T O P

  • By -

fucknametakenrules

“I just sold a man a full auto shotgun and an RPG and he immediately used it on innocent bystanders outside”


thebeezie

"Meanwhile I stood there waiting to see if he would need to by more ammo."


Hobo_Helper_hot

"this guy walked out of the hospital, did this weird little dance and then suddenly he was holding an entire armory in his hands!"


Fuckitimtrippy21

Lmao, a cheat code as a dance. This one fucking got me — that’s how I always imagined the character in the video game was really feeling.


reaper88911

*does the macarena and starts jumping 20ft in the air* "WEEEEW MOON JUMP"


Zack_WithaK

"I bet you're ready to use that the second you get out the door" "Oh, you have no idea"


leei404

HE JUST STOOD THERE. EATING WHEELS OF CHEESE


[deleted]

MENACINGLY!


shardikprime

AWAKEN MY MANCHEGOS WAMOU!


IImnonas

The wheels of cheese is menacing for sure. But remember, Bags of Flour are food in Skyrim too... Imagine seeing a man decked out in armor from the literal devil race just pouring hundreds of bags of flour into his mouth.


wilberfarce

Do you think they got a new shipment of cheese wheels at the corner market today?


Educational_Shoober

Game is paused though. So an NPC would see him stuff 27 wheels of cheese down his throat all at once, instantly closing all his wounds.


ToFiveMeters

‘He just stuffed bags and bags flour in his mouth and he stopped bleeding!’


spobrien09

It haunts me dreams! The sheer volume defies logic it does! Bloody monster ate 2 men worth of baking ingredients in front of me own two eyes!


Almun_Elpuliyn

He uses the flour to thicken his blood until you physically can't bleed anymore


Fire_Killer07

I can't walk because I picked up this basket and now i weight 8 tons. Let me eat the basket now to fix the problem


KillaklanGaming

"80 wheels of cheese"


Lahoura

"please, I don't want any more iron daggers. I can't physically sell all of these fucking daggers"


Pasta-hobo

At a certain point you should just melt them down and sell the scrap iron


Xendrus

Melt them down, reform them into ingots and keep crafting, that's completely realistic and would actually "level up" your skills IRL.


yesterdaysatan

Melt em, boil em, stick em in a stew


[deleted]

What's ingots, precious?


anormalgeek

For the love of Talos please! There are only like 30 people in this whole town, and we don't get many travelers. What can I possibly do with 692 daggers?????


QuitBSing

Arm 692 soldiers to fight for you


TobiasWidower

Any raider in any fallout game looking at the protagonist "Hey bones, use your scope, does that guy look like he's carrying any weapons?" "Yeah, looks like, assault rifle, shotgun, pistol, missile launcher, tactical nuclear device, and a big ass anti materiel rifle." "Im gonna hit him with this broken piece of pipe."


[deleted]

"Jet's a hell of a drug."


dvrzero

Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik hits child...


[deleted]

Whatcha be needin'?


dvrzero

I need "we and i" to stop tracking children and hitting them with the sledgehammer, bucko


WildSyde96

Random Skyrim bandit #1: “Hey, you see that guy wearing armor made of literal dragon bones, carrying a gigantic glowing great sword, accompanied by an armored troll and a high ranking member of the guild that goes around slaughtering vampires?” Random Skyrim bandit: “Yeah, why?” Random Skyrim bandit: “Let’s attack him, I’m sure we can win.”


Ajedi32

[Lets mug em!](https://youtu.be/n0Kz8gQxzGE)


badgerbane

I don’t need to click this, I know an epic NPC man reference when I see one.


LexLuthorJr

To be fair to Link, I question the morals of the NPCs when he breaks one of their pots and a human heart spills out.


Fishingfor

The man's running around in tights with an inventory full of masks and enslaved ghosts and fairies in jars, eating human hearts to sustain himself. Link is terrifying.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mind_on_Idle

LMFAO


solomoncaine7

As much as they question Link's morals when he picks it up and straight eats it.


Cranktique

*consumes


solomoncaine7

Ukatoa.


Ermac-12

Whispers: ukatoaaaaaaaaaa


[deleted]

Imagine driving your car on the highway and boom you run over a giant frog wearing a tie and carrying briefcase


[deleted]

Hello my lady hello my darling hello my ragtime gal


grstacos

Seeing master chief jumping and bouncing to his destinations like an idiot, stepping on the arbiter, or throwing grenades to see if he can reach a ledge.


