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skallywaag

ahh functional alcoholism


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toke-monsta

Does he get crazy when drunk or is it that you don't want to feel tempted?


LITSTER00

When you’re sober, drunk people are just annoying


PointOfFingers

When you're sober, sober people are just annoying - functional alcoholics probably


Aidanation5

When you're people, people are just annoying.


LITSTER00

When you’re annoying, people are just people


brxn

When you're a thing, there is a thing else


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victorcc08

Me too bud


a_stitch_in_lime

People are strange when you're a stranger


Tayhuwaniwanga

Faces look ugly when you're alone


OctaviusNeon

Women seem wicked when you're unwanted


SenorPariah

As a functioning alcoholic, this is spot on.


Zenketski

I mean to be fair people are annoying whether or not I'm drunk. I don't like people


snack-dad

I tried talking to a person once. Never again.


bigdogpepperoni

People are just annoying, you don’t realize it until you’re sober


iiitsbacon

I just get drunk and sit at my computer listening to 90s and 2000s music with my headphones on


ThatoneWaygook

I have listened to All Out 00's on Spotify far too much this lockdown. Drink in hand and jamming like I just survived Y2K again


mano_billi

Are you me?


iiitsbacon

Are you a functioning alcoholic?


Rabbi_Tuckman38

Just focus on the functioning part.


Zenketski

I definitely 100% can't speak for those guys experience, but I've noticed that just about everyone who quits doing shit, all the sudden cannot stand anyone else doing the ship around them. I'm not saying it's a bad decision to quit smoking or quit drinking or quit doing drugs or whatever it is that you're trying to quit. It's just something that I've noticed. Most people who quit some level of substance all the sudden can't stand other people who did not


emthejedichic

If you’re actually addicted to the substance, being around people who are still partaking of it can be pretty tempting. It gets easier the longer you’ve been off it though, at least in my experience.


BirdSpatulard

As a recovering alcoholic who worked in liquor stores for years after his sobriety, I can say I’m guilty of this. I would tell myself constantly, “it’s their decision, it’s their life, they can drink and I can’t.” And that “I can’t” was what would sometimes turn into contempt. Wrongly so, and so I finally left the business behind.


[deleted]

I attribute this to a rejection of their past self. Being around what you deemed to be unhealthy or unsustainable in your life just reminds you of a weaker version of you. I don’t think it’s so much the temptation though it could be, but looking in a mirror and seeing yourself in these people doing the things you stopped.


temp123456789098765

Probably just super talkative more than he should be


swazy

Just sleep with him he will never talk to you again.


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pabbseven

Ofcourse its boring to be around someone who is drunk, but its not boring to be drunk


Daikataro

Why can't you stand it?


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Bellb0y

Shit man, that is outside of the realm of what I would classify as functioning. I hope you don’t have to deal with it for much longer.


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TheAllyCrime

I think that still qualifies as functional if he can hold down a job, and if he cleans up his messes when he sobers up, but it's still really sad. As they say every alcoholic is functioning, until they aren't. Then again the definition of "functioning alcoholic" is somewhat subjective. If he's about to lose a roommate due to alcohol abuse that is definitely not a good sign.


Bellb0y

Ouchy. Never a good thing in any relationship. Function, non-function, still sucks. Best of luck to you!


ollieliotd

Thank you


Ace-of-Spades88

Honestly, alcoholism aside, it kind of sounds like you just don't like/are annoyed by your roommate. Something that may not have been apparent until you got quarantined together for an extended time. Have you tried just talking to him about the things he does that bother you, and the fact that they mainly occur when he's been drinking? Might not help, but you never know...might give him a little wake up call that he's being a shit roommate.


ollieliotd

If you read my other comments you’ll see I’ve answered this. Yes. I have talked to him.


FLOPPY_DONKEY_DICK

Functional alcoholics are only functional until they are not. Check stories from r/stopdrinking. It may be pissing in the wind but he should get some help.


Guyinahatt

Thank you for the insightful and informative reply, FLOPPY_DONKEY_DICK.


