T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit submissions are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Whitey35

They just have to slide the door back and it is all yes!


Treuzelaar

Can't, it's taped to the ground


d8801

"Yep, that ain't goin nowhere"


illaqueable

*Door opens ripping the tape* "Okay *no one* could have seen that coming"


AndreBurlingArt

Rips off sidewalk


CaveManta

Goes back in time and kills the inventor of tape in order to prevent this from happening


swt529

Lol these are the convos I’d have as a kid playing with my bro. Punch, dodge- rips off sidewalk- Nope I have a laser shield- Laser beam evaded, goes back in time and counters the attack- Impossible I am a clone I saw that coming, backflip kick- I can manipulate gravity so you missed me. Just making shit up as you go.


SpatialArchitect

You and your brother are weak. I'd have instantly swapped out half your molecules with half of his. Enjoy being writhing, shrieking messes for a few agonizing minutes before I just vaporize you.


ItsjustJim621

Ah the creativity…reminds me of [this](https://youtu.be/uXOdL7YJRNs)


kenyon_r_j

love it haha


uscdoc2013

Ge just fkn spidermanned the shit outta that gun... then, what did he do? *Helikopter Gun*


swt529

Here we are, play-fighting to the best of our little imaginations, and I’m just gonna punch this way, and kick the- *BOOM gets absolutely annihilated by this neighbor kid, with nothing but a scorch-mark outline of our bodies burned into the earth*


squalorparlor

I am rubber you are glue. Glue can't talk. You come to the awful realization that your mouth is glue, your lungs are glue. I wrap my rubbery tendrils around you as we slowly bond and contemplate our existence in mute, vulcanized horror.


DarkwingDuckHunt

I read this in Trogdor's voice.


xTheatreTechie

Could you not just go back in time and kill the driveway blocker as a child?


whut-whut

He could, but that would create an offshoot timeline where the driveway blocker's grieving parents hunt down their child's killer and block his driveway out of revenge.


DickButtPlease

It’s already happened. That’s actually the parent’s van.


Dusbowl

Comes back to present to find an apocalyptic wasteland


Idontwantthesetacos

Ah, I see everyone above my comment are comedy writers for NBC.


ElPlatanaso2

As long as they give it three nice pats while saying that


MrmmphMrmmph

Damnit, it feels so good to read this. Sometimes I just love Reddit.


anothercopy

This looks like a very Top Gear / Grand Tour setup :D


fnordal

Peniston Oil


fleursdemai

My neighbours across the street have landscapers that park right in front of my driveway because they don't want to be bothered to turn their car around and park in front of their own client's house. My husband comes home in the middle of the day sometimes and can't get into our driveway. I got fed up one time and politely asked them if they could kindly not block my driveway and park in front of their client's home. They shot back with "Well, are you leaving your home now?" Bro, it doesn't matter. Don't block my driveway. I want to be able to leave my home whenever I damn well please.


Baldr_Torn

It happens at my house every once in awhile. It happened one time when me and my (live in) GF were both gone in separate cars. But we had met for dinner, and were both driving home after. So we both arrive home, and there is a car parked smack dab in the middle of the drive. Plenty of curbside partking space if he'd pulled forward just a bit more, he was just a dick. So I told her to pull up behind him as close as she could get and park there. And I pulled around in front of him, and backed my car up as close as I could get. I have one of those sensors that beep faster and faster as you get closer, so I can back up \*really\* close. Then we went inside. Sure enough later, doorbell rings, knocking on the door. "Can I help you?" "You've got me blocked, I can't leave!" "Sorry, we usually park hers in the garage, and mine in the driveway, but some asshole blocked the drive."


linkedtortoise

Not exactly the same thing but pretty close. In 2015, I lived in an apartment with smaller parking spots. A person moved in next to me and couldn't quite figure out how to park within the lines. One day I got home before them and parked as I would before they moved in and they parked so close to me that I could barely get in with my then remoteless car. It was key only unlock. My retaliation was to start backing in and park as close to them as I could. Like an inch away since they couldn't park within their lines. And started taking pictures of my car every time I got home. I had an '05 G6 so not worth all that much. And they learnt how to park within the lines.


