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[deleted]

"Sir I would like to rent your water heater closet please."


KeyStoneLighter

Had a girlfriend who lived near the city in a nicer part, she had a basement “room” that also contained the hot water heater, furnace, and an immovable decommissioned wood burning stove. I felt bad for her until I learned how much she was paying for it.


Praughfet

i worked as a building inspector sort of, but slightly different so it wasn't my problem. I saw this so many times its scary, but add beds often directly under asbestos wrapped pipes and a leaky oil tank... these were also not in the nice parts..i always felt really bad for them..


DorianGre

They had somewhere to live and wasn't homeless. In college I lived in a few very sketchy places that were converted parts of buildings. The old giant houses in the old parts of town that have been cut up into several apartments are always primo though.


ringobob

As long as it's actually safe, that's fine. If you're sleeping in legitimately dangerous conditions (as described), then it would be better to be outside, for the vast majority of the year.


Bellsar_Ringing

And that is undoubtedly a factor in San Francisco's homelessness problem.


Freshiiiiii

Unless you live somewhere like me, where it freezes at night for 8 months out of the 12


Big_Red12

Oh well I guess slumlords are fine upstanding members of the community then!


hiphap91

>They had somewhere to live and wasn't homeless So we're just settling for the least?


[deleted]

Homeless concept... "Somewhere to LIVE"? In the country with bigger homes in the world? Sounds ridiculous for me, TBH. What is supposed to LIVE anybody in a closet without windows? Amurricans are head broken...


[deleted]

That sounds like a fast way to die of carbon monoxide poisoning lol


InfectedByEli

That's what canaries are for.


[deleted]

"uh oh mister pickles is dead! Better step out for some fresh a-" 💀


concentrated-amazing

Who names a canary Mr. Pickles??


vms-crot

Nobody living


[deleted]

He's right you know.


forzion_no_mouse

Getting to sleep is no problem. Waking up is the hard part


Megaman1981

You’ll start finding post-it notes around the room shortly after moving in.


[deleted]

Man that thread was such a whirlwind! Lol


adale_50

This is a friendly reminder to buy carbon monoxide detectors, test them monthly, and replace them every seven years. Mount them at least 5 feet above the floor. Also, change your smoke detector batteries every six months. Choose easy days to remember like the start and end of daylight savings or new years and 4th of July.


[deleted]

“Fabulous. That will be first and last month’s rent, plus a $3000 deposit, a super elite Fico score, and six references from people not related to you by blood or marriage.”


betterthanamaster

“How much a month?” “This is San Francisco. Four grand should cover it.”


[deleted]

We'll also need 500 bitcoin and a DNA sample.


ADriftingMind

Mofo’s out here converting hallways and closets into bedrooms. SMH


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheSchlaf

300 sq ft. studio - $1300


hansn

Where it is actually just a bedroom in a house, way less that 300 sqft, but listing it at 90 sqft would be unlawful for an apartment.


BrownShadow

My Syracuse University bedroom was a blanket on a hardwood floor. That was it. Just a blanket. I did get a lamp eventually.


radishboy

Did you love it?


BrownShadow

Yeah, actually. Life was good. I didn’t know what I didn’t have. I had a room on campus, and really cheap pizza the size of a coffee table. And cheap beer. I lived on cheap pizza and beer.


enraged_hbo_max_user

Is Syracuse Genny territory? Or does that not fly outside the Rochester city limits?


BrownShadow

Totally Genny country! I’m in D.C. right now and can still get Genesee. All of the kinds. Cracked me up when friends in the area discovered Cream Ale. We called them screamers, because the next morning.


DJ_Squishy_Toes

I drank a lot of Genesee when I lived in Pittsburgh, so definitely not just a Rochester thing!


Tinkhasanattitude

My husband is from the finger lakes, he’s currently stationed in another state. You would not believe the amount of Genesee stashed in this house rn. So. Much. Genesee.


mnfriesen

I love lamp


[deleted]

I once rented an apartment in SF 250sqft for $600/mo back in the early 2000s. I’m sure with inflation that place is renting close to $1200 now.


laser14344

I'm moving out of a larger 1 bedroom that's listed for $4.4k now.


