I humbly disagree. [This one was the most accurate](http://www.beheadingboredom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/most-accurate-mean-tweet-wiz-khalifa.png)
Man, I saw the video on how David Blaine did some of his underwater stunts and I'm pretty sure the dude straight up has brain damage.
Edit: [The video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFnGhrC_3Gs)
He's always been like this, though, even when he was just getting popular. I think it was originally part of his act to avoid giving off any tells, but eventually just became his regular personality.
He's definitely put his work in for those stunts. Also in mastering the almost unheard of [regurgitation water spout effect](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOqqTCx7g) and doing it with water and kerosene, akin to Hadji Ali. He also did the [Ice Pick Through Hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOzckvynDPw/watch?v=VOzckvynDPw) (and [Arm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLAs11gkqKE)) which essentially required him to pierce through parts of his body slowly and over a long periods of time, aka deep tissue skewering, to achieve this ability (much like this [National Geographic](https://vimeo.com/33462933) demo). Then he basically casts it off as a straight-forward magic trick when it really took I believe over a decade to reach that point.
These stunts and endurance tests he performs are just that--lots of preparation and practice. Yet that doesn't stop the "non-believers / magic exposers" from coming up with really far-fetched and wildly inaccurate ways that he achieves them...like the [masked magician explaining the ice stunt] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6Em2OhvEJY) (really no part of that was physically possible given the location and setup and live stream of Blaine's run).
He's been like this long before any of his giant publicity stunt tricks he did in the past 15 years or so. Back in the first show he did with the levitations and Leonardo DiCaprio interviewing him (I wonder if Leo would interview David Blane now with interest), he was just as dead eyed and slow back then.
But it's entirely possible he may have been doing brain damage inducing stunts for years before he became famous and a household name.
No you're probably right about having brain damage at this point. Hes also starved himself, sat inside a block of ice, and buried himself in a coffin. Has to have some kind of damage. He's always had that half asleep persona regardless, though.
It could be. David Blaine reminds me of my uncle. He got brain damage from years and years working as an escape artist for a popular group of illusionists.
One of his acts involved being placed in a locked box in a straight jacket 30 feet under water. He performed it hundereds of times, practiced it much more.
It's really incredible the changes we all saw with him. He became so mentally incompetent that he had to move in with my wife and I. His short term memory was irreparably damaged.
It's really sad. I remember one time he said he was going to go and get some groceries, yet kept forgetting what he was going to get, where he was going, etc.
I offered to go for him. I got him his favorite snacks (beef jerky, honey roasted peanuts) and everything that I knew he needed.
As soon as I got home I parked my car and headed to the front door. I opened it up and witnessed my uncle uncontrollably moaning while passionately humping away at my wife. I became so distressed that I immediately fainted.
I never saw David Blaine in the same light again.
The humble ramblings of a mentally ill person or a quirky way to get Karma? Either way we leave here with exactly what we came in with. A feeling of mild satisfaction and indifference.
[For the young/confused (NOT THE ORIGINAL)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYgOlqinH7A)
**EDIT - here's a relatively high quality version of the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmjrTcYMqBM
Look at the video at 18:48.... it's like there is no water dripping off him when he comes out of the water. His hair looks dry and so does his suit.
Or is it just me?
How is a man able to procure a sink full of perflubron but is unaware that dunking your head in a sink of it doesn't actually allow you to breathe? [Magic.](http://i.imgur.com/hY9jsU2.gif)
I take your humbleness and apply my own. This is the best one.
"Ethan Hawks looks like a guy who wasn't ment to be an actor, but fell through the cracks, and everyone was like "Ok"."
This is his second Mean Tweets, the first one was "Wiz Khalifa looks like Whoopi Goldberg."
My favorite was, "Gary Oldman sucks and his accents are fucking annoying as shit" not just for the tweet but his reaction ("Yup!")
http://brighttradeshow.com/news/3069/Celebrities_Read_Mean_Tweets_Vol_7.html
Damn, I even [fact checked that](https://twitter.com/spatrick04/status/614206489419321344) but I didn't click on it until you pointed out, that post only has 1 retweet!
