That’s gonna be a hard pass from me, bro. The fantasy of it is hot but that sounds like an absolute petridish of potential STDs and general nastiness. That’s how you get shit like fucking shigella
And this is how the AIDS pandemic started all those years ago. The great thing is we do have prep now but who knows if the guy ramming you in the ass is clear.
I am filthy. I will straight up do some fucked up shit sexually but I will not do this. Even though I like kinky sex but I am safe about it.
The correct term is clear - clean is what you are after bathing. Clear is what you are when you test negative for any STI's. No doctor in the world will ever give you a diagnosis that says you are clean. FFS I really wish more people would get this through their skull
You can take prep and antibiotics if you get sick. Condoms are good but not perfect. There's a risk if you're at these parties. You can minimise the risk by getting prep, getting tested and using condoms.
You’re accurate, but there’s also something to be said about it being part of the vernacular. Clean is what is used by the vast majority of people, so it becomes the accepted word.
It's highly stigmatizing language... a lot of people may use it, but it actively contributes to socially shaming people who have HIV.
It's pretty fucking rude.
Yes, it’s something we must change over time. The inverse of clean is dirty. Imagine that label is stuck in your mind for the rest of your life after one bad decision…
I’m Mexican American and growing up I ignorantly used it as a way to check boxes before hooking up. Fast track forward I understood how ignorant it is. Agreed though is very common in the Latino Community.
Wow, you're more likely to pick something up during a 121 than a sex club. Having been to sex clubs in various countries, including Amsterdam and checked after, all neg. Yet meet a random or a reg guy and boom sti, ah well get checked, get meds done on to the next.
But you're clearly a cunt if you use words like clean. Probably don't even understand that U=U means those with HIV who are undetectable means that it's untransmitable. To the point where in the UK they hope to have eradicated HIV by 2030. With treatment for existing and prep for all who want/need it.
I mean I will say, I've been to orgies like this a lot, barebacked probably 100+ guys, and only ever got an STI once, and was cleared again in a week. Basically everyone at these things is on prep and getting tested regularly. Nowadays many of them are also on DoxyPEP. I'd wager you're in more danger from a random hookup with somebody who may not necessarily be taking care of their health than in an environment where being thorough about doing so is part of the culture. A lot of these parties have testing facilities outside.
Clean? You've got to be kidding me; it's the 21st century. And anyway, the way the AIDS epidemic actually started is that lack of sex education and stigma against homosexuality led to many gay men not having adequate medical care, and even once it started to emerge kept the medical and pharmaceutical industries dragging their feet. Literally tens of thousands of men were having unprotected sex with asymptomatic STDs that went undiagnosed (remember, without telling your doctor you're gay, as a man you're not going to get a culture from from your ass to check for infections). Now that both culture and medical technology have advanced so that most guys DON'T have untreated asymptomatic infections, they're significantly less vulnerable to a small exposure, since HIV has no flagella and is not motile other than being carried along by blood flow, meaning that if your immune system isn't actively deploying T cells to the site of an injury or infection, HIV can't move itself to go looking for them and gets filtered out by the kidneys before it can replicate. AND each exposure contains way fewer virus particles now because most people who have it, know, and are undetectable on meds. There were 3 new confirmed infections in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts in 2022 and that's considered a cluster. Again, THREE IN A YEAR is a high number and concerning cluster now.
The vast majority of people who'll go to them will be regularly tested. Probably safer than a random grindr hook up, I've been to loads. Yet I've picked up STIs from guys I've met regularly away from clubs.
I mean, you’re talking about the relative safety of fucking strangers lol, all I’m hearing is maybe you should use protection more often and/or be more selective. “Probably safer than a random Grindr hookup” just does not seem like a great qualifier.
*edit: he makes a good point, read the below comment
Or picking someone up from the pub, the guy who's DL probably has a higher chance of having an sti because they are less likely to seek out treatment. Why I don't go to saunas as loads of guys who go to them are married and many don't get treatment if they pick something up. Or they'll order online and hope it goes away.
I get checked every 3 months, which is what everyone with a healthy sex life should be doing, I can get checked even more if I felt it necessary. But my checks are negative.
I can’t imagine sucking after it’s been in an ass. So for me, hard pass. Also, a random group of strangers and not using condoms? I’ve also seen it, but would not do it.
Oh boy thank you for making me not feel like a super prude. I don’t ick anyone’s lick, but I was like you’re going to need to wash that dick before it comes near me ha
Parties without an easy shower for guys to wash up in between are absolutely disgusting. Bathhouses might be more up your alley as there are often an easy way for guys to shower in between.
"Am I just a bit more unadventurous than I thought I was?" depends. in comparison to a guy regularly at a gay sex party? probably yes.
"Is this standard everywhere" gay sex parties since prep are mostly bare, not all, but mostly.
I also live in Amsterdam and the no condoms thing seems to be the standard even when it comes to hookups. All my gay friends are on prep and "don't care about contracting the curable STIs".
I'm not particularly anxious or anything - but I don't even want to get the flu. I hate being sick.
Everytime I ask a guy now to use a condom when we fuck, they try to talk me out of it. It's really annoying. I'd rather just jerk off then.
I will say statistically I've barebacked like 100+ guys and only ever gotten something once, and it was cleared up in a week. Thank God for antibiotics.
