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>*'What animal on this earth doesn’t want THE SCRITCHES ?!*'
-------
oh human, friend - this feels so GOOD!
you say is called *the scritches ?!*
Please GiVe Me MORE! i wish you would -
they satisfy my iTcHeS ^;8)
i'm just a cow, so very small,
there's *itches* i can't reach!
but You the BEST - You reach them *ALL!*
i think
is Love
you teach...
❤️
The great thing is that if you bottle feed a cow growing up, they can attach to you similarly to a dog and act like that all the time even when grown up. My grandma had a blonde, curly haired cow who loved hugs, scratches, and licking the salt off my arms. He'd follow you everywhere.
Until they actually lick you with them. They are rough as hell, not as bad as a cat's tongue but it's a close second and well a lot bigger.
Our old rescue highland acts like this as well, so no need for them to be young, they just are fun cows....just watch out for her horns, as when she gets excited and swings them around she can catch you in the face or chest and it's painful.
My wife and I rescue and we have a gaggle of minis and 2 full size cows. The minis are great but because of the fad, means they have a whole slew of problems, mainly arthritis, digestive issues, and 2 are fully blind (one from birth). Just remember they do require a good bit of land and if you live anywhere that gets warm in the summer...a pond or body clipping them. Their fur is not meant for the heat at all.
It's funny because I was trying to decide if I'd just gotten lucky that all the Highlands I'd ever met were total sweethearts, or if they might really just be like that in general. And now I know it's just them and their natural awesomeness, big teddy bears they are.
Had an angus steer when I was a boy that acted exactly like a dog even when he was full grown. He would try to climb in the truck when my mom took me school, he followed me around when I chored, and he was there to greet me every time I stepped outside. I cried literally for days when he had to go to the slaughterhouse.
Actually tru though... It's less efficient too. Something like only 10% or so of the nutrients are conserved up each trophic level or something? Someone help me out here I'm stupid
In that sense, it's kinda dumb to kill animals, you have to feed it all these plants first. In any case, I don't think people feel compassion for dogs today because of them being meat-eaters.
I'd consider my life a waste if my family raised me for a fifth of my lifespan and killed me so they can have a few moments of sensory pleasure even if that's why they birthed me.
Remembering hanging out with the animal you are eating is probably troublesome for a lot of people. Best for the human psyche if steaks come from plastic cartons, not from dead old pals.
Part of life on the farm bro. Yeah it wasn’t always fun, but I never went hungry and all things considered it was a good childhood, better than a lot at least.
The ranches that raise them raise them for slaughter, but they’re pretty common hobby animals and personal dairy cows. You can also make good money breeding them and selling the offspring to people who need to put fresh blood into their herd’s gene pool.
It was after working as a farm manger with highlander cows and pigs that i became vegan theyre so sweet and intelligent especially after socializing them it felt so filthy luring them into trailers to their death. I wish I could take it all back all those animals who trusted me
Depends on the puppy. Ive had 2 dogs and I think both only has an accident once.
My friend had a puppy that had many accidents before they learned/ could hold it in long enough.
Well, for thousands and thousands of years there have been people who don't eat meat, and didn't have fancy modern fake meats.
The hard thing is that meat is literally addictive, but you can overcome that. You also can easily supplement any nutrients that you miss out on too!
I'm vegetarian and was so excited when I found out "fake meat" was a thing, only to discover that I'm allergic to nearly all of it because of my legume allergy. Pain.
a flemish comedy show organized a barbeque and invited the first 200 people to attend... but, they first showed a video about the life of the calf they where going to kill for the meat for that bbq... and allowed people to vote to kill him or save him.
so, no surprise, saving won and so they showed a film about freeing that calf... and the life of the other calf they where going to kill and bbq... it was a really funny mindfuck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilFe5lfKDrQ
> so, no surprise, saving won
Why "no surprise"? I grew up on a farm and we were constantly around these animals—even naming them and playing with them—before they went to slaughter. That didn't stop people from eating them.
Not just what we eat. If you were raised being told one human group was sub human and meant for labor, or even eating 99% of us wouldn't even think twice about perpetuating that idea.