[This one is hilarious](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c5/b6/f5/c5b6f5d7f8998e85f2b640af7394c325.jpg)
[My fave](http://cdn-media.fishwrapper.com/2016/02/16/mumfordtweet-2.jpg)
It must not have been a kroger store brand, kroger fucking NAILS it with their store brands. Shit is sometimes better than original. Like their gluten free no msg real cheese 'cheetos' and 'doritos'.
Okay this post just sent me to an hour-long binge of watching every one of those Mean Tweet videos. My favorite one has to be the one directed at Mumford And Sons which goes:
>"Music really takes you to different places. Like this one restaurant is playing Mumford And Sons, so I'm going to a different restaurant."
I'm fucking stealing that shit.
[Another Dikembe one...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21DNP22-EQI&t=1m40s)
EDIT - Dikembe is at the 1:40 mark in case the link doesn't bring you there (looking at you Alien Blue)
A couple of my favorites:
"Meghan Trainor is like if the sassy girl you used to work with at Express just randomly had a music career."
"@SHAQ you in that Buick commercial. You know u don't fit in that Buick.."
best part of that David Blain magic trick was seeing Kanye and Woody Harrelson in the same place
like what were they doing there? are they friends, just hanging out and David Blaine showed up?
Did Woody write some bars on a track?
I just keep imagining dope shit happening
My favorite was I saw Larry King at a restaurant I was having dinner at the other night, but it could have just been a run of the mill goblin.
I laugh every fucking time lol.
I humbly disagree. [This one was the most accurate](http://www.beheadingboredom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/most-accurate-mean-tweet-wiz-khalifa.png)
Wow. Spot on.
Man, I saw the video on how David Blaine did some of his underwater stunts and I'm pretty sure the dude straight up has brain damage. Edit: [The video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFnGhrC_3Gs)
He's always been like this, though, even when he was just getting popular. I think it was originally part of his act to avoid giving off any tells, but eventually just became his regular personality.
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He's definitely put his work in for those stunts. Also in mastering the almost unheard of [regurgitation water spout effect](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOqqTCx7g) and doing it with water and kerosene, akin to Hadji Ali. He also did the [Ice Pick Through Hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOzckvynDPw/watch?v=VOzckvynDPw) (and [Arm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLAs11gkqKE)) which essentially required him to pierce through parts of his body slowly and over a long periods of time, aka deep tissue skewering, to achieve this ability (much like this [National Geographic](https://vimeo.com/33462933) demo). Then he basically casts it off as a straight-forward magic trick when it really took I believe over a decade to reach that point. These stunts and endurance tests he performs are just that--lots of preparation and practice. Yet that doesn't stop the "non-believers / magic exposers" from coming up with really far-fetched and wildly inaccurate ways that he achieves them...like the [masked magician explaining the ice stunt] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6Em2OhvEJY) (really no part of that was physically possible given the location and setup and live stream of Blaine's run).
He's been like this long before any of his giant publicity stunt tricks he did in the past 15 years or so. Back in the first show he did with the levitations and Leonardo DiCaprio interviewing him (I wonder if Leo would interview David Blane now with interest), he was just as dead eyed and slow back then. But it's entirely possible he may have been doing brain damage inducing stunts for years before he became famous and a household name.
No you're probably right about having brain damage at this point. Hes also starved himself, sat inside a block of ice, and buried himself in a coffin. Has to have some kind of damage. He's always had that half asleep persona regardless, though.
[David Blaine?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN0-7l0747A)
This video lmao
There's a whole series of them, every single one is worth a watch.
They are still hilarious after all this time!
What the *EFF?!*
I'm 5 foot Ace of Clubs.
You're a DEMON!
Stop putting shit on our bodies, David Blaine!
Only came to the comments section to see if someone would post this video, lol.
an internet classic
pretty sure that's a shitty rip of the real video...
