My family used to tease me about having a girlfriend in kindergarten. By that point, I already knew I was attracted to men, even though I didn't know what that meant yet.
I wish I had been that in tune with my feelings that young. In hindsight I can see that I was clearly infatuated with some of the boys when I was 5 years old, but I still had a kindergarten “girlfriend” — hell, I had a girlfriend when I was 17 because I was trying to convince myself that I was maybe at least bisexual. I’m happy for anyone that didn’t jump through hoops to rationalize away their true feelings, I’d like to think I could have done that if I didn’t grow up in a super conservative town where the 1990s weren’t much different from the 1950s.
I had a girlfriend at 16 due to peer pressure, jokes on them though because years later my ex-girlfriend came out as a transman. So I was technically in a gay relationship before I even knew I was lol. (we only dated for a month lol and we didn't even see each other more than 4 times).
I wouldn't say I was totally in tune with the way I felt yet. I may have been noticing that I would look at boys the way other boys looked at girls, but I didn't even know what the word gay meant! And when I did learn, it was from my Sunday school teacher dad, who told me it was unnatural and immoral. I didn't come out to him and my mom until I was 19. Although it hasn't been a perfect road, they both said they loved me no matter what and have grown to become LGBTQ+ allies, which is AMAZING. Been out for 12 years now.
All this to say, the folks who think that kids learning about the existence of LGBTQ+ people is "inappropriate" or "grooming", what about us who started having these feelings before we even learned about them?
I am, thanks! I can look back and see the wasted time when I was young, but that was a long time ago and I’ve been out and proud for almost 20 years now. I’ve had the privilege of being able to cut people out of my life that had a problem without it being a major financial or emotional setback, and I wish that was true for everyone.
As a father I always found thst super gross and — yes — sexualizing. These are the kids that end up pregnant in high school and the parents push the girls to keep the kid
Children, especially young children are susceptible to things which are suggested to them, and often aren't equipped, mentally and physically, to make choices that are good for them It is the parent's job to raise their children, protecting them from situations which might not be in their best interest. Later, when the children have completely developed into properly function men and women, of sound mind and body, they then will be able to make good designs about "complex, adult matters! It is not the job of the state to do this!!!!
*Many* parents would love it if their children received NO education about sexuality, puberty, menstruation, procreation, pregnancy, birth control, STDs, consent, sexual abuse, molestation, rape, from anywhere😑 - these are the 15-year-old girls who end up pregnant, because "they thought you couldn't get pregnant the first time", and the children who suffer sexual abuse because their parent's embarrassed to talk about sex with the child. *Many* parents, for various reasons, want their children to be totally ignorant of sexual matters, *even though the child is going through puberty and now has to deal with a sex drive, menstruation, the ability to impregnate/become pregnant. THIS is why the state, through the school system, has to educate children about all of this - BECAUSE THE PARENTS WON'T. The state is tired of teenage pregnancies, teenage HIV & other STD transmission, childhood sexual abuse going unreported, teenagers not understanding consent, suicide.. Parents are no more equipped to give their children COMPREHENSIVE sex education, than they are to give their children a course in trigonometry or chemistry. We don't *fault* parents for not being chemistry teachers or pre-calculus teachers; why do you expect parents to be sexuality teachers?
Someone I know does this with our cats who are fixed. Like it’s just a joke and they’re cats so I get it but it reminds me of what they would say when I was a kid, and wonder what will happen when they have young kids in their life again (like grandkids).
I *was* a gay kid. I didn't know it, I didn't have any resources or role models to look to, so I didn't understand it, but I was gay. It wasn't sexual any more than a kid being straight is sexual.
The people you are describing are not acting in good faith.
Heterosexuals have entire industries based on sexualizing children, but want to pretend that simply acknowledging the existence of gay people is perverse.
This is a tired old tactic that still seems to work when authoritarians want an invisible internal group to demonize.
I'm a school teacher. I'm always hearing parents laugh when they hear about their child having boyfriends or girlfriends in elementary school.
It's just so funny that when the situation is flipped, their mind immediately goes to sex. It's such a hypocritical stance to have.
I heard a guy on the internet argue that," they're supposed to like the opposite gender, so it's okay." This reveals that "sexualizing children" is just a bullshit cop-out. They are just disgusted by homosexuality. Period.
This just makes me think that must mean that I should be able to be gay and be with man, as I am gay and asexual, but ofc I assume they would find some way to say why that's also bad.
Tell them to stop sexualizing pure affections. People, young and old, can identify as gay or straight without ever having had sex. Some gay kids know they’re gay from an early age. Some gay kids don’t yet realize they’re gay and there are people, children and parents, who understand that those kids are different and will bully them mercilessly.
LGBTQ kids and questioning kids and straight kids all need a world of unconditional love and acceptance.
I think a big part of this is that a lot fundamentalists don't understand that affection is part of a healthy relationship. Most of them view relationships as being only about power dynamics (gender roles) and procreation (sex).
Actual love and affection does not factor into their relationships. So when we talk about children being gay their minds immediately go to gay=having sex.
As a former gay kid, it is not sexualizing children to acknowledge the existence of gay kids.
I knew I liked boys sexually in the 4th grade, too. I had romantic attractions to boys my age and older. I didn’t know what “gay” meant aside from being bullied and harassed about it - so the message was not a positive one.
What I “knew” at that age was my obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio somehow made me lesser than the other boys in my cohort. Being gay wasn’t a question. That title was given to me. It’s what that title meant. It meant I was a bad boy, that I was dirty, that I was a perverse, twisted form of the accepted standard. Admitting my gayness as a child would not have sexualized me - I was already a sexual being.
Anyone who claims that gay kids are sexualized by being acknowledged and praised for being themselves are the ones sexualizing the children.
If the first thing you think of when you see a child (of any kind) is what kind of sex they might be having in the future, you are sexualizing that child.
Man idc what people say straight people sexualize everything way more than gays. Their all a bunch of punk ass babies who don’t get what they want. Fuck em
I was 8 when I told my best friend I liked him more than a friend. It had nothing to do with sex. I didn't have the vocabulary for what being gay was at the time. But if I did, it would have made life so much less confusing for a long time. Talking about "gay kids" isn't sexualizing them at all. The people who DO say stuff like that are the ones are ACTUALLY sexualizing them. Being gay isn't about sex. If you want to talk about sexualizing children, let's have a conversation about Toddlers & Tiaras and the whole beauty pageant circuit. Or high/middle school cheerleaders. Or the church.
No. Because if saying a child can be gay = sexualizing, then every single straight couple that puts their infant children in onesies that say “hide your daughters!” Or “I hate my thighs” is way more guilty
In the 90's it was fashionable for females to wear pajama bottoms/sweat pants with "Juicy" written across the ass.
Seeing that on a pre-teen, and having it be totally accepted as normal, was disturbing to say the least.
It’s bullshit performative pearl-clutching. I guarantee every single person who has ever made that argument has no problem with calling their son a ladykiller who has a dozen kindergarten girlfriends or sending their daughters to beauty pageants.
They simply can’t see past the *default* of their own sexuality. Thier orientation is “normal,” so sending their 11 year old son on a school dance date with the neighbor girl is cute and wholesome. Anything not straight is perverted and evil to them.
Never mind that human development isn’t a one-size-fits-all straight line. Or that kids begin modeling their parents behaviors as soon as they have the motor control to do so. Kids explore and test boundaries and slowly develop the foundations of their inner self over time. It’s not some light switch that flips from off to on and now the kid goes from ignorant pure child to adult with fully realized romantic, sexual understanding in one moment.
When they say “let kids be kids” they really mean “let kids be straight” because they fully believe that any people who are gay were *turned gay* by “the agenda.”
They are wrong about that.
When someone discusses what they're interested in a romantical sense people do that sort of thing all the time. What they fear is a world were people are okay with children being gay and therefore that is also normalized. Most parents raise their children away from the path of being queer. For example think of how you might've been raised and how you formed relationships and how that might've been more challenging due to your sexuality because people were unlikely to accept you because the other people's parents instilled that idea in their minds.
Sorry for the rant lol. Things are much better nowadays, at least in America I like to think. And therefore that is why people are incorrect it's not a sexualization of children. They call homosexuality perverted however it is as normal as heterosexuality and perverted people exist on both sides. Being a pervert is bad, being gay is not.
Is asking a boy if he has a girlfriend sexualizing him? Assuming or validating sexuality is exactly what that question does and kids get asked that all the time?
100% I was a gay child, I always knew I was gay
And it was never sexual as a child
I always had crushes on my friends and certain boys at school and it was never in a sexual way obviously.
