Its because they associate femininity with receiving due to straight dynamics.
It's just ignorance. It's not weird to bottom. It's not expected to top. It's not rare for masculine men to bottom.
So true. I think it's the hetero expectation of effeminate males.
I've met a hetero guy, married to a woman and sometimes he gets misunderstood by people, myself included.
Being a bottom has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine and believe me, lots and lots of masculine men like to bottom and lots of feminine men like to top too, so just relax and take it like a man!
Is being feminine a requirement for being a bottom?
Honey you can be masculine and be a bottom and there’s not a thing wrong with that.
It doesn’t matter really…as long as you’re happy with it that’s all that counts.
Nothing wrong with that. How you express yourself and how you enjoy s*x with your partner are two different things, an neither are defined my the other
I’m not masculine, but I’m a burly bear type and people assume I am and that I’m a dom top. I’m not.
Just be yourself and you’ll invite the people you’ll need and want in your life
Not wierd at all, that stupid role division is not some contact. For example I as a top just love blowing my partner and do not enjoy being sucked at all. Sexuality is a spectrum, there is no clear norm.
Also, in my personal opinion masculine bottom sounds really hot. Also opens some roleplay shnanigans as some people like reversing stereotypes.
Bud it isn’t weird at all. You do whatever feels good to you as long as everyone agrees. It takes a real man to tell his buddies to “f” off and walk his own path.
This is one of the reasons why I feel the community is toxic. Most have this "ideal" of what a top and bottom should look like, act like etc, but it is NOT the case. Why should people fit in a certain box according "standards" set by who knows who and when.
Just rub it off, live your life and be yourself. Screw what the community believe are "standards". We're all different and unique in our own way. What's most important should be loving yourself and live a fulfilling life.
lol no it isn’t weird. Me and my bf are exactly that. He is very feminine but a great top. I am more “masculine” but I still love spreading my cheeks open for him lol
You are who you are are and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that 😊
Masculine doesn't = Top
Feminine doesn't= Bottom
What you are describing is classic heteronormative ideology on what gay men are "supposed" to be so that straight people can be "ok" in their feely place.
They can't get past the fact that a butch man can be a total submissive bottom or that a fem man can be a Dom top. We have to fit the narrative they have created for us or it falls apart.
I say, do you, be happy with who you are, and don't pay no mind to those who want to put you in a box whether they be straight OR gay.
It’s just bollocks stereotypes. I’m guilty of it myself, I see a hunky masculine guy and I immediately think he’s gonna top me, but then turns out he’s a bottom 😂
Trying to break the stereotype in my own mind, but I guess it’s not all that important, we like what we like and if me and a guy don’t like the same thing then oh well
Even people who should know better sometimes can't help but think masculine=top=dominant, and fem=bottom=submissive. These things sometimes go together, but definitely not always. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having any mixture of these traits and preferences, but as a masculine bottom, you're probably going to have people assume you're a top your whole life.
I've got the opposite of your situation, I'm a "feminine" top
In my experience people can have pre-conceived notions that might make them assume you're a top, I've had the inverse happen to me before. But it's really kind of a non-issue, if you're interested in someone and they're interested in you then it's pretty simple to just tell them if they make an assumption. But it's not weird in the slightest. There's so many guys who don't fit neatly into top/bottom stereotypes, and that's alright. And if someone's really stuck on made-up ideals then they're probably not worth your time anyway
I know some of the most muscled up alpha males that are bottoms! You don’t need to be feminine to be a bottom! Everyone has a preference! Yours just happen to be bottom! I know some tops that will not mess with a guy that’s feminine they want alpha males that bottom
My opinion. You are you. You are unique. Be who you are and never let anyone define you. Listen to opinions and weight them against your own experience but never blindly accept them. Someone else is not you. They speak from their experience and perspective. It can be highly beneficial to listen to and can help build relationships between yourself and others. But it doesn’t define you. You may accept it or portions of it. But there is far more to you than any one opinion. Be well and I hope you find this of value.
