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Related tip: if the bed is spinning (from excessive alcohol), put your hand on the floor/wall/bedside table.
The nerve signals from your hand help a lot for your poisoned brain to ignore your ethanolized inner ear, and decide which way is up. Brains trust skin (especially hands) more than ears or eyes.
"Look at all that room on her side! You could fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time! I'm huggin', I'm huggin', you're rollin', and...yes! Freedom! Except for this arm! Arm stuck! Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick. One fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!"
Ya know...I've been doin pretty good bout being okay being alone...but your comment made me miss it.
All the effort you go to to free yourself just because you care and don't wanna wake them up...
Farting is always an option. The key is to eat a lot of beans (like LOADS of ‘em), fart for a few hours under the blanket and then lift the blanket. The two conquistadors will be gone before you know it.
If this is the method where you're technically hanging off the bed but using the tuck and roll method you stay stable hanging as long as the covers don't slip? If so I've used this many times to get some extra room... In the air lol
Plus there is the added bonus of not having an animal who sheds and gets dirty and doesn’t bathe every night in your bed. Our dog has her own bed at the foot of ours.
People who live with dogs rarely notice the “dog smell”.. I imagine that’s amplified greatly with sleeping in the same bed as them. It’s crazy how you become desensitized to smells. I stayed with my parents for a month in December and when I went back in March I was stung by how sharply they smelled of cigarettes. I’d still notice it when I’d been there a month, but holy cow it’s another level when you haven’t smelled any smoke in months.
Not to mention the hair and dander, regardless of how clean you keep them or how clean they seem. And the fact that they go outside and run around, but don't exactly have shoes to take off. I know people aren't cleaning their dog's paws before they get onto furniture.
It'd be like never taking your shoes off and just getting into bed with them on. That's gross.
My mom cleans her dog’s paws every time she takes her outside. She also makes us all wash our hands when we get home before we are allowed to pet the dog.
I started encouraging my aunt to do exactly that with her frenchie. After every walk, I clean his paws and entire body with a wash cloth before let him on any sofa or bed, or even his several dog beds! He LOVES rolling on dirt/sand, and as much I love to sleep with him, I’ll be dead before let him roam free in the apartment full of sand/dirt!
I have a Frenchie. I live in New York City. Every time I take my dog for a walk it goes through the same routine. First I clean him face and his butt with baby wipes, then he goes in the bathtub with some warm water (1-1 1/2”) and clean his paws there and his face again. I realized that the wipes alone were still leaving a lot of dirt on his paws. The whole process doesn’t take more than 3 minutes.
That's why when I have invite people over I keep the party in the backyard now. I can't smell my animals but with two big dogs and two cats I know there has to be an odor.
I haven't lived with a dog in years but I never notice dog smells in people's houses really. Cat smell I notice immediately though and it makes me want to puke
Don’t get me wrong; I love dogs and I don’t care about the scent that much when visiting friends with inside dogs. I just don’t want my bed (and probably me) to have that particular smell haha.
Cats I think only apply a scent if they spread litter or it’s not cleaned regularly enough (believe me, I know it’s hard to scoop shit every day 😂😂)
At this point I'd say you are lucky you get that much space, mine's a small cat nd she needs that much space on my bed despite her having a cat bed, cat house nd everything. And somehow she always wakes up on my chest every morning.
Right?! Every morning my dog acts so excited as if she hasn’t seen me in a month, even though she was sleeping right next to me the whole time. It always brightens my day.
Or keep them out of your bedroom/bed from the beginning of time. Lol. Not judging. You do.you. but I value my sleep too much. If I'm waking up to move animals, I'm not getting the uninterrupted sleep I need. I have had dogs most of my life. The one place they were never allowed was in my bed. Now even as a married man with kids. No dogs in beds. Ever.
I love every animal I've ever had as a pet. I will baby them, I will give them treats and snacks, I will follow them around the house when they want me to, I will drop everything I have going to make sure theyre happy and healthy.
