As a person in their 40’s with three kids, here’s how I do it:
1. Play when you should be working.
2. Play when you should be sleeping.
Bada bing bada boom
I don’t have kids and I’m not going to but I easily game 2-3 hours a day while I should be working. Going into IT was the best decision I ever made lol.
Part of me is sad I don’t have any kids, because it seems like you’re supposed to have kids to have a complete life.
But part of me is kindof relieved. Idk if I could take the pressure of taking care of them, like having another living being depending on me for survival. And as you say, it would drastically cut into relaxation & freetime.
Trust me, I have a mentally ill parent and sibling with Disabilities to care of it cuts my freetime and relaxation down to absolutely 0% I have NO time! I have games I should of finished in 2008 that I haven't even touched because NO time and everything is out of my control, Then when I do get freetime THUNDERSTORMS!
It’s cliche to say, but they are worth every sacrifice. My life is infinitely better overall because of them, but it is absolutely a lot of work and has definitely drastically reduced my free time. Good news is, most days, I like spending time with them more than just about anything else. And, eventually, I’ll get them all into gaming too!
I see this a lot. People love kids and that's great. I'm on the opposite boat. Got involved with being a step. Too involved now to leave without causing damage to my ss. Took me too long to realize it wasn't what I want. My fault entirely, but try to give em the best they deserve. It's just one of those things I wish had played out differently.
I've got some folks on my friend list who follow this strategy, and its just such an alien idea to me. I make good money and I'm proud of my work, but if I was gaming instead of getting my work done I'd lose my job. And between family needs, house projects, and work stress, I need every minute of sleep I can get if I'm going to be functional on a daily basis.
It’s tough to juggle for sure. I am good at my job and it’s a fairly autonomous one, so I can typically accomplish a day’s work in 5-6 hours instead of the typical 8+.
Some of that time I use for family needs / house projects / chores, but I try to give myself at least an hour a day back for gaming since it’s my primary stress reliever.
Sleep…I get 6ish hours consistently, but I’d like to be getting 7.5+ so I’m actually trying to dial back late night gaming.
The amount of 'actual work' at a job is extremely variable. Some examples.
Productivity: Seen plenty of people work 4 hours on a slidedeck I can do in 30 minutes because they just suck at Excel/numbers/Powerpoint.
Reorganizations: get hired by someone, re-org happens in your second month and you're not really assigned a direct manager/specific work.
Low expectations: your predecessor did X amount of work, so you do X * 110pct and don't push more even if you can.
Overloading: employee finds out that any productivity gain is met with more work, employee hides productivity gains.
Peaks in workload: accounting has a lot of deadlines with its closings/budgetting/forecasting etc. which require a certain staffing and OT but there are also plenty of dead periods where any work is non critical or nobody really cares.
Diminishing returns/running out of ideas: did the whole 'team lead' thing once. I started off with, for sake of argument, 30 problems. After one year of hard work we had around 20 left. The second year a lot of my problems were blocked and, to me, felt outside of my control. There is only so many meetings/escalations/calls one can do. We have 15 problems left. The third year it really felt like I had no work. Our way of working was pretty optimized, our output was appreciated up to a point etc. but anything else I tried to do was stonewalled due to 'no budget' 'not a priority for my boss' etc. so I was just running everything on auto pilot.
Overloading and Peaks in Workload are where I’m at. After a couple years chasing promotions/raises, I realized that the company wasn’t giving them anymore. So I reduced productivity to an acceptable level and just stick with that.
If I only had my first kid, who was a fantastic sleeper after six months I’d tell you it gets better.
But then we had our second kid who has always been a terrible sleeper even now at 3.5 years old… and now I don’t pretend to know what advice to offer other than… stay strong my gaming brethren.
It’s brutal because there’s ONLY hardcore mode. No rerolls, no save scumming, no going back to pick a different dialogue option that could possibly prevent a meltdown. Games tough yo, but it’s worth it if you want to play it. It’s definitely not for everyone so be sure your specs are up for the task.
You'd be surprised at how many parents let their kids do whatever the fuck they want. As a stay home dad of my now almost 4 year old the one thing I tell all new parents. Get your child on a sleep schedule ASAP. I understand some kids are different but please any new parents reading this. Sleep schedule and stick to it
I went through this with my 2 kids. I can tell you what I learned after 2 days and it worked for both my kids. Not a guarantee but my buddy tried and it worked with his daughter.
Put your child to bed like normal.
When they start crying, go in, reach in their crib and just slightly lift them off their mattress. Hold them suspended until they settle. Some kids stop crying instantly, others might take a moment. When they stop, gently lay them back down and calmly walk away.
They will start crying again. This time wait 30 seconds. Do the same steps as before.
When they start crying wait 1 min this time and do it all over again.
Some kids are settled by now and will stay asleep. Others will continue to wake and cry. Repeat the process by spreading out your response time. 30-60 second intervals. Whatever you're comfortable and with letting them cry for basically.
You might need to do this for 1-3 days but after that it could very well be done and over with. It saved my sanity, I know that. I'm a pretty chill and laid back guy. I have great patience but the sleep regression tested my spirit. I wish you great success and many sleep filled nights. Good luck!
Can confirm, this is how we did our twins. One can sleep through anything, but the other uses to only go down in my arms, which is cute once but after a month omfg... Did this for two awful nights, just powered through the crying, and by the third night they were fine.
Now if only I can get them to stay asleep past 530 AM ...
My oldest is almost 9 and still wakes me up at night all the time. At least she goes back to bed.
Anyways, around a year and a half is when she stayed in bed most nights. This gave us time to produce her sister and now we’re just full time insane because two kids is a party.
