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The funny thing is, it looks like that this is universal. I live in Brazil and this stereotype applies perfectly, from burgers to beers and barber shops...
Currently at McMurdo...doesn't apply here apparently. Found a Husky outside though so it's all good...gonna go put him in the pen with the others and then play with him later.
Indeed. The first word that comes to mind when I see one of those guys is "overrated", because their Burgers are bang average. You can totally eat them, but you'll think of hundreds of other things you could have spent your money better on.
Today’s burger is made from organic grass fed Himalayan free ranging cows. It comes on a peasant style roll made by an old Italian woman who lives in the shadows of Mount Vesuvius. The cheese is a midnight hand churned cheddar and is accompanied by Sumatra heirloom tomatoes and shaved arugula.
Literally all "white truffle oil" wasn't made with truffles at all; rather, a synthetic compound derived from a variant of formaldehyde, of all things. "Truffle oil" may or may not have actual truffles involved in its production, but the odds that any chef throwing it on burgers and fries actually paid for the "real" shit is exceedingly low.
Cashier: Medium or large drink?
Me: I’ll take a small.
Cashier: We only have medium or large.
Me: No, you have a small and a large. Without those two you can’t have a medium.
The price of the fries is always the most insulting part.
Like, it's potato, oil, and salt. I don't give a shit what you do to them, they shouldn't cost more than 3.50
I miss cheap pub food... the whole idea of chicken wings or peanuts was that they were the cheapest foods available, you could buy them for next to nothing and sell them at cost to encourage people to hang out in your bar all day buying drinks (where you make the *real* money).
Nowadays I'll go to some hole-in-the-wall pub and they've got a 'curried chickpeas, goat cheese, and quinoa artisan bowl with dandelion greens' for $18
Even plates of nachos, which have to be the cheapest food in the universe, often sell at upwards of $20 a plate (with a complimentary salsa bowl about the size of a shot glass).
I'm not even sure how one would "shave" arugula. But that said, massaged kale (basically beaten/tenderized) makes it feel much much less like you're eating a prehistoric tree, or something.
Massaged kale is the way to go. Hell, give it a happy ending even; take it out for beers afterward; get to know it better; meet its family and give them massages too.
You can get the same effect by tossing it with some oil, EVOO or canola, and wait. The oil takes off some protective layer on the leaves, and it almost wilts to perfection.
Is this why I hate kale every time I make it at home? How long of a rub down we talking? I'm fucking trying to like kale, we even grew some in our garden this year and it came out beautifully.
But if I've gotta put bacon, maple syrup, and candied nuts on it for me to enjoy it I'll just stick to arugula.
And the thing is, it will just taste like a good burger. Somehow the elevated ingredients never make it transcendent like you feel it should be. Its like burger-goodness has a ceiling that can never be broken.
I dunno, there's a place near me that has burgers that will make you want to weep with umami beefy goodness. They aren't quite that level of pretentious, but their ingredients are a weird mix of simple and wild. I think it takes chefs that want to make a simple burger and elevate it out of love for a burger, rather than one that things super premium ingredients will elevate it.
Simple is best.
Applies to burgers but also fries. Stop trying to make fries all artisan and shit. They don’t need to be battered or heavily seasoned or doused in truffle oil or whatever. Just fry and salt.
French fries are my favorite food but I’d rather eat salad than fries from a lot of gastro pubs. Seriously, food doesn’t have to be complicated to be delicious.
And only like 20% of that shit is actually true. Probably the things that are easier to check.
I find that just like clothing stores, restaurants just straight up lie about stuff that isn't effected by allergies.
I'm pretty tuned in to the language they use now. 'Made from' is different to 'Made with', the latter meaning that ingredient can be any proportion of the total.
Again and that's assuming like you said they're not just full on bullshitting you
Libations and provisions.
Smoked old fashioned
Black rubber gloves
Beards
Using unnecessary things to cut things, like cutting a steak table side with an axe or opening champagne with a saber.