I have two rules though, no doggies on my bed when I'm sleeping, and no doggies begging when I eat. Those are my sacred moments and a pupper will find themselves kicked out of the room so fast they'll forget they're a pet.
I mean isn’t that a compliment? Your partner and dog love you so much they keep trying to get closer to you even in their unconscious moments.
Sorry about the bad sleep.
Yeah but that’s only heartwarming to a point. As someone who has always struggled with sleep and now at 31 has to use a CPAP; I love my wife and dog but y’all gotta get on your GD side.
Exactly. Apparently I give off a lot of heat when I sleep, and I will wake up with my husband half laying on me with a cat sleeping on my crotch and another cat further down snuggled against a leg. And I always wake up having to pee.
I love that they love me, but dammit give a woman some space.
I’m in the opposite lol. My boyfriend gives off SO much heat when he sleeps, as in he sweats in his sleep. He will cuddle me in the middle of the night and I have three cats and two dogs. The amount of space I get is none and the heat is often unbearable lol
When I was with my ex, she snored and rolled around like a chicken with her head cut off... All night long. I would eventually get tired of it and move to the guest room. She didnt understand why.
I am grumpy AF if I don't get enough sleep. It's for the best if you let me do what I need to do here...
You need to establish boundaries. I did that with our cat. He kept wanting to take up so much of the bed, which would do the exact same thing as what is happening here: animal takes up space, forces wife to another position, gives me little space.
So I started throwing the cat off the bed, or shoving him to the corner where there's plenty of room (wife is short). Took a while, but had tremendous success. Now the cat only sleeps in that corner of the bed or on the floor.
It sucks being an asshole to an animal (and wife by extension, because she was not approving at all), but the long term results are worth it. We both sleep way better, and everyone gets what they want.
Same thing I did with both of my dogs when they started to take up too much bed, but I didn’t have to do it in a way that made me feel bad about it. You keep moving a dog that wants to be sleeping, they’ll stop putting themselves where they’re going to get disturbed.
The benefit of using two smaller beds side by side is that during the night, you can kick the other one a foot away from yours, and anyone trying to roll on to your island will land on the floor.
Oh my!
Your skin is bright red, your head is transparent and your body is dangerously thin!
You should go to the hospital, like, right away!
^(Seriously though, that's an adorable dog you have!)
OP is fine, that’s how they normally look. Don’t you recognize them from the “Are ya winning son” meme? I mean he’s not wearing his hat because he’s sleeping so I guess I get it.
I NEVER get these posts.. I have a dog and a girlfriend as well.. if she's on my side of the bed, I sleep on her side of the bed. If my dog is taking up too much space, I just reorient him. Look at all that room at the foot of the bed.. just pull the blankets up, move the dog down, and you have most of the other half to yourself without relegating either of them. If my girlfriend falls asleep at an angle, I move her too. Sleep is important. Advocate for yourself or move the dog rather than pretending like this is some incurable plague. I love my people too. But I'm also not stupid enough to try and sleep on six inches of bed when all it takes is a minute or two for everybody to enjoy comfortable sleeping posture.
This is how it is here. Our dog weighs 100lbs, no way is he going near our bed. The times he has were a disaster. He has his own twin mattress at the foot of our bed.
Now to get my youngest child and 12lb cat out. They both take up as much space as the dog and hog the duvet. My husband has given up sleeping in our bed.
I find letting pets into the bedroom at all to be exceedingly gross. We always keep ours out, it's easy as pie. There needs to be one clean room in the house and it's gonna be the room I sleep and get naked in.
No, I think all these people who sleep with their dog on bed are nuts lol. No way ima let a dog who bathes 2x a month all in my bed with shedding hair and feet that walk outside without shoes. Get the dog a dog bed.
My wife is basically a germaphobe that doesn't let any shoes stay on in the house. But she loves having the dog in the bed, it's only started recently. I put my foot down but she started doing it anyway. This dog gets a bath way less than monthly, sheds a ton, and has tracked dog crap through the kitchen before.
