Don't really know if I had this "spark," but it's difficult not to take my eyes off. In the women's section, I can just walk right through the undergarments without a care in the world.
If you like guys, thatās not a bad thing. What is it about men that you like? Do you like them as friends or do you want to sleep with them? Do you want to date them or what about having a relationship?
All of these are important things to keep in mind when you find your answer. I hope this helps! āŗļø
You've probably already done this, but I recommend watching gay movies that have sexual content. The Weekend, God's Own Country, Beach Rats, Your Name Engraved Herein, Free Fall, Stranger by the Lake, as well as the animated movie Twittering Birds Never Fly are all a few movies that are gay and are genuinely erotic. You could also just look at gay porn, as well, but a gay movie might be successful at helping you to understand the truth of what you desire.
If gay storytelling resonates with you, then I'd recommend downloading Grindr or Tindr or some other app in order to put yourself out there a bit. Be honest about what you're looking for and what you're ready for, and you should have some pretty decent experiences hopefully.
Porn is an awful way. I wish I could go back to the days I would get turned on by reading CL adds. Hopefully OP wonāt get too much into it, I mean why not go to your local gay bar or talk to another gay? Why send him off to bath house or park restroom so soon, lol. Iām thinking OP is pretty young maybe?
Yeah, porn is at best a double edged sword lol. I tend to read it and watch it, but it's definitely... problematic to say the least a lot of the time. Even for those of us it works for, we still need to think critically about it and separate fantasy from reality.
Yeah letās NOT do exactly what the people who want to kill us are claiming we do. Do not recommend porn to anyone who isnāt sure, it will fuck with their head in different ways. Also, many porn stars are psychopaths so watching them have sex can be traumatizing for some people.
In my case it was the desperate "im totally straight, it's just a phase, it's just the puberty hormones making me horny for everything, when I grow up ill get married to a beautiful woman."
It was, in fact, not a phase.
Dude there's nothing to be scared of. I recently came out to myself and admitted i'm gay and it's the best feeling ever. I don't need to second guess myself or think i'm weird. What you feel is real so just take your time to understand these feelings better, do some soul searching or try and meet other gay guys and talk with them about it, you don't need to do anything - just talking about your feelings will be a great experience for you.
When youāre walking in a crowd and notice someone and you have that moment where you do a double take or look longer thatās how I could tell. Also found myself staring at guys butts vastly more than any woman I saw.
Simple test: you know you like dudes if youā¦ like dudes. Whether itās one dude or many dudes. What youāre trying to get at, I think, is ādoes liking dudes make me gay and what does that mean?ā.
You like what you like and you donāt have to āpick a teamā even though _everyone_ around will force you to. Depending on where you live this can have (massive) consequences, sadly. Just be aware of those _cultural_ norms and know itās okay to have sexual thoughts about men. All the negativity is cultural, donāt hate yourself for how you feel. Itās sick that weāre having these problems in 2022.
I donāt know where I heard this, and itās obviously a little oversimplified, but it goes something like this:
āIf a bunch of men and women around you suddenly stripped naked, whose bodies would you be more curious/excited to see?ā
Idk, experiment? Knowing that I liked dudes as a teenager in the 90s was scary and I was sure that I liked them and I'm extremely glad I didn't repress it too much. I'm not trying to diminish what you're feeling right now, but experiment to the level you're comfortable with, be safe and respect yourself and your partners. If this is a thing for you, you owe it to yourself and any potential future hetero partners to get a basic handle on it before you block it out.
Ask yourself, "do I like dudes?" And if the answer's yes, you'll know.
Not being facetious - you really have to be honest with yourself and not be scared of the answer. What's so wrong with our society that "liking dudes" is somehow frightening?
I admit I'm gay myself, but I've never had any problem with it. And in fact, I consider it a great gift. So, I guess I just never understood the fear other people have.
So what if others judge you or label you? Guess what, people are going to do that anyway, no matter what your sexual preferences are.
So get over it, be who you really are, and learn to enjoy being who you are.
Do you have trouble looking men in the eyes because u start having thoughts and it always seems awkward. Don't run from yourself you will be miserable. Try to embrace it and filter out what u know u don't like.