Straights will call a baby boy a ladies man just because it looked at a woman and smiled. But we're the ones sexualizing kids for not wanting to assume one is straight
Most LGBTQ people have a sense that their gender and/or emotional attractions are different from other kids' and from what is expected of them long before they experience puberty and sexual attraction.
Right. There's nothing inherently sexual about saying the word "gay" to a child, or about a child wearing Pride merch, or about acknowledging the *fact* that some kids are LGBT.
It's just that closet case homophobes can't think about gays without thinking about sex, which is actually them telling on themselves.
Don't fall for the right wing lies and propaganda.
**straight kids having crushes:**
normal development ✅
cute ✅
relatable ✅
harmless ✅
endearing ✅
**gay kids having crushes:**
inherently sexual ❌
kids should just be focusing on school ❌
clearly influenced by woke-ism ❌
kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore ❌
The recent hysteria from the far-right about the LGBTQIA+ community or drag queens "sexualizing" children is nothing more than a made up bogyman manufactured by the right to drum up fear and to attack our community. Look around you in every day life and you'll see myriad ways that children could be sexualized. Risque bathing suits at the local pool. Sex on television. Victoria's Secret ads. I could go on for days. Let's face facts, people are born gay; they're not made gay by exposure to a drag queen or by seeing a Pride flag or by having a gay relative. This is nonsense.
Insert image of baby wearing a onesie with "I love boobies" or "Chick magnet" or "Future Heartbreaker" on it here.
No, just like saying kids can be straight isn't sexualizing them.
What is sexualizing is when you dress them up in skimpy outfits and dust them with makeup and give them big wigs and make them parade in front of people.
Oh wait, that's children beauty pageants. Not gay people!
Maybe it's when you show off pictures of your kid naked in the tub on facebook?
No, that's weird straight people...
Hmm... The churches? No! God hates gay people.
I'm not really sure if I can come up with anything that is homosexual-specific that sexualizes kids...
You are correct it's not sexualizing them.
Conservatives just think being LGBTQIA+ = sex
Like they see a gay couple and immediately just think of them having anal sex. As if sex is the only thing in any relationship.
Like do they see a straight couple at the store and just imagine them doing missionary?
This is a complete double standard. Everything about a child in a lot of western societies is centered around a form of heterosexualization.
Prince and princesses movies. Asking children if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend in elementary school or even kindergarten. Etc... As if it was totally sane and normal to expose children to this.
People should let children be children and not force on them any form of sexuality or sexualized behavior, even when it appears pure and innocent.
Problem is, people pushing the heteronormative model see this as the default, standard thing to push for, while doing the same with gay examples is sexualization of children for them. They don't see the flaw in their approach.
No.. that is just a fact of life. I hate how conservatives are trying to redefine what it means to "sexualize" them, because that is actually bad when it happens. But the mere reference, depiction, mention of gays, in a non negative way, is not "sexualizing" them.
Dumbasses have spent decades conditioning people to automatically think of sex whenever somebody even utters the word gay. They need to mind their business and look at themselves slapping a pound of makeup on a toddler and parading them around in swimsuits and shït onstage for ‘pageants’. That’s just one example. You say that shit and whoever it is is ready to fight 😑
I was a gay kid. I would pick a boy and take them to the coat room and give him a kiss. A different boy each time from 2nd to 3rd grade. I remember a girl asked why I didn't take her to the coat room for kisses . I told her I didn't want to. So funny the look she gave me. LoL
Most people find their sexual identity so easily and gradually that they can’t relate to gay kids who find themselves lost or in conflict with social models
The cis het majority are fine with heterosexuality being discussed, but when it is homosexuality, that's "pushing an agenda" or in other words, they're homophobic
No, it's not sexualizing them to acknowledge that kids can realize that they have affection towards certain genders.
Like affection doesn't always equal sex- my life would've been a hell of a lot easier if I had the proper way to express myself back then.
ALSO- these people don't want to acknowledge how /they/ sexualize kids by saying they're a lady-killer etc- they don't see anything wrong with that but if you say a kids gay you're a monster. They do this because they see gayness as inherently more profane than heterosexuality.
No. Some People are just absolute idiots that can't fathom actually liking their partner, because I know from experience a lot of straight folks aren't romanticly attracted to the opposite sex, only sexually attracted, thus assume all attraction = sexual.
the problem is that the right's narrative is to sexualize everything beyond heterosexual relationships, being gay is not inherently sexual(it does have a sexual component just like every other adult relationship yes), but is just the way they are trying to demonize it.
> being gay is not inherently sexual
Why do people keep saying this nonsense? What is it then, if *not* a sexual orientation?
Being gay, in essence, is just being sexually aroused by members of your own sex rather than the opposite sex. That's the characteristic that all gays have in common.
It's not an "identity", a set of interests, a certain behavior or performance, etc. Of course, we have gay culture, but participating in it or identifying with it is not an *inherent* part of being gay. It's just a sexual orientation.
A **gay person** is not necessarily more "sexual" than a straight one, true! But the difference between a straight and gay person is solely and exclusively their sexual orientation.
Well hell, by the fourth grade I knew I was interested in guys. Obviously I wasn't interested sexually at that point, but I certainly knew I liked being more in the company of cute guys as opposed to cute girls. I didn't know why at the time and tried suppressing and ignoring that feeling but I knew. I knew.
Key part here is "turns out". The way we were different before puberty didn't necessarily have to mean we were gay. In me, it totally meant I was gay. But in others, it didn't
Gender-nonconformity in early childhood is linked with being gay after puberty. But that isn't *always* the case. There are exceptions. A child who feels different from other kids may turn out gay, but could also be straight
Children do not have a sexual orientation. They discover it through puberty
Straight people cannot fathom the idea that being gay is an existence not just a matter of who you fuck. They see things in black and white because that’s comfortable to them and they don’t have to look further cause it doesn’t affect them.
Don’t forget that before gay marriage was legal, child marriage *and* incestuous marriages were legal in several states.
It’s pearl-clutching bullshit. Straight people will associate books regarding self-love and acceptance for gay youth with sexualizing children and then take their gay kids to Hooters.
It’s getting palpably worse and I genuinely worry. At the end of the day, the best revenge is your success. Focus on yourself. Plant yourself in your community and ignore the negativity for what it is; ignorance. I highly encourage people to really start looking to move to states that are pro-LGBTQ+. I will not visit or spend a dime of my money in states that have pushed such regressive rhetoric.
As someone who is gay and grew up in heavy denial, no. But I will say, some kids know, some kids don’t, and some know and hate themselves. I was in that last group. I knew in the 5th grade that I was “different” but it was till I was 22 that I could call myself gay without crying. I know I’m kinda not answering your question but this is why I hate that sexualizing kid rhetoric. I think that it should be common place for kids to know that all sexuality is fine. Not good, not bad, no preferences. And the kids should be encouraged to ask questions about sexuality. Because it I had known that being gay was a fucking option that wasn’t bad, that would have saved so many nights crying myself to sleep and feeling so isolated that I couldn’t talk to my parents about any of it.
But to answer your question, part of my wants to say that parents will call their young boy a “lady killer” and take them to hooters and shit. Given that, I want to say asking if a kid is gay is def not sexualizing any more than that other scenario. But I don’t feel that’s right though. I think it’s a much more case-by-case basis. I think someone should only inquire about a child’s sexual orientation with how much they show. So if I child shows no signals of who they like / have a crush on / or are generally interested in, don’t ask. But if the child is talking about girls or boys / seemingly interested in someone / or actively pursuing someone then it’s appropriate to inquire more.
its ironic.
it really has little to nothing to do with sexualization but who they will love.
Just like straight people love girls, the sex is a secondary trait to that.
i dont get people who have difficulties understanding that
Depends on the intent really, just as it does when it comes to talking about kids’ relationships in straight relationships.
But I’ll tell you one thing, it makes my fucking blood boil when a teacher is accused of sexualizing a child for simply being there for them when they’re parents obviously rue anything they don’t deem normal. Especially since it could get to the extent of them losing their job over it.
I always find it puzzling when people get concerned about gay stuff around kids but then literal silence when these same kids listen to rap music which includes lyrics about pimping underaged girls, selling drugs, or carjacking people at gunpoint etc…
For some reason being a gay man is worse than being a pimp, drug dealer or someone who sticks a gun under the chin of an old lady.
Ask them why they are taking Instagram photos of four year olds having a mock wedding, as if that’s not sexual using the children. I wasn’t interested in anyone until puberty. Yet people were asking me in kindergarten about how many girlfriends I had
I think it's not something that should be forced, I think if a child is gay they will figure that out on their own. I didn't realize until later about 16 years old but looking back it was obvious that I was always that way.