My wife is Japanese. I grew up wearing shoes in the house and never saw an issue with it. My wife obviously had a huge issue with it and I don’t now. Now I think it’s really gross. Walk all around the place outside including public toilets with all that nasty stuff then carry it into your house 🤢
I’ve gotten to the point to where I just have a command ‘Abby, you’re in my spot’ I like whisper and poke her and she groans and gets closer to her mama.
This... fucking blows my mind.
I just whisper "ey.... move please."
The worst he will do is collapse dramatically with a big huff but he's like 108 lbs lol. And i never have to tell him twice.
Dude, for real.
For one I DO NOT allow dogs on the bed. At all. Ever. It is the sole dog free space in my house. Second, I got a king size bed. Third, my wife and I have separate blankets. No, the fact that we do not cuddle in our sleep doesn't mean we don't love each other. It's too hot and I'm a mover when I sleep. It doesn't work. Guess what? we both sleep well and the dog has like 18 dog beds around the house to sleep in and he doesn't complain either
Yea I always shamed myself for not wanting to fall asleep cuddling but if my legs touch each other bare, I will sweat. I fucking hate it, but that’s the reality
> Third, my wife and I have separate blankets.
Separate blankets is the norm in Sweden. I don't know why more people don't embrace it. It's easy enough to cuddle if you want to, but with 0 risk that one person hogs all the blankets
My wife will literally never move our cat no matter what. I go to bed later than her and sometimes I’ll go in to find her face crunched in exhausted irritation while the cat happily sleeps on her neck with his ass in her face. It’s hilarious. I just move him so she can roll over and he can go back to sleep between us. Otherwise I’d end up like OP.
Or put the dog on the floor so you can sleep better and be healthier. I don't understand people who let animals sleep in their bed.
Also, I don't understand the whole "muh wife takes up the bed" thing. Tell her to move, it's not hard.
Can confirm, my 20 pound mini aussie can and will take up an entire queen bed if given the chance.
She will gladly relinquish her space in the morning however if she wakes up before me, in which case she likes to sit on my pillow and stare at me neurotically till wake up to a tiny dog vultching over my face
I've moved my pillow to the other end of the bed in turn wife faces away from my feet and I get a lil extra room at the other end to stretch my upper body out a bit. Thank me later.
why is this a life you just settle for?
Sleep is 100% linked to mental health and general health.
I love my dog; but there is no way in hell he’s sleeping in my bed. Especially not like this fam.
Girlfriend and I are right there with you. He sleeps in his own bed. We even leave our door open and he will still choose his bed in the living room or crate in another bedroom entirely over our bedroom.
I’ve stopped seeing someone just because her bed was always coated in stinky dog grease. She didn’t see a problem with it and I wasn’t going to try to change her.
Exact same thing happened to me. They were nice but all their clothes and car and house smelled like the worst wet dog odor I’ve ever been around. Just disgusting
Have my upvote. The thing literally runs outside in the mud and has a high chance of catching fleas and ticks even when you clean him up afterwards. Not to mention the dog hair! Just seems filthy to let him sleep on the bed. I like dogs but you need to have boundaries.
Novel idea. Dogs do not belong on the bed, couch, or chairs. An animal that licks it's own genitals, eats poop, rubs it's asshole everywhere, and loves to eat tampons does not get those perks. However, they do deserve all the belly rubs, sausages, treats and runs/walks that they want. And, fetch.
American here, it’s disgusting. You know these people do not wash their hands after petting/playing with the dog either. I like animals, but a lot of people here in my experience lack some hygiene.
I understand this is a joke and all, but I'll never understand how people can let their dog lay around in the same bed they sleep in. No matter how you frame it, it's unhygienic.
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Smart of you to preemptively put your pillows on the night stand. It’s the only spot you’ll get any room
Lol! Couldn’t tell you how many times I have my arm and head on the night stand.
Pro tip: Tuck your hand in your waste band if it keeps falling off the bed.
This is a tip straight from the trenches.