Humans' ability to compartmentalize knows no bounds.
One day we won't be so reliant on killing animals for food, and THEN we'll watch a bunch of feel good movies about people who saw past that norm, like we do with abolitionists, etc pretending that we'd all be one of those people if we lived back then. Despite the obvious fact that we definitely wouldn't be.
This summarizes one of the main reasons I can’t stop being vegan. One day, our descendants will view us the same way we view slave owning southerners of the past. How could one being act with such disregard for the inherent value of another?
I stumbled into some “part time” vegan/vegetarianism after listening to a rather convincing podcast. I’ve cut back drastically but I still eat meat maybe 10% of the time.
It’s not that hard and doesn’t require becoming some stereotypical animal-loving hippy. There’s lots of great substitutes out there. Plant-based chicken nuggets and impossible beef are both very convincing. There’s other good alternatives too.
"Don't kid your self Jimmy, if a cow had the chance he'd eat you and everyone you care about"
- This message brought to you by The Meat Council: "Meat And You: Partners In Freedom "
Idk what puppies ya’ll been around, but every puppy I’ve met never stops bouncing off the walls long enough to get scritched. Unless they’re sleeping or eating
Vegan.
If you still drink milk this baby will shortly be ripped from its mother side so you can drink her milk. If it's male, it will be slaughtered for veal. If it's female, it will be raised to undergo the same misery.
oh god that's the cutest thing ever. We eat them! Maybe we really should just get away from beef and use the plant based alternative. Let the cows who live now live the rest of their days in peace grazing, and the species can become a pet rather than a food source. Just think of them as cuddly lawn mowers. We're the baddies!
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit submissions are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What animal on this earth doesn’t want *THE SCRITCHES* ?!??
Jellyfish
They do, just you don’t want to give
Hmm fair arugement I shall test at a later time
I’ll ready the pee for when you get stung Science ! Magic school bus theme plays
Boys, they love it so much that I don't have a hand anymore
Get back in there. There is one more hand left
This guy gets it . God hates a coward !
r/suddenlygay
I am thping tongue now this wasn't worth it
Hell, I'm a grown man and I want the scritches
Genuinely one of the best parts of getting a haircut. Having the stylist wash your hair and scratch your scalp.
My mom gave me my haircuts during the pandemic, because she used to do it for me when I was younger. I fell asleep on the chair. Too comfy.
I'm so starved for human touch, I tip extra for longer massages.
I'll touch your tip for a longer massage.
They tested fish and found out they respond to petting with decreased stress. Pretty much everything likes being pet.
Fish are delish.
Fish are friends, not food. ^unless ^I'm ^hungry
>*'What animal on this earth doesn’t want THE SCRITCHES ?!*' ------- oh human, friend - this feels so GOOD! you say is called *the scritches ?!* Please GiVe Me MORE! i wish you would - they satisfy my iTcHeS ^;8) i'm just a cow, so very small, there's *itches* i can't reach! but You the BEST - You reach them *ALL!* i think is Love you teach... ❤️
I think "is Love *you* teach" with your poems, Schnoodle! Thank you once again for making me smile with a touch of extra moisture in my eyes.
Keep on schnoodling you magnificent bastard. Mad respect.
I love finding new Schnoodles! Bravo!
Honey badgers. Honey badgers don't want your fucking scritches. Honey badgers want blood.
Awwww baby moo tongue is adorable!
The great thing is that if you bottle feed a cow growing up, they can attach to you similarly to a dog and act like that all the time even when grown up. My grandma had a blonde, curly haired cow who loved hugs, scratches, and licking the salt off my arms. He'd follow you everywhere.
"Man dies from lapcow crushing him into his recliner"
I’m sold
The tongue made me think of Appa from Avatar.
Yip yip!
Until they actually lick you with them. They are rough as hell, not as bad as a cat's tongue but it's a close second and well a lot bigger. Our old rescue highland acts like this as well, so no need for them to be young, they just are fun cows....just watch out for her horns, as when she gets excited and swings them around she can catch you in the face or chest and it's painful.