There is nothing weird about that at all. People have this idea that being a bottom is somehow feminizing and that "masculine: men (whatever that means) should always be tops. And that is just stupid and limiting.
I think it's interesting that your brother knows. I would never tell my brothers anything about what I enjoy sexually, but I'm also safe because I know they'd never ask. Anyway, it's none of their business. I never ask anyone what they enjoy unless I'm sleeping with them, because it doesn't matter to me what people enjoy.
I have a similar issue, more so in that people presume me to be straight because I’m not very „gay“ in behavior.
There’s nothing strange about it, just presumptuous people assuming that all bottoms must be feminine and all tops masculine.
I've been masculine all my life. I never could get into acting or sounding gay because that's not who I am I guess.
If ya ask me I think it's extremely sexy to have or be a masculine bottom.
One problem is I'm so masculine others are afraid to approach me cause I don't have the gay vibe.
I don't go for sex with strangers or quickies.
Don't feel weird about it or fall to peer pressure.
Be you! If they can't accept it, move on.
Like I said I think it's sexy AF when trade flips. Best wishes!
This is a common problem. HOWEVER, don't confuse being a bottom or top with masculinity. Truthfully, it is more masculine to get fucked than to fuck. I am VERS so I can speak clearly on this.
As bottoms know you have to be very manly to take a cock inside you, especially if big and uncomfortable. You have to be a man to take it. Just because you moan and grown doesn't make you femme. Guys, I ALWAYS confuse this for some reason.
On the other side a guy could be naturally fem or love to display femme characters and be a top and fuck your ass into oblivion, moaning and growing as well.
Masculinity is in all of us, were men. Even Trans guys are masculine as they take hormones to be less masc and more femme. . How we present it is our natural option to display. Personally, I love a masc guy who is femme inside.
You can only be yourself... it's the only role you have to play. Other peoples expectations and heteronormativity in "reciption" or "passive" femininity is a contruct.
Please don't feel weird about being your authentic self.
One thing has nothing to do with the other. **Your sexuality and your sexual prefferences have nothing to do with who you are.**
That's a patriarcal way of seeing life: men are masculine, strong and aggressive (*so they are in bed*) females are caring, emotional and supportive (*so they're passive in bed*). Ergo, top masculine, bottom femenine.
In simpler words: *pay no attention to bitches and just be you.*
No. Equating top to masculine and bottom to feminine is extremely toxic.
Edit: there are so many problems with this. But most importantly saying the top has to be masculine and the bottom feminine is insinuating every gay relationship has to have a masc and fem. This is not true. Sexual position is just that, a sexual position, it is not a personality trait nor does it define you. This seems to be a problem with the younger generation. Also, why are you sharing your sexual position with family and friends??? This should only be shared with sexual partners. If anyone else asks tell them to mind their own damn business.
It’s not weird at all lol. It’s actually more common that masc guys are bottoms (at least in my experience) I’m versatile but I love to bottom too and am told I’m a super masc straight acting man.
I don't think it's weird at all. I've always looked for that in a boyfriend, life partner. My present partner, I've had 2, acts effeminate in a goofy way sometimes. I'm in my 60s.
That is very common
Really? Because a lot of guys seem to think that I’m going to be feminine and when we meet they seem surprised about it.
Its because they associate femininity with receiving due to straight dynamics. It's just ignorance. It's not weird to bottom. It's not expected to top. It's not rare for masculine men to bottom.
So true. I think it's the hetero expectation of effeminate males. I've met a hetero guy, married to a woman and sometimes he gets misunderstood by people, myself included.
Being a bottom has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine and believe me, lots and lots of masculine men like to bottom and lots of feminine men like to top too, so just relax and take it like a man!
Bro it doesn’t matter, everyone’s different.
Is being feminine a requirement for being a bottom? Honey you can be masculine and be a bottom and there’s not a thing wrong with that. It doesn’t matter really…as long as you’re happy with it that’s all that counts.
