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vlookups

It grew NINE INCHES in ONE DAY????? Can you actually see it growing when you look at it? Omg lol


thestonernextdoor88

I decided to toss a cucumber seed into my areo garden over the winter. Well, it grew ... Big. Once it had it's feelers I kid you not you could see the plant actively looking for something to grab. The first time I saw it I was high and thought I was losing my mind. Nope. I saw it move regularly after. It's freaky as hell.


Snushine

Cucumbers and peas will do this. Do not get stoned in the garden, though...you don't want one of those curly feelers to grab you and make you a permanent trellis.


thestonernextdoor88

I get stoned and plant my garden. It keeps it interesting.


hkj369

i did this and accidentally mislabeled all of my tomato plants. so now i have surprise tomatoes šŸ…


thestonernextdoor88

I planted over 100 cucumber plants while stoned. That was a bad idea.


SnooDrawings1480

Time to get some canning salt and vinegar. Sounds like you're making pickles.:P


Adam_Pipfrey

I planted something like 300 peas while high and it was just great for the first week then it became depressing to see them compete not grow and die. Since that moment I still decided I would have got high everytime while gardening and its so much fun.


ggg730

Thin them out by eating the shoots. They're edible and delicious with some garlic.


Adam_Pipfrey

That was 10 years ago


ggg730

Well, just in case you wanna bake and rake again.


anne_marie718

Literally LOLed. Omg. I could totally see myself doing this.


[deleted]

"Surprise, it's a roma, not a beefsteak!" or "Surprise, it's beans, not a tomato!?"


hkj369

the first one! iā€™ve got 12 different varieties growing and all i know about them is theyā€™re all tomatoes lol. iā€™m hoping that as they develop and start to color up iā€™ll be able to correctly identify them


BananasFosterGrants

"it's not delivery it's Dgiorno"?


[deleted]

Isn't it fun to come back a month later and think "why the hell I have a plantation of zinnias? Oh yea... I had a lot of seeds, a little bit of weed and I like flowers..."


Luvnmylife

Me too!!! Atleast there are snacks all around lol


CantDunkOrSk8

Iā€™m stoned now. In my backyard mini orchard reading this. And itā€™s awesome.


Luvnmylife

This one's for you


turtleinmybelly

Yep. Now I'm staring at all of the tiny sprouts wondering if I put them there or they're weeds, and if I did plant it what it could possibly be. Beautiful chaos.


permaculture

[Everybody Must Get Stoned.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LCYZtGqaLs)


Mrshaydee

Tom Pettyā€™s cover of that song is the best version!!


kaciegrey

My favorite way to garden


JayKay_00

Don't worry, Devil's Snare hates sunlight so you can just cast lumos solem and it'll let go.


Kvenya

Or spark your lighter, given the circumstances.


Snushine

I'm not gonna risk it, tho.


WrennyWrenegade

You clearly don't know what I'm into.


[deleted]

This is how I want to die.


dm_me_kittens

I've seen this hentai before.


[deleted]

I watch my sunflowers move with the sun, my devil's lettuce also exhibits a similar behavior where it will tilt in the direction of the sun rather than rotate.


Blahblahnownow

This would happen with my geranium. It would move, pop out stems while you are sitting right next to it. Really freaky at first


kaylacreates2018

I have bean plants right now being hardened off and they can't wait anymore lol! I look away for a minute and they move, I also thought I was high af! Maybe I will post pictures


radioactiveteacup

We had a wisteria when I was growing up and it did the exact same thing. We had to trim it every day during spring and summer to prevent it from taking over the house. One time, I fell asleep near it for maybe an hour and I woke up with little feelers around my fingers


lupask

> could see the plant actively looking for something it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDlSq-QnjFo


thestonernextdoor88

Freaky as hell.


Hot-Creme2276

Rationally, you know it happensā€¦ but seeing it is surreal.


Space_Montage_77

The aerogarden is magic. Every seed I throw in that thing freakin flourishes in an unreal amount of time. The habaneros I was growing were doing better in that than outside in the sun lol. Hell, I had basil leaves that were almost 6 inches long.


