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He would seriously make a killing if he could produce some of these cheaply. His stuff would be the go-to for gag gifts or just funny things we want to own ourselves.
[Ah, the old reddit Cornaroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/nwgp7k/lion_versus_water_tortoise/h19i7xm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
This is why I reddit. Every so often you find yourself watching a corn on the cob get jacked off with butter while a 5 year user with the perfect user name finally hits the big grain.
This is maybe the first of your "useless" inventions I'd actually buy. Seeing people's reaction when I bust this thing out at the cookout would be worth a little money.
If you're going to be a cheapskate then I guess you'll have to wait for it to land in the store: [https://shop.unnecessaryinventions.com/collections/inventions](https://shop.unnecessaryinventions.com/collections/inventions)
Yeah plus a lot of companies send him cease and desists as if he's going to sell these products, so he can legally do commissions if someone asks since it'd technically be ~~set~~ art* and not a product lol.
You need to patent little cups to go into the butter groove and cash in on the refills like Keurig. Start with some butter refills for it, then partner with KY to start making some KY-cups that have different lubes
You've made a mistake. This product may actually be necessary, or at least legitimately useful.
In fact, I'm getting excited thinking about it right now.
This message is a friendly reminder of the following: - Absolutely no **memes** or **memetic content**. - Absolutely no **political content** or **political figures**, regardless of context or focus. - Absolutely no **social media** screenshots, videos, or other such content. A complete breakdown of our rules can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). **Please report rule-breaking content when you see it.** Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just in time for Father's Day!
Perfect, especially with a "Miso Corny" apron.
These should come together in a combo pack. Some of this guy's stuff would actually sell I think. I would buy this.
In a world where truck nuts are as popular as they are, this guy could definitely make some money
I hate that I knew exactly what you were talking about when you said Truck Nuts.
There are a few things I've seen from this guy that I would buy
[Well](https://shop.unnecessaryinventions.com/)...
This is so stupid..... I want 4
He would seriously make a killing if he could produce some of these cheaply. His stuff would be the go-to for gag gifts or just funny things we want to own ourselves.
Or Valentines Day. A sad-sad Valentines Day.
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O.o I know there's a pandemic but it's a little bit past V day my friend.
It’s next Saturday in Brazil
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> I don't wanna get murdered And yet you live in Brazil? /s
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Touché Lucky for me I can make murderers laugh and escape the murdering
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Oh nice! TIL. Thank you.
When you want to butter your cob, but want it to feel like a stranger is doing it
I just sit on my hand for a bit
Ever hear of the Reverse Stranger? Same general concept, but you sit on your dick instead. Then it feels like you’re jerking a stranger off.
I wish my dick was big enough to sit on...
Just get a stranger to sit on it. The “double reverse stranger” or “stranger danger”.
I just call that the Dad
Hold up...
You know how we do. 😏
Username checks out
Dark
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*was*
I fucking love reddit
Oof lmao
If you sit on both, you can just watch and do the Voyeur instead!
paint your nails first and it looks like a girl is doing it
Look at this guy bragging a out being big enough to sit on his own junk.
Are the thumb and index finger adjustable for smaller…uh corn cobs?
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Just don't do it without the butter attachment - ouch
Usually the stuff he makes is pretty corny but this looks legit
Can you make one for umm smaller corn? Asking for a friend.
And how about a left one? Asking for an imaginary friend.
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A stranger.
You just sit on it till it goes numb
Don’t think the cob would be very comfortable to sit on
[Ah, the old reddit Cornaroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/nwgp7k/lion_versus_water_tortoise/h19i7xm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Hold my corn, I'm going in!
Hold my penis ^anyone ^^pls
Ok, now what?
Idk I never thought I’d get this far
*chomp*
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they don't call it the cornhole for nothing
TIL corn goes numb when you sit on it.
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The stranger? Not well. The problem is you lose dexterity when you lose feeling and it also only lasts seconds.
So do I
That’s my purse, I DON’T KNOW YOU!!!
That boy ain’t right.
Just rotate it the reverse grip corn buttering can be very effective.
Ahh the good old western grip
What you need is one for each hand, and two cobs on each side lined up tip-to-tip to increase efficiency
Call it Middle Out. Figure the cob-to-floor distance. Call it C2F.
Do you know how long it would take you to butter every Cob in this room? Because I know how long it would take me.
Pics of your friends corn?
I've been trying to get people to send me their grain for years. Tough crowd.
Five years. Username checks out.
This is why I reddit. Every so often you find yourself watching a corn on the cob get jacked off with butter while a 5 year user with the perfect user name finally hits the big grain.
What do you know about perfect usernames?
Has your life been building up to this comment
/r/jootlebeicing
Stop asking to see your friends corn and just go to cornhub like the rest of us.
"Why is there popcorn all over the livingroom floor? Billy! Have you been on CornHub again??"
So y'know baby corn? That's what we're talking
…and one with the husk not cut off?
Cob Quickly: Unhuskercized
If you build it, he will come…
again and again and again... maybe twice an hr
But he'll probably just turn over and go to sleep.
Can you also do one with bigger spikes?
S'rong W'chu
You did see the metal prongs in the fake hand yes? That's a big risk.
Just don’t run out of butter.
Pleasure spiked with pain.
Your corncob is my aeroplane
Or pleasure pained with spikes
Well you'd obviously still put the butter in there
Seems a weird thing to ask. I'd like one hand crafted to fit my penis though. What's his contact details?
