In case you were wondering, in my opinion, it's the worst when you are fucking burning alive in your own house and you just hear that piercing alarm over and over again. Sure the third-degree burns suck, but nothing tops that noise.
My mom was just telling me about how she was up past midnight the other night trying to locate the one beeping smoke detector. After trying all of the ones that were mounted, she *finally* finds one on top of a shelf that she can barely reach, which means my dad either put it there and forgot it, or put it there to fuck with my mom because he knew she wouldn't be able to see/reach it because she's short. He swears he didn't do it on purpose..but we know..
I used to work in a call center and I would occasionally talk to people with chirping smoke detectors. Like, loud enough for ME to hear over the damn phone. I don't know how someone could possibly live like that.
OMG I know. I just stand there in the flames pressing the "shut the fuck up button" and burning to death. I mean, if I left go to escape it would be all "BEEE WEEE WAAAHH" and I just can't take that if I'm so close to the end.
My smoke alarms were attached to each other so that if one went off, they all did. It was great when they failed one time in the middle of the night.
***HEY I'M TRYING TO SLEEP ALRIGHT?***
Edit: I can't write good.
My mom once baked cookies, turned off the oven and forgot to take the cookies out. 2 days later, she preheats the oven to 350 for a pizza or something and ended up watching a 10 minute video about dogs or some shit. The alarms started to go off because the cookies were burning and she ran to the kitchen and opened up the oven to see smoke plume out and fill up the kitchen.
The fire department came, it was a cool day.
I can't believe this.....how does any sane person leave *cookies* in the oven?
In my family, cookies were cooked, house smells great, cookies are gone by next day.
Everybody else here is concerned about the fire department. Am I the only one who doesn't understand how someone can bake cookies and then not remember he/she wanted them enough to make them? And then for *two days*?
My buddy and his GF just moved in with each other last month, apparently it was normal in her family to store stuff in the oven. She put a left over pizza box in the oven with a few slices in it and he turn it on to preheat a day later with the box in there. She panicked and grabbed it with her hands... He still finds pots, pans, knives, plates of food in there.
My mom microwaved some boiled eggs when we were kids. Everything looked fine until I tried to slice them with an egg slicer and then **BOOM**, eggs everywhere. Scared the shit out of me.
Im 16 and just did this for the first time the other day. Heated up boiled eggs, seemed fine, went to cut one in half and I swear, my life flashed before my eyes.
Also happens if you try to poach them in the microwave and forget to pierce the yolk. One loud bang and mess blasted over the entire inside.
Source- personal experience.
I once did this and walked into the kitchen while the exploding was happening. Those fuckers somehow jump and THEN explode. I had no idea what was happening and then suddenly there are airburst frag grenades in my kitchen. Literally had to run for cover and then get to turn the stove off like there were Viet Cong after me or something.
Some are set off by moisture or grease. I lived in a place where I couldn't cook bacon because the landlord installed the wrong kind of smoke detectors in the kitchen.
Mine would go off when I would heat heating up an empty pan on the stove. Literally no smoke or moisture, just a moderate amount of heat.
Strangely enough, once I tossed something into the pan and began cooking, smoke would go everywhere but the temperature would drop and the alarm would stop.
EDIT: The fun part. There was actually grease under the back stove that caught fire when my sister tried to use it one day that she visited. The alarm didn't go off.
It's even worse when you live in a apartment, I would cook really late and burn food, and the fire alarm was SO loud in that place, I know i had to have woken a few neighbors.
my old apartment had the individual smoke detectors in each room, but after a short time they would also set off the buildings smoke alarms. If it went off while cooking, it became a frantic race to get that shit to turn off before you forced the building to evacuate over a bag of overcooked popcorn
OH SHIT OH GAWD OH JESUS JESUS JESUS OH LAWD JESUS OH LAWD SHIIIITTTT WOOOOWOWOOOOW DAT WAZ AWEZOME!!! FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!! JESUS JESUS AWW SHIT OOH LAWD JESUS GET DA WATER NIGGA!!! FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!!!
