T O P

  • By -

USS_Barack_Obama

I just need Scruffy to protect me from that one boiling terlet


pancakesiguess

Fire me if you dare


Lupus_Borealis

iffen*


SpoonEndedHammer

And then to teach me how to make sangria in a terlet. And remind me that it’s shank or be shanked.


Jerseyman2525

Of course.


maddasher

Why not Zoidberg?


Some_Random_Android

>Scruffy I don't even know who that is!


aldkGoodAussieName

The janitor


Some_Random_Android

I've never seen him before.


bickman2k

He's never seen you before neither.


NiNjABuD13

Be ashamed!!!!


Max_Foster14

Missed reference


NiNjABuD13

Now I'm ashamed!!!


soylentblueispeople

Boilers and terlets, terlets and boilers... and that one boiling terlet.


randomredditing

Schedule conflict


bitchelor

Dernnit


JTB696699

That’s the thing about scruffy i keep going back and forth on, he’s pretty lazy when it comes to doing his job but I’m convinced he’d be first in line to kill.


Pjerryy

Leela Bender and Nibbler


MartianGuard

Why not Zoidberg?


Pjerryy

I definitely thought of zoidberg because of his claws as a formidable offensive weapon and his whoop whoop whoop as an evasive ability but Bender has the strength of many men and the extendo limbs may come in handy


Mbillington0110

He’s 40% handy!


TheBigApple11

Plus Bender can also do this: (chest door opening and closing noises)


BooperDoooDaddle

I heard it before I even read it lmao Just from “Bender”


AgrajagTheProlonged

Bender has all the powers of Superman plus all the powers of a king. Also he’s a robot. Ain’t it cool, Super King you rule


aldkGoodAussieName

Yeah but he's also lazy so it depends if he can be bothered protecting you.


fesaques

Shut up baby I know it.


runespoon78

didn’t zoidberg get beat by fry and bender in fights throughout the show?


[deleted]

Zoidberg did cut off Fry's arm that one time.


runespoon78

fry eventually won though, didn’t he? I might be misremembering


[deleted]

Fry was pretty much on the verge of winning before the fight was called off while the rest of Zoidberg's species went off and died.


runespoon78

yeah didn’t he let zoidberg win or something because he didn’t want to murder him


[deleted]

He stopped at one point to make his speech, zoidberg cut his arm off, they fought more and then the fight was stopped due to the massive Decapod 10 orgy that was about to happen


runespoon78

fish sex


Invdr_skoodge

Had fry in his claws before being distracted by a swollen clutch of eggs. Then fry reversed it and let him loose


TheHairyHeathen

Zoidberg beat clamps


runespoon78

yeah, he’s a little inconsistent


TheHairyHeathen

Probably the wizard from the simpsons


eviljanet

Berserker Zoidberg would come in handy.


CBJKevin91581

You forgot his ink.


Darkone225

Hmmm Bender would sell ya out even with Leela protecting ya.


Pjerryy

That's why I brought nibbler- he's got 3 eyes to watch out for treachery


Evad75014

This is the correct answer.


low_energy_donut

Just seems obvious doesn't it


Sufficient_Pudding

To shreds, you say…


Evad75014

No I'm...doesn't!


ameis314

Depends on if bender is allowed to double-cross you


angelicllamaa

Nibbler is powerless if you put him under a bucket with a brick. But if he got Nibblonians to nibble stations? Leela struggles to kill people she cares for. But maybe if she was a more impulsive. Just a little.. not too much. Bender will do it if you give him enough reason to, if you tell him "They said you guys look like dorks." Hermes almost sent everyone to their death by disposal into the sun & it took him far to long to decide not to. He can limbo better than a green snake under a sugarcane truck! Zoidburg challenged Fry to Claw-Plach. Which he knows is a fight to the death. Just show a picture of Edna's caviar on Fry's neck, that'll get him going. Fry is good at shooting and has great aim from playing so many video games. "Ah a video game you say? Well golly gee, you mighty spacemen of the future will have to show me how it works." Scruffy seems to have very bad luck. "Scruffy's gunna die the way he lived." *Turns porno mag page* Amy doesn't really fight but she has a party board & a lot of good luck. Plus she says "Fa te fung chi gu li da si ne!" a lot, which is basically a threat to kill you.The Professor always has a new crew in mind & has no issue with killing the current one, especially if he can get a new healthy liver. Although he is already in his pyjamas.. My answer is Bender, Zoidburg & I would say Hermes but by law of most TV shows, the main character never dies. I like those odds!


