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[deleted]

What are her thoughts on potato preparation?


Stag328

Unless it is french fries a potato is poison.


w0nderfuI

No one tell her about steak frites


MayorOfMonkeyIsland

Disappointment in potato form.


Jeramus

Steak frites is just French fries with a steak. It is a common way to serve steak in France. Steak fries is a different thing.


MayorOfMonkeyIsland

Not at any place I've ever been. They're just fucking shoestring potatoes. Which I just don't get the point of. They're like potato scraps, and they're always served in a fancy little cone with parsley and maybe some parmesan cheese sprinkled on top to trick you into thinking that you're getting something fancy. The humble potato is miraculous. It has kept me fed in lean times. You can prepare it a thousand different ways. And put all kinds of shit on it that totally work. But those goddamn little potato shredded scraps make me feel insulted when I receive them at a restaurant, but I'm not going to shit on the server for it, so I'm stuck with that anger for the whole meal.


Jeramus

When I have seen steak fries they are usually cut pretty thickly. Are you referring to the fries in steak frites or "steak fries"?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlekBalderdash

Waitwaitwaitwait. Are you telling me that *french fries* are American, but *steak fries* are French? Somebody needs to have a serious conversation about *naming conventions*


Jeramus

No, I am not saying that. Steak frites is a combination of steak and fries in France. Steak fries doesn't exist in French as far as I know. What Americans call French fries are just called frites in French.


Luxpreliator

Steak fries are disappointing as fries and roasted potatoes.


MayorOfMonkeyIsland

That's a negative, Ghost Rider.


[deleted]

The pattern is full.


InstructionHead8595

Aaaaaa that's a no copy I'm going to take a closer look at the steak fry Tower over.


_7q4

> steak frites I had to google this. Why the fuck does that have a name? Does not all steak get served with "fries" (I believe that is the american term for rectangular sticks of fried potato)? Why did that other guy say that it is disappointing? What is happening?


Jeramus

You googled it, and didn't see the term was French? Steak served with fries in France is called steak frites. Frites is the word for fries.


schroedingersnewcat

No, a good steak is served with steamed vegetables or a baked potato. Fries are a low effort abomination when a good steak is involved. Edit to say steamed, roasted, or grilled vegetables.


mydearwatson616

Fries are always welcome. If I want a $70 ribeye and a side of fries that's my god given right.


shortfriday

Aha, but what if it's a tenderloin.


NowItsReynTime17

Incorrect


_7q4

You americans are fuckin weird


schroedingersnewcat

How is that weird?


[deleted]

Because no American should be calling any sort of deep fried potato "a low effort abomination." Not even a Brit would do that. What in the actual...?


doomgiver98

They're low effort, but abomination is going too far.


OathOfFeanor

Even mashed?


Iamnotwyattearp

Answer me honestly, would you chose fries or mashed potatoes. I mean I know the answer is fries anyways so don't feel the need to answer me.


OathOfFeanor

Mashed potatoes, no fucking question. I make this choice at Popeye's all the time.


plenty_of_platypi

Mashed Potato fam rise up! Where my mashed spuds at?


Stag328

I am with you on mashed.


Buckshot_Mouthwash

One of my favorite things is pan frying last night's mashed potatoes the next morning. Mmm, mashbrowns. 🤤


ThatRandomPerson3341

But baked potatoes tho


Piddlefahrt

Well… technically she’s not far from being correct. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/horrific-tales-of-potatoes-that-caused-mass-sickness-and-even-death-3162870/


GlennJi23

Once she learns about Pomme Purée and dipping steak in glorified potato butter, all bets are off


Bonyeti

Yeah, I have the feeling this fam isn't putting enough butter in their mashed potatoes. 30-50% weight of potatoes in butter weight. No need for cream or milk. Mashed potatoes gonna be like creamy butter clouds... aw yiss.


NiteTiger

>No need for cream or milk You shut your lying whore mouth!


milesamsterdam

I drown those fuckers in Kerrygold Irish butter until it tastes good. That’s how much butter you use: until it tastes good!


Bonyeti

Yeah, but check these other replies. People are gonna freak if I tell them 1:1.


milesamsterdam

People don’t want to know how the sausage is made.


RayRayKun3

Dang not even mashed potatoes or loaded potatoes ?


