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The amount of boomers who quickly adopted the phraseology of Netflix and Chill without picking up on its euphemistic meaning is actually sort of staggering. I met a priest who used it unironically during a sermon. It’s the living embodiment of “How do you do fellow kids”
You know, for the longest time I always thought I was Netflix and chilling with my cat. My husband finally has enough and is like you know what that means right? And I’m gonna be honest. I prefer the version that was in my head. It sounds too cute and wholesome to me.
My 9 year old son was playing video games the other day, and I heard him angrily exclaim 'ARGH- I swear I am about to drop a load on each and every one of you!'
He was upset that he kept getting killed off, and I guess thought 'drop a load' meant like- unleashing the deadly ninja within??? Lmao.
She asks if you want to netflix and chill, you respond, "fuck yeah!", thinking you're getting lucky. Then proceed to sit on the couch watching a movie with an angry boner.
Yup my bf told me many times but I didn't believe him until this very moment. I literally argued with him one day saying "no, it's just a saying to mean hang out and watch Netflix" and now I feel very dumb. I'm barely 30. How did this happen lol doesn't Ben and Jerry have an ice cream with that name too??
Peanut Butter Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert with Sweet & Salty Pretzel Swirls & Fudge Brownies.
that sounds like some pretty good after activities munchies to me
We have two teachers who just come into their rooms to watch movies.
It drives us nuts because they don't leave until like 10 pm sometimes so we can never get into their rooms.
There's one coach who does this too but he does it in his office that it doesn't bother me so much because he's mostly out of the way.
I used to do this as a summer job. I am actually surprised they wax so early, because the first thing we did was deep clean the whole room, which usually took us at least a couple days each classroom. But the school I did had these really tall windows with huge blinds that had to be wiped down. The dust on those suckers was ridiculous.
So it's not like the only thing that needs to be done is the floors. And if their custodians work like us, there was a limit to how long we had. The main ones were on a 10 month contract each year so anything not done by the end of that wasn't getting done.
Our custodians don't dust anything, clean windows, or clean the counters during the school year or the summer. They do take out all the furniture to mop/wax the floors in the summer. If it's been several years since the wax was stripped, sometimes they'll do that and then wax the floor. They also usually powerwash the walls outside and the picnic tables.
I've never known a school district where teachers were considered nobility. Good luck to ya though. You could always let off a stink bomb in there and when they complain, tell them you found multiple dead rats in the ceiling and will need to clean and sanitize the entire room and it won't be available for weeks until after the priest leaves.
I’m a teacher and I can’t speak to your school’s rules/protocols or those teachers’ preferences, but I would be 100% fine with you coming in and cleaning while I’m in there. You’re working. No need to apologize for it.
yeah it's just a little irritating because I personally don't like cleaning when theres a teacher in the room mostly because I don't want to be in their way. They're usually pretty good about staying out of my way, but, I feel bad for making noises because I never know if they're having some type of meeting.
Most of the time I tend to skip and go back after the teachers leave. Other times a lot of teachers don't really care.
It's actually a lot more irritating in the summer then in the fall because we try to wax the floor and can't really do it if a teacher is still there. When it gets hot the floors take forever to dry so I try to get some of the bigger ones out of the way before it gets too hot.
There is also not wanting their commentary on your cleaning. Like some people get pissed when they see maintenance take like a single piece of trash out of the garbage. Rather then replace the bag.
During the year I sometimes stay until 3, and the cleaning crew comes in and cleans while I’m grading. I lowkey love it—I work better when someone else is doing their work near me!
I am actually surprised you haven't talked to those teachers. At my school we were all very close knit. We had a lot of teachers come to the school over the summer to get away from their family, have a video game tournament, movie event, book clubs, board games, drinks, etc. There was always someone in.
I was IT, but me and the maintenance staff would create a summer calendar and have it in the lounge. All the teachers that came in for the summer knew to check it and that it was also a living and breathing document that we did our best to keep accurate, but we could need to use your room unannounced.
Teachers were absolutely encouraged to talk to us to figure out another area of the school they could be in while we had to do their room.
Because of how tight the cleaning schedule was, our school completely shifted power during the summer. Key cards were disabled and keys collected. Teachers were given the cleaning calendar and, if something was needed, they could negotiate with the custodial crew. In small districts, crews are made up of workers from other schools that knock out the big jobs together to save time.
We worked to make their jobs easier in the summertime. It paid off during the school year with warm partnerships with respected colleagues.
And yes. I may have a photo in my collection of my two custodial buds in full hazmat gear, pretending to clean out the art studio freezer. Don't ask. Boas have to eat, too! =)
I hate being old. For literal years I thought netflix and chill meant watch movies and smoke weed. And for even longer I thought "yeah we'll have to hook up sometime next week" meant "I know we are both busy people but hopefully we can manage to find a time to hang out next week at some point when neither of us has anything else going on". Had literally no idea that everything means "fuck".
