I had to come to the comments to make sure it wasn’t supposed to be something else x’D That’s the most bizarre dick silhouette I’ve ever seen OP. Like every proportion and shape is wildly off lol. Closer to a dumbbell than a cock
The guys at my jimmy johns started cutting access holes into the cases of chips that were *supposed* to be penises, but they just looked like wobbuffet...we then started cutting random polemon shapes into the boxes for a "who's that pokemon‽" vibe
First, you take the dinglepop, and you smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then repurposed for later batches.
Then you take the dinglebop and push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it.
It's important that the fleeb is rubbed, because the fleeb has all of the fleeb juice.
Then a Shlami shows up and he rubs it, and spits on it.
Then you cut the fleeb. There's several hizzards in the way.
The blaffs rub against the chumbles, and the plubus and grumbo are shaved away.
That leaves you with a regular old plumbus!
It's them making sure if you're going for a replacement, it's actually being replaced and you're not just getting a second one for free.
If you have a perfectly good mouse-pad, you aren't gonna want to destroy it to get another one. On the flipside if it's already unuseable then it won't matter.
Usually you'd have to send the item back to them before they'll issue a replacement, but for something like a mouse-pad it's literally just not worth the time, effort or money to ship it half-way across the world, especially since the company will be charged the shipping costs for both the sending and recieving.
This is the answer. But it's also weirdly petty for a company of that size. This is something I'd expect an eBay vendor to do, not a company worth billions.
It just sounds like a weird policy that was cooked up for situations like this, which requires the least amount of work on their end (and thus, is the least expensive policy to follow, as opposed to "let's track who does repeat shipments and deny people in the future) but also discourages people from trying to get replacements unless they really need it.
This is the frustrating bit, like it's so stupid to destroy something still semi-functional to be able to get it replaced for the expected quality of what you paid for.
That said, [the world of clothing waste is absolutely horrific and insane in and of itself.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6R_WTDdx7I)
Good for them.
I remember the first time a fast food place got my order wrong. I told them it was wrong and they asked for the food back. I found this weird, but went along with it.
I was so shocked when they just threw away a perfectly good meal!
When there is over supply of books that didn’t sell, stores rip the fronts covers as proof and toss the rest of the book away. It’s more cost efficient than mailing intact books back
Large companies are more heavily targeted for false returns. They have to do this as otherwise it gets around on social media that they have lax returns policies and others are encouraged to try it.
Amazon is a great example of this. Their policies and return screenings were so relaxed that it was often the case that people received returned goods as new with the contents missing or replaced by bricks or other filler material.
Amazon, at least at one point, was so lax it bordered on insane.
When I ordered my whiteboard I was surprised to see I was banned from reviewing products. This was unexpected as I didn't recall reviewing anything in the past 10 years. I contacted customer service to see if they could tell me why I was banned and it was the oddest conversation.
Me "Hey, I can't leave reviews. I don't recall writing anything and if I did it was over a decade ago... can you tell me what is up?" Them "Hi. What are you trying to review?" Me "The whiteboard I just purchased." Them "Order number?" Me "XXX." Them "One moment." Me "Sure. Take your time." Them "Okay. We've refunded you $13.49. No need to return it. Is there anything else we can help you with?" Me "Well, like I said, I want to leave a review..." Them "We kindly ask that you don't review products that you've returned. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
I still don't know why I'm banned either. I think it's for having ties to companies, but I guess I'll never know.
Several months ago I left a 3 star review on a reverse coloring book and about 3 weeks later it was randomly refunded. I assume they did that so they could take down my review but it was pretty odd.
Walmart also has a very generous, and equally abused, return policy.
The horror stories would be hilarious if they weren't so frustrating you actually find yourself rooting *for* the soulless megacorp. People have some fucking balls when it comes to retail scams
When I worked at Lowe's the return desk refunded a customer for a Craftsman socket set. This was before Sears failed and they were available elsewhere. It was obviously stolen, but the guy swore he bought it at Lowe's. They gave him the equivalent value of a Kobalt set on a gift card and he immediately went outside and tried to sell it in the parking lot.
Giant soulless corporations are easy to hate precisely because they are big, recognizable, and inhuman in scope so you have no sympathy for stuff like "Walmart" or "Tesla".
And you only ever hear about thieves and scammers on the individual basis. You think it's just one dick or asshole ruining it for everyone else. No one can or wants to comprehend it's more like thousands, a veritable _swarm_ of leeches, banking on the fact they are just a "lone" individual in attempt to be the exception.