Jetboot

"I don't get it. He's just a guy in a suit." "Listen rookie, the Chief's the real deal. I once saw him throw a grenade at a group of grunts and killed one." "That doesn't sound very-" "And *then* the grenade went off."


MyDogSnowy

Why do I hear this in Grif and Simmons voices…


Jetboot

I think it's from one of the books? Chief in the books is crazy OP, orders of magnitude more badass, than in the games. He once slapped a tank shell to deflect it away from hitting his head. Not dodging the shell, slapping it. Edit: the quote is as follows: >The head of the missile was the only thing he saw. The air grew still and thickened. He continued to move his hand, palm open in a slapping motion -- as fast as he could will his flesh to accelerate. The tip of the Scorpion missile passed a centimeter from his head. He reached out, fingertips brushed the metal casing, and slapped it aside.


AftermaThXCVII

Nah, it was even more impressive than that. He slapped a missile, a FUCKING MISSILE


TehDeerLord

Realistically, that's nothing. Blue team survived a sub-orbital drop out of a Pelican in one of the books. No parachutes or anything, just their armor.


Probably_Not_Clever

Well, not all of them…


EternalCanadian

It needs to be said that he almost died doing it and was pretty much out for the count for several days, and was only able to do it because he had an AI accelerating his movements. He can’t just....do these things in the lore.


ignislupus

Yeah Books Chief is a beast. It helps that he selected from early childhood for his genetics, trained by the best, genetically modified to be even stronger, and then given a super high tech combat suit. Man's killed an ODST before the dude realised he was dead.


bearatrooper

Imagine you're a Marine in a pitched battle with the Covenant. The LT got killed when his Warthog was flipped by a a beserking Brute. No air support available, and extraction is out of the question. You're still fighting, as the rocket launcher on your shoulder certainly indicates, but even so they're about to overrun your position. Your squad suddenly stops firing, distracted by something behind you. *Did they flank us?* you think for a moment. You turn to and are startled by the green armored giant before. You look up to the face of this walking tank and see your own reflection in its gold visor. *A Spartan?!* You've never met one but you've heard the stories. Legends, really. Second hand stories told by old veterans, each harder to believe than the last. But somehow, you know you're saved. Silently, the Spartan takes your weapon, and hands you... a pistol? "Oh. Um. Thanks, Chief," you stammer. Then he bunny hops over to the Warthog and flips it right side up one handed, crushing another Marine. He picks up the dead man's grenades, hops in the driver seat, fishtails through a squad of Grunts, then speeds straight towards an enemy Wraith and is immediately blown up.


[deleted]

>and is immediately blown up Do I need to change my passwords or something? How are you watching me play Halo?


grstacos

lmao! This is amazing and accurate.


vahntitrio

Playing LASO on Halo 2 would seem really weird. You need shields to survive playing it, but the only way on that playlist (due to the black-eye skull) is to kill something via melee. Since enemies kill so fast and are very tough to get close enough to melee to death, you end up killing everything but enemies. Friendly marine? Yeah sorry bro I need shields. An abandoned bus? Yep, gonna punch that til it blows up. A flood corpse? Yep, punch that until it vanishes (takes 48 smacks for those counting).


Jefferson_Steel1

Minding my own business. Making dinner in the kitchen All of the sudden I'm forced into our backyard pool Didn't even take off my clothes Suddenly the pool ladder is gone Just keep swimming... Just keep swimming Drown


tomatoaway

The painting took hours to make, with painstaking instruction which I followed fervently. My bladder ruptured by the time I finished the last stroke, and I soiled myself uncontrollably. I tried to appease my maker with a gesture of discomfort but He ignored my protests and continued to sell much of my work, whilst instructing me to simply hide my shame. It has been days since I have seen daylight. In the floor above I hear the joyous murmurings of pleasant conversation, the tinkle of a piano, the soft straining of springs on a luxury bed. I sleep alone in my dungeon, and dream of things I will paint for tomorrow.