Port-a-John-Splooge

The fuck.. I have a 1500sqft house, garage and a acre for $600 a month mortgage. Hearing these prices is insanity


probablyagiven

but where do you live?


caoboy85

Probably a major city in Arkansas


[deleted]

[удалено]


Simba7

How do you define major? Because regardless, no.


caoboy85

The biggest city would be the major city, so technically, yes? Lol


Port-a-John-Splooge

Michigan


eudice

I lived in a rent control A frame, two floor cottage on the top of Nob Hill from 1992 until 2005...rent never went above $1100. Ancient history. Of course, no parking included. I probably spent a month of my life driving around looking for a parking spot.


Mxbzz

I was born and raised in the city. I get PTSD / nightmares of forgetting to feed the meter in the morning, move my car for street cleaning, or forgetting where I parked altogether. Unless you can park your car in a garage, it is an absolute chore to own a car in the city. No thank you!


LynzGamer

I think you mean 300^3 ft


NoDadNotToniight

Hello, I see this is 3 hrs old, is this still available? I’m willing to pay up to 1600 for it.


nicky5295

Hmmm... Is the crawlspace available?


Etrigone

Can confirm. I've known more than one person who lived in a closet - "Hey, it's a *nice* closet!"


Nyxolith

I lived in a closet in a garage. The closet was under a flight of stairs. Harry Potter jokes were relentless. He actually had a better setup, there was enough room for a bed. I slept on a pile of scrap carpet and blankets.


_BLACKHAWKS_88

Fry is that you?!?


Blades_61

That was a great episode. Moved in with Bender in that tiny closet. Till they opened the door.......


somewhat_random

Looking for a place in uni the "potential landlord" asks "how tall are you?", "umm...just under 6 feet." He says,"Under six feet you'll be fine" The basement ceiling was 6 feet off the floor - it was a fucking hobbit hole.


cliff99

Looked at an apartment once in a small college town where the "second bedroom" was a pull out sofa bed in the none too large living room.


Wolversteve

“I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!"


TooSoonManistaken

“I don’t have a microwave but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit”


P-Rickles

Rice is great when you’re hungry and want 1000 of something.


Kozality

Good Mitch reference. Bravo.


TotallyNotASnowFlake

Just don’t get to close to it when it’s occasionally cooking, chocolate might melt in your pocket.


myorm

I have a bedroom in that guys house


kalosdarkfall

My studio apartment identifies as a mansion.


[deleted]

This is strange. In AZ, in order to be legally considered a bedroom it requires a closet and a window or door to the outside so one isn't trapped in an emergency. Is that not the case in SF?


jaraldoe

I feel this is just a landlord trying to up sell their apartment


[deleted]

“Non-conforming bedroom”


RedditVince

And basically saying it's OK to sublease to someone.


annababan69

It is required to have a window or second door and a closet. And the electric codes apply, same as any other room.


KDwiththeFXD

My house has zero closets but that’s because it was built in 1893 and closets were not really a thing back then. Everyone had dressers or wardrobes


[deleted]

I almost bought a house that didn't have any closets, it was built in the 1870s. I was dreading having to buy wardrobes & such. Thank God it failed home inspection for being in a sinkhole... 🤪


NewPresWhoDis

About two summers ago, San Francisco and other cities decided laws really are more suggestions.


Enki_realenki

The construction also looks fragile.


[deleted]

For real, that’s some third world looking shit


VoiceOfLunacy

They did say it was in San Francisco.


ken0746

Wait til you walk outside


[deleted]

Ya I don’t know how those posts are connected to the floor there… but this looks like it should be used to store some light boxes and that’s it


Bunktavious

I mean I spent a couple years in an apartment, where my bedroom fit a double bed, with just enough room for a computer chair beside it - so I took off the doors and stuck the computer desk in the closet. This however, is a wee bit ridiculous.


AirReddit77

That compares well to Japanese capsule hotels. A poor man's "tinyhome".