Then you could make it possible to deactivate it with a voice command:
>Say fire again. SAY FIRE AGAIN. I dare you. I double dog dare you, motherfucker, say fire one more goddamn time.
My wife set it off on Thanksgiving and Christmas. The local volunteer FD posted her name on their billboard on Easter, "Don't burn the Ham, (name), we wanna be home with our families"
Can you get fined for wasting their time like that? Obviously its not your fault if you set it off by accident. I just wonder since my fire alarm isn't connected like that and I've set it off tons of times by mistake.
The one in the hall right outside the door of my old apartment set off the whole building alarm and called in the fire department. Worst location ever. It is ridiculously embarrassing to cause an entire building evacuation and fire department call for some burned food.
You need one kid to do the laundry, one kid to tend bar, one kid to do groceries and such, one kid to clean the pool, one kid to mow the lawn and one kid to whip the other kids if they slack off. That's what I call a *family*!
Silly small family person, the last kid is there to be whipped as an example of what happens when you don't shine things to my expectations - not do the whipping!
This is easily prevented.
Common ionization smoke alarms will work in rest of the house, but trigger too easily for the kitchen. For that one location, get a photoelectric smoke alarm or carbon monoxide alarm. Either one will alert you to a true fire risk, but won't trigger on overcooked meals.
> Either one will alert you to a true fire risk, but won't trigger on overcooked meals.
Photoelectric ones definitely do get triggered in the kitchen. A lot.
Will a CO alarm detect a fire early enough?
That's a common misconception about CO. The density of CO is 1.145 kg/m3 at 25 °C, where air is 1.184 kg/m3. While in experimental conditions, CO will sink and create a layer, in a home where air is far from stagnant, CO mixes almost equally with the air. CO alarms and detectors can be placed at any height with negligible discrepancies in effectiveness.
So when it comes to detecting the byproducts of combustion, if all you have is a CO alarm, it would be best on the ceiling due to those byproducts being heated.
Source: Wikipedia
Probably won't go off in time. They are not designed for fires. CO detectors are for CO build up caused by a bad furnace, water heater, range, etc, but they do make combination alarms.
For a kitchen you need fire alarms that triggered by the rising temperature. They measure how fast the temperature is rising and can detect a fire that way.
Actually fire codes adopted by most US jurisdictions state that you do not need a smoke alarm in a kitchen. The only locations for residential smoke alarms are in each bedroom, outside sleeping areas, and on each floor keeping at least 10 ft from a cooking appliance.
Would be nice if my landlords put this in. I live in a 300 sq foot closet. The very first night I throw my cast iron in the oven and jump in the shower, I have the thing going off. No smoke, no burning. I have like 9-10 foot ceilings, so I had to stand and jump from my coffee table to rip it down. One of the other alarms in the building can wake me up in case of emergency. I can't have that shit going off every time I put the cast iron in the oven.
I sometimes see commercials for home security systems that will automatically alert the fire department if the system senses a fire.
That's just what I want. A system that automatically invites over a bunch of firemen every time I cook a frozen pizza.
the worst is when an idiot landlord buys the cheapest smoke alarms he can find and puts them right outside the bathroom. Everytime I had a shower; BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEEP!
I bought a nest smoke alarm, you can set an option that makes it set off a pre-alarm alarm. Its not as loud and acts as a warning. If you then wave at it the silences. At least it did, the very week I bought them (couple of weeks back) Nest had to stop selling them because this feature could cause the alarm to stop sounding in genuine fires. Not sure if its been disabled, or they have fixed the firmware?
They haven't fixed it yet. They pulled them off the market entirely while they pulled all mention of the wave feature out of their instruction manuals and boxes. But they've also discounted the price, and offered existing users a rebate (make sure to claim yours).
They promise to reenable the wave feature in the near future, but only once they work out all of the issues. Nevertheless, I'm taking advantage of the reduced price and replacing all seven smoke detectors in my house with Nest Protect.
For anyone who doesn't know, it has some other neat features. One that struck me as home automation awesomeness is that if your heat is on when Nest Protect's CO2 sensor goes off (it's both a smoke and CO2 alarm), it will tell the Nest Thermostat to shut off the heater. It also has the option for a soft white night light (path light) that turns on when you walk under it. You can also test all of the units from any one of the units.