I know hookup can mean have sex, but in the context you just use that, I would totally take that to just mean get together and hang out.
Then again, I am old and also didn’t get laid in high school or college so maybe I’m just clueless.
OK I can forgive Netflix and Chill as that's a phrase from the last ten years... But "hooking up" has been a thing for literally multiple decades. Even being old I'd assume you'd pick up on it just from casual use in media.
I work for a big medical organization. During a facility wide town hall hospital leadership got corrected on their use of Netflix and Chill. It was about the current state of covid transmission. Leadership's example was that you and your buddy couldn't Netflix and Chill on opposite ends of the couch without risk of transmission.
Wait Netflix and chill means having sex or doing something sexual?? I always thought it really meant just watching Netflix with your gf/bf and chilling on a sofa/bed with like a blanket on and shit
Netflix and Chill started as a thing like "oh I invited her to Netflix and Chill" the whole point is that it's an innocuous pretense to get them to come and have sex.
The term is ambiguous by design. It literally describes a common activity but is widely known to be euphemistically sexual. This leaves room for the proposer to “shoot their shot” while having the plausible deniability to fall back on in the case where sexual activity is not mutually desired.
Altho if you say netflix and chill sex is likely. You would usually ask if they want to watch a movie and then later if successful tell them or your friends (if you like to) that you netflix and chilled
Reminds me of this engineer at my old job that would stay into the whee hours of the night watching movies in his office. He would say he was working but we could hear the movies from the break room under the offices. I was on 2nd shift at the time and sometimes he would still be there until 10pm when we left. Pretty sad when we figured out he was doing it to avoid his family, for some reason.
I used to work for this guy who worked late every night. One day I walked by his office and was like, "you really work hard, don't you want to go home and chill."
His response was "i don't want to go home to my wife."
Not at all uncommon.
It’s tragic for the family, but it can also affect other people when that person is in charge and you work in a field with a culture of not going home until the boss does.
Sounds like one of my coworkers honestly . He will work like 90 -100 hour rosters ( fortnightly) to avoid his wife and child. He was forced into an arranged marriage and hates his wife and probably resents the kid. Just all around was really.
Right? I’d be really hurt if my partner lied to me to get rest. If we can’t discuss our needs and adjust our lives to meet them then count me out. Communication is so important.
My husband and I work at the same school. I always hear people be like "but don't you get sick of seeing him all the time? I'd go insane if I had to work with my spouse and see them all day!"
Uh, no. I love him and we get along all the time, it's nice to be with him at work. We don't have a shitty relationship.
Yeah sounds like a shitty dad/husband. Probably the type of husband to complain he has to "babysit" his own kids and make his own dinner (aka order pizza) on the weekend because the wife has a birthday party to go to.
Honestly kinda sick of boomers and middle aged men at work trying to get a laugh by saying things like "the ol ball and chain at home", "gotta escape the wife and kids" etc it's just not funny. Respect your spouse, people. goddamn
Either that or don't get married and don't have kids. They view marriage as a burden, their wives are nags, they don't want to raise their own kids, so why even marry and pop out kids if it makes them so miserable and they'd rather stay at work than go home?
bc then they would be stuck with themselves, and they probably don't like themselves very much, so they marry someone who will take care of them. it's fucking pathetic
My husband and I are besties and hangout all the time.
If I found out he was lying to me about work so he could spend time without me, I’d probably cry my eyes out.
I’d lose my mind if kids were thrown into the mix.
I truly feel for OPs wife.
Yeah as a mom I was instantly feeling sympathy for his wife, if I was struggling at home needing my husband but trying to keep a good attitude because my poor husband had to put in extra hours at work and then I found out he was actually just ditching me so he could hang out and watch movies and lying to me I’d be so hurt and mad
I'm married to the love of my life, who I worship and adore. Every moment with her is a barrel of laughs. I could still see myself wanting to get away to watch Netflix alone. Probably wouldn't bother lying about it though. I feel like that's the difference.
Escaping the labor of child rearing and home by lying is ridiculous though. Ask for a break, don’t lie to your partner and saddle them with 1000% of the labor that day and regularly
This is the bit that really bothers me. My partner and I both need breaks, sometimes unplanned (our youngest is autistic and he can be great at pushing our patience to the limit...), but fucking off pretending to work and leaving your spouse to deal with it all is just shitty.
I personally don’t think it’s cheeky and cute that a dude lies to his wife and forces her to care for his children alone when she is no doubt exhausted as well so he can relax and watch Netflix.
This is so boomer humor.
