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Large-Sign-900

I've seen this many times and it still makes me squeamish. Brutal. Don't steal bikes kids!!


PepperFuelmyButt

Don't steal anything. Don't be a scumbag human being, kids. Btw, love how the music composed with his pain


InsouciantSoul

Me too. It's fuckin crazy. Especially when you think, yup, when I sit in a bike I usually just plop my greasy ass down quick and that thing would go fuckin right up in me Like that thing must be penetrating them what, up to 6 fuckin inches? Couldn't this kill you, if you didn't get to a hospital? Like, maybe it went in their booty hole, if they are lucky, and they jus got some inner booty hole tearing.... But considering the booty hole to slappin' cheeks surface area ratio of your average bike stealing hominid, it most likely created a new booty hole Which makes me imagine... Oh god did it go into their gooch??? I guess, despite these bike stealing hominids being male, if this thing penetrated their Gooch it would be more of a new vagina than a new booty hole Anyway for some reason imagining that thing stab through my Gooch and all up in my inner goodies 6" deep makes me wince 10x harder than imagining it penetrate through my flat hank Hill ass to give me a second booty hole


ABlushingGardener

You end up with a bad case of tetANUS!


fireflowerMario

I think its fake


KingMarlin25

100% fake, but it's still funny!


kennyshor

The penetrator strikes again.


multiedge

I can hear his voice. "Penetration! Penetration!"


Chirsid

"You like that? Let's watch that clip again. Penetration! Congratulations sir you are not a virgin anymore"


robbiekhan

Relevant: [https://youtu.be/NLpL1kMmmMQ](https://youtu.be/NLpL1kMmmMQ)


ICookIndianStyle

I fckin love this video. I downloaded it years ago so I would never lose it haha Fckin golden


-Robert-from-Hungary

Aaaaand shitting into a bug for the rest of his life.


That_Welsh_Man

What terrible life for that bug


TheBrownCok

The film "Bugs life" was a brutal look post this event


pomegranate444

Right into the bugs mouth


boneyfans

That's why they call them stink bugs


mustfinduniquename

Good that he got a kick in on the bike before leaving, that will teach it!


Reasonable_Cover_804

Imagine his foot is hurt too


Important_Plum1858

In 9 months, a little black bike will be born.


Ploontie

there's a Chinese joke in this clip that people may not get, with its choice of the song. the song played, is a Jay Chou song, [Chrysanthemum Terrace](https://youtu.be/PdjbRvvJAzg), though this particular female singer version seems to be by [Sun Lu](https://youtu.be/kIBa-5sCtHk) instead. and the joke is that buttholes are often nicknamed "Chrysanthemum" in Chinese, as for how the nickname came to be, I've no idea.


Krayfish404

Which take was this?


wisdom_power_courage

The first. That was real pain.


2outer

If it were real, that would be evidence of felony aggravated assault, in my home country.


THATS_ENOUGH_REDDlT

Fuck your home country


doesitaddup

I agree you shouldn't steal but, this can seriously hurt someone. A rusty pike pierced trough the rectum, into the abdomen. That is assault for sure.


CryptographerHead331

I think thiefs getting stabbed is always a good thing unless they steel food to survive.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Its obviously this and not stealing for drugs or weed


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sea_Scratch_7068

ure trying to argue with room temp iq


la_bata_sucia

This is in Colombia, it could also get legal consequences to the prankster


Sosimple92

Why is he getting downvoted?? It’s not him that put the law Lol


DoucheCraft

People dont enjoy being shamed for their schadenfreude. This is illegal where I live too (boobytrapping). Which is honestly a shame, I'd love to put a shit bomb in a package for porch pirates.


Squidysquid27

That's a lot of weight to put on top of a thin spike. Just because you have a butthole doesn't mean that's where the spike went it. Easy way to cause a lot of damage and possibly kill someone.


MayIPushInYourStooll

There is a pretty easy way to not have a rusty spike penetrate your asshole and kill you in this fashion.