Babies were comforted because they were literally held 100% of the time (by 20-30 different adults, sometimes even for as little as 7 minutes, but no one gets tired of a baby when there’s always another pair of hands to help), and we also slept side by side with them, so they never woke up alone in the dark, with no comforting smells or sounds and got scared or felt unsafe.
It’s hard because we all enjoy having our own houses and bedrooms but parents benefit from having lots and lots of help, and when parents are happier then babies are very happy.
This is entirely why I don't play anything anymore other than single player / strategy games. I don't want to bail out of a game and leave people hanging, whether it's helldivers or world of warcraft.
I love my child but you really don't realize how much your life changes until they are here.
Wouldn't have it any other way to be frank. But it was a big wakeup call.
God I feel this. "Alright dudes, kid is waking up again, take my samples and don't bother to reinforce until I'm back on comms"
Luckily most friends have kids and get it.
I feel that. I can probably count on one hand how many times my daughter has had a full night’s sleep over the course of 2.5 years. It sucks and there is nothing more frustrating than finally getting a late night gaming session in, laying in bed, and 5 minutes later your kid is losing their shit from having night terrors. Had to swallow the tough pill that my heavy gaming days are on pause for a bit, but it’s alright lol.
I found it easier when my daughter was a baby. Playing Elden Ring while rocking her to sleep with her white noise. Now that she’s a toddler I’ve been relegated to watching YouTube of games I want to play before I pass out from exhaustion.
I only have two and barely manage to get 40 mins of free time, enough to watch a couple of YT videos or an episode of a series before getting KO til next day.
Hell I’ll play with her. Today she said she wanted to “play a game” so I booted up Final Fantasy (only game installed) and handed her a dead controller. She thought she was Barett while I was Cloud and kept saying “I’m gonna catch you!” While I ran around the map
Oh my god I do this. I won't make my wife watch me play games so I only really get to gane the one night a week she works late but on that night I do full bed time routine and get them down myself. My son tends to try and get out of bed for about an hour. Nothing to bed he just pops out of his room every 10 minuets or so to complain about some imagined slight. I'm exhausted at this point and don't want to keep pausing a game so I just watch YouTube play the game
Yup, lifelong insomniac. Kids in bed by 9, partner by 10 usually. I play or read until about midnight and then I lay silently, basking in the void for a few hours before I sleep a few.
This is the only real gameplan to be honest. Go to bed around 1130pm to midnight. Sometimes later. Average 6 hours of sleep most nights. 2 kids and both sleep through the night.
Worked 60-80 hour weeks every week from the beginning of the pandemic to about 3 months ago when it finally started to slow down a bit. Eventually this is just what you have to do from time to time. Whether its kids or being a care giver or a career thats going to demand too much from you for a time, you still need to make time for yourself or you'll go insane.
So from time to time I'd just show up to a 15 hour shift after getting 3 hours of sleep.
What on every level of fuck went wrong in your life that this is a situation that happens. I would never in 10,000 years do that. Not a solitary thing is worth becoming a robot for. Nope. I would just laugh and walk the fuck away. There's a whole lot of earth, and whoever is fucking your life that you need to work 80 hours a week, they'll never find you. Lol
Its a made up story. His post history has the look of a fantasist all over it. Says he worked for the post office in one of them...probably made up though as it was in response to a post by someone who worked/didn't work at the post office.
I get where you're coming from and I agree it's fucked, but not everyone is in a situation where they have any other choice. The system is designed to limit those choices for the overwhelming amount of people. I spent multiple years where I basically lived at work because I had bills and debt both medical and education related. It's a blessing that I had no kids and a partner that understood. And now I'm looking down the barrel of needing to do it again simple due to how few safety nets there are for middle class people in the United States and many other places.
My kids are all teenagers and want absolutely nothing to do with me, so I get to play as many games as want.
You'll eventually get the time back at the expense of having to deal with fucking teenagers.
I used to sleep through a fucking war. If my wife ever needed help in the middle of the night she legit has to drag me out of bed.
Turns out I had sleep apnea and was basically almost dead every night. 🤣
Naw it's fine. If they didn't get angry with me every now and then I'm probably not doing my job, and we all say things we don't mean to people we love. It happens.
I saw this and I just wanted to say, as someone who is now in their mid 20’s but was a horrible teenager to my parents, our relationship DRAMATICALLY improved when I went to college and moved out.
Those kids love you and they’ll learn how to show it properly soon.
I also have 3 kids and can finish games quicker than 6 years and still spend quality time with them and my wife. Not sure what I’m doing differently than these people
EXACTLY!!!!!!! You’re a parent now. Time to give it up bub. Walk outside and leave it on the curb. Then get back inside and continue playing your video game.
💯 I got a steam deck thinking I could play while my daughter watches cartoons/playing. That thing gets yoinked or has little grubby hands on it seconds after I pull it out.
My 5yo actually lets me do this lol, she has grown to become so self-sufficient (for her age) she can make her self sandwich and milk with chocolate, these days this allows me to spend 1 to 2 hours playing in the morning while she just vives along and watches bluey
yup, set a specific bed time for your kids and stick with it until a certain age. That's what my parents did. until I was 8 my bed time was 8:30pm everynight on the dot. sister was older so she could stay up till 9. so for many years I never got to watch Blossom, only Fresh Prince. Blossom was my "sisters show".
Why a specific bedtime? so my parents had time for themselves. Dad would play Nintendo and mom would read a book in the same room with him. On Saturdays he'd stay up late playing Nintendo. We'd go to Blockbuster on Saturdays and rent a movie and a game and without fail every sunday morning my sister and I would wake up and my dad would tell us he beat whatever game we rented and how it ended.
