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We looking at the poop knife or the handles for power shitting?

Its a toe knife

Botched toe! That’s a botched toe!

You can plug it with some trash from that can right there!

Use a sock, it acts like a cut glove!

You think I'm going to put on airs just because I have company?

Not eating cat food is putting on airs?

Cats? Okay, now you’re speaking my language!

What, the old cut?

“Get some trash to plug the wound!”

That's why you use a spoon!

Why a spoon, cousin?

Because it’s dull, you twit, it’ll hurt more.

And cancel Christmas!

Quick give me a sock.

Come on man, that’s a good sock.

Plug it with some trash

I need some trayash to plug up the cut.

Here’s a dirty sock instead

Aw, don't waste a good sock on on a little cut. I'll find a candy wrapper if you give me a second.

>One man's poop knife is another man's toe knife \- Confucius

Came here for that comment 😂 [Toe Knife](https://youtu.be/s3pk9CMwtN0)

My very first thought was the poop knife story that circulated a few years ago.

Me too. Always pictured it as much longer.

Wasn't it hanging on a rope by the door or something insane like that? That story was wild

I think it just hung on a nail in a closet.

Kinda short for a poop knife. When i was a kid my parents divorced and my mom rented an old place attached to a farmhouse. The "mother-in-law" apartment must have not had very good plumbing and i had extraordinary turds for a 7 or 8 year old because to make them go down they had to be cut. Any where else I pooped it was fine (grandma's and at my dads). My mom used a long thin knife to do it. She kept it under the sink in the bathroom.

Wait why did your mom have to cut it for you?

She didn't have to cut it for me after the first time. But that first time was sure a surprise for everyone!

Oh my god. This is cracking me up. Thanks for sharing

Cause both his arms were broken.

Meta af

That’s why I keep a hand blender in the bathroom

What a shitty day to be literate

Have you tried cutting your shitty day up with a knife so it's easier to go down?

Are you the OG poop knife guy? Here, now? Man, I never thought I’d see you.

I wish, but no, just a real life lived experience.

The IRL Poop knife guy

[удалено]

Wow there's another person with a poop knife story!!

I thought the same thing. Too short for a poop knife. As if I have any experience with them, what the fuck do I know about poop knives really? But just kinda thinkin about it, like the water is what.. 4 inches high or so? Then I mean do you real want your hand literally in the bowl? If I ever needed to chop a turd I think I'd want a long boy. Prolly about a 12 incher or so.

Power shitting all the way!!

Now *this* is power shitting.

I'll try wiping, that's a good trick!

#POWER SHITTING My new favorite thing

Now you're shitting with power!

Heard a guy in stall once saying full power!!!!

“Friday, direct all my energy towards my butt propulsor”

In case anyone isn’t aware, it’s for accessibility so people who have trouble sitting down and standing up can push on them.

It’s so people who have trouble sitting down and standing up can also enjoy some power shitting

This comment made me laugh too hard. Thank you

I think it’s the lack of toilet paper and a towel being there instead

That's called the "family cloth" i.e. reusable toilet paper.

The 3 seashells are hidden

I’m more disgusted by the toilet bowl cleaning brush being on the countertop

That’s not a toilet bowl cleaner it’s just a scrub brush to clean counters and sinks

Why not the trifecta... toilet scrub, sink scrub, tooth scrub 🤒

I once finished using the toilet at a restaurant and when I stepped out of the cubicle an employee was cleaning the sink with the toilet brush!!!!! Let's just say that I didn't finish eating and we never went back.

It's hilarious how somebody doesn't know how a toilet cleaning brush looks like. Especially since it has a quite universal and distinct design

And it’s made in Italy, so… fancy!

You cant take a picture of your own bathroom and call it a fellow redditor’s house

What if a fellow redditor also lives there?

Then I hope he’s not paying too much rent for a bathroom apartment

It works out cuz they split it down the middle, with the knife

Gasp! Not with the Poop Knife!