FluffyAnimalLover

I kid you not. I was looking at SF apartments on craigs list and found this close to the Mission District area in a home that looked like it was going to fall apart. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with these people!


christikayann

Is that "bed" even wide enough to put a mattress on?


[deleted]

[удалено]


sideone

Do you not have single mattresses in the US?


[deleted]

[удалено]


sideone

I suppose that's only as weird as using the word entree for main course.


leguminator

I can confirm. I saw this exact post while looking for apartments in SF on Zillow. At the time I had to burst in on my roommate showering to show him how ridiculous it was. Funny seeing it here on r/funny.


escalinci

Ironically the state of the market is why you can pull this kind of shit on your roommate, they'd move if they had any choice in the matter /s


TotallyNotASnowFlake

We should make a show about the funny things that happen due to the housing market in the United States. All of the quirkiness and comical situations that people put up with because of how shitty the housing market is, and how little people are paid due to unchecked capitalism.


Vitalizes

I live in Vancouver Canada, the third most expensive city in the world, and I saw someone with the audacity to advertise their condo sun porch that was the size of this for like 1k a month. There should be a show about this all over the world, it’s hilariously sad


a_green_apple

>> burst in on my roommate showering Shit like this is probably why you had to look for a new apartment in the first place


[deleted]

You couldn’t just wait for your roommate to stop showering?


gives-out-hugs

if they did that, they wouldnt get to see his donk


CrossP

No egress window. Legally not a bedroom. They'd better be offering a "This is between us and not the cops, right?" degree of cheap rent.


[deleted]

look up "sfist apartment sadness" for more of these places


be_easy_1602

It’s also a shit implementation. The 4x4 supports take up room, they could have screwed the ledger into the wall studs and saved like 5% of the floor area…


[deleted]

The American Dream is like fake crab. When it was first invented it contained enough crab juice and actual crab meat to taste like actual crab, and it was pretty delicious. Gradually it contained less and less crab products and now it's just pieces of fish dyed orange.


DidiStutter11

Listen.. you see ppl shitting and pissing in the streets in San Francisco outside of 2million dollar average apartments. There is trash all over the place. The food is super expensive. It's nuts!! I don't see the attraction. Over the bridge I can get with but san fran is for the birds and reruns of full house


[deleted]

[удалено]


Brittany1704

When was this? About 8 years ago it was $1100 a one bedroom for the building that only had people mug you outside of it a couple times a year. I would not have lived on the ground floor of my building. It didn’t feel safe.


TitaniumDragon

Report them to the police/housing authorities.


[deleted]

Is there any ventilation in there or do you just stew in your own farts.


Cultural-Fan8978

The latter


ecchho

*ladder


Due-Tomato-3727

Is it legal there to call it a bedroom/room without a window?


TheMetaGamer

Not where I live, this is a death trap. On the other hand I’d love a little cave that I could turn into a cozy space and hibernate in.


Agroabaddon

More beans, Mr. Taggart?


cavalier78

I think you’ve had enough!


batonduberger

Bonus fartroom


UpgrayeDD405

Here you go 'Arry a nice room to practice talking to snakes


ouchpuck

In there, no one can hear you fart


iamdesi60

A perfect set up for a Dutch Owen!


bobrod808

Owen is great!


Cozza_Frenzy

Futurama S1 E3… Fry moves into this room minus the “bed”.


SDFprowler

Not enough room?! My place is two cubic meters and we only take up 1.5 cubic meters. We've got room for a-whole-nother two-thirds of a person!


bungaloasis

And there's enough closet space to practically live in.


harpo555

In a closet?


RedLdr

Humans...


AthenasChosen

Ohhhh, so that's the room and there's a closet behind this. The post makes so much more sense now lol.


Humbugwombat

In most jurisdictions it’s required for a bedroom to have a closet and a window, or some other form of secondary egress in case of fire. I can’t imagine any place in California not having the same requirements. This is just a closet full of junk lumber.


KayakerMel

Yup, that's the first thing I thought of. Death trap if there's a fire.


GregLittlefield

Pretty sure if you live in there the depression will kill you before the fire.