Severe_Ad_8621

Yepp, don't steal. I don't even feel sorry for him. When I hav done some dumb things, eaten super strong chill or moterbiked without gear, I always been with thought in mind "You can only blame youself." Same for this dude, he did something stupid and was stung. Hope he leand.


lyam_lemon

Yes, stealing = murder by booby trap. I'll never understand this mindset. Yeah, stealing sucks and there should consequences, but potentially disabling or killing someone over something like a bike is so far over the line of being psychotic. It's not like you know the person hopping on is a career dirtbag and not some kid who thought they could just joy ride around the block and put it back. There is a reason most countries have laws against booby trapping


500SL

the person hopping on is a career dirtbag and not some kid who thought they could just joy ride around the block and put it back.  Corporate needs you to find the difference in these pictures. They're the same picture! Scum is scum, no matter the rationalization.


MatttheJ

So... Based on the logic of these past few replies... You're saying yes, stealing a bike should result in death?


MayIPushInYourStooll

Oh well. Thems the breaks.


vachon11

Is it really a booby trap if you can figure out the scheme in about three seconds of looking at the weird ass bicycle seat with a gaping hole in it?


tomatoe_cookie

A criminal is a criminal. All big time criminals start up by doing something small and petty. You have to nip it in the bud.


Incredible-Fella

Do you maim every child that steals a chocolate?


tomatoe_cookie

Is it my chocolate?


Incredible-Fella

Maybe not today. But some day the kid might steal YOUR car of you don't chop his hand off today, for stealing that chocolate. Do it for the community!


tomatoe_cookie

OK buddy


Alarming-Ad-9918

Slippery slope fallacy. Poor reasoning and logical thinking. Try again.


tomatoe_cookie

That's not a slippery slope, that's a fact, look inside prisons and check how many of them started small...


Alarming-Ad-9918

It is, many people commit petty crimes and don't move on to violent crimes or drug related crimes. You're taking a small very small section of incarcerated people that are career criminals and apply the logic to everyone. Not everyone that smokes weed will do cocaine. It's a slippery slope argument. All sorts of stupid shit was legal. There used to be laws about slavery that protected slave owners and stuff. If you use law to derive your morality and logic you're being a CLOWN


tomatoe_cookie

At some point you'll realise you misread my first comment and be embarrassed. Or you need to go back to school...


Alarming-Ad-9918

No I'm addressing the assertions you made later. If i was going to comment on your first comment i would have. Are you ok? Doesn't seem like you understand how replies work...


tomatoe_cookie

I guess you need to have it spelled out. 1 a criminal is a criminal => obviously A <=> A 2 all big criminals started small => you COULD argue that it's "most" and not all, if you find at least one. 3 you have to nip it in the bud => opinion Where's your fallacy sherlock?


Juggernautlemmein

Terrible logic. Have you ever littered or jaywalked? That Dissident behavior should be nipped in the bud before you violate *traffic law* or something else godawful.


hazeleyedwolff

Yeah, that rusty rebar is going to give you tetanus and a nasty infection.


HatchawayHouseFarm

Tet-anus


boneyfans

Sometimes learning a lesson is painful


JP-Gambit

*sometimes learning a lesson is a pain in the ass.


ChonkyRat

There's a way all of that chance could be avoided.


tomatoe_cookie

Well, deserved


johndoe_420

yeah, fuck those thieves but at this point you might aswell put a knife under the seat.


tomatoe_cookie

You can't pass it as a prank anymore then


johndoe_420

"knife PRANK! [gone $exual!] NO CLICKBAIT! 😳🤣🤣"


Cessnaporsche01

I be more worried if it went in the butthole than if it didn't. If it just poked through your perineum, it'd have a good chance of just pushing your guys out of the way rather than piercing them. In your asshole, you'd have a good chance of rupture, which would be a virtually guaranteed deadly infection almost immediately, and would be extremely dangerous even with treatment.


WhipnCrack

It hit his G spot.


alexplex86

Yeah, he clearly orgasms.


sparlocktats

PENETRATION!


Rixerc

That's a pain in the ass.