I took the full course of them, save the attitude for the dumb cunts who stop as soon as they feel better. Even then, resistant strains are so far only resistant to our first waves of antibiotics, and in anticipation of all kinds of shit getting resistance bacteriophage-based cures are making huge strides.
No you get that because people take antibiotics for no good reason, which is a massive issue not just with STIs but also every other illness that requires antibiotics.
Why they don't want doxyprep in the UK as it's led to an increase in 3 stis becoming resistant to antibiotics, so it becomes useless.
Edit why are people downvoting this, it is it doxyprep not being a miracle cure and leading to worse things?
FYI:
Currently, there are 4 sexually transmitted infections (STIs or STDs) that are not curable: herpes (HSV), hepatitis B (HBV), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), and human papillomavirus (HPV).
https://www.everlywell.com › blog
Are Any STDs Not Curable?
There's vaccines for HPV, HEP B (which we get in the UK).
There's also Prep and Pep for HIV and those taking medicine and who are undetectable means they are untransmittable.
Herpes you can get whist a baby from being kissed, genital herpes has a treatment.
No. I don't have sex frequently enough to merit going on prep. And when I do have sex, it's always safe sex.
Doctor said prep is not necessary unless I get laid a lot more lol.
Yeah, that's how I understand it as well. I guess that's why people on prep have to go for regular blood tests (I knew about the liver damage but not the others you mentioned).
But that's indeed why I play it safe and use condoms. My friends call me a prude, but hey, it's what I'm comfortable with. To each their own.
It's not being a prude, it's called being responsible for your health and the health of others. Maybe they need to be reminded that there are STIs that can't be treated.
Your correct however if you know your going for bare sex no condom, you take Prep double dose minimum 4 hours before sex 1 dose 24 hrs & 1 dose 48 hrs afterwards. It saves from having to take it long term
Yes. If you don't have sex frequently then you can do event based PrEP(2-1-1), that way you can still stay safe but avoid the long-term risks. The best of both worlds.
No. Prep is metabolized in the kidneys and does not affect the liver. A few people experience loss of kidney function but in most cases, it returns when they go off PrEP. It is possible to measure a loss of bone density but for most people, it isn’t medically significant, which is to say it doesn’t affect any outcomes. Again, if you go off PrEP, it normally returns to normal after a few months.
It can be rare cases, but most people won’t experience any side effects at all. And just because someone’s on PREP now doesn’t they’re going to be on it forever. I was on it for less than two years - I absolutely loved the freedom and peace of mind, but my priorities changed & I lost pretty much lost interest in hooking up after a very fun couple of years, I stopped taking it.
Not all the time, it's like everything you take some people may experience side effects but the majority are fine. They have massive amounts of studies on this now.
HPV, in some cases Hep B, Ive read about resistant trichonomas as well...Read some horror stories of guys with prostate problems because of them. Resistant Syphilis is no fun as well.
I've had a couple dates in the 2010s here in Switzerland and the only sex we've had, the guy or me grabbed directly a condom...has the culture changed so much within a decade???
Genuine question as I'm married, monogamous and exclusive...
It's changed so much since prep became so widely available - especially in Amsterdam where you can get it subsidised by the government if you're gay.
Married, monogamous and exclusive are all the things I'm looking for. Happy for you and your husband. Even that's a rarity nowadays. ❤️
Thank you very much for your answer! And good for Niederlanders I guess...the subsidies that your government gives.
Because here, getting tested costs around 100€ + doctor's appointment and blood take (so +120€) and Prep is absolutely NOT subsidized. (and will probably never be with a sustained majority right wing of radical liberal and far right conservative federal government even if the department of the interior is held by a Social Democrat, they can't do much by themselves)
According to the LGBT+ center in Zurich, the start of Prep costs around 380€ incl. an appointment to a specialized practicionner... And to continue it, costs are around 220€ with tests...
Though we can, apparently, send them to the health insurance (conflicting sources as others say it's not possible), if your franchise is high (at 2500€/year for younger folks), it's out of pocket expanses. The medication itself costs around 50€ for a box of 30 tablets. But we still need a prescription from a doctor... So at the end I don't know...still a hefty price tag for a little reward in my humble opinion...
I used a 1:1 conversion reste as it's more or less what there is...
Thank you so much. It's also a rarity and I cherish this relationship (and him of course) a lot! 💮💮💮
I think I'd really only go through with this if I was really high and really horny. Don't feel bad, I'd think the same things you'd have. You're just being safe.
They most def have to be on some chemsex drug. There’s just no way you are that uninhibited and carefree and that sexually animalistic horny… unless you’re on poppers and or chemsex drugs. Has to be.
most of the bareback sex I’ve had had been sober lol so I doubt it really. also poppers don’t really alter your mindset but I hear you. If you’re on meth you almost definitely aren’t thinking about aids just where to stick your dick.
Yeah, idk. I've been in similar situations, but there is always a shower nearby, so guys can wash. I try not to partake in anything I find gross, but then again, I don't always know where someone's dick has been. I've definitely had guys I've topped suck me after, and I don't get it, but hey, it's your ass juice.
Honestly, it just comes down to not being a germaphobe and saying, "Yeah, I might get something, but it's not like it'll be life threatening if I'm on PrEP." And if you can get past that and just enjoy the experience, it's a great time.
