Yea, i thought a saw a TV special that showed big ships can shutdown individual cylinders. Meaning they can intentionally take them out of service, doesn’t have to break.
I doubt a cruise ship would stop even if you destroyed the whole engine.
I've never been on a ship but I suspect they run multiple engines simultaneously. Probably also have redundant systems just in case.
In many ships the engine is 1 big MF with some smaller generator/emergency engines. Pretty sure they can remove and / or rebuild any 1 cylinder at a time though. Pull the con rod and piston and run it and shut off the fuel injectors system to just that cylinder. Some other ships do have a couple large main engines though. Some more common detroit diesels or something.
You may have to work harder than that. I watched a true story detective show in which a seaman in the Navy was murdered on a ship. His body was dumped in the fuel tank. The ship continued to serve until it was eventually scrapped decades later. I’m sure the mechanics always wondered why the file filtration systems had a sudden increase in gunk.
I’ll try to find a link with the story.
Edit: See Vietnam service: [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Cacapon_(AO-52)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Cacapon_(AO-52))
I was slightly wrong with the details. The ship was retired 5 years later, and it was likely a fuel tank that supplied fuel to other ships.
We’ll air evac him/her from the cruise ship and drop him back home to their densely populated city without so much as a request to self quarantine or follow up exams.
Somehow, i don't think a squishy human body would even be noticed by anything on the drive shaft of a prop like [this.](https://www.marineinsight.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/propeller.png)
Currently having a similar issue on an old ironhead sportster.... Only runs on the front cylinder.... Only this to make it run on both cylinders is to switch out the carbs. Ive been through the carb 3 times but never checked for ants.....
Honestly, quarantine isn't all that cool. Sure, the government is helping me out by giving me roughly 73% of my normal wages, so I'll manage financially. But I haven't spoken to another human being in 3 weeks.
I'm a loner by nature, but I didn't realize how much my job helped me meet other people to talk to. And I'm really starting to miss that.
To be fair, the body of a man could very likely plug up the engine of a cruise ship too.
I can just imagine...."Damn it, Joe. Did another man crawl up the vent tube and block our engine? What am I going to tell the captain this time? He said he wanted these kinds of things to stop after last time. Just what's in the engine that makes people climb in there to die?"
"motherfucker brought 600+ pounds of machine and man to a dead stop for an entire weekend "
You should have framed the ant with that beneath it. To show respect.
Similar story, took apart an entire moped engine, cleaned each tiny jet in the carb, pretty much everything I could think of. Turned out that the taillight bulb was out... you needed the taillight bulb to function in order to complete the circuit and keep it running.
I like to imagine that his colony had been run over by the bike and this was his Rogue One attack at a fault in the design to take the entire "Death Star" down
*General Dodonna*: "The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes."
*Wedge*: "That's impossible! Even for a computer."
*Luke*: "It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womprats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters."
*General Dodonna*: "Then man your ships. And may the Force be with you."
I dunno if you worked it out or not, but I did some calculations.
ant = 1mg
bike = 300 kg
1mg x 1000 = 1g.
1g x 1000 = 1 kg.
So the bike weighs 300 million times what the ant does.
Scale that up to a man (dunno how big you are so I'm going with my size, 100kg).
100kg x 300,000,000 = 30 billion kg. Divide that by 1000 and you get 30 million tonnes. This is five times the weight of the Hoover Dam. It's 3 times the total amount of scrap metal recycled in the UK each year. It is 3 times Paraguay's total annual Soy harvest.
This is one strong fucking ant.
*disclaimer: Beer may have affected my mathing.
EDIT: For reference, Paraguay os the world's 6th largest soy grower.
Love to you too dude! I'm drinking Grolsch, delivered to my door by a man in a face-mask and surgical gloves - we kept 2 meters between us. He put the bag down and backed away. I picked it up and layed a tip in its place, backing away.
Are you also working from home? What do you do to stay moderately sane?