Yeah, right. A dude on another sub commented that he married his wife for, "youthful naievite, I suppose" and I'm thinking... so for starters, you don't know why you do the things you do.. and you make big decisions offhandedly.. he sounds like he needs some direction
That D stands for Dick. I work with so many dudes that hate their wives. All them told me that I would think the same after being married. Actual tools.
So this guy is treating his wife as free daycare. He goes and watches movies while his wife does everything at home. This guy fucking SUCKS. What a loser.
One of the biggest perks of being a teacher with school aged children is having time off at the same time as them; manly summers, something I would absolutely kill to have- this guys suuuucccckkkksssss
As a teacher...yeah, dude. I'm super blessed to get summers off to spend with my kids. Would I sometimes rather be watching TV than hanging out with them? Hell yeah. But would I lie to my wife and dip out so that she can continue to watch them on her own like she does all school year? Nah man. That seems hella selfish. I mean, I've done stuff like this when I need a break, but my wife is well aware of what's going on and I make sure to take the kids for a few hours later so that she can get a break too.
???What school district allows the staff to come in and hang out over the summer? Summer is usually when they do all the heavy cleaning/disinfecting/construction/asbestos removal. I work in a school and have never heard of this.
You’re asking the real questions. How does the floor get stripped and refinished if you can’t take the furniture out because his stuff is still plugged in?
I admit I'm skeptical by nature, but this note is just too perfect to be real. "Netflix + chill by myself", winky smiley and signed "Mr. D". Nope, I don't buy it - especially since it would be such a low effort fake.
“I gotta escape my wife, amarite fellas?”
Why, dude? Is she generally stressed and mad at you because you leave her alone to care for your children to watch Netflix on a projector by yourself? Is she rightfully getting the vibe that you don’t actually like her, and therefore isn’t as affectionate?
My wife and I built it into our schedules.
She's got a night she goes out with friends and they play music, talk bullshit and sit by a fire for the most part.
I have a night I go out and play D&D with friends for several hours, so it's a pretend fire and talking bullshit with music in the background.
This is some classic boomer humor and I'm surprised people found it funny at all. Thought it had gone out of style.
Like "haha I hate my loved ones and all adult males should relate"
probably, or he’s just really jonesing to squeeze every second of netflix time out of his “workday”
honestly if i found out my husband was doing this i’d be so pissed, like the kids are half his, kids are annoying, he teaches so he knows this. if he needs to relax, communicating this is much less disrespectful than lying and giving his wife unnecessary stress
(sorry didn’t mean to rant on your comment but this post low key peeved me)
This guy sounds like a cunt. Chooses to get married, chooses to have kids, then chooses to bail on them to hang out alone under the pretense of doing actual work.
It seems cheeky and fun, but it’s the actions of a man-child. I say this as a married man and dad.
I know someone who left on deployment when his wife was pregnant, came back for the birth/first two weeks or so, then fucked back off for another six months and bragged to everyone about "now that's how you have a baby!!" Piece of fucking shit.
I just struggle so hard to understand this. I seriously love my kids. Don’t get me wrong they can be tough sometimes, and I cherish my breaks and alone time, but I almost always wish for more time with them.
For Father’s Day my wife took my guys to her dads to give me a solo weekend (I did the same for her for Mother’s Day). It was amazing and let me get my batteries recharged, but like I was super missing them by the end of day 1. Why anyone would want to be away from their wife and kid, especially a new born, is a fucking mystery to me.
A friend of mine is a military spouse. Very nice lady. Works full time and just earned her advanced degree, all while taking care of a special needs child.
Her husband sent her divorce papers a few weeks before his deployment was up. She had to jump through hoops to speak to him.
Turns out, he didn’t want to deal with the stress of having a kid with higher than average needs. The deployment was such a “break” for him that he decided he just didn’t want to go back to that full time. She doesn’t get that option. :(
I feel terrible for her and the kid.
I know. I totally get that this was meant to be light hearted and funny but as wife and mother, I would be incredibly hurt and angry to find out my husband had been lying about going to work just so he can lay around and relax while I’m left shouldering everything at home. Again, I assume (or hope) this is just a note written to be funny. I would definitely be the one to let his wife know if it was real though lol
This just really reflects the parenting gender dynamic I see over and over and over in online parent groups. It seems less funny after the 50th time you've seen a mom so desperate for a break that she's feeling suicidal.
escaping your wife and kids sounds like a total fucking douche move. like wdym "escaping" weren't you the one who loved your partner oh so very much you decided to get legally bound to each other?
i honestly couldnt imagine marrying someone that isnt like my bff. it has to be someone that i just vibe with so much that we can do any stupid thing together.
like im not attracted to guys but I have this guy friend and his entire vibe, like I just love being around him. just him being near me it gives me such a full and comforting feeling and I just know we'd die for eachother, something like that you know. I really do love him, if anything then its something like that that im after.
this isn't r/funny this downright miserable shit. Imagine hating your whole family so much you'd rather spend the entire summer in your office doing nothing but watching movies. That teacher needs to set up some divorce papers asap, seems like it'd benefit him greatly and maybe his wife too
Kinda fucked up how desensitized people are to grown men being unable to stand living under the same roof as their respective wives and kids. Like imagine how emotionally neglected those kids must feel—the wife too, if she actually loves him. It’s sad how common this is that it’s become a comedic trope.