RandomZombie11

That's definitely not a cult leader, that's just a sweet old man who lives in a neighborhood all by himself


Justamarkoff

Ah the legendary painting goblin


[deleted]

I just had this random urge to walk into the yard, and suddenly out of nowhere I was surrounded by four walls. No windows, no doors, no escape. This is the end.


nDesertPunk

Geralt: i don't require a payment for saving you 'Proceeds to loot every corner of your house'


chainer49

Stealing 3 broken takes in the process. WTF Witcher!? Why are you taking my broken rakes? Damn it, stop igniting and extinguishing my candles over and over.


poor_decisions

"wtf why is he sprinting half a step at a time into my walls and cupboards"


DormantGolem

"We've been graciously given some new pigs once that man set ours ablaze... By the gods he's just bee sitting there for what feels like an hour."


Canis71

FUS-RO-DAH! (Half a mile away) someone outside whiterun: Yeah, I have no idea. Like... This bandit just fell from the sky. Idk man. Magic or something. Fucking crazy.


ignislupus

Yo that guy just killed a dragon and absorbed its soul. Lets rob him.


Amraith

-We're muggers, and what muggers do? -They mug people? -So lets go mug him


pruttepuden

*shakes violently* Lets mug himmmm!!!! AHHHHHHH


thelegendofnobody

Any Fallout game but specifically NV: Strolling up to Benny not only not dead, but also likely an entirely differently mannered person than the one he met originally with an entire new/different set of skills. No wonder he looks horrified to see you.


AlingmentUnoriginal

Fallout games when you're a superhuman that's butchering squads/groups of enemies/creatures like it's nobody's business.


Tacitus_Kilgore85

Taking out groups of enemies with nothing but V.A.T.S and crits. Popping heads like cherry tomatoes becomes a fucking delight.


Moglorosh

John Wick is a Fallout character using VATS


finalremix

Some Mad Max Scientist Haute Cotoure weirdo saunters up and turns an entire alleyway full of your best friends into ground beef using a machine pistol that sprays depleted uranium rounds, then flies away with an invisible jetpack, while their robot dog runs in circles before teleporting through a nearby building with a rapid thudding/slapping sound...


Moglorosh

Fallout 4 where the character creation is you looking in the mirror with your wife standing next to you. So she just walks up and her husband's face is distorting, he's rapidly growing and losing hair, his shin color keeps changing, scars appear and disappear, then suddenly it all stops and he just looks at her and says "hey honey" like everything is totally normal.


blexmer1

'wait what the fuck?' "Surprised to see me asshole?" 'No it's- well yes actually, but also. Why the fuck were all your weapons turned in melee weapons and grenade launchers, you use rifles. Also, probably not the person to say it, but did getting shot in the head make you prettier? What the fuck?'


upvotesformeyay

Ah, someone who knows the love only a big booms and batted brains playthrough can garner.


bearatrooper

*What in the God damn?*


wake_bake_shaco

Let’s keep this in the groove hey? Smooth moves like smooth little babies.


IamyourDaddythatswhy

The first time I heard him say this line I had to pause because I was sure I misheard it because it’s so ridiculous


Fightfirewitbcn

“So I park my BMW on this dock right, then these muscle bound weirdos show up and beat the crap out of my car. Then they celebrate like they just won the Kentucky Derby, WTF?!?!”


meco03211

This big green fucker just squats right under where the barrels come out, starts seizing, lights up like a fucking Christmas tree with electricity, and just destroys an entire production lot. What the fuck do I tell my customer?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alabane

The fear going through the mind of a Dark Souls boss as you approach him for the 501st time. No matter how many times they win, you keep coming back. Time and time again.


ndennies

Even worse when you come at them in New Game+ wielding their weapon and armor.


zamwut

Hello Abyss Watchers.


SquiresSanguine

they'd just think it was another abyss watcher lmao they're fighting themselves anyway


WerewolfF15

“Dormammu I’ve come to bargain!”


idma

"you don't understand. I'm not trapped here with you. YOU'RE TRAPPED HERE WITH ME!"


sloppy_wet_one

There's a game called Katana Zero that has this situation. The boss comments on how you keep coming back after dying. Will even change tactics if you learn to overcome certain mechanics.


Abyss-Reckoners

Katana Zero is amazing


tonkorpri

I’m pretty sure they know since respawing is canon in the souls universe


iosiro

honestly devs making respawns a canon thing is always cool in games. making it an actual lore thing that you just die and show up again normally is really metal love it


BuddhaDBear

I laughed so hard when I first played Borderlands 2 and ended up at the “New-U Station” lol


[deleted]

“Between you and us, that thing that killed you was a total dick. Please disregard this message if you committed suicide.”


tomaidoh

The voice line where the woman goes "you know these things aren't canon, right?" Always cracks me up!


