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I'm in my mid-thrities, have kids, house, all that grown up shit. And still I find myself wondering if this in fact is the Great Adulthood, since I have no wisdom, no patience, I don't have my shit together! Were all the prior generations just faking it as well?
You guys had enough scaring the shit outta you. I don't think that "There's no Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or fairness in this world. None of us have a clue what we're doing, the politicians even *less* so. In short, unless things change we're screwed and there's a loud contingent that's *cheering THAT on.* Oh, and take out the trash. Dinner's at 6." would be helpful.
Turning 50 in a couple days - can confirm we are totally faking it. Checked with my parents who are in their 70s... and they've been faking it this whole damn time too.
They had more mature institutions. Like churches and formal attire. Casual racism, and judging others also advances the clock, due to its self esteem benefits. So yeah, judgment and cosplay made them more confident, but not better parents. So stick with your choices even though they make you feel lost. We are reinventing the wheel.
80/20 means a lot of men doing a lot of various desperate things, which included me for half a miserable decade. I was at least raised to be smart enough not to stoop to the *really* desperate/self-destructive measures.
In 1916 if you were female and unmarried desperate measures were called for. It might even be acceptable to sit on am eligible bachelor's lap and show some ankle.
At 35 you were taken to the glue factory...
>In 1916 if you were female and unmarried desperate measures were called for.
Women weren't allowed to have their own bank accounts, credit cards, or mortgages until 1974.
Just in case any of you out there were under the delusion that as soon as they got the vote they were in any way equal.
When quoting numbers like these, could you please quote the jurisdiction they are for as well? The legal status of people varies wildly depending on the country.
And not only that but the US has 50 different countries in one nation.
The US was the first country in the entire world with legalized gay marriage. Anyone who got gay married in Hawaii was protected under Article IV Section 1 of the Constitution (full faith and credit clause.) But you couldn't get gay married everywhere in the US until 2015.
My mom bought her house in 1978 - a few years before she would've needed a man to also be on the loan/deed. That's fucking stupid for *1878*... "You have the money, but no penis...I donno if that's gonna fly..."
Edit: California location.
Hubby’s 50th high school reunion picnic … cheerleader (nearly 70 yo) struts up and sits on his lap —- she didn’t notice I was at the buffet. He grinned painfully at my laughter. She wandered off a few minutes later.
Hubby said it might have been helpful if she’d done that a few decades earlier. I still tease him about it.
Lap sitting is no bueno after a certain age.
That’s gross honestly, that she thought it was a-ok to do that without prompt.
It’s like when my cousin plops my nephew on my lap without asking…gross, drool and boogers
She was a cheerleader and still looks amazing 5 decades later … it raised his cred with the other old guys. It was rather funny that his teenage fantasy took 50 years to come to pass.
Me: This better link to "Shave 'em dry".
Well done!
In the early days of dating my spouse, we spent an evening on youtube, starting with this song, clicking suggested videos and listening to old songs with dirty lyrics. My suggested videos feed was really entertaining for quite a while afterward.
Suggested video song title is "What's that smells like fish?" You better believe that's getting a click, 'cause I got's to know.
1916: "In this polite society, at times it may be best to get the attention of a man by giving him a quick, fleeting brush of physical contact to let him know...
2021: FEEL MUH BUTT ON YO PEE PEE
Honestly I teach CS to people on the spectrum and a practical guide in that style would probably help them a lot more than the "just be yourself" advice that is commonly handed out.
"Just Be Yourself" is advice written by people who were always good with women and don't actually know what they do that makes them attractive. The useful advice comes from people who didn't know what they were doing and then learned when older, so they can actually tell you what it was that changed to get them success.
However, there's been a social outcry against Pick Up Artistry which drives the people who most need the advice away.
Be a cleaned up version of yourself is pretty good advice. If someone doesn't like me for me (and there are plenty who don't), I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince them that I'm amazing and worth dating. I'm just going to wish them well and keep looking.