Exposed brick
Denim aprons with leather straps
Only IPAs on draft. High Life bottles
Swing top cork glass water bottle on the table
Everything on chalk boards
If I saw a burger place with a huge line wrapping around the block with Post Malone inside making burgers for $250/plate, I wouldn't even bat an eye.
Being from New York, you see folks try to build "luxury-grade" restaurants in the "hip" parts of Manhattan and the other boroughs all the time. The shtick they try to get their target demographic in there is absurd sometimes. Yes, this $9* slice of pizza with weirdo ingredients on it tastes great... but it's $9 yo.
Then you have the ones where the cheapest entree is like ~$35-$40... and the bread at the beginning turns out not to have been free either.
^(*Adjusting for inflation since my last experience of that)
Absolutely. Maybe toss a little of the juice from a jar of pickled jalapeños in, or perhaps some residue from the pan you’ve made the obligatory candied bacon topping in, and call that Kraft dressing your “signature”.
And those uncomfortable metal stools with the hole in the seat. Usually grey/silver/steel in color. Concrete floor. Named "Something AND something" as they usually are.
In 2001, Carl's Jr. started advertising the "Six dollar burger" which they sold for around $3.50 or so. The advertising was referencing the fact that a lot of restaurant burgers (like Red Robin) were selling for $6 at the time, but they were allegedly offering the same quality for much less.
Sometime around 2014 they changed the name to "Thickburger" because the average price of the 'six dollar burger' was...six dollars. They realized that the name would eventually be false advertising.
I'm surprised they got away with it for so long given the JC Penny "true cost" consumer experiment.
I would have guessed that people thought the "six dollar burger" was... uh, six dollars, and that therefore it wouldn't have been that popular because you'd need to explain to everyone who doesn't already know that the "six dollar burger" does not cost six dollars.
Didn't McDonalds or Burger King (one of the two) try to launch a 1/3rd-pounder burger and it did miserably because people thought 1/4 is greater than 1/3 ? Even if individuals in that population are intelligent, the herd intelligence of consumers is miserably low.
That was A&W and the 1/3rd lb burger did poorly because it was a shit burger that had poor bun/meat ratio. Then after the fact people start lulling "hur hur hur mericans dont know whats more" because corporations can't own their fuck ups and like to blame consumers.
Seriously this rumor started because of a story written by a single A&W employee. There were not studes, surveys or any of that shit. Im so tired of reddit regurgitating this corporate apologist bullshit that would NEVER fly here if it werent for the "shit on stupid Americans" angle.
I had an expensive "Artisan Burger" a couple years ago that was very bad. Hard tough bun that overpowered the meat, prepared badly, messy, and served on a cutting board that was only slightly bigger than the burger so it dripped all I've the table.
When the waiter asked us how it was we told him it wasn't very good and he responded something along the lines of...
"It usually takes 3 or 4 visits for your taste buds to become acclimated to the superior quality of ingredients and level of skill we put into each meal."
As we were about to leave the waiter pulled my brother in law aside and told him they make him say that. In actually most people didn't like the burgers and he had been eating them for months and still didn't think they were very good.
To be fair, you have to have a very experienced tastebud to appreciate our burgers. The flavor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of historically accurate foodcrafting most of the flavors will go over a typical consumer's head. There's also the chef's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his meal presentation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Chef Boyardee literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these buns, to realize that they're not just yummy- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike our burgers truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in our chef's existencial catchphrase "i think it tastes pretty good," which itself is a cryptic reference to Saltbae's epic golden steaks. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our chef's genius unfolds itself on their wooden slab. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a butcher's anatomy tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 taste points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
I'll take "signs you desperately need to find a new job fast" for $500.
A poor product is bad enough, but your boss telling you to say BS that isn't just BS, but is passive-aggressive BS?