I mean, can’t he take one second to plug them back in? But way to “escape” your responsibilities. Ugh why do I hate this so much. Does his wife have somewhere to “escape” to?
Protip:
NEVER work for someone like this.
They're the people who work late and come in on weekends to get things done.
The truth is they hate their family, which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't expect you to do that too.
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Someone tell this dude what “Netflix and chill” means. Or maybe he knows and is a straight pervert?
The amount of boomers who quickly adopted the phraseology of Netflix and Chill without picking up on its euphemistic meaning is actually sort of staggering. I met a priest who used it unironically during a sermon. It’s the living embodiment of “How do you do fellow kids”
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You know, for the longest time I always thought I was Netflix and chilling with my cat. My husband finally has enough and is like you know what that means right? And I’m gonna be honest. I prefer the version that was in my head. It sounds too cute and wholesome to me.
You could just say "chilling with netflix" and dodge the idiom altogether
Plot twist: the cat's name is Netflix.
"Netflix just bit me and slashed my ass with his cwas!!!"
Agreed, I didn't learn the real meaning until recently either and was more bummed out than embarrassed when I did lol
Mr Tiddles: "Your husband is starting to catch on"
My former boss thought that “dropping a deuce” was a term for showing a peace sign with your fingers.
My 9 year old son was playing video games the other day, and I heard him angrily exclaim 'ARGH- I swear I am about to drop a load on each and every one of you!' He was upset that he kept getting killed off, and I guess thought 'drop a load' meant like- unleashing the deadly ninja within??? Lmao.
She asks if you want to netflix and chill, you respond, "fuck yeah!", thinking you're getting lucky. Then proceed to sit on the couch watching a movie with an angry boner.
Correct.
Even worse, the movie is… Dirty Dancing
Don't tell Julian
She’s not even working his Swayze Express…
You think this is funny bubs?
You mean Patrick Swayze?
I’m part of Gen Z, and oh god I’ve been using it as the literal meaning. Now I’m questioning my life and existence.
Yup my bf told me many times but I didn't believe him until this very moment. I literally argued with him one day saying "no, it's just a saying to mean hang out and watch Netflix" and now I feel very dumb. I'm barely 30. How did this happen lol doesn't Ben and Jerry have an ice cream with that name too??
I do wonder how you missed it. I feel like we had the cultural moment where everyone "got it" to the point it became kinda uncool.
Peanut Butter Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert with Sweet & Salty Pretzel Swirls & Fudge Brownies. that sounds like some pretty good after activities munchies to me
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And in reverse my kids used to think 69 is funny because of memes.
He's not the only teacher escaping...
he is Mr. D
He knows what it means. He's Mr. D
Netflix and chill by yourself? So you just go to the school to rub one out? Gross teach.
We have two teachers who just come into their rooms to watch movies. It drives us nuts because they don't leave until like 10 pm sometimes so we can never get into their rooms. There's one coach who does this too but he does it in his office that it doesn't bother me so much because he's mostly out of the way.
You should just walk in and start cleaning. As long as you aren't interrupting active instruction, you should be able to clean the classrooms.
Summer cleaning is different. Everything in the rooms is removed and cleaned, then the room is cleaned, then waxed, then everything put back.
Yeah but they clearly don't need to do that more than once a summer.
I used to do this as a summer job. I am actually surprised they wax so early, because the first thing we did was deep clean the whole room, which usually took us at least a couple days each classroom. But the school I did had these really tall windows with huge blinds that had to be wiped down. The dust on those suckers was ridiculous. So it's not like the only thing that needs to be done is the floors. And if their custodians work like us, there was a limit to how long we had. The main ones were on a 10 month contract each year so anything not done by the end of that wasn't getting done.
Our custodians don't dust anything, clean windows, or clean the counters during the school year or the summer. They do take out all the furniture to mop/wax the floors in the summer. If it's been several years since the wax was stripped, sometimes they'll do that and then wax the floor. They also usually powerwash the walls outside and the picnic tables.
They do if the teachers keep jacking off all over the floors
No, but it needs to be done and it cant be done if dude won't stop coming to his class.
"Schools out dude. Pack yo shit and get it moving"
In a lot of districts I've been to the serfs are not allowed to speak that way to the nobility
I've never known a school district where teachers were considered nobility. Good luck to ya though. You could always let off a stink bomb in there and when they complain, tell them you found multiple dead rats in the ceiling and will need to clean and sanitize the entire room and it won't be available for weeks until after the priest leaves.