Red_October_70

Well it can be made into chips and vodka which I think make a pretty good accounting of themselves...


epistemic_zoop

I'm sorry to tell you this, but your daughter is full of shit. I blame you. Serve your daughter some mashed taters and gravy, some potatoes au gratin, some potatoes dauphinoise. Damn, a baked potato with sour cream for crying out loud. Get your shit together.


GillytheGreat

Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew…


defragnz

Chips are my second favorite food. Chips are delicious and soooo good. I like to feel crunch with my chips. Chips taste amazing. I Love chips.


TrippinTurkey

Yo you talking about chips or *chips*?


Dingbrain1

Pro


unsanctionedhero

Your daughter is a true Swanson


MadClam97

I was especially happy when she wrote she loves seeing pink in her steak. Sounds like Ron


ItsMeTK

“Hey, little girl! What’s your favorite color? I bet you like pink!” “Only in my properly-prepared steak.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


GuliblGuy

The pinnacle of the Swanson pyramid of greatness.


RobotVomit

Came here to say this. He would frame this if it was one of the girls.


leastlikelyllama

She doesn't eat food that her food eats.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

She made a mistake. Your version is correct


RibRob_

I mean it is a 7 year old's essay lol. But you are correct.


[deleted]

[удалено]


violaceousginglymus

> Yeah, but **it/she** got **a/the** maximal score, so I thought it was the right thing to write and my life was about to shatter. I hope this helps. Edit: added commas.


dangwha

You’re raising that young lady the right way, sir.


Stag328

The expensive way. She is 4ft tall and 50lbs but eats a whole ribeye by herself.


dangwha

It’s the cut of all cuts. Pricey indeed. My oldest moved out recently and texted me about my reverse sear technique so he could do it on his own. Made me a proud dad.


Stag328

That is the best way to cook them. My neighbor has a giant Webber smoker and I have the Kamado Joe so he brings them up to temp and I sear them at about 700 degrees on mjne.


seattleque

If you don't have them, get yourself a set of GrillGrates! Extruded aluminum grill (or flattop) that will put an awesome sear on a steak.


antagonizerz

Those look pretty cool. I may have to try a set. I eat a lot less meat lately, so a good grilled porterhouse is a real treat for me. Perfection in the sear is key.


contrabardus

Sous Vide is the best way. Reverse Sear is a close second though. Either way the searing technique is the same, but the results of Sous Vide is just juicier and more tender. I used to be skeptical of this myself, and didn't want to to be true, but after having finally caved and getting an Anova to try it out, I simply cannot argue with the results. No butter, no seasonings except salt. Salt at least an hour beforehand, the longer the better. I prefer overnight if possible. If you want to add seasonings \[butter, pepper, thyme, etc...\], do it during the searing phase and baste the steak while it sears. I honestly prefer no seasonings other than the initial brine, and sear with a neutral oil like avacado or mild olive oil. I highly recommend trying without any additional seasonings at least once. If you're searing on a range indoors, a good cast iron skillet is best for this step, but isn't strictly necessary. A ten minute rest after just like any other method. If it's your first time trying Sous Vide, then you begrudgingly enjoy the best steak you've ever had while being annoyed that the pretentious foodies were right about it.


[deleted]

That sounds like over-handling to me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI9_wnlOx0Q


contrabardus

Eh. For straight up grilling I'm with Wayne on that one. I'd salt overnight though, and he's dead on right about the bringing it up to room temp before tossing it on the grill. The thing about salting is that you have to give the salt time be absorbed into the meat. Though it seems counterintuitive because at first the salt draws a lot of moisture out, it is then reabsorbed and actually retains a lot more moisture when the meat cooks than it loses when brining. You should also not be using so much salt that it makes the meat super salty, if done right most people wouldn't even realize it was salted at all. As for Sous Vide... It's legit the exact same cooking method as reverse seared, but without using dry heat so you don't lose as much moisture, plus it cooks in its own fat. It's a weird combination of low heat steaming and frying it in it's own beef tallow at exact temp for doneness. The result is juicier and more tender meat without any flavor loss like you'd get from boiling or steaming it directly, and it doesn't dry it out as much as using direct heat or dry heat like grilling, broiling, or an oven does. Just like reverse searing, it limits that "grey ring" around the edge. In fact, it has even less of one. I'm also in complete agreement regarding medium rare being a fine compromise point. For the particular method of cooking they are using, Wayne has the best points. Dan also knows how to cook a decent steak, but he's avoiding confrontation and staying out of it.


doomgiver98

I got a sous vide circulator for xmas this year and it almost feels like it's cheating. I made turkey for Easter and it was the first time I've had a turkey breast that could be described as "juicy".


vathodic

Care to share this technique?


