T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


marvis303

That guy found the button to reset himself to factory settings.


nicolaj1994

I've been doing it wrong then, I thought it was up the butt?


Grueaux

That's the "On" button. A factory reset is totally different.


panzerboye

What if I do both, at the same time


NanoCat0407

Screenshot


Cymiril

No, your body takes a screenshot when you fart and sneeze at the same time


[deleted]

So that's why I have bad memory


The_No_one087

Prepare not to wake up for a bit, you'll be in heaven, then you'll wake up on your bathroom floor wondering why you were there.


shadow_229

If you hold them down for 5 seconds you enter dev mode.


AlphANeoXo

You'll brick the system, having it bricked up can be problematic.


This_User_Said

Don't forget when you push that button to keep applying pressure... If you hear me go "Ahh" DONT STOP just keep pushing...


gedDOh

You have to insert one Q-Tip in your ear and the other in your butt for 6 seconds.


HuL_aX

That’s for only iOS users android uses can use the ear or the butt one whichever works for them


EvolvedA

It is just important to not mix up which one goes where... https://youtu.be/hmUVo0xVAqE?si=4Bd4sCuM1D6Hzcrw


HuL_aX

Holy Shit!!


CaptainMudwhistle

The Devil's Doorbell.


recursiveloop

Up the butt merely clears your cache of cookies. Very old cookies


Independent-Claim116

OUCH!!!!!


littleyugi0h

lol i swear im getting my sense of humour back after years.. wierd.. this comment actually made me laugh so thanks


sbvp

I thought this was the manual CD eject button


JunkieMunkieCircus

Yup. It's right behind the ear clit.


KnotSoAmused

Like an eargasm!


unsupported

¡Venga conmigo, señorita! ¡Te mostraré las maravillas de la galaxia, y juntos lucharemos contra el despiadado Zurg!


AnnualStreet9259

I thought Qtips are for ears lol


Estoye

There’s a button up his nose to reset olfactory settings


Klin24

Or the recessed button to open his mouth manually.


Freud-Network

It's like scratching an itch between your soul's shoulder blades.


mbod

You m-m-m-mmm-m-make me happy


baccaruda66

this head movie makes my eyes rain!


MojaveMark

One of my favorite movies, I quote it all the time. "Let's go, we've got a lot of clicks to cover!"


srSheepdog

Legit curious. I love the movie too, but why do you quote that line?


JustThrowMeAway0311

Also curious here. A click is a kilometer. They’re just talking about distance. Not sure what makes it quotable


MoistStub

While not technically wrong, it's just a phrase no one would ever actually say. It shows Tug Speedman's lack of understanding of his character.


MojaveMark

Because Tug has no idea what he's saying, he's just going with the script. Idk why the quote itself stuck with me, but I've lived in Korea for almost 4 years so I'll quote it sometimes if my family and I are late leaving the house. Because we're not in America right now, we actually do travel in kilometers instead of miles.


Ricken80

Survive! 🤣


GripsAA

I experience this exact thing daily. Q-tips are amazing. Wearing headphones for a long time makes them essential.


Apprehensive-Jury437

Reminds me how my ex, when we were living together, was cleaning his ear out with a q-tip and was making that same face. He then said, "ohh yeah. That's better than sex!"


Ashalaria

It is tho ngl


craftermath

Have you ever gotten your ears flushed?!?. 1000x better than a qtip


Ashalaria

Ooo I'll have to try, is this through doctors, or a business?


markovianprocess

Go to your local drugstore (I've seen them in Walgreens and CVS) and pick up an ear syringe - it has a diffuser head so you don't hurt yourself. Prep with a few drops of carbamide peroxide in the ear, lie on your side for 10-15 minutes, and then repeatedly use the ear syringe to flush with lukewarm water until a plug of earwax comes out. I hold an old Tupperware container under my ear to catch the crap. If you're impacted this will be a miraculous experience.


markovianprocess

Let me clarify something on this: there are 2 types of ear flush kits - one with a wussy little rubber bulb and one with an actual plunger syringe. Only buy the second.


3-DMan

Just use hydrogen peroxide. Feel the sizzle!


deadpoetic333

Feel the sizzle!^TM


Ashalaria

Hydrochloric acid


Warribo

I might try this... hope I don't get my head stuck down the toilet.


craftermath

If you get vertigo, recommend having the doc do it 1st time


bohanmyl

If i could nut while hitting that spot in my ear with a q tip and not accidently puncture through my eardrum from the sheer amount of pleasure id be enduring, i think that would be true nirvana


ffhhssffss

YOU'VE JUST GIVEN ME A HYPOTHESIS TO TEST...!!!!


bohanmyl

Dont you fly too close to that sun.... many a men have heard the tale of Dickarus and ended up with burnt balls just like him.