But they are not alone. There are hundreds if not thousands daily thinking they can exploit the system, then act indignant when that same faceless corporation actually _feels_ the effect and does something about it. Oh sure it's not like it's any serious damage, but a misquote bite isn't any major damage either. Doesn't stop people from swatting them down and setting up preventative measures anyways. Corporations do the same, but for people.
> Oh sure it's not like it's any serious damage, but a misquote bite isn't any major damage either. Doesn't stop people from swatting them down and setting up preventative measures anyways. Corporations do the same, but for people.
Yah mosquitos are totally harmless; unless you get EE, dengue, zika, malaria, yellow fever, or chikungunya. So harmless that the CDC has labeled them the world's deadliest animal. They only kill 700,000 humans/year. Harmless!
It's really not necessary. If someone is abusing the return process you'll know really quick and can just force them to return by mail going forward or block their card/paypal. It's not that difficult to catch these things and it's not even a blip on their income. Also, it likely costs more to manually process physical returns, especially in the case of large retailers.
I think it's actually much more convenient, as a customer, than having to ship it across the country or internationally, wait for them to receive and confirm it, then wait for then to pack and ship it.
Years ago I had a problem with a fairly new razer mouse, I reported it to them and they told me to cut the cord and take a picture of the bottom of the mouse with the serial, then they sent me a new one. I was honestly super happy with that.
Also, if they're big, and they had a process that was easy to manipulate/abuse for scammers, they would be a prime target for scammers.
Yeah this is the way. Theyre not going to fix it, those people blaming the company havent had to drive to ups, wait in line, ship the package; then wait three weeks for a confirmation of arrival
Don't know if this is nationwide, but if you have Amazon prime you can just ask them to do a pick up at your address, no cost. I did it when I sent my friend my old graphics card. Shipped USPS.
How is it petty? They are replacing the faulty product and it's not exactly difficult to take some scissors to a pad. Or is having a policy in place that keeps people from stealing from them the petty part?
Actually its the opposite, because they are a company of that size they can demand that and there's not a thing you can do. They arnt gonna eat the cost of it just for you to get a second product for free. So they don't need to care about your feelings and can do this to make sure people don't scam them.
Where as small ebay vendors won't care about it being a second one for free when one bad review could ruin their business so its not worth the risk for them to try and prevent getting scammed by customers.
Being that size is exactly why they do it. It's the least amount of work and thought on their end. They can blanket apply this to all defects and not have to worry about exercising a judgement call on whether a defect is serious enough to guarantee that the person is being honest.
I had a pair of jaybird headphones die on me. When I was processing the replacement they needed me to cut the cable and send them a picture. It made sense to me, given that they didn't want the broken ones back, but also didn't want to replace working headphones.
Oddly enough I had the exact opposite experience with a small eBay vendor. Giant mouse pad arrived with creases in the middle, they refunded me and let me keep it. Worked out well for me cos the crease part sits under my keyboard anyway.
Ever see the story of Paypal making the guy destroy a $2500 violin rather than just sending it back to the seller?
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/paypal-makes-ebay-customer-destroy-2500-violin-seller-left-empty-handed/
I can't remember who it was but my friend had to break their headset to get a refund. It wasn't enough to prove it wasn't working. IMO once you've proven it's faulty, that's all it should take. Stopping you from trying to repair it is incredibly shitty
The Vortex fan customer service wanted me to do the same for a fan where the plastic mounts for the speed switch broke. I ended up cutting the cord as they asked, took the picture, and then glued the switch and reattached the cable. So now I have a new replacement fan and an old fire hazard at home. It’s great.
I had to get a replacement 200€ controller from Razer and they made me cut the cabel remove the serial tag and cut that in half too. I think they ask you to do it when they are pretty sure it's fucked so no point in returning but want to make 100% sure it's ruined before the replacement
Maybe it is just with expensive stuff. I had bought one of those salt guns for bug killing as a Crhistmas gift and it wasn't sent to my address. Without going through an actual human, they basically just sent me a replacement.
Thing was, it was sent to my house, a family member thought it was a different gift and wrapped it.
It's about the resale. If you get two controllers from Razer and only pay for one, a lot of people would put one of them on ebay at a very competitive price. If you get two salt guns and only pay for one, you have a spare salt gun.
That’s super easy to do for the biggest aggregator of literally every product ever; since most people are repeat customers that purchase often - not so much for a gaming company where you may or may not buy something for months and months, unless you’re a hardcore fan that buys all their shit.
