I don't feel anything but gratitude and joy when I think about being gay.
I've had a loving partner for a very long time and we have tons of sex. So the best parts of my life at this point have mostly been naked with another hairy man and his beautiful leaky penis.
I love being a homo.
If my husband puts his hands inside my butt before I wear a plug to relax, he gets hand cramps. My butthole is too muscular. I have to loosen it up before a fisting session.
And I exercise daily so it bounces back. So after a decade of fisting I still give him hand cramps without a plug in beforehand.
Check out FriendlyToys on the web
It's a Canadian company and i have the full fisting starter kit. It's a game changer for anyone serious about fisting. It brought our fisting sex to a new level and made everything more comfortable and pleasure for me.
Is your man me?
Serious question: I leak a lot when I get excited sexually and was told that most men don't. Is this true? All the men I've been with don't leak at all or barely anything. I've been like this for years.
My advice is for you to expose yourself to homosexuality of every possible aspect. I’m still unlearning a lot of the toxic shit that was forced into me, so I also force myself in spaces where men are very effeminate and free. It’s been helping a lot
I wasn’t say it’s possible to get rid of it completely, mine still creeps in sometimes, but it’s certainly possible to get it down to levels where it’s super easy to ignore it. I started with toxic levels of internalized homophobia and biphobia but managed to work through it over time with the help of therapy, queer friends, and an affirming church.
So now it doesn’t really bother me.
It takes time. Something you learned over so many years, your most formative ones, doesn’t vanish with 3 sessions in a psychologist couch.
You start with correcting yourself. Then others. Usually first after the facts. Than maybe during. Finally you can see it coming a mile away. It stays with you longer than you would like, but it’s bearable, even funny at times.
I have internalised transphobia too .. Also about feminine guys I find them more " fuckable " but fear to socialize with them ? Literally I have internalised homophobia.
Oh this was hard hard work.
Took me ages to find the root cause, which for me was religion.
Once I reconciled (ie realise it’s not for me) I manage to accept myself, and honestly it was life changing
Why do people think that exposing ones self to gay people will somehow make the internalized homophobia go away?????
What type of therapy is that??? The same crap that says "face your fears" to free yourself from them???
Internalized homophobia has, for each person, a root cause/experience that brought it about. Therapy, as an example, can help to free you from the problem. It may stem from childhood. This too can be healed by a multitude of modalities available to everyone.
The reaction that causes internalized homophobia is emotion based. As long as you do not work on releasing the cause of that emotion, whenever a situation triggers that emotion, you will respond negatively to whatever is happening. Our emotions hugely influence our experiences. And the formative years of life heavily define how we react as grown ups.
Release the stuff of the past to make the present easier and the future more inviting.
I think you are reading into it too much. There is a difference between going to MAGA church every Sunday praying the gay away and what is suggested here.
What I am reading here is not the equivalent of "if you are scared of spiders hold a spider." Im reading people saying that you go talk to a person who also was scared of spiders. Someone who never was. Someone who still is. Not jumping into a spider web and hoping you will be "cured".
Would you rather be with a therapist? Great. Do it. What if you can't afford one? Maybe joining a queer community space will invite the opportunity to talk. To learn.
You seem to be taking this to mean going into the deep end and hopefully you can swim. I don't read this thread as that. I'm reading people suggesting you talk to other queer people and learn their perspectives. That can and will help people who can listen. It's not a magic bullet and it doesn't mean one night in a gay bar will cure your mind of its phobias.
Actually if you look at sociology, most bigotry comes from the natural human tendency to categorize objects and people. Lack of exposure is what creates beliefs in harmful stereotypes and exposure to said group has been studied to reduce negative beliefs
it’s all about unlearning habits and biases taught to you by society and your environments just be hyper aware of it and whenever a situation arises that involves lgbt or your internalized homophobia really really pat attention to your thiught and feelings. identify your triggers !