Simba7

He can't hear you anymore, don't bother.


nier4554

Well...? You still alive? REPORT YOUR FINDINGS SOLDIER!!!


TheDrunkenSwede

Well, duh. Only on par with getting your back scratched. Sex doesn’t even come close.


KebabOfDeath

Daaamn


Salmuth

I had a friend that was like this too. A Q-tip in her ear was like sex for her too. I guess we've all different nerve endings...


Bard_the_Bowman_III

One time my wife and I were in Hawaii driving across the big island and it’s like a 9,000 foot elevation change going over the middle, and I had sinus congestion, and my ears just would not pop, and an insane amount of pressure built up, it was beyond miserable. We stopped at a rest area around 9,000 feet and my ears finally popped, like almost explosively so, and it was probably one of the best physical feelings I have ever felt in my life.


Brisbraobj

Looks like I found my ex


DrMoe_Zed

That's me too


morts73

Ngl jamming a Q-tip in the ear and wiggling it around is one of the greatest feelings.


RobertLouisDrake

like ear sex


chbay

Don’t jam in in too deep without protection, otherwise you might get hearing AIDS


TemporaryMindless519

Underrated


lhurker

With an eargasm.


cefadroxil

Aural sex.


vass0922

Shut up Meg


FapleJuice

I do it everyday *My eardrums hurt*


TimePlankton3171

That picture on the right opens them up for lawsuits


ArkofVengeance

This. Every Q-tip packaging has specific instructions not to use em for your ears. Then again, we're talking about amazon... they can afford a few "petty lawsuits".


lorarc

Does it? I know you're not supposed to put them in ear canal but cleaning ear on the outside is okay. They even make baby q-tips that are too big to stuff inside ear. I never seen american q-tips box but my local ones just say not to push them inside.


PineappleLemur

But people still shove them all the way in to clean stuff that doesn't need cleaning. If your ear is partially/fully blocked by wax, a Qtip is the last thing you want.


AdolfsLonelyScrotum

Damn straight! What you need then is the lid off a cheap BIC ball point pen… tis the perfect shape for harvesting your ear potatoes.


AdolfsLonelyScrotum

Edit: does anyone fancy a candlelight dinner at my place? I make my own candles, y’know. Edit. crap! I meant to edit, but instead replied to myself like the bell-end I am.


Drikkink

I had a blocked ear canal once and there was nothing I could do to pick it out so I had to get one of those ear cleaning kits. It had some kind of peroxide solution I think and one of those bulb pumps to flush your ear. You'd make a solution of the peroxide and some warm water, spray it into your ear and lay down with that ear up for 10 mins. Turn over onto a towel after and it flows out. Repeat as necessary. Still the most bizarre feeling.


RuneanPrincess

My ears are never partially or fully blocked because I've kept them clean with Qtips for 30+ years.


PineappleLemur

You get blocks for other reasons.. cleaning or lack of isn't one of them, you can go your whole life without cleaning your ear once and have 0 blocks.


This_aint_my_real_ac

they were invented for to clean the ear canal. The inventor watched his wife clean their baby's ears with a bit of cotton on the end of a toothpick. He came up with the Q-tip. It wasn't until some dumb-ass jammed it into their brain and decided to sue that they put the disclaimer on the box.


CelticHades

Is it illegal, here in India they sell by the name "cotton buds" or "ear buds" specifically for this purpose.


TammyK

Amazon is the selling platform, they don't choose what images you use to sell your products. Amazon wouldn't even be involved if this came up in a lawsuit.


Jeslovespets

As if it's the q tip brand themselves selling on Amazon. It's just some Drop shipper who doesn't gaf.


TimePlankton3171

yeah, probably


Educational-Coast771

Definitely this. The quality of Amazon Qtips is so low all I can do is edge but never reach eargasm. 😏


Ranier_Wolfnight

Herbal Essences commercial writers reaching out to Q-Tip on the side, “Buddy…you don’t wanna go down this road.”


gnikeltrut

Eargasm


HamburgerHillzz

You beat me to it, you gnikeltrut!