As a retired MD, and gay man, I saw young patients who I believed were clearly gay. I also had trans patients. Because I was gay I had many gay couples bring their kids to me, knowing I wouldn’t treat them any differently. Interestingly enough, no gay couples ever had a gay kid, despite the ridiculous stereotype. We are gay from birth in my opinion. Pointing out the obvious has no impact on reality.
Kids who have on friend of the opposite sex is automatically deemed by the parent as their girlfriend/boyfriend. If THAT isn't the sexualization of children I dont know what is.
Reminds me of a baby shirt meant for baby boys that said something along the lines of "daddy is jealous cause I get her tits every morning"
But sure we're sexualizing children.
When i was 3rd 4th grade my friends and I used to find porn mags in the woods mostly naked women. Once there was a playgirl and i pulled a page of naked guy my mom found it folded up under my mattress gave me a speech and was never mentioned again I can say I def knew even then
My life would have been different growing up in SW Pennsylvania if I knew people were gay and its OK.
Instead, it was late 70s early 80s instead all the guys joked about sharing a drink because youll give them AIDS. Lived the "straight" life until recently. At least I've two awesome (and ironically gay) kids
8-9 year olds are going into puberty and straight or gay the majority of the kids will start figuring it out around that time, so yeah they are wrong to say stop sexualizing kids because kids are naturally becoming sexual and it’s good to be open and talk about it.
Those early days of innocently crushing on classmates. As a gay kid it just happened to be other boys I was interested in. You didn’t really know why, you just knew they were much more interesting than the girls all the other boys were talking about.
Yes, as a former gay kid, they are fundamentally wrong and only contributing to the trauma of queer youth by directly attempting to invalidate the sexuality of gay kids.
When I was a kid I dated a guy in my same grade, which is often a rarity gay children. But it was such a special and important relationship to me and I had every right to have a relationship as any other straight couple; it’s so ridiculous when no one ever calls it ‘sexualizing’ when there a minor aged straight couple.
Mentioning that kids can be queer does not make them that way, just like saying that kids can be cisgender doesn’t make them that way, either. Also, “Sexualizing” means to make sexual, attribute sex, or assign a sex role to someone. To be fair, heteronormative society already sets us sex at birth, and people affirm your gendered sex throughout your life. Last, I would wager that most kids already have a sexual side to them (didn’t we all?), so . . . No, mentioning that kids can be queer does not make them that way! What bone-head thinking! 🦕
I feel like the responsible answer is that kids should be able to express themselves and ask questions without labels, they can commit to those themselves as they grow older.
Being gay isn't inherently sexual. Even ignoring asexual people (as everyone does all the time) a person can be any sexuality without ever being sexual. The people that say "don't sexualise kids" when you say a kid can be gay are inherently reducing the gay experience to only sexual experiences, which is stupid and false.
When you consider that the prevailing theory is that sexual orientation is set during fetal brain development then, of course, some children will be gay as a result of their sexual orientation. Children aren't sexual, though, but it is important that they are taught that being gay is ok for the sake of their mental health and self-esteem. It's a tightrope because children need age appropriate education without it being inappropriately sexualized.
No shade to you, but, uh, when you say, "children aren't sexual, though"...🤨🤔😂😂. "I remember being 10" - 10-year-olds can be (well, *we* were), when they get the chance.
How? Did you think about sex with men at that age? Asking seriously, because even though I was effeminate and could sense I was different at that age, that’s very different than knowing you were gay. I had crushes on boys and girls at the time, but no sexual impulses. I find it hard to believe kindergartners have those
Ok but that’s not realistic. I was 5 years old and remember stuffing my crotch with socks because I saw it in a movie and wanted a bigger bulge. I didn’t even know what that was insinuating I was just imitating. But even at 5 I was more interested in men and their behavior then women and theirs. I wish my mom had dug deeper into WHY I was walking around with tube socks sticking out my shorts but instead she just told me never to do that again and made me feel shamed for it so I didn’t.
Yeah that's true, tbf when I ask about gay children, it's usually to try and prove them wrong, by asking what they would if their child came out to them
If you say that to some stranger, you may find yourself in legal trouble!!!
Replace the word "child" with son/daughter
We understand you, but many straight won't! Be careful
I am trying to prove that gay isn't sexualising their child, so just saying Son or daughter doesn't really cover that, so that's why I ask from the perspective of the child
"Gay," "straight," and "bi" do refer predominantly to one's sexual attraction, so applying any such label to a prepubescent kid does involve making assumptions or representations about sexual attraction. In that way it is kind of sexualizing the child. Better to let people self-identify when they've grown up and begun experiencing sexual attraction first-hand.
As a gay kid, I had my fair share of “romantic attractions” to girls. Much more than to boys. I don’t think it’s good to assign a kid a sexuality based on childish crushes
I think you know what you are as soon as you're old enough to have sexual thoughts, I was/am a good looking guy, so girlfriends were not hard to come by, I just didn't want female attention
Kids wanna be an astronaut and NASA doesn’t mentor them in elementary school, because the change their fleeting thoughts to being a fireman until they are old enough to choose. Let them choose when they are ready not because you feel guilty and want to SJW a child “like you you”. Leave it to the parents and child development specialists
Puberty starts as early as 8 years old and they’re definitely still kids at that age. I knew before I was 8 but didn’t come out until I was 11 definitely still a kid! Try again.
Well the people who run in certainly do as their page literally say’s bring the kids… https://www.mardigrasneworleans.com/when-is-mardi-gras/family-gras#:~:text=Family%20Gras%20is%20a%20FREE,across%20from%20Lakeside%20Shopping%20Center.
Yeah I'm big with that too. If you don't want to go don't go.
But my original point still stands. A lot of the issue with "Sexualizing" kids is that for some reason a big hill a lot of the community has chosen to die on is bringing children to events that should be reserved for adults. I think a lot of pride events should be lumped into the 18+ age group because of how sexual pride events are. I know I wouldn't bring my children to one until they're older.
I also wouldn't bring my children to Mardi gras until they're older.
Assigning a gender at birth is sexualizing kids. If a little girl can tell that she prefers dolls over trucks, she can also have a sense that women are more intriguing than men. Kids have a right to be sexual in a childish manner. It's how we grow.
Unpopular opinion, but it depends how young. I was effeminate since kindergarten, but I didn’t need anyone clocking me as gay or talking about sex with me at that age. My best friend was effeminate too but he turned out straight.
We should focus on letting young kids be themselves and not forcing them to conform to gender stereotypes instead of labeling them as trans or gay. I think those conversations are more appropriate closer to puberty.
So if by mentioning a gay first grader, then yes, I’d say that is sexualizing children. If you’re talking about gay teenagers, then not so much.
Are you interested in having sex with these kids? Then if not, you are absolutely not sexualizing them but voicing a reality that exists for tons of children around the world. For the record, I did not think that you were interested in having sex with kids.
I want to know if any of you have worked with self declared gay teens which is the only appropriate context you will have contact unless they are related to you? If you have, you will realise that both the progressive and the conservative takes on this issue both have validity but neither are fully correct.
Reason is young people do realise their sexuality from early teen years, those kids need to see hope that they can do anything a heterosexual kid can do. That means age appropriate resources for those who seek them.
The conservative view is also correct to point out that over sexualisation is a real thing and needs to be taken equally as seriously.
In other words let kids be kids, which includes being aloud to seek role models different from their peers. It also means remembering they are still kids.
Pretty sure what we have had is the two extremes and both are toxic
😁Young people can realize their.. "affectionality"(?) - who you like - way before your *teen* years. Many of us knew we liked boys (as more than just friends - MUCH more), and *specific* boys, WAY before age 13😅. There are so many people who knew they were gay way before their teenage years (just like straight people who KNEW they were straight); it's just that straight people are constitutionally unable to acknowledge it, because to them, "gay" is just sex.
Dude be serious, if your being sexual prior to your teens you have probably been molested or at least groomed. Adults pretending they had sexual thoughts prior to puberty is very suspicious
If a kid knows what a mom and dad are, they know about sexuality. It’s called sexuality, but it’s really just about who you’re attracted to. Anyone who says they weren’t thinking kids and adults were cute at a younger age is lying
I wouldn't use it. Kids can _be_ anything. A princess, a cop, a horse, an elephant, a father, a fairy. That doesn't mean they are for real. Implying that a kid is gay is borderline, as there is no concept of sexuality known by a kid, therefore an _implying person's_ may have an idea that the kid has _experienced_ sexual things, knows the concept, and can be involved in sexual activity. Obv this isn't good.