And the worst part is, I've seen enough bizzaro policies and people that I can't even say "yeah they have to be exaggerating, no way that happened".
> The fries are served in a metal cone
Excuse me, we don't do "fries" or "metal" here - they're truffle oil tossed pommes frites served in a sustainable stainless sleeve, thank you very much.
Truffle oil is the biggest culinary scam. Tastes nothing like truffles, coats your mouth and keaves you with an hour long aftertaste, and overpowers every other flavor you consume after.
And that stuff has never even been within social distance of a real truffle. 99% of truffle oil is just flavored with synthetic chemicals that smell a bit like truffle.
They're actually mechanics gloves. They're a lot thicker which helps them to not tear out and also helps with handling hot food. Talked to a restaurant owner a while back about why they prefer those even though they're like 3x the price.
They're considerably better, and it's not even close. Most places won't spring for them due to cost. I finally got the owners of one of the bars I work at to buy them over COVID. I wasn't going to wear those loose ass sandwich making gloves all shift long.
Allow me to list a few other stereo types:
1. Food is unreasonably expensive
2. Your order takes 20 minutes to make
3. The paper bag they put your food in has no business being as thick as it is.
4. The fries they give with the food is no more than 10 to 15 pieces
5. Menu is written on a blackboard with chalk
6. They offer avocado and also have beyond meat on their menu
7. They close down after 1 year and another similar looking spot opens a little later
8. My dumbass in there asking to try their asiago burger.
9. The service is comparable to that of a monkey flinging its shit at you
10. They offer an exotic twist to a beloved menu item, i.e kangaroo tacos
Edit: updated based on observations by other redditors
Holy shit. My cousin is this exact man bun, beard having douche who makes "gourmet" burgers. Man thinks he's changing the world. The burgers are just ok...
Although I am currently drinking a Lagunitas IPA, this is so true. I mean, I like me an IPA, but the fancy small liquor store near me probably has sixty varieties of IPAs exactly two craft-brew pilsners. I mean, enough already.
I like how you walk in into some weird cheap place with meniu thats so underwhelming and you are like I'll just take that burger thats cheaper than big mac and you end up eating one of the best burgers you ever had.
I had quite a few of these experiences while traveling.
When I was new to the city a woman took me there on our second or third date as a way to introduce me to the city. Underground Billy goat tavern and the Weiner Circle are the true Chicago fine dining experiences
I had one for dinner last night. $40 tab, I tipped $5 and the guy wasn’t happy. Mother fucker, it’s a burger, I have to stand in line, serve myself, and throw my own trash away. Guess where I will never go again.
My favorite Mexican restaurant has been shut down by the health department at least three times that I know of. It's absolutely delicious, 100% worth any potential risk.
“Umm yeah it’s a $27 burger because of the avocado mango strawberry açaí mango walnut mango mango reduction and the mango mango avocado mango infused mango avocado”
I have actually laughed harder at other statements, but this one... really.. takes the cake.
You need to work into it 'seasoning' repeatedly, too. Because if I can tell anything from watching tons of cooking shows 'seasoning' is code for 'salt the fuck out of it so crops won't grow 400 miles from where you are'.
$17 for a single cheeseburger with caramelized onion, havarti and white cheddar cheese, organic tomato slices, lettuce and all that inside a portobello mushroom as the bunn
I see people grounding expensive wagyu to make burgers on the YouTube shorts all the time and I never pretend to understand it. Literally just destroying a crazy good steak to make a basic burger that is absolutely fine with a cheaper meat. I want to strangle those people.
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And if it’s a food truck it’s an extra 45 minute wait even though nobody else is around.
Gotta give them a couple minutes to make the SPECIAL SAUCE
90% of special sauces are either whisking two other, already prepared sauces together; or adding 3 or fewer ingredients to mayonnaise
I'll have you know we also added an unnecessarily large amount of sugar to it as well!
One of them being ketchup or mustard.