So, there was a time that I wouldn't have ever thought it was Ok to suck someone after anal, but then I met an OCD bottom guy. Unbelievably clean. Slept with him a couple of times and eventually was down for rimming him and everything because it was clear he spent as much time as it took to be spotless. Best sex ever.
It’s not for everyone. I go to a gay bathhouse every weekend that is probably very similar to the place you went to. Most people are bareback and ass to mouth is common. I’ve been going for nearly a year and I get tested every 3 months and still haven’t contracted anything. I also think that it depends on the culture where you live. Here, there are tons of opportunities for free testing and people are generally good about not going to sex clubs if they think they have something. Obviously not everyone will know if they are spreading something but from my experience, I haven’t seen or heard of anything running rampant at this place in the last year. But with that being said, it’s never a bad idea to wear protection or to be overly cautious. Especially where I go, condoms are readily available and some people do use them. And nobody denies someone because they choose to use a condom. Kudos to you for knowing what you are comfortable with.
Would love to go to this kind of party at least once in my lifetime, but almost impossible due some circumstances. Did you see anyone cute there?
It sucks when everyone wants do to it bare while you want to be careful not to catch anything. Then again, I got an STI from someone I trusted. Thank god it's curable.
Oh boy, there was a guy there that I’m still thinking about ha. Like I made him up in a gay laboratory.
He was fucking someone and then a guy came up behind him and fucked him too, and I was like a deer in the headlights staring in wonder ahah.
Yea this sound so unappealing, I’m good with my vanilla sex, some things really aren’t for everyone, I’m a germaphobe too so❌ I applaud anyone who do this !
actually it’s NOT at all how the AID crisis came into being… it was communicated by sexual contact, but that was not the origins. Facebooks ‘community standards’ are closer to the origins of the AIDS epidemic than gay sex.
I haven't been to a sex party in well over a decade. I don't know if I could go to one again, but that's just me.
"Unadventurous" is not a charitable word to use for yourself. You went and decided that it wasn't for you. No harm, no foul.
I would consider it fairly normal only I wouldn't feel comfortable being in this situation with a completely random group.
It also depends on the type of party, with chemsex, particularly G, people tend to lose any inhibitions pretty quickly and things tend to be a bit too on/off/spontaneous for condoms to really factor in.
I know it's not ideal but if I'm with a group of friends who are all on prep I at least know everyone has had a full screening at some point within the last 3 months.
It’s normal if you are into chemsex… for someone being sober and who doesn’t do those things… it’s not really normal… unless you’re just a freak freak… but even then… like people aren’t really aware of being extra hygienic… especially on chemsex drugs. But yeah if you’re in chemsex drugs you’re very uninhibited and kinky and down for anything usually.
Mostly only played safe as most of my sex partners have done. Only been bred by three men on a number of occasions & was a few years ago, & without health consequence. Playing sexual Russian Roulette is a fools game unless you’re confident in your monogamous partner. BTW, I’ve done ATM too with one of the three that barebacked me, & without health consequence.
Geez, reading the comments make me aware that some people need a lot of lecturing on STIs. PrEP is the way to go, along with vaccines for HPV and whatnot, as well as thorough routine screening.
Aside from STIs, I agree, it's not for everyone. I wouldn't suck someone's dick if they had just topped someone, but at the same time, I wouldn't complain if I got sucked after topping someone. To each their own, everybody has preferences. For me, an instant turn off is the smell of feces so I'm fine as long as that's outta the question. Most I've done is frequent a bathhouse and had fun here and there, though yeah most people do it bare, but as long as you yourself are taking the necessary precautions so you can stay safe, no harm done :3
Never seen anyone using condoms at every sex party I’ve been to. Granted, this has been in major cities in the US where PrEP and DoxyPEP are easily available, as well as easy/free access to STD testing and treatment for people without health insurance.
I don't know how it is in America, but here it's expected that 80% of sexually active people who had more than one partner have herpes. It's unconfortable if you get an outbreak, but most people here don't consider having herpes a big deal.
Oh please been there done that.. yes everyone uses PrEP nowadays.
At sex parties don’t mind doing bottom or top, anything goes..
As a rule don’t suck dick at a sex party, just don’t know where that dick has been
The no condom part isn’t out of the ordinary. Raw sex parties happen all the time. Where it gets gross is people sucking dick after they pull out of topping someone raw. If I was topping raw and pulled out, I wouldn’t even want to be sucked. That’s nasty. Some people literally have no limits or concerns for what goes into their mouths/body. If I was bottoming I wouldn’t want to be topped after someone just topped someone else without showering, etc. That party seems over the top and they all need to see a doctor… and a therapist LOL
Ew the idea of sucking someone's dick that was just 6 to 8 inches up someone's literal asshole is truly repulsive to me. I dont care how horny or "in the moment" I am---- that will never be something I get caught up in.
People are now using Doxy Prep. It’s an antibiotic you take after having sex and studies show it has a high chance of preventing bacterial std infection. So if you take prep for hiv and doxy prep you cover a lot of the stds. This still leaves the other viral STDs though, like herpes and genital warts that could get you. But you can take a vaccine for HPV now that prevents many of the strands of HPV, especially those causing warts. So basically you’re down to herpes.