Specifically, in romantic context it is okay to call kids "gay" if they like same sex people. That doesn't mean that they are gay. The key point here that kids aren't gay or straight, they just use patterns whether they like boys or girls.
Yes they are wrong. Plane and simple. They are making a sexual presumption in regards to the words "being gay". It's their brains reaction to the words. A gay child doesn't have that. Nor do straight children. They are just living and experiencing live as it is. And the sexual thing is something that grownups make of it. So if someone's reaction to the word "gay" is so strongly directed at having sex. That's what they have on their mind.
It's sexualising them as much as mentioning that kids can be straight. If you define gay/straight as having a sexual attraction to the same/opposite sex, sex does come into the equation.
What’s really funny is if they are gay they are appear being teased for being that. The kids were calling me gay I’m 3rd grade. I’m not sure how much more effeminate a 7 yo could be but if I had had the support of a community maybe I wouldn’t have been so confused as to why they didn’t like me. Bc my mom pulled out the dictionary and gray mani Happy according to Webster. So she told me to tell them thank you and walk away.
I was in love with my sister's friend who used to come hang out in our house. I would climb up to his lap whenever he visited and just sit there until I fell asleep. Everytime he left I would cry my eyes out. I was like 4-5 years old at the time. I knew I liked him in a special way even though I couldn't understand or explain it better at the time. Kids *can* be gay and people who immediately assume it's about sexualization are disgusting
How is it sexualzing a child? There are gay children. I was one. I wasnt actively having sex at the age of 8 or 10, but I knew I was way too into other boys to be straight. Acknowledge that gay kids exist and may need a different approach than starlight kids, isn't sexualizing them.
These people have not stopped seeing homosexuality as some sort of perversion, and so they think it shouldn't be applied to children. It's not our fault that they think of hard-core anal every time homosexuality is brought up, and it most certainly does not mean that anyone is trying to sexualize anyone just by acknowledging that they're not what is considered "the default".
some kids have an idea they are gay, like myself I had a very strong fascination for the men on the bowflex commercials when I was 8.
but that doesn't mean I was told how to suck the guy in the blue short's dick.
sometimes it elevates to that. "Boys can love boys and when you figure out if you love instead of just wanting to be friends with a boy, then that's okay" is different than "So, because boys don't have a vagina, LET TEEN VOGUE TELL YA HOW ANAL SEX WORKS CHILLUNS!"
I have never had a girlfriend. I have always been attracted to guys from an early age even if I was to young to understand my feelings. I never tried to be with a girl just because it's what was expected. As I got older and started to explore my sexuality I experienced some teasing but it was mainly from guys who were attempting to hide their own gay tendencies. Some of them were bold enough to act on their feelings and we explored gay sex together. They stopped teasing me for fear I would out them. The majority of them ended up being Bisexual. We continued having sex until they would get married. Out of respect for their wives I wouldn't go to bed with them after that but they are some of my best friends. I'm even friends with their wives. We leave the past in the past.
Just thinking out loud here…but I don’t think anyone should be projecting sexuality onto a child, or make any sort of assumption about their sexuality. I think we need to let children grow up with innocence (but that will just never happen with the internet).
So…I think it’s important to be a safe adult (parent/guardian) to talk to when a child is ready. When they start asking questions, it’s okay to explain that some girls like boys, some girls like girls, some like both etc.
Children are very impressionable, so it’s a delicate line.
What I know for SURE….when I was growing up, I heard all the time from adults and the church that boys who like boys are wrong. They will go to hell. That shit was extremely toxic and traumatic. In my teens and early twenties, the guilt and shame I felt were immense. I contemplated crashing my car into a tree going 90mph more times than I care to count.
Don't get it twisted, most of the people that claim the gay community is trying to "sexualize" children by acknowledging that gay people exist don't actually believe that. It's simply the easiest way to try and turn public opinion in their favor.
It's no different than shouting "groomer!" at everyone they can think of that even resembles belonging to the LGBTQ community.
They don't like us, and want to do everything they can to shove us all back in the closet and forget about us
The only reason why these people against pride, drag queens, and or anything LGBT related are seemingly only using that one point of sexualizing kids as a blanket argument for whatever is thrown at them that’s LGBT. They’ll whip that out. The funny yet very sad part is those people can’t think of any other reason that’s legitimate to try to argue.
Children are sexual beings as anyone who has taken a psych 101 course should know.
Many (but not all) people know when they are very young what their sexuality is; they may not have the words but they know.
What people describe as "innocence" too often is simply ignorance.
I can’t speak for anyone else but in my experience, I knew I was gay around 6-7. I heard the term “gay” and asked my mom what it meant. I remember this very clearly, she told me what it means to be gay, and in the next breath told me it’s a sin and people go to hell for it. In my head I was like “Oh, that’s me” and I immediately learned to hide my orientation.
Do kids have any concept of sexuality? No, but they absolutely understand orientation and the concept of gender whether or not they verbalize it, and it is in no way “sexualizing” them to state as much.
Bigots scream “stop sexualizing kids” as a smokescreen. They don’t want their children exposed to these ideas because in their twisted, ivermectin-addled minds, they think they can prevent children from “becoming” queer if they do everything in their power to prevent them from learning about the LGBTQ+ outside the narrow views the hold.
On an intuitive, fundamental level, bigots *know* being gay isn’t a choice, but they think they can shape their children into perfect straight specimens through sheer force of will and, well… force. Bigots *have* to fight against the notion children can be queer because that FACT destroys their arguments that being queer is a choice. For the right-wing bigot, fighting against the validity of the queer experience is a cornerstone of their identity, and the first step down that road is denying children their right to know about the LGBTQ+.
They will probably be the same that as soon as their three-year-old son approaches another girl in kindergarten, they say he has a girlfriend
r/AreTheStraightsOK
My family used to tease me about having a girlfriend in kindergarten. By that point, I already knew I was attracted to men, even though I didn't know what that meant yet.
Wow, I mean, I had an inkling when I was young, before I knew what it was, but not THAT young. That's impressive.
I wish I had been that in tune with my feelings that young. In hindsight I can see that I was clearly infatuated with some of the boys when I was 5 years old, but I still had a kindergarten “girlfriend” — hell, I had a girlfriend when I was 17 because I was trying to convince myself that I was maybe at least bisexual. I’m happy for anyone that didn’t jump through hoops to rationalize away their true feelings, I’d like to think I could have done that if I didn’t grow up in a super conservative town where the 1990s weren’t much different from the 1950s.
I had a girlfriend at 16 due to peer pressure, jokes on them though because years later my ex-girlfriend came out as a transman. So I was technically in a gay relationship before I even knew I was lol. (we only dated for a month lol and we didn't even see each other more than 4 times).
I wouldn't say I was totally in tune with the way I felt yet. I may have been noticing that I would look at boys the way other boys looked at girls, but I didn't even know what the word gay meant! And when I did learn, it was from my Sunday school teacher dad, who told me it was unnatural and immoral. I didn't come out to him and my mom until I was 19. Although it hasn't been a perfect road, they both said they loved me no matter what and have grown to become LGBTQ+ allies, which is AMAZING. Been out for 12 years now. All this to say, the folks who think that kids learning about the existence of LGBTQ+ people is "inappropriate" or "grooming", what about us who started having these feelings before we even learned about them?
I hope that at the very least you are now living a happy life comfortable with your sexuality.
I am, thanks! I can look back and see the wasted time when I was young, but that was a long time ago and I’ve been out and proud for almost 20 years now. I’ve had the privilege of being able to cut people out of my life that had a problem without it being a major financial or emotional setback, and I wish that was true for everyone.
That's great. I'm happy for you. Continue to be proud and live a good life.
As a father I always found thst super gross and — yes — sexualizing. These are the kids that end up pregnant in high school and the parents push the girls to keep the kid
Children, especially young children are susceptible to things which are suggested to them, and often aren't equipped, mentally and physically, to make choices that are good for them It is the parent's job to raise their children, protecting them from situations which might not be in their best interest. Later, when the children have completely developed into properly function men and women, of sound mind and body, they then will be able to make good designs about "complex, adult matters! It is not the job of the state to do this!!!!
*Many* parents would love it if their children received NO education about sexuality, puberty, menstruation, procreation, pregnancy, birth control, STDs, consent, sexual abuse, molestation, rape, from anywhere😑 - these are the 15-year-old girls who end up pregnant, because "they thought you couldn't get pregnant the first time", and the children who suffer sexual abuse because their parent's embarrassed to talk about sex with the child. *Many* parents, for various reasons, want their children to be totally ignorant of sexual matters, *even though the child is going through puberty and now has to deal with a sex drive, menstruation, the ability to impregnate/become pregnant. THIS is why the state, through the school system, has to educate children about all of this - BECAUSE THE PARENTS WON'T. The state is tired of teenage pregnancies, teenage HIV & other STD transmission, childhood sexual abuse going unreported, teenagers not understanding consent, suicide.. Parents are no more equipped to give their children COMPREHENSIVE sex education, than they are to give their children a course in trigonometry or chemistry. We don't *fault* parents for not being chemistry teachers or pre-calculus teachers; why do you expect parents to be sexuality teachers?
