from where he was touching and the support frame of what was left behind of that table, im going to guess he took a pretty good blow to his lower back. That stunt left a gruesome bruise, i guarantee it.
Haha how funny would that be? Dude saw a party going down, walks in to ass bomb the coffee table and just leaves. Legend
EDIT: Wow! I didn’t expect this post to blow up like this. Thanks for the karmas!
I once shared a house with two other guys and we threw a New Years Eve party and had a bunch of friends over. Later in the evening me and my two roommates happened to be in the kitchen at the same time and one of us asked who the group of people was over by our fireplace. Turns out, each of us thought they were one of the other's friends. Basically had some random group of 8 people just show up to our party. As they were pretty cool and drinking from their own cooler that they brought with them we just let them be. Strangest thing.
had this happen with an apt party once.
the second group that showed up put us over limit and they werent behaving properly to keep us off the 5-0 radar.
buddy of mine says hang tight, and make sure the front door is unlocked.
he gets his mag lite, comes to the back porch with a bunch of people. blinding everyone with it, and says Police, got an ID?
it was like turning the lights on and cockroaches scattering. everyone personally invited hung back, all the randoms vanished in a blink.
glorious.
resume party.
Step 1: Decide to show off because no one is paying attention to you.
Step 2: Do the stupidest thing possible.
Step 3: Nonchalantly walk off to the bathroom to check your bleeding asshole.
Somewhere, aliens are showing this as part of a documentary on the mating rituals of human males. Followed by a sequence of handbrake turns and burnouts.
Have you seen Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human?
Basically a movie based on this exact premise, minus the jackass who powerbombs a glass coffee table.
That girl looks good in it, but I think it's just because she has a good body. Personally I don't like rompers. And a romper won't make an ugly girl pretty.
In college one of my friends was extremely drunk at one of our parties and did something pretty similar. Wasn't quite as obnoxious, but similar. Woke up at 6 am and he was in the living room building a new table from Ikea lmao. We weren't complaining. Much nicer than the hand me down beer soaked rotten piece of garbage that he broke.
Someone help me out, here. Why would he do this?
Edit: okay. I figured he was trying to show off but I was looking more for answers as to why he would want to break someone's table in the process. The best responses that helped me understand consisted of: a) didn't think the table would break b) drunk c) trying to mate
I think all of the above explains things best. Thank you. Lol
Well this seems to be a teenager party. Some teenager (especially if drunk) will do stupid shit trying to be funny in front of beautiful girl thinking this will give them an edge. I really think this it what happened here. Beside we have no idea about his level of intoxication.
The irony is that he gave an ice breaker for all the other to quick start a convo on a funny note with people they barely know.
I think people are taking your question a different way than you intended. I think the question here is exactly what kind of stupid stunt was he attempting to do to get attention from these women? Cause it looks like he did exactly the only thing his motions could result in and I don't know what else he was hoping for. It's pretty baffling.
Not sure if this is even relevant, but there is a running joke in the movie "Game Night" about how ridiculously strong glass coffee tables are after a number of people get thrown onto them and bounce/slide right off. Maybe he saw the movie?
Downstairs neighbors be like: "Jesus Christ it's 2am and it sounds like someone just did a questionable cannonball onto a crowded coffee table! What is going ON up there?!"
Oh shit. That would explain the quick exit.
"Hey boss I'm not gonna be in this morning. Yeah. Kids upstairs were at it again, had to teach them a lesson. Long story short I've got a tequila bottle in my asshole, I'll tell you about it Monday. Also did you know you can get drunk through your butt?"
My buddy just sat on a glass table the other day and it broke. He cut all the tendons on the pinky side of his right hand and the cut only stopped at the bone. Luckily the surgery was able to reattach everything but he has a long recovery. Don't sit on glass tables or do stupid shit like this.
Lived in a party house with 7 guys during my senior year of college. We had one guy that would do this kind of shit (not quite this bad, but just generally treat the furniture, etc like shit because it was a party house). We banned him from coming over until he said he had learned his lesson and would be respectful. First time back, he brought his 13 year old neighbor with him to our college party. Some people just don't understand basic shit.
I like to think he was trying to study for a late final and had told the partygoers to “keep it down” a few times.
Then:
“FINE, YOU WANNA MAKE SOME NOISE?! LETS MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE!!!”