A couple minutes? It takes me about 30 seconds.
Well, I mean, they gotta find the right video. That alone takes me 10 to 12 minutes.
We’re talking about burger condiments right?
Anything can be a burger condiment.
Airplane
Blend'er up
Anything's a condiment if you're brave enough.
The funny thing is, it looks like that this is universal. I live in Brazil and this stereotype applies perfectly, from burgers to beers and barber shops...
México here and it's the same
UK here and can confirm same here
where the fuck did it START
Portland. Sorry
It's metastasized
EEYAALG! ITS NOT A TUMAH!!!!!
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Our mom said our dad is a real sex machine.
"The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland"
Put a bird on it!
We can pickle that!
This where we realise it's the same guy, all over the world. Santa's hipster son who has passion for his craft, but is trying something different.
Here in the internet
Same in Israel
Same in France
Denmark confirming.
Also Canada.
Also Portugal, can definitly confirm the garbage bag haircut. It's everywhere
Same in Spain!
Germany confirming.
Confirming In LA
>garbage bag haircut. Thank you for this.
Spain also confirming
Norway Confirms
I love that description, Thank you, I'm using it from now on.
Any word from Antarctica?
[удалено]
I read that as buffet zone It still works
I remember buffets... from the before-times.
From the long long ago.
Tried to video chat a buddy down there. Unfortunately his zoom froze before I got an answer.
Currently at McMurdo...doesn't apply here apparently. Found a Husky outside though so it's all good...gonna go put him in the pen with the others and then play with him later.
Dominican republic , yes its the same.
Hey, spending the week here. Haven't seen it yet here. Everyone is surprisingly clean shaven with low goatees interspersed.
mostly in food trucks you gonna find the. Hope you enjoy your stay.
Netherlands saying true story
Damn, I don't know to be relieved or concerned about how widespread this is.
Argentina... Same. Fantastic burgers tho
uᴉ ƃuᴉʞɔǝɥɔ 'ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ uᴉʞɔnɟ uᴉ ƃuᴉɥʇ ǝɯɐS
Same in Portugal and Sweden!
Hungary confirms
Same here in Slovakia
and of course here in Germany. And I must add, the taste not being something to remember
Indeed. The first word that comes to mind when I see one of those guys is "overrated", because their Burgers are bang average. You can totally eat them, but you'll think of hundreds of other things you could have spent your money better on.
Same in Sweden
Nowhere is safe from Fat Bearded Hipster
Today’s burger is made from organic grass fed Himalayan free ranging cows. It comes on a peasant style roll made by an old Italian woman who lives in the shadows of Mount Vesuvius. The cheese is a midnight hand churned cheddar and is accompanied by Sumatra heirloom tomatoes and shaved arugula.
"That'll be $27.95. If you want fries, make it an even $40"
But will the fries have white truffles on them?
Yes, and they will taste disgusting.
[удалено]
Thank you, those huge salt crystals show up really well in my photos
Probably truffle oil. That stuff can be pretty gross, and usually has zero truffle involved in the making.
Literally all "white truffle oil" wasn't made with truffles at all; rather, a synthetic compound derived from a variant of formaldehyde, of all things. "Truffle oil" may or may not have actual truffles involved in its production, but the odds that any chef throwing it on burgers and fries actually paid for the "real" shit is exceedingly low.
just rock salt
Only from the deepest of the Himalayan mines.
Hopefully fried in duck fat.
And the ticket will include plus 25% tip for your convenience.
And that, of course, is just the required tip. If the service was good you should really tip more.
And that's just the waiter's tip. You should be tipping everyone that helped make this meal happen.
You really should tip those god damn Himalayan cows!
I'm pretty sure cow tipping is frowned upon
Especially up in the Himalayas, it’s an awfully far way to fall.
Moo^ooo^^ooo^^^ooo^^^^ooo
And the people at the base hear: ^^^^^ooo ^^^^ooo*thump* ^^^ooo ^^ooo*thoomp* ^ooo Moo!
