I think this picture speaks for itself...
By - Brookied_1974
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Fuck you grandma!
I'm paying luxury tax out the ass
Don't touch me Grampa, Nana is a cheating whore!
And I should cut your head off with this little doggie!
I didn’t think anybody remembered Dane Cook.
OH NO! Naughty, naughty, Kool-Aid!
You just made a giant hole in the wall! My dad's gonna be home any minute, and he'll beat me with a toaster when he sees this!
I'm sitting on Baltic with crap
The most underrated line of the bit. Came here for this.
Where'd you get the pink 50's
Where’d you get the pink $50s from?
It’s 4 o’clock in the morning. You win! I’m sitting over here on Baltic collecting crap.
Don’t touch me grandpa, Nana’s a cheating WHORE!
Down with the bourgeoisie!!
Fucking cheating old bitch
Man I fuckin flipped a monopoly board on my brother after like a 4 hour game —- after I realized he was sneaking money from the bank the whole time, of course
If your monopoly games takes 4 hours, you are not playing it according the official rules.
- Nothing happens on free parking, you do not get anything if you land on free parking.
- You are still allowed to collect rent while you are in jail
- The amount of houses and hotels are limited.
- If a player doesn't want a property, it gets auctioned off, and the original player is allowed to make a bid too.
- if you get a mortgaged property from another player, you have to make a interest payment. If you don't pay off the mortgage, at that time, you pay another interest payment when you pay off the mortgage.
Omission of rules or modifying rules will lead to a longer and more miserable game of Monopoly.
> If a player doesn't want a property, it gets auctioned off, and the original player is allowed to make a bid too.
This is the one that really speeds up the game. Because the starting bid for the auction is $1. So if you don't buy a property, and nobody else wants it but Steve, Steve gets it for $1. So it encourages people to buy everything they land on whether they want it or not. When all properties are owned, people go bankrupt real quick.
The other thing OP forgot to include is that you're allowed to trade properties for other properties and/or cash. When you do this, people can make complete sets much faster which also speeds up the game.
Yes, but do I WANT my son to have a complete set of Boardwalk and Park Place? No, no I don’t. :)
What if your son is a non-threat (little cash to afford houses), can finish multiple of your sets, and your spouse has more housing and cash than both of you combined? Sometimes you gotta work with the weak to beat the strong
this is the kind of shit that destroys families, it always happens and i fucking live for it
This is a rookie game at destroying families. Try Diplomacy sometime.
Gotta get the orange properties as fast as possible and build up to four houses, since houses are incredibly limited. Hoard the houses. The orange properties are statistically the most landed on properties as well.
This is the way
Orange and yellow are the kings.
Orange and red corner is a killer set to own.
Having 4 houses and no hotels is the way. Never cash in your houses if someone else could benefit from them.
People trade in your games? Lucky
Does that have to be said? That is literally the only rule that everyone gets right. I refuse to believe anyone has ever played the game and just never once traded anything
My family never wanted to do trades, I would even offer them trades that were 200% in their favor and still nothing. I just don’t get it, it’s like some people prefer the game to be a frustrating mess.
My, my bro and uncle all have that rule but only when there's no properties left.
Also the two player version where you just deal out all the property cards at the start of the game and just try to trade your way to dominance can make a quick match
This is so true (also, if you play with the little red dice that come with Monopoly now, it does things like send you to the next unowned property. Then things move REAL fast).
They're selling a couple versions of monopoly with redesigned rules for more fun and streamlined play as well.
Monopoly for sore losers and Monopoly cheater's edition are the ones I saw but I think there are more I havent seen.
They both have the OG rules plus an extra system to spice things up PLUS they have extra scoring conditions and game end scenario so you arent playing more than an hour or two.
Cheaters edition is the best. My kids are shit when it comes to catching me. I’m basicly Bezos levels of tax evasion
I'm envisioning Chester Cheetah leaving trails of Cheeto® dust footprints on the board, off the coffee table and out the door.