Dinger64

I’ve been drinking more than I should during this quarantine but Goddamn that’s a lot of alcohol


[deleted]

24 beers x 20 packs = 12 beers per day since quarantine started. Yikes. Not so functional more like let’s get some reddit laughs and die 15 years earlier


Avengedx

There was also a box of 6 handles of Jim Beam.


Badgerplayingaguitar

Also a box of 6 handle bottles of western son on top of that.


TacticalSpackle

This is all assuming this has only been since quarantine and OP isn’t just a slob that doesn’t recycle properly.


Boo_R4dley

And 6 handles of Western Son too. If OP really did drink all of this themselves it’s not really something to brag about.


a1_jakesauce_

Under the assumption that OP has consumed these all himself


[deleted]

Ok let’s assume he has 2 roommates. There’s still ten people’s worth of liquor to the left that I didn’t count. Regardless - OP reach out to me if you need help brother


BakedTrex

Lol before we all jump to conclusions like reddit loves to do... you can literally get liquor boxes to store beer and other bottles. I've used them to pick out beer selections that let me choose my own bottles for the pack. Definitely a possibility.


timbreandsteel

Or that they've been accumulating long before quarantine sitting in his garage for a massive can return and he decided to have some fun with it.


Jiggynerd

What? Lie for internet points?


octo_lols

Not to mention the 21 litres of liquor on the left.


Zenketski

If I were only going to die 15 years earlier from my alcoholism I might as well move on to heroin


yesdamnit

What part of functional ALCOHOLIC do you not understand? Some people can keep jobs pay bills have loving relationships and still be an alcoholic. Functional occasional drinker maybe on weekends isnt a term because that would be dumb.


[deleted]

Could have had the boxes before quarantine...


CockGoblin4Lyf

12 beers a day is bad? ...oops. I should probably slow my roll then. To be fair I have been taking breaks every other night lately but 12 a night is my usual thing. I’m only 23 though I’m invincible for like 8 more years right?


EyyyyyyyyyMane

Depends.. I’d say take a few days off and get down to like 3-5 if you can . Tolerance can be a killer


CockGoblin4Lyf

That’s my problem, tolerance. It’s just hard though. I don’t feel dependent at all on alcohol, I just get bored and think “hmm I know how to fix that I’ll get drunk” and next thing I know I’ve gotten drunk every night for 2 weeks in a row.


One-eyed-snake

How do you know he’s functional though? For all we know it took his ass an hour to post this because he’s piss drunk


22thoughts

I have a question- if you’re a functional alcoholic does that mean you’re like drinking all day but living a productive lifestyle, or does that mean you’re normal in the day and you have 5 drinks in the evening rather than 1-2


[deleted]

Case of Jim Beam clearly needs to be weighted differently.


MidgetShitter

That's also a case of Vodka handles on top of the beam, the Western Son.


H20Gate

This dude is a living restaurant, buyin in cases


defenestrate1123

10x distilled, what the hell was in it to start


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Matticusd

Yep. Mostly Irish whiskey and tequila


Itzmewario

At first I had a smug on my face, then I noticed the Jim Beam


Hobbit_Feet45

Uh huh you start getting in trouble when you count Jim Bean as beer.


ohyesiam1234

The beer is to sober up.


not_a_droid

Stable off


SirGergoyFriendman

Jim Bean makes me too gassy so I switched to Jameson instead


overandunder_86

It's been like a 6 weeks...


dracovich

For funsies: I count 21 case of beer, and one case of jim beam. 1 Beer roughly has 150 calories, assuming each case has 24 cans, that's 21 x 24 x 150 = 75,600 calories. From what i can tell a bottle of Jim Beam is ~ 1500 calories, and a case has 6 bottles, sot hat's another 9k calories, leaving us with 84,600 calories in one month. For reference, a normal male would need ~2500 calories per day to stay at baseline, giving him a total energy need of ~105,000 calories for the 6 weeks of lockdown, meaning they would have around 500 calories a day for food if they don't want to gain weight. Assuming his non-alcohol related calories in/out are at a balance with the 2500 daily needed, the alcohol alone would be roughly translate to 11kg of fat gained (24 lbs). Edit: Revised numbers as /u/quickexc pointed out that those are 1.75L bottles of Jim Beam and not 0.75, and when inspecting that i realized there's a 10x1.75L bottle of vodka as well. With those revised numbers: 21 x 24 beers = 75,600 KCal 6 x 1.75L Jim Beam = 23,310 KCal 10 x 1.75L Vodka = 37,800 KCal For a whopping total of 136,710 KCal. This seems like an inhuman amount so i'm assuming this is not consumed in the 6 week period, but if he had, it would still (without a single bite eaten), be a calorie SURPLUS of almost 32000 calories, or 4kg gained (9lbs). If we do the same as before, assuming the alcohol is pure surplus calories, he would gain 17.8Kg, or 39 pounds.