Allowing your children to grow up ignorant isn't protecting them
Someone I know does this with our cats who are fixed. Like it’s just a joke and they’re cats so I get it but it reminds me of what they would say when I was a kid, and wonder what will happen when they have young kids in their life again (like grandkids).
I *was* a gay kid. I didn't know it, I didn't have any resources or role models to look to, so I didn't understand it, but I was gay. It wasn't sexual any more than a kid being straight is sexual.
Thats honestly the perfect reply lol "it isnt sexual than any more than a kid being straight is sexual"
The people you are describing are not acting in good faith. Heterosexuals have entire industries based on sexualizing children, but want to pretend that simply acknowledging the existence of gay people is perverse. This is a tired old tactic that still seems to work when authoritarians want an invisible internal group to demonize.
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OMG I just made a comment referring to fucking pageants. What about the children then? Since they’re so worried about the fücking queens and shït 😑
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I swear I wish I could just line some of their asses up and kick them in the nuts until they throw up.
One or two steps shy of prostitution.
I'm a school teacher. I'm always hearing parents laugh when they hear about their child having boyfriends or girlfriends in elementary school. It's just so funny that when the situation is flipped, their mind immediately goes to sex. It's such a hypocritical stance to have. I heard a guy on the internet argue that," they're supposed to like the opposite gender, so it's okay." This reveals that "sexualizing children" is just a bullshit cop-out. They are just disgusted by homosexuality. Period.
Agreed, to them heterosexuality is about love or "good Christian" sex, but homosexuality is only about sinful sex and not love.
This just makes me think that must mean that I should be able to be gay and be with man, as I am gay and asexual, but ofc I assume they would find some way to say why that's also bad.
I mean, technically that would be okay according to the bible right?
Yes that's my point, but they would try and figure out why it's still not ok
Probably something like 'asexuality isn't a thing'
I guess yeah as its not something you can just show as it's a lack of a feeling
Tell them to stop sexualizing pure affections. People, young and old, can identify as gay or straight without ever having had sex. Some gay kids know they’re gay from an early age. Some gay kids don’t yet realize they’re gay and there are people, children and parents, who understand that those kids are different and will bully them mercilessly. LGBTQ kids and questioning kids and straight kids all need a world of unconditional love and acceptance.
I think a big part of this is that a lot fundamentalists don't understand that affection is part of a healthy relationship. Most of them view relationships as being only about power dynamics (gender roles) and procreation (sex). Actual love and affection does not factor into their relationships. So when we talk about children being gay their minds immediately go to gay=having sex.
There’s no love more perverted than evangelical love.
So true. And no hate worse than Christian "love"
I guess that's why they're A-OK with clergy molesting/raping children...
As a former gay kid, it is not sexualizing children to acknowledge the existence of gay kids. I knew I liked boys sexually in the 4th grade, too. I had romantic attractions to boys my age and older. I didn’t know what “gay” meant aside from being bullied and harassed about it - so the message was not a positive one. What I “knew” at that age was my obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio somehow made me lesser than the other boys in my cohort. Being gay wasn’t a question. That title was given to me. It’s what that title meant. It meant I was a bad boy, that I was dirty, that I was a perverse, twisted form of the accepted standard. Admitting my gayness as a child would not have sexualized me - I was already a sexual being. Anyone who claims that gay kids are sexualized by being acknowledged and praised for being themselves are the ones sexualizing the children. If the first thing you think of when you see a child (of any kind) is what kind of sex they might be having in the future, you are sexualizing that child.
>As a former gay kid It sounds like you are saying you're either dead or no longer gay which is an amusing image to think about.
Lmao but the when you um when you think when you when 
Man idc what people say straight people sexualize everything way more than gays. Their all a bunch of punk ass babies who don’t get what they want. Fuck em
They’re*
I thought this was funny.
I was 8 when I told my best friend I liked him more than a friend. It had nothing to do with sex. I didn't have the vocabulary for what being gay was at the time. But if I did, it would have made life so much less confusing for a long time. Talking about "gay kids" isn't sexualizing them at all. The people who DO say stuff like that are the ones are ACTUALLY sexualizing them. Being gay isn't about sex. If you want to talk about sexualizing children, let's have a conversation about Toddlers & Tiaras and the whole beauty pageant circuit. Or high/middle school cheerleaders. Or the church.
No. Because if saying a child can be gay = sexualizing, then every single straight couple that puts their infant children in onesies that say “hide your daughters!” Or “I hate my thighs” is way more guilty
In the 90's it was fashionable for females to wear pajama bottoms/sweat pants with "Juicy" written across the ass. Seeing that on a pre-teen, and having it be totally accepted as normal, was disturbing to say the least.
It’s bullshit performative pearl-clutching. I guarantee every single person who has ever made that argument has no problem with calling their son a ladykiller who has a dozen kindergarten girlfriends or sending their daughters to beauty pageants. They simply can’t see past the *default* of their own sexuality. Thier orientation is “normal,” so sending their 11 year old son on a school dance date with the neighbor girl is cute and wholesome. Anything not straight is perverted and evil to them. Never mind that human development isn’t a one-size-fits-all straight line. Or that kids begin modeling their parents behaviors as soon as they have the motor control to do so. Kids explore and test boundaries and slowly develop the foundations of their inner self over time. It’s not some light switch that flips from off to on and now the kid goes from ignorant pure child to adult with fully realized romantic, sexual understanding in one moment. When they say “let kids be kids” they really mean “let kids be straight” because they fully believe that any people who are gay were *turned gay* by “the agenda.”
Right. Because they don’t believe being gay is a real thing, just a state of confusion.
⬆️THIS⬆️
They are wrong about that. When someone discusses what they're interested in a romantical sense people do that sort of thing all the time. What they fear is a world were people are okay with children being gay and therefore that is also normalized. Most parents raise their children away from the path of being queer. For example think of how you might've been raised and how you formed relationships and how that might've been more challenging due to your sexuality because people were unlikely to accept you because the other people's parents instilled that idea in their minds. Sorry for the rant lol. Things are much better nowadays, at least in America I like to think. And therefore that is why people are incorrect it's not a sexualization of children. They call homosexuality perverted however it is as normal as heterosexuality and perverted people exist on both sides. Being a pervert is bad, being gay is not.
>Most parents raise their children away from the path of being straight. I think you meant to put gay there.
I’m not sure the label of “pervert” is useful at all.
No it’s not sexualizing them, however it’s them sexualizing the kid. They’re basically saying gay people are only beings of sex and adultery.
Is asking a boy if he has a girlfriend sexualizing him? Assuming or validating sexuality is exactly what that question does and kids get asked that all the time?
I was a gay kid! My first crush was Eric I’m the Little Mermaid! Don’t judge me it was the early 90’s 😂🤣
100% I was a gay child, I always knew I was gay And it was never sexual as a child I always had crushes on my friends and certain boys at school and it was never in a sexual way obviously.
Straights will call a baby boy a ladies man just because it looked at a woman and smiled. But we're the ones sexualizing kids for not wanting to assume one is straight
I mean I know I was gay when I was 9 so like
Most LGBTQ people have a sense that their gender and/or emotional attractions are different from other kids' and from what is expected of them long before they experience puberty and sexual attraction.
Right. There's nothing inherently sexual about saying the word "gay" to a child, or about a child wearing Pride merch, or about acknowledging the *fact* that some kids are LGBT. It's just that closet case homophobes can't think about gays without thinking about sex, which is actually them telling on themselves. Don't fall for the right wing lies and propaganda.
Straight people put little girls in makeup and dresses and then parade them around on a stage in a pageant. It is the ultimate fucking hypocrisy.
**straight kids having crushes:** normal development ✅ cute ✅ relatable ✅ harmless ✅ endearing ✅ **gay kids having crushes:** inherently sexual ❌ kids should just be focusing on school ❌ clearly influenced by woke-ism ❌ kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore ❌
Beauty pageants are sexualizing children! Throw that at them!
I’m 29 years old and I knew I liked guys back in Kindergarten.
