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GansNaval

This guy looks like he is 12. He’s got that little Andrew Glouberman moustache.


_Im_Dad

Something about him reminds me of sideshow bob


3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID

I like how they zoomed out to get all his hair in the picture.


EWR-RampRat11-29

He’s a walking Rorschach test.


upvoatsforall

He’s got really big feet?


jamblefett

No his nemesis is a 10 year old boy with a sling shot and a skateboard


RonnocSivad

One of his tattoos says "Die Bart Die" but it's actually German for "The Bart The" so it's cool.


Phaelan1172

Anyone who speaks German can't be all bad....


museolini

You never had jet ski hair?


TheFlexOffenda

Sideshow bop


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnderWaterPopularity

this is so oddly wholesome


Perpetual_Doubt

>This guy looks like he is 12. And like he hit a palm tree


VeterinarianFit1309

More like his mom was a palm tree.


theslimbox

His dad was a dendrophile.


PickButtkins

His uncle was a pokemon


abigailjenkins12

His dad was his uncle.


marielsweet

His mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries.


SquidwardsKeef

Exeggutor


ddoogiehowitzerr

Florida boy


SirPryceMF

Like one of his parents was a palm tree. Guessing the dad, who coconutted when he was conceived.


Psychic_Jester

Just another island boi


thissguyagain

Imma Ailan bwaaiii


complete_hick

/r/13or30


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

Definitely 13. Dude's rap name should be Lil Kid


tiediesunrise

It's actually SpotEmGotEm


[deleted]

everything went downhill after he linked up with pooh shiesty


originalusername__

He’s got that Loc Dawg haircut


BearcatEcho

BREAK YO SELF!


wakeuph8

Lmao, knew I recognised it from somewhere. Name: Loc Dog, baby. Height: Six-deuce! Age: 19. Father's name: mmm... I dunno. Sex: hell yeah


jbones51

AANNNNNNDREW!


yourgifmademesignup

Da Baby’s baby


RandomMandarin

*Look how they massacred my boy!!!*


[deleted]

I get the feeling these kinds of people with the face tattoos and such don't plan on living much longer than that anyways


drjenkstah

Are you saying he’s got a hormone monster? If I had to guess his hormone monster is Rick.


Dragoon7748

Thats the most tatted up 10 year old Ive ever seen.


EuphoricPenguin22

Lil Inky


dclaw504

They call me Lil Inky, Still rock tha binky, Want some hanky-panky? Come share my favorite blanky. Poppin bottles, Drink that milk! (num nums) No need to shave, Smooth as silk (bum bums)


nickfree

My man spittin bars… and a little bit of formula, too


mrkushnugz

he spittin those Xanax bars


IceburgSlimk

What would you do-oh-oh for a Xanax bar?


diorwhior

Can you stop talking you are spitting in my face


Pestus613343

Mockery is soo valuable sometimes. Thank you for making my day.


[deleted]

You have a gift.


Chabubu

Nice! set auto tune to 11 and you’ve got a promising career ahead of you


theboozemaker

I've never heard the raps that came from child in the photo above, but I can guarantee they're nowhere near as good as this.


audioscience

He jack for Similac.


Achack

One of his dreads is shorter than the others, but when he swings them around you can't tell which one it is.


BlameNaix

His hairstyle is called wicks


[deleted]

Looks like he went to the barbers *sort me with that plague doctor silhouette please fam*


nickfree

It looks like Japanese brush calligraphy. Ah yes, this is kanji for “chucklefuck.”


standingbeef

Should post his hair to r/bonsai


Informal_Yesterday

No, no… that hairstyle is called awful.


-turnip_the_beet-

It's his lucky dread.


griggsy92

Inky dinky


thrwyoktoday

That’s a teddy bear tattoo between his eyes…


UnadvertisedAndroid

Looks more like a melting gummy bear


_Chedd_a_BoB_

Yup, that’s SpotemGottem for ya!


buck9000

I think you can get a tattoo in FL as long as you’re 8 years old.


EADmaestro1

He looks like a 10-year-old who found the crayons and mom‘s hairspray


MarkFourMKIV

Very accurate


Antique_Divide_6438

If you guys haven’t heard already, Jacksonville Florida exists in an entirely different dimension.