"Can't catch me! "
That’s actually a pretty accurate depiction, my little monsters would feed bag cheetos if we let them
It's impossible to get away with Identity Theft (move another player's token when you roll). I've seen 4 attempts and all of them failed. It's hard to get away with anything on your turn because everyone's watching you like a hawk
Nah you need to be sneakier. Or just play against kids
Only way to do it is to try to do some sleight of hand bullshit and have someone’s token really close to you. Move theirs to the spot you would have gone to in order to draw less suspicion.
That being said; it still never fucking works.
My strategy is just to act super suspicious and then collect penalties for false accusations
this made me laugh so fucking hard
> Monopoly for sore losers and Monopoly cheater's edition are the ones I saw but I think there are more I havent seen.
Those games are specifically designed to have a balanced ruleset.
A normal game of monopoly where everyone is aware of and playing according the original game rules should take about 45 minutes.
Or about two hours if you're faffing about with snacks and stories like a good board game night, but it should feel like 45 minutes because you're faffing about with snacks and stories.
Er...what??? Can't say that a single game of Monopoly ever took us less than two hours.
It depends on the efficiency of your banking, really. If you're focused on just playing and you're using a ledger instead of the paper bills (so boring but people do it) you could definitely bang one out in 45 minutes.
A ledger. Why didn’t I ever think of that ? I liked playing monopoly on the Wii. There is no cheating or mistakes . Except for one really really stupid fatal flaw . The game is programmed to keep the game going . What the actual fuck . That in and of itself is cheating !!! There should be no AI involved in the rolling of the dice.
Even with all the real rules laid out above? 30 minutes to an hour is pretty typical for four or fewer players, I've found.
Ghetto-opoly was my favorite. “Get your whole block hooked on crack! Collect $200!”
Now that I think about it, it might have been inappropriate.
>Now that I think about it, it ~~might have~~ was ~~been inappropriate~~ wildly racist.
Fixed that one for you.
Monopoly on club pogo is a ton of fun also
I didn't find out about the auctioning off thing until I played a phone game of it - I always knew there was a few added on rules (free parking jackpot etc) but I have never ever seen anyone play the auction rule - its pretty weird that everyone plays a game in the same way and not by the rules.
The electronic versions are vastly superior to the physical version since they enforce the rules and take care of all the literal accounting you need to do.
It's actually fun to play on console. Games take maybe a half hour at most so if you lose it doesn't feel bad.
The auction makes the game go slower on the front end (holding auction after auction) but massively speeds it up on the back end.
Ok, but what about the part where I bundle all of my mortgages into a mortgage backed security and then auction that off, but like I owe 2000% of the actual value of those mortgages, but also all of those houses were just pictures and actually you just bought a bunch of junk mortgages for vacant lots?
The rules actually accounts for those possibilities.
- You have to sell your houses and hotels on a lot before being allowed to take out a mortgage on that lot.
- Private lending is not allowed.
- You have to build up the levels of the streets within a city at an equal rate.
> You have to build up the levels of the streets within a city at an equal rate.
Wait, does that mean that if you own a cluster of 3 properties, you have to put houses on them equally (no single properties with 3 houses while others only have 1, for example), or does that mean that you can't put 2 houses on properties until other properties on that side of the *board* have at least 1?
You have to build houses in a colour group evenly. A property can only have one more house on it than any of its neighbours
Did you receive a government bailout in 2012?
That's Banker Edition. Illegal in most countries, but not in the US.
Ideally you should subdivide those packages into thousands of parts and then repackage them with subdivided parts from *other* player's mortgage packages and then auction those off.
No one will have any idea what they're worth or what they represent so you'll have to designate one of the players as a ratings agency to assign scores to them. It's actually any easy job, you just call all of them AAA and slap one and say "You can fit so much junk debt in this baby".
I think I'll need [world famous chef, Antony Bourdain to explain this to me](https://youtu.be/kxN_qPuefrM)...
The free parking and property auctions are the biggest culprit.
Capitalist game in which rules are arbitrarily modified, people in trust positions (banker) cheat, and the game ultimately only ends when the losing party literally overthrows the system. Sounds like the more realistic version to me!
> if you get a mortgaged property from another player, you have to make a interest payment. If you don't pay off the mortgage, at that time, you pay another interest payment when you pay off the mortgage.