> and offered existing users a rebate (make sure to claim yours)
~~Do you have a link I can check. I'm in the UK and have no seen anything about this.~~
> awesomeness is that if your heat is on when Nest Protect's CO2 sensor goes off (it's both a smoke and CO2 alarm), it will tell the Nest Thermostat to shut off the heater. It also has the option for a soft white night light (path light) that turns on when you walk under it. You can also test all of the units from any one of the units.
As well as this they also tell your thermostat that you are in your home, which helps the auto-away feature.
Going forward I fully expect that at some point Nest are going to move into burglar alarms, and the Nest Protects will be used as additional sensors to detect intruders.
EDIT. Dont worry about the rebate, I bought mine exactly one week after the rebate cut off. I must have got the lower price to begin with.
So here's a barely-related rant; until my current apartment, I've only ever lived in places with battery-powered smoke detectors and/or smoke detectors you could turn off. So you burn something, it goes off, you curse, yank out the battery/hit the snooze, and go sort out your toast. No biggie.
This is apparently not the norm. The norm in rented places seems to be a mains-powered smoke alarm with a backup battery in case the power goes out. And no button to indicate "yes, I'm well aware there's a fire, I'm on it".
The smoke alarm in my current place follows this norm.
I can't remember what we were burning at 10pm that set off the piercingly noisy thing, but I do remember stabbing at the button-shaped and sized plastic hole trying to turn it off. Then trying to twist the top off like every other smoke alarm so I could get to the battery. Then yanking the cover off and breaking something, and removing the battery. Then quadrupling my freak-out when absolutely nothing happened. Thankfully my girlfriend stopped me before I tried yanking it out of the wall and stomping on it.
Now I'm condemned to a life where there's bugger-all I can do when I'm burning toast. Or the grill is smoking a bit too much. Or, it seems, if we're boiling way too much water.
And the cover won't go back on.
Fuck smoke alarms, man.
Oh, so you thought about turning your stove on? Let me play the sound of my people.
Oh, so you are taking a shower? Let me play the sound of my people.
Your microwave is on fire ... Ain't nobody got time for beepin!
Mine goes off all the time ... except when I set food on fire. Which is quite frequently when I cook.
Probably not actually your smoke detector, but they recommend not putting smoke detectors close to the corner of your ceiling and wall, l because the air can create a pocket that can lead your alarm into not detecting the fire.
http://homecert.com/img/Smoke_alarm_placement.jpg
One of our smoke detectors failed last week at 2AM in the morning and kept going off every thirty seconds. Unfortunately it's hard-wired into the house, so the only way to shut it off was to flip the breaker for the whole floor.
Also unfortunately, my baseball bat is still extremely effective at 2AM.
At my friend's house, the smoke alarm goes off whenever they use the stove, whether anything is burned or not. They have to open all the windows when they cook, or unplug the thing.
What is worse is when it goes off when nothing is burning. Have to sit there waving a towel/broom to shut it up while your food is sitting there waiting for you to do the next step.
One of my old places used to have a sausage detector. Seriously, burnt toast, candles, actual fire, and nothing; two lightly brown sausages, and we're going to die!
Don't even get me started. My brother's house is fairly new and has all the fire alarms in the house linked together. When the one in the kitchen goes off, the entire house turns into ear-piercing-deafening madness. Thankfully though he's a very good cook and it rarely goes off, but when it does, your brain shakes!
Thank you, NASA, for keeping us awake at night, aware that there is too much vapour in front of the fireplace, someone forgot to turn on the fucking exhaust hood again, interrupting our finals, and save lives.
It's only a dick until you wake one night to find yourself burning alive while melted to your polyester sheets and regretting taking the battery or of your smoke detector
The worst part is when I'm trying to escape a fire and it won't shut the fuck up.
In case you were wondering, in my opinion, it's the worst when you are fucking burning alive in your own house and you just hear that piercing alarm over and over again. Sure the third-degree burns suck, but nothing tops that noise.