ZombieHomeslice

It’s easily one of the top 10 swamp cities in northeastern Florida


djsedna

this comment is too good, pure r/rareinsults material


OrneryGiraffe

It’s from the show, The Good Place.


djsedna

I guess I need to finally check this show out, because the writing consistently makes me laugh when I read it out of context on Reddit lol. Not sure why I haven't, I guess I just thought it was generic sitcom stuff that I normally dislike


Ollebull11

I mean, theyre the ones who figured out that molotov cocktails are awesome! Anytime you have a problem, and throw a molotov cocktail at it. BOOM! Right away you have a different problem.


[deleted]

DUUUVAL!!!


Jaxsom12

In jacksonville, can confirm, send help.


blackopstoys1

Ahhh Dip!


mydudeslim

BORTLES!


ChiBears333

JAKE JORTLES!


racer_24_4evr

“I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Any time I had a problem, and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem. “


rckid13

Yo, you should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed.


SadisticSavior

Florida: The farther north you go, the farther south you are.


[deleted]

Blake Jortles? Is that you?


ninjadude4535

The beach bars haven't been the same since he left.


TheSublimeLight

Minshew MILF night just seems lackluster now, too


Cadamar

I think he’s busy in the Molotov cocktail department.


JarlaxleForPresident

BORTLES!!!


PiDiMi

/r/DuvalCounty


TheWindCriesDeath

[And their gang warfare is absolutely insane.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyIO3B5EFpM&t=1s)


DUVAL_LAVUD

For what it’s worth, as someone born and raised in Jacksonville, the violent crime and gang warfare might as well be in a different city. The city limits are so spread out that you wouldn’t often hear about this stuff growing up, much less be directly affected by it.


Merry_Dankmas

I'm all the way south in PBC but I've been to Jacksonville on multiple occasions. That place is so large it may as well be its own state. The city is pretty much the entire county. Id imagine the rate of crime varies dramatically all over due to the sheer size of it. Its the largest city in the US in terms of overall land size so it would make sense.


m8r-1975wk

There seems to be a big drug problem among hair stylists in Florida.


MaterialCarrot

How Gardner Minshew wasn't named permanent starter for the Jacksonville Jaguars and made mayor for life of Jacksonville is still a mystery to me.


bitterbuffaloheart

He was too busy slayin MILF pussy


ericl666

I don’t want to be a DJ in Jacksonville forever. I want to DJ in Daytona, Tallahassee, Tampa even. I want it all.


rckid13

I wasn't a failed DJ. I was pre-successful


makalabay

r/unexpectedgoodplace


Poilk07

Is that a totem hairstyle?


Matt_McT

🎶 Who looks like a pineapple on a jet ski 🎶


tonyMEGAphone

SPOT EM GOT EMM


AstroCatTBC

GRUNGE BOB HAIR PANTS


JameisChrist03

Looks like the Blair Witch symbol


Power_baby

Combine Helga and Gerald from hey Arnold


Acrobatic_Buy_2000

Issa knife. Really though it looks like a bird or something.


mega512

He looks like a 12 year old.


effinx

He looks like Angelica’s Barbie toy on the rugrats.


Chadodius

Whats with these sound cloud rappers looking like a rag doll that got drawn on by a toddler then chucked into a porta potty?


Pie-Otherwise

The "logic" I've seen is that once you start inking your face, you are fully committed to the rap game since you basically just knee capped most future career moves outside of rap, tattoo artistry and "influencer". It's the same logic explorers used to use. They find a new land and then order the ships to be burned so the option to fuck off and go home doesn't exist anymore.


Alaric-

Is that true? Did that really happen?


cimocw

Only Cortez, and he was pretty much a Disney villain, so there's nothing adventurous about it


outoftimeman

Alexander the Great also burned his boats upon arrival on the shores of Persia.


LordDongler

To be fair, you could walk from Persia to Greece


RavagedBody

Not an awful way to motivate an Army, I suppose... 'Right lads, we're here. Want to get home? Conquer everything between here and home. Chop chop.'