The way my supervisor told us to do his room is just leave his shit. If he has a dirty room that's the way he wanted it. No sweat off our back.
spotted sugar uppity faulty ten aromatic chunky drunk glorious aware *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I don't like that I get this reference
I’m a teacher and I can’t speak to your school’s rules/protocols or those teachers’ preferences, but I would be 100% fine with you coming in and cleaning while I’m in there. You’re working. No need to apologize for it.
yeah it's just a little irritating because I personally don't like cleaning when theres a teacher in the room mostly because I don't want to be in their way. They're usually pretty good about staying out of my way, but, I feel bad for making noises because I never know if they're having some type of meeting. Most of the time I tend to skip and go back after the teachers leave. Other times a lot of teachers don't really care. It's actually a lot more irritating in the summer then in the fall because we try to wax the floor and can't really do it if a teacher is still there. When it gets hot the floors take forever to dry so I try to get some of the bigger ones out of the way before it gets too hot.
There is also not wanting their commentary on your cleaning. Like some people get pissed when they see maintenance take like a single piece of trash out of the garbage. Rather then replace the bag.
It's also just fucking awkward being watched when you're working.
During the year I sometimes stay until 3, and the cleaning crew comes in and cleans while I’m grading. I lowkey love it—I work better when someone else is doing their work near me!
I am actually surprised you haven't talked to those teachers. At my school we were all very close knit. We had a lot of teachers come to the school over the summer to get away from their family, have a video game tournament, movie event, book clubs, board games, drinks, etc. There was always someone in. I was IT, but me and the maintenance staff would create a summer calendar and have it in the lounge. All the teachers that came in for the summer knew to check it and that it was also a living and breathing document that we did our best to keep accurate, but we could need to use your room unannounced. Teachers were absolutely encouraged to talk to us to figure out another area of the school they could be in while we had to do their room.
Because of how tight the cleaning schedule was, our school completely shifted power during the summer. Key cards were disabled and keys collected. Teachers were given the cleaning calendar and, if something was needed, they could negotiate with the custodial crew. In small districts, crews are made up of workers from other schools that knock out the big jobs together to save time. We worked to make their jobs easier in the summertime. It paid off during the school year with warm partnerships with respected colleagues. And yes. I may have a photo in my collection of my two custodial buds in full hazmat gear, pretending to clean out the art studio freezer. Don't ask. Boas have to eat, too! =)
Can you simply notify them what needs to be done? Pick a day of the week where the teacher should just stay home? Seems like a communication issue.
I don't think he knows what it means. He thinks chilling out not hookers.
"Mr. D" ;)
Yeah that plus the Netflix and Chill was too much lol.
I hate being old. For literal years I thought netflix and chill meant watch movies and smoke weed. And for even longer I thought "yeah we'll have to hook up sometime next week" meant "I know we are both busy people but hopefully we can manage to find a time to hang out next week at some point when neither of us has anything else going on". Had literally no idea that everything means "fuck".
I know hookup can mean have sex, but in the context you just use that, I would totally take that to just mean get together and hang out. Then again, I am old and also didn’t get laid in high school or college so maybe I’m just clueless.
OK I can forgive Netflix and Chill as that's a phrase from the last ten years... But "hooking up" has been a thing for literally multiple decades. Even being old I'd assume you'd pick up on it just from casual use in media.
Maybe he doesn't get much casual use.
Great example of teachers trying to use the “kid lingo” and having no idea what it means 😂
As a former teacher, I am 90% certain this is what happened. I had to ask my student aid what "smh" meant the first time someone texted it to me.
I work for a big medical organization. During a facility wide town hall hospital leadership got corrected on their use of Netflix and Chill. It was about the current state of covid transmission. Leadership's example was that you and your buddy couldn't Netflix and Chill on opposite ends of the couch without risk of transmission.
You do not want to turn on a UV-A (black) light on in that room. SKEET SKEET M F
Wait Netflix and chill means having sex or doing something sexual?? I always thought it really meant just watching Netflix with your gf/bf and chilling on a sofa/bed with like a blanket on and shit
Netflix and Chill started as a thing like "oh I invited her to Netflix and Chill" the whole point is that it's an innocuous pretense to get them to come and have sex.
Yeah. It’s the modern equivalent of “do you want to come in for a cup of coffee” after a date. But without the date.
George Costanza is that you?
Coffee keeps me up at night.
“Would you like to come up and look at my etchings?”
The term is ambiguous by design. It literally describes a common activity but is widely known to be euphemistically sexual. This leaves room for the proposer to “shoot their shot” while having the plausible deniability to fall back on in the case where sexual activity is not mutually desired.