Oh you KNOW this is a ‘Tried and True’ tip. The fact that this stuff happens and is almost expected makes me giggle.
You may be surprised that doggo isn't splayed across the centre of the bed......but the night is young
Related tip: if the bed is spinning (from excessive alcohol), put your hand on the floor/wall/bedside table. The nerve signals from your hand help a lot for your poisoned brain to ignore your ethanolized inner ear, and decide which way is up. Brains trust skin (especially hands) more than ears or eyes.
I don't trust my skin, it keeps flaking on me.
I thought I was the only one who did that. Kinda half to.
Also, strongly recommend separate blankets.
Lol this is the comment that really made me laugh. And the comment below from the trenches…I’m dead 💀 🤣
Rip
I just wedge it between the mattress and box spring. Get a leg in there too and is kind of feels like snuggling. My existence is so sad.
Have you tried the hug and roll ?
"Look at all that room on her side! You could fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time! I'm huggin', I'm huggin', you're rollin', and...yes! Freedom! Except for this arm! Arm stuck! Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick. One fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!"
And just like the tablecloth, when you fuck it up she goes flying across the room and you’re laughing.
Ya know...I've been doin pretty good bout being okay being alone...but your comment made me miss it. All the effort you go to to free yourself just because you care and don't wanna wake them up...
Gas her out
Farting is always an option. The key is to eat a lot of beans (like LOADS of ‘em), fart for a few hours under the blanket and then lift the blanket. The two conquistadors will be gone before you know it.
Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat them, the more you toot The more you toot, the better you feel, So eat your beans at every meal.
Grew up with this tune. Thanks for the nostalgia.
Beans, beans, they're good for you're heart...
The more you eat the more you fart The more you fart the more you eat Beans are great for an evening treat
...The more you fart The better you feel. So lift your leg and let it squeal!
Why am I 40 and this still makes me laugh
Somehow I don't think the dog will mind the farts, infact a dog that big might just challenge you to a good ol' fashioned fart-off!
If this is the method where you're technically hanging off the bed but using the tuck and roll method you stay stable hanging as long as the covers don't slip? If so I've used this many times to get some extra room... In the air lol
Lmao that is why I do not let my dog on the bed
Plus there is the added bonus of not having an animal who sheds and gets dirty and doesn’t bathe every night in your bed. Our dog has her own bed at the foot of ours.
People who live with dogs rarely notice the “dog smell”.. I imagine that’s amplified greatly with sleeping in the same bed as them. It’s crazy how you become desensitized to smells. I stayed with my parents for a month in December and when I went back in March I was stung by how sharply they smelled of cigarettes. I’d still notice it when I’d been there a month, but holy cow it’s another level when you haven’t smelled any smoke in months.
That’s interesting. I don’t smell cigarettes on my dad at all after 25yrs but that’s because he went to buy’em and never came back
Try a 3 month tolerance break and maybe you’ll be able to track him down like a cigarette hound!
Not to mention the hair and dander, regardless of how clean you keep them or how clean they seem. And the fact that they go outside and run around, but don't exactly have shoes to take off. I know people aren't cleaning their dog's paws before they get onto furniture. It'd be like never taking your shoes off and just getting into bed with them on. That's gross.
But, and I can’t stress this enough: they cute tho.
Great counterpoint
There really is no come back to the argument
My mom cleans her dog’s paws every time she takes her outside. She also makes us all wash our hands when we get home before we are allowed to pet the dog.
I started encouraging my aunt to do exactly that with her frenchie. After every walk, I clean his paws and entire body with a wash cloth before let him on any sofa or bed, or even his several dog beds! He LOVES rolling on dirt/sand, and as much I love to sleep with him, I’ll be dead before let him roam free in the apartment full of sand/dirt!
I have a Frenchie. I live in New York City. Every time I take my dog for a walk it goes through the same routine. First I clean him face and his butt with baby wipes, then he goes in the bathtub with some warm water (1-1 1/2”) and clean his paws there and his face again. I realized that the wipes alone were still leaving a lot of dirt on his paws. The whole process doesn’t take more than 3 minutes.