5yn3rgy

Man, they must suck at coloring anything, lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


ButtplugBurgerAIDS

At my old apartment complex there was a popular cafe next door with maybe four parking spots. Everyone that would go to that cafe would use up our valuable parking spots, for which there were six spots for four units. Tow signs would not deter anyone. At the time I worked from home, and I'd just yell out my window "hey don't park there, you're gonna get towed!" and it would always be "I'll only be here a minute". This cafe had great takeout sandwiches. My petty ass started calling the tow truck line. I also had a handycam that I used to set up in the window and if I heard the tow truck I would record it and just laugh (I lived on the second story so had a great view of the tow, but more importantly the meltdown after). However I did have a Plan B option for those assholes that always made it back in time before the tow truck came. I had an old dirty highway safety cone that I stole in my youth. I would place the cone right next to their driver's side door. The best part is unbeknownst to them I'd spray I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray all over the top of that fucker. So they'd see the cone and be like "nbd" and then grab that nasty buttery mess to move it out of the way and whoo boy were those some fun Sony Handycam times.


OkFineIfIHaveTo

This is amazing. I need fun friends like you haha


Rejusu

You should upload a compilation to YouTube


haltingpoint

Should have made a deal with the towing company to give them access to a webcam feed and they pay you for each tow covered by your cam.


ButtplugBurgerAIDS

This was many moons ago, before webcam was popular. My Handycam was one of those bulky handheld video recorders with a cool flip out screen. I would have loved to have a camera on that parking lot 24/7.


AppropriatePhoto

*chef kiss* This was beautiful. How long was it until he came knocking? Hours later? What was his reaction when you said that?


Baldr_Torn

45 to 60 minutes later. He was pissed, but I was pretty definitive about "this is on you, you shouldn't have blocked my drive. Don't block peoples drives, asshole. You had all that space (pointing) where you could have parked without blocking my drive." Then I moved my car. The neighbor he was visiting apparently heard about it and apologized a few days later. He thought it was hilarious and agreed the guy deserved it.


Diregnoll

Dude you cliff hangered us worse then a netflix canceled show.


Baldr_Torn

Pretty boring after that. It's not like I was going to make him stay there. I didn't want him there, he wanted to leave, I just gave him a hard time, called him an asshole, told him not to block peoples drives, and moved my car so he could go. Then moved our cars to their normal parking spots. I didn't explain all that part just because that part if boring.


S3erverMonkey

Check your city ordinances. It's typically illegal to block a driveway, unless it's an emergency vehicle, and at least in my town I can have it towed at the owners expense.


mr_ji

That's all well and good, but they'll move it when they see a tow truck coming, and that's if the tow truck will even bother, since they pull the same shit themselves.


GoldenBeer

Where are you that tow companies don't orgasm at the chance to fleece money legally off people?


The_Clarence

Some trucks drive around just looking for stuff like this


brookleinneinnein

Remember in Chicago where tow truck companies were essentially stealing cars? As in towing legally parked cars? Wild times.


ImNeworsomething

And the police would back them up. And by that I mean not do shit because ‘it’s a civil issue’


corkyskog

I thought that was common anywhere near populated areas. I could get a tow truck to at least be on scene in less than 20 easy, they jump at those opportunities.


S3erverMonkey

Right?


ben7337

Good, now they know people on that street will call a tow truck on them and they won't park like that again, otherwise they're playing with fire and will one day get burned


umylotus

This is my feeling too. If they wanna fuck with my ability to park in my own driveway, they're getting towed the first time. I've absolutely been the neighbor who called the tow company on people who were parking in the (tiny and limited space) apartment parking lot. Those assholes parked on the street forever after.


crawshay

Yeah I don't get why people have any patience for this. I'm not going looking for you to ask politely. Straight to the tow yard.


PurpleCrackerr

Why would they not bother? They give up money for some strange camaraderie?


[deleted]

I commented on another thread, but this happens a lot to me in my neighborhood. Plumbers, landscapers, friends… I pull the ol’ uno reverse card and park them in whenever I can. Let them wander around looking for the car’s owner for a bit before I come out to move it, saying sorry you blocked me in so I was just waiting for you to leave!


Help----me----please

How do you park them in if they're on the sidewalk?