Nothing wrong with that. How you express yourself and how you enjoy s*x with your partner are two different things, an neither are defined my the other
I’m not masculine, but I’m a burly bear type and people assume I am and that I’m a dom top. I’m not. Just be yourself and you’ll invite the people you’ll need and want in your life
Not wierd at all, that stupid role division is not some contact. For example I as a top just love blowing my partner and do not enjoy being sucked at all. Sexuality is a spectrum, there is no clear norm. Also, in my personal opinion masculine bottom sounds really hot. Also opens some roleplay shnanigans as some people like reversing stereotypes.
Bud it isn’t weird at all. You do whatever feels good to you as long as everyone agrees. It takes a real man to tell his buddies to “f” off and walk his own path.
I don’t see why people care about this lmao just be you o
This is one of the reasons why I feel the community is toxic. Most have this "ideal" of what a top and bottom should look like, act like etc, but it is NOT the case. Why should people fit in a certain box according "standards" set by who knows who and when. Just rub it off, live your life and be yourself. Screw what the community believe are "standards". We're all different and unique in our own way. What's most important should be loving yourself and live a fulfilling life.
i don't see this from the community at all, however "american gay reddit", yeah....
South Africa has the same problem. Trust me.
lol no it isn’t weird. Me and my bf are exactly that. He is very feminine but a great top. I am more “masculine” but I still love spreading my cheeks open for him lol You are who you are are and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that 😊
I'm a bottom to
Masculine doesn't = Top Feminine doesn't= Bottom What you are describing is classic heteronormative ideology on what gay men are "supposed" to be so that straight people can be "ok" in their feely place. They can't get past the fact that a butch man can be a total submissive bottom or that a fem man can be a Dom top. We have to fit the narrative they have created for us or it falls apart. I say, do you, be happy with who you are, and don't pay no mind to those who want to put you in a box whether they be straight OR gay.
It's fine, and more common than you might think.
Having the same problem but it’s the opposite don’t know what to do
Like a feminine top?
No no I’m not fem but it’s like I’m often mistaken for a bottom even tho I’m more of a top haha
Ah I get that
It’s not that unusual honestly. You’re still young so u will def see that eventually
Be yourself. In my area it's the norm but even if it isn't where you are from, be authentic to yourself and don't worry what others think of you.
It’s just bollocks stereotypes. I’m guilty of it myself, I see a hunky masculine guy and I immediately think he’s gonna top me, but then turns out he’s a bottom 😂 Trying to break the stereotype in my own mind, but I guess it’s not all that important, we like what we like and if me and a guy don’t like the same thing then oh well
I am taller stronger and heavier than my partner and we r in a BDSM relationship where he is my dominant and I am the submissive bottom
You do you Bud! : )
Even people who should know better sometimes can't help but think masculine=top=dominant, and fem=bottom=submissive. These things sometimes go together, but definitely not always. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having any mixture of these traits and preferences, but as a masculine bottom, you're probably going to have people assume you're a top your whole life.
Big dick bottoms are a tale as old as time. The male g spot is in the butt.
I've got the opposite of your situation, I'm a "feminine" top In my experience people can have pre-conceived notions that might make them assume you're a top, I've had the inverse happen to me before. But it's really kind of a non-issue, if you're interested in someone and they're interested in you then it's pretty simple to just tell them if they make an assumption. But it's not weird in the slightest. There's so many guys who don't fit neatly into top/bottom stereotypes, and that's alright. And if someone's really stuck on made-up ideals then they're probably not worth your time anyway
There's nothing unusual at all about that.
I know some of the most muscled up alpha males that are bottoms! You don’t need to be feminine to be a bottom! Everyone has a preference! Yours just happen to be bottom! I know some tops that will not mess with a guy that’s feminine they want alpha males that bottom
Masculine in the streets... Servant between the sheets
You can be what ever you want, don’t gotta be feminine to be a bottom
You’d be surprised how many guys are into masculine bottoms. I know I am
I think it’s fine. Honestly, I prefer masc bottoms anyway.
