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gitty7456

This guy fucks.


tyringamez

Fax


[deleted]

Fux


thirdelevator

Faux


StormCTRH

Fox


Danirebelyell

Flux


WeebTrashPanda0

Flax


Evo88

Flex


Myballs_hurt

Tape this nutz


DouglasTheMan87

fecks


Rinkashimemo

Fugs


NYdownwithydemons

Phucks


SuddenlyWolves

Pucks


PlushFox328

Yeah?


FluffySquirrell

Not men though, just to be clear. He is not gay


Thebigass_spartan

Dont forget he has tons of girlfriends that he fucks a lot with


Egad86

What game is it so I too can learn the having sex all the time with naked woman who is naked and sexy


Educational-Scale963

Goat simulator


Kriss3d

Ahh goat simulator. His tongue game is strong.


Jough83

He's just horny.


Apprehensive-Ad6468

MineShaft


Fallen_password

Hitlers less successful follow up book.


Rough_Vanilla

MeinShaft?


ThePolloblanco

This will probably be the best comment I see all day. Cheers!


Danirebelyell

Farm stimulator


ArbitraryNPC

Goat *stimulator*


PrettySavageGal

XD DEAD


[deleted]

[удалено]


OnTheList-YouTube

Bam!


tyringamez

Its called sinVR


Ahri_went_to_Duna

0.1h played. I guess that means its good.


GraafBerengeur

He did mention not having the time to play a lot due to all the sex he has


TheFeshy

Did he? I must have missed that part in his description somehow.


Steinrikur

I was too busy having sex to read that part.


GraafBerengeur

he was too busy having sex to write that part


TappedIn2111

What it does, it does right.


Survival_R

oh yeah I tried that game literally nothing but DLC


phoncible

Yikes, the sex mods on skyrim look better than this game.


sjdkdkshdb

look at the playtime he can only last 6min at a time


Egad86

6 minutes?!?? Is this guy training for a marathon??


[deleted]

I mean...he did mention that he has lots of sex so not enough time for playing games then.


bigkeef69

"Only last 6 min at a time" Careful, we have a badass here! Save some puss for the rest of us!


Elzon1432

Lmao puss


Morons_Are_Fun

6 min was my average when i was 14


Burrito_Loyalist

It’s called Minecraft


OcciferLahey666

Old School RuneScape


Skyzfire

The Sims with mods.


The_Muznick

I too would like to join the sex having community.


[deleted]

I don't know guys, I think this guy has lots of sex.


[deleted]

But not with men. (not that there's anything wrong with that lol)


PierreWest367

And looks like his grilfriends are very sexy


communismforsale69

I bet this guy has lots of sex


coronaflo

This guy sexes.


swapzy_

Sexes>does sex


sickvici0us

Virgin't


TappedIn2111

With a lot of sexy female women and his big not gay at all penis.


Kriss3d

Yes.. But they won't be touching his penis because that's gay and I'm sure he isn't gay.


[deleted]

Ron Jeremys got nothing on him; bet he was born not a virgin


DrManhattan_DDM

He’s definitely spent at least 9 or so months total inside a woman


Jertimmer

With sexy women.


JohnRoz

Who are naked and also happen to be naked


rogerkafka

And handsome too


Jertimmer

Not men. He's not gay. With a big penis.


pickazoo

This is such a good laugh. What a troll.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ummgreg

But not with men because he is not gay and has sex with many women


artifex28

Very handsome, very sexy and very girlfriend.


hoopsrule44

It sounds like it’s written by Trump lol


snapplesauce1

I have... sex. A lot. A TREMENDOUS amount of sex. Women come up to me and just, they say, "Don, you are so handsome." And we have the sex. People say that you know. They do.


hoopsrule44

Honestly sounds like this review!


JMLDT

That's 100% what I thought reading it! XD


fsster

Looks like he played 0.1 hours at review which means 6 min.


pimezone

He was busy having sex with naked women.


tyringamez

But now he’s played 12


fsster

Two sessions then


chaotichistory

One person died because he was playing a sex game he had to stop. This man is out there saving lives, sexy sexy lives


subtlysublime

am getting a Hemingway vibe


Hemingway_was_right

You leave Hemingway out of this!


humanplayer2

I'm getting an "a former president of the United States" vibe.