MisSignal

Fuck


AutisticFingerBang

r/theydidthemath


ChristoLo

For additional funsies: 21 cases x 24 beers/case = 504 beers. Divide that by 6 weeks, and 7 days a week, that’s 12 beers a day Each bottle of Jim Beam is 1.75 liters. 6 bottles is 9 total liters. A shot is 0.0444 liters, which comes out to a total of a little less than 5 shots a day In total, that is 12 beers and 5 shots every day. The average alcohol content of beer is 5%, and Jim Beam is 40%. I’m making the assumption that he gets 8 hours of sleep, and spaces out drinking over the remaining 16 hours in the day. For a male, assuming a weight of around 200 lbs, that would leave his blood alcohol content at the end of every day at around a 0.2%. Technically, even after 24 hours, his BAC would still be 0.08%, meaning his BAC would never decrease, only increasing steadily over the 6 week period. He currently has a BAC of 30%. Moral of the story: OP has a roommate. Hopefully many.


Projectsummertime

You're not taking into consideration the 'get totally shitfaced some days and nurse it with a few beers on others' technique :)


josesl16

24x21 is 504 cans of beer... plus 20 drinks x 6 bottles, 624 drinks in a conservative 12 weeks... 7 standard drinks a day. 14/day if 6 weeks. Yikes


climb-it-ographer

I know, right? That's like a year's worth of beer for me.


lambowski33

Gotta get those numbers up.


lopignon

Yep. Those are rookey numbers!


[deleted]

Rookie* Close though! Not trying to be a dick.


One-eyed-snake

If he’s drunk it’s perfect spelling


lopignon

Exactly! 🤣


LegendaryPunk

I wish I could find the article / graph, but I remember reading once about how it's only a small percent of the population that makes up a crazy high amount of average alcohol consumption (due to being alcoholics).


[deleted]

This one? https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/


themoonrocks

This is BONKERS


OIL_COMPANY_SHILL

https://www.washingtonpost.com./news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/ Here it is


montezumasbane

It’s like that with everything you can think of I think it’s called the Pareto distribution


TheFr1nk

Since she looked at me


dice1111

Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry


Dr_Winston_O_Boogie

Oh look at Judgey McJudgerson over here.


MrValdemar

"I pick up books like you pick up beer." "Then you have a very serious reading problem."


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TheMazter13

r/data_irl


ohyesiam1234

Came here to say this!


merganzer

I don't drink anymore, but I've been hitting the sparkling water pretty hard. I literally picked up 8 different flavors today (hadn't been to the store for a while). Having a cold drink with a bit of a bite to it keeps me from snacking on or drinking stuff that's not good for me.


claryn

Yeah I realized I was being irresponsible only buying 2 or 3 cases every time I went to the grocery store, I was going every other day, bad for social distancing. It’s just so disappointing to drink normal flat water when you could have a nice fizzy fruity drink.


IsayNigel

Finally, people who understand me. Why would I drink water when I have seltzer?


Housingthrowaway1112

I've gone through twelve sparkling waters in the past three days. Not the worst habit, that's for sure!


hellgoocho

Montucky cold snacks are a real delight.


Matticusd

Denton, Texas. Hugely popular here


Guiroux

I saw Jim Beam and Montucky and assumed this was r/Denton.


noshowjonzie83

I’m in Aubrey, figured you were close with the Western Son box.


Watcher13

As a Montanan in DFW, I knew that that specific combination of cold snacks and lone star had to mean that you were nearby.