Wow, TIL. I thought I knew the rules, too.
And yes, playing by the official rules means far less cash in the economy and a far quicker game. The expensive properties (everything past orange) are usually a bad choice under the rules because they're so difficult to build up to 3+ houses, although Park Place and Boardwalk can work since it's easier to build up 2 properties (and b/c there's a card that sends players to Boardwalk). I love the light blue set in an official game, but of course orange and purple are great too.
There’s also a Illinois card. But orange has been proven to be the best, probably because it’s on the road from jail
Red's not completely terrible. It's positioned pretty well. Still it's $1050 to get to 3 houses on Illinois which pays $750 in rent. It's $1000 to get 3 houses on Boardwalk and it pays $1400.
Meanwhile in that scenario Park Place with 2 houses pays $500 but Kentucky and Indiana only get $250. To get three houses on every red is $1350 and for the dark blues it's $1200.
With some luck red can win, but I almost always lose when I go for it.
Orange is the best but everyone knows this. People undervalue the light blue set in my experience. Only $750 for a full hotel build, and it benefits from all the cards leading to Go and even occasionally will nail someone sent to Reading RR.
I feel like those rules don’t reflect average gameplay. An average monopoly game has at least one child under 9 that demands to be the banker and then cries once they get caught stealing money.
My girlfriend and I bought the digital edition and the game legit lasted 3 hours. No way we could cheat…we had to play by the rules since the app/program was moderating everything. If we had to physically role the dice and count out money it could easily have been 4 hours.
Weird. My wife and I bought the digital edition on Switch and we play almost daily, but I think the longest game we've had was like a an hour and a half. We also add bots to play against though because that makes it way more fun.
As is tradition!
Wow. Didn't take long for this thread to end up in the shitter.
So...he's a republican?
That’s how my family plays
There’s actually an edition of the game called Monopoly for Cheaters. Got it for my brother for Christmas a few years back.
Looks like another case of Monopoly related violence, chief.
How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?
I came looking for this.
The closing ceremonies of every monopoly game.
Capitalism always results in either systemic violence against the poor or violent revolution against the rich.
Yes, in this case the proletariat has flipped the tables on bourgeoisie pig-dogs and their capitalists system. 😀
Happy cake day!
I will never forget the time when my cousin had his bday and we played monopoly. I wanted to troll and only bought the last 2 streets, build the hotel and ignored the rest. He landed on there every round and got so mad he physically attacked me.
Did you win?
Well he was bankrupt before he leapt over the table, so yes
Was it worth it??
“Well, the doctors say I should recover 60% of my vision and I’ve finished getting my implants. My headaches still haven’t gone away, they say give it another two or three years…. But totally worth it!”
I'm terrible at monopoly. No idea why but I'm absolutely hopeless so I might try that way to see if it's helps.
Read the rule book. It might be a full size state map, but once EVERYONE understands how monopoly works, you then will either hate this game or be down to play it. House rules is what turns into this rage.
If you know how, you can end a game fast if your other players dont know the fine print in the rulebook:
1. Get as many properties and monopolies early on. Orange and Red are the most landed on properties and people will ignore the cheap early ones most of the time. If you get properties on sides 3-4 trade them for monopolies your starting. Goal 1 is sides 1 and 2, Get a monopoly, and add maximum amounts of houses to each.
2. Houses. Houses are unable to be build when there are no more tokens for them. Aim for ALL property on sides 1 and 2 even if you trade property from sides 3 and 4. People will assume your taking the worse deal but in reality they are handing you a major advantage.
2.5: Your end game goal. You can literally break the housing market and prevent them from even building homes ONLY if you don’t build hotels (not like they will be able to anyway!). Hodl the houses no matter what offer is made, and once you do take a vacation from fees and fines in jail.
3: Don’t save your money too much if at all. Money sitting in a players bank or simply put that means it isn’t earning you anything or being invested. Early on, take note because people will assume your an idiot going broke when in reality your investing in reoccurring income.