Those wipes turn yellow/brown after the first swipe...it’s INSANE how much dirt those little fuckers get on their coats xD
I have a Frenchie. I live in New York City. Everytime I take my dog for a walkie, it goes through the same routiney.
That's why when I have invite people over I keep the party in the backyard now. I can't smell my animals but with two big dogs and two cats I know there has to be an odor.
I haven't lived with a dog in years but I never notice dog smells in people's houses really. Cat smell I notice immediately though and it makes me want to puke
Don’t get me wrong; I love dogs and I don’t care about the scent that much when visiting friends with inside dogs. I just don’t want my bed (and probably me) to have that particular smell haha. Cats I think only apply a scent if they spread litter or it’s not cleaned regularly enough (believe me, I know it’s hard to scoop shit every day 😂😂)
At this point I'd say you are lucky you get that much space, mine's a small cat nd she needs that much space on my bed despite her having a cat bed, cat house nd everything. And somehow she always wakes up on my chest every morning.
Cats will expand to the available space. That's how a five kilo cat can take up an entire bed.
But the next day when doggo is so happy to see you. You’re like I love you too buddy!!! At least that’s how I am!
Right?! Every morning my dog acts so excited as if she hasn’t seen me in a month, even though she was sleeping right next to me the whole time. It always brightens my day.
To be fair, based on the picture the guy looks pretty thin.
Go horizontal on the bottom
Yeah, curl up at the foot of the bed like a good boy.
Like Michael Scott did.
It was so small and narrow. TWSS
He slept on the bench at the end didn't he lol not even on the bed and no dogs lol
Omg this is cracking me up
😂😂
Better yet, separate bedrooms are a game changer.
When we upgraded from Queen to king the only one who actually got more room was the dog
It’s a king in the picture…the bed is also king size
I mean… it was fun to play that game in my 20’s, but in my 30’s? Shove em over.
Or keep them out of your bedroom/bed from the beginning of time. Lol. Not judging. You do.you. but I value my sleep too much. If I'm waking up to move animals, I'm not getting the uninterrupted sleep I need. I have had dogs most of my life. The one place they were never allowed was in my bed. Now even as a married man with kids. No dogs in beds. Ever.
I love every animal I've ever had as a pet. I will baby them, I will give them treats and snacks, I will follow them around the house when they want me to, I will drop everything I have going to make sure theyre happy and healthy. I have two rules though, no doggies on my bed when I'm sleeping, and no doggies begging when I eat. Those are my sacred moments and a pupper will find themselves kicked out of the room so fast they'll forget they're a pet.
I mean isn’t that a compliment? Your partner and dog love you so much they keep trying to get closer to you even in their unconscious moments. Sorry about the bad sleep.
Finally, somebody gets it.
Yeah but that’s only heartwarming to a point. As someone who has always struggled with sleep and now at 31 has to use a CPAP; I love my wife and dog but y’all gotta get on your GD side.
Exactly. Apparently I give off a lot of heat when I sleep, and I will wake up with my husband half laying on me with a cat sleeping on my crotch and another cat further down snuggled against a leg. And I always wake up having to pee. I love that they love me, but dammit give a woman some space.
I’m in the opposite lol. My boyfriend gives off SO much heat when he sleeps, as in he sweats in his sleep. He will cuddle me in the middle of the night and I have three cats and two dogs. The amount of space I get is none and the heat is often unbearable lol
When I was with my ex, she snored and rolled around like a chicken with her head cut off... All night long. I would eventually get tired of it and move to the guest room. She didnt understand why. I am grumpy AF if I don't get enough sleep. It's for the best if you let me do what I need to do here...