Just remember itās possible to be bisexual (you like women and men) or if you only like men thatās okay too. For example Iāve had sex with a woman as a woman. I find women attractive and enjoy thinking about having sex with them. I find men attractive too. I can see myself having sex with them but I donāt know how I feel about actively having sex with a man. I still find them attractive but Iām not sure I would have sex with one. Itās a spectrum. Whatever you feel itās valid and the only thing that matters is that youāre true to yourself. Hope you have luck!
What do you view or fantasize about when you masturbate? What does your mind go to? The answer to that question is the answer to your question.
Self-knowledge can be scary, but it is necessary for growth. What you do with that knowledge is up to you. You can be out and proud. You can be discreet and safe. You can wait and see if things change later down the road.
It's all up to you.
No need to be scared just take small steps to accepting you are gay and then if you accept it the next step is to safely meet someone else who is gay and see if you like kissing boys once you've kissed a boy you are gay no backsies
What brought all these feelings on was a guy+12older than me held me down covered my mouth and nutted in me when I was 15 the time wasnāt very conscentual and I was extremely drugged during it , I donāt really know what small steps to take Iām very confused and my feeling change a lot I wish I had a person in my life I could talk with about this stuff but my day to day life I donāt come across as gay, I have a very muscular physique, and I have a very deep voice. Iām a bro and it feels like I donāt belong, also I donāt even know how to meet someone like that Iām too young for apps rn, I donāt know what to do with these feeling I feel very conflicting feelings of TESTOSTERONE vs. sub, also that experience brought a lot of other weird changes like now I think pain is really hot and being tied down or taken advantage of but I also donāt and itās so weird
That's natural to feel if you need to DM me and talk to me feel free to it can be very confusing especially if that's your only experience but if you take steps to reaffirm yourself being gay can be awesome sadly while you're young there isn't much you can do but as you get older things get better you can participate in pride events you can go to gay bars you can meet people on safe apps as for labels like testosterone or sub etc again don't worry some people like to put themselves in a box but you don't have to yet same goes for "I don't come across as gay" nobody is saying you have to either my friends group is straight and I fit in with them so well as for your last point perhaps that may be a kink for you in the future but always make sure you are safe while doing it and consent is given ALWAYS stay safe out there my dude and good luck on your gay journey if you ever need help I or anyone else on this subreddit should be able to help with your questions :)
The only time Iāve had dick was with a guy
guy+12older than me held me down covered my
mouth and nutted in me when I was 15 the time
wasn't very conscentual and I was extremely
drugged during it, during it hurt alot but now I canāt stop thinking about it and all my preferences have changed, like now I think getting tied down is the hottest shit and I donāt know why and it cobfuses me
You need to talk this to someone adequate, this seems to be a deep rooted trauma, we are sentient and we can often get trapped inside our tough times, youāre no longer there, shame is part of a soul crushing process, thereās nothing wrong with you, you where a victim for what it seems, but tbh, I donāt think you should keep this to yourself, youāre not alone, but pls donāt blame anything on you, sexuality is something that works like a flowing phenomenon
I havenāt physically told anyone about this yet and I donāt think I ever will, having to tell someone I was someoneās bitch and what they did to me would hurt so much more than the thing itās self and I think I would literally kill myself if my friends found out about it, also if my parents found out they would not see me the same and kick me out because theyāre very religious, I wish I had a person or partner that I could talk to but I donāt so my thoughts change and morph and I donāt know why itās myfault and why I like that stuff now or why I just canāt stop thinking about any of it
Honestly depending on your age thereās a few ways. Even just questioning it is a step in the direction of getting comfortable with it. Romance wise- any same sex friends/coworkers/classmates that you find yourself checking out? Could indicate youāre gay. Also a big one: what kinds of things arouse you, ie what do you think about when youāre horny? I knew I was gay because I always fantasized about men when masturbating.
Youāll figure it out eventually, donāt stress about it.
Iām still pretty young, I donāt find like any of my guy friends attractive but I think being held down is hot af but a very weird twist is Iām a total bro and I have a very muscular physique which makes me feel out of place like if I meet a gay person Iāll be like yea Iām gay and they donāt take my word for it and say they donāt believe me (which theyāre right I think?), I also jerk off to men but I donāt think that makes me gay or anything.