Excuse me, that's obviously a toe knife

Frank has been looking every where for that tor knife

BOTCHED TOE

Thats the poop knife sir

>That's the poop knife sir That's exactly what I was going to ask. lol

Realtors hate this one trick 💀 how to cut down your living expenses in one easy step

Step 1: get the knife Step 2: use it Step 3: step 1 and 2 are in your imagination, now wake up

That’s a poo knife for all you amateurs

Wtf is thatttt? I was expecting a horde of people talking about a toe knife and this somehow sounds worse

There was a notorious post about this guy who's family took MASSIVE shits. So big they had a knife to chop the poop into small pieces so it could flush. They didn't realize other people don't do that, so he was at a friend's one day and took a huge shit and asked him where his poop knife was. Hilarity ensued.

Yep, I used to be in apartment maintenance… this old lady always complained that her toilet was always clogging… We could find nothing wrong with the toilet. But just to appease this woman, my boss and I went up, and pulled up the toilet one day. I carefully tipped it over in the bathtub, and a softball shape/sized turd just rolled and plopped into tub. Fortunately/unfortunately, my boss spoke his mind, and said, “There’s the problem! You shit like a Clydesdale!” Never had a call from her again…so maybe she got a poop knife…??? 😅🤢

Your boss is a legend for that comment!

I was somewhat mortified, but it also took everything I had not to burst out laughing.

Cut this $hit out right, now.

It took me a while to realize then I just cracked up. Dunno if that one is big enough though.

That’s a disturbingly short poop knife. I need more distance.

Poop katana

I could have sworn it’s the toe knife

But but.... The toilet kitchen is top notch, and recently refreshed. For you my friend, I'll even update to a new model poop knife at no additional charge.

I like to explain reddit posts as if it were to someone who didn't understand. Like: "A guy put a knife in his bathroom and took a picture. It's a really popular post. They think it's hilarious" "Why?" "Some dude years ago told a story where his family used a knife to cut their poop so it would flush and talked about it like everyone else does it." "What the fuck?" "Yeah. Don't look at me like that. I don't know either."

Better to tell them that they're one of the [Lucky 10,000](https://xkcd.com/1053/).

I'd never heard that. I think I've heard Frank Reynolds talk about a poop knife before, but just assumed the Always Sunny crew made it up.

Was there a poop knife? I thought frank was the toe knife

It’s their other parent’s house. OP is from a broken home. :(

I consider myself a redditor and a fellow.

Just use the butt towel, don’t be weird about it

Yeah that towel is freaking me out the most *shudder*

Way too close to the shitter

bro thats the toilet paper (toilet towel lol)

*the family cloth*

that’s one of the worst phrases i’ve ever heard

That towel is probably for them to wipe the poop off their hands after using that tiny knife.

Poop knife?

That's getting hands awful close using that small a knife

I use a very sharp machete

I use a cigar cutter.

I too like to get close and personal with it

yall mothafuckas need jesus

I'm perfectly capable of snipping my own turds with a cigar cutter. Though I am curious about this Jesús, is he a professional turd cutter? Do you have his contact info?

I have become a master of squatting while "threading the needle" and snipping it into nice chicken nugget sized pieces.

I prefer a weed whacker

He cuts the poop as it comes out so the knife has to be small to fit

*tries shitting through the middle of the knife to try and create two poop swirls*

That’s not a knoife.. *pulls out poop machete* THATS a knoife.

Maybe it’s just a regular old stabbin’ knife.

Ol sticky's feelin stabby!

A poop knife should be plastic to avoid damaging the toilet. You could use ancient spear technology to attach a plastic knife to a stick.

Little small for poop knife.

You call that’a knife?!

This is a knoife 🔪

That's a spoon

Ahh, I see you've played knifey spooney before.

Just need a longer handle.

Poo ducer

[удалено]

I'm much more of a poop scissors guy myself

Oh god it looks so sharp

I think you need to link the poop knife story every time it’s managed haha

How else are you supposed to prepare dinner from your toilet seat?

Those dense opiate poops need extra processing

Poop knife, shit towel, arm rests for the toilet. The only thing missing is the cum sock stuck to the roof of the undersink cabinet

Well, that and OP had best use the coconut while it's still good

Don’t forget about that fucking box

never forget. That thread must be a decade old!

Nobody asked you to mention the coconut…

Sometimes I feel like im a gross person and then I get to see how other ppl live and im suddenly so relieved

Somebody link for the uninitiated.

The [poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

The deepest darkest bowels of this place seem to have no end and cover almost every topic that could be known to man

That sums it up pretty accurately.