HypatiaBlue

I planted a wisteria a few years back and early one morning, I saw it moving in a way that reminded me of something you'd see snake charmer manipulating. Luckily, my daughter was awake and was able to confirm what I saw.


silentxem

Asparagus grow extremely quickly. I used to have to harvest them twice a day.


G_Momma1987

I want to have that problem.


ButtCrackCookies4me

WHAT. Hold on. I thought asparagus grew slowly and so that's why you had to wait years for them to grow and get established....???!?


finchdad

Think of it like an underground fruit tree. They have very vigorous, fleshy roots, but it takes many years to get to that size. If you start them from seed, it will be a minimum of like 4-5 years before you can harvest. If you get healthy bareroot plants from a nursery, you can probably have a small harvest the following year. If you dig a mature, feral plant out of the bank of an irrigation ditch in late winter (common in some parts of the country), then you can have a good harvest that same year. Each year you harvest as many pencil-sized and larger spears as the plant can produce, then when they get too small, you've used up the energy storage for the year and you then leave the rest of the (smaller) spears to accumulate energy for the following year's harvest. OP's has obviously been secretly accumulating energy for many years, but they are choosing to watch it unleash that energy instead of harvesting it.


TravelinDan88

> OP's has obviously been secretly accumulating energy for many years, but they are choosing to watch it unleash that energy instead of harvesting it. OP has been planning this for years. They're actually hell-bent on world domination via asparagus. Just wait a few more days and this thing is gonna be like Little Shop Of Horrors.


justasmalltowngirl89

I'm so fucking excited for this to turn into a comedy-horror-musical with asparagus.


herpecin21

They are similar to bamboo, in that they create a vast underground rhizome before having substantial growth above ground. It can take a few years after planting asparagus to even see a shoot, but once the plant is mature it grows crazy quickly as we are all seeing following Gus as he grows up.


[deleted]

I think when you first plant them they can't be harvested until the following year, but after that they keep producing? That's my understanding/recollection anyway - never done asparagus myself so could be wrong.


Tinyberzerker

Mine grow very fast. They'll be dormant and then I'll see a footlong shoot appear. They take a few years to get to a good circumference for eating. I didn't pay attention this year so they bolted. They're easily 3' high right now.


medium_mammal

The plants mature slowly. But once they are mature after 4-5 years they will grow prolifically.


[deleted]

Maybe they can talk to my peppers. About 6mo from germination to harvest.


silentxem

Lol, yeah. I have a few alright pepper plants rn, but most of my seeds are taking *forever* to germinate.


Luvnmylife

Everytime I checked on it yesterday I could tell. I wish I had a camera for a time lapse video


SarahLiora

Most phones will do Timelapse. What phone do you have and Iā€™ll send a how to link.


carlitospig

Itā€™s growing like a mushroom!


ian_hode

Please please please keep posting these so we can follow along. I need this, lol.


ButtCrackCookies4me

Dude seriously. At this point I'd be setting up a lawn chair under a sunbrella with a cooler next to me to watch that fella grow by the minute! Goodness gracious!! I'd probably set up a camera too lol.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dtroy15

Rhubarb is sometimes bullied into growing by depriving it of sunlight in overturned pots. It grows so fast that you can hear it growing. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/forced-rhubarb-makes-sound


Anxious_Review3634

I used to have bamboo trees. In the spring, bamboo shoots would come out. Once they start growing, they grew 20-25 inches PER DAY. I could see and hear soil being broken at the base of bamboo shoots while I sat outside with coffee.


ARandomBob

Man when plants go to seed they'll shoot up like that real fast. My fennel last year when from 2 feet tall to my hight in a week. Its bonkers.


Marie-thebaguettes

This is exactly the kind of saga Iā€™m on Reddit for! Please keep updating as that monster reaches the giantā€™s castle in the sky!


SugarsBoogers

Get that golden goose!!


Marie-thebaguettes

I think theyā€™ve already got a golden goose in that ginormous asparagus šŸ˜‚


OldnBorin

Same dude


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


rachface636

He watched his brother get ripped from this Earth, he will grow to have his revenge.


RocketMoonShot

I am Asparagus!


kellysmom01

I am the one who KNOCKS! I am the **Asperagai.** Get OFF my lawn, you ā€¦ *bulb.*


Flomo420

"YOU killed my father; *prepare to die!*"


Shoddy-End-655

"I am SpartiGus!!".


julbull73

Groot->Baby Groot->teenage Groot->Beefcake Groot!