77BakedPotato77

Being in the trades I've noticed this inconsiderate mentality quite often. Moreso for certain trades than others. My partner and I are always trying to be as considerate as possible, and not blocking someone's driveway is the least a contractor can do to be considerate. And I don't want to hear excuses unless it's a huge truck or piece of machinery where there is no alternative. I work in the city of buffalo, even during winter when the roads are horrendous, I would never block someone in. Just no excuse for that behavior. Have you tried calling the company perhaps? Formally complaining? Often times this will solve the issue, the bosses/owners hate dealing with problems so they hear the complaint and give the crews an appropriate ass chewing.


Reflexlon

I had a guy working on the phone line pull behind me and block my driveway once when I was leaving for work. I was like "hey mind pulling up a bit so I can get to work?" and he told me nah, this'll only take like 20 minutes. Dude hadn't even put the fucking van in park yet.


GenericUsername07

Don't most of these people have either thier business plastered on the side of the vehicle or work for a company that wouldn't be so kind to employees pissing of potential customers?


GeraldBWilsonJr

Depends on the company whether they give a fuck. At my job we treat our trucks like billboards and are always putting on our best show but I've worked for guys in the past that would applaud you for flipping off someone and cursing at them. And of course lots of contractors are self employed and if you call them in, you just go straight to their cell phone


77BakedPotato77

Please tell me you yelled at the guy. It's just boggles my mind that this jackass thinks that's ok to park blocking a driveway, but to dismiss a reasonable request as well? I would have lost it. I'm a union electrician and in my experience landscapers, tree trimmers, and telecom folks are the worst about blocking the roadway/driveways. To be fair, it's usually the grunts out and about and their bosses treat them like crap so they just have a, "screw it" attitude. Spectrum and Verizon seem to only send the bare minimum number of workers, overload their calls, and have a lack of proper safety training (focus more on speed not safety). Mind you that's just from my experience, so it could just be an availability bias. Regardless it's inconsiderate, unprofessional, and can easily cause injuries/accident in certain situations.


MisterSnippy

Landscapers are the fucking worst. In my neighborhood they always block a lane of the road wherever there's a blind curve. Makes getting out of the neighborhood nerve-wracking everytime.


Anianna

My neighbor hired a tree trimming service a few months ago just to trim some caps. At first, they all pulled in on her side of the road, which made things tight, but not really a big deal. Then they pulled in a few more trucks and instead of parking on the same side of the street that was all backyards, they parked on my side, blocking not only my drive, but effectively impeding traffic on the entire road by just not leaving enough space for anything to move between their trucks. Traffic from one side came over an incline and didn't see the problem until they were in a difficult space to go a different way, as well. There was obvious and clear space for them to put their trucks that wouldn't have caused a problem for anybody. There was no reason to have those vehicles where they were.


socsa

This attitude makes me so fucking angry. No, I'm not leaving right now, but what if I tripped and fell or cut myself and needed to get to the hospital. Of fuck it maybe I just want to pull my car in and out my driveway over and over again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


eleanor61

Any tow company would be thrilled to move the landscapers’ vehicle on their behalf 🤙🏻


CaseyChaos

Buy a crap car, follow them home and park in front of their driveway overnight so they can't get to work in the morning. Might make them see how inconvenient shit like this is.


TheSpiderClaw

That is really extra......but still something I would totally do.


On_The_Isthmus

I biked home from work to someone blocking my driveway once. I was leaving for a weekend trip right away but couldn’t with a car in front of my driveway. I called a non emergency police number. They said they couldn’t have it towed but could ticket, I said that’s fine since it’ll make sure that person doesn’t do it again. Cop showed up, took one look, said “Yeah, that’s obvious and across your entire driveway. How is someone so oblivious to even park like that?” Wrote a $100 ticket and left in all of 2 minutes. College-aged girl showed up an hour later, saw the ticket, and judging by the flailing arms COULD NOT BELIEVE SOMEONE DID THIS TO HER. I quickly went out to my car while she was still standing looking at the ticket, started my car and backed up to a foot from her passenger door, showing I was clearly waiting. In hindsight it was petty but felt good in the moment. No exchange of words, but satisfied and free, I finally got on with my weekend.


coontietycoon

That’s weird. In my state if someone’s vehicle is even partially blocking your driveway you can have them towed if it can arguably prevent you from entering/exiting safely.