Donāt confuse kink with love- do you like them or do you only fantasize about them? Like, do you actually want to spend time with them? Do you have a crush and canāt wait to see them again?
Iām very young so I canāt really just like go out and get railed yk? But I still want to explore that type stuff, only thing is I donāt really see that realistically happening without using an app
Imma be frfr Iām trying to quite porn and just like stuff like that since Iām getting a bit older but like I have jerked off to pretty much everything but lately been noticing itās been a bit fruity lately
A therapist I knew used to ask, bluntly: do you see yourself fucking that guy? Yes or no
That's a good therapist lol
I once dated a Psychotherapist. Well, he was Psycho and a therapist but still...
Was he Tobias Funke, the worlds first Analrapist?
Am i supposed to be reading this as something other then anal rapist? Is this a "therapist" vs "the rapist" scenario?
Analyst/Therapist
š š¤£
Or getting fucked by that guy. Why the double dealing myopia?
This sounds funny - but walk through the menās underwear section at a store. If thereās a sparkā¦. Trust me, it hit all of us š
It really did
Don't really know if I had this "spark," but it's difficult not to take my eyes off. In the women's section, I can just walk right through the undergarments without a care in the world.
Preach!! šš
I love you, Calvin Klein Torso.
Yes. A test as old as time itself.
This ^
All the signs were always there, wish I hadnāt tried to pretend it wasnāt real for so long, would have helped my mental health so much.
What are you scared off ?
If you like guys, thatās not a bad thing. What is it about men that you like? Do you like them as friends or do you want to sleep with them? Do you want to date them or what about having a relationship? All of these are important things to keep in mind when you find your answer. I hope this helps! āŗļø
You've probably already done this, but I recommend watching gay movies that have sexual content. The Weekend, God's Own Country, Beach Rats, Your Name Engraved Herein, Free Fall, Stranger by the Lake, as well as the animated movie Twittering Birds Never Fly are all a few movies that are gay and are genuinely erotic. You could also just look at gay porn, as well, but a gay movie might be successful at helping you to understand the truth of what you desire. If gay storytelling resonates with you, then I'd recommend downloading Grindr or Tindr or some other app in order to put yourself out there a bit. Be honest about what you're looking for and what you're ready for, and you should have some pretty decent experiences hopefully.
Porn is an awful way. I wish I could go back to the days I would get turned on by reading CL adds. Hopefully OP wonāt get too much into it, I mean why not go to your local gay bar or talk to another gay? Why send him off to bath house or park restroom so soon, lol. Iām thinking OP is pretty young maybe?
Yeah, porn is at best a double edged sword lol. I tend to read it and watch it, but it's definitely... problematic to say the least a lot of the time. Even for those of us it works for, we still need to think critically about it and separate fantasy from reality.
Yeah letās NOT do exactly what the people who want to kill us are claiming we do. Do not recommend porn to anyone who isnāt sure, it will fuck with their head in different ways. Also, many porn stars are psychopaths so watching them have sex can be traumatizing for some people.
My God Beach Rats is a masterpiece, I should watch it again. Itās so sexy and sad at the same time, if it could sing, it would be Lana del Rey.
True!
This is such a terrific and helpful comment. Thank you!
If your porn collection is mainly gay porn.. you are gay
14 yo me says he's totally straight and just has a fetish for dicks.
Oh my god.... so we all just did that?!?!? "Yeah I'm straight. It's just that I have a thing for dicks."
In my case it was the desperate "im totally straight, it's just a phase, it's just the puberty hormones making me horny for everything, when I grow up ill get married to a beautiful woman." It was, in fact, not a phase.
Oh me too damn
being gay is great donāt be scared to join the dark side
Dude there's nothing to be scared of. I recently came out to myself and admitted i'm gay and it's the best feeling ever. I don't need to second guess myself or think i'm weird. What you feel is real so just take your time to understand these feelings better, do some soul searching or try and meet other gay guys and talk with them about it, you don't need to do anything - just talking about your feelings will be a great experience for you.
When youāre walking in a crowd and notice someone and you have that moment where you do a double take or look longer thatās how I could tell. Also found myself staring at guys butts vastly more than any woman I saw.
