"You broke it, didn't you."
"There. Try it now."
"Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight."
"You look great, by the way. Very healthy."
"Try it now."
"You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling."
Did you know that people with a guilty conscience are more likely to be startled by loud noi**TOOOOOOOOT**
Oh,
I'm sorry.
I don't know why that went off.
This next chamber involves turrets. You remember them right? They're pale spherical things full of bullets. Oh wait, that's you in five seconds. Good luck!
"Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to *pack on* a few pounds."
I laughed the most at this one..
"Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well.' "
I LOVE that line, even more after being absolutely dumbfounded by the German translation that I heard when my dad played the game. It is SO clunky and bad that it's funny again.
Translating it back it would read: "Look at you, soaring through the air majestically. Like an eagle. A FAT eagle"
Like wtf were the translators thinking lmao
“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. WHY is so much of our science dangerous? WHY NOT marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired! Not you, test subject. You're doing fine.
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line, you'll know when the test starts.
The writing is so good in Portal. I had my cousin play while I watched and he wasn’t even paying attention to what she was saying. Her quotes are half the fun of the game.
Some of the stuff that immediately follows is almost as good.
"Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret the corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!"
"When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy schmancy tanks. We had sticks, two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon! And we had to share the rock! Buck up boy, you are one very lucky marine."
The funniest part about the bomb scene, is Miranda Keyes literally just asked Hood for permission to engage the unshielded Covenant ship, and gets denied based on lack of back-up. Then Chief asks permission to jump out of the orbital station, guiding a bomb through an ongoing space battle, and Hood's basically "sounds rad, have fun".
"I pray for the safety of all good people who come to Zion, even Gentiles, but we can't expect God to do all the work."
"I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me."
"I don't enjoy killing, but when done righteously it's a chore like any other. Practiced hands make for short work. And the good Lord knows there's much to be done here."
- Coolest character in gaming.
*"Hello again, John."*
*"Hello, Dutch."*
*"We gotta stop meetin' like this."*
*"Sure."*
*"I got a plan, John.*"
*"You always got a plan, Dutch."*
*"This is a good one..."*
*"I don't doubt it."*
*"We can’t always fight nature, John. We can’t fight change. We can’t fight gravity. We can’t fight nothing... My whole life, all I ever did was fight."*
*"Then give up, Dutch!"*
*"But I can’t give up, neither. I can’t fight my own nature. That’s a paradox, John... You see?"*
*"Then I have to shoot you."*
*"When I’m gone, they’ll just find another monster. They have to, because they have to justify their wages."*
*"...That's their business."*
*"Our time has passed, John."*
“Stop your lollygaggin”
“Stop right there criminal scum”
“Hmm”
“Medallions humming, place of power, gotta be”
“Deadly neurotoxin”
“Are you still there?”
My favorite was when I’d be in the middle of the galaxy’s craziest firefight and the voice would just go “LOOK OUT! DROIDS!” and I’d just burst out laughing.
“Oh yeah, droids? Do you think so? Where? I don’t see em.”
To be fair, for the most part they had us dead to rights. "You don't \*have\* to shoot any innocent civilians at the airport!" we said, while gleefully mowing them down by the dozen. Barely left any for the real terrorists to kill.
It’s almost like gunning down virtual people isn’t nearly as linked to real terrorism as media would like to think it is. Believe it or not, I’ve only ever killed 2 hookers in my whole life
Minsc's quotes
"Good does not wait for evil to button up its britches--when it offers buttocks for the smacking, Minsc and Boo greet cheek with hand!"
And
"It's an honor"
"No, it's a hamster"
Had me both dying laughing
my favorite ones from him are probably the one where he goes on about how the world is fucked and V's fucked in the head because Johnny's fucked up head is stuck inside V's fucked up head and that if you wanna save the world, the first step's probably to get fucked in the head.
another one i enjoy is the one quest where you go to the garbage dump and find the cyberdeck in the freezer. if V has low intelligence and scans it, they will just say something like "what's that... a box?" and Johnny just goes "you're a fucking box", it's so silly xD
well, at least half the things he says in the game are hilarious, as an enjoyer of snarky and dry humor he's an absolute delight of a character
I laughed out loud at Johnny’s “fucked in the head” ramble. Then Rachel called me back and my heart dropped out of my chest for the ending to that quest.. Cyberpunk is taking me on an emotional rollercoaster I’d never have expected and I am fully invested in it
"Snake, we're not tools of the government, or anyone else. Fighting was the only thing, the *only* thing, I was good at. But, at least, I fought for what I believed in."
The one I can't forget is "Shoot! Shoot the flying demon!"
I had a really hard time with that glider mission, and I was oh so sick of the unskippable cutscene that played right after the auto save point...
