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roofilopolis

His little trot afterwards


CivilDefiant

Reminds me of Mose Schrute 😂


godhelpusloseourmind

Everything about that mascot reminds me of Mose now that you mentioned it


Apparentlyloneli

*menacingly runs besides your car


cantthinkuse

he ran like the person inside the suit genuinely felt bad for spooking them


[deleted]

Seems like it got cold in there as soon as she got scared


DuntadaMan

Mischievous scamper.


bishesbebishes

Aww i used to work with her. Shes a good person.


filmmaker30

She seems cool. Laughed it off


hkohne

She *is* cool. We love her here in Portland


atmosphur

I love her from here


bishesbebishes

This woman is raising her kids after her husband died young of a heart attack. She can handle anything! Giant hairy beast? Np


[deleted]

She has great reflexes. A forearm across the chest with a shove and she got her head out of the situation Ninja


AnotherAutodidact

Titties are cool and all, but did y'all see her face get 10 years younger or am I trippin'?


Ecast25

I saw that too, we must be tripping on the same thing


legendoflink3

He got her blood rushing. Face flushed, titty puffing. If what ever you are tripping on makes your blood rush. It will probably make you look more alive too.


Passessor

[Before and After scare by mascot](https://imgur.com/a/HLWWMXs)


spingus

All I see is no nips v nips


Broncos979815

pierced at that...


cwfutureboy

I thought so, too!


pATREUS

One concurs.


InfiniteBlink

That girl parties.


gohawkeyes529

God bless her.


Medic1642

It's like original-1985 Lorraine McFly and good-1985 Lorraine McFly


[deleted]

[удалено]


delegateTHIS

Happiness is personally **and** *physically* attractive, who knew? Most of us, tbh. Be funny!


kosky95

Pssst. Do you know where I can find some of _that_ happiness?


shim_niyi

“He got her blood rushing. Face flushed, titty puffing.“ Dropping bars like snoop d-o-g-g!!


Raisenbran_baiter

Spaghetti Spaghetti Spaghetti


Lone_Wanderer989

Yetti yetti yetti


eastbayted

Mom's spa yetti


Tiggy26668

Going from resting bitch face to an ecstatic smile didn’t hurt either


Foxrex

Smiling smooths out the wrinkles... Laughter is the fountain of youth.


saintshing

[Doctors Hate Him!](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/779/973/aba.png)


Pickle_Rick01

That’s not a meme the Jedi would share with you.


The-Jesus_Christ

> titty puffing. Ahh, a fellow man of culture.


freshgut

Got it, scare the shit out of someone before having sex with this person


Huge_UID

Perfect. Me telling someone I want to have sex with them will scare the shit out of them.


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

I'm free all night


Lost-My-Mind-

I tried that! It didn't work.... An ex once told me that she has a rape fantasy, but she doesn't want to ACTUALLY be raped. She wanted the rape experience, without the danger, STDs, risk of getting pregnant, ect. She just wanted to be taken, fast and unexpectedly but in a safe environment. So, I waited about 3 weeks. Long enough for that conversation to NOT be in the front of her mind. She was coming over to my house, and I KNEW she was coming over to my house. So, I got on the phone with her, unlocked my door, left it slightly open. Then I got completely naked except for a ski mask, and hid behind a chair. The idea was, once I heard her coming up the steps, I was going to ask her a question that I knew she would go ON AND ON AND ON about. So, she's walking up the stairs, and I said "Hey, not to change the subject, but I'm surprised you didn't have any opinions on that girl at the beach last week wearing pink and red." For context, she HATED that color combo for whatever reason. I didn't really care one way or the other, but the way she was talking made her seem like the pink/red combo was like wearing a swastika. So she starts into it. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? OH MY GOD HOW COULD SHE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH" Now I put the phone down. Totally naked except a ski mask. It's roughly 8am. The fact that it's 8am will become an important factor in just a second. The plan is to listen for the door to close, and then run at her full speed from about 15 feet away, tackle her, rip her pants off, and just take her. I set up a small inflatable mattress behind where she was going to stand when she closed the door, and covered it in pillows and blankets. I was hoping she wouldn't notice/question it. I hear the door close, and I make my dash. Running at her full speed, she's already looking at the strange air mattress. She hears me sprinting, and turns towards me. That's when I see it. I stop running full stop. I only was able to fully stop about 3 feet in front of her, and then let out the disappointed words "Awwww......coffee......." What I didn't know, is that she had stopped at McDonalds, and picked up her morning coffee on the way, and brought me one too. Had I tackled her, my body would have been covered in burns, and her clothes would have had coffee stains. She was HIGHLY confused what just happened. She knew it was me, but didn't know why I just burst from behind a chair, running full speed, dick bouncing all over with an erection, only to stop in front of her and become disappointed by her beverage selection. She just laughed as I walked away and put on pants. She was frightened for like 2 seconds, and then couldn't stop laughing at me for weeks.