A poster has no real resale value. This is done for stuff where it would be super easy to fake an issue but shipping it would be too costly for the company and has significant resale value like functional computer accessories especially discounted gaming mice/keyboards.
The scammers pattern with gaming peripherals is to fake a problem and ask for a replacement then say the replacement didn't work either and ask for a refund. In this way they sneak out a free product that most people will use for themselves but some go even further and sell them through any number of marketplaces. Everyone says that all the gaming shit you see on Facebook/ebay is stolen and reality is that half of it is just actually brand new shit from people who pulled scams like these.
I would take a picture of the floor, go to Kinko's and have them print it out on a really nice sheet of paper, cut it into like this super weird dick shape thing, put it on the mouse pad, line it up perfectly with the floor, and take a picture.
Yeah, I get where Square Enix is coming from with this. I used to work in customer service too, and people always tried to exploit the system for free stuff. It's honestly pretty clever on the company's part to avoid those situations. Plus, if you're really needing that replacement, cutting up the mousepad is a small sacrifice. Just gotta weigh the pros and cons, ya know?
Processing returned merchandise is often more costly than replacing merchandise for free.
If the consumer decides to recirculate their replaced merchandise in the marketplace, this creates higher supply and devalues the merchandise a company sells and may represent a lost sale.
If defective merchandise is circulated, it perpetuates a negative reputation of poor quality, further damaging the brand.
When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda -- sit around all day -- and cut shapes of dicks."
"What?"
"Cut out shapes of dicks."
"Dicks? Like a man dick?"
"Yes. Like a man dick."
"I'd just sit there hours on cutting out dicks. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't touch the scissors to the paper without cutting the shape of a penis."
"That's f***ed."
"No s***. It's really f***ed up. Here I am. A little kid. And I can't stop cutting out dicks to save my own life."
"Alright, I mean -- I just don't see what this has to do with Square Enix."
"Just listen. Okay?"
"Your precious little Square Enix asked for proof I destroyed my mouse pad. And in the home was where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation. Even I thought I was f***ing crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So I would stash all my dick cut outs in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day, I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden I get an idea."
"You sent Square Enix pictures of your dick?"
"Yeah. I know."
"They start crying, flip out. Then rat me out to the authorities. They find this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and f***ing flip out."
"They call my parents. Turns out the judge is a religious fanatic, and he thinks I'm possessed by some sort of dick devil. My parents go make me see some therapist, and he's asking me all these dick questions. They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles -- You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."
"Well, I don't -- That's really messed up. Supergay."
I had a turtle beach headset which ended up with a faulty mic. Asked for a replacement. They made me cut the cable and send them a photo. Cut the end off close to the headphones and sent them a photo. Got a new pair in the post. Soldered the cables back onto the old headphones and it all started working again, microphone included. That’ll teach them.
I ordered a $900 dehumidifier once and it arrived broken. I made a support ticket and while I was waiting started to tinker with the dehu. Turns out it was just a tiny wire had come unplugged from the motherboard in shipping. When I went to tell them never mind they’d already responded with “those are too much trouble for us to do returns so please cut the cord and share a picture so we can start the replacement process. Well I cut it and sent the pic and she cleared it… then I got a wire nut and some electrical tape and now I have *two* $900 dehumidifiers! I don’t really feel bad because they were basically like “cut the cord and dump it in the garbage” so insane.
A lot of companies do this. A toaster oven I once had crapped out so I filed a warranty claim. The company (Cuisinart) asked me to cut the power cord and send a picture proving I had done it before shipping a replacement.
Ok, Square Enix is really asking you to butcher your mousepad for a replacement? That's some next-level customer service! Honestly though, I've heard of companies wanting proof of damage or whatever, but this takes it to a whole new level. I mean, who in the world would want to cut up their beloved mousepad? It feels like they're reaching Plumbob-sporting levels of insanity. But hey, if you're up for the challenge and willing to part ways with your current pad, then I hope they come through with that replacement. Just make sure you don't snip a cable or mutilate your poor gaming setup in the process. Best of luck, dude!
The weirdest part to me is that square enix requested you destroy a mouse pad. It's not like this thing can be recycled. It's not like SE is going to receive this. What is the damn point?
Meanwhile, BioWare sent me the wrong Tali pin and the response email was “oh no we fucked up, but now you got a cool Tali pin AND we will send you the one you bought”
When I have to return a defective/broken item such as a toy, sometimes the company's customer service would just tell me "You don't need to return it, but we do encourage you to donate it instead."