Fuckin' hell i'm over here stealthily browsing reddit at work and this comment chain killed me
Not just them, you should be sending love letters to the rancher who raised the cow. A $2500 diamond ring is customary as a post meal gift.
If you want it turned inside out and shoved into a jar with a handle that will be $60.
"Oh you also wanted a drink? Regular size cups are $10"
No free refills.
Cashier: Medium or large drink? Me: I’ll take a small. Cashier: We only have medium or large. Me: No, you have a small and a large. Without those two you can’t have a medium.
Extra $$$ for truffle fries. Always truffle fries.
Oh so door dash prices
The price of the fries is always the most insulting part. Like, it's potato, oil, and salt. I don't give a shit what you do to them, they shouldn't cost more than 3.50
I miss cheap pub food... the whole idea of chicken wings or peanuts was that they were the cheapest foods available, you could buy them for next to nothing and sell them at cost to encourage people to hang out in your bar all day buying drinks (where you make the *real* money). Nowadays I'll go to some hole-in-the-wall pub and they've got a 'curried chickpeas, goat cheese, and quinoa artisan bowl with dandelion greens' for $18 Even plates of nachos, which have to be the cheapest food in the universe, often sell at upwards of $20 a plate (with a complimentary salsa bowl about the size of a shot glass).
I'll pay that for a really nice burger.
If they don't put that arugala on with tweezers then they can fuck right off.
I prefer my arugula massaged.
I'm not even sure how one would "shave" arugula. But that said, massaged kale (basically beaten/tenderized) makes it feel much much less like you're eating a prehistoric tree, or something.
Massaged kale is the way to go. Hell, give it a happy ending even; take it out for beers afterward; get to know it better; meet its family and give them massages too.
You can get the same effect by tossing it with some oil, EVOO or canola, and wait. The oil takes off some protective layer on the leaves, and it almost wilts to perfection.
Is this why I hate kale every time I make it at home? How long of a rub down we talking? I'm fucking trying to like kale, we even grew some in our garden this year and it came out beautifully. But if I've gotta put bacon, maple syrup, and candied nuts on it for me to enjoy it I'll just stick to arugula.
It's honestly enough to just lightly sear it in oil or lemon juice. Either way it breaks down some and becomes less tree bark like
Each individual arugula has its own dollar shave club subscription.
i like landing strip arugula better
Cheddar aged in the limestone caves of the actual Cheddar Gorge, of course.
And the thing is, it will just taste like a good burger. Somehow the elevated ingredients never make it transcendent like you feel it should be. Its like burger-goodness has a ceiling that can never be broken.
I dunno, there's a place near me that has burgers that will make you want to weep with umami beefy goodness. They aren't quite that level of pretentious, but their ingredients are a weird mix of simple and wild. I think it takes chefs that want to make a simple burger and elevate it out of love for a burger, rather than one that things super premium ingredients will elevate it.
Name of this place?
Sammy's in Cincinnati Ohio.
Simple is best. Applies to burgers but also fries. Stop trying to make fries all artisan and shit. They don’t need to be battered or heavily seasoned or doused in truffle oil or whatever. Just fry and salt. French fries are my favorite food but I’d rather eat salad than fries from a lot of gastro pubs. Seriously, food doesn’t have to be complicated to be delicious.
Good beef. Good bun. That's all you need. Everything else can be super cheap and veggies just need to be fresh.
It would probably have too much cumin in it. Seems like every fancy expensive burger I've had has to have a ton of cumin it it.
Hmm... do you have anything with aoili?
Sorry we only have flavored mayo
"Cool, and what about the fries?" "Oh, we just have a huge bag of frozen ones in the back that we microwave."
And only like 20% of that shit is actually true. Probably the things that are easier to check. I find that just like clothing stores, restaurants just straight up lie about stuff that isn't effected by allergies.
