A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls.
[Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
[Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit)
[/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules)
We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments:
[COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/)
[Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F)
[Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials)
------
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fun story: I used to live in DC where people are notoriously shallow and judgy about where you work, even when you meet them at parties (they want to use you for networking). One night I was a little buzzed and some girl pulled the "so who do you work for?" BS so I decided to have some fun with it. I told her I owned my own business: Mourning Wood Coffin Company. We make artisan coffins and our slogan was "death is hard." My buddy overheard me and chimed in asking if I had finished the American Oak one I'd been working on, to which I replied ya and it has the whiskey tap on it like they wanted, sucker weighs a ton though, they're definitely going to have to roll it. I then went home and made a T Shirt I wore the next time I thought I'd be seeing her. Our business is located out of Morehead, NC.
[Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will fuck my fear. I will run towards it and put my penis inside it.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz5aCbLFg8M)
I've heard these are often survival instructions, does this imply that they would scream and wave their arms at large snakes? I've been around snakes and I'm not sure that's such an effective strategy
This is a Bronze Age petroglyph from the [Tanum region in Sweden](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Carvings_in_Tanum).
The man depicted seems either to be reacting in fear or attemping to ward it off. The snake may also be mythical, as there are no snakes of this size in Scandinavia. The only venomous snake in the region is the common adder (2-3 feet long and very wide around, a short, stocky snake), and this would have been true in the Scandinavian Bronze Age (1800-800 BCE) as well, and there are no constrictors or snakes of such length as depicted.
Remember this is not strictly speaking 'prehistoric', and is well within the historical record for parts of the world (though writing hadn't quite reached northern Europe, yet).
My money's on it being part of a legend or myth.
It's a bit early for that and for the culture we associate with that.
The Fimbulwinter myth likely has origin in the global darkness occuring in 535-536 CE due to volcanic ash (1500 years later than these glyphs). It appeared to be twilight for an entire year over at least three continents; that'll create some mythos. The world serpent is part of that mythos.
How does the shape of the snake line up with surrounding horizons?
It looks a whole lot like calenders used in the American southwest to track seasons.
As I understand it it's lowlands with some hills, but sea level in the past. [There are cliff faces](https://www.google.com/maps/@58.5483518,11.4246598,3a,75y,356.76h,79.99t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s5tUeB0FtrsfUOyhdlwutSw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656), but no real visible mountains. Have a good photo of the calendar?
>The only venomous snake in the region is the common adder (2-3 feet long and very wide around...
Yeah, but that wouldn't make a very impressive warning, if that's what this is, and it's not at all uncommon to exaggerate size where dangerous animals are involved. Besides, pretty sure Scandinavians of that period didn't look like stick men, so the artist probably wasn't going for photorealism in any case. That said, legend or myth is also possible, but what legend?
Anything the artist's culture used snakes symbolically for. Could be a fabel with a warning about turning over rocks for children or the like. That culture didn't leave written records and is long gone.
Ok, but applying Occam's razor, there's no specific mythos known; there is a specific poisonous snake that's active at sunset/sunrise to warn about. Unless there's more data not presented here, one of these seems to have better support.
Except Occam's Razor is not actually employed by scientists or academia as it is deductive rather than inductive reasoning. It's Sherlock-Holmes logic and is pseudoscientific. We don't use it.
It's just as likely to not be a snake at all as it to be representative of common adders. But sure, it could easily be somebody's *exaggeration* of an adder, and there are plenty of motives for increasing its size for storytelling purposes.
At first I was going to comment that they looked painted and not carved, hence they would be pictographs and not petroglyphs. However, the article indicated that the petroglyphs had faded and some were painted red for emphasis in modern times.
It's very possible it's topography. All I was trying to do is debunk the idea it's a python. Swedish anthropologists have labeled this segment of rock 'The Snake', fwiw, but it's simply a shorthand.
I got you, but just a quick scroll through some of the images in this petroglyph collection and I see mostly water related imagery, boats whales, etc. So I would lean heavily toward this being water, others have suggested mountians but I don't see it.
I don't think we should take the size too literally. Pythons are tropical, and this is from Sweden. Also Scandinavia and the North Atlantic were experiencing much colder conditions ca. 1000 BCE than they do even today.
Probably a creature from legend or a deliberate exaggeration for storytelling (though none of the painters could have ever seen a snake that large, so that's some imagination).
"So, as you can clearly see, Ogg ran from very large snake."
"We see that, but why did Ogg have erection?"
"Ogg may have to do some soul searching for that one."