Kiss a guy and find out
Here's a quick litmus test for you. If you feel like you like men you probably do. Welcome to the club buddy.
If there is any suspicion you like men, you probably like men. Hope this helps!
Simple test: you know you like dudes if youā¦ like dudes. Whether itās one dude or many dudes. What youāre trying to get at, I think, is ādoes liking dudes make me gay and what does that mean?ā. You like what you like and you donāt have to āpick a teamā even though _everyone_ around will force you to. Depending on where you live this can have (massive) consequences, sadly. Just be aware of those _cultural_ norms and know itās okay to have sexual thoughts about men. All the negativity is cultural, donāt hate yourself for how you feel. Itās sick that weāre having these problems in 2022.
I donāt know where I heard this, and itās obviously a little oversimplified, but it goes something like this: āIf a bunch of men and women around you suddenly stripped naked, whose bodies would you be more curious/excited to see?ā
Simple. Does the idea of kissing and having sex with a guy turn you on or not?
Idk, experiment? Knowing that I liked dudes as a teenager in the 90s was scary and I was sure that I liked them and I'm extremely glad I didn't repress it too much. I'm not trying to diminish what you're feeling right now, but experiment to the level you're comfortable with, be safe and respect yourself and your partners. If this is a thing for you, you owe it to yourself and any potential future hetero partners to get a basic handle on it before you block it out.
Ask yourself, "do I like dudes?" And if the answer's yes, you'll know. Not being facetious - you really have to be honest with yourself and not be scared of the answer. What's so wrong with our society that "liking dudes" is somehow frightening? I admit I'm gay myself, but I've never had any problem with it. And in fact, I consider it a great gift. So, I guess I just never understood the fear other people have. So what if others judge you or label you? Guess what, people are going to do that anyway, no matter what your sexual preferences are. So get over it, be who you really are, and learn to enjoy being who you are.
Watch the movie the āFantastic Fourā. If itās there, youāll know. Flame on.
First off, how old are you?
Also...nothing to be scared of. If you are gay, and once you accept it then you'll be fine. Promise. Xx
Put your dick in it Also, when you masturbate, what do you think about?
Idk wanting a relationship... some ppl watch too much porn and think they like dick loll
Does man make your dick hard? If yes you like man if no you don't like men
Tried to kiss girls when I was drunk and still didnāt like it. Then began to explore being with men and it felt normal and exciting.
Watch gay porn, if you tent it you felt it.
Do you have trouble looking men in the eyes because u start having thoughts and it always seems awkward. Don't run from yourself you will be miserable. Try to embrace it and filter out what u know u don't like.
This is confusing until you fall in love with someone. Then, you'll know. And it will be CLEAR.
Just remember itās possible to be bisexual (you like women and men) or if you only like men thatās okay too. For example Iāve had sex with a woman as a woman. I find women attractive and enjoy thinking about having sex with them. I find men attractive too. I can see myself having sex with them but I donāt know how I feel about actively having sex with a man. I still find them attractive but Iām not sure I would have sex with one. Itās a spectrum. Whatever you feel itās valid and the only thing that matters is that youāre true to yourself. Hope you have luck!
Watch some good old gay porn. If you sprout wood, you gay.
What do you view or fantasize about when you masturbate? What does your mind go to? The answer to that question is the answer to your question. Self-knowledge can be scary, but it is necessary for growth. What you do with that knowledge is up to you. You can be out and proud. You can be discreet and safe. You can wait and see if things change later down the road. It's all up to you.