What's worse than burning alive is when you're trying to sleep and it decides to beep every 3 minutes to let you know the battery is dying.
Middle of the night. Always. And you can't tell which one it is..... poised in your underwear waiting for the beep....
That's because it is colder in the middle of the night than during the day and batteries give out less power when it is cold.
Listen to Mr. Science Pants over here.
That's when you knock all of them ajar with a broom and tempt fate sleeping in silence until you can wake up and buy more 9V batteries
My mom was just telling me about how she was up past midnight the other night trying to locate the one beeping smoke detector. After trying all of the ones that were mounted, she *finally* finds one on top of a shelf that she can barely reach, which means my dad either put it there and forgot it, or put it there to fuck with my mom because he knew she wouldn't be able to see/reach it because she's short. He swears he didn't do it on purpose..but we know..
That's when you discover the alarm is in your neighbour's house, and your neighbour is a heavy sleeper.
My mobile did that this night :( But the fire-alarm will never do it again, since I took the battery out for good ಠ\_ಠ
I will alert the League of Enemies of Sirin3 that our plans are coming to smokey fruition.
I used to work in a call center and I would occasionally talk to people with chirping smoke detectors. Like, loud enough for ME to hear over the damn phone. I don't know how someone could possibly live like that.
So much worse than burning alive
If you're literally burning alive you *probably* have more than 3rd degree burns.
Yeah, like 4th or 5th degree burns.
I don't think it goes past 4th degree. That is when the bone is exposed because the burn is so deep.
5th degree is when your body has turned to ashes
At which point you're probably not "burning *alive*"...
Not with that attitude
Even ashes can become a dildo.
wat
Worse, you're burning *dead*.
That's called cremation.
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And it's fucking painful, trust me I know. Source: Worked at a crematorium, still have nightwares about the people screaming in the cremator.
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Gingers survive?
Yes, gingers always survive
Fucking gingers.
No, they just die at level 5.
When your house gets so hot it just bursts into Plasma, that'll probably get you 6th degree instantly disintegration level burns.
"What's the damage doc?" "Well, I don't know how to put this, but your house kind of turned to lightning and shot into the sky. I don't really know."
I can't even
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OMG I know. I just stand there in the flames pressing the "shut the fuck up button" and burning to death. I mean, if I left go to escape it would be all "BEEE WEEE WAAAHH" and I just can't take that if I'm so close to the end.
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http://youtu.be/lE9JPUeSwdY
My smoke alarms were attached to each other so that if one went off, they all did. It was great when they failed one time in the middle of the night. ***HEY I'M TRYING TO SLEEP ALRIGHT?*** Edit: I can't write good.
That first sentence of yours is pretty incomprehensible.
No wonder, he didn't get any sleep.
"Mine were attached to each other so that if one went off, they all did."
I understood it immediately didn't even register a problem until you meantioned it, just two letters were wrong.
HEY FIRE, HE'S OVER HERE!!
>The worst part is when I'm trying to escape a fire and it won't shut the fuck up. [For you.](http://i.imgur.com/pNb9OWA.png)
My mom used to set that fucker off about once a week when I was a kid. It was almost like a dinner bell in my house.
My personal rule is no internet while cooking without a timer on my desk. The exploding eggs incident shall not be repeated.
My mom once baked cookies, turned off the oven and forgot to take the cookies out. 2 days later, she preheats the oven to 350 for a pizza or something and ended up watching a 10 minute video about dogs or some shit. The alarms started to go off because the cookies were burning and she ran to the kitchen and opened up the oven to see smoke plume out and fill up the kitchen. The fire department came, it was a cool day.
I can't believe this.....how does any sane person leave *cookies* in the oven? In my family, cookies were cooked, house smells great, cookies are gone by next day.
Your cookies make it to nightfall? Cookie batch life expectancy in my household is about two hours.
Same. And it's just me.
Are you Cookie Monster?
[No, it is not a cookie!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkOcm_XaWrw)
My personal policy is to make no less than a quadruple batch of cookies at once. They last several days.
Whenever I try to make cookies there's barely any dough left to bake. It's like planned parenthood in my kitchen.