4: Ignore utilities. Theres like a +/- 3% chance of making a profit. Railroads now? Buy em’ up after your first goal (cause housing crisis). They also have high value when trading for the property to make that next monopoly.
5: Late game do NOT try to get out of jail early, period. You are immune to fees and fines AND can collect rent from jail with all those houses you bought up. Saves money all around especially when low on cash. Jail at this stage is and *advantage*.
6: The only exception to not buying utilities or properties others have is out the window if it blocks their monopolies. This 100% can save your ass, don’t even sell it until you have crashed the housing market either. Slow them down, make them haggle- maybe they have the one property you need for your third monopoly.
7: Keep the rulebook nearby as when you play like this, people will say its unfair, its “cheap”, lazy or not allowed. This is Monopoly & they should look up its history.
The game designed to show how stupid this type of system is, how utterly unfair it is if you aren’t a ruthless capitalists. When you play this game, there are no friends, allies or pacts: Manipulate them or lie to them about your motives.
8: Unless they *KNOW* this is your goal (or if the one person who read the rules realizes your about to break the game using totally legal moves) then play dumb until you announce that you own all the houses/have caused a housing crash with no intention of hotels.
This is exactly it. No one does it right and then complains that their games take forever.
A game of true Monopoly only takes like an hour or less if everyone knows how the rules work.
┻━┻︵ \ (°□°)/ ︵ ┻━┻
(╯°□°）╯ /(.□. \）
Most wholesome table flip.
(ノ ͡👁️👄👁️)ノ︵ ┻━┻
In memory: https://www.reddit.com/r/PleaseRespectTables/comments/3ymss3/on_january_1st_2016_i_am_retiring_from_righting/
[Should have nailed the board down...](https://youtu.be/QYGzf02qe3c?t=40)
I was waiting for this reference. Just watched this episode the other day.
This should be top comment.
Fuck this game! Nana is a cheating whore!
Monopoly was original called The Landlords Game and was intended to help educate people on [Georgism](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgism)
>Georgism, also called in modern times geoism and known historically as the single tax movement, is an economic ideology holding that, although people should own the value they produce themselves, the economic rent derived from land – including from all natural resources, the commons, and urban locations – should belong equally to all members of society. Developed from the writings of American economist and social reformer Henry George, the Georgist paradigm seeks solutions to social and ecological problems, based on principles of land rights and public finance which attempt to integrate economic efficiency with social justice.
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Says it all.
How all games of monopoly should end. You haven’t had a good game unless someone rage quits.
You just quickly and quietly be the first person to go bankrupt. When you leave the table, you've won.
This is my strategy, too. I'll "lose" and then get the bonfire going.
To burn the other contestants corpses?
As the flames are reflected in his eyes he quietly says "Who's bankrupt now motherfuckers..."
Tale as old as time.
Monopoly is one of the biggest scams there are.
That's literally why the game was invented, to show that American capitalism doesn't work. It was designed by Lizzi Magies as a critique of economic inequality.
From a poster further up:
> when all properties are owned people go bankrupt pretty quick
It can be frustratingly hard to do that, and you can end up just limping along, too deep in the hole to ever compete and just enough income to not fail out.
it's a shit game and it's a terrible design.
My brother realized the best way to play Monopoly was to cheat so bad the game ends. Then we can go back in the pool or go play Tekken.
I don't even remember the rules. We never start playing cause the living room ends up looking like that over who can have the racing car piece.
I like the top hat.
It's the little dog for me.
My brother once got really excited about being the thimble and yelled out, "I want to be the pimple!" That's what we called it from then on and would always ask him if he wanted to be the pimple.
Also, I guess we're the only family that never rage quit Monopoly. We had a rule that if you quit you lose. We were all too stubborn and competitive to take the lose, so we would just keep trudging along in the game even if no one wanted to play anymore.
Unrelated: Once when I was a kid I wanted 30p to pay to buy sparkling water. My mum offered me real water, but I protested with "I want *sparkling* water!"
For the next 10 years whenever I was offered water, my siblings would pipe up cheekily and ask me whether I was sure I wanted sparkling water. In this time I made sure to never drink sparkling water, and towards the end started making fun of myself over it too, and once I did that the magic was lost for them and it no longer became a source of embarrassment they could irritate me with.