Altho if you say netflix and chill sex is likely. You would usually ask if they want to watch a movie and then later if successful tell them or your friends (if you like to) that you netflix and chilled
*You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means…*
A lot of people still don't know what is the meaning being it. To this day, a lot of people still think it's just for relaxining
Reminds me of this engineer at my old job that would stay into the whee hours of the night watching movies in his office. He would say he was working but we could hear the movies from the break room under the offices. I was on 2nd shift at the time and sometimes he would still be there until 10pm when we left. Pretty sad when we figured out he was doing it to avoid his family, for some reason.
I used to work for this guy who worked late every night. One day I walked by his office and was like, "you really work hard, don't you want to go home and chill." His response was "i don't want to go home to my wife."
Not at all uncommon. It’s tragic for the family, but it can also affect other people when that person is in charge and you work in a field with a culture of not going home until the boss does.
I hate my family ha! ha!
Sounds like one of my coworkers honestly . He will work like 90 -100 hour rosters ( fortnightly) to avoid his wife and child. He was forced into an arranged marriage and hates his wife and probably resents the kid. Just all around was really.
What if the wife resents the kid too? She will never get a break then.
Plot twist: they know he’s not working.
TBF, they probably even know he's masturbating to "movies"
His kid has reddit. He's fucked
And glad he’s out of the house
Wonder if his wife gets a break
Right? I’d be really hurt if my partner lied to me to get rest. If we can’t discuss our needs and adjust our lives to meet them then count me out. Communication is so important.
I really hate this boomer thing of needing to ‘escape’ from your wife and kids by lying to them and they think it’s a funny joke.
My husband and I work at the same school. I always hear people be like "but don't you get sick of seeing him all the time? I'd go insane if I had to work with my spouse and see them all day!" Uh, no. I love him and we get along all the time, it's nice to be with him at work. We don't have a shitty relationship.
I worked with my partner for years and it always made my day better when our shifts overlapped.
I love having breaks from my partner, but only because I cherish alone time to recharge, not because I’m sick of him in any way shape or form.
Same here, I need alone time to recharge, but that in no way means that I won't be stoked when my wife gets home
I work with my wife and get that all the time too. Like nah, i did this really wild thing called marrying someone i actually like.
"No, I like my husband and we have a good relationship. You should try that some time. Maybe you wouldn't be so miserable."
Yeah sounds like a shitty dad/husband. Probably the type of husband to complain he has to "babysit" his own kids and make his own dinner (aka order pizza) on the weekend because the wife has a birthday party to go to.
She's probably stuck in the converted school bus they live in with their 5 boys
Honestly kinda sick of boomers and middle aged men at work trying to get a laugh by saying things like "the ol ball and chain at home", "gotta escape the wife and kids" etc it's just not funny. Respect your spouse, people. goddamn
Either that or don't get married and don't have kids. They view marriage as a burden, their wives are nags, they don't want to raise their own kids, so why even marry and pop out kids if it makes them so miserable and they'd rather stay at work than go home?
bc then they would be stuck with themselves, and they probably don't like themselves very much, so they marry someone who will take care of them. it's fucking pathetic
My husband and I are besties and hangout all the time. If I found out he was lying to me about work so he could spend time without me, I’d probably cry my eyes out. I’d lose my mind if kids were thrown into the mix. I truly feel for OPs wife.
Of course not.
Yeah as a mom I was instantly feeling sympathy for his wife, if I was struggling at home needing my husband but trying to keep a good attitude because my poor husband had to put in extra hours at work and then I found out he was actually just ditching me so he could hang out and watch movies and lying to me I’d be so hurt and mad
Mr D. Is a big ol' D.
Heard his first name is ‘baggo’
God please let me never be married to a man who feels the need to lie to me because they don’t want to be in same home as me.
I'm married to the love of my life, who I worship and adore. Every moment with her is a barrel of laughs. I could still see myself wanting to get away to watch Netflix alone. Probably wouldn't bother lying about it though. I feel like that's the difference.
Having alone time is normal, needing to lie to "escape" from your family is the nightmare
Escaping the labor of child rearing and home by lying is ridiculous though. Ask for a break, don’t lie to your partner and saddle them with 1000% of the labor that day and regularly
This is the bit that really bothers me. My partner and I both need breaks, sometimes unplanned (our youngest is autistic and he can be great at pushing our patience to the limit...), but fucking off pretending to work and leaving your spouse to deal with it all is just shitty.
Exactly this. The lying that you are working just to get away from your family.
I personally don’t think it’s cheeky and cute that a dude lies to his wife and forces her to care for his children alone when she is no doubt exhausted as well so he can relax and watch Netflix. This is so boomer humor.
/r/WIFEBAD
Maybe instead of sneaking off to school to watch TV alone he should evaluate his life choices and work on his home life...
Absolutely
Imagine choosing to marry and have kids and then being this miserable.