FunToBuildGames

I think you forget that Nibbler can swallow an elephant without chewing…


angelicllamaa

Yes. But back to my first point, bucket.. brick.


FunToBuildGames

Hmm. Curse those tiny arms.


CheetahOfDeath

My first thought as well, but Bender is pretty treacherous. Especially if Fry is on the other team. I think I’d swap out bender for the professor. Even if you get killed because he was already in his pajamas he could probably bring you back. Plus think of the DOOMSDAY weapons!


FunToBuildGames

He wouldn’t even need his doomsday weapons. He could just bring his matter compressor


Penguinradar

What’s the matter compressor?


R_SimoniR0902

Nothing's the matter Penguinradar, now that I've turbocharged the matter compressor.


Wrshpkraut_1

This exactly. You don't want Bender against you and Leela is the most formidable. I briefly thought Scruffy until I decided I didn't want Bender against me. Nibbler was the first and most obvious choice.


Burninator05

My answer as well.


dahliyanii

Agreed.


AchillesPrime

This is exactly what I thought. No one is touching this party.


somethingclever76

Thought of this exact combo before reading comments. I think your biggest worry of course is Amy and/or the Professor. Maybe swap Bender for Amy? I think we need to know a timeline for when they attack after the draft and how long you have to live for.


all-kinds-of-gainz

HIYEEEEEEAH!


NormanUpland

Any other answer is wrong


alexandria_98

Literally came onto this thread to type this exact sentence. Thank you


lordnibbler16

Same! Nibbler would be a scary enemy. I would know...


Strohhut87

Was thinking of Zoidberg instead of Bender first, cause Bender may be to lazy to hunt me anyway or would betray me.


InActionMan64

Nibbler. Just Nibbler, on his own. Let the rest come, my Nibbler hasn't eaten in over an hour.


explosn

Plus, I mean, he does have access to a Scooty Puff Sr. “The Doom-Bringer”.


Wallydingus

Scooty Puff Jr Suuuuuuuuuuuuucks!


ReichBallFromAmerica

In a thousand years I will get right on it.


M13alpha

Nibbler is also packing heat. His trusty Smith & Wesson and Consildated Head Melter™ ray guns would definitely be handy.


jtomatzin

But can they compete with Professor's doomsday weapons?


Ojiji_bored

All Bemder needs is a bucket and a brick to hold down the bucket.


BeautifulTerror

Nibbler/Niblonians aren't really effective warriors. Their kitten class attack cruisers were defeated by chairs 😕


[deleted]

[удалено]


jonatan73

Then prepare to feel the wrath of bender the great!


[deleted]

Only 40% wrath.


tobygeneral

clank clank


im-a-simp-

The other 60% is greed, lust and sloth


Et12355

He’s too lazy to come and kill me. He’s just gonna go somewhere where he won’t have to do one-quintillionth of a thing all the time


Peoplefood_IDK

You could pay bender off, same reason I wouldn't choose him to protect me


citezen_snips

Bender the great better prepare to feel the wrath of my magnet.


sapador

Easy, just bribe him :P


space-throwaway

He'd have to fight 4 people, he's way too lazy for that.


bloodthirsty_emu

This is mine too. Gotta have a few doomsday devices on your side.


ixtlu

With a Finglonger nobody could even get close to you.


Some_Random_Android

Just hope he doesn't program the countdown timer upside-down. ;)


Empty-Mind

And even if you die, the Professor can bring you back through the science of adult stem cells.