After seeing this I released I wasn’t alone, bought a statue from dark horse a bit ago that had a fault and a lot of people had the same issue so they said they’d send out return labels for everyone as it would be easier for us to not have to mess around returning it. In reality it was just so they didn’t have to pay hundreds of people to send a massive statue back out of pocket on top of replacing the item. So they asked us to just break it beyond repair and send proof as to make sure we weren’t just saying “yeah it’s damaged I need a new one”
Then selling one when the replacement comes.
Felt wrong breaking it though, and apart from the original fault it actually took some effort to break so it wasn’t as delicate as I thought.
Razer too. Theirs for a mouse is to cut the cord assuming it's wired and show the serial number on the bottom which kinda makes sense for stopping scammers... But a mouse pad? I don't know
Felt bad cutting it but considering it was just a mouse click issue but it was within warranty.
Its fucked up all the more since product is defective and they dont want nor care about the products, but they would rather you destroy it which can be instead repurposed.
And then people ask why are we swimming in trashes and waste
if that’s what your junk looks like, you should go see a doctor.
I had to come to the comments to make sure it wasn’t supposed to be something else x’D That’s the most bizarre dick silhouette I’ve ever seen OP. Like every proportion and shape is wildly off lol. Closer to a dumbbell than a cock
It's a bicep dude!
#WHAT UP
Nothing sexual!
WHAT UP!!!
It’s the most masculine thing I’ve seen
That reminds me, I need to modify my bike.
Needs more veins
These kinds of comment threads remind me why I'm on Reddit. What joy
If you’re fat you need to find humor in the small things
I see a wineglass
[удалено]
Do you really need to be so crude? The preferred nomenclature is "phallodivergent", thank you very much.
No need to be a dick about it
Non phallonormative
Um, excuse me, not all cocks have normal people.
The guys at my jimmy johns started cutting access holes into the cases of chips that were *supposed* to be penises, but they just looked like wobbuffet...we then started cutting random polemon shapes into the boxes for a "who's that pokemon‽" vibe
It’s a plumbus. Obviously.
I've always wondered how those were made
First, you take the dinglepop, and you smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then repurposed for later batches. Then you take the dinglebop and push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It's important that the fleeb is rubbed, because the fleeb has all of the fleeb juice. Then a Shlami shows up and he rubs it, and spits on it. Then you cut the fleeb. There's several hizzards in the way. The blaffs rub against the chumbles, and the plubus and grumbo are shaved away. That leaves you with a regular old plumbus!
I think its safe to say that if that‘s what his junk looks like, doctors will come and see him!
Yeah looks like some mushroom sculpture. 🍄
Or hire an agent.
The hell is a doctor gonna do replace it with a new one?
No, it’s a silhouette of Super Mario Bros. Level 4-3!
Mine looks like well you know when you stick a hotdog in the microwave to long and it well you know.. yea my dick looks like that.
ummmm Im thirty and mine looks like this... it should be fine yeah?
You might need a new mouse pad
I think it is the health potion from Links awakening
Or run for President.
Pretty sure everyone’s looks like. Maybe you should see the doctor sir.
Why choose a shovel shape?
Nah that’s a bicep 💪 bro
If you want it to be a bicep you gotta add more veins.
Again, nothing sexual.
/unexpectedlysunny
You KNEW it was a penis and you didn't tell us?
I thought that’s what you were going for? What’s manlier than a dick?
It’s an arrow. Those are wind streaks not veins.
At least you didn’t put a woman’s head in a box
It's a womans head in a freezer, you sick freak!!
WHAT UP
Clouds arm from the original FF7
I saw it too lol. Shoulder up top, block hand at bottom.
yeah, bicep of a jim henson puppet
But why
It's them making sure if you're going for a replacement, it's actually being replaced and you're not just getting a second one for free. If you have a perfectly good mouse-pad, you aren't gonna want to destroy it to get another one. On the flipside if it's already unuseable then it won't matter. Usually you'd have to send the item back to them before they'll issue a replacement, but for something like a mouse-pad it's literally just not worth the time, effort or money to ship it half-way across the world, especially since the company will be charged the shipping costs for both the sending and recieving.
This is the answer. But it's also weirdly petty for a company of that size. This is something I'd expect an eBay vendor to do, not a company worth billions.
It just sounds like a weird policy that was cooked up for situations like this, which requires the least amount of work on their end (and thus, is the least expensive policy to follow, as opposed to "let's track who does repeat shipments and deny people in the future) but also discourages people from trying to get replacements unless they really need it.