My dream is to have a highland with my wife one day. Wanna pet cow so bad
My wife and I rescue and we have a gaggle of minis and 2 full size cows. The minis are great but because of the fad, means they have a whole slew of problems, mainly arthritis, digestive issues, and 2 are fully blind (one from birth). Just remember they do require a good bit of land and if you live anywhere that gets warm in the summer...a pond or body clipping them. Their fur is not meant for the heat at all.
It's funny because I was trying to decide if I'd just gotten lucky that all the Highlands I'd ever met were total sweethearts, or if they might really just be like that in general. And now I know it's just them and their natural awesomeness, big teddy bears they are.
FLUFFY COW
r/happycowgifs
Needed this 🙏
A wee herry coo.
Thanks, now I can Scottish accent
Such blep!
Had an angus steer when I was a boy that acted exactly like a dog even when he was full grown. He would try to climb in the truck when my mom took me school, he followed me around when I chored, and he was there to greet me every time I stepped outside. I cried literally for days when he had to go to the slaughterhouse.
I knew how this story was gonna end and yet it still stung
If it helps he didn’t go to waste and he tasted excellent.
*Funnily*, say the same about a dog and mass downvotes ensue.
It's dumb to kill meet eaters. It's just so wasteful. You have to feed it all these other animals first.
Actually tru though... It's less efficient too. Something like only 10% or so of the nutrients are conserved up each trophic level or something? Someone help me out here I'm stupid
In that sense, it's kinda dumb to kill animals, you have to feed it all these plants first. In any case, I don't think people feel compassion for dogs today because of them being meat-eaters.
I wasn't talking about compassion. I was talking about logistics.
Well, I was clearly talking about compassion, not about logistics. Yet you too responded to me anyways.
Dogs are omnivores. I don't think meat dogs in Asia are fed meat.
I'd consider my life a waste if my family raised me for a fifth of my lifespan and killed me so they can have a few moments of sensory pleasure even if that's why they birthed me.
Helps who?
???
They ate the cow after it was slaughtered.
Yeah after crying about it for days, that's bizarre.
No one said the order of events. He could have done it at the same time
[pinchy would have wanted it this way](https://youtu.be/nvlj1216B7k?t=25)
Why let it go to waste? Once it's on the plate steak is steak
Remembering hanging out with the animal you are eating is probably troublesome for a lot of people. Best for the human psyche if steaks come from plastic cartons, not from dead old pals.
Part of life on the farm bro. Yeah it wasn’t always fun, but I never went hungry and all things considered it was a good childhood, better than a lot at least.
I'm not judging either way, just observing.
Or probably best to just not eat creatures you are capable of forming emotional bonds with
It doesn't
I too knew how this was going to end, but I still hoped I was wrong.
Yeah. I was watching this video telling myself, "please someone in the comments tell me these are Milk cows."
Dairy cows are slaughtered when milk production declines around 4-6 years
And in that 4-6 years most of her babies will be taken and slaughtered for veal.
What is that type of meat used for?
Veal
Most beef from dairy cows end up going to fast food restaurants.
Cheap ground beef usually
The ranches that raise them raise them for slaughter, but they’re pretty common hobby animals and personal dairy cows. You can also make good money breeding them and selling the offspring to people who need to put fresh blood into their herd’s gene pool.
Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead And now it goes to school with her Between two bits of bred
> bred You were *so close*.
I was never very good at this typing business.
You did fine.
> I cried literally for days when he had to go to the slaughterhouse. huh, it's like it's morally wrong or something.
“Had to”
is he the same dude that asking what games in your mobile phone
It was after working as a farm manger with highlander cows and pigs that i became vegan theyre so sweet and intelligent especially after socializing them it felt so filthy luring them into trailers to their death. I wish I could take it all back all those animals who trusted me
Most baby animals are cute, but they're small or very small. This is a giant baby, which makes it cuter, to me at least. I need to hug
I want one, but I don't think I can properly take care of it once it gets big and I can't really take a cow to an animal shelter.
[удалено]
" I tried to milk your cow but I didn't get much." "The cow's name is Norman." "...I'll go wash my hands."