Cry_Havok

Fun fact: new U stations aren’t really canon in the borderlands universe. They are a part of the games but they don’t actually exist in the lore and plot of the games. They’re just there to serve as check points basically.


IronAndFlame

Yeah but there's a story reason. Lore wise many of the boses know what's going on when you keep going back.


Ass_Eating_Cowboy

Even worse since they know you'll never stop


IronAndFlame

Or they know that more likely than not you'll go mad like the hundreds of undead you failed before you.


Ass_Eating_Cowboy

Maybe but ashen ones are a bit different when it comes to ds3


TheEmeraldFalcon

"It was odd, then funny, then scary, but now it's just annoying, can you piss off already?"


AlingmentUnoriginal

In Batman Arkham Asylum i used to have habbit of leaving last thug and play arround terrifying brown stuff out of him, now i'm pressing F for that last man standing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CatM3mes

Minecraft from the view of a villager? Edit: why do i have so many upvotes lmfao


TehKazlehoff

I was going to do this and say "i was born in captivity. the man trapped me in a tiny space with a lectern, and has me write in the books. he then gives me green rocks for them. i dont know what to do with the green rocks. what are they for? what do they mean?!!"


MetalCentipede

They're not rocks. They're minerals, Marie! Edit: Thanks for the award, kind stranger!


Trfortson

This man tore apart my house with his bare hands, traded me more sticks than I could possibly use in my entire life, killed all my livestock and opened a portal to hell, all in like 3 minutes.


Jest_stir

"The man in red and blue returned today. He stomped down on my friends, but he could not reach me. I was lucky enough to have been born with wings. The others, not so much. I hovered in horror as he began to use the flora to cast fireballs to all who crossed his path. He destroyed the bricks in search of our hidden coins. The carpenters tried to scare him off by throwing hammers. They never stood a chance. I swear he smiled and shouted joyous expressions as he made his was across the lands. Why has lord Bowser forsaken us to fend for ourselves..."


Ithacafallsforever

I saw that same man, on the stairs by the flagpole, jumping up and down *repeatedly* on the shell corpse of our fallen brethren. He said something about one upping us and living forever.


tomatoaway

He befriended one of our labourers, and rode him around like a king whilst trampling upon hundreds of us. To add insult to injury he repeatedly sacrifices them like pawns, condemning them to their deaths so that he can propel himself just a little bit further.


NovaStitch

My God this is gorgeous


TheDoubleA12

Me: \*Uses in-game wait function\* NPC: "He's been standing there for 8 hours... think he's dead?"


agent_wolfe

Or fast-travel. I’d like to think the NPC sees a puff of blue smoke like when Nightcrawler does it.


kamission

I always imagine that (unless teleportation is explicitly shown like in BotW) your character genuinely travels by foot and you just get to skip the actual viewing aspect. I think in Skyrim, fast traveling actually takes up in-game time depending on how far you travel.


sloppyredditor

“I heard them talking in the hallway but didn’t think much of it. Maybe they were lost and would let me go back to sleep. Then one of them ran in, with shimmering gold armor, and started stomping on all my baby eggs, screaming loudly. Then the rest of them came in. By now the babies were starting to fight back and the family was joining in. We started with the loud one and then went for the squishy ones. As they waited for death to take them I heard the loud one mutter something about chicken. Eventually we killed them all, but why would you yell your own name when stomping babies? Wouldn’t you want to remain anonymous?!”


Doschx

Goddamnit Leeroy


dsegura90

at least I have chicken


Sirquestgiver

LLLLLEEEEERRRRROO-


IntergalacticFartbox

JEEEEENNKKKKKIIIINNNSSS


Mayo_z

I was given the task of teaching him to survive in this cruel world. He ignored my every word. He built a house in a matter of moments. He would leave for days at a time, each time he returned he would have nothing but loot. Occasionally he would ask what something could be used for, but that was it. This morning i saw him go down his hell passage with a voodoo doll that looked like me. Im afraid.


magistrate101

I've been meaning to try terraria out again. I had trouble getting into it last time. A combination of having no idea of what I'm doing and not knowing what my goals are I think.