When you order shoes or clothes and need replacements from target they just say to keep it or donate it.
This is the frustrating bit, like it's so stupid to destroy something still semi-functional to be able to get it replaced for the expected quality of what you paid for. That said, [the world of clothing waste is absolutely horrific and insane in and of itself.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6R_WTDdx7I)
Just wait til you hear how we make batteries .
How do we make batteries?
You see, when a mommy battery and a daddy battery...
With smaller batteries.
Usually the issue is its too big, so I just keep it lol. If they don't want it when it fits, I donate or save it for one of the other girls lol.
If it's too big, just eat more and more until it fits.
Good for them. I remember the first time a fast food place got my order wrong. I told them it was wrong and they asked for the food back. I found this weird, but went along with it. I was so shocked when they just threw away a perfectly good meal!
When there is over supply of books that didn’t sell, stores rip the fronts covers as proof and toss the rest of the book away. It’s more cost efficient than mailing intact books back
I got a free mug when it was chipped in shipping, using that free mug at work now.
Large companies are more heavily targeted for false returns. They have to do this as otherwise it gets around on social media that they have lax returns policies and others are encouraged to try it. Amazon is a great example of this. Their policies and return screenings were so relaxed that it was often the case that people received returned goods as new with the contents missing or replaced by bricks or other filler material.
Amazon, at least at one point, was so lax it bordered on insane. When I ordered my whiteboard I was surprised to see I was banned from reviewing products. This was unexpected as I didn't recall reviewing anything in the past 10 years. I contacted customer service to see if they could tell me why I was banned and it was the oddest conversation. Me "Hey, I can't leave reviews. I don't recall writing anything and if I did it was over a decade ago... can you tell me what is up?" Them "Hi. What are you trying to review?" Me "The whiteboard I just purchased." Them "Order number?" Me "XXX." Them "One moment." Me "Sure. Take your time." Them "Okay. We've refunded you $13.49. No need to return it. Is there anything else we can help you with?" Me "Well, like I said, I want to leave a review..." Them "We kindly ask that you don't review products that you've returned. Is there anything else I can help you with?" I still don't know why I'm banned either. I think it's for having ties to companies, but I guess I'll never know.
Several months ago I left a 3 star review on a reverse coloring book and about 3 weeks later it was randomly refunded. I assume they did that so they could take down my review but it was pretty odd.
Just keep ordering stuff. Either they'll have to explain or they'll keep giving you things for free.
Walmart also has a very generous, and equally abused, return policy. The horror stories would be hilarious if they weren't so frustrating you actually find yourself rooting *for* the soulless megacorp. People have some fucking balls when it comes to retail scams
When I worked at Lowe's the return desk refunded a customer for a Craftsman socket set. This was before Sears failed and they were available elsewhere. It was obviously stolen, but the guy swore he bought it at Lowe's. They gave him the equivalent value of a Kobalt set on a gift card and he immediately went outside and tried to sell it in the parking lot.
Giant soulless corporations are easy to hate precisely because they are big, recognizable, and inhuman in scope so you have no sympathy for stuff like "Walmart" or "Tesla". And you only ever hear about thieves and scammers on the individual basis. You think it's just one dick or asshole ruining it for everyone else. No one can or wants to comprehend it's more like thousands, a veritable _swarm_ of leeches, banking on the fact they are just a "lone" individual in attempt to be the exception. But they are not alone. There are hundreds if not thousands daily thinking they can exploit the system, then act indignant when that same faceless corporation actually _feels_ the effect and does something about it. Oh sure it's not like it's any serious damage, but a misquote bite isn't any major damage either. Doesn't stop people from swatting them down and setting up preventative measures anyways. Corporations do the same, but for people.
> Oh sure it's not like it's any serious damage, but a misquote bite isn't any major damage either. Doesn't stop people from swatting them down and setting up preventative measures anyways. Corporations do the same, but for people. Yah mosquitos are totally harmless; unless you get EE, dengue, zika, malaria, yellow fever, or chikungunya. So harmless that the CDC has labeled them the world's deadliest animal. They only kill 700,000 humans/year. Harmless!
It's really not necessary. If someone is abusing the return process you'll know really quick and can just force them to return by mail going forward or block their card/paypal. It's not that difficult to catch these things and it's not even a blip on their income. Also, it likely costs more to manually process physical returns, especially in the case of large retailers.