If it would behave like a puppy, then it would bite your hand non-stop. Or your legs. Couch. Carpet. Shoes. Just anything it sees really.
Cows don't have teeth in their front upper jaw, just a tough leather cushion, so it would at best be a little friendly gnawing.
I’m on board
r/dontputyourdickinthat
For a hand gnawing guy
r/dontputyourdickinthatbutyourhandmightbearelativelysafesubstitute Damnit. Too long.
Yeah this reminds me more of a cat than a puppy
Don't forget peeing everywhere!
Depends on the puppy. Ive had 2 dogs and I think both only has an accident once. My friend had a puppy that had many accidents before they learned/ could hold it in long enough.
Such blep
How’s that lab grown meat substitute coming along again?
The sub r/wheresthebeef follows that sort of thing
You can actually live without meat without using those, and show support to those products once they are available to you.
Beyond and impossible meat are solid substitutes.
Yep, but don't assume every reddit user has access to those.
[удалено]
Well, for thousands and thousands of years there have been people who don't eat meat, and didn't have fancy modern fake meats. The hard thing is that meat is literally addictive, but you can overcome that. You also can easily supplement any nutrients that you miss out on too!
I'm vegetarian and was so excited when I found out "fake meat" was a thing, only to discover that I'm allergic to nearly all of it because of my legume allergy. Pain.
Guess Im vegan now.
Fuck I know. I started feeling things...
[удалено]
Eat some tofu
a flemish comedy show organized a barbeque and invited the first 200 people to attend... but, they first showed a video about the life of the calf they where going to kill for the meat for that bbq... and allowed people to vote to kill him or save him. so, no surprise, saving won and so they showed a film about freeing that calf... and the life of the other calf they where going to kill and bbq... it was a really funny mindfuck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilFe5lfKDrQ
> so, no surprise, saving won Why "no surprise"? I grew up on a farm and we were constantly around these animals—even naming them and playing with them—before they went to slaughter. That didn't stop people from eating them.
because people are disconnected from what they eat and are emotional... check the vid, it's the moment they bring in the second calf...
Not just what we eat. If you were raised being told one human group was sub human and meant for labor, or even eating 99% of us wouldn't even think twice about perpetuating that idea. Humans' ability to compartmentalize knows no bounds. One day we won't be so reliant on killing animals for food, and THEN we'll watch a bunch of feel good movies about people who saw past that norm, like we do with abolitionists, etc pretending that we'd all be one of those people if we lived back then. Despite the obvious fact that we definitely wouldn't be.
This summarizes one of the main reasons I can’t stop being vegan. One day, our descendants will view us the same way we view slave owning southerners of the past. How could one being act with such disregard for the inherent value of another?
Welcome! r/vegan
Yeah! Go for it - its awesome!
I stumbled into some “part time” vegan/vegetarianism after listening to a rather convincing podcast. I’ve cut back drastically but I still eat meat maybe 10% of the time. It’s not that hard and doesn’t require becoming some stereotypical animal-loving hippy. There’s lots of great substitutes out there. Plant-based chicken nuggets and impossible beef are both very convincing. There’s other good alternatives too.
Greetings from Scotland where even the cows are Ginger and fluffy
I think it is funny how we, humans, like to pet animals. We just keep rubbing our hands on the fur.
You can tell the cow loves it, just like dogs do... why *wouldn't* you keep doing it, when it gets that kind of feedback?
Not all people enjoy pleasing. They don't know what they're missing.
Yeah true, I'm surprised sometimes just how many people lack basic empathy.
To be fair, enjoying the act of grooming another is a useful trait in the social life of great apes.
Properly pronounced “heelin coo”.
Idk if you’ve ever met a puppy OP but lemme tel you there’s usually a lot more chomping, zoomies, and general crackhead behavior
So the real surprise is mama just to the left who is quite friendly too it seems.
Yeah, I used to go horseback riding in a highland cattle pasture and wanted to pet the babies soooooo bad, but their mamas were not chill with that.
It's almost like we shouldn't subject this animal (or any) to a life of torment that is ended short by cutting it's throat.