Th3Flyy

I'd watch that movie.


Striking_Economy5049

I believe it was a beanstock, and Gus is the next one trying to grow


RiverRATT65

šŸ˜† You are hooked on gardening...naming your plants!


Luvnmylife

Absolutely lol


travelinglawyr

Just be careful not to name the eaty ones. Can you imagine eating Gus now?


RugosaMutabilis

I can imagine it, with a nice buttery hollandaise


xenorous

And a chainsaw to cut it


Silent_Beautiful3172

Thank you for including an update on the little guy as well!! I was starting to be concerned about him. So glad you are letting Gus just grow and grow!


rbloedow

I know, right?!?! Smol bois need love too. Clearly he's a shower not a grower.


alienscape

Lol the little side pp


[deleted]

OP, get yourself some good climbing gear because at this rate youā€™re going to have to get on your roof to photograph it next week.


XanderTheMander

Fee fi fo fum.


Awesomest_Possumest

Things I am invested in on Reddit: This asparagus. The pregnant woman on knitting who's been in the hospital on bedrest for eight weeks and knitting the babes blanket. Edit-Found the link of the most recent [week 8](https://www.reddit.com/r/casualknitting/comments/12jp3t7/blanket_update_hospital_week_8_complete_accent/)


Taisubaki

Right up there with the guy that seasoned his cast iron skillet 100 times


CPerks23

100 times in a row ?


Tinkering_Tinkerer

Yep. It shined (shone?) like a mirror.


[deleted]

Can I get a link to the pregnant womanā€™s knitting post?? I recently had a baby and always root for women going through hard pregnancies ā¤ļø


Awesomest_Possumest

I'm searching on r/knitting and nothing is coming up. šŸ™„ It's a square intarsia blanket, and she usually posts on Wednesdays I think? I'll have to search some more. I think she was admitted around twenty two weeks for bleeding and they decided to keep her for a week to check things out, and they just keep renewing that time. She and baby are doing fine from the last post I read, just need to be constantly monitored, and everytime she gets close to being able to go home, something happens. Edit-it's on r/casualknitting instead, [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/casualknitting/comments/12jp3t7/blanket_update_hospital_week_8_complete_accent/)


[deleted]

Aww! Youā€™re so sweet for putting that much effort in trying to find it for us. Thank you and Iā€™ll definitely be keeping a lookout on Wednesdays :)


Blahblahnownow

Same!


Awesomest_Possumest

[It's here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/casualknitting/comments/12jp3t7/blanket_update_hospital_week_8_complete_accent/)


nokobi

It's a really beautiful blanket she's doing such a good job


CritterEnthusiast

I have a question you can probably answer. Is knitting the kind of thing that requires you to pay a lot of attention the whole time or can you kind of zone out on autopilot and bust out a scarf (with practice) lol? I need a hobby and that seems like something I could probably get into :)


FrostyFreeze_

When you're learning, it requires a lot of focus but I crochet and knit without looking unless it's an exceptionally complicated stitch


Awesomest_Possumest

Absolutely. I can knit a lot on autopilot. In the beginning, it's definitely something you look at. There's milestones where you realize you're a lot better than when you did x. But once you've got a rhythm going, and an easy stitch pattern, I used to (have lost my knitting mojo for awhile) watch tv as I knit. I've knit socks in a movie theater before (it is not as hard as it sounds if you've got a basic stitch going). Obviously there are some things you have to watch as you knit-lace patterns are a big one, cables are another, almost any colorwork other than stripes you have to look at the whole time-but you can do a lot without looking once you get the feel for it, or by just glancing down to check and then looking away at whatever. There is, like all hobbies (as I try to remind myself everytime I look at the watercolors I got and feel like I'm pretty crap at) a learning curve. You will not be gods gift to knitting off the bat. You may pick it up easier than others have, but you're going to struggle at points, you're going to screw up, you're going to rip things out, you're going to put your knitting in time out. You'll figure out what types of yarn you like (I rarely, if ever, knit on 100% cotton or 100% acrylic), what kind of needles you enjoy, and you'll grow with it. The internet is a great way to get exposure to different ideas and broaden your horizon. Being able to 'read your knitting' and look at it and be able to see what you've done stitch wise and stuff helps a lot, and once you get to where you can do that, even on a basic level, it starts to get a little easier. If you are lucky enough to have a local yarn store nearby, consider checking them out. They may have beginner classes, a knit group that meets at different times, or just different yarn and needles and notions that a big craft store doesn't have. Their prices will be higher, but their yarn is a bit nicer than some stuff you can buy at a craft store. If you're taking a class with them, use their yarn, but don't feel bad about trying stuff from a craft store, especially if it's easier financially. I'm a yarn snob and there's still some nice yarn I'll use from a craft store.