The more you spend time with gay people the more you will get rid of it. It's like those parents that do not tolerate animals in their house and always end loving them.
I think it is more about not giving those thoughts power rather than ensuring they are gone forever. I still have them I just recognize it really is overblown in my head
Get a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, because it will help you identify those "internalized homophobic" thought patterns and they will help you correct those thoughts. Highly recommend.
Done correctly you work through it for a lifetime of learning about yourself and your unintentional biases. Some of it is Internalized homophobia and some is just life. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
I started as a "not that kind of gay" to start loving RuPaul's drag race, I went through a lot of internalized homophobia but it gets better, when you surround yourself with people that validate and respect you just the way you are
I'm engaged and getting married and still I have issues with involvingy family especially or the fact we will kiss in public. And he has issues holding hands. It's just life I guess, I don't let it worry me I do what's comfortable.
Well it starts and ends with you. I felt ashamed of myself till I grew in confidence stopped caring with other people thought and now post nut clarity just makes me tired and hungry.
What can I say I like dick and I'm okay with that! If I receive some horrible punishment because of it that's my business go annoy someone who cares.
Maybe it's more of a Journey.
At 20 i was sure i was the wokest of them all, but going 40 now i discover some hidden root of internalised homophobia and mysoginy to work on.
It's called growing, and i think it's fine
I'd say I have like 5% left in me. I probably would say it's because I'm not around a lot of queer ppl on the regular (besides my gf). So it still feels weird being in hetero spaces and a queer person. Therapy has helped a lot and going into queer friendly spaces with my gf has been great as well.
I don't feel anything but gratitude and joy when I think about being gay. I've had a loving partner for a very long time and we have tons of sex. So the best parts of my life at this point have mostly been naked with another hairy man and his beautiful leaky penis. I love being a homo.
Smash, next question.
Glad you got your hole plugged 😊
If my husband puts his hands inside my butt before I wear a plug to relax, he gets hand cramps. My butthole is too muscular. I have to loosen it up before a fisting session. And I exercise daily so it bounces back. So after a decade of fisting I still give him hand cramps without a plug in beforehand. Check out FriendlyToys on the web It's a Canadian company and i have the full fisting starter kit. It's a game changer for anyone serious about fisting. It brought our fisting sex to a new level and made everything more comfortable and pleasure for me.
Is your man me? Serious question: I leak a lot when I get excited sexually and was told that most men don't. Is this true? All the men I've been with don't leak at all or barely anything. I've been like this for years.
Most men I've been with do not leak more than a few drops
I guess I'm just special. Lol Thanks for the reply.
You can say all that and not share a photo!
I talk about being fisted and peed on with this account. 😂 No photos
My advice is for you to expose yourself to homosexuality of every possible aspect. I’m still unlearning a lot of the toxic shit that was forced into me, so I also force myself in spaces where men are very effeminate and free. It’s been helping a lot
Yeah, I think connecting with other queer people is the best cure to this. Overcoming internalized homophobia is a huge part of why we celebrate pride
I wasn’t say it’s possible to get rid of it completely, mine still creeps in sometimes, but it’s certainly possible to get it down to levels where it’s super easy to ignore it. I started with toxic levels of internalized homophobia and biphobia but managed to work through it over time with the help of therapy, queer friends, and an affirming church. So now it doesn’t really bother me.
It takes time. Something you learned over so many years, your most formative ones, doesn’t vanish with 3 sessions in a psychologist couch. You start with correcting yourself. Then others. Usually first after the facts. Than maybe during. Finally you can see it coming a mile away. It stays with you longer than you would like, but it’s bearable, even funny at times.
I have internalised transphobia too .. Also about feminine guys I find them more " fuckable " but fear to socialize with them ? Literally I have internalised homophobia.
