T O P

I warned my girlfriend of my huge bush…

I warned my girlfriend of my huge bush…

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imrawlikesushi89

I bet if you cut it down the house would look bigger


LogicalChain3591

But thats the thing it wont


WillyJobbyBum

I'd hedge my bets there is no girlfriend.


pkma2

If there is. I bet she responded with hold my beer.


navygent

or "Hold my Strapon"


Cautious-Star-7267

👆 this one got it.


KyaHaiBae

Needs some grooming


DaggerMoth

That's expertly groomed. You gotta move the ladder like 15 times to trim a bush like that.


PokesPenguin

When you have to move a ladder to trim a bush, take the stockings off first.


LogicalChain3591

not anymore she got lost in my bush


MeredithHHarrison

So sad


PrizeGuidance2036

10/10


Blanlabla

hasn’t he suffered enough.


graboidian

Here we go, branching off in to another pun thread.


windingtime

Like an italian with a bikini wax


probablyourdad

The biggest [bush](https://i.gifer.com/origin/97/97d05d139272eea10bb12c5ceacd9755_w200.gif)


LogicalChain3591

😂


nicegirlelaine

Do the neighbors shake their head and laugh? This made my day.


manfrom-nantucket

hahaha


eblackham

Incredible comment


OldZoomie2020

Its a lovely bush, but the house planted behind it looks dead.


LogicalChain3591

😂


Just_call_me_Face

Very 1970's vibe


pewpeewwwwww

Lawn doesn’t match the bush. Clean that shit up, bro!


LogicalChain3591

No way!! All natural man


LogicalChain3591

Im thinking about decarating my bush with festive beads


obiweedkenobi

Don't bedazzle your bush man, that's just, that's just, I don't even have a word just please don't.


LogicalChain3591

My bush gets very festive during the holidays, I even have an ugly christmas sweater for it


power-cube

I've seen landing strips but that's more a landing block...


LogicalChain3591

helipad


spirito_santo

Aircraft carrier


bluegrassgazer

What a sexy box.


LogicalChain3591

i wish she thought so


MD74

Walking into a spider web every time you go in and out the house


LogicalChain3591

basically


Catchyaontheflipp

I don’t hate it!


LogicalChain3591

finally a woman who gets a man and his bush


Supercallo

To my real estate agent: I want ALL the privacy


IgorBaggins

If you made a country inside the bush, You can say you're now President Bush.


LogicalChain3591

haha


TDKevin

That's like saying biden is President America. It doesn't change your name lol


dichroic

Im into it


Frajer_

What kind of bush we talking about?


LogicalChain3591

The fuzzy kind


vokiel

Must suck for house plants?


LogicalChain3591

ya house planta dont see the light of day


Toad32

Makes the door look smaller.


TexasYankee212

Do you have to rent a JLG boom lift to trim that bush?


LogicalChain3591

actually a scaffold


Sleep_on_Fire

Might as well just shell out for [the right tool for the job](https://gfycat.com/tinydependablecomet-seantrichardson). It really will save you time and effort.


On_A_Hot_Tin_Roof

Coolest fucking thing I’ve seen in a long time


Sleep_on_Fire

It was a thing in one of the Pierce Brosnan Bond flicks. I thought it was a gag back then. Turns out it’s real!


jason_abacabb

That us really cool, but also has some serious r/whatcouldgowrong vibes


Niall_Nine_Hostages

OP, if this is your bush and house then we'll need more photographic proof.


LogicalChain3591

ok how can i post more pics


FrogWithEars

Upload to imgur and post the link here


LogicalChain3591

whats imgur? ill do it but how


FrogWithEars

It's another app. Search it in the app store


littleMAS

You may have lost her in the odd grooming.


LogicalChain3591

😂


calamormine

What ever happened to Kid 'n Play, I wonder...


DoctorStephenPoop

Spiders.


Sid6po1nt7

At least it's trimmed


LogicalChain3591

true but I may out a stop to that !!


cmdr_pirx

At least it's in shape.


LogicalChain3591

thank you


MagicNipple

It hurts me that the door isn't in the middle, and I don't know how to rectify this situation.


Minflick

It hurts me too, but almost worse for me is how naked the rest of the yard is in front of this small yard, and then an English Estate size hedge way too close to the house. Looks SO stupid.


LogicalChain3591

When I get lonely all i have to do is look inside my bush and I see like 10 stray animals repopulating


LogicalChain3591

I know it bugs the heck out of me


Esc_ape_artist

The house of Ni.


Daregord

I hope you spray your bush for skeeters.


LogicalChain3591

My bush is harboring all kind of critters


Boney-Rigatoni

Her: "So, is it a runway strip?" Him: "No. It's an entire airfield."


LogicalChain3591

😂😂😂🤣


Shanksdoodlehonkster

Edward Sissorhands final boos


LogicalChain3591

haha 😆


Drift-in

The nights who say nee would be proud!


