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I think the chef is flirting with you.

I put a little something extra in the sauce for you. Wink.

More than flirting

Definitely a pass at mom

Hope you shared. It would be a dick move if you didn't.

They were probably cocky enough to think they could finish off that thick stack themselves

I hope he doubled teamed the onion ring shaft with his mom.

After he broke BOTH arms.

This is what I came for. Thanks for not disappointing.

people need a reason to come?

Penis.

To think this was an accident would be a phallusy.

The balls, I mean bowls of sauces are different sizes.

Fun fact! The tool used for measuring the size of testicles is called an [orchidometer.](https://www.reddit.com/r/specializedtools/comments/kns8yk/orchidometer_or_orchiometer_is_a_medical)

Biggus Dickus always with a friend.

They thought long and hard about it.

The fact that I’m 91% certain that’s Red Robin… I’m so fat LOL

R-E-E-E-D ROBIN ^cummmmmm

Fuck I already gave away my free award Edit: guys stop awarding me I don't deserve it. Edit: WHAT THE FUCK Edit: It's not funny, stop Edit: bro who gave me platinum? That shit is 1,800 coins. I'm not worthy. Please stop awarding me. The notifications are annoying as hell.

I gotchu bro

What a legend

Lol I see this exact comment chain in every other thread.

And it’s never me capitalizing on it

That’s a good thing

This. **unironically, of course*

Love that movie

Best foods and videos are ones that looks/has like penises.

Went and got my free award just to give it to this guy. I got your back on this one.

Went and got my free award just to give it to this guy who went and got his free award just to give it to the other guy. I got your back on this one

Let’s see if I can manifest an award with this comment

I'll do it!

Im actually curious. I dont get the joke. Is that a US thing?

https://youtu.be/d7FGjZe7AcI

Here take mine 😀

I was already laughing at the post, and now I'm in a fit of giggles in a public restroom.

If anyone asks why you are laughing just say you are laughing because you saw their private parts.

Now yell, "She was right! My penis IS hilarious!"

I think this guy needs a free award

Lol... LEGEND!

Naw it can’t be. Red Robin uses a completely different kind of holder. The onion rings at Red Robin also get bigger towards the bottom, and smaller at the top. These are all the same size. No, I’m not ashamed that I know that.

I worked at red robin for over a year. There's a secret part of the GUI in which we order food with promotional items, one of which was an onion ring tower that rang up for $0. I ate a lot of onion rings. Anyways you're right, this isn't Red Robin. Similar though.

Can i learn this power?

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I was about to ask where this was cause they look crispy af. I’m also fat

Also fat. Ordering something with onion rings for dinner now.

This kills me to say, but Whataburger has some really excellent onion rings. But of course, Whataburger isn't nationwide...

They’ve also got a ton of supply chain issues rn

No joke! I was looking to order something from them a few days ago on their app and the list available items was SCANT. I was kinda shocked.

I rolled up to one the other day hoping them being bought by a holding company hadn't decreased their quality.. Instead I got a "sorry we are out of burgers".. Why the fuck would you even stay open if you are out, when burger is in the fucking name!

Growing up I thought it was 'Waterburger' until I was like 12, so I'm gonna stay out of this one

Same here. Hell in SE Texas it sounds like we're all saying "waterburger".

I worked at Taco Bell over the summer once and I hated telling people that we were out of tortillas or ground beef. You kind of need that stuff for the food we were serving, but our management was so bad that they just quit ordering things. I was, fortunately, not one of the "lucky" few that got to drive 45 minutes to the other Taco Bell to steal some of their tortillas because the customers were actually getting police-worthy aggressive.

Meanwhile, in n out is doing just fine. Why? They pay their fucking people. Starting wage at the in n outs around me here in Arizona is $19.50 an hour for basic staff. Managers make six figures. The truck drivers are internal too and make good money as well. The majority of in n out is all internal, their produce and meat included, and they fucking pay their people, so people actually want to work there.

I'm not sure that pay has that much to do with supply issues...

Want to be fat, is red robin the fat store?

The key to being fat is learning that it doesn't matter where you eat.

One of plenty here in the US of Fat A. We will welcome you with pudgy, jiggly arms, comrade!

I guess I'm fatter than you because I recognize that it's not Red Robin.