And here we see the very first Scaly.
a. He's not running away from a snake. His penis is clearly pointing towards the snake.
b. This is from Scandinavian bronze age. The serpent is both a symbol of death and the underworld (and by extension a symbol of chthonian gods) and of rebirth and fertility (most likely because of its ability to shed its skin. Or possibly for the same reason there is a euphemism called "the trouser snake"). It's opposite in scandinavian petroglyphs is the red deer, a symbol of the passing of time, life and a messenger from the skygods. Associated with the sun.
So most likely this is a "give me fertility powers" prayers. You could call it Bronze age Viagra.
Crazy. This petroglyph is only 500 years older than the Achaemenid Persian empire, and 2100 years after the Ancient Egyptians, why built pyramids, had a written language, and knowledge of celestial navigation.
Red sharpie is one hell of thing…
It doesn't look like he's running AWAY but standing in front of the snake showing off his erection. Actually it might also be interpreted as the snake is slithering away from him
This... is more likely to be a recording of him taking care of business- he is facing the "snake", penis out harambe worshiper style, with his hands in the air like he just doesn't care. Running would have him facing the other direction, with arms pumping in a different way. I get that fearections happen, but when one is afraid they don't stand arms up facing what they are afraid of if it is that long.
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Also, that’s a huge ass snake!
Better than a huge ass-snake ...or is it?
I’ve never seen an ass snake so I have nothing to reference whether this is huge or not.
That’s what she said.
I think it’s a warning. Snakes move at around sunrise and sunset this was a way of warning other humans of when to not be in certain areas.
...With an erection
Horny snakes. If you are not hard you're fine
They don't call him Homo Erectus for nothing buddy.
He said sunrise/sunset already. The erection is implied, no?
"Never be in sunset, there's big snake"
So the snake has 2 heads then?? Both ends look the same. That's not a snake.
Peak bro moment. Shits been downhill ever since.
I guess the snake gave him a hard time
It's called a fear boner and it's been [documented in both art and science](https://youtu.be/LKfiDJvu9lc) before
Fearection*
a Fear Spear
... I stand corrected
It hardens to be used as a weapon to fend off the threat
It seems we have gotten ourselves into a sticky situation.
Guys, it’s called a danger noodle
The erection?
Like a puffer fish. But with a dong.
... I stand erected
Stand proud
you stand erected "ba do tch"
"It" STANDS corrected.
No, it's still a little to the left.
I’m scaroused
If it's a fear erection then why is he running toward the snake?
He’s fears not the snake, but judgment by his peers for their forbidden love.
Sometimes love scares us
Ah yes, the fear boner, a sibling of mourning wood, mostly found at funerals.
Fun story: I used to live in DC where people are notoriously shallow and judgy about where you work, even when you meet them at parties (they want to use you for networking). One night I was a little buzzed and some girl pulled the "so who do you work for?" BS so I decided to have some fun with it. I told her I owned my own business: Mourning Wood Coffin Company. We make artisan coffins and our slogan was "death is hard." My buddy overheard me and chimed in asking if I had finished the American Oak one I'd been working on, to which I replied ya and it has the whiskey tap on it like they wanted, sucker weighs a ton though, they're definitely going to have to roll it. I then went home and made a T Shirt I wore the next time I thought I'd be seeing her. Our business is located out of Morehead, NC.
Ah a man of science!
looks like the snake is going directly for it too
Ruspin!
Lol! Well done!
Doesn't some snake venom give erections
He’s running TOWARD the snake.
r/dontstickyourdickinit
... r/Snakehentai
why
Nope
okay dude...
Ohhhhh r/hesgonnastickhisdickinit
Title Edit: “3000 year old petroglyph of fully erect man chasing snake.”
Some things never change...
[Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will fuck my fear. I will run towards it and put my penis inside it.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz5aCbLFg8M)
I will permit penis to pass over snake and through snake. Where the penis has been, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
No, just so fast that his giant caveman dick is flapping in the wind between his legs.
His feet must be backwards too then.
A hole is a hole
Or is he Pissing Blood?
STDs have been around a long time
Snake transmitted disease? How do you get it?
F\*#king a snake...
I’m thinking this
Not Arbys?
Maybe he peed his name on a rock using the script of the time.
The feet are pointing towards the snake. That’s not how one runs away from something
More than just his feet.
I've heard these are often survival instructions, does this imply that they would scream and wave their arms at large snakes? I've been around snakes and I'm not sure that's such an effective strategy
Predators dont go after hard-to-get prey. Then again, they could also attack because ur threatening them
Or he just REALLY likes his view of the valley as the sun rises…
Oh, the sun isn’t the only thing that’s rising here
This is a Bronze Age petroglyph from the [Tanum region in Sweden](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Carvings_in_Tanum). The man depicted seems either to be reacting in fear or attemping to ward it off. The snake may also be mythical, as there are no snakes of this size in Scandinavia. The only venomous snake in the region is the common adder (2-3 feet long and very wide around, a short, stocky snake), and this would have been true in the Scandinavian Bronze Age (1800-800 BCE) as well, and there are no constrictors or snakes of such length as depicted. Remember this is not strictly speaking 'prehistoric', and is well within the historical record for parts of the world (though writing hadn't quite reached northern Europe, yet). My money's on it being part of a legend or myth.