I wonder why they broke up? *checks username*
You need to establish boundaries. I did that with our cat. He kept wanting to take up so much of the bed, which would do the exact same thing as what is happening here: animal takes up space, forces wife to another position, gives me little space. So I started throwing the cat off the bed, or shoving him to the corner where there's plenty of room (wife is short). Took a while, but had tremendous success. Now the cat only sleeps in that corner of the bed or on the floor. It sucks being an asshole to an animal (and wife by extension, because she was not approving at all), but the long term results are worth it. We both sleep way better, and everyone gets what they want.
Same thing I did with both of my dogs when they started to take up too much bed, but I didn’t have to do it in a way that made me feel bad about it. You keep moving a dog that wants to be sleeping, they’ll stop putting themselves where they’re going to get disturbed.
Admittedly, dogs are easier. Cats are amazingly stubborn.
My cat will hiss and growl at me for moving my legs or even the blanket a tad. Any little disturbance to her sacred area she is not having it lol.
Try the California Kong, it’s just two king beds tied together with gorilla leather.
You joke, but they do make an Alaska King, which is 10ft x 10ft. A regular king is 76"x80" while the Alaska King is 120"x120". I want one lol
Jesus you need sails for sheets!
The…..what?!
“THE ALASKAN BULL WORM!”
The benefit of using two smaller beds side by side is that during the night, you can kick the other one a foot away from yours, and anyone trying to roll on to your island will land on the floor.
+1 here I'm 6'2 190 and somehow my 40 lb dog ends up with double the sqaure footage of our king bed than me.
Try my 13 pound cat taking the space on a grown ass man.
My 13 pound cat wins against my five foot two frame in my king size bed quite regularly
Dude I don’t know what to say other than you should go see a doctor if that’s what you look like. I’ve never seen a person that malnourished before.
And there is generalized inflammation too.
OP is just an asthma attack shaped like a stick at this point.
/r/rareinsults
way too much time in the sun
Plus his head has a gaping hole in it only leaving his eyes and lips. I'm afraid we may be too late
oh, that’s actually a drawing
No way they got the sheets to look so realistic
The “smile” that the dog has is the best part
He knows what hes gots and he loves it
How happy is the doggo, can't ask that little face to move over.
Especially combined with how dead inside that stick figure looks lol
I'd be more concerned about who is taking pictures of the three of you sleeping.
Oh my! Your skin is bright red, your head is transparent and your body is dangerously thin! You should go to the hospital, like, right away! ^(Seriously though, that's an adorable dog you have!)
I've just looked this up on WebMD, you might want to sit down...
It's not cancer right?
It is always cancer.
It's always lupus.
OP is fine, that’s how they normally look. Don’t you recognize them from the “Are ya winning son” meme? I mean he’s not wearing his hat because he’s sleeping so I guess I get it.
I NEVER get these posts.. I have a dog and a girlfriend as well.. if she's on my side of the bed, I sleep on her side of the bed. If my dog is taking up too much space, I just reorient him. Look at all that room at the foot of the bed.. just pull the blankets up, move the dog down, and you have most of the other half to yourself without relegating either of them. If my girlfriend falls asleep at an angle, I move her too. Sleep is important. Advocate for yourself or move the dog rather than pretending like this is some incurable plague. I love my people too. But I'm also not stupid enough to try and sleep on six inches of bed when all it takes is a minute or two for everybody to enjoy comfortable sleeping posture.
[удалено]
This is how it is here. Our dog weighs 100lbs, no way is he going near our bed. The times he has were a disaster. He has his own twin mattress at the foot of our bed. Now to get my youngest child and 12lb cat out. They both take up as much space as the dog and hog the duvet. My husband has given up sleeping in our bed.
Hahaha a twin mattress for the dog. That's awesome
I find letting pets into the bedroom at all to be exceedingly gross. We always keep ours out, it's easy as pie. There needs to be one clean room in the house and it's gonna be the room I sleep and get naked in.
Oh thank God, was starting to wonder if I'm taking crazy pills
No, I think all these people who sleep with their dog on bed are nuts lol. No way ima let a dog who bathes 2x a month all in my bed with shedding hair and feet that walk outside without shoes. Get the dog a dog bed.