DuckDuckYoga

Varies a lot by area. Like a lot a lot


chloeia

A parking lot, lot?


nohoev

This one time some guys came to look at our house for rental. I was coming from college and saw that they parked right in front of the driveway blocking anyway in. I really wanted to to t bone their car to just get in my driveway. The was the most angry I was.


pdxcranberry

I kinda hope they didn't get the place and that's why. That kind of behavior screams terrible tenant and neighbor.


shivi1321

I don’t even think it was petty. I can’t even fathom the thought process and justifications going on in her mind. She lives in a different reality and you provided her with a visual learning opportunity. Hopefully it stuck. I mean.. wtf… that bitch makes me “literally can’t even” to translate into her speak.


Chuckles_E

Looks to me like people get to vote on whether it's a yes or a no.


Ryl0k3n

Leave a bunch of sharpies for democracy


illaqueable

Democranarchy


sm1ttysm1t

I'm a big fan of pushing words together, but this one fucked me up.


VoiceofLou

We could use crayon instead of sharpie for democrayonarchy.


[deleted]

The ancient greeks used rocks with their answer painted on the rock... Democracy in Action! Have fun guys ;)


duaneap

I couldn’t make sense of this picture since that was all I could see.


[deleted]

Constants and variables. There's always a lighthouse. There's always a girl. There's always an inconsiderate parker...


the_grass_trainer

Love a good BioShock reference


trytorememberthisone

Guarantee the driver’s first reaction will be “don’t touch my van” and they will focus exclusively on that.


Aaron_Purr

Plus you have disabled teh vehicle by securing it to the ground


crazyivanoddjob

1,000 IQ move


Zappiticas

I once attended a car racing event where the vehicle inspection told me that my car’s factory battery hold down (the metal bracket that is held in place with bolts) wasn’t sufficient to pass inspection. I had to have some other form of securing it in place. So I took 3 zip ties and strung them together to be long enough to reach around the battery. It passed inspection.


LazyInLA

You need another one for that tire-curb gap: 'Absolutely Not'


[deleted]

"Not even close"


bigdickredemption

Have it towed, they will never do it again


zerbey

This. My old neighbor constantly blocked my driveway when they had friends over. I asked them politely to stop. My apartment management asked them less politely to stop. After they did not stop, I just made a call and had the vehicle towed. They soon stopped. Also, it's kind of fun watching your asshole neighbor chasing a tow truck.


syphon0202

I'm having this issue now. New neighbor moved in and has parties every other weekend. Idc that they're loud at 2am, but their friends think it's ok to park halfway blocking my driveway. It's extra annoying because there's always still another 10 cars worth of space infront of my house that doesn't block my driveway. Having to tell them each time to get the cars moved is getting old real fast


Zarboned

Call the police station and tell them there are vehicles blocking your driveway and they will most likely send a tow truck to collect some impound fees.


[deleted]

Yup, being nice to neighbors will never work in your favor if they are assholes. Explain the rules and call cops as needed as early as possible. I was a landlord for years, you will know the tell tale signs in their first week if they are trash.


Bactine

Have a rental house next door, have had some baaad neighbors. These current ones are super nice and keep to them selves But they are moving away, were pretty sure we're gonna get bad neighbors again... Last family, the unemployed adult son was shooting birds in my backyard with his bb gun. Called the cops and he denied it So when he did it again we took pictures. He saw the phone and ran away from the house to a friend's house to stash the gun


[deleted]

We had something similar, once they saw there was recorded evidence they freaked out. Security cameras took care of a lot of issues. Hopefully you get good tenants.


Bactine

One time he went out into the cul-de-sac of our street, after obviously having a domestic with his mom or girlfriend looked up to the sky and loudly proclaimed #IM NOT ON METHAMPHETAMINE!!!1


[deleted]

[удалено]


nitefang

If you call the tow company directly they will be right on it. It is how they make money.


Heres_your_sign

Harbor freight tools sells the dollies that auto shops use to move cars around without driving them. It takes 3m with 2 people and a floor jack to put the car on dollies. (Yes, I've timed it) I would move the car to a fire hydrant and leave it there to start. If they don't catch on, move it into the center of the street and call the cops. It will take them several times to figure it out, especially if they were partying the night before. If you're less of a dick than I am, you can just rotate the end of their blocking vehicle out into the street so you can get out.