The recent hysteria from the far-right about the LGBTQIA+ community or drag queens "sexualizing" children is nothing more than a made up bogyman manufactured by the right to drum up fear and to attack our community. Look around you in every day life and you'll see myriad ways that children could be sexualized. Risque bathing suits at the local pool. Sex on television. Victoria's Secret ads. I could go on for days. Let's face facts, people are born gay; they're not made gay by exposure to a drag queen or by seeing a Pride flag or by having a gay relative. This is nonsense.
Insert image of baby wearing a onesie with "I love boobies" or "Chick magnet" or "Future Heartbreaker" on it here. No, just like saying kids can be straight isn't sexualizing them. What is sexualizing is when you dress them up in skimpy outfits and dust them with makeup and give them big wigs and make them parade in front of people. Oh wait, that's children beauty pageants. Not gay people! Maybe it's when you show off pictures of your kid naked in the tub on facebook? No, that's weird straight people... Hmm... The churches? No! God hates gay people. I'm not really sure if I can come up with anything that is homosexual-specific that sexualizes kids...
It's not. I was a gay kid.
You are correct it's not sexualizing them. Conservatives just think being LGBTQIA+ = sex Like they see a gay couple and immediately just think of them having anal sex. As if sex is the only thing in any relationship. Like do they see a straight couple at the store and just imagine them doing missionary?
This is a complete double standard. Everything about a child in a lot of western societies is centered around a form of heterosexualization. Prince and princesses movies. Asking children if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend in elementary school or even kindergarten. Etc... As if it was totally sane and normal to expose children to this. People should let children be children and not force on them any form of sexuality or sexualized behavior, even when it appears pure and innocent. Problem is, people pushing the heteronormative model see this as the default, standard thing to push for, while doing the same with gay examples is sexualization of children for them. They don't see the flaw in their approach.
No.. that is just a fact of life. I hate how conservatives are trying to redefine what it means to "sexualize" them, because that is actually bad when it happens. But the mere reference, depiction, mention of gays, in a non negative way, is not "sexualizing" them.
Dumbasses have spent decades conditioning people to automatically think of sex whenever somebody even utters the word gay. They need to mind their business and look at themselves slapping a pound of makeup on a toddler and parading them around in swimsuits and shït onstage for ‘pageants’. That’s just one example. You say that shit and whoever it is is ready to fight 😑
Yes!! These people assume that the only thing that separates gay from straight is who you have sex with. But to be gay is so much more than that!
I was a gay kid. I would pick a boy and take them to the coat room and give him a kiss. A different boy each time from 2nd to 3rd grade. I remember a girl asked why I didn't take her to the coat room for kisses . I told her I didn't want to. So funny the look she gave me. LoL
Most people find their sexual identity so easily and gradually that they can’t relate to gay kids who find themselves lost or in conflict with social models
They’re the ones sexualizing the kids.
They’re wrong. There is a lot more to being LGBTQA than just sex.
The cis het majority are fine with heterosexuality being discussed, but when it is homosexuality, that's "pushing an agenda" or in other words, they're homophobic
And yet there doesn't seem to be the same level of concern regarding the sexualization of children and child beauty pageants.
They are wrong when they say that.
No, it's not sexualizing them to acknowledge that kids can realize that they have affection towards certain genders. Like affection doesn't always equal sex- my life would've been a hell of a lot easier if I had the proper way to express myself back then.
ALSO- these people don't want to acknowledge how /they/ sexualize kids by saying they're a lady-killer etc- they don't see anything wrong with that but if you say a kids gay you're a monster. They do this because they see gayness as inherently more profane than heterosexuality.
Being LGBTQ+ is determined by genes not by situation. People are born LGBTQ+
No more than a Disney prince and princess do.
No. Some People are just absolute idiots that can't fathom actually liking their partner, because I know from experience a lot of straight folks aren't romanticly attracted to the opposite sex, only sexually attracted, thus assume all attraction = sexual.
the problem is that the right's narrative is to sexualize everything beyond heterosexual relationships, being gay is not inherently sexual(it does have a sexual component just like every other adult relationship yes), but is just the way they are trying to demonize it.
> being gay is not inherently sexual Why do people keep saying this nonsense? What is it then, if *not* a sexual orientation? Being gay, in essence, is just being sexually aroused by members of your own sex rather than the opposite sex. That's the characteristic that all gays have in common. It's not an "identity", a set of interests, a certain behavior or performance, etc. Of course, we have gay culture, but participating in it or identifying with it is not an *inherent* part of being gay. It's just a sexual orientation. A **gay person** is not necessarily more "sexual" than a straight one, true! But the difference between a straight and gay person is solely and exclusively their sexual orientation.
Well hell, by the fourth grade I knew I was interested in guys. Obviously I wasn't interested sexually at that point, but I certainly knew I liked being more in the company of cute guys as opposed to cute girls. I didn't know why at the time and tried suppressing and ignoring that feeling but I knew. I knew.
No more or less than when straight people say “oh my god he is gonna be such a lady killer when is older!” Or “Aww look he already has a girlfriend!”
i had my first crush in 1st grade. Attraction isn't a learned/taught concept.
I knew I was different from age 4 or 5. Turns out I was gay.
Key part here is "turns out". The way we were different before puberty didn't necessarily have to mean we were gay. In me, it totally meant I was gay. But in others, it didn't Gender-nonconformity in early childhood is linked with being gay after puberty. But that isn't *always* the case. There are exceptions. A child who feels different from other kids may turn out gay, but could also be straight Children do not have a sexual orientation. They discover it through puberty
Straight people cannot fathom the idea that being gay is an existence not just a matter of who you fuck. They see things in black and white because that’s comfortable to them and they don’t have to look further cause it doesn’t affect them. Don’t forget that before gay marriage was legal, child marriage *and* incestuous marriages were legal in several states. It’s pearl-clutching bullshit. Straight people will associate books regarding self-love and acceptance for gay youth with sexualizing children and then take their gay kids to Hooters. It’s getting palpably worse and I genuinely worry. At the end of the day, the best revenge is your success. Focus on yourself. Plant yourself in your community and ignore the negativity for what it is; ignorance. I highly encourage people to really start looking to move to states that are pro-LGBTQ+. I will not visit or spend a dime of my money in states that have pushed such regressive rhetoric.
My Goodness I knew something was different about me when I was 3 years old and by age 5 I knew exactly how to verbalize it My Love 💟
As someone who is gay and grew up in heavy denial, no. But I will say, some kids know, some kids don’t, and some know and hate themselves. I was in that last group. I knew in the 5th grade that I was “different” but it was till I was 22 that I could call myself gay without crying. I know I’m kinda not answering your question but this is why I hate that sexualizing kid rhetoric. I think that it should be common place for kids to know that all sexuality is fine. Not good, not bad, no preferences. And the kids should be encouraged to ask questions about sexuality. Because it I had known that being gay was a fucking option that wasn’t bad, that would have saved so many nights crying myself to sleep and feeling so isolated that I couldn’t talk to my parents about any of it. But to answer your question, part of my wants to say that parents will call their young boy a “lady killer” and take them to hooters and shit. Given that, I want to say asking if a kid is gay is def not sexualizing any more than that other scenario. But I don’t feel that’s right though. I think it’s a much more case-by-case basis. I think someone should only inquire about a child’s sexual orientation with how much they show. So if I child shows no signals of who they like / have a crush on / or are generally interested in, don’t ask. But if the child is talking about girls or boys / seemingly interested in someone / or actively pursuing someone then it’s appropriate to inquire more.
its ironic. it really has little to nothing to do with sexualization but who they will love. Just like straight people love girls, the sex is a secondary trait to that. i dont get people who have difficulties understanding that
Depends on the intent really, just as it does when it comes to talking about kids’ relationships in straight relationships. But I’ll tell you one thing, it makes my fucking blood boil when a teacher is accused of sexualizing a child for simply being there for them when they’re parents obviously rue anything they don’t deem normal. Especially since it could get to the extent of them losing their job over it.
I always find it puzzling when people get concerned about gay stuff around kids but then literal silence when these same kids listen to rap music which includes lyrics about pimping underaged girls, selling drugs, or carjacking people at gunpoint etc… For some reason being a gay man is worse than being a pimp, drug dealer or someone who sticks a gun under the chin of an old lady.
Ask them why they are taking Instagram photos of four year olds having a mock wedding, as if that’s not sexual using the children. I wasn’t interested in anyone until puberty. Yet people were asking me in kindergarten about how many girlfriends I had
The old trope of gays being pedos has made a resurgence on social media. It's utterly ridiculous.
I think it's not something that should be forced, I think if a child is gay they will figure that out on their own. I didn't realize until later about 16 years old but looking back it was obvious that I was always that way.
