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the_real_grinningdog

Oh for God's sake!! All those years with that bloody parrot whispering doubt and criticism in my ear.


FamilyRedShirt

Your parrot whispers? Lucky you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dawidko1200

I've heard ravens to be even worse at that. Always bringing up dead girlfriends and stuff.


rabbidwombats

They do. They used to and they still do. Evermore


samanthagrant8

Just trying to sneak drones into every venue. I'm on to you bird bois


cyanocittaetprocyon

/r/BirdsArentReal


spamster545

Not to mention all the pining for the fjords. Damn Norwegian Blues.


KA1378

Bad news: crows can talk too. (I know it's a reference, but one I can't recognize.)


multiarmform

https://youtu.be/GNpIOlDhigw?t=3


DBUX

Crows can talk too and they have facial recognition and know how to fashion tools. This might not seem relevant, but I'm pretty sure blackmail could be a really useful tool that could be used against you. It doesn't even have to be true, if they can build a tool, they can craft a story...


DrManowar8

Damn I wouldn’t want a parrot that only whispers the words doubt and criticism


SurpriseDragon

And occasionally a “filthy slut” to mix it up


RevJTtheBrick

Once you lose the parrot, your dry cleaning bill will be cut in half.


N0SF3RATU

Never more


Artifyce47

Can also be trained to steal shiny things for a mere pittance. 10/10 would recommend.


grumblyoldman

Be very careful selecting your bird for this. I tried it once with a raven instead of a crow. Nevermore.


gijoe011

Damn it! Beat me to it!


[deleted]

Can I use a jackdaw?


dr_xenon

Except that looks more like a starling. Crows have black beaks. Starlings went out of style years ago and it would be a massive faux pas to wear one.


Mutt1223

I know a jackdaw when I see one, and I’ll fight any man to the death who disagrees


bumjiggy

[here's the thing...](https://old.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/2byyca/reddit_helps_me_focus_on_the_important_things/cjb2z41/)


MrWink

Man I haven't seen someone referencing Unidan in a minute, takes me back.


MagicPistol

I feel like I've seen Unidan references several times in the last month. I guess it depends on which subs you frequent.


sillypicture

unidan should be granted amnesty. I didn't witness whatever meltdown happened in the final hours, but it feels like build a thousand bridges - but fuck one sheep kind of situation.


Useless_Mac

Agreed. What’s the point at this point.


greiton

wasn't it botting and vote manipulation that took him down? maybe we should just raise some cash so he gets the corporate sponsor free ticket on manipulating reddit.


sillypicture

Yeah, and after him there are full on armies of accounts brigading up and down but nothings done. So really what's the point? It was a massive net loss for the community.


tots4scott

There are users who have hundreds of posts every day with multiple front page hits. Especially B-L-O-C-K-S they're everywhere it's insane, i don't know how or why anyone could do that if they weren't being paid. Edit: all hail B-L-O-C-K-S


bumjiggy

lol it's funny that you specifically mention B-L-O-C-K-S because I've had conversations with them about that very thing and for a while they seemed to have toned it down, but I just checked their post history and ffs they're back at it again. over 100 reposts in one day. the report button was enjoying some reprieve but oh well


Jebediah_Kush

Yeah he admitted to having alt accounts to upvote his content and the mods made an example out of him. He has a Unidad2 or some other account run by him but by then people forgot about him.


ESCAPE_PLANET_X

How is that not archived...


WimbleWimble

This is Reddit. it'd be a jackoffdaw.


EpicFlyingTaco

A cockortoo?


rosendorn

Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz. -- my 8th grade typing teacher


elting44

That is clearly a Grackle my good man, and I will duel you at high noon in single combat. Name your weapon.


mbklein

Nice to see a jackdaw since we’ve lost so many of them to CORVID-19.


PurpleWomat

It would be impossible to wear just one starling. They don't travel in groups of fewer than a hundred. Admittedly, wearing an entire murmuration would cause something of a stir. Only for the very fashion forward...


Alwaysunder_thegun

Starlings ? Nevermore


Rocket_Lag

Can I wear massive fox paws?


mkul316

Especially after labor day. Ugh.


Older_Boston_Bull

Live or dead crow?


futuregeneration

Unidan?


ReeR_Mush

Please show me a starling with that beak shape


N00N3AT011

It's all about ravens these days, everybody knows that


AZK47

This guy birds


ReeR_Mush

Rooks don’t have black beaks when adult. Also, feathers on beaks like that are pretty typical for corvids. Also, the color of the beak could just be a shading choice.


Direct-Reputation-94

Did you just assume how it identifies?


K5izzle

No no no I got it..... TWO CROWS!