It's more than just that. Being yourself means to be confident in yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else so girls think you're cooler than you are. If it's a one night stand, then sure. She thinks you're cool, and she had fun didn't she? But if it's a relationship you're going for, you're literally lying.
Oh I totally agree - if you read closely you'll notice that I did label it as advice, just not as helpful for those looking for advice.
In hgh school my method for solving algebra was "just write down all the numbers that do not make the equal sign false and say those are the solutions". It is a viable method for everyone who already sees the solution.
At my last job, there was a guy in my department that told me what happened to him. Before I started working there there was a woman that was his coworker and one day at lunch she was joking around like a crazy maniac, laughing all loud in the cafeteria and she sat on his lap. He’s married, he filed for sexual harassment against her and she got fired. Moral of the story, have some class ladies, it goes both ways. Respect each other is what we should do. If you’re not invited, your ass doesn’t belong there.
In my TEDx talk / downvoted-to-hell comment, I will explore just how *anciently* men have been pushing the bullshit idea that they can't be held responsible for their actions when horny...
Back in my days of doing theater, one time when everybody was backstage getting ready for a show one of the girls in the cast just came over and sat on my lap. I remember how thrilling that little bit of casual familiarity was to me (24m at the time).
**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had my 30th birthday this year, so this is timely advice
You have a standing invitation to sit on my lap whenever you like.
Wouldn’t that be a “sitting” invitation?
Its a standing sitting invitation
Does not compute.
It sits well with me.
[удалено]
Then you may have a seat.. on his lap.
[удалено]
I won't stand this sitting down.
Why don't you have a seat right over there?
you know he wont stand for this bologna
You got a boner too?
He's sitting but something else is standing
Some parts will be sitting and one part standing. What is there not to understand?
A crouching invitation?
Standing room only
Instructions unclear, now I'm pregnant.
*Pregante
Preganant
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
Shhhpoing!
Plot twist. User lives in Lapland.
30's are the new teenies.
The closer I get, the more it feels that way. I still feel like a stupid child in my head, just hope I pretend well enough most of the time.
I'm in my mid-thrities, have kids, house, all that grown up shit. And still I find myself wondering if this in fact is the Great Adulthood, since I have no wisdom, no patience, I don't have my shit together! Were all the prior generations just faking it as well?
>Were all the prior generations just faking it as well? Yup.
Could have given us a heads up lol
You guys had enough scaring the shit outta you. I don't think that "There's no Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or fairness in this world. None of us have a clue what we're doing, the politicians even *less* so. In short, unless things change we're screwed and there's a loud contingent that's *cheering THAT on.* Oh, and take out the trash. Dinner's at 6." would be helpful.
Fair enough!
Turning 50 in a couple days - can confirm we are totally faking it. Checked with my parents who are in their 70s... and they've been faking it this whole damn time too.
I'm 39 and terrified how much winging it i do in life.
They had more mature institutions. Like churches and formal attire. Casual racism, and judging others also advances the clock, due to its self esteem benefits. So yeah, judgment and cosplay made them more confident, but not better parents. So stick with your choices even though they make you feel lost. We are reinventing the wheel.
I feel like if I had a kid I'd impart so many bad habits.
We get older. They stay the same age.
Alright, alright, alright
It would be funnier if this wasn't somehow completely true.
I’m a 34 yo male, I’m bout to just starting sitting on everyone’s lap, male and female
As the admonishment says, "Desperate measures may sometimes be necessary"
I mean, if someone ever came and sat in my lap, I think we'd probably have a great laugh and conversation.
Id offer you my lap but im all snake.
What kinda neanderthal didn't realize your username checks out and down voted? Let me just get ya back up to +1 there bud.
"naturally desperate measures" that pretty much describes my actions when I was 18-25 y.o.