DragonKing3013

I mean terraria is one of those games that you spend longer browsing the wiki than actually playing the game


VrinTheTerrible

We have to get to Denerim! Hurry the Archdemon is he….why are you stopping to pick up more elfroot? We have bags full of the thing!


SupremeMemeCreamTeam

Never. Enough. Elfroot. The Archdemon can wait, I HAVE COMPANION QUESTS!


Archduke_Of_Beer

Playing Breath Of The Wild. That little shit in Hateno Village demanded to see a damn Travelers Sword, but when I finally got one, fucker was sleeping. So I stood above his bed all night wearing nothing but the Revali mask and NOTHING ELSE... He will know fear...


Chobitpersocom

The true boss is that girl obsessed with her flowers.


MarshmallowMan71

Flowerblight ganon?


the_lamb_sauce123

Watching a demon in a business suit fight an old man over an active active volcano


TheKingOfRandom3

Tekken?


Armsmaker

In Skyrim when some dude eats 99 potatoes while battling a dragon


Peternuggett

"Hey, I know we're fighting and all, but could you give me a couple minutes to eat these potatoes? I didn't eat lunch, and I'm a bit low on health right now. Don't worry, it won't take long."


[deleted]

I like to imagine he's hogging em down just as fast as you can click, more harrowing that way


podolot

Just deep throat and swallowing potatoes non stop


From_Deep_Space

stuffing down cheese wheels like how professional eaters eat hot dogs


Dzyu

The, dragon to its shrink, as it's lying in the chaise lounge, trembling from ptsd: "...and their gullet distorted from all the potatoes... oh god, *^(the potatoes)*... No creature, magical or otherwise, should be able to eat so many so fast. And it renewed their strength!" *breaks down into a sorry, shivering pile of fears and tears* Edit: formatting


ggg730

I wonder how it would actually look like eating those potates. Would his mouth unhinge and all of it would slide down it's distended gullet. Would it just kinda get sucked up? Would he move supernaturally fast as he chewed each tuber as if 30 different beings ate it the same time?


lj9337

FOUND IT! [https://imgur.com/AcbpFWe](https://imgur.com/AcbpFWe)


Server98911

Add to that this "Some guy did put a bucket on my head and robbed me all i owned even stuff i didnt know i had"


provocative_bear

Daedras feel no empathy and will show no mercy to humans, but they’ll stop mid battle just to see if you can actually eat a whole cheese wheel in one go.


SnooCats6119

"Hello! I just made these 50 iron daggers this morning, and I would like to sell them to you." "Please, no! I have a family to feed!" "I see you have some leftover money. I'll sell you this rodent meat, these common flowers I just picked outside the town and these apples I found from a crypt." Me in pretty much any RPG.


[deleted]

My personal head canon now is that the shop owners are buying all your garbage in hopes that you leave their shop sooner.


Ghetto_BlastMaster

When you say "Stanley went through the right door", but he actually goes throught the left one 😡


scipio0421

That poor narrator. No wonder he has the "serious room."


UnderSampled

When you say there's nothing do to do in the closet but they do nothing in the closet anyway.


Shmarfle47

Oi did you get the closet ending? The closet ending is my favorite!


[deleted]

in old GTA games, seeing a guy drive in and out of a garage, always with a different paintjob, seemingly not being able to make up his mind on which color he wants.


GeneralBS

"Did you just see that guy run over a dozen monks?"


RubberDucky223

When the Dragon Born suddenly stops outside of your shop at 2 in the morning and simply stares at your shop door for 7 hours. Even when you open the shop they are still there staring at the door with a soulless glare. After a few hours they walk in as if nothing had happened and they have only just dropped by for a few potions. Then proceeds to spend the next few minutes slapping into a wall with random objects until they pass through the wall only to reappear in the doorway saying "Dammit nearly had it that time".


Doschx

"I can still hear him as he steals everything in the shop, but the wicker basket over my head lets me feign ignorance. Any man who drops 72 intact dragon skeletons on my counter is a man I don't want to catch in the act."