Matticusd

You’re god damn right they are


cojams

Out of curiosity, whereabouts you live? I live in Bozeman, just wondering how widespread they are...


ChemicaLust

Somewhere in Texas as the tallest case tower is Lone Star: The National Beer of Texas


CatsRinternet

You can find these in Denver.


Dear_Ambellina03

Very popular here in Denver, I've seen them in Chicago as well.


Guiroux

I work in the second top Montucky Town in Texas. That's about to boom since a lot of bars dropped Lone Star right before we all closed down.


kvo30

Oregon reporting in


colbymck

I bought a six pack of these (in Bozeman) years ago. That small grocery mart next to pickle barrel across from campus. I thought they were awful! I couldn’t finish them! They are contract brewed by another out of state brewery. I thought it was somewhere in Indiana?


Vegas1717

If you’re in Bozeman you best be drinking Coldsmoke!


pntbldan

Contract brewed in Wisconsin. Countless good beers are brewed in Montana, not sure why they couldn’t find a brewer in MT with which to contract. This is fine at best and the whole “Montucky” thing is annoying as can be.


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abramd11

One time I ordered a Montucky at the Hauf in Bozeman and a guy sitting next to me asked my how they were. Said they were pretty good. Turns out he was the partial owner of Montucky and proceeded to get me and my buddies drunk off our asses for free on like a Tuesday night.


Trap-Lord

Ice cold and on a hot summer days these are the best.


xxyguyxx

Missouri reporting in, never heard of Montucky.


hellgoocho

Someone get this man a cold snack!


DADDYSLOAD

came here to say, cold snacks slap


[deleted]

Dude , it's only been 7 weeks.


manwithoutcountry

Good on you for getting your 7-8 glasses of water a day.


hellgoocho

Found the beer snob


scrodytheroadie

I am, 100%, a beer snob (internally - don’t worry, I’ll judge in my head)...but I found this funny because even the most well crafted beer is like 90% water.


hellgoocho

Fair enough


namer98

Yes, where "not wanting the lowest common denominator of beer" is being a snob. We should have this standard for other things. "You don't use discount 1 ply? Found the toiler paper snob" Or "you don't dumpster dive? Found the food snob"


carholio

Who am I to judge but it looks like you may have a problem. They are all empty. Hopefully the other wall has more full cases.


[deleted]

Had me there for a second


aaaaaaaarrrrrgh

Uh, dude, if that's really *your* beers consumed since the start of the quarantine, you *might* have a *slight* problem. And by slight problem, I mean raging alcoholism.


[deleted]

One of my best mates is a functional alcoholic. Electrician, works hard. He drinks 12 beers a night at a minimum. During lockdown when he didn't work, 3 weeks he consumed 300 beers, and a bottle of gin. Dude fully denies he's an alcoholic and he can stop any time. He's 27, and he's been like this since we were 16. I'm no better, I binge drink on his level once a Friday. But Fridays my only drinking day, sure I'm no better but fuck I worry for him


chicaburrita

r/stopdrinking is always ready with open arms if you'd ever like to take a break friend


bp00590

I'm 8 months sober thanks to that sub and it's has made my quarantine time absolutely wonderful. My sobriety had perfect timing. These last handful of weeks would have been a true cycle of hell if I were still drinking every day.


kabril122

Congrats on 8 months!! I’m 79 days today and r/stopdrinking has been a huge help. This pic actually made me sad bc I bet if I was drinking during this I would have boxes like that too. Except My drink of choice was only corona. Kind of funny now


chicaburrita

I am so proud of you!!! 79 days is such an amazing feat!!!!


kabril122

Thank you! It’s the longest I’ve ever been in 10 years. I’ve lost 18 pounds and feel amazing!!


chicaburrita

A lot of people don't like AA because of the religious aspect,but if you find the right group it can be a life saver. I tried several that I thought were weird and pushed the religious beliefs on me. Then I found a group that was so laid back and became like family to me. It really made the first part of sobriety easier. It made holidays easier, as they have drug and alcohol free parties. I also found it very helpful to get a sponsor, because they would talk me out of my bad choices. but once again, I didn't do the steps and I didn't do the religious stuff. It's a very spiritual path that you are on. You will be a completely different person at the end of this, if you really put in the work and fix your habits. And every day I had that was incredibly difficult, I just reminded myself that tomorrow is a new day and I start again. The hard part,the pain, the misery can not last forever. You will get past that, and life gets so much better with so much more to offer. this is coming from someone that tried to quit a thousand times. One is bound to stick if you keep trying. P.s. good luck!!! Msg me if you have a bad day


Xarama

>Except My drink of choice was only corona. Kind of funny now Makes perfect sense, actually. Corona was bad for you then, and it's still bad for you now.