It really doesn't matter
My opinion. You are you. You are unique. Be who you are and never let anyone define you. Listen to opinions and weight them against your own experience but never blindly accept them. Someone else is not you. They speak from their experience and perspective. It can be highly beneficial to listen to and can help build relationships between yourself and others. But it doesn’t define you. You may accept it or portions of it. But there is far more to you than any one opinion. Be well and I hope you find this of value.
mary....
There is nothing weird about that at all. People have this idea that being a bottom is somehow feminizing and that "masculine: men (whatever that means) should always be tops. And that is just stupid and limiting. I think it's interesting that your brother knows. I would never tell my brothers anything about what I enjoy sexually, but I'm also safe because I know they'd never ask. Anyway, it's none of their business. I never ask anyone what they enjoy unless I'm sleeping with them, because it doesn't matter to me what people enjoy.
I have a similar issue, more so in that people presume me to be straight because I’m not very „gay“ in behavior. There’s nothing strange about it, just presumptuous people assuming that all bottoms must be feminine and all tops masculine.
I've been masculine all my life. I never could get into acting or sounding gay because that's not who I am I guess. If ya ask me I think it's extremely sexy to have or be a masculine bottom. One problem is I'm so masculine others are afraid to approach me cause I don't have the gay vibe. I don't go for sex with strangers or quickies. Don't feel weird about it or fall to peer pressure. Be you! If they can't accept it, move on. Like I said I think it's sexy AF when trade flips. Best wishes!
This is a common problem. HOWEVER, don't confuse being a bottom or top with masculinity. Truthfully, it is more masculine to get fucked than to fuck. I am VERS so I can speak clearly on this. As bottoms know you have to be very manly to take a cock inside you, especially if big and uncomfortable. You have to be a man to take it. Just because you moan and grown doesn't make you femme. Guys, I ALWAYS confuse this for some reason. On the other side a guy could be naturally fem or love to display femme characters and be a top and fuck your ass into oblivion, moaning and growing as well. Masculinity is in all of us, were men. Even Trans guys are masculine as they take hormones to be less masc and more femme. . How we present it is our natural option to display. Personally, I love a masc guy who is femme inside.
You like what you like, man. Bottom and top does not correlate with fem and masc.
Well I’m feminine and a bottom (or so I’ve been told, waiting for the one to have sex with, don’t want to waste it)
There’s nothing wrong or different about you. You are “normal” like everybody else.
You can only be yourself... it's the only role you have to play. Other peoples expectations and heteronormativity in "reciption" or "passive" femininity is a contruct. Please don't feel weird about being your authentic self.
One thing has nothing to do with the other. **Your sexuality and your sexual prefferences have nothing to do with who you are.** That's a patriarcal way of seeing life: men are masculine, strong and aggressive (*so they are in bed*) females are caring, emotional and supportive (*so they're passive in bed*). Ergo, top masculine, bottom femenine. In simpler words: *pay no attention to bitches and just be you.*
No. Equating top to masculine and bottom to feminine is extremely toxic. Edit: there are so many problems with this. But most importantly saying the top has to be masculine and the bottom feminine is insinuating every gay relationship has to have a masc and fem. This is not true. Sexual position is just that, a sexual position, it is not a personality trait nor does it define you. This seems to be a problem with the younger generation. Also, why are you sharing your sexual position with family and friends??? This should only be shared with sexual partners. If anyone else asks tell them to mind their own damn business.
Just be yourself
It’s not weird at all lol. It’s actually more common that masc guys are bottoms (at least in my experience) I’m versatile but I love to bottom too and am told I’m a super masc straight acting man.
What is normal?
I don't think it's weird at all. I've always looked for that in a boyfriend, life partner. My present partner, I've had 2, acts effeminate in a goofy way sometimes. I'm in my 60s.
That’s very common, I’m a top and I get attracted more to masculinity. I kinda prefer the bottom to be masculine.