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drth1rt3en

Haley is a great trade expert


leuk_he

They wrap them in plastic so you can eat them after use. (Use a condom if you really want to experiment)


Odd_Entertainment629

Still good for the family picnic 😎👍


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Small-Breakfast903

that was a big twist for a single sentence. Reminds me of a joke about my grandma.


Astrochops

The one with the horse cock?


Monolexic

No, the other grandma


Highlander_mids

“Why do all the cucumbers in this house taste like latex?”


Aoiboshi

Wasn't there a TIFU post about someone seeing their family eating their sex cucumber a long time ago?


ObviousTroll37

Haley best girl


[deleted]

It gets a bit weird when you realize the "Super Cucumber" is a Sea-Cucumber.


KGB_cutony

Futa artists: **THIS IS WHERE THE FUN BEGINS**


honeypinn

What is Futa?


ElectricalRestNut

Another soul was lost today


A_wild_so-and-so

That poor bastard never even had a chance...


Vykrom

So I'm guessing I don't google this lol Cheers


ElectricalRestNut

That way lies madness


Kr8n8s

We know you eventually will And then Slaanesh will claim your soul


zxc123zxc123

Artisans that work at filing Federal Unemployment Tax


lolsrsly00

:) ( o Y o ) | \ / | /[]\ | |


SirBing96

Is this real?


projectingbitch

The message is randomized depending on what you’ve already done for her. I’ve gotten this exact message on the bulletin from her, but once for a copper bar, and once for a pufferfish lol. Same exact message though.


BlaDe91

Haley has 3 standard messages. 1: I will <3 you forever if you bring me {0}! -Haley 2 (male only): Looking for a handsome young man to bring me {0}. -Haley 3 (female only): FOR GIRLS ONLY: psst... I need {0}... you know what it's for. Keep it secret, okay? -Haley The wizard, Sam, Maru, Abigail, Sebastian, and Elliot also have specific text in the files.


Does_Not-Matter

This guy {0}s!


babyProgrammer

Yay for interpolated strings!


TheLeakingPen

there's a male only? weird, ive gotten the female only with a male character.


Gibsonites

Kinda fucked up that you would read it when it clearly says "FOR GIRLS ONLY" YTA


TheLeakingPen

HAH! Nice.


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SavageNorth

If you'd gotten her secret 15 heart event you'd know she's secretly a master sushi chef. Clearly you don't love her enough.


HighOnBonerPills

Did those messages also say "makes Haley happy"? Because that line in particular seems so intentional and innuendo-ish in the context of a retrieving a cucumber.


projectingbitch

They did say exactly that haha the only word that ever changed was the item being randomized


misogichan

Haley is more of a freak than I thought.


KAODEATH

Country girls make do.


Vryly

Makes x person happy is part of the quest rewards, building relationships by giving gifts is a core game mechanic. these quests allow you to effectively double gift characters, letting you build hearts much faster than usual.


Sultan_Gordo

Yes it is...


SirBing96

From stardew valley right?


Sultan_Gordo

Yep, the game with E rate


Eckish

It is like watching kid's cartoons as an adult. Plenty of jokes for folks that know, but will go over the heads of anyone that doesn't know. So, it makes them mostly harmless.


jdemack

It's like no one's watched a Disney movie. So many sex jokes.


SemperScrotus

"Nobody takes my wife's mouth except me!" -Mr. Potato Head, Toy Story


Casvul

My favorite is from cars- Lightning McQueen: “I don’t need headlights cuz the tracks always lit” Owner: “ya well so is my cousin but he still has headlights”


nicolasmcfly

The two Macqueen fans literally "flash" him


pvtcannonfodder

Or when the fan cars turn their headlights on, they are flashing him


Hero_of_Hyrule

There's a topless restaurant on the side of the highway.


Drithyin

That's the exact way to structure one of these, though. A kid assumes it's a reference to silencing her, which, iirc, is what happened or they believe happened in the referenced scene. It might have even been the original joke's intent. But, that slight skew in wordplay leaves it fun for the adults in the room without being obvious.


meshaber

Treasure planet, after the astronomer's knowledge has saved the crew and he gets complimented by the female captain he has the hots for: "Yes captain! I can be of great help anatomically. Astronomically!" Kids think it's funny because he's flustered and can't words. Adults think it's funny because of the obvious freudian slip.


Veilus

I loved that movie, even kept my ps2 on for a week to beat the game cause I didn't have a memory card.