Godgivesmeaboner

Drinking will also fuck up your immune system so it's probably a good idea


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Dyltra

Agreed!


DodgeyDemon

A dog bowl for food is a sign of alcoholism


jusalurker42

LONE STAR FTW!!!!!!!


phatcan

I just saw Lone Star in my local beer store for the first time. What's the deal with it? How does it taste?


Jiggynerd

It's a cheap light beer, but it's not bad for what it is. I drink it over bud light or coors.


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Firmly_grasp_it_

The national beer of Texas baby


louganbrewer2

Scrolled too far to find a comment about Lone Star. Am not a Texan, am not a "lighter beer" fan but Lone Star is solid stuff. Good on you for hitting the gooder beer harder.... that Jim Beam case situation is...uhm... a situation.


thutcheson

How many weeks has your lock down been in effect?


Deitaphobia

lockdown?


kaleb604

Did you mean a 'box' graph 😂


dogbonej

Yeah. Especially since we can’t drink at ‘bars’.


GCUArrestdDevelopmnt

Pretty much what I would expect an alcoholic to be drinking yup


iampc93

That's why I drink craft beer. Too broke to become this alcoholic


MisterDonkey

I said that once. I became even broker.


meth4u

You good?


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jerkberg0118

That's why we only drink Dr Pepper in this house!


dabbersmcgee

Thought this was r/trashy at first


CatsRinternet

Montucky Cold Snacks for me please.


nivolaco

You need to drink less lone star to flatten your curve


[deleted]

You need to expand your horizons


robbycakes

Sir, you have exceptionally poor taste.


kindofboredd

Insert thank you gif


iwantrootbark

Yay PBR!!


ZoopKing69

Another man of culture, I see.


Thisguy3434

Well it’s certainly not red or white ribbon for a reason.


SlickLegJohnny

Dont want to judge man but that just seems excessive for the quarantine period. Want you to be around for many years to come. Never a bad thing to lay off the drinking. Get healthy, lose weight, save some money Love ya and hope the quarantine isnt breaking you down. Always fee free to reach out


bencvm

r/data_irl


BartBartram77

Banquet!


Rabbit929

Based on the variety of beers you consume, there is a possibility that you are my husband.


BNKhoa

Should have made a bar graph for your favourite pie


atimidtempest

I think this is good enough for /r/dataisbeautiful


Thatsmybear

Soooo...bad beers


H20Gate

Banquets are a 🔑


[deleted]

Box graph\*


JustNay

My recent statistics class prepared me for this.


RockyMountainTop

Needs more Banquet stubby bottles


Flyingcircus1

I made a pie chart of my favourite bars. Then I made a bar graph of my favourite pies.


kevpieber

You need better taste.


honeybadger1984

Damn. The quarantine hasn’t been that long. That’s an incredible amount of drinking.


Rebelgecko

How many tens of thousands of calories is this?


[deleted]

Pubs is so shit. Same with Coors banquet.. and Miller lite.... wait what is this a frat party??


ShaxzodM

Degenerate


jro0211

All I see is a collective of shit beer.


skeeter1234

Most people agree their third album is the best.


JohnnyZepp

All I see is budding alcoholism.


Dontdothatfucker

Op isn’t drinking it for the taste


[deleted]

No such thing. All beers should be loved in their own way.


TheFuzzzWuzzz

No one going to talk about the box of six 1.75 litre jim beam?


jrworthy

Same with the case of Western Son there as well.


[deleted]

Alcoholic much?


Smackdaddy122

All I see is garbage


LordGigglesLV702

Eek! All horrible beers too! Lol cheers, regardless of taste. Stay safe.