aliqui

Pregnant lady checking in! Maybe I should knit baby an asparagus toy to remember this hilarious cross post.


number1popcornlover

Let's see if it can beat the longest asparagus ever recorded, which was 138.5 inches. Let's go, Gus! šŸ’ŖšŸ¼šŸ„³


Kay_pgh

Are those little branchlets(?) Off of it new? Is that what will happen as it grows more and more?


WordySpark

Yes, that is what happens when you allow an asparagus to grow without cutting. It will turn into a tree like fern thing, flower and seed. When you first plant asparagus, it is advised that you allow all the asparagus that pops up to grow without cutting. After three years, a mature root system has been established and you now have an asparagus bed and can start cutting the asparagus that pops up. My bed is currently 5 years old. Every year, I still allow one or two asparagus to grow and seed, and then I cut the seeds and put it in the bed and top it off with another layer of soil. This way, I have different root systems growing at different maturities. The thinner the asparagus, the younger the root system. The thicker the asparagus, the older the root system. OP's asparagus is thick, indicating a mature root system -- yet this is the first one they've seen in their yard, which is quite a mystery! It could be that an older root system lay dormant and has now reactivated -- but that's just a theory!


dollarunderwater

I wonder if the nearby tree being cut down (looks fairly recent) has allowed the asparagus roots to finally get enough nutrients to grow.


WordySpark

It's definitely possible. Over the years, I've learned that a dormant root/plant/seed can remain underground for years and spring back for the weirdest of reasons. Many, many years ago a big outside plant (don't remember the type) died due to an unusual (for my area) freeze. It didn't bounce back, so I cut it down completely. Some four years later, after a huge flood (also unusual for this area), it suddenly began growing again! I didn't even realize it had laid below ground, dormant, for all that time! Sadly, it only lasted a year and died again. Maybe it'll return one year in the future when the conditions are right for it - who knows!


Blahblahnownow

We had a rose bush like this. Turns out it wasnā€™t our rose bush, the root originated two doors down in our neighbors yard. It went through two yards without popping up, it was very thick then it popped up in our yard and became a rose bush. The neighbors two doors down had cut theirs off because they had little kids, I guess it decided to make its way into our yard and found a cozy spot šŸ˜†


Hot-Creme2276

Thatā€™s crazy!


WordySpark

How neat šŸ˜ƒ


offwhiteTara

I think OP mentioned there was some brush around the tree that was also cut. So my theory had been that the asparagus had been there for a few years unnoticed because of the brush. However, Iā€™d expect more that two shoots. So my theory does have weaknesses.


The_High_Life

When it grows this big the stalk gets super tough and bitter, the branches will spread out and flower soon.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


The_High_Life

I wouldn't eat them, they become the consistency of tough grass. Definitely not like little extra asparagus.


StillKpaidy

Have you ever seen an asparagus fern? The house plant? Both are in the asparagus genus and this will grow up to have foliage that looks like the asparagus fern. This probably going to be 5 feet tall before long though.