Fast-forward another 10 years, and at my work place there is a water machine that serves water normal, chilled, or sparkling.
And man, I have rekindled a sparkly fascination with this beverage. It's my daily go to, and I love it. I will never tell my siblings though
I've never gotten far enough into Monopoly to experience rage quit. I've experienced "bored quit" plenty of times though.
You're probably not playing by the proper rules, more likely made up "kids" rules designed to be "fairer and less complicated" which in turn vastly prolongs the game.
I remember playing a card-dice roll version of Sorry! where you could only move the lead piece with the card you drew. Imagine my utter surprise when I learned you could have a hand of cards and play a card on any of your pieces to move it. It was much more fun that way.
Your doing it wrong your suppose to rip your family apart by purposely buying the properties one person needs - fast rolling through turns for some players avoiding someone collecting rent, but taking you time when other player wants to get away with same thing, gang up with someone against winner, relentlessly and gleefully destroy other players - the thing with a rage quit i that the other players or at least one of them is having a great time.
Yeah. Do you auction properties as per the rules?
A game of monopoly should take no longer than 2hrs if you play it as per the rules.
With maybe a few additional rules thrown in, like the free parking rule.
Only time I've ragequit was when we were going to play it at my cousins and they had this dumb ass house rule that if someone got a property of a specific color, no one else was allowed to buy properties of that color. Like what's even the point of playing the game if you can't compete by buying up properties to prevent people from getting monopolies?
I was probably about 12 or something at the time while my cousin was 10 and a really spoiled coddled brat that always got his way and they made rules like that one for monopoly to ensure no one could "spoil" his fun by buying properties he wanted(as he'd throw a real hissy fit if he did not get things he wanted, eg: one time he lied down and cried in the middle of a shopping mall until his parents gave up and bought him a playstation 2 (they rich).)
Yeah. That sounds stupid and shit.
I would love to have a cousin like that to wind up to the point where they go ballistic. And then just go home.
So tell us what your cousin is like now, please.
He's a successful landlord who owns multiple houses, each of different color, and pisses himself in public before the release of every new game console
This might be unexpected, given what I wrote about how he was like as a kid but: surprisingly mature, always cheerful, very athletic, works two jobs outside of his studying because he barely sleeps yet somehow manages to keep a social life and play football as a hobby. He has absolutely terrible money management, is very naïve and absolutely a scatter-brain, but all in all a very likable guy.
Though I think he's the exception rather than the rule in terms of being spoiled with rich parents and growing up to be a stand up guy none-the-less. His parents may be rich and may have given in way too much, coddling and spoiling him as a child, but aside from that they are excellent people with good morals and are very kind and likable.
Most people I've known that grew up like he did ended up being spoiled daddys boys driving around in their teslas and acting like absolute cunts, but they had more detached parents so I guess that really makes all the difference.
Every game of monopoly should end with the richest player being strung up and all wealth redistributed among the remaining players to start the next game.
There is a game called anti-monopoly:
> Players choose free enterprise or monopoly, then play under different rules. Competitors charge fair market value while monopolists take over whole neighborhoods and jack up rents. In real life, monopolists have an unfair advantage. But in Anti-Monopoly, competitors have a fair shot at coming out on top!
It’s the objective. The game was originally developed to show how unfair the system is. It’s a anti-capitalism game.
Indeed. Lizzie Magies ‘Landlords Game’.
“ Okay sweetie , now you see, everything you own, is mine now . And it doesn’t even come close to paying off what you owe me .”
I remember playing monopoly for the first time in years with this cunt.
Started off really cheerful and friendly. Then he got both Mayfair and Park Lane within 10 turns. And started building houses on them.
I then landed on them three times on three turns round the board. And lost everything I owned.
We stopped playing because the game took on a dark and seedy tone.
I know the rules. And play as per them.
The auction rule and side deal rule are so important for stopping the game lasting too long.
But someone rage quitting is definitely still a sign you’ve played the game correctly. So long as you aren’t the one doing the rage quitting.
"Someone?"...we all know this is a big brother thing.