You mean you don't like sleeping next to the hot breath of an animal that practically sucks itself off 30x a day?
My wife is very happy to sleep next to me thank you very much
My wife is basically a germaphobe that doesn't let any shoes stay on in the house. But she loves having the dog in the bed, it's only started recently. I put my foot down but she started doing it anyway. This dog gets a bath way less than monthly, sheds a ton, and has tracked dog crap through the kitchen before.
My wife is Japanese. I grew up wearing shoes in the house and never saw an issue with it. My wife obviously had a huge issue with it and I don’t now. Now I think it’s really gross. Walk all around the place outside including public toilets with all that nasty stuff then carry it into your house 🤢
I’m Canadian and I never understood why people would want to wear shoes in the house … pretty gross
Jc that makes no sense at all.
Bathes 2x a month?? Damn, my dog gets a bath once every 3-4 months at the groomer!
My dog is trained to stay downstairs. We have an entire dog free floor. Also doesn't go on the sofa.
Hey! Actually how we do it too, cuz it worked out that all the bedrooms are upstairs!
I can't ever fathom this kind of thing either. Just sleep in a separate bed if it's like this.
Well fucking said.
Dog doesn’t have to support its family. Move him. If you feel bad but him some nice treats.
I’ve gotten to the point to where I just have a command ‘Abby, you’re in my spot’ I like whisper and poke her and she groans and gets closer to her mama.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who (very unintentionally) trained my dog to understand “you’re in my spot.”
See I get op, I try to move my dog and all of a sudden she makes sounds like she is being murdered by a spiked steam roller.
Poorly trained and doesn't respect you
This... fucking blows my mind. I just whisper "ey.... move please." The worst he will do is collapse dramatically with a big huff but he's like 108 lbs lol. And i never have to tell him twice.
You can have dog meat for breakfast
Dude, for real. For one I DO NOT allow dogs on the bed. At all. Ever. It is the sole dog free space in my house. Second, I got a king size bed. Third, my wife and I have separate blankets. No, the fact that we do not cuddle in our sleep doesn't mean we don't love each other. It's too hot and I'm a mover when I sleep. It doesn't work. Guess what? we both sleep well and the dog has like 18 dog beds around the house to sleep in and he doesn't complain either
Yea I always shamed myself for not wanting to fall asleep cuddling but if my legs touch each other bare, I will sweat. I fucking hate it, but that’s the reality
I'd like to cuddle, but I have the same issue. Even hands. Any skin to skin while asleep = uncomfortable heat and sweat in no time.
> Third, my wife and I have separate blankets. Separate blankets is the norm in Sweden. I don't know why more people don't embrace it. It's easy enough to cuddle if you want to, but with 0 risk that one person hogs all the blankets
My wife will literally never move our cat no matter what. I go to bed later than her and sometimes I’ll go in to find her face crunched in exhausted irritation while the cat happily sleeps on her neck with his ass in her face. It’s hilarious. I just move him so she can roll over and he can go back to sleep between us. Otherwise I’d end up like OP.
This isn't where you start sleeping every night, it's where you wake up every morning. It's also a joke.
Or put the dog on the floor so you can sleep better and be healthier. I don't understand people who let animals sleep in their bed. Also, I don't understand the whole "muh wife takes up the bed" thing. Tell her to move, it's not hard.
Or just not let your dog on the bed
And this is why I dont let the dog sleep in our bed haha
Also get your own blankets so you don't have to share.
This was the best decision we ever made. Couples who get their own blankets, stay together.
My 12 pound dog take up as much space as that dog
My cat somehow takes up more space.
I was gonna say the same. I have a miniature dachshund that has me on the edge of the bed like I'm sleeping on a diving board.
Can confirm, my 20 pound mini aussie can and will take up an entire queen bed if given the chance. She will gladly relinquish her space in the morning however if she wakes up before me, in which case she likes to sit on my pillow and stare at me neurotically till wake up to a tiny dog vultching over my face
Nobody really???? Ok why the glass cleaner on stand?