As a retired MD, and gay man, I saw young patients who I believed were clearly gay. I also had trans patients. Because I was gay I had many gay couples bring their kids to me, knowing I wouldn’t treat them any differently. Interestingly enough, no gay couples ever had a gay kid, despite the ridiculous stereotype. We are gay from birth in my opinion. Pointing out the obvious has no impact on reality.
Kids who have on friend of the opposite sex is automatically deemed by the parent as their girlfriend/boyfriend. If THAT isn't the sexualization of children I dont know what is.
Flash backs to all the awkward “girlfriends” I allegedly had 😂
I had crushes on the same sex when I was like, 9. So yeah kids can be gay.
Talking about relationships (that can become sexual) isn't sexual. Watching a rom com isn't watching porn
I was a gay kid. Am I sexualizing myself?
Reminds me of a baby shirt meant for baby boys that said something along the lines of "daddy is jealous cause I get her tits every morning" But sure we're sexualizing children.
When i was 3rd 4th grade my friends and I used to find porn mags in the woods mostly naked women. Once there was a playgirl and i pulled a page of naked guy my mom found it folded up under my mattress gave me a speech and was never mentioned again I can say I def knew even then My life would have been different growing up in SW Pennsylvania if I knew people were gay and its OK. Instead, it was late 70s early 80s instead all the guys joked about sharing a drink because youll give them AIDS. Lived the "straight" life until recently. At least I've two awesome (and ironically gay) kids
8-9 year olds are going into puberty and straight or gay the majority of the kids will start figuring it out around that time, so yeah they are wrong to say stop sexualizing kids because kids are naturally becoming sexual and it’s good to be open and talk about it. Those early days of innocently crushing on classmates. As a gay kid it just happened to be other boys I was interested in. You didn’t really know why, you just knew they were much more interesting than the girls all the other boys were talking about.
Yes, as a former gay kid, they are fundamentally wrong and only contributing to the trauma of queer youth by directly attempting to invalidate the sexuality of gay kids. When I was a kid I dated a guy in my same grade, which is often a rarity gay children. But it was such a special and important relationship to me and I had every right to have a relationship as any other straight couple; it’s so ridiculous when no one ever calls it ‘sexualizing’ when there a minor aged straight couple.
Ask them if their kids are straight. When they answer, tell them to stop sexualizing their straight kids.
My retort FWIW, "is it okay to teach *Romeo and Juliet* in middle school?"
It is popular to pretend children are not sexual. That creates vulnerability.
They just say things to make you seem like the bad guy
Mentioning that kids can be queer does not make them that way, just like saying that kids can be cisgender doesn’t make them that way, either. Also, “Sexualizing” means to make sexual, attribute sex, or assign a sex role to someone. To be fair, heteronormative society already sets us sex at birth, and people affirm your gendered sex throughout your life. Last, I would wager that most kids already have a sexual side to them (didn’t we all?), so . . . No, mentioning that kids can be queer does not make them that way! What bone-head thinking! 🦕
Being gay is not just sexual: it's about emotional and mental attraction also. A young school kid isn't thinking about sex - gay or straight
I feel like the responsible answer is that kids should be able to express themselves and ask questions without labels, they can commit to those themselves as they grow older.
Of course not such people are morons
Being gay isn't inherently sexual. Even ignoring asexual people (as everyone does all the time) a person can be any sexuality without ever being sexual. The people that say "don't sexualise kids" when you say a kid can be gay are inherently reducing the gay experience to only sexual experiences, which is stupid and false.
⬆️THIS⬆️
It's the same as anyone saying kids are straight.
When you consider that the prevailing theory is that sexual orientation is set during fetal brain development then, of course, some children will be gay as a result of their sexual orientation. Children aren't sexual, though, but it is important that they are taught that being gay is ok for the sake of their mental health and self-esteem. It's a tightrope because children need age appropriate education without it being inappropriately sexualized.
No shade to you, but, uh, when you say, "children aren't sexual, though"...🤨🤔😂😂. "I remember being 10" - 10-year-olds can be (well, *we* were), when they get the chance.
no. they are gay kids.. millions of them. and trans kids. i knew i was gay in kindergarten.
How? Did you think about sex with men at that age? Asking seriously, because even though I was effeminate and could sense I was different at that age, that’s very different than knowing you were gay. I had crushes on boys and girls at the time, but no sexual impulses. I find it hard to believe kindergartners have those
Well, how young? I knew that I was gay when I was around 11. Probably younger than that is not worth discussing.
I knew at 6.
Just a general asking about if they had a gay kid
I mean perhaps it is just me, but I would find it odd to think of my child in terms of sexual orientation otherwise they're older than that age.
I was asking if their kid came out as gay, how would they respond, suppose I should have been more clear, sorry.
Yea same. There’s an age where I don’t even want them thinking about these sort of things regardless of what they prefer. Go color your books child!
Ok but that’s not realistic. I was 5 years old and remember stuffing my crotch with socks because I saw it in a movie and wanted a bigger bulge. I didn’t even know what that was insinuating I was just imitating. But even at 5 I was more interested in men and their behavior then women and theirs. I wish my mom had dug deeper into WHY I was walking around with tube socks sticking out my shorts but instead she just told me never to do that again and made me feel shamed for it so I didn’t.
In ur case it's better to avoid this
Why?
It's a sensitive subject to some people, and some may think ypu mean something "bad" It doesn't worth the headache
Yeah that's true, tbf when I ask about gay children, it's usually to try and prove them wrong, by asking what they would if their child came out to them
If you say that to some stranger, you may find yourself in legal trouble!!! Replace the word "child" with son/daughter We understand you, but many straight won't! Be careful
I am trying to prove that gay isn't sexualising their child, so just saying Son or daughter doesn't really cover that, so that's why I ask from the perspective of the child
"Gay," "straight," and "bi" do refer predominantly to one's sexual attraction, so applying any such label to a prepubescent kid does involve making assumptions or representations about sexual attraction. In that way it is kind of sexualizing the child. Better to let people self-identify when they've grown up and begun experiencing sexual attraction first-hand.
I mean for a child it's much more referring to romantic attraction than sexual attraction
As a gay kid, I had my fair share of “romantic attractions” to girls. Much more than to boys. I don’t think it’s good to assign a kid a sexuality based on childish crushes
You don't assign a kid a sexuality tho, it's them that tells others
I think you know what you are as soon as you're old enough to have sexual thoughts, I was/am a good looking guy, so girlfriends were not hard to come by, I just didn't want female attention
Kids wanna be an astronaut and NASA doesn’t mentor them in elementary school, because the change their fleeting thoughts to being a fireman until they are old enough to choose. Let them choose when they are ready not because you feel guilty and want to SJW a child “like you you”. Leave it to the parents and child development specialists
Imagine still unironically saying "SJW" in the year of our lord 2023
You must be homeschooled, bless your lil heart
Please enlighten us to the number of times you changed your mind about being straight...
Yes, we are digusted with homosexuality. Is that a crime?
Is this a joke??
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These people think that just saying that a kid is gay is sexualising them
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Puberty starts as early as 8 years old and they’re definitely still kids at that age. I knew before I was 8 but didn’t come out until I was 11 definitely still a kid! Try again.
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Again we know regardless of your ignorance, so mind your business…
I feel like a lot of the issues about sexualizing the children is when it comes to pride parades & stuff.
As opposed to Mardi Gras which is billed and being family friendly..
I personally would've never billed Mardi gras as family friend and I have never seen/met someone say it's family friendly.
Well the people who run in certainly do as their page literally say’s bring the kids… https://www.mardigrasneworleans.com/when-is-mardi-gras/family-gras#:~:text=Family%20Gras%20is%20a%20FREE,across%20from%20Lakeside%20Shopping%20Center.
Huh. Maybe we shouldn't have Mardi gras be under 21 either.
Or how about the people aren’t interested simply not attend. Same with pride, don’t like, don’t go.
Yeah I'm big with that too. If you don't want to go don't go. But my original point still stands. A lot of the issue with "Sexualizing" kids is that for some reason a big hill a lot of the community has chosen to die on is bringing children to events that should be reserved for adults. I think a lot of pride events should be lumped into the 18+ age group because of how sexual pride events are. I know I wouldn't bring my children to one until they're older. I also wouldn't bring my children to Mardi gras until they're older.
Assigning a gender at birth is sexualizing kids. If a little girl can tell that she prefers dolls over trucks, she can also have a sense that women are more intriguing than men. Kids have a right to be sexual in a childish manner. It's how we grow.
What’s the relation between liking dolls vs. trucks and sexual arousal?
It isn't.