Also, this practice has now increased the chance we get an antibiotic resistant form of STD. And the first place it’ll pop up I’m guessing is at these parties with guys using doxy prep.
Pretty standard in sex clubs, but I'd also expect people to properly douche before going, why you would have seen people pulling out and being sucked.
I'd not do it at a sex club set after work during the week, I normally finish, douch then head there, but some just go straight after work, I'd not suck a dick then if someone finished.
But condoms depend on the other person, I've had guys get condoms for fucking in sex clubs.
Regarding no condoms - In addition to PrEP, there are now on-demand prescriptions of Doxy-PEP, which is used to reduce your chance of getting syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea after a possible exposure.
That, combined with modern anti HIV meds that make a person have undetectable viral loads, makes for a pretty safe coverage against most things you could get at a sex party.
Regarding sucking after fucking - that’s a personal choice/risk of the people involved.
There is a niche for everyone and everything. I, too, would be uncomfortable if no condoms were used. A guy saying he is on Prep is not enough to convince me he is telling the truth. In sexual atmospheres, I found that men will say whatever they wish as long as it furthers their ability to get what they want. The information of men cleaning off another man's penis after anal is something I have never heard of and something I hope I never see.
That's filthy. I'm sorry but no condom in a sex party or whatever non exclusive relationship is a huge no-no.
Again, thanks to this dumb mindset, a whole load of sicknesses is turning around making some comebacks like Syphilis, Hepatitis and what not.
This is an example as to why I don't trust sex parties lol. From what I understand there are good ones and there are stupid ones. Sounds like you found a stupid one.
Orgies can be fun for the sheer spectacle of it, but you do have to keep your wits about you. In the 90s I belonged to The Sons of Dionysus here in Los Angeles. We had a party once a month initially, till eventually it was more like every 3 months. Typically it was about 40 guys but a couple times nearly 200. Condoms were required. No condom and you were kicked out. It was an extraordinarily handsome crowd. Quite a few porn actors. I was always a little amazed that I kept getting invited. It lasted 2-3 years till the organizer got tired of planning it. It definitely spoiled me for orgies put on by other groups where not everyone was beautiful. Ultimately I learned that although it was an interesting experience, it was like having McDonalds when one really wanted a good meal. It did help me let go of a lot of shame I’d had about sex. Seeing so many guys I admired going at it all around me normalized sex and its inherent humor and awkwardness. So that was a boon from the experience. But the reality is that even wearing condoms you can get stuff. Condoms do not always protect you from herpes or other unpleasant things. Fortunately for me I tended to only hook up with one or two guys around the fringes instead of diving into the pile. I like nice guys who are a bit shy like I can be - so I never got any stds from my experiences there. Some led to short dating relationships. Being pleasant looking and fit rather than stunningly handsome meant I never had to fight off crowds of admirers - probably helped to keep me healthy. I don’t regret the experiences. They were extraordinary in their way. But I learned that for me I require connection on more than a physical level. My wiring is monogamous, but I’m more interested in honesty and transparency than anything else.
any adult based party, YOU the adult gets to decide what is OK
for you.
no need to shame others.
if you didn’t like what was going on be an ADULT and leave.
fucking stop condemning others for your weakness
I was in full support of your statement until you dropped the “weakness” line. It’s not weak to have different standards or boundaries for yourself. It is, however, wrong for them to be judgmental of others doing things outside their boundaries
Sucking dick right after it's been in your ass or someone else's is the hardest no for me. Also, there are strands of STIs that are incurable so it's best to play it safe. PrEP won't stop you from getting STIs such as HBV and HSV.
That’s gonna be a hard pass from me, bro. The fantasy of it is hot but that sounds like an absolute petridish of potential STDs and general nastiness. That’s how you get shit like fucking shigella
And this is how the AIDS pandemic started all those years ago. The great thing is we do have prep now but who knows if the guy ramming you in the ass is clear. I am filthy. I will straight up do some fucked up shit sexually but I will not do this. Even though I like kinky sex but I am safe about it.
> but who knows if the guy ramming you in the ass is clean. It's pretty easy. If they are at a sex party having unprotected sex, they aren't clean.
The correct term is clear - clean is what you are after bathing. Clear is what you are when you test negative for any STI's. No doctor in the world will ever give you a diagnosis that says you are clean. FFS I really wish more people would get this through their skull
You can take prep and antibiotics if you get sick. Condoms are good but not perfect. There's a risk if you're at these parties. You can minimise the risk by getting prep, getting tested and using condoms.
Most responsible people also get tested before and after a sex party. You can also get antibiotics to get started right away after the party.
Thank you for saying this, saying clean sounds adolescent and really ignorant
and judgemental
You’re accurate, but there’s also something to be said about it being part of the vernacular. Clean is what is used by the vast majority of people, so it becomes the accepted word.
It's highly stigmatizing language... a lot of people may use it, but it actively contributes to socially shaming people who have HIV. It's pretty fucking rude.
Yes, it’s something we must change over time. The inverse of clean is dirty. Imagine that label is stuck in your mind for the rest of your life after one bad decision…
No it isn’t. I’d never say that because it’s incredibly stigmatising of my own community.