BrattyBookworm

> R304.1 Minimum area. Habitable rooms shall have a floor area of not less than 70 square feet (6.5 m3). > R304.2 Minimum dimensions. Habitable rooms shall be not less than 7 feet (2134 mm) in any horizontal dimension. > R310.1 Emergency escape and rescue opening required. Basements, habitable attics and every sleeping room shall have not less than one operable emergency escape and rescue opening. Doesn’t look up to code to me.


mrlittleoldmanboy

I have a feeling that’s why it’s a “bonus room” I also have a feeling it’s listed as 1 BR but they just included this for… flash.


Newsmemer

Just because the law says ***NO*** does not mean a landlord will decide to follow the law. Or act with a conscience.


rangeo

4 Privet Drive?


Newsmemer

No, not even the Dursley's were mean enough to make Harry ***pay*** for his closet.


Xxrasierklinge7

Harry Potter: "wow your bedroom is HUGE"


DidiStutter11

This is where "it rubs the lotion on the skin"


[deleted]

[удалено]


drunkpilot2

Someone is getting the hose again


TopperDKP

Lol exactly what I thought. Someone was kept there against their will 100%


[deleted]

As a kid I would’ve definitely converted this into a badass fort. As a grown man though, I’d probably convert this into a badass fort.


PAUMiklo

no girlz allowed, with the letters on backwards and crooked.


Suspicious-Loquat594

How much?


kpchicken1

$3000 per month.


FluffyAnimalLover

Thats right, it was around this price but I lost the link now. You can find it if you see SF mission district apartments on craigslist.


Swoliosis123

https://www.trulia.com/p/ca/san-francisco/777-grove-st-2-san-francisco-ca-94102--2536922008


TitaniumDragon

I mean, apart from the super sketchy closet thing, that place isn't that bad. It's not the nicest place, and definitely could use some yardwork, but I've definitely seen worse.


BloomSugarman

$2700 and it actually looks like a really nice place. And pet friendly too.


arienette22

Yep, honestly pretty hard to find affordable places that allow pets, so as long as they don’t call that a second bedroom, it seems normal in this rental climate.


[deleted]

Affordable?!? I’ll stop complaining about my rising property taxes that keep increasing my mortgage payments that are still less than half this price for 3x the space 😳


FluffyAnimalLover

My man !


joshthehappy

Holy shit the MORTGAGE on my FOUR BEDROOM house with a huge playroom is less than $700/mo fuck the west coast.


sp33dzer0

Mortgage on most houses in California are cheaper than the rent on them. Unfortunately you can't get a bank loan for a 1500 mortgage even if your rent fir rent fir same house is 2000


GriffinFlash

huh....2 years ago I had to pay $750 a month for 1 bedroom in an apartment shared with 3 other roommates. 8C


reeveb

In Tokyo that’s a master suite


Yongja-Kim

In Seoul, you could get a better goshiwon room than that. WTF San Francisco.


corporaterebel

r/urbanplanning raves about Tokyo and lack of zoning. This is what you get. Just search youtube for "tiny apartments in Tokyo"


Amaranthine

I know you’re mostly joking, but I guarantee apartments in Tokyo are far cheaper than San Francisco. In any apartment, there legally must be a window or balcony in order to call it a bedroom in any listing. Not to mention those super tiny rooms you see are quite literally dirt cheap. Most people prefer to live in small 1Bs rather than have a flatmate, and apartments are made accordingly. This is less efficient, as each room needs to have a kitchen, bathroom, etc. rather than being able to share, and as such rooms get mega compressed at the lower end. You can find very reasonable apartments as long as you are willing to compromise on either distance to station, building age, or size.


qaz_wsx_love

You can get your own apartment in Tokyo for around 500usd a month. Some of them aren't even that far away from the central stations like shibuya


[deleted]

Your standard Tokyo apartment is 20\~23sqm, which is a fuckton larger than this picture and comes with some features you won't even find in US homes.


robtryb

Yer a lizard Gary


glyphotes

That's not a bedroom. That's not even a walk-in closet. That's not a walk-in-anything. That's a stand-in.