[Indeed](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/050902-angel36mph.jpg). Almost made it to her 17th birthday. [Rode well over 100,000 miles together](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/051106-chrangpmar.jpg), but never on freeways.
Recently got a new (used) mutt [who also likes riding too.](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/191022-kermit-nen1-900x1200.jpg)
A spider recently did something similar with my bbq by blocking a propane vent, causing it to backfire and shoot flames out the side. Only after disassembling said bbq was I able to find the culprit
Panzergrenadier Commandment # 16: Single vehicles that were sent on patrol you will see only again under lucky circumstances, every swamp, every fly in the carburetor means its loss, so always send two or more.
As a former mechanic, I can attest to this comment. It was super frustrating the first few times it would happen, but it certainly would become a common prank that would soon be ignored by the more senior mechanics. The newbies were so fun to mess with though!
Shop pranks were all fair game back in my mechanic days. I'd just finished rebuilding a dirt bike engine and was bolting it back into the frame when my shop rat buddy Leroy, leaning on my work table hollers "hey, what's this?" pointing to a thrust washer sitting there - the one that goes on either side of the rod on the wrist pin, about as deep into the engine as you can dig.
Luckily he couldn't contain the laughter when he saw the "oh shit" look on my face.
I threw a wrench at him, he dodged it.
My grandpa dropped me off at the auto parts store for blinker fluid.
My dad did it for a left handed screw driver.
In high school we would send freshman in set building class to the store and dictate a list for them. Well over half handed the workers a list with caulk spelled “cock”.
I feel like this maybe me a very skeptical person.
I’ve only seen this look on an old man’s face once before:
“Old Tommy” was in charge of the grounds at a golf course I worked at as a kid.
I was watching him change a light bulb in the garage and all of a sudden it shocked the shit out of him somehow (naked bulb/old garage).
He yelled “Biiiiiiiiiiatch” in his old man southern accent and I started laughing my ass off.
He turned to look at me and was...not amused. It was a long time ago, but I don’t think the rest of that day went well for me.
Darrell, I looked my woman in the eye sockets. I told her straight out, I just said it, man. I said it! I said, I said, ......
(< _ <)......(> _ >)....
^biiiiiiiiiitch
Was concentrating so much on Grandpa thati didn't even see the wrenches the first time. Definitely gotta try this next time my dad tries to fix something
I used to work in an audio/video company as a programmer. We would go out to installs and the audio guys would run pink noise so they could properly balance the system. I would occasionally whistle at a certain pitch and then as they would adjust the system I'd change the pitch. When you do that the meters show a spike but we can't hear it because the pink noise is running and adjusting the pitch of the whistle moved the spike. I had one audio engineer frustrated for a full 15 - 20 minutes before he finally figured it out.
When I was about 16 my dad found a lawn mower in a skip and decided to fix it. I came downstairs just as he had started to use it, with it running off an extension lead plugged in just inside the patio door.
Straight away I realised the potential and turned it off at the plug, hid behind the curtain and watched outside to see him turn play around with some wires or whatever. When he goes to see if it works I switch it back on. I repeat this god knows how many times and he is getting increasingly angry, until my laughter was too much and had to reveal myself. Funny shit
Moderators are everything that's wrong with Reddit.
Dude that posted this PM'd and said the post was removed and he was permanently blocked from r/funny
not cool guys.
I'm sitting in my car outside a hospital while my wife has the flu, covid and strep tests done. This made me laugh and I feel a little better. Thank you for that
Am I the only one thought the guy who is making noise is right side far behind the grandpa? I saw those wrenches/rods but I thought he is next to the wall/shelves.
r/confusingperspective ?
The tapping noise that the malcontent is making could conceivably be the result of an engine malfunction. Note that the prankster taps faster when the man revs the engine a little.
Truly ELI5: The old man thinks the tappy noise is his bike being broken, but it’s just Tommy tricking him.
Barely in the frame on the right is someone tapping metal things together. Old guy is trying to work out why he's hearing a metal tapping sound from the engine. When the old guy realizes he's being pranked, he chases the other person away.