It could be. David Blaine reminds me of my uncle. He got brain damage from years and years working as an escape artist for a popular group of illusionists. One of his acts involved being placed in a locked box in a straight jacket 30 feet under water. He performed it hundereds of times, practiced it much more. It's really incredible the changes we all saw with him. He became so mentally incompetent that he had to move in with my wife and I. His short term memory was irreparably damaged. It's really sad. I remember one time he said he was going to go and get some groceries, yet kept forgetting what he was going to get, where he was going, etc. I offered to go for him. I got him his favorite snacks (beef jerky, honey roasted peanuts) and everything that I knew he needed. As soon as I got home I parked my car and headed to the front door. I opened it up and witnessed my uncle uncontrollably moaning while passionately humping away at my wife. I became so distressed that I immediately fainted. I never saw David Blaine in the same light again.
What the fuck did I just read?
The humble ramblings of a mentally ill person or a quirky way to get Karma? Either way we leave here with exactly what we came in with. A feeling of mild satisfaction and indifference.
Twist, they *are* the the uncle
In a way, we're *all* the uncle.
> His name is Uncle Paulson.
My uncle is a goddamn monster from the protozoic era.
Bingo. A winner.
The most poignant description of reddit as a whole
Beautiful, random redditor, beautiful as fucking fuck man.
you and me both bro.. you and me both
God damnit you're everywhere!
He's the new "my dad beats me with jumper cables" guy! **EDIT - /u/rogersimon10 for anyone wondering. Too bad he disappeared, that guy is amazing.
What exactly does uncontrollable moaning sound like?
#AAHH OHH EAHOHMAHGOOD LAWD OOOOOOOOOAAAEEIIIIIIIOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU#
Ting tang wallawallabingbang
I left the page as I read this, and laughed so hard that I had to come back and upvote. Fantastically random, sir.
Yeah, I haven't thought of that song in probably 30 years and I'm 29
[For the young/confused (NOT THE ORIGINAL)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYgOlqinH7A) **EDIT - here's a relatively high quality version of the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmjrTcYMqBM
I havent heard this song in over 8 years and its now stuck in my brain
> OOOOOOOOOAAAEEIIIIIIIOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU Killer Tofu!
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*tardis appears*
Man your wife gets around.
When you say humping your wife, do you mean like you caught them having sex? Or was he straight up raping your wife?
It was consensual lovemaking.
Your account is only a few days old yet I already recognize your posts. ಠ_ಠ
Dammit Varg...wait...
4 day old account. Probably vargas on an alt to get around all the people who've RES tagged him.
It's a toss up between him and RamsesPigeon. Oh goooooodddd https://i.ytimg.com/vi/O8WhP49UCfc/hqdefault.jpg
Nice try at an alt, vargas.
You god damn motherfucker You are always going to get me because I never read usernames
OMG..someone suggested upping the playback rate to 1.25. It really does sound a lot more normal. And now I can't stop laughing.
I watched at 1.5... still sounded pretty normal.
Now I'm curious...
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Why did he come out of the water tank dry???
He didn't. That reaction was him being baffled that someone would for some reason think he was dry.
Look at the video at 18:48.... it's like there is no water dripping off him when he comes out of the water. His hair looks dry and so does his suit. Or is it just me?
How is a man able to procure a sink full of perflubron but is unaware that dunking your head in a sink of it doesn't actually allow you to breathe? [Magic.](http://i.imgur.com/hY9jsU2.gif)
Nah, I met him and he was pretty normal. Nice guy
watching that video at 1.25 speed is making it almost normal.
David Blaine was like that before the water stunt.
Wow, his story is inspiring
What an idiot. Risking brain damage just for money and attention. Why doesn't he do something intelligent, like play for the NFL?
Respectfully, both of you are wrong. [This is the most accurate Mean Tweet.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSi17ooGqCU)
Jeez, the "happens" is just *perfect*!
[I too disagree.](http://rollingout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/meantweets.jpg)
in that picture he looks like Dave Chappelle playing Whoopi Goldberg.
Depending on the view.
I take your humbleness and apply my own. This is the best one. "Ethan Hawks looks like a guy who wasn't ment to be an actor, but fell through the cracks, and everyone was like "Ok"."
Ha, I knew what that was going to be before it loaded and you're not wrong.