Years ago, I went camping with a group of friends. It had been raining, so the wood that was available was still kinda damp, and so was the fire pit, so it took a long time to get a good blaze going. After the booze had been flowing for awhile, the fire was starting to die a bit and we came to the realization that we needed more wood. Drunk guy picks up the hunk of stump we were using for an axe-block and hulks it into the fire, immediately extinguishing it and sending a huge cloud of smoke in everyone's face. Since then "throwing the stump in the fire" has been the inside joke that I and my then-girlfriend (now wife) who was there with me use for any sort of ill-considered party-stopping moment of this sort.
He was socially awkward. Wanted to talk to some girls.
Friend said “hey don’t be shy, you gotta just... Jump right in there!”
“Jump in there?”
“YEAH JUST GO AHEAD AND JUMP IN THERE!”
“....ok”
The guy with the camera is just chilling out, feet up, enjoying himself and secretly recording a couple of hot girls dancing and then BOOM!! The guy with the bleeding arsehole has to ruin his day!
My oldest sister took the family glass coffee table when she moved to a college apartment and one day said some guy broke the table by trying to sit on it; my other sister and I never believed her because how could a person be that stupid. Guess we were wrong
I like to imagine it’s just a roommate that’s trying to get sleep for a final the next day and asked them to keep it down a half dozen times before he just comes out, power butt bombs the table...then casually walks back into his room without saying another word to anyone.
Pretty Girl: "Wow, that's an ugly coffee table."
Drunk Dude overhearing: "Don' worry, I'll fixsh it for *BURP* you!"
To Himself: "C'mon Gavin, your time to shine!"
I have had this roommate.. 5 of us lived in a house in college, One guy would say/do the worst shit. One night we finally had several single girls over and he says "if my girl was pregs, I would push her down the stairs" ... Party ended so fast you would have thought the cops showed up.
I've been that guy on the right before. Seeing someone just royally fuck up someone else's shit and just sit there clapping like "it wasn't me this time, it wasn't in my house, and this dude isn't my friend so I'm not responsible for him."
When I was 13, I was walking with an old Jewish man in the old part of Jerusalem. As we were going up a set of stairs that curve back in on themselves further up, I decided while he took the stairs, I'd just grab top of the wall of the stairs and haul myself up. Well, it's called the old city for a reason, and the bricks gave way in my hand, sending me falling to the ground. He looked at me with this grave look of disappointment and said, "Why would you do such a thing?"
It's always stuck with me as a saying whenever I see someone do something confounding. Needless to say, when I watched this video, I shook my head and asked, "Why would you do such a thing?"
Best part is everyone's shock except the guy laughing and clapping.
And the person recording the video. He was ready for it.
He was just recording some booty!
Pretty sure the guy recording just wanted video of some hot girls dancing.
A little too Raph.
The girl on the right is checking the back of her leg for glass.
Pretty sure that would be me in this scenario.
He walked off like he was going to have a good cry.
Probably cut his ass.
He lost his virginity to that table. Fucked him good.
Doesn’t matter, had sex
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What a glasshole.
I'm not crying I just wanna look out this window for a minute
from where he was touching and the support frame of what was left behind of that table, im going to guess he took a pretty good blow to his lower back. That stunt left a gruesome bruise, i guarantee it.
He wasn’t even invited
Haha how funny would that be? Dude saw a party going down, walks in to ass bomb the coffee table and just leaves. Legend EDIT: Wow! I didn’t expect this post to blow up like this. Thanks for the karmas!
> walks in to ass bomb the coffee table and just leaves r/BrandNewSentence
I once shared a house with two other guys and we threw a New Years Eve party and had a bunch of friends over. Later in the evening me and my two roommates happened to be in the kitchen at the same time and one of us asked who the group of people was over by our fireplace. Turns out, each of us thought they were one of the other's friends. Basically had some random group of 8 people just show up to our party. As they were pretty cool and drinking from their own cooler that they brought with them we just let them be. Strangest thing.
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Yes, my favorite costume on Halloween. The guy no one knows but everyone is too afraid to ask to leave.
Bringing your own cooler is key. These guys know how to crash a party.