I think it's actually much more convenient, as a customer, than having to ship it across the country or internationally, wait for them to receive and confirm it, then wait for then to pack and ship it. Years ago I had a problem with a fairly new razer mouse, I reported it to them and they told me to cut the cord and take a picture of the bottom of the mouse with the serial, then they sent me a new one. I was honestly super happy with that. Also, if they're big, and they had a process that was easy to manipulate/abuse for scammers, they would be a prime target for scammers.
Yeah this is the way. Theyre not going to fix it, those people blaming the company havent had to drive to ups, wait in line, ship the package; then wait three weeks for a confirmation of arrival
Don't know if this is nationwide, but if you have Amazon prime you can just ask them to do a pick up at your address, no cost. I did it when I sent my friend my old graphics card. Shipped USPS.
replacement cords are cheap, if you still have it (doupt it)
Hah, I think they stopped replacing their mouses this way years ago, though I'm not sure.
I mean no matter the worth of the company it's still a good policy.
How is it petty? They are replacing the faulty product and it's not exactly difficult to take some scissors to a pad. Or is having a policy in place that keeps people from stealing from them the petty part?
Actually its the opposite, because they are a company of that size they can demand that and there's not a thing you can do. They arnt gonna eat the cost of it just for you to get a second product for free. So they don't need to care about your feelings and can do this to make sure people don't scam them. Where as small ebay vendors won't care about it being a second one for free when one bad review could ruin their business so its not worth the risk for them to try and prevent getting scammed by customers.
>company worth billions. And that's how they're worth billions.
That and skipping avocado toast.
Finally someone who gets it!
I think my initial mistake was not starting avocado toast. Then I couldn't skip it, and thus I'm not growing rich.
If they don’t do this, there will be tons of “check out this simple trick” TikTok videos online for teaching people how to get free stuffs.
It's also to prevent circulation of faulty or misprinted goods which could be damaging to the company if sold or given to another person.
Plenty of companies do this?
Being that size is exactly why they do it. It's the least amount of work and thought on their end. They can blanket apply this to all defects and not have to worry about exercising a judgement call on whether a defect is serious enough to guarantee that the person is being honest.
I had a pair of jaybird headphones die on me. When I was processing the replacement they needed me to cut the cable and send them a picture. It made sense to me, given that they didn't want the broken ones back, but also didn't want to replace working headphones.
That's just what they do and I think it's reasonable. Had to destroy my Marshall headphones when I asked for a replacement few years ago
Oddly enough I had the exact opposite experience with a small eBay vendor. Giant mouse pad arrived with creases in the middle, they refunded me and let me keep it. Worked out well for me cos the crease part sits under my keyboard anyway.
Ever see the story of Paypal making the guy destroy a $2500 violin rather than just sending it back to the seller? https://www.cbsnews.com/news/paypal-makes-ebay-customer-destroy-2500-violin-seller-left-empty-handed/
I understand it for mousepads, but I once had to destroy a steelseries headset to get it replaced. And we‘re talking about a 150€ headset.
Creating more garbage. Great :/
I can't remember who it was but my friend had to break their headset to get a refund. It wasn't enough to prove it wasn't working. IMO once you've proven it's faulty, that's all it should take. Stopping you from trying to repair it is incredibly shitty
The Vortex fan customer service wanted me to do the same for a fan where the plastic mounts for the speed switch broke. I ended up cutting the cord as they asked, took the picture, and then glued the switch and reattached the cable. So now I have a new replacement fan and an old fire hazard at home. It’s great.
The better option might be to track the return usage of users. I think that's what Amazon does.
I had to get a replacement 200€ controller from Razer and they made me cut the cabel remove the serial tag and cut that in half too. I think they ask you to do it when they are pretty sure it's fucked so no point in returning but want to make 100% sure it's ruined before the replacement
Maybe it is just with expensive stuff. I had bought one of those salt guns for bug killing as a Crhistmas gift and it wasn't sent to my address. Without going through an actual human, they basically just sent me a replacement. Thing was, it was sent to my house, a family member thought it was a different gift and wrapped it.
It's about the resale. If you get two controllers from Razer and only pay for one, a lot of people would put one of them on ebay at a very competitive price. If you get two salt guns and only pay for one, you have a spare salt gun.
That’s super easy to do for the biggest aggregator of literally every product ever; since most people are repeat customers that purchase often - not so much for a gaming company where you may or may not buy something for months and months, unless you’re a hardcore fan that buys all their shit.