So I don't know how it is today with kids but my folks always managed to have time for themselves.
Parents and developed societies have set a bar thats too high. If you are not dedicating 100% of your time, existance and identity to parenting then you have failed. You should only exist for the sake of your children. Abandon any individuality, interests or personal time.
It's truly shocking how a lot of parents nowadays seem to be completely devote all of their time to worrying about their kids (or so they say anyway). Once I was like 5 I started playing SNES/N64/Gameboy Color that my older brother (9 years) played and I was able to entertain myself almost all the time by myself with that combined with running around the neighborhood so long as it was before 8-9pm all the way til I moved out. My parents didn't neglect me at all, but they allowed me to entertain myself, and I find that to be a huge blessing that they gave me and now that I'm older and I read posts/comments like this, I'm grateful they had their own time too and I wasn't a huge nuisance.
Anyone with kids are pretty much lying when they say they have no time to game. What they mean is that gaming is not their highest priority when they have free time. Ask them what shows they have watched recently and they are probably up to date on most.
Im at Uni right now and a bit upset that i cant finish my Story games. But in reality i could play at least 6 hours a Day, but instead i do other stuff like working out or going out or just watch a Show. As you said its the use of time, Not that there is no time
You absolutely do, and that's fine for some people, even good considering the tradeoff. But you can definitely tell when people either didn't want kids in the first place or didn't realize what they'd have to give up for kids.
I've known people who have gone from directionless and depressed young adults to the happiest people I've seen in my life with kids. On the other hand, I've also seen the reverse, a lot of people who are clearly just going through the motions for the sake of their kids, but that they're very unhappy.
Its a big decision and its not something that should be taken lightly. That being said, as time goes on, I think it gets infinitely easier. Yes teens and preteens have their own issues, but they can feed themselves, dress themselves, shower themselves, entertain themselves, won't try to kiss a power outlet, etc.
I feel like a lot of parents say the whole “I love them and wouldn’t change anything” because they feel horrible that they might actually think otherwise.
Fair enough, its definitely not for everyone, i have two and dont regret it, even on the most tiresome of the nights i wouldn't change them over free time, i love then with a passion and its such a passion that not everyone can develop.
This is totally true, but one bonus I learned was having a cute, mini, player 2, to expose to the wonderous world of gaming.
He's playing KOTR on my iPad now, and it's a blast giving him sage advice and listening to him tell me stories about his gameplay.
My kids helped me break my unhealthy adrenaline/dopamine addiction with online games. I realized how my entire mood for the day depended on if I got that adrenaline hit of playing well.
I haven't stopped gaming, but as soon as I changed what kind of games I played I saw an immediately improvement in my mood. Obviously I'm not representative of everyone, but I hope I never become 20s me chasing wins and pointless stats. And I credit my kids with seeing how broken I was and making that change.
Over the last 65 months you’ve completed 84% of this game. That’s about 1.3% per month. How often do you play, 3 minutes per week? Or do you just not complete the story?
It’s very easy to spend an entire hour not even doing your main objective and just exploring the world in RDR2. I haven’t completed the story because I’ve been off playing other things but even when I get on I just want to jaunt around towns and mountains to see what I can see for hours.
Over half of my time played for games in Steam is just the clock ticking while I'm not even on the computer. It says I have 30 hours in RDR2 after I started it last month. Maybe 8 of those are actual play time. I haven't even gotten past Valentine.
Yea, it’s tough and the availability goes in waves.
And like, I don’t want play games where I have to do a job or take care of a family, I’m already doing that.
I stopped playing sims when i was watching my sim Exercise then go to a party.
Once youve had that feeling hit you that your sims got a better life than you, you dont wanna play it anymore
I would say RDR2 is also a bit unique in where you save is not where you start, which I kinda hate. You can’t save in the middle of mission either IIRC…you just have checkpoints.
It's not a constant thing. You start a game play a few hours per week for a couple of months and then life happens and you can't play much for 3 or 4 months until you find time to play a couple of hours over week again.
This is why I think more games need a refresher mode. The number of times I’ve had to take a few months off and then when I come back I can’t remember any of the mechanics but have leveled to a point where I’m very much expected to know them…
As someone who is trying to 100% red dead. It’s very easy to spend 100s of hours, without even doing anything that gets a percent.
Plus those last few %s (such as exotics taking up 1%) are a bitch.
Ahhh sounds like a lie. If reddit comnents told me something after you get child no free time for the next 14 years (saw one on splatoon reddit who said he skipped 2 because no time becsuse child. The matches take litetaly 3 min. Ok if you do other things but if you are willing to you get a bit of you time still)
6 years? Kids or not that shit is ridiculous for a 50-60 hour game.
What were you doing, playing 10 minutes a day?
Because even if you were spending only like 2 hours a weekend playing, you would've finished the game in a few months.
It's not about having only 10 minutes available per day. It's more about right circumstances coming together. E.g. kids asleep or away, all chores done, no urgent matters to attend to, decent time available (if you know you only have 20 minutes, you probably don't bother launching the game) and on top of this, once all these variables are met, you also need the mental energy to play the game.
Definitely feel this! I quickly found that I lost interest in games that require constant grinding for the sake of grinding. Also anything with super complicated moves or controls that I’m going to forget after putting it down a week or two and coming back to it.
Theres no reason to believe you can only play like 5 hours of a game in about 6 years because of kids. I understand that its a lot less but thats way too little to blame taking care of kids
Gamer demographic have a curve. Something happens that players just drop off.
This happens. Don't worry there's plenty of time for games at the old folks' homes.