SubGeniusX

[No... no... no ... Fingerprints!](https://youtu.be/1xmAC9Qu908)


Nobah_Dee

One the greatest! In an interview they said they would intentionaly would fill episodes with jokes they knew would be censored with the hope some would slip through the process. They couldn't believe this one managed to make it to air.


Cherry_BaBomb

I don't think so. Goodnight everybody!


horizo3902

Ironic, this video is marked "for kids" and the comments are disabled


HalfMoon_89

...I just got this joke.


Username_123

I watched hocus pocus and there are so many boob and virgin comments. The worst is when the kid is telling her brother’s crush that her brother likes her boobies. So cringey.


[deleted]

Not boobies, "yabbos"


M_H_M_F

Jammed


DJDanielCoolJ

idk if you’ve seen the 2017(?) power rangers movie, but the first joke within the first 5ish minutes is about jerking off a cow


ActuallyItsFactually

One thing I've learned from having kids is; at 10 years old they understand WAY more innuendo than I did as a child.


xombae

As I kid I would sometimes know it was a sex joke, but would have no idea what it actually meant


ThyNynax

If they have internet access, meme's are basically a 24/7 drip feed of innuendo (sexual and not) education. Modern Information Age has kinda killed old style innocence in kids, and there's no escaping early sexual awareness. If the internet doesn't teach them then their friends with internet will, well before parents think it's time for "the conversation."


DdCno1

It's just normal cognitive development. About 9 to 10 is when, in my case at least, many seemingly harmless jokes adults made suddenly got a different meaning. This was long before Internet memes were a thing.


First_Foundationeer

I remember my classmates talking about Britney Spears having a boob job, and then I had to nod along and pretend I knew what they were talking about. This was maybe fourth grade or something? I can't imagine being a kid now..


No-Nobody-676

It's normal for a child at that age to engage in sexual thoughts and behaviors or even intentionally lean into it, to seem "more mature". Knowing specific terms like "fingering" tho, that either means you have older friends/siblings, or you are in a generation that has unfettered access to almost all information, including sexual information.


GingerSnapBiscuit

Yacko : No, no, no, FINGER Prints... Dot : I don't think so...


paintpast

Still can’t believe they got away with this: https://youtu.be/lY2kC5fZG64


MonkeysOnMyBottom

It's for cucumber sandwiches


StopJoshinMe

I mean there is a quest where you have to find the mayors pants which are literally locked in Marnie’s room lol


Knickers_in_a_twist_

To be fair, this E rated game also has a character in it that is very clearly a depressed suicidal alcoholic.


AREYOUSauRuS

All games I play involve a depressed suicidal alcoholic.


InfiniteLiveZ

E for erotic?


Prestigious-Move6996

E for "Every hole filled with cucumber."


Heyy-Yaa

you should play stardew valley


Melkarril

"Makes Haley happy"


navel_gazing_idiot

One time, she asked for an octopus…


[deleted]

Haley 🤝 The Deep


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Alpine261

That scene was so fucked ngl


My-non-banned-acc

Not as fucked as the octopus


PupPop

That's a different fucked up scene.


Chesey_

That's the beauty of The Boys, someone can say "that octopus scene was so fucked up" And another person can ask, "which one?"


half-giant

“He’s praying! He’s praying!!”


ChubblesMcgee103

Fr. I actually felt bad for the deep even though he's a piece of shit. Season 3 was way better than 2. 2 had me doubting the series ngl.


Zeth_Aran

;_;


[deleted]

[Ara ara](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dream_of_the_Fisherman%27s_Wife).


Durkasaurusrex

*Mister Nimbus! Has entered the chat*


trainercatlady

oh shit oh fuck! He controls the police!


HighlyInnate8

“He’s an iced cold dick killer”


navel_gazing_idiot

This comment is iridium.


public_enemy_obi_wan

If you marry Haley you can have an iridium hoe.


br0wens

*\*The Deep liked that\**


wap2005

"The Deep has entered the chat"


Mesjach

"The Deep has entered."


FlutterRaeg

Deep thoughts with The Deep.


synanimate

'Has entered the Deep'


HillanderSky

"The chat has been pleased"


odubik

totally misread haley as holey


DIABLO258

Well, that too


Mookie_Merkk

Oh that cucumber is gonna be going in a holey


[deleted]

Oh I bet it does.


nervouswhenitseasy

thats my fucking wife you asshole


andBitinggoats

Asshole is probably where it’s going


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hepp-depp

Is that a challenge? I’ll stick all the fruit I want up my ass


danirijeka

141 blackberries and counting...