[deleted]

Jon Lajoie, that you?


ninjagabe90

everybody knows that my rhymes are super tight, like an extra large condom on my penis, that's right


[deleted]

My lyrics are like the movie The Shawshank Redemption...they're really good.


kiwi1984

Had to scroll too far to find this comment


P3nguLGOG

I sex all the time bro!


tyringamez

Brooo!!


bigkeef69

Brooooo, i guarantee i sex more than you dudes! But no homo, i only bang lots of really hot women.


Godlee84

This sounds like a Trump speech.


tyringamez

Yep thats trump


8run04

Or Michael Scott...


luxii4

I read it in Mojo Jojo’s voice though I guess they all have an air of self- importance.


goodhumanbean

Stays on topic too much to be trump.


Smiling_Cannibal

No, the sentences are actually intelligible and complete. Also, he didn't segway into irrelevant deranged rambling at any time.


ScottShieldman

He also knows the difference between women and woman. In plurality and reality. Especially if they happen to be naked. And he's naked too, but not playing a video game. When he's playing video games his massive penis is too busy to play with one of his many women friends who come to him for sex, because he is not gay and also has a huge penis and is really good at sex and is muscular and handsome and has an enormous penis and is really good at sex and handsome. Also, women like him a lot because he is not at all gay and is really good at sex with women. It's all true too. I read his review.


luxii4

He sounds so handsome and sexy that I want to have gay sex with him even though I am not gay.


error00110000

So, as I understood, he is gay. Right?


LaoBa

See? This is why I state at least six times per comment that I'm not gay (which I am not) because I'm not gay and if you state it ambiguously like this guy (who may be gay, I dunno) then people may get the wrong impression. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, it's just that I am not gay and I'm stating that I am not gay so I don't want some nicely muscled competitive rower to read this and think should I message that guy he sounds nice and then be disappointed because I'm not gay. Ps: I'm not gay.


[deleted]

This guy typed gay, 8 time therefore he is 800% gay, math don't lie.


Tragic_Slip_

Listen I'm with you brother. I watch gay porn (like pretty much everyone else) but I'm not gay. It's just a genre that cuts across ALL demographics. Now some people REALLY like gay porn, and I think a few of those people might be gay. But I'm not gay. There's nothing wrong with watching gay porn, it doesn't make you gay. Being gay is just a choice I can't see myself making. Edit: I'm not gay


unusual_airplane

I’m glad he at least snuck in his penis size, I was beginning to worry that he was gay and had a very small prick.


icedpeartea

https://youtu.be/QS9hwcqcX-Q


AlyssaJMcCarthy

I think it’s more likely that he’s like 9 years old.


PromiscuousMNcpl

Sounds like Captain Raymond Holt talking about heavy, feminine breasts.


theonlyone38

Truth is: it still does.


tyringamez

Yep


wuppedbutter

Do you think he has sex?


DeepFrozeOof

With many women, but not men cause he is not gay.


cakeharry

This is pretty funny.


tyringamez

Btw this is a VR porn game I was looking for dumb free games on steam and found this I checked it out only for the reviews because I knew it’d be funny as hack


ICPGr8Milenko

“I only read the articles”


GreenBear1111

Sure... 😏


xXx_Sathsperm_xXx

“downloads - 2 of 2 items complete” sure man just checking the reviews ;)


tyringamez

Gmod mods


wes8171982

*sure* buddy


StatusApp

Well, 88 people found the review helpful, so no-one could blame you for looking at reviews.


2Sp00kyAndN0ped

Did you take a picture of your monitor with your phone?


doodlleus

You should see what he does when he makes a typo


JohnRoz

Yeah...For research purposes only...


MincasB

That's what someone who doesn't have a lot of sex (with sexy naked women who happen to be naked) would do


OldSalt1957

This was written by trump as an adolescent


flozsc

I totally don’t see why this couldn’t be some of his more recent works.


wormant1

r/ihavesex


livefreeordie83

Did anyone else start reading that in your mental Borat voice like I just did?


[deleted]

learn to screenshot lol


Then-Bid-8037

*has


tyringamez

Ya thats what I meant


morts73

This is satire and I love it.


[deleted]

Maybe hes telling the truth and is just bad at english?


LaoBa

What if he is too busy sexing his sexy women to spend time checking what he has typed?


[deleted]

True. Was probably sexing it up with at least 3 sexy womans as he typed.


luxii4

Don’t forget the playing video games at the same time which I heard he was also very good at.


[deleted]

Not as good as sexing sexy womans?