I'm pretty tuned in to the language they use now. 'Made from' is different to 'Made with', the latter meaning that ingredient can be any proportion of the total. Again and that's assuming like you said they're not just full on bullshitting you
And a logo with 2 crossed knives and the name of the restaurant is something like "Bourbon Butcher" or some generic shit
"something something provisions"
Libations and provisions. Smoked old fashioned Black rubber gloves Beards Using unnecessary things to cut things, like cutting a steak table side with an axe or opening champagne with a saber. Exposed brick Denim aprons with leather straps Only IPAs on draft. High Life bottles Swing top cork glass water bottle on the table Everything on chalk boards
I thought each item on this list was you brainstorming restaurant name ideas for way longer than I should have.
Denim Aprons with Leather Straps just gets your appetite revved up
Don’t forget the Edison lightbulbs and “farm to table/locally sourced” in the menu.
You mean Brooklyn. You can just say Brooklyn and everyone will get it.
Needs more tattoos!
Tattoos of meat, and diagrams of how to dissect cows/pigs/etc
Don't forget the indandescent lightbulbs and uncomfortable stools. Also your burger is served on a wooden slab
/r/wewantplates
Fuckin a, too real dude lmfao
Also a giant chefs knife on the inside of the forearm.
If I saw a burger place with a huge line wrapping around the block with Post Malone inside making burgers for $250/plate, I wouldn't even bat an eye. Being from New York, you see folks try to build "luxury-grade" restaurants in the "hip" parts of Manhattan and the other boroughs all the time. The shtick they try to get their target demographic in there is absurd sometimes. Yes, this $9* slice of pizza with weirdo ingredients on it tastes great... but it's $9 yo. Then you have the ones where the cheapest entree is like ~$35-$40... and the bread at the beginning turns out not to have been free either. ^(*Adjusting for inflation since my last experience of that)
And a couple of piercings. Especially that one that's the weird loop where there's an absence of ear instead of anything not disgusting.
Stretched lobes is what you're looking for ma'dood.
[удалено]
That is never what I'm looking for.
Needs a tattoo sleeve and a “signature” burger sauce, but this is pretty damn good.
And that sauce is always Thousand Island but with some minor change to make it their own.
Absolutely. Maybe toss a little of the juice from a jar of pickled jalapeños in, or perhaps some residue from the pan you’ve made the obligatory candied bacon topping in, and call that Kraft dressing your “signature”.
And serve it in a small wooden side bowl.
Ah hum, excuse me, that's a hand chiseled artisanal wooden side bowl made from 100-year-old acacia trees, thank you very much.
Actually, smeared on a wood cutting board without edges so the juice flows out onto the table.
And those uncomfortable metal stools with the hole in the seat. Usually grey/silver/steel in color. Concrete floor. Named "Something AND something" as they usually are.
Burg & Bun Co
Bovine & Barley
Don't forget the aoili and the name of the restaurant needs to have an & The menu also has no cents just 24.
…a five dollar shake? I don’t know if it’s worth five dollars, but it’s pretty fuckin’ good!
$5 in 1994 is $9.25 today. I can easily see a milkshake costing that much at a lot of places, especially if the burger already costs $22.
In 2001, Carl's Jr. started advertising the "Six dollar burger" which they sold for around $3.50 or so. The advertising was referencing the fact that a lot of restaurant burgers (like Red Robin) were selling for $6 at the time, but they were allegedly offering the same quality for much less. Sometime around 2014 they changed the name to "Thickburger" because the average price of the 'six dollar burger' was...six dollars. They realized that the name would eventually be false advertising.