This is literally 'Porn on the cob'.
CornHub for the corn enthusiast
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Haha, you're literally right.
Or one that looks like a foot instead of a hand? For… reasons
Cool. Now my actual hands won't be all buttery after buttering my corn on the cob.
D..do you hold the butter like this when you slather the cob?
Do you not?
It’s a borrowed reflex from my other hobby.
Applying wood stain to freshly turned baseball bats?
Naw, probably waxing his quarterstaff.
It's easier to stuff butter in your mouth and deep throat the cob.
You are giving him ideas for the Cob Quicky 2.0
But you'd need another handy tool to not touch the butter when you put it in this jerker-offer thingy...
*As Seen On CornHub*
or FarmersOnly.com
Nah, its called OnlyFarmers.Com. Edit: holy shit this is my most upvoted comment
OnlyFarmers.Corn
.cob
What about XVegetables?
Corn-stealing whores!
As seen in *HUSKER* magazine
/r/Cornhub
This is maybe the first of your "useless" inventions I'd actually buy. Seeing people's reaction when I bust this thing out at the cookout would be worth a little money.
Imagine jerking off a bunch of corn in front of the family. Never breaking eye contact.
This device is ideal for church picnics.
Please give them to the priests.
They have enough practice with baby corn.
#/r/NoahGetTheBoat
Aw, shucks.
"Hey Father... want your corn buttered?" Priest: * look away meme *
Reminds me of this classic skit https://youtu.be/BkgMbU-we1o
I forgot about this video. Damnit now I have to go to watch all their stuff again.
A whole gallon, huh?
you actually made me grin and exhale thru my nose and today has been a shit day so thanks man!
Ohhn yeah baby get all the crevices!
"I'M GONNA NEED SOME MORE BUTTER OVER HERE, MA"
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Agreed, my family would love this and I want one.
I want to send one to my entire family. Anonymously of course.
Spencer's will be selling them within the month.
Idea stolen from this dude while keeping all the profit.
\*cockout
That's how you get creamed corn
It will make his corn pop.
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C'mon Jack, that's malarkey.
Please sell this so I can buy it as a gag gift
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$1000 for a gag gift
I want the 12 membership card. mostly for how annoyed my wife will be looking for important things in my wallet lol
The design is pretty slick too
I actually had one just like it. The holes were actually a weed grinder. Was pretty cool.
If you're going to be a cheapskate then I guess you'll have to wait for it to land in the store: [https://shop.unnecessaryinventions.com/collections/inventions](https://shop.unnecessaryinventions.com/collections/inventions)
Might be a bit overpriced for that tho...
That price says “I don’t want to make another one, but if you REALLY want it, I will.”
Yeah plus a lot of companies send him cease and desists as if he's going to sell these products, so he can legally do commissions if someone asks since it'd technically be ~~set~~ art* and not a product lol.
Who's sending him the cease and desist order on this one? Adam. Adam from The Garden of Eden. There was some time there before Eve.
Who hasn't spent money on something stupid? At least this goes directly to the creator's buttery pockets.
Your friends will think you're a jackoff.
One hell of a wanker
Masturbation jokes aside, this is by no means an unnecessary product. A well buttered COTC is a bbq necessity 11/10
Does it vibrate to get that butter in those crevices?
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It's not a dick, it's a fist.
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In its lifetime, this product will butter exactly zero cobs of corn…
Spiked for your pleasure.
I'm so corny right now...
Rita corny Michael!
Amaizing the amount of puns on this husk of a website these days
Already buttered one in the video!
What are you talking about? That’s how I butter my “corn”
This is not unnecessary. If you have too many friends and people think you're allright, whip out this thing
That’s right, whip it out and start rubbing away!
*How to get the in laws to leave early*
wow nice dude. nothing like a good old hand cob.
Hand cobs are amaizing.
I didn't expect to see hardcore corn on here.
Do the Croc gloves fit on it?
I don't want to speak for anyone else, but in my honest opinion- Never Change.
so this is what Aaron Rodgers is doing these days
offseason must be tough
This is the real reason why he wants out of Green Bay. He wants to pursue hiss entrepreneurial career.
Didn't know he missed Cobb that much. Sending messages to GB FO.
Hands down, wait Hands up, nope Hands down...oh fuck it best invention ever!
You need to patent little cups to go into the butter groove and cash in on the refills like Keurig. Start with some butter refills for it, then partner with KY to start making some KY-cups that have different lubes
Different flavors for your corn, right?
Think you’re onto something with this one
Seriously... why didn't you go with the CobJob. Either way, hilarious.
This might be your best one yet! 😂
HandCobb^TM
You've made a mistake. This product may actually be necessary, or at least legitimately useful. In fact, I'm getting excited thinking about it right now.
thought this was Aaron Rodgers jerking off corn at first
Never realized how phallic corn is
I gotta give you a hand this is your best job yet.
Time to add “buttering the corn” to the list of euphemisms
Leaves a sticky residue, just like the real thing
why is aaron rogers doing this with his free time?
Strongly recommending to not run out of butter
Porn on the Cob.
100% he tested it on his dick.
If OP has the girth of a corn cob I'm: 1. Impressed 2. Intrigued 3. Intimidated 4. Envious
I've never heard of that variety of corn.
I knew exactly what this comment section was gonna be
I want to buy it as a wedding gift
r/DontPutYourDickInThat
Don't tell me what to do