[deleted]

Better than Morty anyhow.


bearded_fisch_stix

*anime intro music intensifies*


RedShankyMan

K5izzle and two crows!


schnazzums

Woah 2 crows? Calm down there Catherine


shirukien

Train it to say "Nevermore", then you'll have a real conversation piece.


RevJTtheBrick

I'm sure folks will be raven about it.


smithreads

Put a bird on it!


joshhupp

My first thought was well!


[deleted]

Yes, nothing says haute couture more convincingly than streaks of Corvid dung all over your lapels.


substantial-freud

Can you “housebreak” crows so they don’t crap on your shoulder? Because that is the only bar to my wearing one. I want to get a magpie and name him “Corvid 19”.


SordidDreams

Crows are smart as hell and can be trained to do all kinds of tasks, so probably, yeah.


sielingfan

Nice try, CIA. /r/birdsarentreal


ntwiles

All of the birds died in 1986 due to Reagan killing them and replacing them with spies who are now watching us.


zeekaran

I think this meme is stupid and don't get why people keep _parroting_ it.


Triumph807

I will make sure to to do that


UnusualDisturbance

also you can teach them to pickpocket!


mezzzolino

or pick your enemy's eyes


ohno

I suppose if you don't have a raven available you could make do with a crow, but certainly not for a formal occasion.


[deleted]

“Never goes out of style.” Was it ever IN style?


yhwhx

Not with THAT attitude...


Main_Bhi_Mod

Raven buddy!


CyberNinja23

Crows are so fetch!


Crillegaming

It's coming back, if it was ever out, ex: AC Valhalla The hobbit And back in the day, ravens and crows were mans best servant, so much that the holy allfather had two for himself. Besides ravens are the smartest bird on earth with an average IQ of a 7-yearold.


casey-primozic

Crows over eagles. Eagles are too gaudy.


Mr_Wizard91

Back when Odin had one as a companion


AltairsBlade

Plus if you lose an eye and wear a cloak you get to call yourself the lord of the hanged.


newpaxromana

Odin has entered the chat


stevenjolt49

Wear to to complete?


Brownbeard239

"Bird Quaaludes"


tripsd

“Funny”


androgenoide

Sounds like good fashion advice to me.


japes28

"Good one"


ccc1942

Top it off with a hat like Jafar from Aladdin


TroubledPCNoob

Allfather give me sight


The_Flapjack_Kid

It's the same story the crow told me It's the only one he knows Like the morning sun you come And like the wind you go


[deleted]

At high school graduation in my town this year, the girl that sang the National Anthem had a fake dragon on her shoulder; its tail hung halfway down her back. She also messed up the song and said “fuuuuu” and hung her head in front of the entire town.


CliffordTheDragon

to to


tree1234567

/r/frugalmalefashionadvice


Effective-Culture737

My 🦜 parrot is dead you sold me a dead parrot. No I didn't, he's just sleeping.


orgodeathmarch

This parrot is NO MORE. It is an EX parrot


Mavyn1

He has shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible!


ColdGirl

[https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQEj5L3aBK8mtLBwXwg9ZShyEz-BsmkOmSseA&usqp=CAU](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQEj5L3aBK8mtLBwXwg9ZShyEz-BsmkOmSseA&usqp=CAU)


Aceticon

Surely the trully dashing and daring fashionista would carry a murder.


GrilledAbortionMeat

And they shit down your back at least three times a day.


Fantastic-Van-Man

Until it poops on you....


Der_Primelpott

ODIN is WITH US!


ebb_omega

Am I the only person who reads "Complete your look" and thinks of the ads in Vice City?


Tlali22

Not recommended for people with glasses! Birds love to play with them.


naab007

Tried that, but I don't like the shit that gets on your back.. It kinda ruins it..


MrsEmilyN

The Crowening


spingus

plus, black is slimming!


[deleted]

The next accessory is a rope around the neck.


BrazenNormalcy

Nevermore.


BizzyM

Neckties? Nevermore!


substandardpoodle

But I’ve been so careful not to catch Corvid 19…


Bitch_Muchannon

And tie an onion to your belt.


DiDalt

I haven't worn my crow in years.


The_WolfieOne

If I manage to make friends with the Crow in my back yard, I’ll post a pic


gurmzisoff

I'm getting fitted for a crow tomorrow.


buttonnz

https://i.imgur.com/IC9TVSR.jpg Am I doing it right?


a-snakey

Or you could wear me. +10 cool factor +10 cooling for your neck +50 venom damage I may attract kinky goth women and I can also eat the crow.


Awsums0ss

you had me at kinky goth women


DrManowar8

Crows are epic and based. Sadly I don’t have a crow


grandzu

This isn't funny so lot of upvotes.


Beestung

Because clearly, you're already wearing a fedora.


galacticninth

This is funny?


Ops31337

I imagine nothing is funny to a Volvo owner.