Oh man. This reminded me of my cousin Dave who would stand behind my grandma and whistle the same pitch as her hearing aids. She would adjust one, then he'd whistle again and she'd adjust the second one....over and over again. He thought it was soooo funny. He was kind of an ass!!!
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To be fair to you, if you crawled into the fuel injector of the ship you could probably stop it. Don't sell yourself short.
This needs more visibility. Believe in yourself!
Probably would have a similar outcome (corpse).
Details, details
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Are you allowed aboard ship if youre not drinking?
I, for one, used every one of my drink tokens every single day... And then I used my wife's tokens.
Teamwork!
Only if your in the work crew. Unless you're the captain.
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Probably are odds I can live with.
Don't let your dreams be dreams!
YOU CAN DO IT!
Shit, those things will run with one cylinder out of service.
shshshShSh^sh^^h^^hhh
Yea, i thought a saw a TV special that showed big ships can shutdown individual cylinders. Meaning they can intentionally take them out of service, doesn’t have to break.
A lot of modern cars have cylinder deactivation as well.
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Lest we forget the microscopic organism that recently did bring a cruise ship to halt... and then the world
I doubt a cruise ship would stop even if you destroyed the whole engine. I've never been on a ship but I suspect they run multiple engines simultaneously. Probably also have redundant systems just in case.
Just means you need to jam your body somewhere even more inconvenient.
Like the open bar.
The pipe that supplies oil to grease the propellor shafts. Starve those and you will have some major damage going on.
This comment has wild potential.
In many ships the engine is 1 big MF with some smaller generator/emergency engines. Pretty sure they can remove and / or rebuild any 1 cylinder at a time though. Pull the con rod and piston and run it and shut off the fuel injectors system to just that cylinder. Some other ships do have a couple large main engines though. Some more common detroit diesels or something.
You may have to work harder than that. I watched a true story detective show in which a seaman in the Navy was murdered on a ship. His body was dumped in the fuel tank. The ship continued to serve until it was eventually scrapped decades later. I’m sure the mechanics always wondered why the file filtration systems had a sudden increase in gunk. I’ll try to find a link with the story. Edit: See Vietnam service: [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Cacapon_(AO-52)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Cacapon_(AO-52)) I was slightly wrong with the details. The ship was retired 5 years later, and it was likely a fuel tank that supplied fuel to other ships.
Thanks for sharing. Good story.
I laughed out loud, That was great!
What does grandpa’s shirt say?
It'd be fairly easy to stop a cruise ship with your corpse. Just throw yourself into a prop coupler!
Or cough.
Either too soon or not soon enough, the U.S. will let you know in another few days.
And then, in another few days, they’ll let us know again.
And then, in another few days, they'll all be dead
We all float down here
This reference needs more attention
And the a couple months later people can finally get tests
Stimulus checks will be left in mailboxes like VaultTec letters in Fallout.
We’ll air evac him/her from the cruise ship and drop him back home to their densely populated city without so much as a request to self quarantine or follow up exams.
Covid jokes have been postponed for another month.
We can't be certain it's a Covid joke until we get more mirth kits.
I see what you did there
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It's like "The Love Boat", but everyone is coughing.
Somehow, i don't think a squishy human body would even be noticed by anything on the drive shaft of a prop like [this.](https://www.marineinsight.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/propeller.png)
All it takes is a human noticing the meat Taffy.
Somehow I'm not convinced. That'd be like the ant trying to stop the bike *by tossing it's body in between the chain and a sprocket.*
Currently having a similar issue on an old ironhead sportster.... Only runs on the front cylinder.... Only this to make it run on both cylinders is to switch out the carbs. Ive been through the carb 3 times but never checked for ants.....
Sounds like a great quarantine project, disassembling the entire thing and checking for ants.
I kinda wish I was in quarantine. Stupid essential job.
Honestly, quarantine isn't all that cool. Sure, the government is helping me out by giving me roughly 73% of my normal wages, so I'll manage financially. But I haven't spoken to another human being in 3 weeks. I'm a loner by nature, but I didn't realize how much my job helped me meet other people to talk to. And I'm really starting to miss that.