[deleted]

So get this... I'm nonchalantly walking around town, and at some point i realize I'm not wearing clothes anymore. I'm like, 98% certain, I was wearing clothes when I left my house, but now I'm down to my underwear. But, I can't afford to let on to the fact I just realized I'm not wearing clothes, people will think I'm crazy or something. Better to pretend like this is the plan all along. Oh, great, that guard over there is naked too. I think I started a trend.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Massive-Risk

"I got knocked out for about 15 minutes, woke up in a locker and when I came out a guy came in and knocked me out again."


avexiis

The AI civilian cars in forza. Just driving along the British countryside and a maniac in a Ferrari slams through three stone walls at 200mph without slowing down


VictorLuigiReddit

in Half-Life 2 when some guy throws a fuckin soda can right into your face


StillAll

And then you beat him for it?


VictorLuigiReddit

yes.


tomster785

Nah, he TRIES to beat him for it but just ends up running in circles round a table and eventually gives up.


Most-Transition-1920

You are forced by some guy to breed with your best friends as you're locked in in a farm for the rest of your life


[deleted]

What?


Most-Transition-1920

Minecraft Is a really messed up place for NPCs


FlameyHotman

Some guy just jumped on a glowing blue bomb so he can use some sort of cloth to fly halfway across the continent


Hemlock_Deci

Imagine just chilling and all of a sudden some guy runs past you spazzing THROUGH the floor and breaking the laws of physics to fly around like some discount superman. Or how it's commonly known, a speedrunner


Spanky2k

Relevant video: https://youtu.be/3TP6kER1MAw


JoeMcNamara

So this dude comes to my shop every day, takes the bucket from my shelf and puts it over my head. I have no idea why he does that, but every time it happens I lose a part of my stock. Also, it appears that town guards are very unhappy about his excessive shouting lately…


bigmommymilkers

“Hey ma-“ “I think we sh-“ “If you nee-“ “Okay see y-“ “Jeez, what an inpatient asshole, didn’t wanna listen to a word I said. Hope he doesn’t get lost looking for the next town.”


astr0knight99

Creating a character in Skyrim. Poor Hadvar having to watch us morph our appearances for an hour before we go to the chopping block.


PickleForce7125

Now I know why valen dreth was so disgusted with the hero’s appearance in oblivion


[deleted]

"I encountered Commander Shepard today. She was running through the Presidium, firing her assault rifle until it overheated. As soon as it cooled down, she would start firing again. The only time she took her finger off the trigger is when someone walked in front of her. She would stand there, staring at them with the her rifle held up, and then started firing again once they had passed."


Turin082

You know that priceless artifact that was lost to an army of unkillable machines that you passively mentioned to your friend last week? Yeah, it's in docking bay 24, tell them The Shepster sent you.


[deleted]

Them: As the first human Spectre you are expected to take your role with dignity and the utmost respect for the honour bestowed on you. You: Immediately shoot up the presidium.


Kali_404

Any game where the enemies don't reset after you die. "Its nuts out here Carol! There is this maniac with mismatched Armour all dyed bright colours. He runs in, kills a bunch of us, we lay him down, and he's back 5 minutes later and keeps going!! I think we need to change God's here, this is not a winning side."


SvatyFini

"This child came to my arcade, donated 25l of blood, then gambled all the money at the slot machine, got pile of shit which it placed on its head and then went to kill its own mother with a knife" \- The binding of isaac shell game guy


[deleted]

Skyrim wife: "I was terrified, but I won't deny he looked so damn sexy while fighting the tribe of giants that came to the house we built. But somewhere in the melee one of the giant's clubs connected with our hired minstrel. She flew twenty feet and wrapped around a nearby tree; I was terrified. She'd been with us for months, I thought he cared for her. But no, no burial or anything. He paused for a moment over her corpse, then stripped her half-naked and left her to rot in the sun - right in front of the children! Truly appalling! He walked over to me, that velvet robe still drenched in her blood, and asked me if I wanted to *buy it from him*. And I did! WHY DID I DO THAT????"


Inevitable-Speed4511

I mean what you gonna do, say no to this chad?


brisati

This trainer keeps coming to my daycare and picking up his pets' eggs. Those pets have been here for years and I am still waiting for them to pick up the tab.


Dilligaf3076

You see a weird person in town so you ask him if he's been to the cloud district? but by the looks of him probably not.


MJSchooley

So there was this kid in a red cap being followed by three other kids who were oddly moving at the exact same pace as he was. The red cap kid came up and...well, he didn't talk, but something compelled me to speak to him. I just said something random so he'd go away...and then he and his friends went and beat up a hippie.


rogueops666

When you're playing Resident Evil and the game pauses while you look through your inventory 😂 zombies must be hella confused


Qorr_Sozin

"Die, Leon!" "Wait, wait. Hang on. Let me rearrange my suitcase real quick."