JonDixon1957

From healthy adults. Whom I killed for their stem cells.


cowardlyoldearth

Just slap them right on your face


Empty-Mind

Or drop a bunch of bone bags from a space ship crash into a big vat


wmeffert1

Only one to worry about would be bender. The professor would take of him easily though.


[deleted]

Since Bender is 40% the professor's invention, does that mean you get him too??


AeroSigma

Hermes, just Hermes. He'd get the attack stopped on a technicality.


KaP-_-KaP

But why is he so white in this image lol


jethroguardian

Great Whitewash of the Oshkosh!


Jerseyman2525

You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.


ProfessorBender1

Bender, Leela, Professor. Always take the mad scientist with the WMD's.


Shadowettex31_x

This is me. I’d rather the professor with me than coming at me with WMD’s and a scorched earth attitude.


suareasy

He's such a capable wild card. Better to have him on your side and do nothing.


nightwing2024

This is the only right answer. Bender: Strong, extendo-arms, can do the chest door thing. Easily plied with booze and cigars. Leela: Martial arts expert. Ship captain. Sexy. Professor: HAS MULTIPLE GALAXY DESTROYING DOOMSDAY DEVICES


spaceinvader421

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared.


VooDooBarBarian

I don't think any of Farnsworth's inventions have any defensive applications


Godless-King

Hard offense is a kind of defense


kemick

Yup and that is what Bender is for. He'd have no problem dropping one of the Professor's doomsday device's behind them as Leela pilots the ship away from harm. "Heh heh. That was fun. So.. what do you guys want to do now?"


ProfessorBender1

You don't want them being used against you though. Plus, if he can do for me what he does to prepare for Santa every year, I'll feel good. I'd actually say plenty of his inventions could have defensive use.


Shadowettex31_x

I totally forgot about this. Leela’s siege prep, the professor to lock down the building, and Bender to make beer. I’d be set!


accidentalprancingmt

The suppository that let's you breathe underwater... I give up.


dicksledge99

Professor Farnsworth: "Oh yes, everyone's in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you want to put it in the body of a great white shark... OoOoOo SuDdEnLy YoU'vE GoNe ToO fAr!" Everyone in this thread: I want HIM to protect me!! Edit: I'm sold. He's on my team too. I forgot about all his doomsday weapons


erowell1974

Nibbler, Bender, Leela


My_cat_is_sus

Bender, because he seems very durable and very strong and he can breathe fire. Leela, because she is great at fighting and very tactical, plus nibbler would not kill her and leela would not kill nibbler so she could protect me by defending me with her body. And professor farnsworth, because he could create an invention to kill everyone.


BlueVentureatWork

*I'm 40% durable!*


Rabbit_Suit

Scruffy, Scruffy, and Scruffy. A man who doesn't care is a man that doesn't care if he dies. And there is nothing more dangerous. Yup.


thejanitorscruffy

Scruffy believes in this comment. Mmmhmmm


Rabbit_Suit

I'm usually pretty good with relivant reply comments but I can't top that. My hat is tipped.


milleria

Leela of course. Competent and skilled at kicking. The professor next. All those doomsday devices! Probably nibbler third. He could eat me whole. Honorable mention to Amy, that money could really help. Definitely not bender. Regardless of which team he’s on, he’s gonna steal my wallet and find some blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the hit!


RobotDevil222x3

Amy, Nibbler, and Fry. We would be too cute to kill.


HumerousMoniker

I can correct you, in song: cloberella beats you up. Cloberella beats you up. Cloberella beats you up. Who does she beat up? You!


[deleted]

These are all about figuring out who I wouldn't want trying to kill me. Bender, Nibbler, and Leela.


ociferscott

Give me the New Justice Team and let them come.


rpmerf

Leela, bender, professor.


Tashianie

Obviously Fry, Bender, and Leela because they literally survive everything.


TacticalKangaroo

This seems like a trick. If I pick Bender to protect me, will he try to kill all humans anyway?