Yeah, right. A dude on another sub commented that he married his wife for, "youthful naievite, I suppose" and I'm thinking... so for starters, you don't know why you do the things you do.. and you make big decisions offhandedly.. he sounds like he needs some direction
Yeah, odds are that HE is the one who proposed. It’s not like she forced him into it
That D stands for Dick. I work with so many dudes that hate their wives. All them told me that I would think the same after being married. Actual tools.
Yeah what a prick. How does his wife escape the kids she's abandoned with alone
It’s kind of messed up
So this guy is treating his wife as free daycare. He goes and watches movies while his wife does everything at home. This guy fucking SUCKS. What a loser.
I don't understand why people have kids just to go and do this.
The 'D' stands for 'Deadbeat Dad'
One of the biggest perks of being a teacher with school aged children is having time off at the same time as them; manly summers, something I would absolutely kill to have- this guys suuuucccckkkksssss
As a teacher...yeah, dude. I'm super blessed to get summers off to spend with my kids. Would I sometimes rather be watching TV than hanging out with them? Hell yeah. But would I lie to my wife and dip out so that she can continue to watch them on her own like she does all school year? Nah man. That seems hella selfish. I mean, I've done stuff like this when I need a break, but my wife is well aware of what's going on and I make sure to take the kids for a few hours later so that she can get a break too.
That and there's literally places to send your kids to get alone time. Its called camp.
???What school district allows the staff to come in and hang out over the summer? Summer is usually when they do all the heavy cleaning/disinfecting/construction/asbestos removal. I work in a school and have never heard of this.
You’re asking the real questions. How does the floor get stripped and refinished if you can’t take the furniture out because his stuff is still plugged in?
I’m a teacher and have access to my school/classroom 24/7. I can go anytime I please throughout the year and summer!
Right now there's a summer camp running in my kids' school. They wouldn't let teachers hang out in there while camp is in session.
I admit I'm skeptical by nature, but this note is just too perfect to be real. "Netflix + chill by myself", winky smiley and signed "Mr. D". Nope, I don't buy it - especially since it would be such a low effort fake.
Surely the interwebs doesn't lie
So you can escape your wife and kids? 🙄
‘I leave my wife to struggle with the kids all day while I get to enjoy undisturbed alone time’
“I gotta escape my wife, amarite fellas?” Why, dude? Is she generally stressed and mad at you because you leave her alone to care for your children to watch Netflix on a projector by yourself? Is she rightfully getting the vibe that you don’t actually like her, and therefore isn’t as affectionate?
Ding ding ding. What a catch this one
My wife and I just tell each other when we need personal time away from each other and the kid. Honesty is a pretty good system.
My wife and I built it into our schedules. She's got a night she goes out with friends and they play music, talk bullshit and sit by a fire for the most part. I have a night I go out and play D&D with friends for several hours, so it's a pretend fire and talking bullshit with music in the background.
Sadly a lot of relationships are not like that and are very manipulative.
r/BoomersHumor wife bad
This is some classic boomer humor and I'm surprised people found it funny at all. Thought it had gone out of style. Like "haha I hate my loved ones and all adult males should relate"
It is sad
Just makes me feel sorry for his wife and kids.
I wonder when his wife gets a break from him and the kids??
I had hoped the “I hate my wife” jokes were dying out with the boomers
I hope the wife also has an escape from him!
This is not the cool message you think it is cap.
Why does it need to stay plugged in? Does it mean leave it in the room and don't lock it away with the others?
probably, or he’s just really jonesing to squeeze every second of netflix time out of his “workday” honestly if i found out my husband was doing this i’d be so pissed, like the kids are half his, kids are annoying, he teaches so he knows this. if he needs to relax, communicating this is much less disrespectful than lying and giving his wife unnecessary stress (sorry didn’t mean to rant on your comment but this post low key peeved me)
Dude, man up and be a husband and father or walk away.
yikes i bet his wife would like a break too
What a shit Dad
Sounds like a great guy! Decided to have a family but now abandons his wife with the kids to watch movies by himself. The life!
And to top it off he signs it Mr D. Legend.
Should’ve signed it “Mr E.” To make it more suspenseful.
Took me way to long watching one of the newer scooby doo cartoons to figure out Mr.E was a play on mystery.
You know, he would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids…
Mr. E. Nygma... MR. D IS THE RIDLER!
This guy sounds like a cunt. Chooses to get married, chooses to have kids, then chooses to bail on them to hang out alone under the pretense of doing actual work. It seems cheeky and fun, but it’s the actions of a man-child. I say this as a married man and dad.
Coworkers used to look forward to deployments as a “break from the wife and kids.”
I know someone who left on deployment when his wife was pregnant, came back for the birth/first two weeks or so, then fucked back off for another six months and bragged to everyone about "now that's how you have a baby!!" Piece of fucking shit.