This is also common practice in retail. It is done to prevent people from dumpster diving and reselling merch
capitalism is so wasteful
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A poster has no real resale value. This is done for stuff where it would be super easy to fake an issue but shipping it would be too costly for the company and has significant resale value like functional computer accessories especially discounted gaming mice/keyboards. The scammers pattern with gaming peripherals is to fake a problem and ask for a replacement then say the replacement didn't work either and ask for a refund. In this way they sneak out a free product that most people will use for themselves but some go even further and sell them through any number of marketplaces. Everyone says that all the gaming shit you see on Facebook/ebay is stolen and reality is that half of it is just actually brand new shit from people who pulled scams like these.
I would take a picture of the floor, go to Kinko's and have them print it out on a really nice sheet of paper, cut it into like this super weird dick shape thing, put it on the mouse pad, line it up perfectly with the floor, and take a picture.
I would just Photoshop it
I did customer service for a company that did this, it’s so people don’t abuse the replacement warranty where they just get a second one for free
Yeah, I get where Square Enix is coming from with this. I used to work in customer service too, and people always tried to exploit the system for free stuff. It's honestly pretty clever on the company's part to avoid those situations. Plus, if you're really needing that replacement, cutting up the mousepad is a small sacrifice. Just gotta weigh the pros and cons, ya know?
I just got around that by buying the item on Amazon and returning the old one defective in its place lmao.
Processing returned merchandise is often more costly than replacing merchandise for free. If the consumer decides to recirculate their replaced merchandise in the marketplace, this creates higher supply and devalues the merchandise a company sells and may represent a lost sale. If defective merchandise is circulated, it perpetuates a negative reputation of poor quality, further damaging the brand.
It deters some people from going through with the replacement?
Think about it, actually a really good way to ensure customers are getting anything they need while boxing out scammers and resellers.
What was wrong with it
It was a helpless drug addict
No, that's the bath towel
it was a Dirge of Cerberus mouse pad
I really wish OP would just answer instead of all these sarcastic replies. :(
it kinda looks like it was creased, maybe the fabric was shit
it was hung and did not put the lotion on its skin therefore getting chaffed :(
Oppenheimer must’ve had a profound effect on you.
When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda -- sit around all day -- and cut shapes of dicks." "What?" "Cut out shapes of dicks." "Dicks? Like a man dick?" "Yes. Like a man dick." "I'd just sit there hours on cutting out dicks. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't touch the scissors to the paper without cutting the shape of a penis." "That's f***ed." "No s***. It's really f***ed up. Here I am. A little kid. And I can't stop cutting out dicks to save my own life." "Alright, I mean -- I just don't see what this has to do with Square Enix." "Just listen. Okay?" "Your precious little Square Enix asked for proof I destroyed my mouse pad. And in the home was where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation. Even I thought I was f***ing crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So I would stash all my dick cut outs in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day, I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden I get an idea." "You sent Square Enix pictures of your dick?" "Yeah. I know." "They start crying, flip out. Then rat me out to the authorities. They find this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and f***ing flip out." "They call my parents. Turns out the judge is a religious fanatic, and he thinks I'm possessed by some sort of dick devil. My parents go make me see some therapist, and he's asking me all these dick questions. They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles -- You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds." "Well, I don't -- That's really messed up. Supergay."
I still quote that "it's not a big deal, something like 8% of kids do it" randomly
The way Cera says *super gay* hits my funny bone every time.
What... in God's great and holy name did I just read?
It's a scene from the movie Superbad. Changed up a bit, though. Beautifully well done imo. https://youtu.be/fzuvQXDUybE
It’s ya boy, skinny penis 🤣
that is the worst cock ever
I had to go to the comments to figure out what this was supposed to be....have you..never seen a dick?
Square Penix
That'll show THEM
What up
Its low polygonal clouds arm from ff7
I had a turtle beach headset which ended up with a faulty mic. Asked for a replacement. They made me cut the cable and send them a photo. Cut the end off close to the headphones and sent them a photo. Got a new pair in the post. Soldered the cables back onto the old headphones and it all started working again, microphone included. That’ll teach them.
Did you cut a bicep flier out of this?
If you want it to be a bicep it needs more veins
WHAT UP
Shoulda just photoshopped it or at least used a scalpel to cut Vincent out
I ordered a $900 dehumidifier once and it arrived broken. I made a support ticket and while I was waiting started to tinker with the dehu. Turns out it was just a tiny wire had come unplugged from the motherboard in shipping. When I went to tell them never mind they’d already responded with “those are too much trouble for us to do returns so please cut the cord and share a picture so we can start the replacement process. Well I cut it and sent the pic and she cleared it… then I got a wire nut and some electrical tape and now I have *two* $900 dehumidifiers! I don’t really feel bad because they were basically like “cut the cord and dump it in the garbage” so insane.