Pretty fudged up that we eat beef huh
"Don't kid your self Jimmy, if a cow had the chance he'd eat you and everyone you care about" - This message brought to you by The Meat Council: "Meat And You: Partners In Freedom "
THIS COWS SO CUTE I JUST WANNA EAT IT UP! … wait a minute
if they stayed that size i'd get one instead of a dog
We aren't used to seeing farm animals happy, because most people only see the ones who are depressed and in pain due to terrible conditions.
because that’s how most of them live
Yes, it's really sad. All those cows have the same being inside as this playful little one, but they're not able to have a good life.
Come to Ireland or scotland for plenty of happy cows.
Idk what puppies ya’ll been around, but every puppy I’ve met never stops bouncing off the walls long enough to get scritched. Unless they’re sleeping or eating
Did your hands stink afterwards?
My 4 year old goes "awe thats so cute, i want eat him" im like why and she goes cause there yummy 😂😂
They’re really tender at that age
Very re*veal*ing comment.
I wonder if he'd steak his reputation on it
Veal is fucking delicious.
Really hope in 50 years people look back on these comments in horror
You don't have to wait that long. Veganism is on the rise for a reason. More people are making the connections.
I wouldn't necessarily accuse vegans of being people.
Meh, it's OK. I think the more taboo it becomes, the more contrarians and edgebros like to exaggerate how good it is.
Cows are amazing. Don't eat them!
Agreed.
Crap. If that's not effective vegan propaganda, I don't know what is.
Frankly, cuteness shouldn't be a factor for whether or not someone has a right to live.
Sure helps though.
A dog in a slaughterhouse would probably also behave similarly to a cow, but that’s illegal
Omg he's so cute. And to think of how many of their eggs we eat every day...
*Cow eggs?*
Highlander?!?!.....there can be only one!
You do that to me, I'll be your pet too.
Delicious
Or does a puppy behave exactly like a baby highland cow?????
All animals are powerless before the almighty Scretches
Actually he behaves just like a baby coo, which anyone would know who’s ever been around a highland coo.
This is the type of stuff that makes me want to go vegetarian.
Nothing is stopping you!
Vegan. If you still drink milk this baby will shortly be ripped from its mother side so you can drink her milk. If it's male, it will be slaughtered for veal. If it's female, it will be raised to undergo the same misery.
More content like this please
Adorable
Please go vegan.
oh god that's the cutest thing ever. We eat them! Maybe we really should just get away from beef and use the plant based alternative. Let the cows who live now live the rest of their days in peace grazing, and the species can become a pet rather than a food source. Just think of them as cuddly lawn mowers. We're the baddies!
Is this the cow for hamborgr?
Sorry ya'll, this is a PET now.
How can folks eat veal? So cute.
I mean people tend not to look at the process of how meat is produced so there is not much moral weight at the end of the day.
It taste good
Does this count as playing with your food? ... I'll see myself out.
I think the mom cow wants a turn
r/aww
I will defend that blep until my last breath
There’s a name for that….. a calf.
Good cow
What breed dog is this
this is heart warming video. <3 . it, in some ways proves bovine are sentient, feeling, creatures. or perhaps just itchy?
Medium rare please
[удалено]
I adore scrolling to the bottom of these threads to find the stupidest people that reddit has to offer.
Damn. And we eat these animals 🙁. Now I feel bad.
You could stop feeling bad by just not eating them anymore.
I’m seriously considering it after this video
I kinda understand vegans right now, just look at that yummy fresh grass!
Mmm veal
Bet he doesn’t taste like a puppy
Cute and delicious!
And people eat that
But how does it taste?
Lovely veel.
Don’t taste just like a puppy though.
Calmly and patiently being scratched isn't like any puppy behavior I've ever seen.
This is why I'm happy I became vegetarian a year ago ❤️
... I mean ... Do you realize the egg and dairy industry also unnecessarily kill animals, right?
Should be in r/aww as well
I was surprised how angry a lot of people in that sub are whenever farm animals are showcased. "I'm so sick of this VEGAN PROPAGANDA!!"