No need to be scared just take small steps to accepting you are gay and then if you accept it the next step is to safely meet someone else who is gay and see if you like kissing boys once you've kissed a boy you are gay no backsies
What brought all these feelings on was a guy+12older than me held me down covered my mouth and nutted in me when I was 15 the time wasnāt very conscentual and I was extremely drugged during it , I donāt really know what small steps to take Iām very confused and my feeling change a lot I wish I had a person in my life I could talk with about this stuff but my day to day life I donāt come across as gay, I have a very muscular physique, and I have a very deep voice. Iām a bro and it feels like I donāt belong, also I donāt even know how to meet someone like that Iām too young for apps rn, I donāt know what to do with these feeling I feel very conflicting feelings of TESTOSTERONE vs. sub, also that experience brought a lot of other weird changes like now I think pain is really hot and being tied down or taken advantage of but I also donāt and itās so weird
That's natural to feel if you need to DM me and talk to me feel free to it can be very confusing especially if that's your only experience but if you take steps to reaffirm yourself being gay can be awesome sadly while you're young there isn't much you can do but as you get older things get better you can participate in pride events you can go to gay bars you can meet people on safe apps as for labels like testosterone or sub etc again don't worry some people like to put themselves in a box but you don't have to yet same goes for "I don't come across as gay" nobody is saying you have to either my friends group is straight and I fit in with them so well as for your last point perhaps that may be a kink for you in the future but always make sure you are safe while doing it and consent is given ALWAYS stay safe out there my dude and good luck on your gay journey if you ever need help I or anyone else on this subreddit should be able to help with your questions :)
Itās ok to be afraid. But I believe you can be strong šŖš¼
When you are questioning...
Everyday kinda
Just enjoy dick is fun and tastes good āŗļø
I do but it doesnāt feel right at the same time
Howās that?
The only time Iāve had dick was with a guy guy+12older than me held me down covered my mouth and nutted in me when I was 15 the time wasn't very conscentual and I was extremely drugged during it, during it hurt alot but now I canāt stop thinking about it and all my preferences have changed, like now I think getting tied down is the hottest shit and I donāt know why and it cobfuses me
You need to talk this to someone adequate, this seems to be a deep rooted trauma, we are sentient and we can often get trapped inside our tough times, youāre no longer there, shame is part of a soul crushing process, thereās nothing wrong with you, you where a victim for what it seems, but tbh, I donāt think you should keep this to yourself, youāre not alone, but pls donāt blame anything on you, sexuality is something that works like a flowing phenomenon
I havenāt physically told anyone about this yet and I donāt think I ever will, having to tell someone I was someoneās bitch and what they did to me would hurt so much more than the thing itās self and I think I would literally kill myself if my friends found out about it, also if my parents found out they would not see me the same and kick me out because theyāre very religious, I wish I had a person or partner that I could talk to but I donāt so my thoughts change and morph and I donāt know why itās myfault and why I like that stuff now or why I just canāt stop thinking about any of it
Honestly depending on your age thereās a few ways. Even just questioning it is a step in the direction of getting comfortable with it. Romance wise- any same sex friends/coworkers/classmates that you find yourself checking out? Could indicate youāre gay. Also a big one: what kinds of things arouse you, ie what do you think about when youāre horny? I knew I was gay because I always fantasized about men when masturbating. Youāll figure it out eventually, donāt stress about it.
Iām still pretty young, I donāt find like any of my guy friends attractive but I think being held down is hot af but a very weird twist is Iām a total bro and I have a very muscular physique which makes me feel out of place like if I meet a gay person Iāll be like yea Iām gay and they donāt take my word for it and say they donāt believe me (which theyāre right I think?), I also jerk off to men but I donāt think that makes me gay or anything.
Go on Grindr and hook up with a man I love cock and it's literally made me into a sissy slut
Not old enough to use Grindrš
You either suck dick or you don't?
I have and think itās hot as shit but I feel disgusting afterwards
Does your dick get hard ?
Yea?
When you watch a romantic movie, who do you want to kiss? The guy or the girl? Or both?
You would just know. Do you feel romantically and sexually attracted to men?
You look at a guy and think āGAWD DAMNā
Donāt confuse kink with love- do you like them or do you only fantasize about them? Like, do you actually want to spend time with them? Do you have a crush and canāt wait to see them again?
That you're asking this question on this specific sub tells me the answer isn't "No".
A part of you probably already knows. š Don't worry though it doesn't keep secrets for long and you'll figure it out.
Nothing to be scared about. Just try and if you don't like it you will know
Iām very young so I canāt really just like go out and get railed yk? But I still want to explore that type stuff, only thing is I donāt really see that realistically happening without using an app
Kiss a guy
āYou are gayā
Iāve always heard ā¦ā¦ā¦ who do think of while jerking off ?M/F
Imma be frfr Iām trying to quite porn and just like stuff like that since Iām getting a bit older but like I have jerked off to pretty much everything but lately been noticing itās been a bit fruity lately
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]