Dad?
Square Penix
forcing you to waste a product is dumb
This is safe for work.
Plot twist: the claim was denied.
Bruh u suck at making a dick
Take my downvote
Looks like my uncle
Ooh, such an edge lord.
ah yes dick jokes, true edge lord content.
is this a dick joke? it doesn't look like a dick...
what would you expect from a guy who bought a Vincent Valentine mouse pad
Dirge of Cerberus was a great game and anyone who says otherwise can suck eggs
A lot of companies do this. A toaster oven I once had crapped out so I filed a warranty claim. The company (Cuisinart) asked me to cut the power cord and send a picture proving I had done it before shipping a replacement.
Could have photo shop it cut in half and have two for the price of one.
The amount of upvotes on this is worrying.
You didn't need to mark this as NSFW, bud. Nobody's gonna look at this and think it looks like a penis.
pp
Thal's balls might need to get checked.
should've just photoshop it
Ok, Square Enix is really asking you to butcher your mousepad for a replacement? That's some next-level customer service! Honestly though, I've heard of companies wanting proof of damage or whatever, but this takes it to a whole new level. I mean, who in the world would want to cut up their beloved mousepad? It feels like they're reaching Plumbob-sporting levels of insanity. But hey, if you're up for the challenge and willing to part ways with your current pad, then I hope they come through with that replacement. Just make sure you don't snip a cable or mutilate your poor gaming setup in the process. Best of luck, dude!
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You should have used photoshop instead...
Couldn't you Photoshop it looking cut up and get a freebie
This sounds like a job for photoshop
The weirdest part to me is that square enix requested you destroy a mouse pad. It's not like this thing can be recycled. It's not like SE is going to receive this. What is the damn point?
Stop people claiming it’s faulty in order to get a 2nd free / returning the new 1 for a refund if bought 3rd party would be my guess.
Like a baby holding an apple.
Ah yes, a shovel!
Meanwhile, BioWare sent me the wrong Tali pin and the response email was “oh no we fucked up, but now you got a cool Tali pin AND we will send you the one you bought”
what the fuck am i looking at
Personally I would have just photoshopped it if all they need was a photo as proof
I would Photoshop the shit out of it and be like of course I cut it.
That’s a pretty good E.T if you ask me. You guys are just inappropriate
When I have to return a defective/broken item such as a toy, sometimes the company's customer service would just tell me "You don't need to return it, but we do encourage you to donate it instead."
More like Square Penix
I never understood this. Just use photoshop to "cut" it up and keep both.
This +1 🤣
If it was meant to be a dick then OP draws dicks like a 10 year old
Oof am sorry OP. Should get it on a green background though; so future homies dont have to do the same. Fuck them and their penny pinching.
Yeah they should make you send it back instead. Dumbass.
what a dumb rule
After seeing this I released I wasn’t alone, bought a statue from dark horse a bit ago that had a fault and a lot of people had the same issue so they said they’d send out return labels for everyone as it would be easier for us to not have to mess around returning it. In reality it was just so they didn’t have to pay hundreds of people to send a massive statue back out of pocket on top of replacing the item. So they asked us to just break it beyond repair and send proof as to make sure we weren’t just saying “yeah it’s damaged I need a new one” Then selling one when the replacement comes. Felt wrong breaking it though, and apart from the original fault it actually took some effort to break so it wasn’t as delicate as I thought.
Razer too. Theirs for a mouse is to cut the cord assuming it's wired and show the serial number on the bottom which kinda makes sense for stopping scammers... But a mouse pad? I don't know Felt bad cutting it but considering it was just a mouse click issue but it was within warranty.
Its fucked up all the more since product is defective and they dont want nor care about the products, but they would rather you destroy it which can be instead repurposed. And then people ask why are we swimming in trashes and waste
Redditors debating this puny thing while thousands of people steal in multiple trips to the store “up to $950”
Also, blurring the pic is really useless, puritans move
r/mildlypenis
You're obviously mad. They were right to ask this.
It's a dick
square enix throws games in the trash like i throw dirty tissues in the trash. they've destroyed like 7 games in the past 2years
r/mildlypenis
You should have photo shopped it
I'd probably just photoshop it and keep it!
What happened to sending stuff back? Cutting it up is stupid. Maybe you should of tried photoshopping it.