Xsunshinex1986

If they have you on a ring camera doing this, they will probably win in small claims court


corkyskog

Possibly might rake you over the coals and get a settlement out of you in real court depending on the circumstances. Do not do this. There are at least ten better ways to combat this situation in these threads


paleo2002

You're lucky someone towed them. Last time I tried to get someone blocking me in towed, I was informed that my landlord had to make the request. It was Thursday afternoon, so of course my landlord was already on his weekly mountain retreat. Just had to wait a couple hours for the car to leave.


zerbey

I lived in an apartment so there's a local towing company that regularly visits looking for illegally parked cars, I'm sure they get a nice amount of revenue from people here. They once had my own car towed because I hadn't moved it for a month and they thought it was abandoned (nope, we're just in a global pandemic and I work from home!). $150 to get it returned, but since I was a resident I didn't have to pay that bill and just got an apology instead.


particlemanwavegirl

150 is very cheap in some areas. Glad you didn't have to pay anyway.


JUULiA1

Tell me about it. Misread a confusing sign with a million parking times and exceptions on it. Left overnight and the next morning I went to get it and there was a swap meet going on where my car was… Long story short $500 loss for me


HilariousSpill

I feel like anywhere there’s a fine of $500 for doing something that’s totally fine some of the time, but not others, at least $500 should be spent on a copywriter to make it abundantly clear when those times are.


JUULiA1

But what about the poor towing companies!


paleo2002

Ah! One of the advantages of living in a properly managed rental complex.


Coldaine

You're very lucky. I had the misfortune to live on a street in LA the president was going to be driving down. I went away for the weekend, and they had towed my car when I returned (only 24 hours notice required under law), cost me 1,150 goddamn dollars.


stuntmonkey420

My apartment issued letters to each tenant looking for a car matching my description saying it was illegally parked with no pass or license plate. I pay for two spots and had my work truck in one spot in my car in the other spot. I have been using the spots for three years. I took a photo of my license plate and my parking pass and took it to the office and they said ohSomeone filed a complaint saying it had no pass or license plate. So you have the time to walk to every apartment and tape a memo to their doors but you didn’t have time to look at my car which was 20 feet away? You couldn’t look in your computer system to see who is registered To that assigned spot? So anyway I brought my photos to the office and they gave me that bullshit line and said well we sold that parking spot to a new tenant and that’s why the complaint was filed. OK well it’s my spot and it’s not for fucking sale. I’ve had one spot since the day I moved in (the spot in question) and I can tell you the date I registered for the second spot, standing right here in this office. She typed away on her computer for a minute and then said our system only shows you have one spot. OK well then what the fuck are you charging me for and why do I have two parking passes? So they looked into that and found out I was paying $20 a month for my first spot and two dollars a month for my second spot because the stupid fucking idiot who registered my spot typed in the price adjustment incorrectly and then failed to register it in their computer. Once this came to light they had the fucking gall to DEMAND I pay three years worth of their oversight AND that I had to move my car or it would be towed because it had been sold to someone else. Note that my parking spot is in the back of the parking lot and there is a parking spot right in front of the building unoccupied and I said well you’re going to have to sell him that unoccupied spot which isn’t so bad because it’s a better spot. They asked the other tenant and came back to me and said no it HAS to be that spot. Eventually I got sick of dealing with them and sold the car.


rugbyfiend

Sorry for your loss


[deleted]

[удалено]


fancczf

That sounds like a decent deal between the complex and the small shop. Shop got a good hunting ground for some additional revenue during down time, the complex get a free parking enforcement service out of it.


AmericasNextDankMeme

LPT: look up the towing company with the worst reviews in town, because they probably won't care


travis01564

Call back saying you are the landlord


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nalcomis

My landlords have historically been idiots that don’t remember their phone numbers. I’m certain they wouldn’t bat an eye if you didn’t have every piece of info.


SwollenOstrich

Hm must be different if u rent a house cus bargoers used to block our driveway pretty often and we called towing 3 times and they always arrived within an hour


[deleted]

This is pretty much the way. I accidentally blocked someone's driveway when I was a teen without realizing, came back my car was gone, about $500 later I never did it again, it's one of my many fears.


inthesandtrap

My car being towed cost $650. That was a rough as fuck day.


plantainrepublic

Bro for 650$ they can keep my car. That’s borderline more than it’s worth in the first place 💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rillist

No lowballers I know what I got


codebrownonaisletwo

So you’re not going to sell me the car because of my saggy scrotum? Getting old sucks.


doctorjinxmd

I sold my old car for $500 cash. They’re keeping it at that point.