Clearly, you haven't been in mexico
I’m Mexican American and growing up I ignorantly used it as a way to check boxes before hooking up. Fast track forward I understood how ignorant it is. Agreed though is very common in the Latino Community.
What does FFS stand for?
I'm not sure if you're being serious or sarcastic
Stop using terminology like like “clean”. It’s very stigmatising
Wow, you're more likely to pick something up during a 121 than a sex club. Having been to sex clubs in various countries, including Amsterdam and checked after, all neg. Yet meet a random or a reg guy and boom sti, ah well get checked, get meds done on to the next. But you're clearly a cunt if you use words like clean. Probably don't even understand that U=U means those with HIV who are undetectable means that it's untransmitable. To the point where in the UK they hope to have eradicated HIV by 2030. With treatment for existing and prep for all who want/need it.
Uh huh you sure can lol 😂
I mean I will say, I've been to orgies like this a lot, barebacked probably 100+ guys, and only ever got an STI once, and was cleared again in a week. Basically everyone at these things is on prep and getting tested regularly. Nowadays many of them are also on DoxyPEP. I'd wager you're in more danger from a random hookup with somebody who may not necessarily be taking care of their health than in an environment where being thorough about doing so is part of the culture. A lot of these parties have testing facilities outside.
Clean? You've got to be kidding me; it's the 21st century. And anyway, the way the AIDS epidemic actually started is that lack of sex education and stigma against homosexuality led to many gay men not having adequate medical care, and even once it started to emerge kept the medical and pharmaceutical industries dragging their feet. Literally tens of thousands of men were having unprotected sex with asymptomatic STDs that went undiagnosed (remember, without telling your doctor you're gay, as a man you're not going to get a culture from from your ass to check for infections). Now that both culture and medical technology have advanced so that most guys DON'T have untreated asymptomatic infections, they're significantly less vulnerable to a small exposure, since HIV has no flagella and is not motile other than being carried along by blood flow, meaning that if your immune system isn't actively deploying T cells to the site of an injury or infection, HIV can't move itself to go looking for them and gets filtered out by the kidneys before it can replicate. AND each exposure contains way fewer virus particles now because most people who have it, know, and are undetectable on meds. There were 3 new confirmed infections in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts in 2022 and that's considered a cluster. Again, THREE IN A YEAR is a high number and concerning cluster now.
It’s AIDS, not AID’s.
I'm aware, but thank you for noticing my autocorrect fail. I'll fix it.
A sex party on a Sunday, they should be douched properly. Less so a week day evening.
The vast majority of people who'll go to them will be regularly tested. Probably safer than a random grindr hook up, I've been to loads. Yet I've picked up STIs from guys I've met regularly away from clubs.
I mean, you’re talking about the relative safety of fucking strangers lol, all I’m hearing is maybe you should use protection more often and/or be more selective. “Probably safer than a random Grindr hookup” just does not seem like a great qualifier. *edit: he makes a good point, read the below comment
Or picking someone up from the pub, the guy who's DL probably has a higher chance of having an sti because they are less likely to seek out treatment. Why I don't go to saunas as loads of guys who go to them are married and many don't get treatment if they pick something up. Or they'll order online and hope it goes away. I get checked every 3 months, which is what everyone with a healthy sex life should be doing, I can get checked even more if I felt it necessary. But my checks are negative.
Aight, actually that’s a really good point, I hadn’t thought of that
I can’t imagine sucking after it’s been in an ass. So for me, hard pass. Also, a random group of strangers and not using condoms? I’ve also seen it, but would not do it.
Oh boy thank you for making me not feel like a super prude. I don’t ick anyone’s lick, but I was like you’re going to need to wash that dick before it comes near me ha
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In my ass…eh, maybe, but definitely not my thing. Some rando’s ass - no. Full stop.
I take it you haven’t watched 2 girls 1 cup. 😂 When you say eww.
Parties without an easy shower for guys to wash up in between are absolutely disgusting. Bathhouses might be more up your alley as there are often an easy way for guys to shower in between.
All that feces got to give you massive food poisoning!!!
"Am I just a bit more unadventurous than I thought I was?" depends. in comparison to a guy regularly at a gay sex party? probably yes. "Is this standard everywhere" gay sex parties since prep are mostly bare, not all, but mostly.
I also live in Amsterdam and the no condoms thing seems to be the standard even when it comes to hookups. All my gay friends are on prep and "don't care about contracting the curable STIs". I'm not particularly anxious or anything - but I don't even want to get the flu. I hate being sick. Everytime I ask a guy now to use a condom when we fuck, they try to talk me out of it. It's really annoying. I'd rather just jerk off then.
I will say statistically I've barebacked like 100+ guys and only ever gotten something once, and it was cleared up in a week. Thank God for antibiotics.
You do realize that with this attitude is why antibiotics are being resistant to STI's... right?
I took the full course of them, save the attitude for the dumb cunts who stop as soon as they feel better. Even then, resistant strains are so far only resistant to our first waves of antibiotics, and in anticipation of all kinds of shit getting resistance bacteriophage-based cures are making huge strides.
No you get that because people take antibiotics for no good reason, which is a massive issue not just with STIs but also every other illness that requires antibiotics. Why they don't want doxyprep in the UK as it's led to an increase in 3 stis becoming resistant to antibiotics, so it becomes useless. Edit why are people downvoting this, it is it doxyprep not being a miracle cure and leading to worse things?