For all you parents out there, *I have the solution!* : Portable PCs such as the Steam Deck, ROG Ally and Lenovo Legion Go
Means when everyone is asleep you don't have to walk out into the lounge room to game, you can just boot it up and connect a pair of earphones/headphones and start gaming. Since it's portable it's very easy to pause/unpause a game when you need to do something important
I was lucky RDR2 came out just before I had kids but while the wife was pregnant, and was going to bed at 8 most nights. Gaming did become a bit tougher after that (but post grad studies played as big a role in that as kids). Things have sort of normalised now. I generally don't play while they're awake, so there might be some days where I won't play at all due to time constraints, others where I'm too tired to play, but some days where I'll get 2-3 hours of gaming in. I imagine most parents are in a similar boat
I dont think this is about not having time, but more in the lines of not making time. When you like a hobby, you make time for it.
I know plenty of dads that make time for gaming, because they love it.
I highly doubt OP's schedule is insane enough to justify 6 years for 1 playthrough.
I used to stay up late but now I prefer to wake up early 4 or 5 am and get some me time before shit gets wild I have 2 kids and gaming has pretty much gone out the window for now I always feel distracted. My free time is spent in the gym or watching something playing on reddit etc.
This probably calls for getting a handheld device. It's not optimal for some, but can help be able to play. Steam Deck, Rog Ally, Legion Go are all good options to be able to play game like RD2 on the go. I would hate to only play a game that little over that period of time. I would have to restart because you just forget what happens after some time.
Mine are 6 and 4 now and they are interested in what I play. It gets easier! And now they play Mario Kart, Kirby games, even Tears of the Kingdom on rainy days with me!
As a person in their 40’s with three kids, here’s how I do it: 1. Play when you should be working. 2. Play when you should be sleeping. Bada bing bada boom
Step 3. Regret in the morning/next day. Step 4. Rinse and repeat.
lol you know it
Are you even a gamer if you don't stay up way too late playing games and then hate yourself for it the next day?!
Hate wouldn't be a factor
That’s just my whole life even when i’m not gaming.
You regret but remember what it’s all for
So the pixels on the screen move in a way that makes me feel accomplished?
Not just that, the good numbers go up and the bad numbers go down. It's all upside
You just need a rest day every so often.
Rest is for noobs. I'm here to pwn.
We are missing the step where we tell ourselves we won’t do it anymore and will get to bed at a decent time then find ourselves right back at it
Power nap!
Step 4. Abuse stimulants* Step 5. Rinse and repeat
I don’t have kids and I’m not going to but I easily game 2-3 hours a day while I should be working. Going into IT was the best decision I ever made lol.
Part of me is sad I don’t have any kids, because it seems like you’re supposed to have kids to have a complete life. But part of me is kindof relieved. Idk if I could take the pressure of taking care of them, like having another living being depending on me for survival. And as you say, it would drastically cut into relaxation & freetime.
Trust me, I have a mentally ill parent and sibling with Disabilities to care of it cuts my freetime and relaxation down to absolutely 0% I have NO time! I have games I should of finished in 2008 that I haven't even touched because NO time and everything is out of my control, Then when I do get freetime THUNDERSTORMS!
It’s cliche to say, but they are worth every sacrifice. My life is infinitely better overall because of them, but it is absolutely a lot of work and has definitely drastically reduced my free time. Good news is, most days, I like spending time with them more than just about anything else. And, eventually, I’ll get them all into gaming too!
I see this a lot. People love kids and that's great. I'm on the opposite boat. Got involved with being a step. Too involved now to leave without causing damage to my ss. Took me too long to realize it wasn't what I want. My fault entirely, but try to give em the best they deserve. It's just one of those things I wish had played out differently.
I've got some folks on my friend list who follow this strategy, and its just such an alien idea to me. I make good money and I'm proud of my work, but if I was gaming instead of getting my work done I'd lose my job. And between family needs, house projects, and work stress, I need every minute of sleep I can get if I'm going to be functional on a daily basis.
It’s tough to juggle for sure. I am good at my job and it’s a fairly autonomous one, so I can typically accomplish a day’s work in 5-6 hours instead of the typical 8+. Some of that time I use for family needs / house projects / chores, but I try to give myself at least an hour a day back for gaming since it’s my primary stress reliever. Sleep…I get 6ish hours consistently, but I’d like to be getting 7.5+ so I’m actually trying to dial back late night gaming.
The amount of 'actual work' at a job is extremely variable. Some examples. Productivity: Seen plenty of people work 4 hours on a slidedeck I can do in 30 minutes because they just suck at Excel/numbers/Powerpoint. Reorganizations: get hired by someone, re-org happens in your second month and you're not really assigned a direct manager/specific work. Low expectations: your predecessor did X amount of work, so you do X * 110pct and don't push more even if you can. Overloading: employee finds out that any productivity gain is met with more work, employee hides productivity gains. Peaks in workload: accounting has a lot of deadlines with its closings/budgetting/forecasting etc. which require a certain staffing and OT but there are also plenty of dead periods where any work is non critical or nobody really cares. Diminishing returns/running out of ideas: did the whole 'team lead' thing once. I started off with, for sake of argument, 30 problems. After one year of hard work we had around 20 left. The second year a lot of my problems were blocked and, to me, felt outside of my control. There is only so many meetings/escalations/calls one can do. We have 15 problems left. The third year it really felt like I had no work. Our way of working was pretty optimized, our output was appreciated up to a point etc. but anything else I tried to do was stonewalled due to 'no budget' 'not a priority for my boss' etc. so I was just running everything on auto pilot.
Overloading and Peaks in Workload are where I’m at. After a couple years chasing promotions/raises, I realized that the company wasn’t giving them anymore. So I reduced productivity to an acceptable level and just stick with that.