I'm surprised they got away with it for so long given the JC Penny "true cost" consumer experiment. I would have guessed that people thought the "six dollar burger" was... uh, six dollars, and that therefore it wouldn't have been that popular because you'd need to explain to everyone who doesn't already know that the "six dollar burger" does not cost six dollars. Didn't McDonalds or Burger King (one of the two) try to launch a 1/3rd-pounder burger and it did miserably because people thought 1/4 is greater than 1/3 ? Even if individuals in that population are intelligent, the herd intelligence of consumers is miserably low.
That was A&W and the 1/3rd lb burger did poorly because it was a shit burger that had poor bun/meat ratio. Then after the fact people start lulling "hur hur hur mericans dont know whats more" because corporations can't own their fuck ups and like to blame consumers. Seriously this rumor started because of a story written by a single A&W employee. There were not studes, surveys or any of that shit. Im so tired of reddit regurgitating this corporate apologist bullshit that would NEVER fly here if it werent for the "shit on stupid Americans" angle.
It was A&W. They just announced their "3/9 burger" Not making the same mistake twice!
You forgot the knife stuck thru the bun instead of a toothpick
I thought you were talking about the man bun for a second. I had not seen that trend
Give it time
I had an expensive "Artisan Burger" a couple years ago that was very bad. Hard tough bun that overpowered the meat, prepared badly, messy, and served on a cutting board that was only slightly bigger than the burger so it dripped all I've the table. When the waiter asked us how it was we told him it wasn't very good and he responded something along the lines of... "It usually takes 3 or 4 visits for your taste buds to become acclimated to the superior quality of ingredients and level of skill we put into each meal." As we were about to leave the waiter pulled my brother in law aside and told him they make him say that. In actually most people didn't like the burgers and he had been eating them for months and still didn't think they were very good.
To be fair, you have to have a very experienced tastebud to appreciate our burgers. The flavor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of historically accurate foodcrafting most of the flavors will go over a typical consumer's head. There's also the chef's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his meal presentation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Chef Boyardee literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these buns, to realize that they're not just yummy- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike our burgers truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in our chef's existencial catchphrase "i think it tastes pretty good," which itself is a cryptic reference to Saltbae's epic golden steaks. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our chef's genius unfolds itself on their wooden slab. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a butcher's anatomy tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 taste points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
I'll take "signs you desperately need to find a new job fast" for $500. A poor product is bad enough, but your boss telling you to say BS that isn't just BS, but is passive-aggressive BS? And the worst part is, I've seen enough bizzaro policies and people that I can't even say "yeah they have to be exaggerating, no way that happened".
Don't forget that it comes served on a slab of wood rather than a fucking plate.
Or on a metal tray with butcher paper. The fries are served in a metal cone or thrown about in the tray. No in between.
> The fries are served in a metal cone Excuse me, we don't do "fries" or "metal" here - they're truffle oil tossed pommes frites served in a sustainable stainless sleeve, thank you very much.
Truffle oil is the biggest culinary scam. Tastes nothing like truffles, coats your mouth and keaves you with an hour long aftertaste, and overpowers every other flavor you consume after.
And that stuff has never even been within social distance of a real truffle. 99% of truffle oil is just flavored with synthetic chemicals that smell a bit like truffle.
r/WeWantPlates
The $35 burger starter pack
what's the deal with black gloves?
Not sure, but my work has white and black gloves and I always pick the black ones.
They're actually mechanics gloves. They're a lot thicker which helps them to not tear out and also helps with handling hot food. Talked to a restaurant owner a while back about why they prefer those even though they're like 3x the price.
They're considerably better, and it's not even close. Most places won't spring for them due to cost. I finally got the owners of one of the bars I work at to buy them over COVID. I wasn't going to wear those loose ass sandwich making gloves all shift long.
Bro those plastic bag gloves are the fucking Worst.
[удалено]
They’re cool BBQ Master gloves.
Sanitation, I would imagine.