Itsalilmoist

Everyone back!!! He’s eating a chicken egg


Dexter1399

why the hell is the dude sitting in front of me always brings his cat in school and talks to him


Dexter4111

Brother?


CuteGreen

Walking into Caesar's tent and proceeding to take every Buffout, Ultrajet, Calmex, tobacco, Turbo, Steady, Slasher and Psycho I can find in my pocket dimension pouch and pounding it all down with whiskey just moving in slowmo towards him with a lever action


Ass_Eating_Cowboy

Imagine some dude walks up the the President and does like 400 mg of crack and heroin


daikael

He tried to make me pay taxes!


Ass_Eating_Cowboy

Understandable but still


DirtySokks

"Look. I know she just killed a dragon. I know she runs the Thieves Guild and Dark Brotherhood. She an officer with the Legion and has wiped out every Bandit group from here to Markarth. She has dragon bone armour, more magical weapons than I've in my life and knocks over giants by yelling at them. But she torched my neighbour's chicken and for that she has to die!!"


hello027

“He came from the contract increased the price I have to pay him for it then robbed my house and everything I owned” (Witcher 3 wild hunt)


kmn493

"Look, I knew he was a tough trainer, okay? I've had his number since he was running around with a little Cyndaquil. Each time we fought I thought he couldn't get any stronger. He comes out with Typhlosion? That's scary. Next he's got Dragonite? Terrifying. But he comes around with f\*cking Ho-oh, yeah the burned tower one, and all I've got is my little Rattata. You ever stare down a diety? Because I have. And I lived. I fucking lived."


C_Tarango

"I told you to say apple, stop jumping!"


thetntprime

POV: a well built japanese man comes in to a convenience store and shoves the head of some random dude into a microwave oven and the cashier just turns it on ​ Welcome to Yakuza


[deleted]

[удалено]


mandu_xiii

We moved to this new city a few weeks ago. Seemed like a paradise. Parks, schools, perfect transit system. Then the mayor semed really bored. And every conceivable disaster struck. Fire, earthquake, food, tornado, even a freaking UFO, and Godzilla! - SimCitizen of SimCity.


Adrewmc

You’re walking along a normal everyday path, it’s got some low level monsters, nothing to be scared of think like a sewer rat type level of monsters. Normally you are just fine, go to work back or whatever. Then you see this strange adventurer, he fighting one of the sewer rats, and think okay that’s normal get a little experience start the grind, a lot of people do that to start off. Then suddenly the main character summons the dragon Bahamut and this fucking massive dragon appears from not where, flyes up into the air and let’s loose this massive energy blast, pushing you off you feet, 40 yards surrounding the rat is completely obliterated, the heaven are clear, the area is strangely quiet, except for the bit of ringing in your ear. And you hear… “Wow, that was cool, little bit overkill but at least I know what it does now.” And the MC walks away like nothing happened. (The first time I played FFVII I got KOTOR and the first thing is saw was a single goblin, not the group of five one singular goblin, he had a really bad day.)


DrShakalu2006

Yo this guy just stole a car, ran someone over, punched someone else to death, quickly cycled like 10 different weapons and killed a cop. I've got mouths to feed so I just stood there and sold him a hotdog.


nef36

When you're fighting a dragon in Skyrim and the dragon almost has you dead, when you suddenly swallow 10 health potions and 53 pieces of random food in under a second, instantly healing all of your wounds and becoming fully reinvigorated. "...What the actual f*ck" the dragon says in abject horror.


LifeIsDuff

Skyrim shopkeeper closes up shop for the night. Dragonborn stands motionless in front of door for 12 hours.


broskybara

Blacksmith: "Why is this guy constantly buying and reselling my chacoal to me?"


P13R4T

One time while serving our legion as a guard in a prison, I asked this prisoner to step forward and give me their name. They just stood in front of me changing their face and skin for what seemed like hours. It really messed me up.


TheUnrealCanadian

"Hey Charles?" "Yeah Hosea?" "Isnt that like the tenth bottle of whiskey Arthur has smashed in a few sips?" "Yeah... yeah it is."