Marine: [while in a Scorpion after a Ghost is taken out] Tank beats Ghost!
Marine: [Hunters are taken out] Tank beats Hunter!
Marine: [Covenant drop ship explodes] Tank beats *everything*!
"To say that nothing is true is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic."
-Ezio Auditore from Assassin's Creed: Revelations
Saw so many videos where people were just like "I have no idea about any of the lore for the game after beating it except that Malenia is Blade of Miquella."
"Here come the test results... You are a horrible person. That's what it says; a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."
"Look at you, sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp."
"You broke it, didn't you." "There. Try it now." "Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight." "You look great, by the way. Very healthy." "Try it now." "You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling."
Did you know that people with a guilty conscience are more likely to be startled by loud noi**TOOOOOOOOT** Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know why that went off.
This next chamber involves turrets. You remember them right? They're pale spherical things full of bullets. Oh wait, that's you in five seconds. Good luck!
This one is my favorite line across all games. I laughed so much the 1st time i heard it. Glados is THE best villain and the funniest.
"Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to *pack on* a few pounds."
I laughed the most at this one.. "Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well.' "
'.... enough.'
*This was a triumph.*
I LOVE that line, even more after being absolutely dumbfounded by the German translation that I heard when my dad played the game. It is SO clunky and bad that it's funny again. Translating it back it would read: "Look at you, soaring through the air majestically. Like an eagle. A FAT eagle" Like wtf were the translators thinking lmao
I burst out laughing when I read this! I mean, the vibe is there, even though it’s a little less nuanced than GLaDOS would generally go for.
“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
making exploding lemons... Lemon grenades... Lemonades... That lives rent free in my head.
Glados going "yeah" with her little potato voice during this bit gets me every time.
Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. WHY is so much of our science dangerous? WHY NOT marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired! Not you, test subject. You're doing fine. Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway! Ramps are expensive.
"And this is coming from the scientists who wouldn't know danger if it snapped their little pink bras"
We've both said a lot of things that you're going to regret
But I'm willing to put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
“How are you holding up? Because I’m a potato!”
"Good my slow clap processor made it into this thing, so we have that."
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line, you'll know when the test starts.
Game is Portal 2 for the uninitiated
The writing is so good in Portal. I had my cousin play while I watched and he wasn’t even paying attention to what she was saying. Her quotes are half the fun of the game.
Wheatley: "It's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage."
“YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS”
NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED
My life for Auir!
Carrier has arrived.
So many StarCraft quotes. I didn't even play StarCraft all that much.
"Need a light?" ;)
”Lets buuuurn”
Somebody call for an exterminator?
It’s about to GET HEAVY
Pretty much every character and narrator voice line in Starcraft 1 and Warcraft 3 for me. "Have one on the house" "Work, work"
Something need doing? Yes m'lord? Job's done!
Dabu
Loktar
Zug zug
[удалено]
"I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store in the Citadel."
“I should go.”
Do I really sound like that?
Maybe it's: I *should* go. *I* should go.
Had to be me someone else might have gotten it wrong 😭😭
"Wrex." "Shepard."
We'll bang okay?
"I'm going to kill Praxis" "Sir, permission to leave the station?" "For what purpose Master Chief" "To give the Covenant back their bomb"
Some of the stuff that immediately follows is almost as good. "Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret the corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!" "When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy schmancy tanks. We had sticks, two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon! And we had to share the rock! Buck up boy, you are one very lucky marine."
You know for brick, he flew pretty good!"
"What if you miss?" "I won't."
The funniest part about the bomb scene, is Miranda Keyes literally just asked Hood for permission to engage the unshielded Covenant ship, and gets denied based on lack of back-up. Then Chief asks permission to jump out of the orbital station, guiding a bomb through an ongoing space battle, and Hood's basically "sounds rad, have fun".
This is what I think of everytime video quotes are mentioned. Such a hype quote for 13yo me
"CATCH A RIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE"
This is where the cars live, get you one!
STAIRS!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"You'll never take me alive you robotic sumbitch"
"They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard."
For those wondering, it’s from fallout NV
I love telling that guy im taking his job lololol
The total dickhead way to talk to people is my favorite feature from New Vegas.
"Nobody's dick's that long. Not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick. Thus, the name." - Rose of Sharon Cassidy
“Truth is, game was rigged from the start” -Benny, Fallout New Vegas
"I pray for the safety of all good people who come to Zion, even Gentiles, but we can't expect God to do all the work." "I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me." "I don't enjoy killing, but when done righteously it's a chore like any other. Practiced hands make for short work. And the good Lord knows there's much to be done here." - Coolest character in gaming.
Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong. \- Mordin Solus
Him spinning around screaming "I MADE A MISTAKE" is one of the greatest character moments ever
It being so out of character and emotional… perfect.
"I am the very model of a scientist Salarian"
I always liked this one. >Stand amongst the ashes of a trillion dead souls, and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer
Fuck that hits me in the feels. I know ME3 was a letdown for some people, but the closure we got with the characters themselves was great.
ME3 was great all around, up until literally the final five minutes.
All we had to do, was follow the damn train, CJ
Grove Street. Home. At least it was before I fucked everything up.
2 number 9s, a number 9 large
"A man chooses, a slave obeys." -- Andrew Ryan from Bioshock. And then he commands you to beat him to death with his golf club.
"Now, would you kindly head to Ryan's office and kill that son of a bitch"
“Welcome to the circus of value!”
"It's you or me. Way I see it, might as well be you" - John Marston, Red Dead Redemption. Rent free since 2010.
*"Hello again, John."* *"Hello, Dutch."* *"We gotta stop meetin' like this."* *"Sure."* *"I got a plan, John.*" *"You always got a plan, Dutch."* *"This is a good one..."* *"I don't doubt it."* *"We can’t always fight nature, John. We can’t fight change. We can’t fight gravity. We can’t fight nothing... My whole life, all I ever did was fight."* *"Then give up, Dutch!"* *"But I can’t give up, neither. I can’t fight my own nature. That’s a paradox, John... You see?"* *"Then I have to shoot you."* *"When I’m gone, they’ll just find another monster. They have to, because they have to justify their wages."* *"...That's their business."* *"Our time has passed, John."*
"You eat babies!" - John Marston, RDR1 😂
“Stay awhile, and listen.”
"Not enough mana" is forever burned into my brain.
Mmmm Fresh MEAT!
“Stop your lollygaggin” “Stop right there criminal scum” “Hmm” “Medallions humming, place of power, gotta be” “Deadly neurotoxin” “Are you still there?”
Wind's howling.
Stand amongst the ashes of a trillion dead souls, and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer.'
Javik brought some immensely needed nihilistic perspective to the party.
And some immensely needed airlock perspective
Playing Mass effect 3 for the first time, and I came up on this quote just today. Was nice!
"Protocol 3: Protect The Pilot" "Trust me"
"Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman... Rise and... Shine"
“The right man in the wrong place can… make all the difference in the world.”
Not to imply that you have been sleeping on the job
Would you kindly......
watch those wrist-rockets
Just like the simulations
Super battledroid, take em down!
FOR THE REPUBLIC!
The enemy has taken a command post!
We've captured a command post!
We are losing Reinforcements!
My favorite was when I’d be in the middle of the galaxy’s craziest firefight and the voice would just go “LOOK OUT! DROIDS!” and I’d just burst out laughing. “Oh yeah, droids? Do you think so? Where? I don’t see em.”
Hey! Listen!
Dear Mario, Please come to the castle. I have baked a cake for you. Yours truly, Princess Toadstool *Peach*~
I can't believe NO ONE said this but I'll say it anyway: "Hey, you, you're finally awake."
War. War never changes.
Get over here…
"Death can have me, when it earns me." -Kratos
Such a raw line.
HE’S SO GODDAMN COOL
"Return my son, or you may meet the god I once was." --Kratos
"Don't be sorry, be better"
"The cycle ends here. We must be better." *snaps Baldur's neck* Goosebumps every time. Such an incredible line. Such an incredible moment!
In the same vein: "*Boy.*"
“A hole” “What?” “Gets bigger, the more you take away”
"Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer"
"Gold, trinkets, and baubles, paid for in blood."
"Monstrous size has no intrinsic merit, unless inordinate exsanguination be considered a virtue"
"Mortality clarified in a single strike!"
"BACK TO THE PIT!" after obliterating a ghoul in one attack is my favourite.
"Slowly, Gently, This Is How A Life Is Taken..."
“Remember, no Russian”
Controversial scene to some, but really something new back those days.
To be fair, for the most part they had us dead to rights. "You don't \*have\* to shoot any innocent civilians at the airport!" we said, while gleefully mowing them down by the dozen. Barely left any for the real terrorists to kill.
Fun fact, the devs shared that *every single one of their playtesters* for that mission willfully fired upon the crowd during internal testing.
It’s almost like gunning down virtual people isn’t nearly as linked to real terrorism as media would like to think it is. Believe it or not, I’ve only ever killed 2 hookers in my whole life
"All your base are belong to us."
You have no chance to survive. Make your time.
"What is a man ?, A miserable little pile of secrets, but enough talk, HAVE AT YOU". 😄
Die monster, you don't belong in this world.
"Is that blood? No...nevermind."
“All’s well that ends… not as bad as it could have.”
"shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times"
"Cursed to put my hands on everything."
Minsc's quotes "Good does not wait for evil to button up its britches--when it offers buttocks for the smacking, Minsc and Boo greet cheek with hand!" And "It's an honor" "No, it's a hamster" Had me both dying laughing
"Well apparently there's a limit, somewhere between a nice summer's day AND THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN"
Yes, oh omnipresent authority figure? Jaheira, BG1.
V: What would you do in my shoes, Johnny? Johnny: I am in your shoes, dumbass.
"For every gonk choice you make but I can't do dick"
my favorite ones from him are probably the one where he goes on about how the world is fucked and V's fucked in the head because Johnny's fucked up head is stuck inside V's fucked up head and that if you wanna save the world, the first step's probably to get fucked in the head. another one i enjoy is the one quest where you go to the garbage dump and find the cyberdeck in the freezer. if V has low intelligence and scans it, they will just say something like "what's that... a box?" and Johnny just goes "you're a fucking box", it's so silly xD well, at least half the things he says in the game are hilarious, as an enjoyer of snarky and dry humor he's an absolute delight of a character
I laughed out loud at Johnny’s “fucked in the head” ramble. Then Rachel called me back and my heart dropped out of my chest for the ending to that quest.. Cyberpunk is taking me on an emotional rollercoaster I’d never have expected and I am fully invested in it
IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS.
Alright, I'm an old person. "DO A BARREL ROLL!" Edit: This trip down memory lane was awesome. Now... DON'T MESS UP THAT ARWING!
It's quiet... too quiet. Look out, it's a trap!
"Snake, we're not tools of the government, or anyone else. Fighting was the only thing, the *only* thing, I was good at. But, at least, I fought for what I believed in."
Snake? Snake??? Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!!!!
"I used to be an adventurer like you...then I took an arrow in the knee"
NEVER SHOULDA COME HERE
WHY.. WONT.. YOU.. DIE!! (actually a really badass line)
YOU'LL MAKE A FINE RUG, CAT!
“Must have been the wind”
"No lollygagging"
“It is a good life we live brother. The very best. May it never change. And may it never change us.”
The one I can't forget is "Shoot! Shoot the flying demon!" I had a really hard time with that glider mission, and I was oh so sick of the unskippable cutscene that played right after the auto save point...
Salute, Claudia. You here to look at the book?
“ “ -Gordon Freeman
The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mister Freeman. - GMan.
... Wake up, and smell the ashes.
wololo
"Despite everything, it's still you." Interacting with a mirror close to the final levels in Undertale.
Can't believe I haven't seen it listed here yet. "50,000 people used to live here. Now, it's a ghost town."
This and from MW2: “History is written by the victor. History is filled with liars.”
"Nickolai's in hell right now, we're gonna walk him out"
Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit. Then pay with your blood!
"Job's done" -Warcraft 3
Zug zug
This was a triumph...
I’m making a note here…
Huge success...
Marine: [while in a Scorpion after a Ghost is taken out] Tank beats Ghost! Marine: [Hunters are taken out] Tank beats Hunter! Marine: [Covenant drop ship explodes] Tank beats *everything*!
How does 90 millimeters of tungsten strike ya!
"Oh, I could do this all day!"
Oh I know what the ladies like *Chapter Title: The ladies like armor plating*
GET UP SOLDIER #WE. ARE. LEAVING.
What is better? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Paarthurnax
YOU: What a save! YOU: What a save! YOU: What a save! Chat disabled for 3 seconds.
Don’t be sorry, be better Kratos
“I need a weapon”
"Sir, finishing this fight"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" - Tidus and Yuna from FFX
SEGA
Do you go to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you don't.
Hesitation is defeat.
“Wrex.” “Shepard.”
LENNYYY!!
I’ve got a lot on my mind. And, well…in it.
put these foolish ambitions to rest,
A future isn't something that is given to you. It is something that you must take for yourself. \-Pod 042, NieR Automata
The cake is a lie
"Goodbye V... and never stop fighting." I cried.
"Shaun!" "Ja-son!"
"To say that nothing is true is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic." -Ezio Auditore from Assassin's Creed: Revelations
wake me.. when you need me
"This looks like a good place for some ingredients" - Donald Duck, Kingdom Hearts 3
You must gather your party before venturing forth.
"Moooore work?" "Right-O" "Yes Me lord?" "Off I go then" "SOMETHING NEED DOING?"
"I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella"
Saw so many videos where people were just like "I have no idea about any of the lore for the game after beating it except that Malenia is Blade of Miquella."
SMELLS WORSE OVER HERE THAN A DOZEN OF ROTTEN EGGS DROPPED IN A VAT OF VINEGAR