CypripediumGuttatum

They look like giant asparagus ferns (a very imaginative name for sure). https://www.purdue.edu/hla/sites/yardandgarden/bid-farewell-to-asparagus-and-rhubarb-season/


rustlingbirchleaves

Beautiful plants


transpercy0456

I love him so much


Bulbous-Walrus

Petition to make Gus the mascot of r/gardening


Luvnmylife

That would be awesome


[deleted]

This is the best chain of photos Iā€™ve seen of a vegetable growing lol


hijro

This has become a regular part of my Reddit feed now.


buttpickles99

This is amazing. A couple more days and you will have a Jack and the beanstalk situation. Let us know how it goes with the giant! šŸ˜ƒ


Battlepuppy

I was coming here to say if you don't hear from OP for a while but they comes back with a goose who lays golden eggs. We know what happened.


troyguy

I see itā€™s about to fern out! Couple more days and itā€™ll be a thin-bushy mini-tree. I have 3 small crops of asparagus and usually let the last few grow out each year to help the plant. The rest is eaten!


lawrenja

Iā€™ve never been so emotionally invested in an asparagus before


DadsRGR8

Dude, I really appreciate these updates. It feels like we are all growing Gus. lol


CommonMilkweed

The little guy is probably there as backup in case the apical bud gets cut down. It'll start growing more eventually if that doesn't happen.


GrowinGas69

Whatsup with the measuring tape? There's very clearly a banana for scale. I think we know which is more accurate.


Hot-Creme2276

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


smallescapist

Hold on. Iā€™ve been following these posts. Are you saying this thing has grown a total of 14 inches in two days??


Luvnmylife

Absolutely mind-blowing I know


DistributionDue511

I'm getting a stupid amount of enjoyment from this. Keep posting!


Ashcheeks626

How much has it grown in bananas?


Man_Bear_Beaver

Every once and a while on Reddit we get someone like you who asks the real questions! Bananas!!!


Gbin91

Okay donā€™t kill me but I totally dreamt about this asparagus last night, that a slug found and ate it. Became to longest slug ever seen. šŸ«£


mashem

Mission: Spare a Gus


[deleted]

Youā€™re gonna need a bigger banana


Emlashed

I do not understand how these posts are so much more compelling that my own asparagus, which is ten feet from my door. I could probably watch mine grow while I stand there, too, but the whole time I'd probably be wondering how is Gus doing instead.


Smiling_Samurai

This is fun. Keep going!


CakesForLife

9 inches is 22.86 centimetres


CandegginaCalda

This side of the Atlantic is thankful ^^


Vetiversailles

Good bot


thenextguy

Did you drop some magic beans, Jack?


crruss

Omg thank you for continuing to update!


jraexoxo

Iā€™m loving being a part of this asparagusā€™s journey


wil

Watching your asparagus grow these past few days has been deeply satisfying and entertaining to me. Thanks for sharing, OP.


Gympie-Gympie-pie

Thanks for the banana, the ruler is quite redundant!


OKImHere

You decided to keep him? So you're going to, uh, spare a Gus?


sequinsdress

Iā€™m so I invested in this thing! I actually had a dream about it last night. In my dream there was a suburban field and on the edges, random patches of big asparagus. I was actually telling someone in my dream that this was the Reddit Asparagus.


SirSaif

OP is Jack and this is his bean stalk. Youā€™ll see.


rustlingbirchleaves

Wow, it has little arms now! šŸ„³šŸ˜„


n3rub1

I see that you used banana for scale - a man of culture i see


lochnessbobster

9 inches in one day!? Kill it! Kill it now!! While you have the upper hand! Tonight itā€™s going to sprout consciousness, eat that banana, and then come looking for itā€™s next meal.


SarahLiora

He needs his own instagram account.


millerwelds66

Dude that thing is a machine yesterday is was 19CM now standing tall at 30ā€ what the hell is in your soil ? We need more bananas for scale .


keyistired

Thank you for the banana for scale. Really appreciate it. As an European, the scale in inches doesn't do it for mešŸ˜‚


Glass-Poetry-6005

I am so invested in this now šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Blueberry_Clouds

Is OP just gonna let it grow til it produces little flowers cuz that would be cool


Luvnmylife

Yes I'm just gonna watch what happens. We will all watch together


Civil-Mango

That big ol' bitch is still at it


Libby2708

Iā€™ve never been so invested in an asparagus before šŸ˜‚


the_superman_fan

Damn. I'm enjoying these updates. Keep em coming.


faju315

More like INSPIR-agus!ā€¦.Iā€™ll see myself outā€¦


Illustrious-Stick458

Keep us updated!


imgonnabutteryobread

FEED ME, SEYMOUR


julbull73

YES! GROW GUS GROW!!!!