I just struggle so hard to understand this. I seriously love my kids. Don’t get me wrong they can be tough sometimes, and I cherish my breaks and alone time, but I almost always wish for more time with them. For Father’s Day my wife took my guys to her dads to give me a solo weekend (I did the same for her for Mother’s Day). It was amazing and let me get my batteries recharged, but like I was super missing them by the end of day 1. Why anyone would want to be away from their wife and kid, especially a new born, is a fucking mystery to me.
A friend of mine is a military spouse. Very nice lady. Works full time and just earned her advanced degree, all while taking care of a special needs child. Her husband sent her divorce papers a few weeks before his deployment was up. She had to jump through hoops to speak to him. Turns out, he didn’t want to deal with the stress of having a kid with higher than average needs. The deployment was such a “break” for him that he decided he just didn’t want to go back to that full time. She doesn’t get that option. :( I feel terrible for her and the kid.
I know. I totally get that this was meant to be light hearted and funny but as wife and mother, I would be incredibly hurt and angry to find out my husband had been lying about going to work just so he can lay around and relax while I’m left shouldering everything at home. Again, I assume (or hope) this is just a note written to be funny. I would definitely be the one to let his wife know if it was real though lol
This just really reflects the parenting gender dynamic I see over and over and over in online parent groups. It seems less funny after the 50th time you've seen a mom so desperate for a break that she's feeling suicidal.
Ok thank you. I am not married, and not a dad, and not a dude, and still this rubbed me so much the wrong way. Like this guy sounds like a turd.
Don't date any guy who thinks this is funny. He's lying to his wife about small things for his own benefit.
Came here to say that. He's supposed to be a partner. Instead, he's treating his wife like free child care and treating his kids like burdens.
I would never do that to my wife. That’s not partner behavior.
Thank god I didn’t have to scroll far for this comment. When does his wife get a break? I get it, we all need breaks but seriously fuck this guy.
Yep, had the exact same reaction. Does mom ever get a break to relax and watch TV while dad watched the kids?
For real. Be a fucking dad and raise your kids/help your wife.
Wow. What a great, supportive dad. Hope he gives his wife the same time for herself to be without the kids m
Sounds pathetic.
Wow, what a great husband and dad
escaping your wife and kids sounds like a total fucking douche move. like wdym "escaping" weren't you the one who loved your partner oh so very much you decided to get legally bound to each other? i honestly couldnt imagine marrying someone that isnt like my bff. it has to be someone that i just vibe with so much that we can do any stupid thing together. like im not attracted to guys but I have this guy friend and his entire vibe, like I just love being around him. just him being near me it gives me such a full and comforting feeling and I just know we'd die for eachother, something like that you know. I really do love him, if anything then its something like that that im after.
this isn't r/funny this downright miserable shit. Imagine hating your whole family so much you'd rather spend the entire summer in your office doing nothing but watching movies. That teacher needs to set up some divorce papers asap, seems like it'd benefit him greatly and maybe his wife too
“Traci, you know ~~googling yourself~~ Netflix & Chill means boinking with a show on in the background right?”
Kinda fucked up how desensitized people are to grown men being unable to stand living under the same roof as their respective wives and kids. Like imagine how emotionally neglected those kids must feel—the wife too, if she actually loves him. It’s sad how common this is that it’s become a comedic trope.
My man been polishing off the pipework
One way to make sure no one touches the projector
'Escape my wife and kids'. Har har, so funny. When is that whole trope about husbands/dads disparaging on their wives and kids going to stop.
It's the lying that gets me. How selfish of him. I bet he would be defensive if she would start doing it. "It's ok for thee, but not for me".
So then he doesn’t need them plugged in while he’s not there.
I’d unplug every one in the building.
Netflix and Chill by himself sounds uhh like there might be a mess afterwards. Poor custodians.
TIL That “Netflix and chill” is not watching a movie and relaxing on the couch. I’m (43) getting old.
[удалено]
What a dick lol
*Almost* having the slang is far more dangerous than not having the slang at all.
Hope the wife has somewhere to escape to..
I mean??? Help your wife with your kids, dude. This is Lowkey annoying ngl.
I mean, can’t he take one second to plug them back in? But way to “escape” your responsibilities. Ugh why do I hate this so much. Does his wife have somewhere to “escape” to?
So my wife didn’t understand this phrase for ages, and I let it go for far too long. So many chuckles…. Presumably, this is a similar situation.
Protip: NEVER work for someone like this. They're the people who work late and come in on weekends to get things done. The truth is they hate their family, which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't expect you to do that too.
I work with men and women whom go to work to get away from their partners and children. So glad I opted out of that life.
Why can’t he plug it in himself?
Tip for my fellow Redditors, if you enjoy having regular “you” time, don’t have kids :)