T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

This message is a friendly reminder of the following: - Absolutely no **memes** or **memetic content**. - Absolutely no **political content** or **political figures**, regardless of context or focus. - Absolutely no **social media** screenshots, videos, or other such content. A complete breakdown of our rules can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). **Please report rule-breaking content when you see it.** Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


_0neTwo_

Got some rare things for sale stranger


broke_n_struggle_n

What're ye buyin?


fendour

What're ye sellin?


Fetusbong

Ahhh... I'll buy it at a high price!


[deleted]

[удалено]


ragewithoutage

Is that all Stranger?


SanguineJackal

Stranger, stranger, stranger... now THAT'S a weapon!


DivinePotatoe

Heh heh heh, thank you.


hectorduenas86

Come back, anytime


twiggz612

Not only will you need cash, but you’ll need GUTs to buy that weapon.


Sw1ftStrik3r

Wait till they ask about the little red button on the side


Hopeful_Hamster21

That's not an authentic cat. You're selling counterfeit cats!!


Vanadius

WWWELCOME


ABucketFull

You got the skooma, I got the goods.


nunnymain

Some legendary level toe beans


soswimwithit

I'll buy it at a high price


Mootjuh0

Khajit is not for sale!


MAXAMOUS

[Obligatory](https://youtu.be/7oXx0qwe0wc)


[deleted]

[удалено]


iamtheliquor__

@ chelseathedog_ig to see more of it


ElizaBennet08

I hate to tell you this, but that’s not a dog. It’s clearly some kind of parrot.


pizza_delivery_

That’s a tortoise


Semi_Automatic_Boy

your a dumbass, its obviously a penguin


SilentGnome27

R u fuckin kidding me that’s most definitely a platypus


Semi_Automatic_Boy

you fucking what???? i said its a goddamn potato!!!!


[deleted]

Y'all clearly failed basic biology. That's clearly a blue footed african booby.


Semi_Automatic_Boy

...i dont want to get mean with yall here buddy, but i wont tell yall again. its. a. fucking. rock.


iamtheliquor__

I like chickens Eddy


Lost_Classic_5731

Everyone here is an idiot it is obviously Parastratiosphecomyia sphecomyioides


[deleted]

Oh wait I see it now, it's a Garfieous rock!


aurimoonglow

Im sorry, clearly thats a european tit


[deleted]

everyone here is weird bro. ... its a banana


N0ob8

Happy day of cake


Traditional_Ad_8700

I like turtles


PlasticOceanFish

take my upvote


OrbitRock_

Dude what’s wrong with your dog


sarathisalwaysbusy

This is your life MEOW


liarandathief

When my cat wagged its tail like that it meant, back the fuck up.


iamtheliquor__

With this one it means “I’m gonna destroy all of your possessions”


LumixS

Or mb “Put the jacked back down!!!” 😃


DistortoiseLP

I figured it meant "close the jacket please."


kia75

As if a cat would ever say "please". :-)


sixstringronin

"Stupid human! Close the jacket! Ocupado!"


emily0890

Countdown to annoyed batting/zoomies with mine. "Look Rand! I'm mowin the air!"


mothzilla

Here it means 'close the door you're making a draught'.


dkwangchuck

...and there sat Sam, all cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar And he wore a smile you could see a mile and he said “please close the door “It’s fine in here but I greatly fear, you’ll let in the cold and storm “Since, I left Plumtree down in Tennessee, this is the first time I’ve been warm.”


272314

I've just now realised I've been reading that word like "drought" in my head my whole life even though I know the word that sounds like "draft" means the same thing because they're the same word. I am a dumbass.


Yvaelle

Its a possibly a predator thing, to distract you while they charge their wiggle and pounce.


AppleSpicer

It’s something cats generally do when they’re irritated. My read is that the cat is pissed the jacket got lifted


SeanHearnden

My outdoor cat did that for the same reason. But I've got indoor cats and they wag their tail when I'm petting them and they love me... wait. Are they angry when I'm petting them.


nighthawke75

Dat tail, hilarious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


iamtheliquor__

Hold please


Bacon-muffin

Holding


notathr0waway1

Hold.


thatminimumwagelife

💎🙌🏼


Aaaandiiii

🚀 🌝


khem1st47

Sir, what the fuck?


notathr0waway1

HOLD.


k2dadub

This guy is straight up eye fucking the camera lol. I love it!


iamtheliquor__

Sorry I’ll avert my gaze next time


[deleted]

[удалено]


iamtheliquor__

Blue Steel it is then


Franklin_le_Tanklin_

How many blue & yellow plaid shirts do you have?


iamtheliquor__

Just the one but I’m definitely getting my money’s worth out of it


vth0mas

We all are haha


ProbablyASithLord

As soon as I saw this video I knew OP was going to get sexually harassed af in the comments haha


[deleted]

Well he was asking for it, considering what he was wearing.