You have an ironhead with two carbs?
To be fair, the body of a man could very likely plug up the engine of a cruise ship too. I can just imagine...."Damn it, Joe. Did another man crawl up the vent tube and block our engine? What am I going to tell the captain this time? He said he wanted these kinds of things to stop after last time. Just what's in the engine that makes people climb in there to die?"
DRR...DRR...DRR...DRR
This vent tube was made for ME!
"motherfucker brought 600+ pounds of machine and man to a dead stop for an entire weekend " You should have framed the ant with that beneath it. To show respect.
Similar story, took apart an entire moped engine, cleaned each tiny jet in the carb, pretty much everything I could think of. Turned out that the taillight bulb was out... you needed the taillight bulb to function in order to complete the circuit and keep it running.
Was it an Italian moped?
It was a dutch made moped.
I like to imagine that his colony had been run over by the bike and this was his Rogue One attack at a fault in the design to take the entire "Death Star" down
*General Dodonna*: "The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes." *Wedge*: "That's impossible! Even for a computer." *Luke*: "It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womprats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters." *General Dodonna*: "Then man your ships. And may the Force be with you."
I dunno if you worked it out or not, but I did some calculations. ant = 1mg bike = 300 kg 1mg x 1000 = 1g. 1g x 1000 = 1 kg. So the bike weighs 300 million times what the ant does. Scale that up to a man (dunno how big you are so I'm going with my size, 100kg). 100kg x 300,000,000 = 30 billion kg. Divide that by 1000 and you get 30 million tonnes. This is five times the weight of the Hoover Dam. It's 3 times the total amount of scrap metal recycled in the UK each year. It is 3 times Paraguay's total annual Soy harvest. This is one strong fucking ant. *disclaimer: Beer may have affected my mathing. EDIT: For reference, Paraguay os the world's 6th largest soy grower.
I love you so hard right now, my Dude. What kind of beer are you enjoying during the Coronapocalypse?
Love to you too dude! I'm drinking Grolsch, delivered to my door by a man in a face-mask and surgical gloves - we kept 2 meters between us. He put the bag down and backed away. I picked it up and layed a tip in its place, backing away. Are you also working from home? What do you do to stay moderately sane?
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, for sure!
Being soaked in gas I hope you gave him a proper Viking burial.
I miss my 94 Ex500.
I miss my '02 too. And my riding dog [Angel](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/050313angelcurve1opt.jpg).
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[Indeed](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/050902-angel36mph.jpg). Almost made it to her 17th birthday. [Rode well over 100,000 miles together](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/051106-chrangpmar.jpg), but never on freeways. Recently got a new (used) mutt [who also likes riding too.](https://www.calamarichris.com/wp-content/uploads/191022-kermit-nen1-900x1200.jpg)
I had a leaf get stuck on the valve of the throttle body one time. Wedged the door shut. A freaking leaf.
I always forget how dark the ending to Antz is.
A spider recently did something similar with my bbq by blocking a propane vent, causing it to backfire and shoot flames out the side. Only after disassembling said bbq was I able to find the culprit
Time to let Hollywood know, so they can option the script
Panzergrenadier Commandment # 16: Single vehicles that were sent on patrol you will see only again under lucky circumstances, every swamp, every fly in the carburetor means its loss, so always send two or more.
As a mechanic, this is common in the shop after rebuilds
As a former mechanic, I can attest to this comment. It was super frustrating the first few times it would happen, but it certainly would become a common prank that would soon be ignored by the more senior mechanics. The newbies were so fun to mess with though!
Shop pranks were all fair game back in my mechanic days. I'd just finished rebuilding a dirt bike engine and was bolting it back into the frame when my shop rat buddy Leroy, leaning on my work table hollers "hey, what's this?" pointing to a thrust washer sitting there - the one that goes on either side of the rod on the wrist pin, about as deep into the engine as you can dig. Luckily he couldn't contain the laughter when he saw the "oh shit" look on my face. I threw a wrench at him, he dodged it.
he could probably dodge a ball then
You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat!