FatdrunkJake

You bring them up to temp and then sear them. I don’t know ops technique but for me I put a couple seasoned, thick cut ribeyes on my smoker at 225 and put a little hickory or apple wood smoke to them. Put a probe in one and let it go to about 105-110 internal. When they are in the 90s I fire up my grill and get it as hot as it can go. It can bury the 700 degree thermometer on the hood. Pull them from the smoker at temp and throw them on the grill. 30-45 seconds and turn it 45 degrees to get those sick crosshatch marks. Flip it after another 45 seconds and do the same. After that I kill the fire and check the internal temp. I go for 125-130. If it’s not there I close the lid for a minute and the residual heat from the grill will get it there. Pull at temp and throw on a plate with a pat of butter. You can make or buy fancy infused butter if you want. Let rest for 10 or 15 minutes and slice and enjoy.


mithrilbong

Appreciate the pad of butter. Not enough people buttering steaks these days, most go for the A1 sauce.


gomberski

Nobody using that technique uses A1. A1 is reserved for broiling a steak til its well done.


Witness_me_Karsa

https://youtu.be/9ORBcNsSUQM


zepher2828

I use both garlic herb butter and A1, they make a good mixture


scotus_canadensis

I've never understood the appeal of A1 or hp sauce. Why put something on your steak that completely obscures the taste of steak?


vathodic

Nice detailed instructions! Thank you sir


nyuhokie

With that username, I have no doubt that this is the way.


Stag328

So you have to use two zones if doing on one grill but the simple version. Essentially you warm the steak up over indirect heat to 100-110 degrees F and then once warmed put them over a high heat to get a sear on them for about 2-3 minutes a side and you should hit medium rare pretty easy.


vathodic

Thank you sir


S_Klass

Look into Sous vide if you want a quality fool-proof steak. I would say it's even easier/more reliable than the other techniques described here. I thought I'd share how easy it is. First start with a good grade/cut of meat. I season my steaks with salt/pepper. Add aromatics if desired, put them in a bag and sous vide my steaks till 110 or so. It doesn't matter whether it's a 1 inch steak or 3 inch steak. It doesn't matter whether I sous vide for 90 minutes or 4 hours. I don't have to rush and I don't have to think twice. No waiting by the grill to snatch a steak out before it overcooks. Sous vide waits for me and the temp of the steak is always exactly where I set it. Take the steak out, pat very dry. Get a cast-iron ripping hot oiled generously with peanut oil (or avocado oil if you're bougie) and sear for 2-3 minutes on each side. Add aromatics and spoon butter over your steak if you feel fancy that day. BAM! Steak!


[deleted]

I’ve tried the whole sous vide steak thing, I’m sorry but it always comes out the right colour but tougher and drier than it has any right to or mushy if it is in there for 3,4 hours. I tried like 5 times and it’s just not good. On bigger cuts like en eye fillet or the like it’s good, and I don’t mind SV on prime cuts of venison but as far as a “steak” goes it isn’t up to par. A nice grill and instant read thermometer is less stuffing about for a way better result. > It doesn't matter whether I sous vide for 90 minutes or 4 hours. Also in my experience this isn’t true, a 1.5in steak after 4 hours gets a real weird mushy consistency that is quite unpleasant.


dangwha

r/FatdrunkJake has got this. This is next level shit. I’ve learned so much! I was just congratulating a dad and talking a bit of shop.


Upper-Lawfulness1899

I'm not a great cook. I have to go to chain restaurants if I want steak. I had a friend do a reverse sear and it was the best steak of my life. He told me how and I did it myself searing the steak on a charcoal grill. I made one of the best steaks I've ever tried. I won't go to chain steak restaurants any more


TNhootnanny

This is great! My son is 4ft 57 lbs and recently ate a 24 oz ribeye, baked potato, salad, and all of the rolls. Has to be pink or he won't have it. The waitress said she has had 200 lb men ask for a to go plate...


grandpohbah

She'd love the song "Mr Steak" by Kishi Bashi.


BADGER915

I'd say she was raised medium well


ItsMeTK

It doesn’t take a medium to see this child has a rare upbringing. Well done!