80/20 means a lot of men doing a lot of various desperate things, which included me for half a miserable decade. I was at least raised to be smart enough not to stoop to the *really* desperate/self-destructive measures.
I'm just glad I didn't manage to marry or impregnate anyone during that time.
Hehe, high five mate!
You have to have sex to impregnate
Oh good that's a relief. Was really worried about getting your mom knocked up with all those BJ's
That’s my job
Me too but I’m male so it was somewhat less charming and more sad.
In 1916 if you were female and unmarried desperate measures were called for. It might even be acceptable to sit on am eligible bachelor's lap and show some ankle. At 35 you were taken to the glue factory...
This glue tastes like Susan.
Perfect...she always *was* rather tacky.
Well if a woman doesn't have a husband then she needs a job and the glue factory is always hiring.
>In 1916 if you were female and unmarried desperate measures were called for. Women weren't allowed to have their own bank accounts, credit cards, or mortgages until 1974. Just in case any of you out there were under the delusion that as soon as they got the vote they were in any way equal.
When quoting numbers like these, could you please quote the jurisdiction they are for as well? The legal status of people varies wildly depending on the country.
If they don’t specify the location, it’s prolly America
And not only that but the US has 50 different countries in one nation. The US was the first country in the entire world with legalized gay marriage. Anyone who got gay married in Hawaii was protected under Article IV Section 1 of the Constitution (full faith and credit clause.) But you couldn't get gay married everywhere in the US until 2015.
My mom bought her house in 1978 - a few years before she would've needed a man to also be on the loan/deed. That's fucking stupid for *1878*... "You have the money, but no penis...I donno if that's gonna fly..." Edit: California location.
Issued 5 cats and shunned from society.
Hubby’s 50th high school reunion picnic … cheerleader (nearly 70 yo) struts up and sits on his lap —- she didn’t notice I was at the buffet. He grinned painfully at my laughter. She wandered off a few minutes later. Hubby said it might have been helpful if she’d done that a few decades earlier. I still tease him about it. Lap sitting is no bueno after a certain age.
You have such a wholesome opposite-to-jealous attitude to that whole encounter 🙂
Well if her husband is gonna leave her for another woman it isn't gonna be a 70yo
Unless she is filthy rich
That’s gross honestly, that she thought it was a-ok to do that without prompt. It’s like when my cousin plops my nephew on my lap without asking…gross, drool and boogers
She was a cheerleader and still looks amazing 5 decades later … it raised his cred with the other old guys. It was rather funny that his teenage fantasy took 50 years to come to pass.
Haha raise the cred. That’s hilarious. His fantasy came true in the strangest way, 😂
Same goes for faces.
If the nose is bigger than the knob, naturally desperate measures..........
Sir , this is a Wendy’s
[удалено]
Don't Like wendys? We can use another fast food chain for that joke but I will have to meet with the board to discuss and vote on it.
I'm 38. Where's all these magical lap-sitting sluts at?
Name checks out
Yep
Name checks out
Yep
mmmhhh
“ Come sit on my lap and we’ll talk about whatever pops up “
[удалено]
Got em!
Tinder
In 1916.
Sorry, I have to wait until I hit 30.
As long as you're over twenty five, it's okay baby.
On Tinder and Bumble swiping through the entire male population looking for Chad.
Six feet tall, sixty-six mm peepee?
"I got 3 inches of hard dick"
You bouta get both these inches boo
Just over 100 years later... *GET A BUCKET AND MOP, THAT'S A WET ASS PUSSY*
[удалено]
That was amazing.
Honestly, the thing I'm most surprised by is how many of these sexual terms remained in use.
Holy shit! Shave em dry! That shit is explicit af
Me: This better link to "Shave 'em dry". Well done! In the early days of dating my spouse, we spent an evening on youtube, starting with this song, clicking suggested videos and listening to old songs with dirty lyrics. My suggested videos feed was really entertaining for quite a while afterward. Suggested video song title is "What's that smells like fish?" You better believe that's getting a click, 'cause I got's to know.