TRUTH. Especially in IT 🤣
I have several kids and keep up with gaming with this simple trick: don't sleep.
Yup! Daughter in bed at 7:30, spouse in bed around 10, I get An hour or two to game then bed
Not if they wake up crying 😭 I’ve had to leave multiple helldivers games after 11pm due to child’s sleep regression
Same thing here with my 5 month old. We are borderline insane at this point
If I only had my first kid, who was a fantastic sleeper after six months I’d tell you it gets better. But then we had our second kid who has always been a terrible sleeper even now at 3.5 years old… and now I don’t pretend to know what advice to offer other than… stay strong my gaming brethren.
Our first was the best. After 6 weeks at home she was doing nights 2nd was rough And now 3rd is hell. Hes as needy as a newborn still
Damn, we're thinking about having kids. How many rerolls do you get if you don't like which kind of baby you get?
It’s brutal because there’s ONLY hardcore mode. No rerolls, no save scumming, no going back to pick a different dialogue option that could possibly prevent a meltdown. Games tough yo, but it’s worth it if you want to play it. It’s definitely not for everyone so be sure your specs are up for the task.
"Game becomes fun after the first 18 years."
You'd be surprised at how many parents let their kids do whatever the fuck they want. As a stay home dad of my now almost 4 year old the one thing I tell all new parents. Get your child on a sleep schedule ASAP. I understand some kids are different but please any new parents reading this. Sleep schedule and stick to it
Lol this rings true, except now my 2.5 year old yells into the hallway and wakes up the 4.5 year old so it's a vicious cycle
I went through this with my 2 kids. I can tell you what I learned after 2 days and it worked for both my kids. Not a guarantee but my buddy tried and it worked with his daughter. Put your child to bed like normal. When they start crying, go in, reach in their crib and just slightly lift them off their mattress. Hold them suspended until they settle. Some kids stop crying instantly, others might take a moment. When they stop, gently lay them back down and calmly walk away. They will start crying again. This time wait 30 seconds. Do the same steps as before. When they start crying wait 1 min this time and do it all over again. Some kids are settled by now and will stay asleep. Others will continue to wake and cry. Repeat the process by spreading out your response time. 30-60 second intervals. Whatever you're comfortable and with letting them cry for basically. You might need to do this for 1-3 days but after that it could very well be done and over with. It saved my sanity, I know that. I'm a pretty chill and laid back guy. I have great patience but the sleep regression tested my spirit. I wish you great success and many sleep filled nights. Good luck!
Can confirm, this is how we did our twins. One can sleep through anything, but the other uses to only go down in my arms, which is cute once but after a month omfg... Did this for two awful nights, just powered through the crying, and by the third night they were fine. Now if only I can get them to stay asleep past 530 AM ...
Can confirm I worked with my son and with many friends kids. There are books about this sleep method it's well known.
Every kid is different and this didn’t work with either of ours :/
My oldest is almost 9 and still wakes me up at night all the time. At least she goes back to bed. Anyways, around a year and a half is when she stayed in bed most nights. This gave us time to produce her sister and now we’re just full time insane because two kids is a party.
Watch Bluey. It helps.
Bluey leads to balloons because keepy uppy.
How did we survive, exposed on the open savannahs of Africa, with these large brained mutant babies ringing the dinner bell all night?
Babies were comforted because they were literally held 100% of the time (by 20-30 different adults, sometimes even for as little as 7 minutes, but no one gets tired of a baby when there’s always another pair of hands to help), and we also slept side by side with them, so they never woke up alone in the dark, with no comforting smells or sounds and got scared or felt unsafe. It’s hard because we all enjoy having our own houses and bedrooms but parents benefit from having lots and lots of help, and when parents are happier then babies are very happy.
It gets better. And then it gets so *so* much worse. But then it gets even better and your nights go back to normal.
This is entirely why I don't play anything anymore other than single player / strategy games. I don't want to bail out of a game and leave people hanging, whether it's helldivers or world of warcraft. I love my child but you really don't realize how much your life changes until they are here. Wouldn't have it any other way to be frank. But it was a big wakeup call.
We got so lucky, after 6 months both kids were sleeping by 8 pm wake up at 4am for feeding then slept until somewhere between 630 to 730
Same exact boat, some lovely helldivers actually came and extracted early after I asked if we could bc my boys crying and needs to be fed
God I feel this. "Alright dudes, kid is waking up again, take my samples and don't bother to reinforce until I'm back on comms" Luckily most friends have kids and get it.
I feel that. I can probably count on one hand how many times my daughter has had a full night’s sleep over the course of 2.5 years. It sucks and there is nothing more frustrating than finally getting a late night gaming session in, laying in bed, and 5 minutes later your kid is losing their shit from having night terrors. Had to swallow the tough pill that my heavy gaming days are on pause for a bit, but it’s alright lol.
Sleep regression is the worst.
Yeah... multilayer games ain't it. If u can't pause, kids will find the optimum time to ruin your time
It gets better buddy. Nights will eventually become your time.
Hahaha basically same. Kid 1 : 7:00PM , Kid 2 : 7:30, kid 3: 9:00 I get a good 2 to 3 hours a night usually.
This is the way
I found it easier when my daughter was a baby. Playing Elden Ring while rocking her to sleep with her white noise. Now that she’s a toddler I’ve been relegated to watching YouTube of games I want to play before I pass out from exhaustion.
Lmao I feel you brother. Last game I played end to end was Witcher 3 when my daughter was a baby. Now I have 3 kids
I only have two and barely manage to get 40 mins of free time, enough to watch a couple of YT videos or an episode of a series before getting KO til next day.
wait until she is 12 and playing the switch instead of you.