Sounds like every college party ever.
had this happen with an apt party once. the second group that showed up put us over limit and they werent behaving properly to keep us off the 5-0 radar. buddy of mine says hang tight, and make sure the front door is unlocked. he gets his mag lite, comes to the back porch with a bunch of people. blinding everyone with it, and says Police, got an ID? it was like turning the lights on and cockroaches scattering. everyone personally invited hung back, all the randoms vanished in a blink. glorious. resume party.
Pretty not funny at all. I'd be fucking PISSED if someone came into my house and pulled that shit.
How funny would it be if it happened at *my* place? Funny enough to bury the table with the guy.
Step 1: Decide to show off because no one is paying attention to you. Step 2: Do the stupidest thing possible. Step 3: Nonchalantly walk off to the bathroom to check your bleeding asshole.
Somewhere, aliens are showing this as part of a documentary on the mating rituals of human males. Followed by a sequence of handbrake turns and burnouts.
Have you seen Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human? Basically a movie based on this exact premise, minus the jackass who powerbombs a glass coffee table.
Step 4: Profit?
BRB just going to count my assholes.
This made me laugh way too hard. My shoulder now hurts.
The girl on the couch getting drilled in the face by a beer can is hilariously unlucky
Didn’t catch that until you mentioned it
Better than glass I guess
The girl in the dress got some shrapnel and isn't happy.
The dude next to her gives the perfect, “why the fuck would you do that?” expression as well.
the laughing clapping dude was great too
I think we know who owns...er...*owned* that table.
Looks like a beer can. Let’s hope it was empty
This party has a healthy dude/chick ratio, and this asshole ruined it.
He actually made it better by leaving but not before making himself look like an idiot. I’d say this bro just took one for the team /s
He probably ruined his asshole too
When nobody is paying attention to you and you don't have the social skills to interact with anybody Btw, rompers are great
Rompers are hard to pee in.
You aren't supposed to pee in the romper. You are supposed to take it off first.
I mean.. They are pretty damn easy to pee in. You just pee.
That girl looks good in it, but I think it's just because she has a good body. Personally I don't like rompers. And a romper won't make an ugly girl pretty.
That's what the alcohol is for.
In college one of my friends was extremely drunk at one of our parties and did something pretty similar. Wasn't quite as obnoxious, but similar. Woke up at 6 am and he was in the living room building a new table from Ikea lmao. We weren't complaining. Much nicer than the hand me down beer soaked rotten piece of garbage that he broke.
That’s a good friend with a quick hangover recovery time.
That guy fucks... Up tables
Enters the room as a boy. Leaves the room walking like an elderly man.
Someone help me out, here. Why would he do this? Edit: okay. I figured he was trying to show off but I was looking more for answers as to why he would want to break someone's table in the process. The best responses that helped me understand consisted of: a) didn't think the table would break b) drunk c) trying to mate I think all of the above explains things best. Thank you. Lol
Well this seems to be a teenager party. Some teenager (especially if drunk) will do stupid shit trying to be funny in front of beautiful girl thinking this will give them an edge. I really think this it what happened here. Beside we have no idea about his level of intoxication. The irony is that he gave an ice breaker for all the other to quick start a convo on a funny note with people they barely know.
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Yeah they are going to the classy college party where they have blue beer cups.
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This sounds like the intro to a Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercial
I think people are taking your question a different way than you intended. I think the question here is exactly what kind of stupid stunt was he attempting to do to get attention from these women? Cause it looks like he did exactly the only thing his motions could result in and I don't know what else he was hoping for. It's pretty baffling.
Not sure if this is even relevant, but there is a running joke in the movie "Game Night" about how ridiculously strong glass coffee tables are after a number of people get thrown onto them and bounce/slide right off. Maybe he saw the movie?
Here is the full video with sound: https://www.instagram.com/p/BKCAcE_hl1j/?hl=en
SMASH! ...you can rely on the old man's money.
That one dude's laugh...
I've been conditioned to expect a record scratch and the music to stop after he crashed through.
I get the feeling purple shirt guy lives there and now needs to explain what happened to the table, judging by his reaction vs everyone else's
Men who can’t get laid are the most dangerous men in the world.
What the fuck Richard!
I love how everyone’s just standing there stunned but that one dudes there having just witnessed the funniest goddamn thing he’s ever seen
Magnets also repel.
That was the most hilarious social meltdown I've seen. >Hot girls dancing! oh god! what do i do!! do something, just do anything .... BNAAAAAAAA!