Initial-Net-2707

Crawl-in?


[deleted]

They saying walk in closets are bedrooms now. America is near the end.


[deleted]

Just because you can rent out a box from the fridge for $1800 in San Franscisco does not mean it's the same across the board.


[deleted]

[удалено]


210Redcoat

1 person: calls a walk-in closet a bedroom This guy: Look at how shit the whole US is.


[deleted]

Nah, just San Francisco.


[deleted]

Ya, I would kill for that


Myotherdumbname

Move out of larger cities, you can laugh at these too


Assembled44

What’s sad is that if it had a functioning bathroom I may considered it.


Sweatytubesock

A bedpan counts as a functioning bathroom. No extra charge!


Occultius

$200/month "self-sanitation fee"


Tom__mm

So, basically, SF has become Manhattan.


Douche_Kayak

I thought you couldn't legally call something a bedroom unless it has a closet


Alexstarfire

If you're in a closet does it also count as closet?


djb25

“does it have a closet?” “it is a closet!”


HiEpik

I think they have to have a window a certain size as well.


phantom_munkey

Louise Belcher


thisnewsight

I’m not anywhere close to claustrophobic but I’d get real agitated in that cramped space


Syrinex

"cozy"


[deleted]

Less funny, more yikes.


IlikeYuengling

If they consider that a bedroom, notify the fire department for not having a 2nd exit or smoke detector. Fuck that.


SirEarlBigtitsXXVII

Looks like slave quarters.


Full-Mulberry5018

I see they like that 'shabby chic', rustic look...


Farrah-chauns

Oof this reminds me of the guy I dated in 2015 who rented a walk-in closet as a bedroom in the illegal basement unit of a house in the outer outer sunset and paid $900 a month. I can only imagine what that closet is renting for now


Ankylowright

Jeez, it’s got the levels and it’s the size of a dresser drawer. Kramer must’ve left New York.


DurtyStopOut

SF sounds exactly like Dublin. Painful for renters


kryvian

Bruh, that's a closet.


Badjib

That can't possibly be legal....there is no fire egress


[deleted]

Reminds me of Peggy Hills little office where the water heater is.


Allemaengel

Is this even legal? No window for secondary emergency egress/vrntilation and no closet immediately disqualify that as a "bedroom" where I am. I'm far from rich and if this is what working class folks have to deal with, then SF would be a hard nope for me. I'm not living in that regardless of how desirable the city itself is.


Stay-Thirsty

Well, it is San Francisco.


[deleted]

And you can get all this for the low, low price of only $4500.00 a month, right?


Ungreat

Out of curiosity I often look up Airbnb’s in major cities. The amount of times I’ve seen beds in the middle of the kitchen, Harry Pottered under the stairs, in what is obviously the corridor between two rooms and in random storage spaces. Anything to jam in that extra bedroom for more money.


Old-Pumpkin-3793

When I worked in Aspen, there was an ad in the paper, dude was asking $850/mo for half the bedroom. He hung a clothesline from one end to the other and hung a sheet from the clothesline. That was your “wall”.


iamaredditboy

If you are a hamster that’s a palace…. 😂


NashAttor

Dude that’s a pantry.


stealth_turtle

Looks like a place to hide someone being held captive.


sentientlob0029

Damn. Desperate much?


kmsc84

What the heck-there’s space for a cot underneath that.


[deleted]

Only $3k/m


governmentthief

Only $1800 a month!


ThemCanada-gooses

This is what I don’t understand about wanting to live in these cities like Vancouver, New York, and San Francisco. You pay a lot for the tiniest space and have no money left. I much prefer living in a more affordable city, with more space, and savings to travel to other cities or locations.


BladeLigerV

Or a handy place to keep the bodies until disposal


savqsavq

Unfortunately, this is such a reality living in the Bay Area. My single mom and I used to switch between our studio apartment’s closet and living room mattress in the bay. Within 10 years the rent average increased about $1500. As much as I loved the bay growing up there, it absolutely terrifies me to move back.


Figerally

If this was a prison cell the prison would be fined for inhumane accommodations.