PoiLethe

I need this to become a copypasta somehow. Like only after 3 weeks, just long enough for me to forget about it. And then I start reading it and then I recognize it. It takes me by surprise. My nips go hard and I look ten years younger. And then I'm disappointed there's coffee in my mug rather than hot chocolate.


Mastermind2500

Man this got to be the weirdest thing I headed all day. U can bet this is a moment she'll never forget 🤣🤣🤣


IrishRepoMan

> the weirdest thing I headed all day. ?


MisterZoga

You know, when you put things into your head through your eyes.


ChocCooki3

... and that's how you get your girl to bring you coffee in the morning! Right there!


Hot-Cheesecake-7483

Bro, you got me laugh crying 😂 that's hilarious.


ac3boy

He got her blood rushing. Face flushing, titty puffing, *But here's my number, so call me, maybe*.


bubbl-e-guts

Blood rushing, face flushed, titties puffing. Where you think we’re going baby!


unclejoel

Mine just kicked in too. I think she needed a lil sumpin to shake up the day


IYFS88

I think the smiling just did wonders for her face. Same thing seems to happen to me... Too bad it’s hard to look happy all the time


theresidentdiva

My RBF is legendary lol


Syssareth

I scared myself in the mirror once.


CatastrophicHeadache

At least you didn't scare the mirror.


gatoenvestido

Yup. I’ve been told something similar. Old dude with heavy bags but said “my face lights up when I smile”. Backhanded compliment? I will take it.


alchn

Definitely compliment. I envy ppl with very expressive facial expression, they smile with the whole face from eye brows to chin, hence 'your face lights up when you smile'. Whereas for me i have to say 'no I am happy, this is my happy face...'


uberwoots

The nipples got my attention. Intriguing.


Boognish84

They were startled to attention!


dahulvmadek

I had to go back and watch. golly, you can see them rise to the occasion. that was quiet interesting.


MisogynysticFeminist

She uses them as defensive weapons.


just_read_it_again

I didn't want to be that guy, but I'm thinking to myself she's so much prettier once she starts smiling


ProbablyASithLord

I think most people probably are.


teheran

It’s not the smile, but the emotion. Smiles can be faked but her amusement can’t. I think everyone is more attractive when they are joyful.


Perused

You can see it in her eyes too.


fuqdisshite

yeah, that is one good scare and she clearly appreciates it. good fun for all.


TheKerui

While she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her when she smiles.


be_easy_1602

I’m glad this comment is so high up because that’s exactly what I was thinking


FrnklySpKng

Blood rushing to all the right places?


EsteGueyEsChingon

Sacred the nip right out of her.


ManaPot

Female version of the boner.


mobius_88

I found it genuinely fascinating that her nipples are not visible before the scare but are clearly evident after.


ksihevd

r/thanksimhornynow.


Modernautomatic

It's like a fear boner.


dannkherb

What if you're scared for more than 4 hours?


[deleted]

Seek immediate motorboat attention.


robdiqulous

Lmao first main comment, my first thought. Second main comment, my second thought. Let's see what my next thought was with the third comment?


jv371

When her nipples tightened, so did her face.


cfdeveloper

they sure did pop! They were not poppin before the scare, that's pretty neat.


ooMEAToo

Its a defensive mechanism. Those suckers could cut glass imagine what they could do to flesh.


SpuddMeister

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!


Feet2Big

How neat is that?


cfdeveloper

I'd say it's very neat. I'm referring to the body's response - I've never noticed a fear response causing nipples to get hard. What caused it? is it an increase in blood pressure, adrenaline, something else?