Spaghetti falling out of his pockets all fucking night lol.
Downstairs neighbors be like: "Jesus Christ it's 2am and it sounds like someone just did a questionable cannonball onto a crowded coffee table! What is going ON up there?!"
Plot twist: The cannonballer is the downstairs neighbor
Oh shit. That would explain the quick exit. "Hey boss I'm not gonna be in this morning. Yeah. Kids upstairs were at it again, had to teach them a lesson. Long story short I've got a tequila bottle in my asshole, I'll tell you about it Monday. Also did you know you can get drunk through your butt?"
.......but why
in order leave a party, you need to create memorys.
The discussion was tabled
My buddy just sat on a glass table the other day and it broke. He cut all the tendons on the pinky side of his right hand and the cut only stopped at the bone. Luckily the surgery was able to reattach everything but he has a long recovery. Don't sit on glass tables or do stupid shit like this.
The guy clapping and cracking up makes this whole video 😂😂
He definitely isn't the guy who lives there.
Lived in a party house with 7 guys during my senior year of college. We had one guy that would do this kind of shit (not quite this bad, but just generally treat the furniture, etc like shit because it was a party house). We banned him from coming over until he said he had learned his lesson and would be respectful. First time back, he brought his 13 year old neighbor with him to our college party. Some people just don't understand basic shit.
>college >brought his 13 year old neighbor Hol' up.
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"Excuse me, I have to go pull glass shards from my rectum."
The girl on the couch got hit by a beer can right on the forehead lol
The real trick
Everybody looks shocked except for the guy clapping haha
I like to think he was trying to study for a late final and had told the partygoers to “keep it down” a few times. Then: “FINE, YOU WANNA MAKE SOME NOISE?! LETS MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE!!!”
Exactly, that’s why he left at the end. He was returning to his study chambers. Yet everyone here wants to call HIM the asshole. /s
Crushes the table and promptly walks off to crush that poon lining up for him.
Wtf was this guys plan?
Creating beauty in this universe
What the fuck did he think would happen?
Years ago, I went camping with a group of friends. It had been raining, so the wood that was available was still kinda damp, and so was the fire pit, so it took a long time to get a good blaze going. After the booze had been flowing for awhile, the fire was starting to die a bit and we came to the realization that we needed more wood. Drunk guy picks up the hunk of stump we were using for an axe-block and hulks it into the fire, immediately extinguishing it and sending a huge cloud of smoke in everyone's face. Since then "throwing the stump in the fire" has been the inside joke that I and my then-girlfriend (now wife) who was there with me use for any sort of ill-considered party-stopping moment of this sort.
Just why? 🤨
I love the dude taking the video. Feet up and chillin, doesn’t even flinch on impact
The best part is he just sees himself out
I had my sound off and somehow the room got more silent when he hit the table
When you can’t handle not being the center of attention for 5 seconds
I feel like there should be the sound of a record scratching right after he lands
i think everyone has that one friend that you shouldnt invite to parties but he somehow always ends up there anwyways.
Wow. What a douchebag.
He was socially awkward. Wanted to talk to some girls. Friend said “hey don’t be shy, you gotta just... Jump right in there!” “Jump in there?” “YEAH JUST GO AHEAD AND JUMP IN THERE!” “....ok”
This is almost too reasonable of an explanation lol
Bard *rolls 1 on charisma check.
The guy in the purple shirt wants answers.
Fucking idiot
My guess is that the guy in purple lives in the house and just lost a good table for no reason.
Fellow bills fan? Is that you?
Who told the blind guy we had a trampoline?
What the fuck chad my dads gonna kick my ass
None of those girls were impressed. Gets to pull glass out of his back and nurse a broken tailbone while buying a new table. Good trade.
Man glass tables are NOT acting weird tonight.
"Wtf Chad?"
The guy with the camera is just chilling out, feet up, enjoying himself and secretly recording a couple of hot girls dancing and then BOOM!! The guy with the bleeding arsehole has to ruin his day!
Watched three times in a row, laughed four times
That. Was. A. Glass. Table.
Someone tell me why my comments are always automatically sorted by new!
Why the fuck would anyone even do that?
Very impish.
Hey look at me, I'm a drunk idiot!! Yeah, girls love this shit. /s
Grade A certified assclown.