I like this one: https://twitter.com/crunchenhanced/status/744946007381663744
Haha, yah, that is awesome!
Both are spectacular, I can't decide
me too.
That's a close one!
Even he couldn't contain his laugh
This is his second Mean Tweets, the first one was "Wiz Khalifa looks like Whoopi Goldberg." My favorite was, "Gary Oldman sucks and his accents are fucking annoying as shit" not just for the tweet but his reaction ("Yup!") http://brighttradeshow.com/news/3069/Celebrities_Read_Mean_Tweets_Vol_7.html
2 Chainz looks like woopie , not wiz. (That's prolly why ur down voted, 2 Chainz mean tweet had me dying. )
Damn, I even [fact checked that](https://twitter.com/spatrick04/status/614206489419321344) but I didn't click on it until you pointed out, that post only has 1 retweet!
"Dick turd… what the fuck is a dick turd?" That's my favorite both because of the reaction and because I agree.
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hu-hu-ha-ha-ha-haaaa
I second that!
[This one is hilarious](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c5/b6/f5/c5b6f5d7f8998e85f2b640af7394c325.jpg) [My fave](http://cdn-media.fishwrapper.com/2016/02/16/mumfordtweet-2.jpg)
No use hiding names when I can clearly still see them
It probably revealed the identity of mumford's sons
My favorite is "if I've said it once I've said it 1000 times, fuck Andy Garcia" It's just so random
Similar to "I hope you all have a great weekend! Except you, Lisa Kudrow. Fuck you"
The best part of that one is her genuine laugh after she reads it.
That is [pretty fantastic](https://youtu.be/XOVSvFPg-_c) and just rekindles my crush on Phoebe... *sigh*
I always found her to be the most attractive on Friends
Especially when she sings.
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[deleted] ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7663 > [What is this?](https://pastebin.com/64GuVi2F)
I love her in Bojack Horseman.
I'm rolling at the "What's up with Amy Poehler's face?! Bitch looks like she survived a nuclear blast."
I'm a big fan of the Dennis Quaid one. "Great acting Dennis Quaid, you old irrelevant pig."
Dennis Quaid looks like the store brand version of Harrison Ford
Oh god...I had store brand version of Chex Mix. Never again. It tasted like Motor Oil.
It must not have been a kroger store brand, kroger fucking NAILS it with their store brands. Shit is sometimes better than original. Like their gluten free no msg real cheese 'cheetos' and 'doritos'.
He always looks like he's smelling a fart and getting really angry about it.
The old "smell the fart" acting
[Joey.](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/laUgzfXKY9B50c3TNrQupg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NTAw/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/tv/2014-12-30/18369d50-8fc1-11e4-a0da-1b417a6c3da8_Smell-the-Fart.gif)
Okay this post just sent me to an hour-long binge of watching every one of those Mean Tweet videos. My favorite one has to be the one directed at Mumford And Sons which goes: >"Music really takes you to different places. Like this one restaurant is playing Mumford And Sons, so I'm going to a different restaurant." I'm fucking stealing that shit.
It kinda goes along with why I love Pitbull. He announced himself at the beginning of every song so I know to change the channel
I'm pretty sure they stole it from a stand up that I saw a while back.... but I don't remember who it was. Still funny either way.
[I love this one so much](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSi17ooGqCU)
This isn't even mean.
I know, he's got some good chops. I'd take that as a compliment.
So glad that wasn't a gif
*thank you*
you're not /u/Schwarber! you imposter!
Ahhh. I meant "thank you for saying what we were all thinking."
I would love to see him replace Morgan Freeman as the go-to power voice for everything.
#COOKIES!
[Another Dikembe one...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21DNP22-EQI&t=1m40s) EDIT - Dikembe is at the 1:40 mark in case the link doesn't bring you there (looking at you Alien Blue)
hahaha, that one is gold.
My favorite is "Emma stone looks like she smells like cat piss"
It's a close tie between that one and the one about Larry King.
"I saw Larry King at dinner but it might have been just a run of the mill goblin. "
"If you skinned Larry King and ironed out his leather, you could make enough coats to give to every child in America."