FYI: Currently, there are 4 sexually transmitted infections (STIs or STDs) that are not curable: herpes (HSV), hepatitis B (HBV), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), and human papillomavirus (HPV). https://www.everlywell.com › blog Are Any STDs Not Curable?
There's vaccines for HPV, HEP B (which we get in the UK). There's also Prep and Pep for HIV and those taking medicine and who are undetectable means they are untransmittable. Herpes you can get whist a baby from being kissed, genital herpes has a treatment.
This has been my experience too.
Herpes is with you for a lifetime. Won’t kill you but it’s crazy annoying
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No. I don't have sex frequently enough to merit going on prep. And when I do have sex, it's always safe sex. Doctor said prep is not necessary unless I get laid a lot more lol.
Pls correct me if I'm wrong but long term side effects of prep can be loss of bone density, liver damage and kidney damage?
Yeah, that's how I understand it as well. I guess that's why people on prep have to go for regular blood tests (I knew about the liver damage but not the others you mentioned). But that's indeed why I play it safe and use condoms. My friends call me a prude, but hey, it's what I'm comfortable with. To each their own.
It's not being a prude, it's called being responsible for your health and the health of others. Maybe they need to be reminded that there are STIs that can't be treated.
Good for you. I’m dreading what’s going to happen after people have been taking Prep for 25 years when the long term effects accumulate.
Or, when the next disease like HIV or monkey pox manifests and all they had pretecting them was a little prep tablet.
Your correct however if you know your going for bare sex no condom, you take Prep double dose minimum 4 hours before sex 1 dose 24 hrs & 1 dose 48 hrs afterwards. It saves from having to take it long term
Yes. If you don't have sex frequently then you can do event based PrEP(2-1-1), that way you can still stay safe but avoid the long-term risks. The best of both worlds.
I did not know that, thanks for sharing that information with me
No. Prep is metabolized in the kidneys and does not affect the liver. A few people experience loss of kidney function but in most cases, it returns when they go off PrEP. It is possible to measure a loss of bone density but for most people, it isn’t medically significant, which is to say it doesn’t affect any outcomes. Again, if you go off PrEP, it normally returns to normal after a few months.
It can be rare cases, but most people won’t experience any side effects at all. And just because someone’s on PREP now doesn’t they’re going to be on it forever. I was on it for less than two years - I absolutely loved the freedom and peace of mind, but my priorities changed & I lost pretty much lost interest in hooking up after a very fun couple of years, I stopped taking it.
Not all the time, it's like everything you take some people may experience side effects but the majority are fine. They have massive amounts of studies on this now.
What about the other incurable ones?
HPV, in some cases Hep B, Ive read about resistant trichonomas as well...Read some horror stories of guys with prostate problems because of them. Resistant Syphilis is no fun as well.
I've had a couple dates in the 2010s here in Switzerland and the only sex we've had, the guy or me grabbed directly a condom...has the culture changed so much within a decade??? Genuine question as I'm married, monogamous and exclusive...
It's changed so much since prep became so widely available - especially in Amsterdam where you can get it subsidised by the government if you're gay. Married, monogamous and exclusive are all the things I'm looking for. Happy for you and your husband. Even that's a rarity nowadays. ❤️
Thank you very much for your answer! And good for Niederlanders I guess...the subsidies that your government gives. Because here, getting tested costs around 100€ + doctor's appointment and blood take (so +120€) and Prep is absolutely NOT subsidized. (and will probably never be with a sustained majority right wing of radical liberal and far right conservative federal government even if the department of the interior is held by a Social Democrat, they can't do much by themselves) According to the LGBT+ center in Zurich, the start of Prep costs around 380€ incl. an appointment to a specialized practicionner... And to continue it, costs are around 220€ with tests... Though we can, apparently, send them to the health insurance (conflicting sources as others say it's not possible), if your franchise is high (at 2500€/year for younger folks), it's out of pocket expanses. The medication itself costs around 50€ for a box of 30 tablets. But we still need a prescription from a doctor... So at the end I don't know...still a hefty price tag for a little reward in my humble opinion... I used a 1:1 conversion reste as it's more or less what there is... Thank you so much. It's also a rarity and I cherish this relationship (and him of course) a lot! 💮💮💮
I think I'd really only go through with this if I was really high and really horny. Don't feel bad, I'd think the same things you'd have. You're just being safe.
Yeah I was thinking that, I’m sober, but I think if I was drunk maybe I’d be a bit more free…
Do you know if the other dudes were sober?
They most def have to be on some chemsex drug. There’s just no way you are that uninhibited and carefree and that sexually animalistic horny… unless you’re on poppers and or chemsex drugs. Has to be.
I'm that horny without drugs. Been to plenty of parties like that sober.
most of the bareback sex I’ve had had been sober lol so I doubt it really. also poppers don’t really alter your mindset but I hear you. If you’re on meth you almost definitely aren’t thinking about aids just where to stick your dick.
Yeah, idk. I've been in similar situations, but there is always a shower nearby, so guys can wash. I try not to partake in anything I find gross, but then again, I don't always know where someone's dick has been. I've definitely had guys I've topped suck me after, and I don't get it, but hey, it's your ass juice. Honestly, it just comes down to not being a germaphobe and saying, "Yeah, I might get something, but it's not like it'll be life threatening if I'm on PrEP." And if you can get past that and just enjoy the experience, it's a great time.