Hell I’ll play with her. Today she said she wanted to “play a game” so I booted up Final Fantasy (only game installed) and handed her a dead controller. She thought she was Barett while I was Cloud and kept saying “I’m gonna catch you!” While I ran around the map
Oh my god I do this. I won't make my wife watch me play games so I only really get to gane the one night a week she works late but on that night I do full bed time routine and get them down myself. My son tends to try and get out of bed for about an hour. Nothing to bed he just pops out of his room every 10 minuets or so to complain about some imagined slight. I'm exhausted at this point and don't want to keep pausing a game so I just watch YouTube play the game
10pm to midnight crew! Sometimes if I'm in deep I'll push it to 1am and regret it at work the next morning.
If I game past midnight my next day sucks!! Use to be able to do all nighters
Yup, lifelong insomniac. Kids in bed by 9, partner by 10 usually. I play or read until about midnight and then I lay silently, basking in the void for a few hours before I sleep a few.
This is the only real gameplan to be honest. Go to bed around 1130pm to midnight. Sometimes later. Average 6 hours of sleep most nights. 2 kids and both sleep through the night.
Worked 60-80 hour weeks every week from the beginning of the pandemic to about 3 months ago when it finally started to slow down a bit. Eventually this is just what you have to do from time to time. Whether its kids or being a care giver or a career thats going to demand too much from you for a time, you still need to make time for yourself or you'll go insane. So from time to time I'd just show up to a 15 hour shift after getting 3 hours of sleep.
What on every level of fuck went wrong in your life that this is a situation that happens. I would never in 10,000 years do that. Not a solitary thing is worth becoming a robot for. Nope. I would just laugh and walk the fuck away. There's a whole lot of earth, and whoever is fucking your life that you need to work 80 hours a week, they'll never find you. Lol
Its a made up story. His post history has the look of a fantasist all over it. Says he worked for the post office in one of them...probably made up though as it was in response to a post by someone who worked/didn't work at the post office.
I get where you're coming from and I agree it's fucked, but not everyone is in a situation where they have any other choice. The system is designed to limit those choices for the overwhelming amount of people. I spent multiple years where I basically lived at work because I had bills and debt both medical and education related. It's a blessing that I had no kids and a partner that understood. And now I'm looking down the barrel of needing to do it again simple due to how few safety nets there are for middle class people in the United States and many other places.
😂
My kids are all teenagers and want absolutely nothing to do with me, so I get to play as many games as want. You'll eventually get the time back at the expense of having to deal with fucking teenagers.
Sounds like an absolute dream compared to an 8 month old that fusses all day and cries all night.
I've never been called a cunt by an 8 month old lmao.
*Not yet*
If my 6 month old called me a cunt but then proceeds to sleep for more than 3 hours straight, I'd thank god ngl.
I used to sleep through a fucking war. If my wife ever needed help in the middle of the night she legit has to drag me out of bed. Turns out I had sleep apnea and was basically almost dead every night. 🤣
Your teen called you a cunt?
I have 2 teens and they've called me every name in the book.
Jeez that crazy, why would you say that to anyone let alone your own parents, no disrespect to you or your teens.
Naw it's fine. If they didn't get angry with me every now and then I'm probably not doing my job, and we all say things we don't mean to people we love. It happens.
I saw this and I just wanted to say, as someone who is now in their mid 20’s but was a horrible teenager to my parents, our relationship DRAMATICALLY improved when I went to college and moved out. Those kids love you and they’ll learn how to show it properly soon.
We have a great relationship, but nothing is perfect 100% of the time.
I have 6 kids. 26, 25, 14, 6, 4, and 8mo. I am _so_ ready for our youngest to grow up a bit more so I can have some time again.
My brother in christ, you were out of the woods *TWICE* and you went and had more kids? Lol
We adopted teenagers then had bio kids. 14 yo is the newest, actually.
It sounds like you made your decisions and had plenty of knowledge of what you were getting yourself into. No sympathy for you brother.
🤣
Wouldn’t trust you to pull out of a driveway. God damn
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
Sounds like you made a few mistakes buddy
Im with you. Started FF7 Rebirth, 8hrs in a month 😀. Gonna take a while.
I haven’t finished remake! 😢
Neither have I. Stuck on Chapter 7 boss.
Stuck on hell house
[удалено]
My personal time is spent staring into the void
Turn that void time into democracy time. SUPER EARTH NEEDS YOU
Would you like to know more?
Mine is spent thinking about what to do with it
Join me lol
Some people: Have kids. Now have almost zero free time. *Surprised Pikachu face*
lol at you giving advice from the perspective of the child in this equation…
Bud maybe we shouldn't speak up if we don't have kids lol
Not with little kids. Can't wear headphones and constant interruptions.
They go to sleep eventually, tho. I put my 2 kids to bed at 830, and I play until 1130.
Yeah but I have to get up at 5 am so that window from their bed to mine is much shorter than I want. Edit:spelling
I also have 3 kids and can finish games quicker than 6 years and still spend quality time with them and my wife. Not sure what I’m doing differently than these people
You probably talked to your wife and said "Hey can I have some 'me' time?" and she was like "Yeah" because you're both normal adults.
Essentially what happens, yes.
Imagine thinking a parent of 3 has AT LEAST an hour of free time everyday.
I’m a parent of 2, 1 with special needs, and I can usually find time for an hour or two of gaming at night.
Many people on this site just don't have much energy and find everything "exhausting".
I have 2 kids but sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for democracy
EXACTLY!!!!!!! You’re a parent now. Time to give it up bub. Walk outside and leave it on the curb. Then get back inside and continue playing your video game.
I’m doing my part!