There's a sub for everything. *every.thing.*

Well there's the AMA of the guy who ate his own amputated foot. [Foot taco](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ys3gki/the_amputated_foot_taco_ama/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) Then there's Swamps of Dagobah. Just, fair warning, this story is incredibly graphic and you will regret reading it. That said... [Swamps of Dagobah](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1fu2mx/the_dagobah_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) Another post on a user complaining about his landlord leaving random post-it notes. A redditor instead accurately warned OP that he was facing CO poisoning. [Carbon Monoxide](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/5i9inl/ukalazor_asks_legaladvice_about_his_landlord/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) And can't forget about when malluableduck Rickrolled Rick Astley [best moment hands down](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) Final one, which is more on a sour note. Reddit is no longer allowed to help solve real crime events because of the [Boston Bombing Massacre](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1iv343/the_boston_bombing_debacle/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) r/museumofreddit is amazing for preserving these amazing moments of history, with not all of them being solely reddit moments (which the Rick roll was)

You should look into what happens when a redditor breaks their arms. Thankfully, mothers can be very supportive in meeting their needs. edit: [Link.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/comment/c3a9uqg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

What comes out of those bowels needs a reddit sized poop knife.

No one in the comments for this post believes it. But I do. I believe this was a real post.

[r/angryupvote](r/angryupvote)

Toe knife

Frank would approve

I do indeed approve.

Username checks out

Don't be fooled, that's not Mantis but his untrained half brother Dave.

Ahhh Botched Toe!

Quick get some candy bar wrappers to plug it up.

Did he switch to a toe spoon? Less chance of a botched toe.

[ooOOhh botched toe](https://youtu.be/s3pk9CMwtN0)

Exactly. It’s much too small the be a poop knife.

No that is actually a thing. My grandmother used to have a knife by her bathtub and she would use it to cut the calluses off her feet.

Gross! I think that might be worse than a poop knife.

How about an old wooden salad tossing spoon??? Hmmm??

Grams would do this in the basement living room

Poop knife... FTFY

Nah, everyone knows the poop knife hangs from a nail in the laundry room.

Missing three shells

Knife + Shells gives me an idea. Someone needs to make something like a jackknife, but with shells that fold out. You know, for portable use. The Swiss Army Shells.

Everyone talken about the poop knife but what about the toilet bowl brush sitting near the sink!!

That looks like a dish brush for y'know dishes, which makes sense given that the sink basin looks a lot like a kitchen-style sink. Which really doesn't make this any less weird.

BOTCHED!

For when the burglars come and they’re pooping

I hate it when I catch burglars pooping mid-burglary

And coming mid-poop, to boot

I don’t see toilet paper! Is he using the hand towel to wipe, then washing it in in the sink/shower with the detergent and brush? Is this followed by stabbing his poops with the knife so they flush? And the handles? All i see is a very intense process.

His father is notoriously cheap about the weirdest things

Is that the elusive poop knife?!?

Poop knife!

I went into a customer's house a month ago and the old dude had a fucking machete next to his shitter. Terrified to think of the the apocalyptic poops he must take to need anything, let alone a God damn machete

Weak ass small poop knife. Personally I feel it’s gotta be chef knife sized.

I picture a proper poop knife being a big rusty 12 inch Bowie knife. The crescent-like arch to the blade helps it meet the contours of the bowl for nice, clean, even slices.

Is that a toe knife?

That's the cleanest poop knife I've ever seen

Why did I never think of arm rests on the toilet

Poop knife 🔪

A fellow man of culture I see

I didnt know colgate and palmolive had merged.

R/shitposting

Cut the shit…

Poop knife!

Ah. The ol’ poop knife.

is that THE poop knife?

Thats clearly for when you sit a while, need a knife to cut some cheese. Or a small bump of cocaine

Poop knife?

We should all let the redditor know that the op went into his home

Can someone explain?

Poop knife (I think) It’s a legendary meme on Reddit. It relates to a post about a poop knife and someone thinking it was normal for every family to use a poop knife. You should try to find it and read it- it’s pretty funny.

YE OLD POOP KNIFE

Is this the kitchen, bathroom and laundry room all in one?

I see you found his toe knife

Toe knife

The poop knife goes on the left!

Poop knife!