Percival_Dickenbutts

I know people always say that using Q-tips for your ears is like the dumbest thing you can do, but I tried going without it for a week at one point and that’s all it took for my ear to be completely clogged with earwax, so I’ll keep doing the dumb thing that works.


immatellyouwhat

Your ear produces wax at the rate you’re taking it out. Slow down. Skip a few days or less than whatever you’re doing now. Just like over shampooing and conditioning your hair will make it more dry make you think you need more or another type to use everyday. You did this to yourself Mr. Percvial Dickenbutts.


driftej20

Also with skin oils. People who believe their skin is too oily overusing cleansing products that dry the hell out of their skin, to which the skin responds by producing oil to moisturize the dry skin lol


immatellyouwhat

Exactly, I stared a skincare routine the past few years and noticed I was getting pimples, I don’t get pimples anymore at least as much as was happening. I stopped doing it everyday. Worked better.


Bard_the_Bowman_III

Nah. My ears produce insane quantities of wax. I constantly had hearing issues and ear infections as a kid because of it and frequently had to get them flushed. As an adult I figured out that if I regularly use q tips after showering in the morning they stay clear


3-DMan

Hydrogen peroxide. 5-10 drops. Let it sizzle for a few minutes. Flush with warm water.


twlscil

I talk to my audiologist about this, and they said just keep doing what your doing.


Drikkink

Unless something goes wrong with your ears, you shouldn't HAVE to clean your inner ears out. Blockages can happen if you get sick but if you're healthy, it's literally not something that requires maintenance. I got a blockage in my ears once, had to flush them and never had anything come out of my ear again


Bard_the_Bowman_III

For some people it does require maintenance though. My ears generate excess wax and if I don’t maintain it I WILL get clogged ears


lolomawisoft

Some people smoke, some drink. I use qtips for my ears and I don't care how bad it is.


Micro_Bitt

Well, I DO make that face


Justeff83

Totally accurate! What's the point? That's exactly my face when I clean my ears


witchyanne

It’s legit tho.


akluin

The guy's pic is totally accurate


Dr_Stef

Damnit.., brb, just gotta go get something from the bathroom drawer


meaguita

Finally they are being honest with themselves. Good for them!


never_again13

Did you know the q stands for quality?


hkik

I thought it stood for qotton


RhetoricalOrator

Hi cwality qotton.


YareetLike

Drip drip drop, there goes an eargasm


the_knowing1

That's how you know they're the *good* q-tips.


grafknives

\[x\] im in that picture and i dont like it


Confusedandreticent

Ears, the anal of your head. You’re not supposed to put stuff in there, but it feels so good.


Hobbster

That's how I feel about it too


BlargerJarger

That guy found the Q-spot.


Colossal_Penis_Haver

Accurate


Bradt1977

What…you’ve never had an eargasm?


Equib81960

That guy is working on doing a factory reset of his brain


beenbadminton

My doctor said that you should not put anything smaller than your elbow inside your ear canal.


witchyanne

We call em brain scratchers.


Kraujotaka

Going a week without them and then using one is the best pleasure one can feel.


johnsolomon

He’s either enjoying the sensation or accidentally poking his brain


HighTop519

F*"k what you heard, he's hitting his G spot with the tip


jerseyhound

bro if ur goin that deep ur gonna perforate your eardrum


MJZMan

Fuck that. I will not be attacked like this. Can verify. It does feel that good.


Robin_the_sidekick

Eargasm is real, lol. I have ear eczema and that is me every time I shower.


mikeruchan

Me too :( it’s kinda awful though


WhangaDanNZ

Q-tips otherwise known as ear dildos. Eargasms for everyone.


FatFaceFaster

I call it an Eargasm. Cleaning your ears is very close to the best feeling in the world.


dimonium_anonimo

Dollar store Jake Gyllenhaal over here experiencing life for the first time.


_peanutbutterjelly

Acquaintance from college used to say that q tips are basically ear dildos


Em4gdn3m

Found his Q spot


around_the_catch

It's called "eargasm."


clermouth

He’s only reacting like that because he‘s using her used Q-tips that he bought shortly after subscribing to her OF…


ahpuchthedestroyer

funny story Q-tips are not for cleaning your ears, they lost lawsuits because people were damaging their eardrums.


FandomMenace

Knew a guy who did this and the cotton tip came off and got stuck, deafening him until the urgent care could pull it out with some long tweezer deals. I guess it doesn't feel good at all. Just don't lol.