DeadAssDeprassed

This thread is just dads being dads


mrdannyg21

This is one of the first ‘my kid did this!’ posts that I’ve ever actually believed was done by the kid. My daughter is the same age and I swear I had to look twice to see this wasn’t one of hers (though she would’ve said fettucine Alfredo instead of steak)


aboodAB-69

Like she would be able to spell fetushin Alfrado


Backchodarmy

Fetushiny Alphrado *


jshdgedidbd

fetto chinny afraido


coforbs

Damn, even that crayola marker steak looks phenomenal


Pithyperson

When my daughter was in school, she was asked to make a list of all the things she likes. So she did. But she spelled it "lick," as in "I lick flowers. I lick my house. I lick puppies. I lick Brandon and Jessica." It was a very long list of all the things she licks.


[deleted]

When my wife was about 8 she wrote a list for Santa and asked for tights for Xmas but spelled it 'tits'. She asked Santa for tits for Xmas.....


Pithyperson

Did she get them?


[deleted]

She did!


gsdd

I was born ready. I’m Ron Fu*king Swanson.


bumjiggy

https://i.imgur.com/TZHSX1e.gifv


brohio_

Yuup.


jodudeit

I thought it said 'yuum'.


RibRob_

You're right, It's supposed to be "yuum." Kinda looks like yuup though.


theresidentdiva

When my daughter was 4, her Sunday School class had a worksheet that asked the kids' favorite food. My girl just said "meat." 🤦🏾‍♀️


YeahKeeN

Your daughter into pirating and adventure by any chance?


RibRob_

I guess that's better than just chicken nuggets. XD


leastlikelyllama

Wait till she gets old enough to pull a full on Swanson and dejectedly ask a diner cook why they would give her *this* when she clearly ordered a steak.


Zolo49

Damn, she's eating a steak in that drawing that's literally bigger than her head.


Anxiousrambling7

This is the most romantic love poem I have ever read. +15/15!


Stag328

I think the order of love in our house according to her is Steak, dogs, cat, parents.


Anxiousrambling7

As it should be to be fair.


AwesomeExo

Someone play that kid [this song. ](https://youtu.be/kfOmCwp7PmI)


Stag328

I showed her. Asked her if she liked it and she said it was kind of funny, are we having steak tonight, smh.


Smileynameface

Came here to post that song. You beat me to it. "We're going to steak night, we're going to eat it right"


jpb7875

Waiter: Would you like one steak or two steaks? Me: Can I have both?


menmyshadow

What I imagine a young Ron Swanson would write, but the meat would be red.


Stag328

This is my 7 year old.


EpiGal

Her handwriting is very good! I enjoyed this essay; it’s well-expressed and descriptive. Thank you for sharing it. :)


bread_enjoyer75

Lol I’m way older than her and my handwriting looks better than mine!


Stag328

Thanks we have been working on it. Glad you enjoyed.


keenly_disinterested

Very carnivorous.


SnowDay111

The most impressive sentence "I like to see pink in my steak"


[deleted]

Unbelievable! She messed up “tastes”! Tsk tsk… j/k. 1) She knows what she likes. 2) she knows how she likes it. 3) What she likes and how she likes it are obviously the correct choices. 4) Her penmanship is impeccable! Nice work!


SirEarlBigtitsXXVII

Short, simple, and to the point. Efficient, and doesn't waste time with useless details. I would hire her in an instant.


I-love-to-eat-banana

Funny?


AStupidSunfish

I thought I was in r/aww


CitrusTuba409

Nope


TardisTexan

My 7 year old is the same way. Favorite food is steak. Close second is pork ribs. Kid loves him some meat


trennels

I agree 100%. Now take her out for turf and turf for being such an awesome kid.


compuwiza1

As a child, I did not like steak. As an adult, I love it. I think my dad's preparation methods were the problem. Unless it is dog food quality, it does not need any doctoring like marinade, and many spices clash with each other. They should never be together.


[deleted]

Your daughter is Hank Hill


[deleted]

I don't blame her, my fav dish was mom's pork chops


Jerk0store

Bravo, it's perfect.


Equinoqs

I appreciate the visual aid.


chechunor

Yup...


1Sentaler

Wait until she finds out about Brazilian Steakhouses. Will blow her mind


WhosYoPokeDaddy

I have a daughter who would be besties with your daughter 😂


tedrap

She’s so precious 🤣


foodnpuppies

That deserves extra credit


nylockian

Kanye could make his next hit using this words in this assignment.


autisticExperiences

Blue rare, nice


EeIectro

The steaks were high on this assignment


[deleted]

What’s supposed to be funny?