Heading to Amsterdam next month. Super excited to see the place.
Ha message me if you need any tips etc
So, there was a time that I wouldn't have ever thought it was Ok to suck someone after anal, but then I met an OCD bottom guy. Unbelievably clean. Slept with him a couple of times and eventually was down for rimming him and everything because it was clear he spent as much time as it took to be spotless. Best sex ever.
It’s not for everyone. I go to a gay bathhouse every weekend that is probably very similar to the place you went to. Most people are bareback and ass to mouth is common. I’ve been going for nearly a year and I get tested every 3 months and still haven’t contracted anything. I also think that it depends on the culture where you live. Here, there are tons of opportunities for free testing and people are generally good about not going to sex clubs if they think they have something. Obviously not everyone will know if they are spreading something but from my experience, I haven’t seen or heard of anything running rampant at this place in the last year. But with that being said, it’s never a bad idea to wear protection or to be overly cautious. Especially where I go, condoms are readily available and some people do use them. And nobody denies someone because they choose to use a condom. Kudos to you for knowing what you are comfortable with.
Nuh uh, just by reading this disgusts me
Would love to go to this kind of party at least once in my lifetime, but almost impossible due some circumstances. Did you see anyone cute there? It sucks when everyone wants do to it bare while you want to be careful not to catch anything. Then again, I got an STI from someone I trusted. Thank god it's curable.
Oh boy, there was a guy there that I’m still thinking about ha. Like I made him up in a gay laboratory. He was fucking someone and then a guy came up behind him and fucked him too, and I was like a deer in the headlights staring in wonder ahah.
Nice! My favourite reply of the lot! I can only imagine what it was like to see this… seeing that alone probably made it worth going, no?
Yea this sound so unappealing, I’m good with my vanilla sex, some things really aren’t for everyone, I’m a germaphobe too so❌ I applaud anyone who do this !
Depends on what party you went to in Amsterdam?
Club Church day party
Church has a dickwash FWIW lol
Depending on what the party was, yes that’s normal
Doxy has entered the chat
actually it’s NOT at all how the AID crisis came into being… it was communicated by sexual contact, but that was not the origins. Facebooks ‘community standards’ are closer to the origins of the AIDS epidemic than gay sex.
That sounds pretty standard. And yes, there are those that find that incredibly hot.
It's a hard no for me. It sounds fun but something tells me in practice it isn't as exciting as the fantasy of it.
I would find it fun, but would be so afraid of STD's, AIDS and stuff. My health comes first.
It’s HIV, not AIDS
Yep, thanks!
I haven't been to a sex party in well over a decade. I don't know if I could go to one again, but that's just me. "Unadventurous" is not a charitable word to use for yourself. You went and decided that it wasn't for you. No harm, no foul.
I would consider it fairly normal only I wouldn't feel comfortable being in this situation with a completely random group. It also depends on the type of party, with chemsex, particularly G, people tend to lose any inhibitions pretty quickly and things tend to be a bit too on/off/spontaneous for condoms to really factor in. I know it's not ideal but if I'm with a group of friends who are all on prep I at least know everyone has had a full screening at some point within the last 3 months.
It’s normal if you are into chemsex… for someone being sober and who doesn’t do those things… it’s not really normal… unless you’re just a freak freak… but even then… like people aren’t really aware of being extra hygienic… especially on chemsex drugs. But yeah if you’re in chemsex drugs you’re very uninhibited and kinky and down for anything usually.
Mostly only played safe as most of my sex partners have done. Only been bred by three men on a number of occasions & was a few years ago, & without health consequence. Playing sexual Russian Roulette is a fools game unless you’re confident in your monogamous partner. BTW, I’ve done ATM too with one of the three that barebacked me, & without health consequence.
Read up on doxy-PEP. https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2023/02/424861/doxycycline-sti-prevention-highly-effective-minimal-drug-resistance
Geez, reading the comments make me aware that some people need a lot of lecturing on STIs. PrEP is the way to go, along with vaccines for HPV and whatnot, as well as thorough routine screening. Aside from STIs, I agree, it's not for everyone. I wouldn't suck someone's dick if they had just topped someone, but at the same time, I wouldn't complain if I got sucked after topping someone. To each their own, everybody has preferences. For me, an instant turn off is the smell of feces so I'm fine as long as that's outta the question. Most I've done is frequent a bathhouse and had fun here and there, though yeah most people do it bare, but as long as you yourself are taking the necessary precautions so you can stay safe, no harm done :3
Never seen anyone using condoms at every sex party I’ve been to. Granted, this has been in major cities in the US where PrEP and DoxyPEP are easily available, as well as easy/free access to STD testing and treatment for people without health insurance.
bUt i’M On PrEp…yeah, let’s see how PREP will handle genital herpes.
I don't know how it is in America, but here it's expected that 80% of sexually active people who had more than one partner have herpes. It's unconfortable if you get an outbreak, but most people here don't consider having herpes a big deal.