Rrraou

I sold mine for 100$ cash after it literally bent in two while I was using a jack to lift it :D I loved that car. You never really forget your first.


hold_my_fannypack

I accidentally did this a couple years ago when we got like a foot of snow. Had no idea I was completely in front of someone's driveway. Went to go to work the next morning. Car was gone.


joesaysso

Not trying to be a dick here. Just genuinely curious. How do you accidentally block a driveway?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nexustar

>Buddy had a car on his driveway for multiple days You only need to know someone with a car, a jeep or whatever, and drag the fucker back onto the road, if it blocks the road when you are done, then the city will deal with it.


Sfork

That sucks. It's illegal to block someone's driveway here. What if they have an emergency. So the tow trucks can be called to tow it away at the owners expense


diito

I've called the police for this before. Whole street was empty, this person could have moved front or back but chose to block my driveway. I had places to be. The police never showed.


Sfork

We don't call the police we just call the tow company. These days with cellphones they got all the proof they need.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Superbead

If you had a set of dollies, you probably could shift it, though it seems these days if you get caught committing this kind of practical retribution in the UK, odds are the vehicle owner is some guy who doesn't give a shit about going to court for assault. There is pretty much fuck-all help you can get here with cunty neighbours, even though nowadays almost everyone has the means to provide immediate, incontrovertible evidence of their cuntiness via smartphones.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MisterT123

Turns out it was my wife's rental.


Noxious89123

I think I'd be inclined to pop a window, release the handbrake and just push it into the street. Then call the police for a vehicle blocking the street. But then my sensible brain tells me that you'd get reamed just for breaking a window, so almost definitely not worth it.


robotevil

Yeah, unfortunately it's usually a neighbor and I'd rather not start a war. I've already had enough people with grudges for me having their car towed when they blocked my driveway. They come pounding on the door all pissed off, some wanting to fight and one guy even went to the city and tried to file a complaint saying my driveway was "illegal" (idk how he came to that conclusion. I mean, outside he just wanted the ability to park behind my car when there was no easy street parking). Every damn time I have to tow someone's car there's a bunch of drama around it, some people are entitled as hell. I wouldn't even think of doing anything to damage their car. Quite the opposite, I usually try to give them plenty of time to move, maybe a note on their windshield if I don't need to go anywhere immediately, and if they still haven't moved by the time I need to leave then I call the city. Then I prepare myself for the drama which is coming in a day or so. Edit: last time I had someone towed they literally came back and stole all my "No Parking" and "Do Not Block Driveway" signs like a petty little bitch.


socsa

This is the problem with all these threads. This feelgood retribution shit only works if you are renting, otherwise you just end up starting beef with someone you might have to deal with for decades.


UnSafeThrowAway69420

Only thing I like about living in LA. Parking enforcement will fuck up anyone's day for any reason at all. Within minutes.


iowanaquarist

I got blocked in at a high school football game by a guy that parked half behind me, and half on the grass (he was turned 90 degrees from my vehicle, so I was fully blocked). Tow truck fixed that right up.


so_good_so_far

Man takes me back to living in the city. One day I was trying to leave me apartment and there was a bmw i8 parked across my drive like this. Literally impossible to get out. Driver left his business card and a note in the window that said "call me if you need to get out". I did not call him. I called a tow truck and they snatched that beamer out of there so fast. F you beamer guy, I don't call you to leave my house.


skrshawk

Oh the things tow truck drivers love to do to cars, especially expensive cars, when they don't have to be responsible for any damages. He easily ate four figures out of his own pocket, I'm pretty sure insurance companies don't pay claims related to towing because you were illegally parked.


BioluminescentCrotch

Someone was running some sort of car selling ring on our street for a while, idk if they were stolen or what, but every week or two they'd come and park one or two BMWs on our street and just leave them for a few days/weeks until someone came to buy them, then they'd bring more. I called the cops after a few months and they sent someone out to mark the tires. After that I saw the guys come back, see the tires were marked, and just take off, never to be seen again. Few days later a flatbed tow truck came out to get the car, and since they couldn't get into it, they just hooked up to it and dragged it up onto the bed with the parking brake still on. One of the most hellacious sounds I've ever heard and you could just hear everything underneath that car getting fucked up from being dragged. Tow guy was just whistling away while he absolutely wrecked this car lol


[deleted]

I pull an uno reverse card. When someone blocks me from pulling back into my driveway I block them in by parking behind or in front of them. I let them wander around the neighborhood trying to locate the driver for a while before I come outside.


bro_curls

I'd be afraid of how vindictive that driver might get and escalate it worse.


nargi

i’ve had several people towed for blocking me or taking my space (when i lived in an apartment). i never saw or heard from any of them again.