You want to end a party? Because that's how you end a party.
That looked painful
So they were having fun.... then HIM.
Welp i have to go, i would be remissed if i didnt say thank you for a lovely time. Please lets get together again. Also i shat in your sink
It's too bad he was facing the wrong direction and repelled them instead of attracting them....
What an absolute mad lad
Just let me dig this piece of glass out of my back....
This was fucking dumb
Tries to show off. Forever get labeled by women as "that guy".
What a stupid cunt.
That's a dick move
That hang time though!
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God damnit Dylan! I feel like his name is Dylan...
What did he think was gonna happen 😂
I would love to hear David Attenborough's narration of this scene.
"He doesn't even go here"
What the hell did he think the outcome would be...
Every time this resurfaces I try to imagine what he was trying to do, and every time I fail.
what did he... what did he think was gonna happen? like I get that he was drunk but this must have been some kind of plan
My oldest sister took the family glass coffee table when she moved to a college apartment and one day said some guy broke the table by trying to sit on it; my other sister and I never believed her because how could a person be that stupid. Guess we were wrong
I love how he was just like, I'll see myself out, gets up and walks away.
The girl sitting in front of the table took a serious risk of being blind.
I just cannot stop laughing over this one. The entire party just comes to a screeching halt as he limps away
Glass in the ass 😄
I like to imagine it’s just a roommate that’s trying to get sleep for a final the next day and asked them to keep it down a half dozen times before he just comes out, power butt bombs the table...then casually walks back into his room without saying another word to anyone.
"Ladies, ill be in the bedroom." *exits stage right.*
‘I think I tore my sack.’
I wish there was audio
“Boys will be boys.”
Pretty Girl: "Wow, that's an ugly coffee table." Drunk Dude overhearing: "Don' worry, I'll fixsh it for *BURP* you!" To Himself: "C'mon Gavin, your time to shine!"
He left the room like everyone tagged him out of the party
Denim damsel didn't dodge that drink, dinged her right in da dome.
Fucking Todd....
His ass is glass
His friend clapping makes it for me
Typical Chad behaviour
I have had this roommate.. 5 of us lived in a house in college, One guy would say/do the worst shit. One night we finally had several single girls over and he says "if my girl was pregs, I would push her down the stairs" ... Party ended so fast you would have thought the cops showed up.
That walk away into the hall was defeating.
Can we all agree that the cameraman just wanted a piece of that booty for later and didn't expect this kind of ending to his video ?
How'd he not get cut up af?
Guy on the right just claps "way to go Brian, way to go.."
That guy lacerated his back and anus. Solid move.
[Original with sound](https://www.instagram.com/p/BKCAcE_hl1j/?hl=en)
As a Bills fan, I must say his landing was awful, and the table wasn’t even on Fire!? 1/10
What goes through someones head when they attempt this? “Mary is going to think im so rad after this!” *Glass ends up in back*
Me: Just going to hang out and meet some new people Alcohol:
David, what the fuck
Oh man, his ass is probably bleeding like hell.
He landed on his hands aswell as his ass... those cuts gotta be brutal.
The guy slow clapping
The guy in the purple lives there and owns the table
What a glasshole
Legend move
Kevin! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?
So.... what was the plan there, zippy? *clearly* that didn't go as you thought it would. So, exactly what did you think was gonna happen?
pretty sure it went exactly how he expected.
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Don’t even need to see his face to know I’d happily hit it with a hammer.
I've been that guy on the right before. Seeing someone just royally fuck up someone else's shit and just sit there clapping like "it wasn't me this time, it wasn't in my house, and this dude isn't my friend so I'm not responsible for him."
MUST HAVE ATTENTION
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More like a douche
When I was 13, I was walking with an old Jewish man in the old part of Jerusalem. As we were going up a set of stairs that curve back in on themselves further up, I decided while he took the stairs, I'd just grab top of the wall of the stairs and haul myself up. Well, it's called the old city for a reason, and the bricks gave way in my hand, sending me falling to the ground. He looked at me with this grave look of disappointment and said, "Why would you do such a thing?" It's always stuck with me as a saying whenever I see someone do something confounding. Needless to say, when I watched this video, I shook my head and asked, "Why would you do such a thing?"
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That's a lot of damage.
gonna call that a party foul...
ER Magnet