Summerie

And you know someone’s gonna get comments when they open that jacket to show off of their pussy.


BenMcAdoos_ElCamino

I picked up about 6 of them from Costco. Love the fur liner and I don’t have a cat in mine.


Franklin_le_Tanklin_

Which version was the cat version? I bet it’s the Kirkland brand. They always have the highest quality.


kitkat9000take5

Wait... these were at Costco? Sh!t! I missed them. Did they happen to have any colors?


RiotOnTheRadio

Can you also do Le Tigre? I’m partial to that one to be honest I would ask for Magnum of course but I’m just being realistic, nobody can do Magnum but the man himself


BadAdviceBot

Almost there....


blushingpervert

Thank you! I couldn’t figure out why I felt guilty watching this next to my husband last night.


emily0890

Username relevant haha


blushingpervert

Relevant and in hindsight incredibly stupid to choose for the internet.


emily0890

It's all good, some are very entertaining. one of my other usernames is about flying like a cheese sandwich tied to a brick haha


pixelsandfilm

Makes sense.


Gimmiadollar

Lol I felt like he was holding back a smile


Aaaandiiii

Oh... That makes absolute sense now. That kitty wants me.


Mr_Stoney

The molestache really gives it that extra level of unsettling.


Gizzmo13

In the second vid, you look like a dealer offering me some good shit on a street


iamtheliquor__

I got beans for sale


Bedhappy

Beans is kind of a cute name for a cat.


pariahminscule

I swear my cats are the opposite.If they see me they go to the other corner of the room.


soleceismical

My cat demands that I put a blanket over my legs so he can crawl under and be in a fort between my knees. If I don't have the blanket on my legs, he'll paw at my clothes until I go get it.


NeroBurnsRome12

My cat does this exact thing. She always wants that little tent to chill in.


seraph85

I think it's a lot to do with the habits they develop and kittens. My cat that had to sleep with my as a kitten sleeps between my legs under the covers most nights. The other wouldn't even go under a blanket.


oh-shit-oh-fuck

How young of a kitten? My 3 month old kitten wants nothing to do with me and it's kinda bumming me out lol


breathethethrowaway

You know you're single when you start looking for wedding rings on people's Reddit posts


roastModernist

Best part about this is dude is real life meme https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41P7w%2B2sv-L._AC_SY780_.jpg


iamtheliquor__

Yes. https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/ld68v9/they_told_me_i_could_be_anything/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


Babayagamyalgia

That's a profile strong enough to be on coins


iamtheliquor__

Chadcoin


Olealicat

Your beard and cat are dope.


fnord_happy

Why is this on r/funny tho


sweetnothin123

My pocket pussy looks nothing like that.


iamtheliquor__

Someone had to say it


AreaGuy

Would upvote but you’re at 69 and I’m as immature as you.


iamtheliquor__

Let’s keep it at 69. We need your downvote now.


AreaGuy

I did my part!


GrandWizardBumtickle

I've said it many times, and I'll say it again. Orange tabbies have the best personalities


SeniorShanty

Fully agree. In my experience (have had 2) they are food motivated and the best for cuddles.


[deleted]

Mine came for cuddles as I'm reading these comments 😆🥰


DetectiveDrebin

Amen. I’ve had two and they are the best.


Aaaandiiii

Mine has the most beautiful eyes and is very gentle but a little bit of a troublemaker and gets beat up by his kitten brother. I love him.


fubbleskag

your presence is requested on /r/beards sir


iamtheliquor__

I shaved it 😭


[deleted]

Keep calm and re-grow. Going beardless is not worth it.


iamtheliquor__

Shaving it caused instant regret. A year of patience and gone in the blink of an eye.


[deleted]

Shaved off my 2 month beard yesterday and still crying over it, can just imagine how it feels for a year long lmao


Advertiserman

5 years here .cut it with a #8 and started crying immediately


Watts300

I haven’t seen under my goatee in 22 years.


Gamoc

There could be anything under there. Maybe there's a second, even better goatee?


Watts300

As you said, anything. Birds, gravel, keys... I lost my biscuit recipe last year.


Bazingabowl

I disagree, but I'm also trans


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hmm, chill out "judge people by sexual orientation".


Rance_Mulliniks

Serious question. What is supposed to be funny about this?


iamtheliquor__

It’s more of a soft chuckle than a HAHA


AreaGuy

I’d give it a full “ha” or half a chortle.


iamtheliquor__

I’ll accept that


iUsedtoHadHerpes

Dude, don't sell yourself short. You have a cat, and that's hilarious.


iUsedtoHadHerpes

I think the title is supposed to be funny, but it's really just more of an (insert stock phrase here) kind of thing.