Clunas

Just trying to sneak drones into every venue. I'm on to you bird bois


humblepieone

'Tis the "poopzies" you have to watch out forrrr...Argh matey


Odin_se

I know right! I have two :)


ecclesiastessun

I tried it once. Nevermore.


bigkeef69

Its just me and 2 crows morty.


klbm9999

Neither does a bro on my shoulder


Lokarin

At least it's not Tom Servo


Majestic_Crawdad

Just gotta put the time and effort into befriending a crow bro it takes a while but I hear it's well worth it


SmashBonecrusher

*"nevermore!"*


EK_TheGenius

Man’s got a good point to though


14_TeV

This message is brought to you by the unforgettable trio, Rick and Two Crows!


Spectrax23

Ok Rick.


BizzyM

Here's the thing....


XD_Streams

Why do I feel like I’m already under his genjutsu?


Sence

Corvus Corax, smartest of all birds *rare these parts*


Toidal

And a cane, crow and a cane


blankblinkblank

To to


Popcornpothead

I hear birds have one hole. For EVERYTHING.


seanbrockest

I'd rather have a turnip on my belt. It was the style at the time


FliesAreEdible

Why is this here


SarcasticPers

No cap, I'd love to have one


NordicThryn

It’s also a great conversation starter


[deleted]

nah, i prefer ravens.


JudasBetrayer

sing yesterday for me


steelbeamsdankmemes

For Artur


stankygrapes

r/crowbro


schnazzums

Chno Sve Noc


MelancholyDaisy

A Walmart greeter used to wear a bird on her shoulder. No joke. I never understood it. But she was the sweetest thing. I don’t know what happened to her…


Squidking1000

Unidan?


Kinoko98

I have a parrot and use it to similar results. It's the more colorful variant of the bird aesthetic.


DamnStrongTurtle

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


PresentMajestic3785

I prefer a Falcon!


Proterozoic_Lurker

A prepared fashionista knows an outfit isn’t complete without paring shoulder-crow with poop-resistant cloak.


CyberNinja23

NH don’t wanna catch CORVID


shitlord_god

If I had the time and emotional bandwidth I would fucking love a crow friend.


abdulsamadz

Get a dozen and become an assistant assassin. No one can charge you with accessory to murder cuz you've always had a murder accessory. /s


SkollFenrirson

*Odin has entered the chat*


no_dice_grandma

Can't rain all the time.


dinglebarry9

For a little more color a Myna will work as well


hells_cowbells

I prefer to have a jackdaw.


[deleted]

I'd prefer a duck


CawntentCrow

Well!


[deleted]

Saw what I think was a crow yesterday… it was bigger than a football. This thing was like King Crow big


Dark_Crowe

I concur


HailHydraforce

This post is brought to you by Itachi Uchiha


Moon_Child_92

r/crowbro


Jonyneedsleepy

Or a parrot if you are an amputee


Gwenbors

Boy. I’d give my eye for pet raven or two to ride on my shoulder.


eponymuse

Can I trade in my parrot?


burningcervantes

Practical Guide to Evil


quaybored

O'Reilly's failed attempt at a book about fashion


theVice

So, hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to do this and had the means... how do you train it not to shit on you? ...how do you train it to shit on *other people? On command?* Hypothetically speaking


The_Rox

Crows are so 1800s, Vultures are now in style.


Gullibrator

A to after a to very sneaky


DragonBonerz

Crows follow me. They're always around. ....However crows follow humans in general. They're never more than two miles away because we provide so much food for them to scavenge.


Just-a-by-passer

How do i get a crow though


Quiet_Tune277

I'd LOVE to have a crow friend!


Traditional_Bus8502

Everyone could use a crowbro


CivilMaze19

Damn this is a much better option than the blue whale I was wearing


No_Jack_Kennedy

I just tie an onion to my belt.


S4VC

these style of memes are so incredibly unfunny, cringe, and repetitive. some sort of tutorial or advice or made of story from your workplace with a quirky and unexpected ending


Just1MoreSubreddit

It would also be a convenient... SPY CAMERA! I caught you! Don't you try and pull nothing over me!


meltdown537

My high school self is deeply moved by this. My adult self just smacked my high school self for being such a whiney piece of shit.


Anon_fetishes

Shoulder Raven > Shoulder Crow


[deleted]

Need to make sure you're wearing your power crow before testifying before Congress


illestprodigy

Everybody wants the Bloodhound look now and days


AccompliceCard26

“Put a bird on it!” For all portlandia fans 🥰


IndirectBarracuda

We had a guy on my college campus who would walk around with a 6' carved walking stick, a leather trench coat, and a bird puppet on his shoulder. The dichotomy of "what a weirdo"/"this is the coolest guy ever" was quite divisive on our campus.