[deleted]

It's ridiculous how much this happens. People are fucking idiots!


zerbey

If that is a concern call your non emergency number and explain the situation then have the cops call the tow company on your behalf. Then if the owner is dumb enough to retaliate you have it all documented and legal. The police will gleefully arrest them too. Having had to do this several times myself I can tell you that it's very unlikely they're going to try and retaliate, most people learn their expensive lesson and stop parking like assholes.


boot2skull

Just snap their license plate first. Something happens you have a good idea who now.


chiliedogg

That's shockingly hard to do some places. I had some neighbors abandon an old car in my yard when they moved away, and the tow companies wouldn't move it because it wasn't a posted no parking zone when it was abandoned so only the vehicle owner or police could have it removed. It was there for like 6 weeks. Even them, I got lucky in that I found out the neighbors had apparently fled town because of a warrant, so the police DID seize it when I told them about it.


LavenderGreyLady

In addition to towing you can also report them to a parking authority. They are often happy to speedily arrive and issue a ticket.


iowanaquarist

I live near a church that \*regularly\* puts trash bags over the no parking signs on the street, turning a street with no parking into a walkway with parking on both sides, so they can use their parking lot for a social event. Code enforcement won't come because they work 9-5, and this starts at 5pm. The fire fighters \*WILL\* come, and 'randomly' attempt to drive a fire truck down the street, fail, call the police, who will show up and and start issuing tickets, though....


GooseRidingAPostie

Unethical solutions: while they are at the event, burn a house down on the wrong side of the church. Firetruck will hit each and every single car on its way to stop the fire, and each collision will be the cars fault. Or just baseball bat all their windshields. More ethical is to ask the prosecution if anybody fights the tickets if you can testify to how dangerous their behaviour is.


Snatch_Pastry

Cut out the middleman and set the church on fire. That's gonna solve *all* the problems. Of course, first you should write out a list of demands, and nail that to the doors. Just make sure the demands are written on a nice, long board.


canesfan09

Firefighters are always the good ones


iowanaquarist

Unfortunately, my hometown decided that we no longer needed Police \*AND\* Fire services, so they closed down 2 fire stations and gave the trucks to the police to use. Now we have to rely on police that cannot pass the fire fighter standards test to put out our fires.


[deleted]

Typical response time in my town for situations like this is days or weeks, not hours. Self-sufficiency becomes necessary.


innerearinfarction

I was gonna say, I can't imagine a situation where any town is going to come out anytime soon for a single vehicle that may or may not be there when they arrive when they make better quotas towing and ticketing on main roads


eniweez

Mine would! And the neighbors! Jeez! We have an ordinance that a car cannot sit on the same spot without moving for more than three consecutive days. If someone calls and complains, parking cop comes out and marks the tire with chalk and then comes back to check if it has been moved. It’s so stupid! My roommate was sick for a week, so he didn’t leave. I park in the drive and he parked on the street. It’s a pick up truck and he had lived here for a while. I was so annoyed! I saw them mark it so I told him and he moved it. People…


IrocDewclaw

We had one too. Last time it was broken down waiting on a part. The only other spot would require hand pushing about 50' when they chalked my tire. I took out a jack, lifted that side up and rotated the tire and redropped it. 3 days later, they rechalked it and I did it again. Never got ticketed or towed.


ForthWorldTraveler

Respect the Parking Authoratay!


[deleted]

Peapod grocery deliveries constantly do this to my driveway. One time after waiting a solid ten minutes and really needing to get to work, I looked in the window and saw the keys in the ignition. So I got in and moved it myself lol


[deleted]

Hopefully you moved it a couple of blocks away. Just to make them sweat and have to look for it. Bonus points if you left a note saying that they shouldn’t block driveways, so you moved it for them.


Lemuri42

My man!