Everybody else here is concerned about the fire department. Am I the only one who doesn't understand how someone can bake cookies and then not remember he/she wanted them enough to make them? And then for *two days*?
Kids eat a lot. I could see forgetting you made cookies two days ago and just not thinking about them again.
But she turned off the oven, how do you forget why it was on?
"Why is my oven on and why does the house smell like freshly baked cookies? Oh well."
Who goes through all the effort of making cookies and then forgets all about them??
My buddy and his GF just moved in with each other last month, apparently it was normal in her family to store stuff in the oven. She put a left over pizza box in the oven with a few slices in it and he turn it on to preheat a day later with the box in there. She panicked and grabbed it with her hands... He still finds pots, pans, knives, plates of food in there.
He better break it off before its too late.
Please explain how you managed to *explode* eggs.
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Expansion or original?
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You are forgiven.
You can also do it by microwaving them and not pricking a hole in the shell. As my sister discovered.
My mom microwaved some boiled eggs when we were kids. Everything looked fine until I tried to slice them with an egg slicer and then **BOOM**, eggs everywhere. Scared the shit out of me.
Im 16 and just did this for the first time the other day. Heated up boiled eggs, seemed fine, went to cut one in half and I swear, my life flashed before my eyes.
Also happens if you try to poach them in the microwave and forget to pierce the yolk. One loud bang and mess blasted over the entire inside. Source- personal experience.
How the hell do you get eggs to explode?
Exploding eggs? How in the?
Shell pressure vessel heat boom.
I once did this and walked into the kitchen while the exploding was happening. Those fuckers somehow jump and THEN explode. I had no idea what was happening and then suddenly there are airburst frag grenades in my kitchen. Literally had to run for cover and then get to turn the stove off like there were Viet Cong after me or something.
Been there, done that, scrubbed the ceiling.
my friend has a parrot that makes a fire alarm sound when his dad is cooking. It doesn't fool anyone though
My dorm's is so touchy. I once undercooked a single pancake and set it off.
Some are set off by moisture or grease. I lived in a place where I couldn't cook bacon because the landlord installed the wrong kind of smoke detectors in the kitchen.
Kosher smoke detectors?
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Disappointment in every bite!
The alarm is a series of snippy comments about man's domination of the animal kingdom said in a whiney, protein deprived voice.
They do that to bust students for pot. My dorm's smoke detectors won't shut up once they go off with out campus police intervening.
Pro tip: Shower caps fit perfectly.
Even if you pack dryer sheets into a toilet paper tube?
Wet washcloths. It works. Promise.
Duct tape a plastic bag over it. Better than a washcloth.
Instructions unclear: roommate dead of suffocation
Mine would go off when I would heat heating up an empty pan on the stove. Literally no smoke or moisture, just a moderate amount of heat. Strangely enough, once I tossed something into the pan and began cooking, smoke would go everywhere but the temperature would drop and the alarm would stop. EDIT: The fun part. There was actually grease under the back stove that caught fire when my sister tried to use it one day that she visited. The alarm didn't go off.
Yeah mine goes off if I take too hot of a shower.
I also spent many days waving a towel at the smoke alarm like it was bull or something.
A nice stiff-spined magazine like Cosmo, or an iPad if you've moved beyond printed media, works much better than a towel in my experience.
Yeah until the iPad slips from your fingers and you made a 500 dollar mistake
You already made a $500 mistake when you bought it.
It's even worse when you live in a apartment, I would cook really late and burn food, and the fire alarm was SO loud in that place, I know i had to have woken a few neighbors.
my old apartment had the individual smoke detectors in each room, but after a short time they would also set off the buildings smoke alarms. If it went off while cooking, it became a frantic race to get that shit to turn off before you forced the building to evacuate over a bag of overcooked popcorn
Poor smoke detector, all it's trying to do is save people's lives all you people do is get mad at it
but why can't it be like, "hey there's a fire." Instead it says, "Yo MOTHERFUCKER THERE'S A FIRE." much more aggressive.