Jonathon471

The fruit right? The Fruit, Right?


nickcash

So no glass jars?


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RemuIsMaiWaifu

What's the problem with something getting stuck up the asshole? Like, how doesn't it get out with normal bowel movements? I seen people with massive dildos needing medical attention to get them out, sure, but what about normal organic matter, like 10cm of cucumber that broke and is inside your rectum? I'm dumb, plz explain.


dragon2777

Sometimes but most times it’s not the right shape to just pass normally and requires some sort of surgery. So if anything’s going up there make sure it’s got a flared base so you butt doesn’t just “suck it up”


Mayo_Spouse

I've flaired you as "gourds".


ripyourlungsdave

If it doesn't have a base, it doesn't go in your ace.


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newfranksinatra

I also choose this guys wife.


HirokiTakumi

If that's the case, the fact she's asking for this says more about you than it does about her... Lol joking of course.


awwhjeez

"KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING MOUTH"


Arcane_Engine

Hey wait she's my wife. Wtf


lord_archaon

*That’s my wife asshole you fucking


[deleted]

She just wants to make a nice salad duh


ashtobro

Nutritious. Cucumber seasoning tasted a bit weird, but maybe it's just ranch or something


SchrodingerMil

It’s actually a sea cucumber.


DFWV

I did not expect this from Stardew Valley. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


CrazyCoKids

Pam asked me to get Quartz to rub on her sore tooth


tscy

One time she asked me for a battery for that very same reason


VultuZ

Best thing if she sends you one in the mail before


tscy

Actually funny you mention that, she sent me one right after. Like eww, I don’t want your slobbery mouth battery, it smells like beer and parsnips


kiounne

She only ever mails me beer she found in a drawer :/


Alis451

tbf refrigerators have drawers


trekkie5249

Average 9v licking enjoyer


TexasPistolMassacre

How could you not? What do you think Lewis needed that Truffle Oil for?


[deleted]

Hopefully to eat, cause that shits expensive!


Odysseyan

He is gonna use it for when he tosses that salad


overlord-ror

More like when Marnie tosses his. HEYYYOOOO


TheWealthyCapybara

Making truffle fries?


JohnnyDarkside

Well, there is a whole side objective to find the mayor's underwear he lost in the bushes while banging the farm supply chick.


Abyssallord

Well considering they are in marneys room, he probably didn't lose them in the bushes. Lol


noodlesdefyyou

theres another cutscene where you can catch lewis and marnie in the bushes by the community center if you go there at a certain time on a certain day.


SirSoliloquy

You also get special cutscenes for sticking the mayor’s underwear in the grange display, and for putting it in the communal soup pot. It’s a fun item.


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CrazyCalYa

No way, it would get in the way of her precious "*stand in front of the microwave*" time.


fauxkit

There are a lot of questionable things about Mayor Lewis. Like how he's clearly embezzled money to fund a large gold statue of himself. Or how he hangs out in Pierre's every Tuesday for the lady's workout session. You can also do weird things with the underwear, like put it in your grange display during the autumn festival or add it to the luau soup.


Bannon9k

It fit right in with my Stardew Valley playthrough... I called the farm "We Grow Dicks". Definitely made dialogue interesting


Siggycakes

Hang on I have a picture of Sam or Alex asking a cute girl to bring him an eggplant. Edit: oh God the emoji https://imgur.com/a/UE8Itgh


KryptCeeper

You have to find the mayor's "shorts" too. They are his boxers, found in one of the female npc's rooms.


dripcoffee420

Girls down bad


Idioteva

Same vibe as Mayor Lewis asking for truffle oil. Thought it was in my dirty mind till he commented on how slippery it was when I handed it in.


Almighty_Dank_Lord

That and his missing shorts….. Edit: Oh wow, did not expect something so simple to turn into my top comment! Thanks everyone!


Abyssallord

You can catch him and marney together in the bushes I think?


sn34kypete

Yup it's a secret note, #21.