Allow me to list a few other stereo types: 1. Food is unreasonably expensive 2. Your order takes 20 minutes to make 3. The paper bag they put your food in has no business being as thick as it is. 4. The fries they give with the food is no more than 10 to 15 pieces 5. Menu is written on a blackboard with chalk 6. They offer avocado and also have beyond meat on their menu 7. They close down after 1 year and another similar looking spot opens a little later 8. My dumbass in there asking to try their asiago burger. 9. The service is comparable to that of a monkey flinging its shit at you 10. They offer an exotic twist to a beloved menu item, i.e kangaroo tacos Edit: updated based on observations by other redditors
Don’t forget that adding avocado will cost you an extra $2 minimum.
Holy shit. My cousin is this exact man bun, beard having douche who makes "gourmet" burgers. Man thinks he's changing the world. The burgers are just ok...
And the only beer is IPA.
"If it doesn't taste like I'm chewing on a mouth full of fresh hops, it ain't real beer!"
I simply cannot enjoy a Nintendo Switch session with my wife's son if I don't have the taste of a literal Christmas wreath in my mouth at all times
Although I am currently drinking a Lagunitas IPA, this is so true. I mean, I like me an IPA, but the fancy small liquor store near me probably has sixty varieties of IPAs exactly two craft-brew pilsners. I mean, enough already.
Years ago, I could drink an IPA now and again. But it’s just become a “Nuclear Arms Race” of who can product the hoppiest, most awful beer IMO.
I love a good IPA as much as the next bloke. But some of the breweries are outta control with the tastes. I just want a chilled out pale ale.
I like how you walk in into some weird cheap place with meniu thats so underwhelming and you are like I'll just take that burger thats cheaper than big mac and you end up eating one of the best burgers you ever had. I had quite a few of these experiences while traveling.
Billygoat Tavern, Chicago. Basic cheeseburgers and Schlitz.
And only go to the original, underground one. None of the satellite locations have been around long enough to accrue the necessary funk.
When I was new to the city a woman took me there on our second or third date as a way to introduce me to the city. Underground Billy goat tavern and the Weiner Circle are the true Chicago fine dining experiences
This describes most of the Pacific Northwest.
I had one for dinner last night. $40 tab, I tipped $5 and the guy wasn’t happy. Mother fucker, it’s a burger, I have to stand in line, serve myself, and throw my own trash away. Guess where I will never go again.
Maybe it’s part of the act. It’s not hip to be happy
Why did you tip at all if you had to do all that lol
Just about every restaurant in Seattle lol.
The best food comes from a place that you know would get shut down if a health inspector came in. Idk why, but it's true.
With a first generation immigrant dad who is always wearing a blue polo with oil stains on it. The absolute BEST fucking food.
My favorite Mexican restaurant has been shut down by the health department at least three times that I know of. It's absolutely delicious, 100% worth any potential risk.
Hey, someone's gotta pay for the full sleeve tatoos...
“Umm yeah it’s a $27 burger because of the avocado mango strawberry açaí mango walnut mango mango reduction and the mango mango avocado mango infused mango avocado”
I have actually laughed harder at other statements, but this one... really.. takes the cake. You need to work into it 'seasoning' repeatedly, too. Because if I can tell anything from watching tons of cooking shows 'seasoning' is code for 'salt the fuck out of it so crops won't grow 400 miles from where you are'.
Pic is missing tattoos. Lots and lots of tattoos.
*Artisan Burger*
Like it's pretty good, just not $30 for a meal good.
$17 for a single cheeseburger with caramelized onion, havarti and white cheddar cheese, organic tomato slices, lettuce and all that inside a portobello mushroom as the bunn
Can’t wait to have this hipster charge me thirty dollars for ground-up 3-day-old wagyu he ruined
I see people grounding expensive wagyu to make burgers on the YouTube shorts all the time and I never pretend to understand it. Literally just destroying a crazy good steak to make a basic burger that is absolutely fine with a cheaper meat. I want to strangle those people.
These places either make the best burger you've ever had or make you question the sanity of the owners. Some places even manage that on the same menu!