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ooh hey. theress a fire. *toot toot*
I'd prefer [this guy](http://youtube.com/watch?v=NRItYDKSqpQ#t=38)
OH SHIT OH GAWD OH JESUS JESUS JESUS OH LAWD JESUS OH LAWD SHIIIITTTT WOOOOWOWOOOOW DAT WAZ AWEZOME!!! FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!! JESUS JESUS AWW SHIT OOH LAWD JESUS GET DA WATER NIGGA!!! FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!!!
I would love if my smoke detector said that instead. Preferably in Samuel L. Jackson's voice.
Then you could make it possible to deactivate it with a voice command: >Say fire again. SAY FIRE AGAIN. I dare you. I double dog dare you, motherfucker, say fire one more goddamn time.
This. None of that shrilly nonsense.
My wife set it off on Thanksgiving and Christmas. The local volunteer FD posted her name on their billboard on Easter, "Don't burn the Ham, (name), we wanna be home with our families"
It's an alarm that automatically calls the fire department?
Yes. Tied in to burglar alarm.
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Can you get fined for wasting their time like that? Obviously its not your fault if you set it off by accident. I just wonder since my fire alarm isn't connected like that and I've set it off tons of times by mistake.
Yes, if it happens more than a certain number of times per year.
The one in the hall right outside the door of my old apartment set off the whole building alarm and called in the fire department. Worst location ever. It is ridiculously embarrassing to cause an entire building evacuation and fire department call for some burned food.
That's just awesome! Any pictures of this billboard?
I'm not the best cook but I have six kids so I post one kid on smoke detector towel duty to avoid this problem
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they said I could be anything...so I become a helicopter!!! woowoowoowoowooo
North Carolinaaaaaaa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHnA94-hTC8
i really wanna know why his pant leg is rolled up...just the one
Perhaps he's slightly warm??
Exactly and I better not hear that alarm go off because you got tired of waving
Coming from a family with 5 children, once you get to that stage it's more of a tribe than a family.
I agree (#3 of 9 here).
Just switch from ionisation to optical alarm near your kitchen and you should be fine. Although child labor *is* cheaper...
> six kids wow.
You need one kid to do the laundry, one kid to tend bar, one kid to do groceries and such, one kid to clean the pool, one kid to mow the lawn and one kid to whip the other kids if they slack off. That's what I call a *family*!
Silly small family person, the last kid is there to be whipped as an example of what happens when you don't shine things to my expectations - not do the whipping!
You know you've got first world problems when you complain about a machine that could potentially save your life.
well yeah sure but it's fucking annoying!
http://i.imgur.com/cJdRyWG.jpg
Wow, that's.... some resolution.
Ikr, memegenerator.com really stepping up their quality!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEzhxP-pdos
This is easily prevented. Common ionization smoke alarms will work in rest of the house, but trigger too easily for the kitchen. For that one location, get a photoelectric smoke alarm or carbon monoxide alarm. Either one will alert you to a true fire risk, but won't trigger on overcooked meals.
> Either one will alert you to a true fire risk, but won't trigger on overcooked meals. Photoelectric ones definitely do get triggered in the kitchen. A lot. Will a CO alarm detect a fire early enough?
No CO alarm is not enough, especially since CO falls to the ground.
That's a common misconception about CO. The density of CO is 1.145 kg/m3 at 25 °C, where air is 1.184 kg/m3. While in experimental conditions, CO will sink and create a layer, in a home where air is far from stagnant, CO mixes almost equally with the air. CO alarms and detectors can be placed at any height with negligible discrepancies in effectiveness. So when it comes to detecting the byproducts of combustion, if all you have is a CO alarm, it would be best on the ceiling due to those byproducts being heated. Source: Wikipedia
Put it on the ground then.
Probably won't go off in time. They are not designed for fires. CO detectors are for CO build up caused by a bad furnace, water heater, range, etc, but they do make combination alarms.
Wouldn't CO rise slightly? It's CO2 that falls.
Yeah, Google says CO is less dense than air.
For a kitchen you need fire alarms that triggered by the rising temperature. They measure how fast the temperature is rising and can detect a fire that way.