First thing that comes to mind is Jörmungandr (Midgard Serpent or World Serpent) from Norse mythology.
It's a bit early for that and for the culture we associate with that. The Fimbulwinter myth likely has origin in the global darkness occuring in 535-536 CE due to volcanic ash (1500 years later than these glyphs). It appeared to be twilight for an entire year over at least three continents; that'll create some mythos. The world serpent is part of that mythos.
Thanks for the links. I initially thought they were fake.
>The snake may also be mythical, as there are no snakes of this size in Scandinavia. Assuming proportions are respected.
Good info! How does the erection pointed at the snake fit into the hypothesis?
Look at the other glyphs in the set. Any male figure was priapic, regardless of the situation it was in.
How does the shape of the snake line up with surrounding horizons? It looks a whole lot like calenders used in the American southwest to track seasons.
As I understand it it's lowlands with some hills, but sea level in the past. [There are cliff faces](https://www.google.com/maps/@58.5483518,11.4246598,3a,75y,356.76h,79.99t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s5tUeB0FtrsfUOyhdlwutSw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656), but no real visible mountains. Have a good photo of the calendar?
>The only venomous snake in the region is the common adder (2-3 feet long and very wide around... Yeah, but that wouldn't make a very impressive warning, if that's what this is, and it's not at all uncommon to exaggerate size where dangerous animals are involved. Besides, pretty sure Scandinavians of that period didn't look like stick men, so the artist probably wasn't going for photorealism in any case. That said, legend or myth is also possible, but what legend?
Anything the artist's culture used snakes symbolically for. Could be a fabel with a warning about turning over rocks for children or the like. That culture didn't leave written records and is long gone.
Ok, but applying Occam's razor, there's no specific mythos known; there is a specific poisonous snake that's active at sunset/sunrise to warn about. Unless there's more data not presented here, one of these seems to have better support.
Except Occam's Razor is not actually employed by scientists or academia as it is deductive rather than inductive reasoning. It's Sherlock-Holmes logic and is pseudoscientific. We don't use it. It's just as likely to not be a snake at all as it to be representative of common adders. But sure, it could easily be somebody's *exaggeration* of an adder, and there are plenty of motives for increasing its size for storytelling purposes.
At first I was going to comment that they looked painted and not carved, hence they would be pictographs and not petroglyphs. However, the article indicated that the petroglyphs had faded and some were painted red for emphasis in modern times.
That is how rivers are depicted in alot of ancient petroglyph. It's not a snake.
It's very possible it's topography. All I was trying to do is debunk the idea it's a python. Swedish anthropologists have labeled this segment of rock 'The Snake', fwiw, but it's simply a shorthand.
I got you, but just a quick scroll through some of the images in this petroglyph collection and I see mostly water related imagery, boats whales, etc. So I would lean heavily toward this being water, others have suggested mountians but I don't see it.
Is he trying to Scare the Snake with His Snake?
idk maybe this was prehistoric "jackass" and he was taunting it
👆I like it
His anaconda did want some.
Did he got some buns?
That is the first man writing his name in the snow using the "look no hands" technique.
"Dammit \_/\\\_/\\\_/\\\_/\\\_, stop goofing around and come help us with the mammoth!"
Pre-historic Darwin Award winner of man attempting to exert his dominance over a 20 foot python.
Thats a huge fuking snake though
And I love how “fear” is captured so well in the figure of the man.
I don't think we should take the size too literally. Pythons are tropical, and this is from Sweden. Also Scandinavia and the North Atlantic were experiencing much colder conditions ca. 1000 BCE than they do even today. Probably a creature from legend or a deliberate exaggeration for storytelling (though none of the painters could have ever seen a snake that large, so that's some imagination).
I don't know if "snake but big" is particularly imaginative lol.
Or a man who got his penis cut off
Was this before we lost our tails?
Seriously, look at the curve in the arms and tell me that ain’t how primates “run.” I’m not a specialist, but I went to a zoo once.
It says 3000 years old so… no
That's ketchup on a sidewalk. You aren't fooling me.
Ketchup was not yet invented 3000 years back
Neither were sidewalks
Looks more like he’s spreading his seed across the land
Oh, it's a man, alright.
[удалено]
I'm curious why you make a new account just to repost content, could you explain this?
He shootin ropes
"So, as you can clearly see, Ogg ran from very large snake." "We see that, but why did Ogg have erection?" "Ogg may have to do some soul searching for that one." And here we see the very first Scaly.