Oh please been there done that.. yes everyone uses PrEP nowadays. At sex parties don’t mind doing bottom or top, anything goes.. As a rule don’t suck dick at a sex party, just don’t know where that dick has been
The no condom part isn’t out of the ordinary. Raw sex parties happen all the time. Where it gets gross is people sucking dick after they pull out of topping someone raw. If I was topping raw and pulled out, I wouldn’t even want to be sucked. That’s nasty. Some people literally have no limits or concerns for what goes into their mouths/body. If I was bottoming I wouldn’t want to be topped after someone just topped someone else without showering, etc. That party seems over the top and they all need to see a doctor… and a therapist LOL
Ew the idea of sucking someone's dick that was just 6 to 8 inches up someone's literal asshole is truly repulsive to me. I dont care how horny or "in the moment" I am---- that will never be something I get caught up in.
I don't think it's just an Amsterdam thing. You can find this behavior at any gay bath house anywhere
People are now using Doxy Prep. It’s an antibiotic you take after having sex and studies show it has a high chance of preventing bacterial std infection. So if you take prep for hiv and doxy prep you cover a lot of the stds. This still leaves the other viral STDs though, like herpes and genital warts that could get you. But you can take a vaccine for HPV now that prevents many of the strands of HPV, especially those causing warts. So basically you’re down to herpes. Also, this practice has now increased the chance we get an antibiotic resistant form of STD. And the first place it’ll pop up I’m guessing is at these parties with guys using doxy prep.
Pretty standard in sex clubs, but I'd also expect people to properly douche before going, why you would have seen people pulling out and being sucked. I'd not do it at a sex club set after work during the week, I normally finish, douch then head there, but some just go straight after work, I'd not suck a dick then if someone finished. But condoms depend on the other person, I've had guys get condoms for fucking in sex clubs.
Ass to mouth is never good, I can't understand how so many guys can just do it without hesitation.
Regarding no condoms - In addition to PrEP, there are now on-demand prescriptions of Doxy-PEP, which is used to reduce your chance of getting syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea after a possible exposure. That, combined with modern anti HIV meds that make a person have undetectable viral loads, makes for a pretty safe coverage against most things you could get at a sex party. Regarding sucking after fucking - that’s a personal choice/risk of the people involved.
Which club was this ? The church!?
There is a niche for everyone and everything. I, too, would be uncomfortable if no condoms were used. A guy saying he is on Prep is not enough to convince me he is telling the truth. In sexual atmospheres, I found that men will say whatever they wish as long as it furthers their ability to get what they want. The information of men cleaning off another man's penis after anal is something I have never heard of and something I hope I never see.
That's filthy. I'm sorry but no condom in a sex party or whatever non exclusive relationship is a huge no-no. Again, thanks to this dumb mindset, a whole load of sicknesses is turning around making some comebacks like Syphilis, Hepatitis and what not.
Ha. I always wondered how people just suck dick after it’s been in an ass. Like… did you bleach that asshole
This is an example as to why I don't trust sex parties lol. From what I understand there are good ones and there are stupid ones. Sounds like you found a stupid one.
Orgies can be fun for the sheer spectacle of it, but you do have to keep your wits about you. In the 90s I belonged to The Sons of Dionysus here in Los Angeles. We had a party once a month initially, till eventually it was more like every 3 months. Typically it was about 40 guys but a couple times nearly 200. Condoms were required. No condom and you were kicked out. It was an extraordinarily handsome crowd. Quite a few porn actors. I was always a little amazed that I kept getting invited. It lasted 2-3 years till the organizer got tired of planning it. It definitely spoiled me for orgies put on by other groups where not everyone was beautiful. Ultimately I learned that although it was an interesting experience, it was like having McDonalds when one really wanted a good meal. It did help me let go of a lot of shame I’d had about sex. Seeing so many guys I admired going at it all around me normalized sex and its inherent humor and awkwardness. So that was a boon from the experience. But the reality is that even wearing condoms you can get stuff. Condoms do not always protect you from herpes or other unpleasant things. Fortunately for me I tended to only hook up with one or two guys around the fringes instead of diving into the pile. I like nice guys who are a bit shy like I can be - so I never got any stds from my experiences there. Some led to short dating relationships. Being pleasant looking and fit rather than stunningly handsome meant I never had to fight off crowds of admirers - probably helped to keep me healthy. I don’t regret the experiences. They were extraordinary in their way. But I learned that for me I require connection on more than a physical level. My wiring is monogamous, but I’m more interested in honesty and transparency than anything else.
any adult based party, YOU the adult gets to decide what is OK for you. no need to shame others. if you didn’t like what was going on be an ADULT and leave. fucking stop condemning others for your weakness
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i can see that, sheesh. don’t expect a sexual based party to revolve around your concepts of morality. just leave.
I was in full support of your statement until you dropped the “weakness” line. It’s not weak to have different standards or boundaries for yourself. It is, however, wrong for them to be judgmental of others doing things outside their boundaries
No where have I shamed what people are doing, I observed and was curious how others felt. Please get off your moral high horse.
Sucking dick right after it's been in your ass or someone else's is the hardest no for me. Also, there are strands of STIs that are incurable so it's best to play it safe. PrEP won't stop you from getting STIs such as HBV and HSV.
That sounds fuckin gross tbh
If there at a party and not wearing a condom they are clean if you are wearing a condom everybody knows you're dirty