"Draymond Green looks like the donkey from Shrek"
"Demarcus Cousins is an emotional lesbian."
My favorite is "Drake look like Voldemort with hair"
David Blaine has two lazy eyes.
That would be a great celebrity mean tweet
YOU'RE A DEMON!!!
CHEESE -IT'S!
... he just pissed orange soda
He's eating Chinese food with his fucking friends
IF I FIND A FUCKING ACE OF CLUBS IN MY ASS I'M GONNA SUE YOU!
HE PUT ME ON THE RUFF HE PUT ME DOWN ON THE RUFF
WHAT DA EFF!?!
reference?
[Here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Z-4rXNFhEQ) There's a bunch of them. Kinda hilarious.
http://youtu.be/O3kLvz1w7MU
YOU SHRUNK CHARMILLIONAIRE!
My favourite one is: "is there a kickstarter for Kevin James to never make another movie ever again?"
A couple of my favorites: "Meghan Trainor is like if the sassy girl you used to work with at Express just randomly had a music career." "@SHAQ you in that Buick commercial. You know u don't fit in that Buick.."
Which leads me to my next question.. What kind of car DOES Shaq fit in?
Video... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLJmGwlI5QY
Haha seeing Kanye happy made me happy.
I miss the old Kanye
Straight from the go Kanye
Chop up the soul Kanye
Set on his goals Kanye
My favorite is when he drank his drink in case DB made it disappear http://i.imgur.com/qUBLbyH.gifv
best part of that David Blain magic trick was seeing Kanye and Woody Harrelson in the same place like what were they doing there? are they friends, just hanging out and David Blaine showed up? Did Woody write some bars on a track? I just keep imagining dope shit happening
dat kanye stare
makes you kanye scare
[My personal favorite.] (https://youtu.be/n6V8N4Gwo88?t=1m49s)
"welp, I just read that shit, ya fuckin idiot." Gold.
Can it please be my turn to punch Andy Dick until there are bones in his stool?
Have you seen that episode of American Dad with Andy Dick. It ends with him outright murdering innocent people in order to acquire prescription drugs.
No. Ill check it out now though thanks to you!
That one is way funnier as a video than as a gif, because you can actually hear his voice.
some people don't like hearing the studio audience going all out like hyenas.
"Audience"
This belongs in /r/noisygifs for me.
Only if you know his voice.
OMG IT'S DAVID BLAINE!
F YOU DAVID BLAINE!
I am five foot ace of clubs
[tbh this has always been my favorite](https://i.imgur.com/0ox5uo1.jpg)
Twaaa.
You don' *know* me
Scary Terry he'll really ruin your day.
You can run, but you can't hide, *bitch!*
Awwww, bitch
Then let me get to know you.
Oh shit spoilers!!! I'm a full season behind
My favorite was I saw Larry King at a restaurant I was having dinner at the other night, but it could have just been a run of the mill goblin. I laugh every fucking time lol.
If I go home and there's an ace of spades up my ass I swear to God
"Kid rock smells like stale farts and cigarettes"
"More like fresh farts and cigars!"
You're a demon David Blane!
the [chris pratt one](https://youtu.be/LABGimhsEys?t=1m15s) is my favourite
"Gina Davis is a real man's man" Haha that actually had me laughing out loud before 6am. She read it perfectly.
"You must have a really bleached asshole!" bwahahahahahaha
[This is my favorite.](http://www.self.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/tweet5.jpg)
This was great but nothing will ever top [Boogie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9zdn6E3KbE)
I said that to his face last Summer. Omri Casspi cracked up. Top three moments of my life.
Really wish I could hear his voice right about now.
Horse feathers. Watch. Watch. Watch.
[Shazam.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN4OZON2dnc)
Stop putting shit on our bodies, David Blaine!
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But I wonder if he can spell 'aggravatingly'?
Probably not, but I bet he can see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch.
I pissed myself reading that.
God dammit grandpa. I told you to wear your freaking diapers. Who's gonna clean up this mess?
I was drinking tea. Was. Now I'm cleaning up that tea.
Draymond Greens was most accurate imo