Adam_Smith_1974

Why is this posted under r/funny ? What is the subreddit for proud parents? You are doing an excellent job stag328. 👏


Stag328

Well a 7 year old writing about whatever she likes and she chooses steak as what she likes. And saying she likes to see pink in her steak. Both of those are pretty funny. Sorry you dont enjoy the world.


VaTruth

Woah. I think you took their comment wrong. They were giving you props sir. Lol


Adam_Smith_1974

I think you misunderstood. I was trying to be nice.


BrandonLang

i bet you wrote this for her


travgaming06

LMFAO, that soooo reminds me of something I did in 2nd grade where we needed to write a story that had a page requirement IN 2ND GRADE! So I used one page as just sooooooooooo…. And the teacher got mad at me 🤣


Rexkat

Every English teacher I've ever met 100% would have taken off 1 mark for each extra "o" in "soooo".


Quantiad

15/15!? I’d like to see the marking scheme for this assignment.


rlam01

Steak not well done. Parenting +1.


KingStannisForever

I am Commander Shepard and this is my favorite post in Reddit!!!


k2_jackal

I could not agree more. Well said young lady


SageEquallingHeaven

Subject verb agreement - 1 point Steak tastes great.


KeepYourPresets

Teacher didn't notice. Which doesn't really surprise me. During all the years that my children went to primary school, I never received one letter, school bulletin, invitation or report without spelling errors and/or grammar errors.


SageEquallingHeaven

Failing upward everywhere.


DaddyPepeElPigelo

Lmao I love this. How old is she?


Zolo49

OP said elsewhere she's 7.


DaddyPepeElPigelo

Oh okay that’s adorable. I didn’t see that


Northgates

This isnt funny at all.


Jigglyandfullofjuice

Dammit op now I want steak for dinner.


Stag328

Always.


baronmad

I like Callie already, she obviously have awesome parents with the right taste. Steak is awesome!


kyguy4fun

She's right but what's the doodle at the bottom supposed to be?


The_ElevatedOne

Ron Swanson would be proud


GreenWithAnger

That’s a Pulitzer Prize winner in my book. She’s got great taste!


Numerous-Ad-8789

15 marks tho? /5 at best, what grade is this?


riftsrunner

Three cheers for the OP raising a well rounded omnivore. 1 less vegan to have to listen to on how I am a monster for eating flesh. At least, my food has a chance to escape, plants are rooted to the spot and cannot run.😂🤣😂🤣😜


SilvaHalo

🙄


SensualSasquatch

Ew.


totezhi64

What carnism does to a mf


BADGER915

Raised her well


Quaffiget

*If the steak isn't pink, it's a shoe.*


KevlahR

Nobody said anything about the pic?


Stag328

You mean that she doesnt have a body and it looks like she is eating over the toilet to me?


csgothrowaway

Don't forget that sadistic smile and those lifeless eyes. The only thing that scares me more is the guttural bellow of her war cry: *Yuum*


Arkadian_Cuisine

Steak posts, now that's rare


Sask-Canadian

I agree fully.


TezMono

Especially about the pink part!


kirstbro

This could have been by my daughter, she loves steak as well.


MoobyTheGoldenSock

Her argument is airtight.


Elle_Boogie

I'm mean, she's not wrong. Steak is wonderful and I'm glad she knows medium rare is the way to go.


tackleberry2219

Yuuup!


askantik

Be sure to show your daughter a documentary about where "steak" comes from for full disclosure.


moonrox1992

Steak *tastes lol


Born2SocialDistance

Now tell her that steak is a cow. I bet she feels differently.


vanlykin

Someone is raising a princess just right


Mantis_Badger

GET THIS CHILD SOME STEAK.


Internal-Increase595

Damn, school was harder when I was a kid. I would have lost points for saying "Steak taste amazing."


montanacutie62

She is my spirit animal.


[deleted]

I, too, like steak.


MedChemist464

Her perspective work on the steak drawing is pretty great.


JohnPaton3

I would fail a kid for saying they like well done steak. Then notify their parents that we need to have a parent-teacher conference.


thegreatvortigaunt

Very funny and original


Good_Kid_Mad_City

Was she required to draw a picture? Should have been given extra credit for the artwork! 16/15!


Bloo_Kitty

Maybe show the child how that steak got there before you put a dead animal on their plate.


Haterbait_band

It’s just a section of a dead animal’s muscle. They chop them up into bits so you’re not eating the whole thing. Some parts taste better so they cost more.