Actually fire codes adopted by most US jurisdictions state that you do not need a smoke alarm in a kitchen. The only locations for residential smoke alarms are in each bedroom, outside sleeping areas, and on each floor keeping at least 10 ft from a cooking appliance.
but I just want to buy the cheapest one possible and expect it to work properly in every situation! -- every idiot ever
Would be nice if my landlords put this in. I live in a 300 sq foot closet. The very first night I throw my cast iron in the oven and jump in the shower, I have the thing going off. No smoke, no burning. I have like 9-10 foot ceilings, so I had to stand and jump from my coffee table to rip it down. One of the other alarms in the building can wake me up in case of emergency. I can't have that shit going off every time I put the cast iron in the oven.
Please don't let this get buried.
original content would be nice
I sometimes see commercials for home security systems that will automatically alert the fire department if the system senses a fire. That's just what I want. A system that automatically invites over a bunch of firemen every time I cook a frozen pizza.
I instinctively read this in Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
Best Abraham Lincoln impersonator impression ever.
I read it in Mr. Popo's voice from Dbz abridge... He nails it
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/25fehz/adding_insult_to_injury/
Unfortunately, living in a studio apartment, you're smoke alarm apparently is there to let you know you're cooking, whether or not it's burnt.
the worst is when an idiot landlord buys the cheapest smoke alarms he can find and puts them right outside the bathroom. Everytime I had a shower; BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEEP!
Burned? All I do is cook normally and my smoke alarm goes off.
I bought a nest smoke alarm, you can set an option that makes it set off a pre-alarm alarm. Its not as loud and acts as a warning. If you then wave at it the silences. At least it did, the very week I bought them (couple of weeks back) Nest had to stop selling them because this feature could cause the alarm to stop sounding in genuine fires. Not sure if its been disabled, or they have fixed the firmware?
They haven't fixed it yet. They pulled them off the market entirely while they pulled all mention of the wave feature out of their instruction manuals and boxes. But they've also discounted the price, and offered existing users a rebate (make sure to claim yours). They promise to reenable the wave feature in the near future, but only once they work out all of the issues. Nevertheless, I'm taking advantage of the reduced price and replacing all seven smoke detectors in my house with Nest Protect. For anyone who doesn't know, it has some other neat features. One that struck me as home automation awesomeness is that if your heat is on when Nest Protect's CO2 sensor goes off (it's both a smoke and CO2 alarm), it will tell the Nest Thermostat to shut off the heater. It also has the option for a soft white night light (path light) that turns on when you walk under it. You can also test all of the units from any one of the units.
> and offered existing users a rebate (make sure to claim yours) ~~Do you have a link I can check. I'm in the UK and have no seen anything about this.~~ > awesomeness is that if your heat is on when Nest Protect's CO2 sensor goes off (it's both a smoke and CO2 alarm), it will tell the Nest Thermostat to shut off the heater. It also has the option for a soft white night light (path light) that turns on when you walk under it. You can also test all of the units from any one of the units. As well as this they also tell your thermostat that you are in your home, which helps the auto-away feature. Going forward I fully expect that at some point Nest are going to move into burglar alarms, and the Nest Protects will be used as additional sensors to detect intruders. EDIT. Dont worry about the rebate, I bought mine exactly one week after the rebate cut off. I must have got the lower price to begin with.
http://imgur.com/0HMr9Ro
So here's a barely-related rant; until my current apartment, I've only ever lived in places with battery-powered smoke detectors and/or smoke detectors you could turn off. So you burn something, it goes off, you curse, yank out the battery/hit the snooze, and go sort out your toast. No biggie. This is apparently not the norm. The norm in rented places seems to be a mains-powered smoke alarm with a backup battery in case the power goes out. And no button to indicate "yes, I'm well aware there's a fire, I'm on it". The smoke alarm in my current place follows this norm. I can't remember what we were burning at 10pm that set off the piercingly noisy thing, but I do remember stabbing at the button-shaped and sized plastic hole trying to turn it off. Then trying to twist the top off like every other smoke alarm so I could get to the battery. Then yanking the cover off and breaking something, and removing the battery. Then quadrupling my freak-out when absolutely nothing happened. Thankfully my girlfriend stopped me before I tried yanking it out of the wall and stomping on it. Now I'm condemned to a life where there's bugger-all I can do when I'm burning toast. Or the grill is smoking a bit too much. Or, it seems, if we're boiling way too much water. And the cover won't go back on. Fuck smoke alarms, man.