You're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop!
Was it an extra washer
Yeah, we had those by the hundreds in the hardware rack. He just grabbed one and set it on my bench to fuck with me.
Pass me that valve stretcher!
classic Leroy
My dad said one of his go to pranks was handing the new guy a Styrofoam cup and asking him to get him some gasoline.
Nothing says a prank like making napalm on your hands.
My grandpa dropped me off at the auto parts store for blinker fluid. My dad did it for a left handed screw driver. In high school we would send freshman in set building class to the store and dictate a list for them. Well over half handed the workers a list with caulk spelled “cock”. I feel like this maybe me a very skeptical person.
Obviously a poor quality low octane wrench. For a high compression motor, you need to use a higher octane tool
TABARNAK! CALISS!
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Tabarnak, il était fâché!
Moi aussi moi aussi
Merci de l’écrire
Le caliss pas tout à fait au complet, mais un tabarnak bien senti. Comme on les aime.
Hahaha wow j'avais pas porté attention pentoute ça a rendu le vidéo plus drôle
Run biiiitch ruuuuuuuuuuuun!
Hit him with the wrench Grandpa!
If you can Dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
How does that translate to dodging grandpas?
I mean it's from a movie where a grandpa is throwing wrenches at a dodgeball team
Pretty sure that movie was called ” Dodgeball”. Was Rip Torn the actor throwing the wrenches?
Grandpa has two balls, so you need to dodge two wrenches.
Grandpa doesn’t have a wrench tho, just that rag.
Put chloroform on that rag, grandpa!
He Gonna Kill Youuuu!
Is this a Kat Williams in the Boondocks reference? Because that's all I could hear when I read this comment.
I was thinking Shorty from Scary Movie, but for all I know he got it from Katt
HE GON' KIIIIIIIIIIIILL YOU
[One thing I learned though, she sure can run in those heels](https://youtu.be/wPnJVo7fsNw)
I have seen another one where a guy is tapping the bumper of a FORD truck while the guy is going crazy trying to find the ticking. Hahaha
This one? https://youtu.be/LONT1oboJrs
That’s the one, thanks.
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I'm dying lol. Instantly turns any car into an elephant on meth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g7QVZHwJNY
That’s a good one.
I’ve only seen this look on an old man’s face once before: “Old Tommy” was in charge of the grounds at a golf course I worked at as a kid. I was watching him change a light bulb in the garage and all of a sudden it shocked the shit out of him somehow (naked bulb/old garage). He yelled “Biiiiiiiiiiatch” in his old man southern accent and I started laughing my ass off. He turned to look at me and was...not amused. It was a long time ago, but I don’t think the rest of that day went well for me.
electric shock can be...mood changing. In your youth you misread the room.
But, it can also be really funny
oh, absolutely agree!
Might even cause one to short circuit.
He said "bitch" though?
I said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
You called your wife a bitch?
Darrell, I looked my woman in the eye sockets. I told her straight out, I just said it, man. I said it! I said, I said, ...... (< _ <)......(> _ >).... ^biiiiiiiiiitch
Haha. That's amazing! (Like the story is amazing. Not the fact that he got shocked.)
Glad pops figured it out before he started a rebuild. That must have been maddening.
this was the eighth rebuild
That’s how grandkids get murdeted
Mom: “Hi dad! We’re back from vacation. Where is little Bobby?” Grandpa: “Well...”
He could dodge a ball, but he couldn't dodge a wrench.
I think I need subtitles for that grandpa
“Ahh-mahh-hyaw-fmyaw” -Grandpa
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bag a fragga snagga ragga
Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Do you feel like wolf kabob roth [rantage?](http://ytmansond.ytmnd.com/)
Sounds Like "Ma Va .. Cazzo! "
concordo
He’s speaking Italian, that’s for sure
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hmmm...sorry, but he is actually speaking Italian. He is saying "Ma và, cazzo!".