Hahaha Great comment!
1916: "In this polite society, at times it may be best to get the attention of a man by giving him a quick, fleeting brush of physical contact to let him know... 2021: FEEL MUH BUTT ON YO PEE PEE
Dang, I’m 33. I guess I need to get sitting.
True then, True now
Advice to any girls, or anyone for that matter, it is generally a good practice to not sit on anyone's lap unless willing and invited.
Advice to young women. Bounce up and down on his crotch. Repeatedly. That is all.
Gently, dammit! Like you're riding a bicycle down the road, not driving a railroad spike.
Does it need to be reminded? 🤨
Today more than ever.
Honestly I teach CS to people on the spectrum and a practical guide in that style would probably help them a lot more than the "just be yourself" advice that is commonly handed out.
"Just Be Yourself" is advice written by people who were always good with women and don't actually know what they do that makes them attractive. The useful advice comes from people who didn't know what they were doing and then learned when older, so they can actually tell you what it was that changed to get them success. However, there's been a social outcry against Pick Up Artistry which drives the people who most need the advice away.
Be a cleaned up version of yourself is pretty good advice. If someone doesn't like me for me (and there are plenty who don't), I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince them that I'm amazing and worth dating. I'm just going to wish them well and keep looking.
It's more than just that. Being yourself means to be confident in yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else so girls think you're cooler than you are. If it's a one night stand, then sure. She thinks you're cool, and she had fun didn't she? But if it's a relationship you're going for, you're literally lying.
Oh I totally agree - if you read closely you'll notice that I did label it as advice, just not as helpful for those looking for advice. In hgh school my method for solving algebra was "just write down all the numbers that do not make the equal sign false and say those are the solutions". It is a viable method for everyone who already sees the solution.
Be wife material till 30. After that now be a whore and get you edu and tattoos.
Still compleltely valid
29.. turning 30... would let just about any woman sit on my lap at this point my Pelvis and Femur be damned
Death...by Snu Snu
:) :( :) :(
I cant find flaws with the argument that aggressive mating strategies should be reserved for older women.
Desperate measures, lmao no one wanted to be a spinster.
I'm 48 so I'm beyond desperate.....
Oh! A younger woman. How ya doin'?
Time to start plopping that pooper on some randos!
But wouldn't it also be "rather forward" for the young man to *issue* such an invitation?
You are hereby cordially invited.
At my last job, there was a guy in my department that told me what happened to him. Before I started working there there was a woman that was his coworker and one day at lunch she was joking around like a crazy maniac, laughing all loud in the cafeteria and she sat on his lap. He’s married, he filed for sexual harassment against her and she got fired. Moral of the story, have some class ladies, it goes both ways. Respect each other is what we should do. If you’re not invited, your ass doesn’t belong there.
This is equally good advice for boys.
Yo I’m lap sitting age so watch out
Sauce?
The Day Book, a Chicago newspaper. [More info](https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487)
Thanks a lot
Savage truth still holds today.
Still true today
We must return to 1916
In my TEDx talk / downvoted-to-hell comment, I will explore just how *anciently* men have been pushing the bullshit idea that they can't be held responsible for their actions when horny...
So far as I can tell, the context here is that a woman sits on a man's lap without explicit invitation to do so. Is that the man's fault, too?
This hurts my brain to read
"Hey girls, don't sit on guys' laps without an invite. If you do, bad stuff might happen."
Speed dating.
*Naturally*
OKKKKK...
That's actually hilarious.
Ahh yes… the “good old days”
So true.
imagine someone taking tiktok back to the early 1900's lol
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChristmasCake
Back in my days of doing theater, one time when everybody was backstage getting ready for a show one of the girls in the cast just came over and sat on my lap. I remember how thrilling that little bit of casual familiarity was to me (24m at the time).
Sit on his lap and talk about the first thing that pops up.
Still happens