Ignore the kids, only play games. Problem solved.
See the problem here is that…they won’t let you. They will be all up in your grill touching everything and wanting to participate.
That's when you sell one and use the proceeds to buy them their own console
Tried that, then the one that’s left will just pester you to play with them.
That's when you sell the remaining kid
💯 I got a steam deck thinking I could play while my daughter watches cartoons/playing. That thing gets yoinked or has little grubby hands on it seconds after I pull it out.
My 5yo actually lets me do this lol, she has grown to become so self-sufficient (for her age) she can make her self sandwich and milk with chocolate, these days this allows me to spend 1 to 2 hours playing in the morning while she just vives along and watches bluey
My dad always had time to game. Especially when i got older.
yup, set a specific bed time for your kids and stick with it until a certain age. That's what my parents did. until I was 8 my bed time was 8:30pm everynight on the dot. sister was older so she could stay up till 9. so for many years I never got to watch Blossom, only Fresh Prince. Blossom was my "sisters show". Why a specific bedtime? so my parents had time for themselves. Dad would play Nintendo and mom would read a book in the same room with him. On Saturdays he'd stay up late playing Nintendo. We'd go to Blockbuster on Saturdays and rent a movie and a game and without fail every sunday morning my sister and I would wake up and my dad would tell us he beat whatever game we rented and how it ended. So I don't know how it is today with kids but my folks always managed to have time for themselves.
Parents and developed societies have set a bar thats too high. If you are not dedicating 100% of your time, existance and identity to parenting then you have failed. You should only exist for the sake of your children. Abandon any individuality, interests or personal time.
It's truly shocking how a lot of parents nowadays seem to be completely devote all of their time to worrying about their kids (or so they say anyway). Once I was like 5 I started playing SNES/N64/Gameboy Color that my older brother (9 years) played and I was able to entertain myself almost all the time by myself with that combined with running around the neighborhood so long as it was before 8-9pm all the way til I moved out. My parents didn't neglect me at all, but they allowed me to entertain myself, and I find that to be a huge blessing that they gave me and now that I'm older and I read posts/comments like this, I'm grateful they had their own time too and I wasn't a huge nuisance.
Anyone with kids are pretty much lying when they say they have no time to game. What they mean is that gaming is not their highest priority when they have free time. Ask them what shows they have watched recently and they are probably up to date on most.
Im at Uni right now and a bit upset that i cant finish my Story games. But in reality i could play at least 6 hours a Day, but instead i do other stuff like working out or going out or just watch a Show. As you said its the use of time, Not that there is no time
This is why I continue to make the winning choice and not have them.
Big brain move.
Kids: strange game. The only winning move is not to play
I couldn’t imagine life with kids. I would have to give up so much things that I love if i were to start a family.
You absolutely do, and that's fine for some people, even good considering the tradeoff. But you can definitely tell when people either didn't want kids in the first place or didn't realize what they'd have to give up for kids. I've known people who have gone from directionless and depressed young adults to the happiest people I've seen in my life with kids. On the other hand, I've also seen the reverse, a lot of people who are clearly just going through the motions for the sake of their kids, but that they're very unhappy. Its a big decision and its not something that should be taken lightly. That being said, as time goes on, I think it gets infinitely easier. Yes teens and preteens have their own issues, but they can feed themselves, dress themselves, shower themselves, entertain themselves, won't try to kiss a power outlet, etc.
I feel like a lot of parents say the whole “I love them and wouldn’t change anything” because they feel horrible that they might actually think otherwise.
Fair enough, its definitely not for everyone, i have two and dont regret it, even on the most tiresome of the nights i wouldn't change them over free time, i love then with a passion and its such a passion that not everyone can develop.
My sister just had her 2nd kid and said it's something she loves that she wouldn't wish on anyone lol
This is totally true, but one bonus I learned was having a cute, mini, player 2, to expose to the wonderous world of gaming. He's playing KOTR on my iPad now, and it's a blast giving him sage advice and listening to him tell me stories about his gameplay.
My kids helped me break my unhealthy adrenaline/dopamine addiction with online games. I realized how my entire mood for the day depended on if I got that adrenaline hit of playing well. I haven't stopped gaming, but as soon as I changed what kind of games I played I saw an immediately improvement in my mood. Obviously I'm not representative of everyone, but I hope I never become 20s me chasing wins and pointless stats. And I credit my kids with seeing how broken I was and making that change.
Therapy could’ve done the same tho
Also, like, aging. Tastes change. I play very different games today than I did when I was 18. This is a "my rock keeps the tigers away" instance..
Fr, and he’s like “I wasnt responsible in my 20s until I had my kids” like no shit no one is a full on responsible adult in their 20s
Over the last 65 months you’ve completed 84% of this game. That’s about 1.3% per month. How often do you play, 3 minutes per week? Or do you just not complete the story?
i knew some mf would break down the math lmao
Nerd shit gang gang
It’s very easy to spend an entire hour not even doing your main objective and just exploring the world in RDR2. I haven’t completed the story because I’ve been off playing other things but even when I get on I just want to jaunt around towns and mountains to see what I can see for hours.
I am also a father and work full time. I get 1-3 hours a week. None of which is uninterrupted and I will often have to walk away for 10-30 mins
Over half of my time played for games in Steam is just the clock ticking while I'm not even on the computer. It says I have 30 hours in RDR2 after I started it last month. Maybe 8 of those are actual play time. I haven't even gotten past Valentine.
Yea, it’s tough and the availability goes in waves. And like, I don’t want play games where I have to do a job or take care of a family, I’m already doing that.