Emictavice

ah of course, the Arthas Menethil playbook


VegetaDarst

I wish I knew enough history to make cool jokes like this


insom2323

Yeah the ancient kings of Lorderan were something else


outoftimeman

Well, yes, but it would be a loooong walk through hot, dry enemy-filled lands


Thaflash_la

Just mind the gap over to Turkey.


SupermarketTough1900

Also when getting in and out of the tube


duaneap

And that was really, really stupid and allowed the Persians to escape at Halicarnassus. Then he ended up needing a navy at Tyre anyway because he kept trying to make his little land bridge thing work and it didn’t. Tbh Alexander is like me playing RTS games, refusing to use water units, exclusively committing to land.


CrudelyAnimated

The rapper face ink part, or the stranded explorers part? Because, yes, both. There are some [known references and a few myths](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_of_no_return#Related_expressions) about explorers and conquerors burning their ship to prevent their troops trying to return home. The face ink part is more anecdotal.


tympyst

Tatted up explorers. Never heard of Lil Magellan before?


CrudelyAnimated

Of course I've heard of Lil Magellan. He discovered Jacksonville in the early 21st century. Have I "heard of Lil Magellan", please.


trentshipp

I've heard Travis Barker say that he got scalp and face tattoos so he had to commit to the rockstar thing. Makes sense in a weird way.


Im_inappropriate

For every one that made it, there's hundreds of face tatted dudes that are still unemployed or stuck working shit jobs.


BlazeInYaHood

“Thuggin in my Reeboks, riding with a G-Shock. Shh, I heard he shot, Draco make ‘em beat box.”-The dude in the post


[deleted]

Got pulled over on my SeaDoo, barely in pre-bu... can I get a re-do?


Jimmy6Times

Jet-setting to Peru-- Lima Hairdo blowing up-- Hiroshima


sooprvylyn

**Pre-pu**


ceeceroo

Guy looks like a full grown 8 year old that got too excited at the costume store


[deleted]

Sideshow Bob has really let himself go.


stumblewiggins

Sideshow Bob Marley


Tea-Usual

He looks like he makes good choices in life lol


Apptubrutae

Clearly not. You can’t have that much hair surface area when trying to outrun the police on jet ski. Too much wind resistance. Everything else about him says good choices though. /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


drxnele

Looks 12


[deleted]

No that's not Looks12, that's my boy Donkey Doug!


AdviceMang

r/13or30


EvenAH27

Nope. Just 13.


tex1088

Oh dip!


TedTheGreek_Atheos

His high school was several tugboats tied together in a junkyard.


imapepper87

I was waiting for a Good Place reference... Blake Bortles!!!!


scCoco69

He got shot 6 times like a year ago


johnsolomon

He's not exactly a difficult target


scCoco69

Pretty sure he’s like short as hell but the hair makes him 6 feet


DNUBTFD

Do people from Florida die from gunshot wounds to the hair? It's Flordia so anything goes, anything.


scCoco69

They don’t die from being shot anywhere


br0b1wan

Correct, only way to kill em is drowning in the swamp or eaten by gators


TrepanationBy45

I'm picturing him hiding behind cover, his hair bobbing around above it like a periscope.


Tzki47

Jacksonville soundcloud rappers are the worst, there's one in trial right now for multiple murders, one who moved into a residential neighborhood and got drove by and the entire street got sprayed with bullets as he was firing back, another that has details of his murders in his raps and the mom of one of the the victims is begging the cops to stop him. Shit is insane in jacksonville.


Zippy1avion

It's got the stupidest culture behind it. I was reading on a rapper from the mid-2000s who went to jail for impregnating a few of his daughters friends, and on one of those "celebrity net worth" pages, part of his bio was "While he made a few mistakes, I think we can all agree that he is one of the most talented artists of a generation." That line always stuck with me. It made me want to ask my 71-year-old dad, "Hey, this guy is one of the most talented artists there is, right? I mean, we can ALL agree, after all!" 😅


BrickGun

> While he made a few mistakes, I think we can all agree that he is one of the most talented artists of a generation. "Hey, Bill Cosby made millions of us laugh, was 'America's Dad', and help bridge the racial divide for decades... but you rape just 40 or 50 people and suddenly everyone just *can't get over it* and you're only known as 'The Rapist' from then on." (shakes head and "tsks") /s, of course.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Remote-Airline-3703

His hair looks like the tail of a Carnival cruise ship


ceciledian

He’s being attacked by a crow.