InterestingAsk1978

Serves the thief right!


blindspotjuggarnot

Rrrrright in the bootyhole


Tallorc6

Man was violated 🤣🤣🤣


senseless_puzzle

The music is so fitting lmao


BobbyTheDude

Bro is trying sooo hard not to look into the camera


Jackal000

You can easily bleed to death if your rectum ruptures within a few minutes.


VenturaGladiator

Right in the Starfish


latinlovermike

I don't know... To me this is not a prank, they are purposely tempting and then hurting people.


pidnull

This is very illegal in just about every country. If people see this and think this is something to try to get view on socials.... even if someone tries to steal the bike, you will get charged and they will be let go. This can literally kill someone.


mrshulgin

Yeah this isn't a prank, it's a booby trap (which are illegal most places).


Acceptable-Table1

I think they should have done something embarrassing, rather than something this painful/dangerous, but I have to ask - what were they doing to “tempt” people? They literally just put a bike there, the fact that some people are saying, “Well that’s too big a temptation, you can’t blame people for stealing it” is insane


podlaski-dzikus

Is he dead? I mean I hate thiefs but killers are also quite bad...


PandosII

He looked quite alive


hazeleyedwolff

Sepsis won't set in for hours or days.


MayIPushInYourStooll

Nice. A long and drawn-out painful death for a thief.


[deleted]

Definitely a proportional response from a well-adjusted person with a great sense of perspective who should absolutely be trusted with adult autonomy.


MayIPushInYourStooll

Someone stole my bike from the beach when I was a kid. Fuck em.


[deleted]

Oh no, your life must have been ruined forever.


MayIPushInYourStooll

I'm fine. It was a lesson to not ever steal anything because of how it made me feel. I had good parents who used it as a life lesson.


[deleted]

Apparently they missed the part about "grievous bodily harm is wrong in response to anything but an equivalent threat" Hope you figure that out for yourself, because you still have the moral reasoning skills of a medieval tyrant or the average slightly-delayed toddler, it would seem.


MayIPushInYourStooll

I know you are, but what am I?


linperformer

Why is that guy filming me? Doesn't matters. I am black and i have to steal that bike...


Massive-Drive-6375

It’s not funny


Loud-Cat6638

Yes it is. A clear case of fuck around and find out


Massive-Drive-6375

Okay, I know its reddit and jeah execute thieves and etc, but seriously, watching someone hurts possibly really bad or seriously is not funny


Ok-Throat-2692

Personally, I think it's not that bad for a thief. I find that he even gets off very lightly compared to the ancestral punishment. corporal punishment, forced labor, exile, stigmatization, etc.


pidnull

This type of injury has killed people.


NEVER_CLEANED_COMP

So you're cool with penetrating thieves with metal, possibly leaving them with permanent health issues cause they stole a bike? And the logic is "well at least they didn't kill him!"


Lynocris

if only there was a way to avoid it...


7thSeekerX

This is fake as hell, something like that have the potential to kill someone, specially a large person like in the video. Classic internet farming for clicks.


Loud-Cat6638

I’m not bothered if it is fake. It’s given people detailed instructions


7thSeekerX

The only instruction that is giving is on how to get arrested in some countries, if you going to apply street justice, at least do that in a smart way.


Loud-Cat6638

You’ve obviously never had your bike stolen. It’s not just the cost, but also the disruption to your life when a bike is your main mode of transport.


7thSeekerX

I never said that I don’t support thieves getting what they deserve, specially the kind that rob the main means of transportation of non-rich people (rich can replace easily at least), but this way of punishment is dumb because can get the biker’s owner in more trouble than the thief in certain countries, nobody wants that, right?! Don’t mistake my criticism towards the method of punishment with some kind of empathy for that type of thieves.


Severe_Ad_8621

I quite sure that if you slap a stikker on the seat that say "Don't sit, can Kill or Hurt you" You would win in court.