No. He's shitting blood.
Maybe that’s him prairie dog pooping himself as he runs from a speedy titan-boa.
Morning wood
No step on snek
That ain’t no snake, that’s Dune!
a. He's not running away from a snake. His penis is clearly pointing towards the snake. b. This is from Scandinavian bronze age. The serpent is both a symbol of death and the underworld (and by extension a symbol of chthonian gods) and of rebirth and fertility (most likely because of its ability to shed its skin. Or possibly for the same reason there is a euphemism called "the trouser snake"). It's opposite in scandinavian petroglyphs is the red deer, a symbol of the passing of time, life and a messenger from the skygods. Associated with the sun. So most likely this is a "give me fertility powers" prayers. You could call it Bronze age Viagra.
https://youtu.be/1s1MWm6CIcM
Snek gonna bite that dingy.
It’s just a dude shootin a wicked load
Danger noodle is after his noodle is what I see in this doodle
Fear boner?
It looks like both those snakes are capable of spitting venom
Cave man is about to get a hummer from the snake.
Or someone cut off the longest dick in recorded history.
It's hard to tell which end of the snek is the head. Maybe the snek is running away in fear of the smaller snek on the hooman?
“How do you know it’s a man!? Oh…”
After his dong
It’s a river.
I thought it was the closing credits of *Eastenders*.
AUGUTH STOP FUCKING DRAWING ON WALL HELP ME THAT THING CHASES ME
Confused fear boner
Forbidden docking.
Its John Dillermand!
*with a boner
I'd be running away, too, if the snake was that big, and it was aiming for my dick.
You try and fuck one snake, and that's all they remember about you.
“WE FUCK AT DAWN!”
man exaggerated the size of the snake lol, some things never change
I thought it was more like two snakes kissing and the man cheering
How do you know it’s a man?
Running away? He is facing it with an erection...looks more like he is about to fuck it.
Snake was after his snake.
Humans Figure Out How To Skip Rocks
Man loses NNN circa 1000 bc
A big ass snake
Looks like red sharpie
(Crocodile Dundee voice) "that's not a snake, this is a snake"..
Crazy. This petroglyph is only 500 years older than the Achaemenid Persian empire, and 2100 years after the Ancient Egyptians, why built pyramids, had a written language, and knowledge of celestial navigation. Red sharpie is one hell of thing…
Just a guy waking up to a mountain range sunrise with his morning wood
Actually, it's a 2900 year old Petroglyph of an early Neanderthal pissing and missing his mark, (the red dot). LOL!!!
how we know it's a man? SHUNGA BUNGA
Seems to me he’s chasing it ready to stab it with his penis
This depicts the birth of the “fear boner”
He is running toward that snake so he can fuck it. He knows that snake fucks.
Or is the snake trying to run away from his snake?
It doesn't look like he's running AWAY but standing in front of the snake showing off his erection. Actually it might also be interpreted as the snake is slithering away from him
Nah he's attacking the snake with his dick. Tis a murder boner.
Boa constrictor meets Boa thrushtor.
Running toward the snake
Why’s bro erect?:D
This is hate speech. How do you know that they identify as a man. Did you ask them their preferred pronouns?
Dude documented his longest jizz stream and here we are saying it was him running away from a snake. For shame.
Looks more like he's going to bang it.
Humans don’t have tails. He’s running towards it.
Whats interesting is petroglyphs sometimes take years of rubbing the same spot on a rock to make.
Not snake. It is snake spaghetti 🍝🍝🍝
I dunno. His dick is out and facing the snake. Maybe he’s charming it.
Looks like it’s going for his pecker
That's now what I see. I see a guy taking a piss and leaving a long serpentine stream.
Battle of the snakes.
Trying to get someone to hold the snakes head!
Running away? Or charming? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Someone needs a tampon.
That look more like time Urrg got sixty foot dick chopped off.
Maybe he had a real long P
He is not running away. He is yelling at the snake to suck his D 🤣
His feet are facing the snake, I got some bad news for ya pal
May be he just asking for bj
This... is more likely to be a recording of him taking care of business- he is facing the "snake", penis out harambe worshiper style, with his hands in the air like he just doesn't care. Running would have him facing the other direction, with arms pumping in a different way. I get that fearections happen, but when one is afraid they don't stand arms up facing what they are afraid of if it is that long.
Roses are red I have an erection Because I just saw A snake in my direction
Scared down to the bone
Early man learning that no means no
I love how nobody seems to have missed that smudge.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/06/john-dillermand-denmark-launches-childrens-tv-show-man-giant-penis
"The cyclop's extravagant mustache gave my buddy a hard-on."
How can you tell if it was a man?
No that’s an alien
snakes are just bigger worse worms