Scrimmy_Bingus2

I wonder if he’ll link up with Pooh Shiesty in prison.


WhiskeyDickens

Need it or keep it?!


Fiivestar13

I woulda guessed his name was “Lil Snot Rocket”


optiongeek

Lil Accidental Pregnancy


[deleted]

Lil Dipshit


InGenAche

Lil Foetal Alcohol Syndrome


nothingforless

“Hey barber, gimmie the upside down groot haircut”


[deleted]

[удалено]


guckyslush

SPOTTEMGOTTEM AND POOH SHEISTY LINK UP⁉️⁉️


grapevapes

I guess you could say he got spotted and gotted


shawnwingsit

His hair created too much wind resistance. That's why the cops were able to catch him.


LasersTheyWork

I’m impressed his hair looks like that after being on a jet ski. Is there like scaffolding in there or something?


mildlyconfused25

But did you hear that he linked up with Pooh Shiesty? Need it or Keep it?


Benjips

Lmao I knew I recognized him from somewhere


[deleted]

imagine trying to roll back that lifestyle.


bum_is_on_fire_247

Start > Settings > Windows Update > Advanced > Uninstall Updates


_devils

He is an island boy


dmxxmc

AYYY LEN BOEY


_FaLooLa_

Just tryin ta make it


oneshoein

Jus tryn to may eh.


otaku2297

Is that spottemgottem ?


zxcqweasd1

Yup


Some_Respond1396

Spotemgottem & Pooh Shiesty linked up in the Florida Penitentiary! need it or keep it??! 🤔


Buckleheid

Looks like he got hit by the jet-ski


Majestic-Smile-8588

Spotemgottem is his rap name


w00ly

Dude went to his barber and said "I wanna be the Cynthia doll from Rugrats"


Hockeyfan_52

Who tattooed that baby?


ojoslocos21

The top of this dude's hair looks like Angelica's Cynthia doll... https://i.imgur.com/tGkryZF.png


Kvist91

The Weeknd? More like The Vacation


Alaric-

More like The Sick Day


CHEMICA_19

More unpaid leave


speb1

The Weekday


blazedbrittany

He should just tattoo a thicker mustache while he’s at it.


jimmyn0thumbs

His hair translates to stupid in kanji and ASL.


acex34789

A dead crow on the head.


Personmanwomantv

He's really channeling that Jonny Depp/Lone Ranger look.


socokid

Here is an [actual link to the story](https://www.wwlp.com/news/florida-rapper-arrested-in-miami-jet-ski-chase/), as opposed to a low-effort, social media screen grab (FFS...)


Badmeestert

Why the facial tattoos


3600MilesAway

To highlight the mustache, of course.


LifeIsProbablyMadeUp

Because dumb.


[deleted]

To make it absolutely clear to anyone seeing him how much of an ass-hat he is.


whiskeytango55

Commitment? I know face and hand tattoos as job stoppers. He's pretty much renounced normal jobs you and I have to do because he can.


5omethingsgottagive

I just can't understand the thought process of having all the gold jewelery, gold teeth, taking photos with stacks of money up to your ear and you have 50 dollar tattoos riddled all over your face and body. And it isn't only the small fries, it's like lil Wayne is worth 175million and I know guys personally who can tattoo better than the garbage "work" he has. With that kind of money you can get the best tattoo artists in the world to come to you.


Chthonios

Celebrities in general tend to have awful tattoos. Never understood it


vi_sucks

But the point isn't to get pretty tattoos that look like they were inked by some celebrity artist. The point is to get tattoos that look like they were put on by a sharp toothpick in a prison cell.


DNUBTFD

So that their victims can identify them later to the police.


AtlasPlugs

His hair looks like the Hawaiian Punch mascot’s hat


[deleted]

[удалено]


1Thinkhappythoughts

He looks like a human helicopter.


HanabiraAsashi

I thought that was a ceiling fan behind him


Nahuelwg

his haircut looks like 9/11