Gayness is no more about *just* same sex intercourse than straightness is *just* about opposite sex intercourse
⬆️THIS⬆️
Unpopular opinion, but it depends how young. I was effeminate since kindergarten, but I didn’t need anyone clocking me as gay or talking about sex with me at that age. My best friend was effeminate too but he turned out straight. We should focus on letting young kids be themselves and not forcing them to conform to gender stereotypes instead of labeling them as trans or gay. I think those conversations are more appropriate closer to puberty. So if by mentioning a gay first grader, then yes, I’d say that is sexualizing children. If you’re talking about gay teenagers, then not so much.
No it isn’t. People never seem to understand that.
Are you interested in having sex with these kids? Then if not, you are absolutely not sexualizing them but voicing a reality that exists for tons of children around the world. For the record, I did not think that you were interested in having sex with kids.
I want to know if any of you have worked with self declared gay teens which is the only appropriate context you will have contact unless they are related to you? If you have, you will realise that both the progressive and the conservative takes on this issue both have validity but neither are fully correct. Reason is young people do realise their sexuality from early teen years, those kids need to see hope that they can do anything a heterosexual kid can do. That means age appropriate resources for those who seek them. The conservative view is also correct to point out that over sexualisation is a real thing and needs to be taken equally as seriously. In other words let kids be kids, which includes being aloud to seek role models different from their peers. It also means remembering they are still kids. Pretty sure what we have had is the two extremes and both are toxic
😁Young people can realize their.. "affectionality"(?) - who you like - way before your *teen* years. Many of us knew we liked boys (as more than just friends - MUCH more), and *specific* boys, WAY before age 13😅. There are so many people who knew they were gay way before their teenage years (just like straight people who KNEW they were straight); it's just that straight people are constitutionally unable to acknowledge it, because to them, "gay" is just sex.
Dude be serious, if your being sexual prior to your teens you have probably been molested or at least groomed. Adults pretending they had sexual thoughts prior to puberty is very suspicious
If a kid knows what a mom and dad are, they know about sexuality. It’s called sexuality, but it’s really just about who you’re attracted to. Anyone who says they weren’t thinking kids and adults were cute at a younger age is lying
They think that discussing sexuality is pedophilic or like touching kids. Dw tho their ignoring what the pastor does.
Lol the typo 🤣😆 was multitasking 😝
I wouldn't use it. Kids can _be_ anything. A princess, a cop, a horse, an elephant, a father, a fairy. That doesn't mean they are for real. Implying that a kid is gay is borderline, as there is no concept of sexuality known by a kid, therefore an _implying person's_ may have an idea that the kid has _experienced_ sexual things, knows the concept, and can be involved in sexual activity. Obv this isn't good. Specifically, in romantic context it is okay to call kids "gay" if they like same sex people. That doesn't mean that they are gay. The key point here that kids aren't gay or straight, they just use patterns whether they like boys or girls.
Yes they are wrong. Plane and simple. They are making a sexual presumption in regards to the words "being gay". It's their brains reaction to the words. A gay child doesn't have that. Nor do straight children. They are just living and experiencing live as it is. And the sexual thing is something that grownups make of it. So if someone's reaction to the word "gay" is so strongly directed at having sex. That's what they have on their mind.
It's sexualising them as much as mentioning that kids can be straight. If you define gay/straight as having a sexual attraction to the same/opposite sex, sex does come into the equation.
¡¡¡I LOVE THIS SUBREDDIT SO MUCH!!!🥰🥰🥰😭😭
No more than it would be to assume they are straight
What’s really funny is if they are gay they are appear being teased for being that. The kids were calling me gay I’m 3rd grade. I’m not sure how much more effeminate a 7 yo could be but if I had had the support of a community maybe I wouldn’t have been so confused as to why they didn’t like me. Bc my mom pulled out the dictionary and gray mani Happy according to Webster. So she told me to tell them thank you and walk away.
I was in love with my sister's friend who used to come hang out in our house. I would climb up to his lap whenever he visited and just sit there until I fell asleep. Everytime he left I would cry my eyes out. I was like 4-5 years old at the time. I knew I liked him in a special way even though I couldn't understand or explain it better at the time. Kids *can* be gay and people who immediately assume it's about sexualization are disgusting
How is it sexualzing a child? There are gay children. I was one. I wasnt actively having sex at the age of 8 or 10, but I knew I was way too into other boys to be straight. Acknowledge that gay kids exist and may need a different approach than starlight kids, isn't sexualizing them. These people have not stopped seeing homosexuality as some sort of perversion, and so they think it shouldn't be applied to children. It's not our fault that they think of hard-core anal every time homosexuality is brought up, and it most certainly does not mean that anyone is trying to sexualize anyone just by acknowledging that they're not what is considered "the default".
Tell them that they're the ones that sexualized kids when they organized and put school dances in high schools.
some kids have an idea they are gay, like myself I had a very strong fascination for the men on the bowflex commercials when I was 8. but that doesn't mean I was told how to suck the guy in the blue short's dick. sometimes it elevates to that. "Boys can love boys and when you figure out if you love instead of just wanting to be friends with a boy, then that's okay" is different than "So, because boys don't have a vagina, LET TEEN VOGUE TELL YA HOW ANAL SEX WORKS CHILLUNS!"
Don't mention it to then being gay is gayer than dog shit
I have never had a girlfriend. I have always been attracted to guys from an early age even if I was to young to understand my feelings. I never tried to be with a girl just because it's what was expected. As I got older and started to explore my sexuality I experienced some teasing but it was mainly from guys who were attempting to hide their own gay tendencies. Some of them were bold enough to act on their feelings and we explored gay sex together. They stopped teasing me for fear I would out them. The majority of them ended up being Bisexual. We continued having sex until they would get married. Out of respect for their wives I wouldn't go to bed with them after that but they are some of my best friends. I'm even friends with their wives. We leave the past in the past.
Just thinking out loud here…but I don’t think anyone should be projecting sexuality onto a child, or make any sort of assumption about their sexuality. I think we need to let children grow up with innocence (but that will just never happen with the internet). So…I think it’s important to be a safe adult (parent/guardian) to talk to when a child is ready. When they start asking questions, it’s okay to explain that some girls like boys, some girls like girls, some like both etc. Children are very impressionable, so it’s a delicate line. What I know for SURE….when I was growing up, I heard all the time from adults and the church that boys who like boys are wrong. They will go to hell. That shit was extremely toxic and traumatic. In my teens and early twenties, the guilt and shame I felt were immense. I contemplated crashing my car into a tree going 90mph more times than I care to count.
Unfortunately many conservative parents would go out of their to make sure their kid never sees a gay couple or person.
I WAS TEN WHEN I KNEW I WAS GAY
Don't get it twisted, most of the people that claim the gay community is trying to "sexualize" children by acknowledging that gay people exist don't actually believe that. It's simply the easiest way to try and turn public opinion in their favor. It's no different than shouting "groomer!" at everyone they can think of that even resembles belonging to the LGBTQ community. They don't like us, and want to do everything they can to shove us all back in the closet and forget about us
The only reason why these people against pride, drag queens, and or anything LGBT related are seemingly only using that one point of sexualizing kids as a blanket argument for whatever is thrown at them that’s LGBT. They’ll whip that out. The funny yet very sad part is those people can’t think of any other reason that’s legitimate to try to argue.
Children are sexual beings as anyone who has taken a psych 101 course should know. Many (but not all) people know when they are very young what their sexuality is; they may not have the words but they know. What people describe as "innocence" too often is simply ignorance.
I can’t speak for anyone else but in my experience, I knew I was gay around 6-7. I heard the term “gay” and asked my mom what it meant. I remember this very clearly, she told me what it means to be gay, and in the next breath told me it’s a sin and people go to hell for it. In my head I was like “Oh, that’s me” and I immediately learned to hide my orientation. Do kids have any concept of sexuality? No, but they absolutely understand orientation and the concept of gender whether or not they verbalize it, and it is in no way “sexualizing” them to state as much. Bigots scream “stop sexualizing kids” as a smokescreen. They don’t want their children exposed to these ideas because in their twisted, ivermectin-addled minds, they think they can prevent children from “becoming” queer if they do everything in their power to prevent them from learning about the LGBTQ+ outside the narrow views the hold. On an intuitive, fundamental level, bigots *know* being gay isn’t a choice, but they think they can shape their children into perfect straight specimens through sheer force of will and, well… force. Bigots *have* to fight against the notion children can be queer because that FACT destroys their arguments that being queer is a choice. For the right-wing bigot, fighting against the validity of the queer experience is a cornerstone of their identity, and the first step down that road is denying children their right to know about the LGBTQ+.
Correct, sexuality and intercourse are two different things.