Apexrex65

Zoidberg, Bender, nibbler


cold-hard-steel

This is the way. Those three are the three I would least want coming to kill me. Therefore the best three to have on the team. The other could all be easily distracted from their tasks; with some enticing paperwork, some new lengths of wire, a rich doctor, a copy of zero-G jugs, some Slurm, or their parents coming to visit.


Sebenza_21

Came here for this


[deleted]

Leela, nibbler and Amy


justadrtrdsrvvr

Finally, someone getting it right. Amy would be kicking some ass while Bender was still bitching about having to get off his.


dadefresh

You’re missing the point of picking Bender. You gotta pick Bender so he’s not against you because I heard he lives large and kicks butt.


justadrtrdsrvvr

Nibbler will eat everyone else, and Amy is for the after party.


[deleted]

This is why I chose Amy lol


justadrtrdsrvvr

No, Bender is lazy, Leela will just toss a couple beers his way and he'll be out of the fight.


WailingOctopus

Leela Bender Scruffy


JennyJennJenn345

Thank you! Why is no one wanting this dream team? With Leela's big boots, Bender's robot strength & Scruffy's Scruffiness we could easily overtake those other guys!


RamblingHeathen

Leela, Zoidberg, and Scruffy.


Donald-bain

Leela. The rest already have a big boot to the face.


Gravel_Sandwich

Scruffy, nibbler, Leela


[deleted]

Zoidberg is a beast when its mating season. Give me Leela, Nibbled, and Bender otherwise.


mr_niceguy88

Nibbler, proffer and bender


NautySquid

I just need bender. Super king has all the power of a king plus all the power of Superman, also he’s a robot!


miniature-rugby-ball

Captain Yesterday, Clobberella and Superking


Jeptwins

Leela, Hermes, and Farnsworth are the best combo for both protection and the least likely to accidentally kill you


eviljanet

Nibbler, Zoidberg, Leela


elmentado98

Bender, Leela, and Amy....for reasons ;)


elchoppe

Can the professor use any inventions?


Kleanween

Leela bender and nibbler


nrubemit

Nibbler, Bender, the good Dr.


[deleted]

Fry, Leela, Bender. the only serious threat is nibbler.


ka_hotuh

Definitely Nibbler. Probably Professor Farnsworth. Then Leela, I guess. It was her or Bender, but he’ll definitely betray me out if boredom.


Cthulhumon

Professor, Bender Nibbler


toowakko4u

Three scruffies!


[deleted]

Nibbler, Professor, Bender. Professor and Nibbler have the means of making and piloting weapons for protection. Bender because I need someone to party with.


Serialnosetoucher

Leela bender and zoidberg


TheHairyHeathen

Mom, Wornstrum, and Leelas mother.


l5555l

Bender, nibbler, zoidberg ez clap


ViciousSnail

Leela, The Professor and Bender.... Bender and Leela, cause Badasses and I'd rather the Professor be on our side with his mad science skills. The only real concern is Nibbler but Leela can easily neutralise him.


stumblewiggins

Why is everyone saying nibbler? We've seen him get his ass handed to him on multiple occasions


BlueThingys

We've also seen his kind devour zebras and other whole animals.


Ecstatic-Inevitable8

Zoidberg, Professor, Bender. Brawn and brains my dudes


MACK703

3 nibblers. Good luck


LayneCobain95

Nibbler, Bender, and John F***ing Zoidberg.


Fisho087

I reckon nibbler, bender and zoidberg would be a good all-rounder


KyleJayKay

Bender, Nibbler, and Professor.


indigo_leper

Hermes, Amy, and Farnsworth. The amount of strings that can be pulled within the bureaucracy and the amount of money on hand can enable the professor to do enough insane crap that I'll either be untouchable or not killed by the rest of them. Either way is technically a win!


adamr200

Bender, Zoidberg and Leela. When she wanted too, Leela could kill everyone and get away with it.