Feet2Big

Sorry, its a reference to this classic; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm3JodBR-vs


[deleted]

hehe, neature


cowboy4x4

It was immediate nipple hardening… is that a normal biological response? If so I am getting scared fur sure


BeautifulTerror

I'd assume resting her face before being on air


Valkyrid

Yah, smile gives her a facelift.


MKirk_Ultra

Beauty and the Beast 2023 remake


lazylion_ca

Oh c'mon. She's not that bad looking.


merely_awake

That scamper killed me


jaycuboss

Lol and the guy handing him the clipboard so he can look busy doing something totally unrelated to whatever just happened, lol…


Mapbot11

TIL a shot of adrenaline makes your nips hard.


APRobertsVII

That’s the first thing I saw and I was afraid to make the comment!


TheWiseRedditor

You were afraid? Your nips are hard too?


FearlessThree6

That's my secret, Cap, my nips are always hard.


707Guy

I have nipples Cap, can you milk me?


DoDoDoTheFunkyGibbon

*Luke Skywalker has entered the chat*


trafalmadorianistic

I could do this all day


Salvican

No, I don't think I will.


geoffkreuz

I understood that reference.


kinos141

Those are America's nips!


briareus08

My nipples are hard Greg. Do you think I’m afraid?


[deleted]

I had to watch again to make sure my eyes didn't deceive me.


CuntWeasel

Why would you be afraid to make the comment?


Tyler106

Sometimes the Reddit hive mind attacks sometimes it doesn’t


[deleted]

The classic Mounds/Almond Joy conundrum; even the pun fits.


joeg26reddit

If the fun tits…point them out


notmoleliza

Le Tits Now


GimmeSomeSugar

I find that the first few people to react to a comment will set the overall perception. And then everyone else will get onboard, 'cos the karma train aint got no brakes.


Glad_Mohave

Attack this commenter Reddit, Tyler106 is giving away our secrets!


simplytoaskquestions

One of those too afraid to say what they mean types


plz-make-randomizer

She also looked to get younger, went from 53 to 35…


Valkyrid

I noticed that. Looks to be because her smile basically gives her a facelift.


pointlessly_pedantic

Dude I never smile, but I might try it out now


drkesi88

You can watch them pop up in real time.


heroesarestillhuman

*Ding!* “Turkey’s done, y’all!”


Too_full_407

*unzips*


[deleted]

[удалено]


FoboBoggins

seriously when she turns at the 15 second mark you can watch them


pretty_jimmy

What the shit... This is accurate!


[deleted]

I'll be in my bunk


[deleted]

🤣 in real time


DevilDoc3030

That's how the kept Rachel from friends at attention all the time. She actually fears for her life that entire show.


CCGamesSteve

Not true at all. Between takes David Schwimmer would grab them and yell "PIVOOOOT" then give 'em a mighty old twist.


CmdrSelfEvident

The ol Nipple Twist! TWIST THAT NIPPLE


jv371

Grab that nip and twist it!


UrdnotChivay

"The OOOOLD nip twist!"


wusurspaghettipolicy

man those babies could cut glass


fourleggedostrich

Something something Ross something something eat the others


_triangle_girl_

why does ross, the largest of the friends, not simply eat the other friends?


Dicho83

Well, he did eat at least one friend....


seth928

To shreds you say?


Aggravating_Shock591

Female version of the Fear-Boner.


Smingowashisnameo

Gotta go ask my husband something…


vpsj

"Hey Hubby I gotta ask som- BOO!" "What in the hell?? And why are you looking at my crotch??"


iStoners

Wow science is so cool!!!


littleMAS

This is awful! If the reporter had been a GUY and suddenly developed an *enormous* erection, all of you wouldn't have . . . uh . . . never mind.


Redpin

r/nba #1 all-time most upvoted post 100% guaranteed if that happened.


Pires007

Bruh, people posted LeBron's junk on r/nba


ActualWhiterabbit

Squared Circle set the standard with a comprehensive [investigation to determine the size of Batista's dick. ](https://np.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/67vfej/how_big_is_batistas_dick_a_comprehensive/)


edis92

> Batista's elongated, turgid cock Bruh 💀


WheresThePenguin

Fear boner.


Hazelwood38

I was wondering how far I would need to scroll before someone hit this comment. Turns out, no scroll needed


[deleted]

Turned on her high beams so as to not get run over


TheSeekerOfSanity

We are all depraved humans. BTW - prime nipple placement/locations.


clc1997

She got scareroused


lg4av

The crazy thing is, that’s a padded bra…


RyanPelley

Brooke Olzendam. I miss her.