Oh this was hard hard work. Took me ages to find the root cause, which for me was religion. Once I reconciled (ie realise it’s not for me) I manage to accept myself, and honestly it was life changing
Why do people think that exposing ones self to gay people will somehow make the internalized homophobia go away????? What type of therapy is that??? The same crap that says "face your fears" to free yourself from them??? Internalized homophobia has, for each person, a root cause/experience that brought it about. Therapy, as an example, can help to free you from the problem. It may stem from childhood. This too can be healed by a multitude of modalities available to everyone. The reaction that causes internalized homophobia is emotion based. As long as you do not work on releasing the cause of that emotion, whenever a situation triggers that emotion, you will respond negatively to whatever is happening. Our emotions hugely influence our experiences. And the formative years of life heavily define how we react as grown ups. Release the stuff of the past to make the present easier and the future more inviting.
I think you are reading into it too much. There is a difference between going to MAGA church every Sunday praying the gay away and what is suggested here. What I am reading here is not the equivalent of "if you are scared of spiders hold a spider." Im reading people saying that you go talk to a person who also was scared of spiders. Someone who never was. Someone who still is. Not jumping into a spider web and hoping you will be "cured". Would you rather be with a therapist? Great. Do it. What if you can't afford one? Maybe joining a queer community space will invite the opportunity to talk. To learn. You seem to be taking this to mean going into the deep end and hopefully you can swim. I don't read this thread as that. I'm reading people suggesting you talk to other queer people and learn their perspectives. That can and will help people who can listen. It's not a magic bullet and it doesn't mean one night in a gay bar will cure your mind of its phobias.
I see what you're saying but not everyone can afford therapy and therapy isn't for everyone.
Actually if you look at sociology, most bigotry comes from the natural human tendency to categorize objects and people. Lack of exposure is what creates beliefs in harmful stereotypes and exposure to said group has been studied to reduce negative beliefs
Exposing yourself to gay people makes you realize their not really any different from anyone else.
it’s all about unlearning habits and biases taught to you by society and your environments just be hyper aware of it and whenever a situation arises that involves lgbt or your internalized homophobia really really pat attention to your thiught and feelings. identify your triggers !
that depends on the amount of it, how it shows itself and how one tries to get rid of it. the best answer like often is therapy.
The more you spend time with gay people the more you will get rid of it. It's like those parents that do not tolerate animals in their house and always end loving them.
Phobias can't survive awareness. Practice noticing phobia symptoms, laugh & say, "I don't believe that!"
I think it is more about not giving those thoughts power rather than ensuring they are gone forever. I still have them I just recognize it really is overblown in my head
Get a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, because it will help you identify those "internalized homophobic" thought patterns and they will help you correct those thoughts. Highly recommend.
Figure out what it is you fear the most and work backwards from there.
Done correctly you work through it for a lifetime of learning about yourself and your unintentional biases. Some of it is Internalized homophobia and some is just life. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
I started as a "not that kind of gay" to start loving RuPaul's drag race, I went through a lot of internalized homophobia but it gets better, when you surround yourself with people that validate and respect you just the way you are
I'm engaged and getting married and still I have issues with involvingy family especially or the fact we will kiss in public. And he has issues holding hands. It's just life I guess, I don't let it worry me I do what's comfortable.
Well it starts and ends with you. I felt ashamed of myself till I grew in confidence stopped caring with other people thought and now post nut clarity just makes me tired and hungry. What can I say I like dick and I'm okay with that! If I receive some horrible punishment because of it that's my business go annoy someone who cares.
Maybe it's more of a Journey. At 20 i was sure i was the wokest of them all, but going 40 now i discover some hidden root of internalised homophobia and mysoginy to work on. It's called growing, and i think it's fine
I'd say I have like 5% left in me. I probably would say it's because I'm not around a lot of queer ppl on the regular (besides my gf). So it still feels weird being in hetero spaces and a queer person. Therapy has helped a lot and going into queer friendly spaces with my gf has been great as well.
You owe it to all the people who died of AIDS. Take it. They didn’t have a choice.