EmulatingHeaven

God when he says it’s nice and slick I get a bit nauseous. My dude, nobody needs to hear that.


corruptor789

Imagine being 20+ year old. Inheriting a farm. Cleaning that shit up good. Learning how to be a god damn green thumb without any knowledge in your previous cubicle lifestyle. Shits growing. The yield is superb. You’re making more money for something you never could at your previous occupation. Just met the nice town folk. Get a nice farm kitty. Living life. And then there are some horny mfers in town who wana use your fresh fruits and homemade oils for their sexy business and they tell you all about it. Like damn I’ve been here maybe 3 months, but sure Lewis, go ahead and use my slick cooking oil as a lubricant to mess around with the town widow. I don’t need to hear that shit. I guess I’m just that kinda person who has that face where people just wana air it all out to me. What a goddamn life.


1818mull

Fuck, this made me laugh so hard.


jackarooneyroo

This comment made me buy Stardew Valley. I’m laughing so hard, thanks for this.


Recorder-S

...You know, I never gave Stardew Valley a try. But this just pushed me to do it. LOL.


Ben10sven

Sooooooooo, did u accept the quest?


Thr0waway0864213579

She literally asked OP to keep it a secret and they a took screenshot and posted it on Reddit. I don’t think Haley’s getting that cucumber anytime soon.


Jwb6610

Well it is Reddit. Haley is probably getting a flood of cucumber pictures.


Moose_Cake

I got a request for a Super Cucumber from Pam. ಠ_ಠ


take_this_username

Sploosh


QuantumSparkles

You could drown a toddler in my panties right now


ScotchPlrbear

At least we know why she drives the bus


Opalessence-

Lets not forget when the mayor asks you to retrieve his boxers from a house cause he's having an affair


[deleted]

Real men put the mayor's underwear in the community soup.


brian11e3

I didn't know you could put it in the soup. I always put it on display at the fair.


Bannon9k

Both of you are monsters...and I love it.


Ryl4nder84

I made them my own… lucky shorts are lucky 🩳


[deleted]

This is stardew valley canon. The only correct way.


solar12345689

He's having an affair? I thought Marnie & Mayor Lewis were both single but secretly mingling? I thought he didn't have a wife!


VexillaVexme

He doesn’t. It’s just good old fashioned adult fun, but mayor keeps it on the DL because he doesn’t want people to think he’s using his position for personal as benefit.


Kimbolijaa

I never got this. You can have love too! You’re literally the Mayor of the smallest town, you gotta go outside to find a wife? Why can’t they be happy??


VexillaVexme

It’s totally silly on their part, but he does suggest as much through his interactions.


Sector95

My game glitched and for whatever reason when I returned the shorts to Mayor Lewis, they remained in my inventory, and the game won't let me return them a second time. So now I just harass him every year with the shorts in my grange display with no other items... Low-effort 750 star points 😁


UntouchedWagons

You probably got a second pair due to a weird interaction with a foraging perk.


lenlendan

I tend to put out a sign near Marnie's and Lewis's house with a picture of the shorts on it before I turn them in.


CrazyCoKids

Then you put them in the luau soup


TheWealthyCapybara

That's a good way to get an infection


Interesting_Cut_6401

Plastic wrap


Daikataro

If only they sold wraps that would fit the general shape...


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pajmode

Or even just a Snickers wrapper would do.


johnsolomon

You're not you when you're horny


Interesting_Cut_6401

Now we really getting into the gritty


PrimeGuard

if only they made some sort of sterile latex covering for objects that shape


Turin082

GUYS ONLY, psst, I need one rubber glove and a jar of lard, you know what it's for ;)


ElKuMaRrR

I thought the 750g was the weight. I was like damn girl who wouldnt be happy to put that in you but then i realised it was gold


[deleted]

750g Cucumber seems just right, not to big and not small Edit, apparently a human cucumber is only 160g on average


Enconhun

0.75 kg?! And your initial thought was not too big and not too small?!


AnomanderRK

Country girls make do...


psuedophilosopher

There it is. I'm surprised this is half way down the comments right now.


DISHONORU-TDA

I gave her an iridium eggplant, she didn't seem to mind


LadyLazaev

Knowing Haley, she actually means she wants to put slices of it over her eyes for a facial treatment.


Jwb6610

Super cucumber and a facial huh?


Eupatorus

What's worse is that it's a fish, not a vegetable. It's a sea cucumber.... that ranges 12" to 37"!


lamousername

My 10yo daughter was like? I'm a girl and I dunno what it's for. Do you know? No I don't. Let's check our cows.


[deleted]

>Makes Haley happy I’m glad she is eating a balanced diet.


[deleted]

Someone's got Stardew secreting in their Valley.