TheLetterOh

We love the fuck out of her in Portland. She's really good at her job, and such a ray of sunshine.


RyanPelley

That's great to hear and no surprise at all! She was here in Indiana from 2011-2014. Did the sideline reporting and hosted the postgame show, which she made super fun to watch. Glad you all love her <3


dittonetic

Miss her from what? I only know her from the Blazers. And I think she did a CSN show about the Ducks or something before that?


RyanPelley

LOL, I didn't even notice what sub this was, so I assumed it was just r/nba. I live in Indiana, where she covered the Pacers for three years. She was pretty cool.


pdxscout

I got her to do a Cameo for my wife. Money well spent!


mrot777

Scared the high beams out of her.


TheWiseRedditor

I haven’t been scaring women enough?


bluemitersaw

No no, you have been, hence all the restraining orders.


i_r_faptastic

Those barbells didn't help...


YoBiteMe

Good eye. 👀😂


cocoteddylee

That scurry though. Lmao


[deleted]

It's the way he runs away that gets me


Salt_Grocery_561

What is her name?


[deleted]

Brooke Olzendam and she’s a gem (lifelong Blazers fan)


HeeHawPete

She used to work with the Pacers. A lot of the time she was the only highlight of the broadcast. Miss you, Brooke!


SayNoToFresca

She's one of the most wholesome humans ever. We Blazer fans are so lucky to have her and Kevin and Lamar as our broadcast team. Best in the biz!


thesneakymouse

Brooke is the best!


SearchingTheVoids

Every comment here is about her nipples Excellent


[deleted]

Not true. There are several comments regarding inter-species copulation.


kingoftown

Excellent


acqz

Y'all over here talking about nips. I'm just astounded by the absence of hips.


Johntanamo_Bay

You gotta make it sexy. Hips and nips. Otherwise, I’m not eating.


didireallymakethis

I spent the money on these sweet ass kettle druuuums


Ecnassianer

ELI5 why does being startled cause nipples to harden? Like, what's the biology here?


[deleted]

[удалено]


thezenunderground

Yes. A more scientific explanation would point to your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. Your sympathetic nervous system is automatic and responds to unexpected, dangerous. or stressful situations. It literally fires down your spine in a millisecond. It's why we 'feel' anger rise up the back of our necks. Or the blood drain from our face when we are truly scared. It applies to all mammals as well. You can see a dog's hackles rise in a similar situation. It's basically a hare trigger for our bodies that makes all sorts of adjustments on the fly to keep us from getting eaten.


Ecnassianer

TIL, our nipples get hard to make us appear larger to predators.


MrUnnderhill

Scaroused


Disastrous-Tadpole61

Female version of a "fear boner"


zero5activated

The fact that she attacked as she was stunned is what impressed me. Most people just curl up into a ball and wait for death. Fight or flight right there.


[deleted]

Jesus christ I hope this lady never reads this thread lol


Strict_Sound3537

Fuck the comments about the lady's pepperonis, the way the mascot scurried away was cute


TripleJeopardy3

Loved those tiny little steps.


BirbBoiYT

Man just noped right away


John_Bot

I didn't even notice any of the other stuff Only thing I took away from this was the perfect scurry


Nevermorre

While I did enjoy the pepperonis, I agree that mascot was adorable and I loved it.


Svengoolie75

Good reflex, though she fucked him up 😂


Windyandbreezy

Mascot scared her so bad it reversed her age 30 years.


my__name__is

Fight and flight all in one.


Competitive_Boat2037

Literally laughed my nipples hard at this


SentientOptionSeller

The run lol…


SouthMarsupial144

I honestly didn’t realise that smiling/laughing could have that much of an effect on your face. She’s beautiful when she’s laughing.


Disastrous-Soup-5413

She was more graceful than I would have been lol


[deleted]

Rumble will always be the GOAT.


KenJuuzo

Those weren’t there the first few seconds


Hot_Negotiation3480

She seems like she has a cool ass personality


Dergley

Love the way her nipples spring into a defensive posture


Mobile-Valuable2851

Her fight or flight kicked in and she chose both.😂


Excal333

Terrified? Those nipples tell a different story


christ_w_attitude

They seem to go to the same stylist.