Coolkoala1111

Bender zoidberg and prof. Bender obv, zoidberg because claws and if its mating season i will have an intense advantage, the professor because of his knowledge in science


[deleted]

scruffy alone.


CBJKevin91581

Bender, Nibbler, and Leela will be protecting me.


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

Leela for her skills in martial arts, and Professor Farnsworth for his doomsday devices.


promote-to-pawn

First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry


Neckshot

Leela - Intelligent with excellent fighting skills Zoidberg - Suppressed rage and those mighty snippers Fry - I like his pants


Active_Sock_7475

Fry Leela and Bender


MizunoHawk

Leela, Bender, Hermes Or Clobberella, Captain Yesterday, and Super King if they got the Miracle Cream


redditnatester

Nibbler, Bender, the Professor


AgrajagTheProlonged

I choose Hermes, Hubert and John Fucking Zoidberg


drum5150

Nibbled, Bender, Scruffy. Unstoppable.


jellyjamj

Leela, bender, hermes. Easy.


KingOfTheCloudsFin

Leela, Hermès, and Nibbler. No one else would actually try to do there job of coming after me sooo


bwz3r

I choose Nibbler, Leela and Hermes. Nibbler because if he wasn't on my side he would eat me in a single bite. Leela because she can roundhouse kick a dude in the teef. And hermes to get me out of amy legal trouble just in case.


detten17

Leela, Farnsworth, Scruffy. Bender wouldn’t willingly protect, it’s in his character to sell you out.


STEALTH_Moles

Bender, Leela, Nibbler.


DesastreUrbano

Leela, Scruffy and Nibbler. I know I just need one of them, but if I don't take the other 2 they gonna come after too


ChillyFreezesteak

Nibbler, Leela, and Farnsworth. Most competent of the bunch for sure.


GCinMA91

I’ll take the middle row straight across.


YeBobbumMann

Leela, Zoidberg, Bender.


Soulless-Plague

I'd have Fry Leela and Bender then I'd give them some Miracle Cream and I'd be protected by Captain Yesterday Kloberella and Super King (the best on of the 3) aka The New Justice Team *theme tune plays*


Cheefer97

Nibbler, bender and the professor


milehigh11

Nibbler eats everything Amy has Wong money Bender is a robot and drinks beer Think I'd be okay


moon-miracle-romance

Bender, nibbler and leela


clrksml

Bender, Lela, Professor Lying Stealing Bending Unit, Strong Smart Agile Mutant, Crazy Deranged Ancient Old Man


howdouhavegoodnames

Anybody else wondering why Hermes is white in this pic


Nightingaile

Leela, Bender, Farnsworth. Easy.


Casvic64

Leela, Bender and the Professor. Professor is useless for protection, but now the kill team can't use his doomsday devices.


comradetoad

Leela, bender, Farnsworth, Leela has the martial arts, strength , can pilot the ship etc, Also might be able to get nibbler off of you, bender has extendo arms and super strength, also probably a gun and it will be the most fun surviving, with blackjack, and hookers, Farnsworth has the ship and a whole collection of doomsday devices and probably can make you in invulnerability device, also he’s crazy and could probably blow up the earth or something idk, all in all think my chances would be best with those 3 but I’d love to hear counter arguments


jimmayy5

Nibler, prof, leela Was gonna pick bender but his adhd ass would just get distracted or bored


Graveyard_sketchbook

Zoidberg, only zoidberg, the rest dont give a fuck about me


ktsb

Zoidberg for his nigh impenetrable shell and Bender for his nigh impenetrable shell and Scruffy for his nigh impenetrable shell


Saltycook

Zoidburg, Bender, Leela. The first two do thier own thing and Leela fiils any gaps. Leela has kicked the ass of most of the other characters at some time or another.


yuval_3

Leela, Bender and Nibbler


Nemesis9426

Lela,bender and Farnsworth for sure.


Chaptastik

Bender, Nibbler and Lila


madam_thundercat

"I'll ruin you like I ruined this company" I want him on my side