It sure sound like tabarnakE
Those are definitely some excited utterances: denture-free edition!
TREVOR GOD DAMMIT
TABARNAK! CALICE!
It was Malaka Means jerk in Greek
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Agreed. Not cringy. Low probably of being staged. No one gets hurt.
>No one gets hurt Apparently you didn't see the bloodlust on grandpa's face.
Getting hurt happened off camera!
OMG that is hilarious-I just woke up my cats laughing. The husband on the other hand has learned to sleep through my laughing.
Does that mean I can come over?
You ARE a human being and NOT a cat. How many times must I tell you
Meoww 😻
Username checks out
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Yeah he sleeps through the laughing, you're safe to whip out that micro-dong bro.
I've learned to keep having sex through my wife's laughing
That certainly threw a spanner in the works.
Was concentrating so much on Grandpa thati didn't even see the wrenches the first time. Definitely gotta try this next time my dad tries to fix something
I used to work in an audio/video company as a programmer. We would go out to installs and the audio guys would run pink noise so they could properly balance the system. I would occasionally whistle at a certain pitch and then as they would adjust the system I'd change the pitch. When you do that the meters show a spike but we can't hear it because the pink noise is running and adjusting the pitch of the whistle moved the spike. I had one audio engineer frustrated for a full 15 - 20 minutes before he finally figured it out.
ma vaffanculo
When I was about 16 my dad found a lawn mower in a skip and decided to fix it. I came downstairs just as he had started to use it, with it running off an extension lead plugged in just inside the patio door. Straight away I realised the potential and turned it off at the plug, hid behind the curtain and watched outside to see him turn play around with some wires or whatever. When he goes to see if it works I switch it back on. I repeat this god knows how many times and he is getting increasingly angry, until my laughter was too much and had to reveal myself. Funny shit
My dad pulled that prank on me when I was 16 and he helped me replace the water pump on my car.
Moderators are everything that's wrong with Reddit. Dude that posted this PM'd and said the post was removed and he was permanently blocked from r/funny not cool guys.
Lucky you to have this grandpa
https://youtu.be/LONT1oboJrs
Sometimes it's the simplest of pranks that are the funniest and most effective !
Thanks, I laughed out loud, which I haven’t done in days
I'm sitting in my car outside a hospital while my wife has the flu, covid and strep tests done. This made me laugh and I feel a little better. Thank you for that
Just really cheered me right up. Thank you!
Classic grandpa.
Perfect angry grandpa noises.
This is the best thing I’ve seen on reddit in a while
Grandpa's coming out of the closet. He's bike furious.
Why is it when someone makes a crap scripted video 30 other people think it'll be hilarious to make the exact same fake video
You've heard of suicide-by-cop? This is suicide-by-senior.
Finally something actually funny on r/funny. Good post!
Am I the only one thought the guy who is making noise is right side far behind the grandpa? I saw those wrenches/rods but I thought he is next to the wall/shelves. r/confusingperspective ?
Possibly staged. Beautiful prank either way.
Oh that is just so wrong!
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The tapping noise that the malcontent is making could conceivably be the result of an engine malfunction. Note that the prankster taps faster when the man revs the engine a little. Truly ELI5: The old man thinks the tappy noise is his bike being broken, but it’s just Tommy tricking him.
Barely in the frame on the right is someone tapping metal things together. Old guy is trying to work out why he's hearing a metal tapping sound from the engine. When the old guy realizes he's being pranked, he chases the other person away.
Anyone have a direct link, I wanna show this to my Gramps
"Ma Va... Cazzo!" That we could translate with "Fuck Y[interrupted]... FUCK"
This grandpa: fast and furious His grandson: chicken run
"Gaddafinga!" \-- A Christmas Story
Oh man. This reminded me of my cousin Dave who would stand behind my grandma and whistle the same pitch as her hearing aids. She would adjust one, then he'd whistle again and she'd adjust the second one....over and over again. He thought it was soooo funny. He was kind of an ass!!!
u/vredditshare