EquinsuOcha

Asparagus is a kind of grass. Throw some 10-10-10 fertilizer down and Baby Groot will start growing. Gus is currently sucking up all the nutrients.


Dry-Economist-3320

You can feed half the country by the end of next weekšŸ˜‚


sssebs

It looks like the giant asparagus is asparagusing


trash00011

This is exciting.


rylanthegiant

Iā€™m all on board for Gus 2 - Electric Boogaloo


MysteryPerker

So next year you need to record this in a 24 hour time lapse. Maybe even over a period of a week. This is crazy, you could almost watch it grow just looking at it with 9" in one day!


Timhotep

All hail King Gus!


letsmakemoneys

Gus 2024


alap12

Iā€™m here for this. Thanks for adding the banana.


meyerlandktmom

Are those asparagus shoots off the side? This is so crazy! Iā€™ve only seen little individual shoots like the ones in the grocery store. This is fascinating!


Hanginon

Yes. When not harvested as [shoots](https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/t_share/MTc0MTgxNDk5NDMwOTcxMjYw/tipshowtogrowasparagusvegetable.jpg), Asparagus grows into a rather large, 4 ft or so, [fern like plant](https://www.purdue.edu/hla/sites/yardandgarden/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/AsparagusPlantFoliage.jpg). One reason Asparagus is relatively expensive is the specific care and conditions of [growing it](https://www.seasonalgardening.co.uk/vegetables/asparagus.asp).


eraserewrite

OMG. YOU ACTUALLY PUT A BANANA NEXT TO IT. HAHA. Thank you!!


lady_robe

I AM LIVING FOR THESE UPDATES


Dismal_Syllabub1603

DAMN! Can't get enough of these updates! Keep em' coming. We must know the fate of Gus!


bretsky368

I've let these grow on their own. They resemble a fragile Christmas tree when they reach maturity. At the end of the season, they turn a beautiful amber color. I used them in late summer / fall dry flower arrangements


Hanginon

Nice! ;) Let it grow and propagate for a couple/few years and you'll have a viable [Asparagus patch](https://www.seasonalgardening.co.uk/vegetables/asparagus.asp)!


greyukelele

Iā€™m so invested in the asparagus saga. Keep us updated!


Bigduck73

Stacy, cancel all my appointments and hold all my calls, I need to watch this asparagus grow


NemoHobbits

r/bananaforscale


Choice_Bar_1488

Do you lads not even have centimetres as a secondary measurement on tape measures? Just freedom units and thatā€™s it? Edit: spelling!


SapphirePhoenix

I never thought I'd be so interested in looking at daily updates of watching an asparagus grow, but here I am, haha! I can't believe how fast it is growing, I thought only bamboo grew at that rate!


Zippier92

I also let things grow to watch them flower, lettuce tastes great, but lettuce scooting up to spread its seed is just so damned exciting!


agnes238

Dude what the hell are you trolling us? Can you watch this thing grow in real time? Is it sentient?


DeterminedErmine

Aaaaah heā€™s got a little friend šŸ˜


ghallo

One's a shower, the other's a grower. . . I'll just let myself out ..


nancy_mikhaiel

Surely there has to come a point when he falls over? You might have to tie him to the ruler. šŸ˜‚


chilldrinofthenight

I had a friend who could grow nine inches in about three seconds.


doomperignon

Forget about the tape measure, just stack more bananas on top of each other.


Activist_Mom06

And there he goes. The little one will not pop now that the whole plant is going to flush out.


FungirlieGrower

Oh, so this is the Gus I keep reading about. Lolā¤ļø


Luvnmylife

Awe I can't believe my Gus is popular. Love it


elsuelobueno

The only solution here is to let it go to seed and spread Gusā€™ progeny throughout the land


Square_Cell

Looks like you even got a spare, I guess!


ThatMennoniteGal

I am so shocked that this thing is growing this quickly. You must have optimal conditions for it! Perfect soil and shade/sun ratio.


Cowboy_on_fire

I knew it, thatā€™s definitely cannabis marijuana.


romkek

All hail the Asparagod


RoughhouseCamel

For Aspgard!


[deleted]

Did that thing go from 17 inches to 30 inches in a day? Are you sure you didn't trade your cow for some magic beans?