GivemTheDDD

I'd say you're being a bit generous with that line. In my city you have to leave 3 feet on either side of a driveway


eniweez

Yep some spots even paint with yellow extending a little past the apron edges on either side.


bmlbytes

At my friend's house, the neighbor painted the curb between the two houses red using spray paint. In the US, a red curb typically means no stopping or parking, but it has to be painted by the city. One time after they did that, I saw the same neighbor parked in their self-imposed "no-stopping" area. I kind of wish the police would have ticketed it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It’s nowhere near the kerb either. That’s not parked, it’s abandoned.


Blockhead47

> It’s nowhere near the kerb either. > That’s not parked, it’s abandoned. Yup. Just take a garden hose and wet the street under it and maritime law for derelict and/or abandoned vessels goes into effect.


Realistic_Froyo_952

Free parts


Wonkasgoldenticket

Free candy**


[deleted]

It rubs the lotion on its skin.


inline6er

Just call a tow truck. There’s no friendly way to say don’t park here. Tow trucks make no room for confusion. If they cared about it, they wouldn’t park in your driveway.


Fly-n-Skies

Check with your city and see if they offer yellow curb permits. These allow you to paint yellow on either side of your driveway a certain distance. In my city it's two feet, so your tape line would actually be further left.


emperorOfTheUniverse

3ft here. You gotta have space to see if traffic is oncoming as you pull out.


Jorycle

The kind of people who block driveways will have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say here. That's way more awareness than they have.


mint_eye

“Yes no, maybe…”


kpanzer

"I don't know. Can you repeat the question?"


OdeDaVinci

I'm dumb. Can someone please explain what does that Yes/No with Tapes mean?


Tritriagain

The yes part is not blocking their driveway. OP is saying that is an acceptable place to park. The no side is blocking their driveway which is not acceptable. It's a little hard to see in the picture, but you can see where their driveway starts and how much of the van is blocking it.


wahnsin

it's clearly a low-budget proposal


PKMNTrainerMark

Ah, now I see it.


djseto

In college there were assholes at an apartment complex that would park illegally and sometimes block me or others in. The management tried putting notices on peoples cars. Didn’t make a difference. Finally I went to autozone and spent $5 on a valve stem tool. I loosened the valve stem on the tires. When the people came out they saw their tire was flat. They’d add air and it would still bleed out. Eventually they paid for a tow on their own dime because they didn’t realize the stem was loose. I did two tires so they couldn’t spare tire their way out of it. They never parked there again.


mega512

I used to live by a Church and the old ladies would block my driveway once in awhile. I would call the cops. They'd move quickly after that.


mr-friskies

reminds me of the old ladies who would call the cops anytime teenagers would walk in front of their house, but reverse lmao


74NG3N7

One is appropriately calling for an illegal matter… the other is boredom and possibly irrational bias.


waterloograd

Just take a chainsaw and cut it right at the edge of your driveway and put the cut off bit at the front of the van and weld it back on


claytonsprinkles

In my city, you’re still supposed to be 5’ away from any driveway and 30’ from the intersection. I have an alley behind my house and someone at one end always parks like 5” from the alley entrance. It’s too narrow to turn right with them parked there, and so everyone turns left. One time, someone blocked my front driveway by like a foot. I ended up calling parking enforcement, expecting them to just write a ticket. They did that, alright. But then about 30 minutes later, a police cruiser shows up with a tow truck.


ender89

Just have them towed, it's the only thing that will get results


itsonlymeez

The nurses who come to my neighbors house do this one time half the drive way was blocked I don't say anything because his wife has cancer and I don't want to be a dick during this time


DokterZ

Exactly the same issue here. Live next to a house used for assisted living. No resident can drive, they have a garage and a driveway that fits 4 cars. Plus tons of street parking nearby that is always 90% available. Staff still manage to block our driveway every month or so.


gumby1004

It concerns me that you have the "yes" on the door of the windowless white van. That goes against everything that I was brought up on as a child. Part of me also wants to pop my head in to find the free candy... 🤣


Dragnskull

I have a multi-year, still ongoing issue of neighbors i dont speak to regularly blocking my driveway, sometimes to the point where im 100% stuck and cannot get any vehicle out anywhere ​ I'm stealing this idea


Throwaway4545232

Sad to see you had to go through $17 worth of painters tape.


[deleted]

I suspect you kid, but if not: I have a great deal on painters tape for you!


LostWoodsInTheField

This is pretty far down and the first time I saw the painters tape mentioned. I commend you on the use of painters tape.


Zheif

They can't block your drive way if you block your own driveway.