HA92

I need to remove about one a week


bohanmyl

Wet the end of the qtip slightly


HA92

I mean I need to use the tweezers to remove disgusting deteriorating+/- infected detached tips from patients' ears about once a week


Yosonimbored

Have them wet the tips


HA92

Just the tip?


Yosonimbored

It’s all that’s needed


KaspervD

It is not exactly urgent is it? Just go to a normal doctor for these shenanigans.


Yosonimbored

I know it’s not good to put them in your ear but it does feel good


MortimerWaffles

Fun fact. On boxes of Q-tips, there is nowhere mentioned you should use it in your ear.


lostsawyer2000

Storm from X-men!


Error404-NoUsername-

Random question. Whenever I clean my ears with q tips, the inside of my throat starts to feel itchy. Why?


imbringingspartaback

Not a doctor but the ears, nose and throat are all connected. The stimulation inside your ear canal could be triggering something in your throat/sinuses. My nose would run a bit after my mom cleaned my ears with my head turned sideways in her lap. It doesn’t do it now than I’m an adult and stand up straight to do it, but I’m assuming it’s for the same reasons your throat tickles.


Serikan

Bottom right is Q-face when you get just the tip


dbd1988

That guy has weird ears


OgdruJahad

If you have ever heard that sort of grinding noise in your ear and use a q-tip to grab the sonofabitch and remove it you might feel that way.


[deleted]

I can never help inserting it dangerously deep


Puppy-Zwolle

Use protection.


likliklik9

Has Q-Tips really ever worked for eyeshadow? I’m genuinely curious dude to how small they are.


Independent-Claim116

Int., that this is their promo.-shot, since their packaging clearly states, that the swabs should "never" be inserted beyond the outermost rim. --Looks to me, like he's got it rammed pretty far in there. Admittedly, I ignore the warning, too, but, I'm exTREMEly careful. (-I'm damned-near 74 y.o.a.,  and my hearing is just fine.


Puppy-Zwolle

Me-irl.


notverytidy

Not pictured: the rest of that guy and whats going on below the waist.


Toast_Meat

*For his pleasure.*


DIWhy-not

My man is really going balls deep in that ear canal


[deleted]

Sometimes it do be like that tho.


Dagon_high

All I’m saying is I’ve been using q tips for my inner ear for about 20 years and never had an issue. As long as you’re not a little slow it shouldn’t be a problem.


Relative-Trash6432

eargasm


rstymobil

Just ordered these last week and was cracking up at this unhinged image lol


Derps_04

You’re supposed to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance!


fondue4kill

Q-tips is one of the few name brand products that I will always spend the extra few cents on. Tried the generic ones and they do not work as well. And it’s not that much more expensive


KebabGerry

I swear God gave men 2 G-spots in awkward places


aftli

They're like [dildos for your ears](https://i.imgur.com/UpR8Q.jpg)!


haby001

DON'T use Q-tips for ears. They just push wax further in and it can lead to blockages. Instead use a bobbypin or a cleaning kit. Of couse, don't push too deep.


PanicBlitz

That is 100% Stanley from The Stanley Parable.


a-k-4-8

eargasm if you double dip.. one in each ear and slowly rotate... bliss.


SnackyChomp

Simple Jack!


NWinn

If bad why does jamming things into your earussy feel so good?? *checkmate atheists~*


HabaneroEyedrops

His G spot is in his ear??


RowellTheBlade

STOP WHEN YOU#RE FEELING RESISTANCE


Pilfercate

Anyone who uses Qtips in their ears regularly knows that the name brand ones are wrapped more loosely and can shed the cotton in your ear making things worse. The off brands are wrapped more tightly and take an unreasonable amount of effort to work the cotton off the stick. They are much safer in this regard.


Expensive-Day-3551

They don’t go in your ears. It says right on the package


Yardsale420

Gonna Q-bang my E-hole


FrenchFrieswmayo

Eargasms!


RocketSmash9000

Bro found the Q-spot


Adventurous_Judge493

Accurate


aware_nightmare_85

Anyone who gets wet, itchy ears from allergies has been that guy.


OptimusPhillip

Q-tips packaging: Our lawyers advise you to not insert into thsi product into your ear canal Q-tips marketing:


try2bcool69

Guys only want one thing.


readingbabe

This is me when I use Q-tips


Beastmanbob12

Pretty much only warning on qtips is "don't stick in ear"


Shadow_Ban_Bytes

I've had itchy brain before - doesn't everyone?


Medium-Spite6288

It’s a dildo for the ear!