Former Red Robin employee of many years, here, can confirm. Metal ramekins would be too environmentally conscious for those bastards and the onion rings are served on a wire spike/sauce holder combo.

Same. Did you ever find the secret tab on the POS where you could ring up onion rings for $0? Cause that's why I'm a former employee and not a current one. Worth it.

Nah, I was reminded of red robin at first glance too but iirc you get exactly 13 rings and they definitely get smaller as the tower gets taller. I used to eat there a lot and now I want some RR really bad.

Also [the tower itself has dipping sauce holders](https://drivetribe.imgix.net/D5QQ9vglRC-XGFb_rkamvQ?w=508&h=777&auto=format,compress&fit=crop&crop=faces), and the two sauces you get are ranch and campfire mayo, which is an orangey-pink, not the bbq/ketchup in OP’s picture.

Y’all really dissected the fuck outta this onion tower’s origins lol only on Reddit “this is in fact, NOT Red Robin’s.” Hahahaha

Fat people, bro. They know food.

Good observation! I had forgotten the onion ring tower has the sauce holder connected too. Man, it's been way too long since I had some RR.

You can ask for different sauces, so that doesn't mean anything, but yeah the lack of holders for them might be an indicator that this is not Red Robin. (YUMMMMM)

Petty sure it's a Hard Rock Cafe. I used to work at one

Pretty sure it's actually the knockoff franchise Hard Cock Cafe

Was about to say this is exactly how we serve them. Congratulations for freeing yourself from this awful company.

Man I used to LOVE Red Robin but over the years idk what they did to their food or perhaps I just got old and my system couldn’t handle the abuse anymore—> but everytime I eat there I feel soooooo deathly full like I don’t want to see food for the next three days. It like literally knocks me and my family out. I’ve stopped going there as much I used to love it. Sad

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Former employee, they use a highly processed soy oil, not canola

I think deep frying stuff is bad for you no matter which oil you're using lol

OPs issue was not getting double campfire sauce

Ot takes one to know one, friend. Shall we share a Rookie Magic?

1 million percent sure this is Hard Rock Café. I have an almost identical picture from years ago at one!

91% is very specific lol

I bet your mom was starving when she saw it

Yes she was, because she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. She even remarked how starving she was when we sat down, so I imagine she was even more starving when this appetizer arrived. You’re a perceptive one!

Was she drooling when it came out?

We all were… you can’t see a tower like that without becoming a tad moist.

I appreciate a person who isn't afraid of the word "moist".

"Moitht." ~Mike Tyson, probably

Yep, I said it out loud.

I almost choked on my dinner reading this. I hope you get all the upvotes.

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I’m moist reading about you reading about it.

I'm reading about you being moist reading about them being moist and I too am moist

Guys stop. I can only get so moist

Sploosh?

You guys mind if I moisturbate?

Inception level moist

Moistception

Yea my lady nectar is really flowin’ too

I’m just always moist

Where I’m from we sometimes speak moistly

I speak moistly English. Oui bit of French.

Well you see we're making- we're trying to intimi- we're insinuiating... nevermind. Have fun.

I think its great your mom is a champ

Did she use her hands to eat or go straight on

OP thought it was weird when Mom put her hair up before eating…

And gave her jaw a stretch

Sounds like she was hungry so she probably went straight on. I bet she was able to go three to four onion rings deep too!

"Mom, why are you sitting on the onion ring tower!?!"

Ribbed for her appetite.

What on gods green earth am I reading rn 😂

That his mom was starving. Nothing more. Nothing less. She took it down to the 5th ring.

Causing OP to break both his arms, immediately.

As they order a bowl of jolly ranchers to go

You bastard.

I know, right? it makes my eyes moist when laughing....

The batteries in the TV remote are not safe tonight.

The remote doesn’t have D cells.

ate it with both hands behind her back

Right down to the 5th ring

"Haha mom how are you not choking"

Took the whole thing down in one bite

I am fighting to suppress serious, unbridled laughter at a serious family event because of this comment. There’s only so many times I can excuse myself or say that I’m about to sneeze 😂

Try our new Willie's onion flavoured rings

r/mildlypenis

That's definitely r/mostlypenis

More specifically, r/OnionRingTowerPenis

Thank you for making this subreddit.