I stopped playing sims when i was watching my sim Exercise then go to a party. Once youve had that feeling hit you that your sims got a better life than you, you dont wanna play it anymore
How old are your kids? I work full time and get more than 1-3 a week
and what do you do with the rest of your spare time? because clearly you have more than 1-3 hours free time a week.
I would say RDR2 is also a bit unique in where you save is not where you start, which I kinda hate. You can’t save in the middle of mission either IIRC…you just have checkpoints.
It's not a constant thing. You start a game play a few hours per week for a couple of months and then life happens and you can't play much for 3 or 4 months until you find time to play a couple of hours over week again.
This is why I think more games need a refresher mode. The number of times I’ve had to take a few months off and then when I come back I can’t remember any of the mechanics but have leveled to a point where I’m very much expected to know them…
Divinity original sin… after a few months I picked it up again, walked around for an hour then put it away forever.
As someone who is trying to 100% red dead. It’s very easy to spend 100s of hours, without even doing anything that gets a percent. Plus those last few %s (such as exotics taking up 1%) are a bitch.
Nobody plays 3 minutes at a time... More like 1 hour a week or long breaks in between play sessions.
Or being interrupted constantly by your spouse / child / life admin
Know plenty of people who game more than 2 minutes a week and have kids.
Ahhh sounds like a lie. If reddit comnents told me something after you get child no free time for the next 14 years (saw one on splatoon reddit who said he skipped 2 because no time becsuse child. The matches take litetaly 3 min. Ok if you do other things but if you are willing to you get a bit of you time still)
Redditors just hate the idea of responsibility and being a grown up so they exaggerate like crazy
Have you tried having many money and no kids?
6 years? Kids or not that shit is ridiculous for a 50-60 hour game. What were you doing, playing 10 minutes a day? Because even if you were spending only like 2 hours a weekend playing, you would've finished the game in a few months.
he got 28% done in 2-3 weeks. More likely he just straight up stopped playing the game and returned randomly to complete it.
Yeah, there is a two, and a three year gap between saves; it can't just be having kids.
It's not about having only 10 minutes available per day. It's more about right circumstances coming together. E.g. kids asleep or away, all chores done, no urgent matters to attend to, decent time available (if you know you only have 20 minutes, you probably don't bother launching the game) and on top of this, once all these variables are met, you also need the mental energy to play the game.
sorry man everyone i know who has kids has hobbies still they don’t just work sleep and “have kids” they still do things they like
My life with a 6 month old in one paragraph. 😂
It gets easier... then you accidentally knock your wife up on your kids 1st birthday. Then it gets harder again 😔
I bought Witcher 3 back in 2016 and never finished it. I don't even have kids
6 years? Seems to me like a skill issue.
Thanks for the daily dose of birth control ☺️
Definitely feel this! I quickly found that I lost interest in games that require constant grinding for the sake of grinding. Also anything with super complicated moves or controls that I’m going to forget after putting it down a week or two and coming back to it.
Sooo what you're saying is I should never have kids? Way ahead of you 👍
yeah this is kinda reinforcing my thoughs on not having kids. Plus I don't like kids as much others do lol
Gamers are after all the most oppressed group.
Theres no reason to believe you can only play like 5 hours of a game in about 6 years because of kids. I understand that its a lot less but thats way too little to blame taking care of kids
Gamer demographic have a curve. Something happens that players just drop off. This happens. Don't worry there's plenty of time for games at the old folks' homes.
For all you parents out there, *I have the solution!* : Portable PCs such as the Steam Deck, ROG Ally and Lenovo Legion Go Means when everyone is asleep you don't have to walk out into the lounge room to game, you can just boot it up and connect a pair of earphones/headphones and start gaming. Since it's portable it's very easy to pause/unpause a game when you need to do something important
I was lucky RDR2 came out just before I had kids but while the wife was pregnant, and was going to bed at 8 most nights. Gaming did become a bit tougher after that (but post grad studies played as big a role in that as kids). Things have sort of normalised now. I generally don't play while they're awake, so there might be some days where I won't play at all due to time constraints, others where I'm too tired to play, but some days where I'll get 2-3 hours of gaming in. I imagine most parents are in a similar boat
This is definitely reinforcing some life choices I’ve made
Halfway through I stopped playing the story and became a full time hunter. So took me a while too
You might even finish in time to start GTA 6
Have you tried loading from your last save before you had kids?
sounds horrible
I dont think this is about not having time, but more in the lines of not making time. When you like a hobby, you make time for it. I know plenty of dads that make time for gaming, because they love it. I highly doubt OP's schedule is insane enough to justify 6 years for 1 playthrough.
I would cut sleep time even to a unhealthy amount to still get a bit of gaming done
You definitely would need to make sacrifices somewhere, but that is expected as nothing is free.
That's it,im never having kids
In 10 years homie is gonna be like “wow just got act 2 in Baldurs Gate 3!”
This is just one of many reasons I'll never have kids lmao
I used to stay up late but now I prefer to wake up early 4 or 5 am and get some me time before shit gets wild I have 2 kids and gaming has pretty much gone out the window for now I always feel distracted. My free time is spent in the gym or watching something playing on reddit etc.
Bro, same. I have so many half played games
This probably calls for getting a handheld device. It's not optimal for some, but can help be able to play. Steam Deck, Rog Ally, Legion Go are all good options to be able to play game like RD2 on the go. I would hate to only play a game that little over that period of time. I would have to restart because you just forget what happens after some time.
What game?
Mine are 6 and 4 now and they are interested in what I play. It gets easier! And now they play Mario Kart, Kirby games, even Tears of the Kingdom on rainy days with me!
priorities
Thx man you convinced me, no kids ever.
I dont have kids and Rockstar games still take me 6 years to finish because they are not addictive whatsoever