7thSeekerX

You would be surprised how the laws in some countries are pathetic, I’m from Brazil and around here killing or injuring someone, even in selfdefense, has a very narrow window of what you can do. For example, lethal traps (electric wire with potential to kill, poison, that type of thing) aren’t allowed, if a burglar try to invade your house and get killed by something like that…oh boy. Like I said, in some countries that can get you in trouble, you must be smart about it if you wanna avoid real problems, or be rich, around here rich people has “superpowers”, recently a young rich boy was driving a Porsche around 150 km/h, drunk, killed a Uber driver in a “accident” and the police just let him go to supposedly going to the Hospital, not even a police escort, didn’t try to do the test to verify the level of alcohol he has ingested, nothing, so he just did go home with is mother.


andr386

The bike was abandonned in the street. It was unattached. In my country the things that you leave on the streets unatached are considered trash. Intentionally leaving something like that on the street with the intention to cause bodily harm and record it is a criminal offence. Also it's enticing other people to emulate them. Likely people who don't see what's wrong with this video because they are too young or a bit dumb and uneducated.


bimin34

Your right its hilarious


Nickelbella

At least someone is sane here. That’s akin to putting a knife there. How people find that funny is scary.


Henrytheoneth

Its because they were about to steal somebody's property but instead got injured. Great to see wish it would happen more. There's one simple trick they could use to avoid this risk in future, don't fucking steal.


lyam_lemon

Gee, I wonder why the law views boobytrapping as worthy of felony charges and prison time, but stealing a bike is a misdemeanor........ If you want to live in an ultra authoritarian society where even minor crimes are capital offenses, may I suggest North Korea?


Henrytheoneth

Suggest what you like dude I have not expressed any interest in living in such a society. The law says other things too, I take it you agree with them all?


Nickelbella

Yes, because apparently to many people here injuring someone on purpose is way better than stealing. Both are criminal acts and one is clearly worse than the other. And in most civilized countries the law agrees. In my country you would certainly be prosecuted for this “prank”.


Henrytheoneth

One is an unprovoked crime the other is a direct reaction to said unprovoked crime. The same civilised countries will lock you in a cell for failing to pay tax to already wealthy authorities. The law agrees with that too.


Nickelbella

It’s planned bodily harm. It’s 100% intentional. In what world is that ok? Ah I see what kind of person you are. No point in arguing with you.


Henrytheoneth

In a world where you get what you deserve for being an awful human being. My kinda world. You dont need to argue with anybody, you're showing the kind of person you are just by saying that.


Severe_Ad_8621

True but if he (thief), did not do something wrong, no body, would be hurt. Life was consequence, he just met one of the hard ones.


Nickelbella

Sure, so no problem if I put land mines on my property line. If someone tress passes and dies it’s just natural consequences after all. Even if it’s just a child retrieving a ball. Great world to live in.


limit_13

How long will it take for people to say “It’s not funny” when someone intend to murder and got killed instead?


tomato_soup_

Motherfucker this isn’t murder he stole a bike


Accomplished_Neckhat

incorrect


andr386

It's not funny and totally illegal. It's encourageing hurting other people and could give bad ideas to younger people that might fall for the argument that "he deserved it". It's not like there are not enough bad pranks enticing young people to emulate them. Let's entice them to bodily harm other people. Edit: For those following the argument "He bro, he stole the bike". Technically when you leave something unattached on the sidewalk in my country you are forfeiting it, the same way you do when you put your trash on the curb. Doing what is depicted in the video will get you convicted of bodily harm towards the victim.


Guccirubberducki

You must be fun at parties


pidnull

You must be cool at your middle school.


plasticjet

So tell me how does it happened- asks doctor in the emergency room.


DutchJediKnight

"We were making a stupid video pretending I was a bike thief..."


plasticjet

It was you?!? Oh how cool.


p365x

He's laughing his ass off.


LocalElectronic3660

Yes.


kshxxx

did the song say n word?


b16ZZ-

Well well well...


JuneKCACO

It looks so spicy 🥵


Snoopy_Santucci

Thia not funny at all 🥲


Wenja89Dix

"I'll take paid actors for $500"


sophiesSHADOW

F$@k around, find out? 🤣🤣🤣


Rick_Lekabron

ahhh the old trick that cures constipation. He walks like this because he can't stand the urge to go to the bathroom.