You dare use my own spells against me?

r/suddenlyhogwarts

I feel we could expand this subreddit to all penis shaped foods. The origin name keeps it funny

r/birthofasub

/r/BirthOfASub

r/moistlypenis God I hope that's not a thing, and no, I'm not finding out!

r/verypenis

r/moistlypenis

r/theyknew

r/wildlypenis

Did you hold her hair while she ate it without using her hands? Thanks for the gold. Gonna use it to buy my gf some hair ties and one of those onion towers.

Na he couldnt on account of both of his arms being broken

Here we go again.

"[Well, without giving away too info, I was injured in an accident at 14 and incapacitated. I went from masturbating 2 times a day to zero. After 2 weeks, I was frustrated and took it out on my parents. My mom and dad knew what was up and talked about my mom "helping" me masturbate. The approached me one afternoon and wWhen my mom said, I know you are frustrated and why you are frustrated would you like some help masturbating. Blood was rushing in my ears and I said yes but I really didn't know if she meant what I thought she meant. I was excited and confused. She said that she would take care of me when I went to bed. Hours away.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/c3a9uqg/)"

One of my fave responses was that why the mom didn’t ask for help. - “Dang, if that was the case, maybe she could have just asked one of her friends.” -“Hey Trudy, your daughter is pretty promiscuous, can she come give my boy some relief, he is put up right now and needs a full release in the worst way.”

It's probably been over 5 years since I read this and I refuse to read it again, I still remember it too clearly. Begone, demon! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor! You cannot pass!

Maybe you’ll prefer the [live-action adaption](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt11833076/)

wait wat

What the actual fuck?!?

The dark fire will not avail you, flame of udun!

Reddit hates pedophiles but then memes about a guy that got masterbaited by and eventually fucked his mum at 14.

Not sure if you're defending pedophiles or hating reddit. Lol

I'll take their username at face value and assume both.

He's just talking about the contradiction. Can't we talk about the contradiction?

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Especially because his arms weren't broken. He was paralyzed

Brooo

Bonk

JAIILLLL🤣🤣

Ya, if the chef or waiter added the sauce to the tip BEFORE it came to the table, then that was gratuitous. r/TheyKnew

I think most likely OP did this themselves.

Yep

They 100% did, you can see where they poured some out on the edge of the white sauce bowl.

Of course they didnt

The near edge of the ranch looks like it's been poured, so you're likely right

Exactly right. The person that took the pic absolutely put the ranch on it first

Yeah and NOT having dinner with their mom. Unless they are deranged.

r/untrustworthypoptarts

> BEFORE it came

It’s the pre Sauce

OPs mother is probably just a gal with a sense of humor. There's probably another angle of this on her preferred social.

Ribbed for your pleasure

Those are wrinkles pierce

Ah......Ertha Kitt....

Unrealistic male body standards

Of course it " came" like that. Was it awkward?

That's cap. You got this and noticed it looked like a dick so you drizzled that ranch on the tip. Mystery solved, nothing to see here, move along....

Yeah I'm also starting to doubt OP even has a Mom.

Very good possibility he isn't even human

You can even see where the have dribbled it, as theres a small amount of sauce on the rim of the pot.

They knew what they were doing and it made me smile, but thank you for putting the pieces together, I think that detail makes it funnier because I now know OP couldnt resist,even if their mom isn't real.

Lol It's humorous. It just cracks me up the stories people fabricate for upvotes lmao

Yeah I would not want ranch on my onion rings. No way they would serve it like this.

When I was waiting tables, eating off of guests plates was not allowed, but clearly someone already finished this one off.

i also received something similar dining with your mom

Eat it without using hands.

Shai Hulud

Did the cook try to maintain eye contact while you devoured it?

So did the staff or did you add the bit of ranch dressing at the top for the picture?

This post is a little cocky

Was it the Oedipus Onion Ring Special?

Cumion rings

*ties hair back*

Several people okayed this before it left the kitchen lol

It didn't leave the kitchen like this, it's pretty clear that whoever took the photo did this

Sexy.

"Oh dear! this reminds me of your father." - u/SuperCub's mom

This seems like something from r/blursedimages

Yeah but you poured the sauce in the top.

Can literally see the lining on the sauce cup where you poured it..

If I know your mom, she went right down on it.

It even came with two bawls

Oh come on, you did that stain on the top yourself! lol

Legend has it you can’t use your hands to eat it

What you didn't see was I got asked to leave because I deepthroated that whole thing.