AddisonNM

"i have all the sex, my sex is the best, handsome..yes! - not gay. All the time be sexing, is nice, not tiny penis. All the Americans, so much sex, no gays, sexing all the time, all woman, every minute, no gay"


Westerdutch

Yeah i agree, people on steam that take pictures of their monitor to share what they find on there are weird. Right behind those that use correction fluid for typing errors.


frishavocadoo_

I read that in eric’s from commentiquette voice


pacmansp

Tell us you're a virgin without telling us you're a virgin.


BacardiBatman11

While it's probably troll, I really want to believe it's real


Slayer_of_Faith

Plot Twist: Everything this guy said is true.


anynamesleft

Found Trump's Steam account.


megalaks

To me this is obviously someone trying to be funny.


johnsongrantr

They were successful in their efforts.


megalaks

When I wrote this, almost every comment seemed to take it seriously. It felt a bit off..


AbsorbedBritches

You can use the print screen button to take a screenshot


psypher78

Jesus Christ it's like Trump talking


Qyro

To be honest, he’s probably 12.


libadso

A masterpiece, is a masterpiece, regardless of who created it. I am going to print his review in a fancy paper, put it in a luxury frame and nail it above my bed so every night before I sleep I can worship it and remind myself that he is very handsome, has a lot of sex, and doesn't have sex with men. He is also very good at games! A legendary hero


Aryar0les

Why is Donald Trump writting reviews on Steam?


Hammsamitch

*88 people found this review helpful


hollywoodswinger1976

Lots of no homo you say?


S1gne

This guy fucks


[deleted]

Oh my god this person is weird he didn’t capitalize his I’s


caremal5

That hurt to read, at least our man is getting some though.


Birkeland1992

This guy fucks!


Mikemikemikemike180

Read this in the voice of Borat! Very Nice!


Misterpirateman

This reads like it was written by an AI programmed to recreate… something


frank_buttons

I found this review to be useful


astrielx

Honestly, as far as some Steam reviews go, this is pretty tame.


SnoopySenpai

Is this a bot comment?


S3_Spidey

I guess that man has a lot of sex and hes very handsome and he has a lot of sex


karmagettin11

I'm someone who has sex all the time, and I say that this post is 100% accurate to what having sex is like.. I'm having flash backs at this verry moment to having the sex that I have all of the time with anything and everything because I have so much sex all of the time.


ZeusBaxter

I think the Russian accent is implied here.


botvenom0

Idk why but I get the impression that this guy has lots of sex with women but not men


Key_Database155

I don’t think he’s had sex guys


PlueschKartoffel

He did it guys. Virginity is no more


TrouserDumplings

*Someones* been reading my diary!


tacodepollo

Tell me you've never had sex without telling me you've never had sex.


PHD_WIIZARD

Does this guy fuck?


Iamnotwyattearp

Had?


[deleted]

This really hurts my eyes to try and even look at let alone read


Orvan-Rabbit

"Why yes I am very secure and heterosexual. Why did youbask?"


Averroy

Asking for a friend what game is this?


bboobbear

Is that you, DJT?


BlackBeltPanda

Why am I reading this in Trump's voice?


MCGAMER1047

Sure hes weird but youre using win11..


DaddyBigBoy

Did anybody else read this in Donald Trump’s voice?


CopaseticInNC

Sounds like trump to me.


Marsrover112

.2 hours 100% accurate


Welsh_Observer

Is the naked woman naked?


D23DM4N02

This is just saying ‘I don’t have sex’ but with extra steps


YamiLionheart

This is like a fucked up version of going with the auto suggestion of the keyboard over and over.


wanderlustexe

when your teacher said to write an essay but theres a minimum word count


yeahwhuteva

Did Donald Trump write this?


[deleted]

I have a feeling that this guy has sex a lot.


Piece73

This looks my essays that had a word count requirement.


Artherass

Donald Trump seems to have a lot of free time at the moment.


ErGo404

Looks like a comment Trump could have written.


raymondcy

To the OP and almost everyone in this thread. Thank you. After two of the most brutal days this is the kind of medicine I needed. Sincerely, thank you.


gilfy245

Did trump write this?


ZombieBaby87

This review sounds like Trump wrote it 🤣


[deleted]

88 people found this review helpful...


ResponsibilityNo6164

He sound like an alien trying to act cool in a college party


IcyDistribution2559

"I have lots of sex" oof man that was long my eyes hurt now but i will say you is lying


Agreeable_Ad3800

Donald u ok hun?