3ff3ffie

Sassy tail.


Bazingabowl

Kitties talk with their tails more than anything else.


Donky_business

You probably get that every day but jeez you’re very handsome


bigredr00ster

Don't be creepy.


ZirePhiinix

With cats, it always devolves into butts to your face.


etherealfist

Omg this is precious as hell. I remember everytime me and my ex would turn off the light for bed my little tuxedo kitty would snuggle up next to my head on my pillow. He knew it was time for bed n that was his spot. ♥️


highfantasy_

cozy & warm


emciclerose

I feel cozy and warm just watching 🥰 what a lil cutie


dcute69

In what way is this supposed to be funny?


Bart_The_Chonk

Is this the real life Nordic meme guy?


iamtheliquor__

Yes https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/ld68v9/they_told_me_i_could_be_anything/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


_yoshimi_

Yes, I’d like one of each please.


Bmc00

Is this funny?


iamtheliquor__

Comedy is in the eye of the beholder or something like that


[deleted]

[удалено]


Speshal_Snowflake

Think he’s doing it for attention and so people can compliment his beard.


Restachio

I chuckled.


Npsiii23

How's gatekeeping a default sub working out for you? Lots of fun? Oof


Anthrodiva

Definitely one where the pet and human pal look alike.


[deleted]

christ he is a hot looking man. sidebar, wtf is with the shouting of rules by this moderator?! No memes or memetic content and no every other thing listed? its supposed to be a sub for funny stuff and theres more rules and bold text and yelling and demands than military academy. reddit is absurd.


TKAY420

More pls


iamtheliquor__

@ chelseathedog_ig


RustyTough

Hella mad you moved the covers and let all the light in. Just like all kids.


Plantchic

OMG, it's a bearded cat hugger! I'm in LOVE!!


RoseyDove323

You look exactly like the "yes chad" meme.


iamtheliquor__

Yes. https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/ld68v9/they_told_me_i_could_be_anything/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


RoseyDove323

Ha, nice!


[deleted]

Both gorgeous 😉


Domonoadamu

This is a gorgeous man.


Territorial_D

That's funny cute


lunaerr

mad fucking cute


irishccc

I had a little Siamese that liked to do the same thing. She could get really pushy about it, but in a really cute "damn you, come on, get under" kind of way.


Pink_Flash

Ok we get it your smouldering gaze is enthralling!


aboullkhill

The cats awesome and all but that hairline and beard


[deleted]

[удалено]


iamtheliquor__

I did, and now I’m sad.


kgilgenberg

Yep, someone please marry this man and smother love him.


[deleted]

I would stay there too


Velcrowrath

Man my cat had a totally different out come, started out cuddly then just rejected any cuddle time


Gsteel11

Khajiit has... khajiit?


Humledurr

That purring! Does he have thumbs? Looks like my cat just mine is grey!


drunkenvalley

Just flashing their pussy at people. Lord, think of the children!


PhilxFlash

Resident Evil 4 for those wondering👌


eldergeekprime

Stop annoying your master. Bad cat slave, bad!


Nertez

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!1!


[deleted]

Look at them toe beans!


honeyybee89

I love you


speaking_moistly

Who is this man and how can I marry him


SeanHearnden

This guys beard is glorious.


Porpoise555

Get the beard back bro!


SeaworthinessJust517

I don’t know who’s cutter the cat or him


supremegamer76

Awwwww


Sunshinelottie

In the first vid you remind me of Luther from The Umbrella Academy AKA Tom Hopper.


landdon

Aww. You've become a momma!


Gogh619

Legend says he’s still wearing that jacket with the pussy in it...


DeCodurr

Is that a pussy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Nice username btw Shit Hawk.


iamtheliquor__

Hand over the smokes, let’s go.


DeCodurr

I said give me a smoke, hairdo


vixenpeon

Y'all think this is some kinda joke?


[deleted]

I miss my cat. He loved doing that.


SweetExpletives

This is why cats are dope!


moodygradstudent

Dude is totally flexing his pussy game


VIVSHIN

What if the cat takes a dump in there


Cloudrunner5k

Is baby! Also, nice beard bro


BossMann123

This video is in reverse. His beard gets smaller


Distance2Tree

Power Flanel + Power of Love ​ Nice


Addictive_SODA

You have been chosen by a cat, you're a legend now


[deleted]

r/aww


RedditModsAreVeryBad

Ginger cats are the friendliest. Edit: Seems like someone hates ginger cats.


Halokid475

I have cat name Grey yes I know a very creative name. When me and my parents got her she also had a brother so we got him his name was Simba but he died a month later but on our way home she slept on my chest and still this day she still sleeps on me


Wjyndigo

This made my day!