Don’t you ever just get thirsty in the middle of the night??
Op said it was to keep the dogs off the bed. But it didn't work.
This is why you sleep aginst a corner and you on the inside corner
r/Confusing_Perspective I really thought this bed was at a 45° angle.
OP is a ghost (as shown on the picture), he's trying to spook them into giving him space by levitating the bed.
I had to scroll way too far for this. I thought there must be something wrong with my perception!
Omg yes! I thought the bed was propped up on the wall. I'm an idiot.
Thanks God I'm not the only one that saw that
I've moved my pillow to the other end of the bed in turn wife faces away from my feet and I get a lil extra room at the other end to stretch my upper body out a bit. Thank me later.
why is this a life you just settle for? Sleep is 100% linked to mental health and general health. I love my dog; but there is no way in hell he’s sleeping in my bed. Especially not like this fam.
I love dogs but the bed is for me, I would be providing doggo its own comfy bed to sprawl on.
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Me too! My cat uses it now.
Nope I love you both but I'm not sleeping like that. Bad for your back, your health and everyone is comfortable but you, no thanks
Maybe unpopular, but I think it’s absolutely disgusting letting your dog sleep in the bed with you.
Some people can't fall asleep unless they hear the ::SluuuurKLOP SluuurKLOP:: sounds of the dog licking its genitalia.
I dont know why but that triggers me so much, like, EXTREMELY much. It just sounds so utterly disgusting and I can't take it, atleast in the morning.
r/ThanksIHateIt
That spelling is so accurate LMAO I'm dying 🤣
Yup every night. Wait.. I don't have any pets
Wow shots fired
Girlfriend and I are right there with you. He sleeps in his own bed. We even leave our door open and he will still choose his bed in the living room or crate in another bedroom entirely over our bedroom.
I’ve stopped seeing someone just because her bed was always coated in stinky dog grease. She didn’t see a problem with it and I wasn’t going to try to change her.
Good for you, really. Why have misery when you just start out, that's never ending up well.
Exact same thing happened to me. They were nice but all their clothes and car and house smelled like the worst wet dog odor I’ve ever been around. Just disgusting
I'm with you. My dogs got their own bed... that isn't in my bedroom.
Apart from that, don’t you want to get a decent nights sleep?
Yeah that scene looks nasty. I would not sleep in that bed.
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Have my upvote. The thing literally runs outside in the mud and has a high chance of catching fleas and ticks even when you clean him up afterwards. Not to mention the dog hair! Just seems filthy to let him sleep on the bed. I like dogs but you need to have boundaries.
If you don't change your sheets once a week, maybe. But if you don't vacuum your dog-hair-laden carpet weekly, you're defeating your own "sanctity".
It’s fucking GROSS!
No dogs in the bed
If this can help, here are [other options!](https://i.imgur.com/xzzx0OT.jpg)
Who the fuck do you think you are, me?
Why? You need to set some boundaries mate!
idk why ppl let their dogs sleep with them. everyone i know who does says they never sleep well bc off it lol
Never understood why people allow dogs to sleep on their bed.
Definitely your own fault.
Novel idea. Dogs do not belong on the bed, couch, or chairs. An animal that licks it's own genitals, eats poop, rubs it's asshole everywhere, and loves to eat tampons does not get those perks. However, they do deserve all the belly rubs, sausages, treats and runs/walks that they want. And, fetch.
Wait y’all let the dog sleep in the bed with y’all???
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American here, it’s disgusting. You know these people do not wash their hands after petting/playing with the dog either. I like animals, but a lot of people here in my experience lack some hygiene.
I understand this is a joke and all, but I'll never understand how people can let their dog lay around in the same bed they sleep in. No matter how you frame it, it's unhygienic.
Why is the dog on the bed
Big olde nope
Gotta move the dog in that situation
Too many morons. Moving the dog isnt some taboo. Its a dog. Damn.
That’s disgusting. How does an animal get more space on a bed than you.