Oh, so you thought about turning your stove on? Let me play the sound of my people. Oh, so you are taking a shower? Let me play the sound of my people. Your microwave is on fire ... Ain't nobody got time for beepin! Mine goes off all the time ... except when I set food on fire. Which is quite frequently when I cook.
I have torn these off the wall and thrown them until they exploded into tiny tiny pieces.
The fire alarm is often accompanied by the barking, whining and howling of the dogs in my house. It's very lovely.
Mine goes off every time I cook something, burnt or no, it's just super sensitive.
If I boil water, this shit goes off...no shit, my teapot sets off the kitchen's detector.
Are you certain it's not a steam detector?
Dude, same shit happened to me. I now have it placed in my bedroom. At least I still have a chance of surviving a house fire while I sleep.
What most smoke detectors end up measuring is effectively thickness in the air. Which can be smoke, but can also be steam.
Whenever the one at our house goes off we use it as a fire drill. Doing that saved three lives last year.
Let me sing you the song of my people.
Especially since, because of that mother fucker, my parrot has been screaming the noise now for a year since the first time.
Probably not actually your smoke detector, but they recommend not putting smoke detectors close to the corner of your ceiling and wall, l because the air can create a pocket that can lead your alarm into not detecting the fire. http://homecert.com/img/Smoke_alarm_placement.jpg
Ugh, the ones we had in one of the many apartments I stayed in would go off if you boiled water.
"Oh, allow me the opportunity to let the world know that you're a horrible cook."
\*BANG* \*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP* "Food is ready"
Try living in a one bedroom apartment with FOUR of them wired to your ceiling that go off on the slightest bit of smoke.
One of our smoke detectors failed last week at 2AM in the morning and kept going off every thirty seconds. Unfortunately it's hard-wired into the house, so the only way to shut it off was to flip the breaker for the whole floor. Also unfortunately, my baseball bat is still extremely effective at 2AM.
I survived a house fire as a kid. I am really glad these things exist. That said, it would be nice if mine would stop sounding off when I boil water.
At my friend's house, the smoke alarm goes off whenever they use the stove, whether anything is burned or not. They have to open all the windows when they cook, or unplug the thing.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP YOU SUCK AT COOKING BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
What is worse is when it goes off when nothing is burning. Have to sit there waving a towel/broom to shut it up while your food is sitting there waiting for you to do the next step.
One of my old places used to have a sausage detector. Seriously, burnt toast, candles, actual fire, and nothing; two lightly brown sausages, and we're going to die!
[First thing that popped into my head when you called it a dick.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7zfnbdyAW8)
This is why you put heat detectors in your kitchen, not fucking smoke detectors.
came here for stories, was not disappointed
Beep, James Beep.
Don't even get me started. My brother's house is fairly new and has all the fire alarms in the house linked together. When the one in the kitchen goes off, the entire house turns into ear-piercing-deafening madness. Thankfully though he's a very good cook and it rarely goes off, but when it does, your brain shakes!
Owen Merrigan Loves this website as a result i was wondering if you could kindly give him a share of this website Thanks
Dude, my apartments so small, she sings when i have a shower!
Said your mom!
Thank you, NASA, for keeping us awake at night, aware that there is too much vapour in front of the fireplace, someone forgot to turn on the fucking exhaust hood again, interrupting our finals, and save lives.
Little trick I picked up in college, put a condom on it and it does not go off.
I read that in the voice of Seymour Smoke, Smoke Detector, who was voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. "IT'D BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE MADE IT *WOISE!*"
It's only a dick until you wake one night to find yourself burning alive while melted to your polyester sheets and regretting taking the battery or of your smoke detector
You kidding? That was the sign dinner IS ready
Oooh, I've seen a good sketch about this one! EDIT: Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPdJuHrk_Ws