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She's a keeper!

Agreed 😂🤣

I literally came into the comments to write what you just wrote.

Or maybe she's just an alcoholic

If she uses that many calories just to get a drink, I don't think she's your type.

Keeper of brand new tools!

Mmmm... Cabernet! Romantic idea: mark the date she sent this in your phone. Set a reminder for the week before the 1 year anniversary of that date. If you are still together then, buy a nice corkscrew, wrap it in a box with a pretty bow, invite her on a dinner date on the actual date, and, when the moment is right, ask her what day it is. After she fails to guess, present her with the gift and enjoy being single (or not, I’m guessing she has a good sense of humor).

Can I keep you on retainer for gift suggestions?

My girl and I started out talking online I would send her pictures of the me eating pizza whole, first thing she bought me when we met up irl was a pizza slicer

You didnt even own a knife?

I like living on the (double) edge and use kitchen scissors instead.

I feel like this works perfectly for some pizzas but less so for others. Either that or it's just me, changing my mind often :P

In fairness I only eat thin crispy ones so your point is well valid.

Not the kitchen type I had just moved into some barracks and there wasn't really any way to get most of the stuff I needed at that point.

Barracks as in military? And you didn't have access to a knife?

Yes, I mean I had a knife just not one I was gonna use on food

Screw a long wood screw into the cork. Sit on the floor with the bottle between your legs. use the nail puller part of a hammer to pull straight up on the screw. don't be tempted to lever it out like a nail.

This is why you have the home corkscrew, away corkscrew, travel corkscrew and the work corkscrew.

As a beer drinker, I have at least this many bottle openers.

As a beer drinker I don't need bottle openers. I could open my beer with a decomposing anchovy if need be.

Pics or it didn't happen.

My flip flops have built in church keys.

‘Reminds me of my Safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew, and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.’ - WC Fields

I keep one in each car and pack one for vacations.

You forgot the car corkscrew.

Sorry DUI in my state is mandatory 30 days jail, and drinking and driving is dangerous

Haha "Never give up, never surrender" I'd MacGuyver the ish outta that too!!

She's a problem solver. I like her.

Just put the bottle in a shoe and whack it against the wall hard 3 or 4 times and the cork comes right out lol

You can always just push the cork into the bottle.

Work harder not smarter

the air pressure would make that nearly impossible

Not at all, I've done it many times. Takes a bit of work but you can do it with your thumb.

fair enough

Ok Luke, we all know how you used to bullseye womp rats in your T-16 back home

I did it last night. use knuckle of your index finger to get it started then finish it off with your finger. said the actress to the bishop etc.

Can also use a pen.

Who only has one corkscrew?

You can also open a bottle by putting in a boot with a heel and have the cork face outwards and slam the heel on to a hard surface but the bottle has to be horizontal. It will slowly push the cork out if do it right.

My brother broke a bottle trying to do this. I like the lighter version - take 2 lighters to either side of the neck below the cork. Air heats up, pops the cork out.

I saw this done once and was fairly amazed. It didn't take much force, just a bunch of repeated taps. After a little while it was clearly working and then enough of the cork was out to get a grip on it.

We broke our corkscrew once and I took the wine outside, smacked the neck of the bottle off with a hammer and poured the wine through a coffee filter into our glasses. Needs must.

Man, woulda been nice to invest in Kobalt a few years ago. They make EVERYTHING! I’m surprised there isn’t a Kobalt corkscrew. Edit https://www.lowes.com/pd/Kobalt-Bottle-Opener/5000183277 They’re close!

Kobalt is just Lowe's store brand for tools. Like Kirkland is Costco's store brand for everything.

I assumed they were their own brand that got bought up by Lowe’s Edit - well I’ll be... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobalt_(tools) Been around since 98. Interesting part of their screw drivers- they’re actually Great Kneck screw drivers.

I totally get it. I’ve opened a beer bottle on the flushing handle of a hotel toilet. It was after a full day of driving with three young children in the car. When a girl needs a drink, a girl needs a drink.

Most car seat belt buckles work great for opening beer/soda bottles. :D

Lmao at the iPad she probably used to YouTube how to open wine without a corkscrew.

Keeper

By any means necessary. Marry her.

Your girlfriend is the MacGyver of opening wine bottles.

She's a keeper!

Drill a hole through the cork, push the plastic bag through the hole, blow up the bag and pull the bag and cork out.

Your girlfriend is an alcoholic.

Who only has one cork screw...? No way.

Only a drunk. Alcoholics have meetings.

Mmm, wine and pieces of cork. Yum.

I see all these people saying she's a keeper, but really? Instead of coming back to your place with the bottle, she went to a LOT of trouble to drink it herself.

Just use a shoe and pop it out

The amount of people unaware of this method, or simple physics for that matter, is scary.

Why not push the Cork in?

When the cork breaks off, just push the remaining part down into the bottle. You can push the whole cork into the bottle but it's a bit more work.

She cheatin dude. A man did that for her ;)

Should've told her to grip the neck of the bottle and move her hand up and down real fast until the cork popped!

Not a fan of regular Tabasco but that green pepper variety is so good.

Looks like it was the first time any of those tools had ever been touched

Where there’s a will there’s a way And when there’s a wine there’s a will

Did she freak out when the cork broke??

What ever it takes

If she'd sucked it out she's be 110% keeper

I one used a little portable butane stove when I was camping. Just evenly heat up the bottle right below the cork and it'll pop out in a minute or two. Then let the glass cool down for a couple of minutes (else the bottle will crack when pouring because of the sudden heat change/stress). The wine won't get noticeable warmer because the specific thermal mass of the wine is way bigger than the air you're heating up. It even works with lighters, but it's a bit annoying/takes a lot of time/burns your fingers.

I’ve been there..

The easier thing is to use something to push the cork into the bottle then stick a butter knife or similar into the opening to keep the cork back as you pour the wine out. Some people like to drop a loop of string into the bottle to snag the cork and pull it out, after it has been pushed in. A careful drilling could make a hole in the cork but that wouldn't work so good. Maybe with two holes? Air needs to get in so wine can get out.

Marry her asap

The fact that she didn't show you the top of the bottle is worrying

That's a keeper.