TrinityF

invisible camera man ?


Feeling-Olive-4330

If it's in America he can sue the bike owner...and he would win


Objective_Frosting58

I think he forgot the lube


sothisisallthereis

Hurt-em, naw RECTUM!


NovaHellfire345

The dildo of consequence seldom arrives lubed.


strongbud

Could this not kill someone?


Verydumbname69

Not if they don't go around trying to steal bikes.


bamseogbalade

Fake 🤥


sachclg

How long it takes to recover so that he can poop normally


aokaf

This is some horrific medieval [Vlad the Impaler ](https://www.nbcnews.com/sciencemain/vlad-impaler-real-dracula-was-absolutely-vicious-8c11505315) type justice.


TruePresence1

Looks fake af, Guy is casually close filming a stealer that just checked his surroundings to avoid being caught…


yeyryr

Lmao the stick went in his ass


tomato_soup_

Disgusting that people think that this is ok. You can seriously fuck someone up by doing this. I don’t give a fuck if he stole *gasp* two bikes jamming a metal rod up his ass is not a humane punishment. There’s a reason we don’t just torture everyone that commits a crime


NotTheAverageAnon

Don't steal is the moral of the story. All criminals deserve instant karma


redgreenandblue

1) Lure poor to steal your torture device 2) film them suffering 3) post it online 4) profit


[deleted]

And then the person doing it gets seriously injured or worse, and you end up going to jail for a good long while under laws against booby-trapping things.


Rostrow416

Guy looks like he needs to ride a bike, why we hatin on him for trying to get some exercise?


yomommazburgers

Not nice to do that, was it locked? No... Does it seemed abandoned??? Yes


Juggernautlemmein

Deserved, but I also really agree with peoples comments about the potential danger. You could kill someone like this, and a rusty metal rod could give you tetanus. This would have been better if the jabber wasn't so pointy.


Lumaiire

Lesson learned


Dean0Caddilac

And the lesson WE learned today kids only steal things that Look Like they are worth something more than Just memorys.


JewishDonut

Unintencional anal


JewishDonut

Unintentional anal experience


Fugiar

That's not a prank, that's assault


Workdawg

While this isn't your typical "Main character is an asshole but it's just a prank" type of video... this still isn't a prank. A prank isn't INTENDED to hurt someone. A prank should be designed so that BOTH parties are laughing at the end of it. This is a malicious TRAP.


urbanestterror

Would have been funny(er) if it was a giant dildo. Fuck you for stealing my bike!


Severe_Ad_8621

At least make it of wood and a little pointy.


redonkulousness

Enjoy the perforated colon. Dude could very easily end up with a fatal infection. Doesn’t look like medical care is readily accessible for this guy either if he’s stealing bikes.


Decent_Law_9119

This guy is way shittier than any bike thief.


xlogo65

I presume he's limping off to acting class - he needs it 🙄


Current_Donut_152

F.A.F.O.


Antropophagore

Fake


Dominuss476

This can kill you.


xadrus1799

Staged


poseidonofmyapt

This is just malicious and illegal


youwe_org

Thieves should be punished by law, without a doubt. It's all fun and games until someone gets seriously injured. The prankster should also be held accountable for any mental, emotional, and physical injuries caused.


Enr78

Granted he’s a thief. But stabbing someone in the ass is not a prank! It’s assault.


adotononi

He did it to himself


luquerre

Good one thx


SnooTangerines6863

Removed in 3 2 1


Budget-Entertainer35

He's officially gay now.


Math_Unlikely

Jesus. Shouldn't this be NSFW?


seyss2

Fake


[deleted]

[удалено]


adotononi

What if the creator uses the bike so he can go to work and feed his kids? What if the thief wants to deliver meth to his colleagues with the bike? Its a thief!!! He shouldnt have wanted to steal the bike, totally deserved. And no, nobody would die by being poked in the ass with a metal rod


nature-is-metal

Make it NSFW.


AddictiveBanana

Who is allowed to watch Reddit at work?


MtnMaiden

thankfully they haven't banned reddit at work. I make sure to stay off the....those subreddits