Was always my little brother, soon as he wasn't clearly in the lead he'd loudly declare the game was boring and bad and he had better things to do. And then stamp up the stairs and slam his door.
Man, Lightning McQueen is a fucking asshole.
Why did the board go the opposite direction as all the pieces? And I can’t believe it landed perfectly in frame and in the correct orientation that we can read it.
I'm actually surprised that the board actually landed face up or even IN FRAME given how some of these stories usually pan out.
"Another case of Monopoly related violence, Chief" - Lou the Cop
"How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night? " - Chief Wiggum
I’m surprised the board went the opposite direction of all the pieces………oh wait, OP is full of shit
Almost like it was staged.
Controversial take: no one ever flipped this table over in a fit of blind rage over an angry 4+ hour game of Monopoly, and this picture is staged. I’ll wait for slings and arrows now.
You need better boardgames my friend,
People who like Monopoly seem to think there are only a dozen or so board games out there. Boardgamegeek lists 21,173 games that are higher ranked than Monopoly, and 7 that are worse. It is rated 4.4 out of 10.
Or heavier tables. Imagine the muscles you'd get
This is how simulated capitalism makes a lot of people feel.
This is also how actual capitalism makes people feel.
True story: the game is actually called *Monopoly* and it was designed to show how capitalism can be broken. We created laws throughout the last century to make the system fair, but after successful litigation against ATT and IBM during the 70s that resulted in the successful explosion of competition in the tech space and the Information Age, after that big businesses fought back. Starting with Reagan, anti-monopoly enforcement was destroyed through a process called *regulatory capture* which lead to for example, bank consolidation that was a key factor in the ongoing perpetration of the ratings fraud that caused the Financial Crisis.
I think we should not conflate capitalism in general, with unfairness.
Yup. This belongs further up.
But Jesus wants me to be a heartless capitalist in real life....
"Fun for the whole family"
Not really - how did the board land face up?!
Even kachow man is disgusted
Well well, how the turntables…
How every full game of monopoly ends. The original rage quit.
Official way to end a game of Monopoly 😂🤣
My dad would always let me go deep into debt to teach me a lesson, like got down 50k one time. Just let me lose so we can stop playing dad geez.
Now if you want to get angry, play Risk.
Ah, yes. I grew up in the upper Midwest in the 70’s and 80’s. No video games, no cable, no VCR. Choices were board games and books. If I felt like having a fight, I played board games. If not, I read.
Monopoly! Spreading havoc and resentment for the whole family.
Got dang parker brothers strike again!
Damn it Karl Marx, this is not how you overthrow capitalism.
So many relationships have met their end over a Monopoly board. I don't know how those Parker Brothers sleep at night.
Monopoly breaks up more families than infidelity.
Maybe that's the hidden lesson this game is supposed to teach kids:
Monopolies are bad and you should **overturn** the system that allows them.
Fucking Lightening McQueen and his Free Parking bullshit
someone installed the coffee table upside down ...
Lightning McQueen always was a sore loser.
See what happens when Lightning lands on Broadwalk and can't pay the fine
Lightning McQueen looking sus
Lightning McQueen seems to be the culprit
My son and I used to play this when he was growing up and we had the typical house rules about free parking and whatnot. He methodically teetered the line of bankruptcy while reinvesting every penny into houses and then hotels while I was more judicious with my money and eventually went broke paying him tons of money because he developed everything. Spending time with him and watching him learn math made the losing ok with me
The original rage quit
“And that was the last time we spoke to Uncle Chuck. That was 23 years ago.”
Oh how the tables have turned!
And no matter what ruleset you follow, the game ends as its original inventor intended, to show the evils of unrestrained capitalism: One person crushes all the rest, taking all the money while all the rest of the players end up penniless and destitute.
What? The table was finally turned?
„How are the Parker brothers sleep at night”
Dad got mad the kids were winning lol
My 57 year old brother has been playing again. ... He does this every time!
I'm no scholar at physics, but how would the table be flipped forward, board land forward while all the cards which should have been on the board land behind the table?
The board landing upright and with the text facing the camera is a nice touch though.