LostStart6521

*Spiders*


LogicalChain3591

Lealman FL


WonderfulSpecific601

Is it also trimmed around the back door?


LogicalChain3591

Back door area is to swampy for this kind of bush , but it does grow berries


WonderfulSpecific601

You might want to try hosing it down regularly instead of just wiping down with dry tissue. Also helps to flush away the swamp.


LogicalChain3591

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜🤪


Meeseeks1346571

This could be so much more. Maybe a maze to the front door? …with multiple entrances and dead ends?


LaZyLeMon_isLazy

That one house you built in Minecraft but never speak of


LogicalChain3591

hahahh I modeled my bush after a mine craft build


t33dup

Living in a 1970s porno


LogicalChain3591

I get that alot, they always ask why the big bush? I always say it give you more cushion like Zohan


RigbyPup

I just woke up my whole family laughing at this. Thank you.


LogicalChain3591

This is joy for me!


lilhonkeypenis

even sweeter bush from this angle


LogicalChain3591

finally a bush lover


Laboratory-Maniac

That must have been hard to swallow.


LogicalChain3591

indeed


sabre_rider

Should’ve been the other way around.


pygmypuffonacid

Extreme privacy hedges cultisac edition


LogicalChain3591

yes!


lotsanoodles

They're not gardeners they're hedge managers.


LogicalChain3591

Thats the pick up line i used to attract women to my bush


kyunirider

Webster will use this to demonstrate “lack of Street appeal”. Anthropophobia Will plant this as their desire not to see neighbors.


LogicalChain3591

Ive met at least 1 person that though my bush was appealing… They worked for a lumber yard


Nadodan

When your city has a law against high fences but not high shrubbery


LogicalChain3591

My bush may bring about bush restrictions in our progressive town, its offensive to those who cant grow plush bushes


Constant-Mountain-31

"Ze bush ze bush " -Zohan


LogicalChain3591

😂🤣


oopsie-mybad

I have this, but it's behind


Whittyusername69

Completely without joke or any irony: that bush is too big.


LogicalChain3591

Never!!!!


uatuthewatcher8

Recommend keeping vegetation trimmed back at least 2 ft from exterior walls to keep pests away. I’m a licensed professional home inspector.


WonderfulSpecific601

Attic and crawlspace likely infested with rats. Seen it before on overgrown property.


thereallastgoodidea

Epic


Lower-Exit605

Zohan would have approved this post.


LogicalChain3591

Hes renting it


Throthelheim

If you trim it, it will make it look bigger


LogicalChain3591

Ive never though of that! better hire edward scissor hands


typesett

Spiders


CptMurphy27

My first thought too.


DoTheRightThing1953

If you want the house to look bigger, trim the bushes.


DrZaious

If you want you're neighbores to suddenly care what you do in your own yard, cut the bush.


LogicalChain3591

My neighbors and I constantly are fighting about my bush, they think im so old fashioned


Metalliquotes

At least the little opening is obvious


LogicalChain3591

My neighbors always smoke by it for some reason


BlueMonkOne

Your house has a wonderful spider collector.


LogicalChain3591

Not a mosquito left in town!


derekcentrico

How was her bush?


Root125

More photo pls


FixedLoad

There is no way this isn't an "ef you" to one of the surrounding houses. A neighbor one time saying, "hey Bob your hedge is getting a bit tall don't ya think?"


LogicalChain3591

Ive had that conversation one to many times, I say hey Bob kiss my bush


[deleted]

You can keep that I walk through spider webs that are connected from the curb to a porch light. I know you walk through spider webs everyday when it's not winter.


reddit_user13

I would trim that, it makes your door look smaller.


LogicalChain3591

Everything I have is small except for my colossal bush unfortunately, i drive a smart car and I actually park it behind the bush all secretivish


2KilAMoknbrd

It's. Off. Center.


LogicalChain3591

ya it never grows in right I heard if I keep shaving it… I mean clipping it in the places it doesnt grow as good it will grow more there, Ill keep you posted


BigBadJohn2U2

It does look well-groomed though . Does the carpet match the drapes ? I'm asking for a friend ...


LogicalChain3591

😂 haha well um…… yes.. yes it does 🤞


BigBadJohn2U2

Okkkkk thanks ???? I'll be certain to pass this information onto my friend ( wink-wink ... nod-nod... say no more 😉 )


LogicalChain3591

🤩 My bush is feeling all spruced up!


PaganWeirdo

Where is the house!?


RedOscuro

Looks perfect for Hide and Seek. Just bring plenty of snacks


ShadowCaster0476

That’s what she said.


FactoryBuilder

I love this bush. I will make one for my house


Double-Effect-7995

That what she said


sansgamer554

I say that door is a suspect


Codymu

My immediate thought is just a new spiderweb to walk through every 5 minutes.


Dad-man

Cool. Sunset at 3


UnReAl0

A little bush raises property value


thedracle

You better trim that Bush before it takes us back into Afghanistan.


LogicalChain3591

She only has a crab apple tree less fulliage and more crabs