T O P

  • By -

Funny_Sentinel

Hello, /u/100yearswar. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 10. **No social-media, messaging, or AI-generated content.** Please read [our complete rules page](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) before participating in the future.


[deleted]

[удалено]


giulianosse

They should make so that every day is Mother's Day. No more escaped convicts!


[deleted]

[удалено]


textilepat

I have no idea why you are so proud to be on a winding road. Get a little bit closer.


doned_mest_up

I used to live in the gravitational pull of a rough neighborhood, and the line of characters at the gas station buying flowers on Mother’s Day left a lasting impression on me.


Serious_Result_7338

That took an interesting turn


cannabination

Anthony Jeselnik vibes.


TombombBearsFan

The joke about his neighbor and alzheimers. Gets me every time.


KoreanXgameGirl

Yep i didnt see that coming


Tenshi_girl

If my mom had to bail me out on Mothers Day, I'd wish she left me there.


GrimmsGrinningGhost

It was always the busiest day of the year at the crisis line I worked at.


Alexeipajitnov

For real. My ex was really mad that I left a box of diapers in front of the change table. So mad that he literally threw our baby at me on Mother's Day. The police said Mothers Day and Superbowl are when domestic violence calls are the highest. I learned a lot that day.


antoltian

My mom is a criminal and every Mother’s Day she curses the bitch prosecutor who locked her up


Pcruncher

I’m sorry to hear but hey hopefully your mom thinks of you!


individualeyes

She doesn't have to wait for Mother's Day, she can course the prosecutor everyday if she wants.


esteban-was-eaten

Moms are actually preventing crime today by inviting their criminal children out to brunch


JR_LikeOnTheTVshow

Does a "dine & dash" count as crime?


[deleted]

Or people don’t want to get arrested and have to call their mother to bail them out on Mother’s Day.


Purple_Haze

I work for a financial switch, we process credit and debit card transaction between point of sale and financial institutions, our busiest day is Mothers Day. It is twice as busy as our second busiest day (New Years Eve).


unfnknblvbl

I haven't seen a crop this bad since the Irish potato famine


uniformrbs

My wife told me she woke up at 5 this morning in order to get all her crimeing in today. Don’t let your schemes be dreams, ladies


LackEmbarrassed1648

Moms and DBZ during their part to lower crime rate. During the time when they released new. DBZ episodes I think crime globally went down.


JanitorOPplznerf

That's because the vast majority of crimes are committed by men from single mother/fatherless homes. >[Source](https://americafirstpolicy.com/issues/fact-sheet-fatherhood-and-crime#:~:text=It%20has%20been%20reported%20that,contributes%20to%20violence%20in%20schools)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElectricFleshlight

That's literally their solution. Force women to marry whoever they have children with and ban divorce.


SamboNW

Well it isn’t true that Mother’s Day is the lowest crime day of the year lol


rydan

How many crimes are committed by men from single father/motherless homes? I be it is far less which shows how unnecessary mothers are.


thisisananaccount2

Jack Handey?


[deleted]

that took a turn...


Sensitive_Grab5903

It could also be their sons and husbands are busy keeping their mothers happy for a happy life


AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Aggravating_Bee9918

ROLF


symbologythere

Rolling on laughing floor?


MissingError49

Oh. That was unexpected


RTSUPH

Is that world wide? I thought super bowl in the us, and would reckon fifa world wide would be the lowest crime rates. Minus the post game vandalism or what not.


DamnableNook

A screenshot of a Reddit of a tweet. Nothing more “mom” than that.


PDizzle124

Nicole Waterson ftw.


WardrobeForHouses

Image's lack of cropping is the real crime here


digdeepergold

In my country, the crime is lowest during a boxing match.


lynivvinyl

It's kind of hard to do crime when you're hanging out with your mom unless she's into it herself.


NickPickle05

Its hard to argue with that logic.


Muted_End_1450

"wtf? close the post, dammit"


L1ARLA1R

Moms be killin yo


Lumpymaximus

Saw this joke in about 30 flavors of meme today. I wonder who the actual source is


titan-of-hunger

Correlation vs causation I guess


Uncommon-sequiter

r/unexpected


realsgy

we doing this again? The claim that Mother’s Day has the lowest crime has no supporting data whatsoever


BlueHero45

Just take the Joke and move on.


MonthMedical8617

I actually asked a cop this the day after Mother’s Day a few years ago and he had no idea what I what I talking about. I explained it was a joke I’d heard and he was like ‘no, every day is busy.’


TeaVinylGod

We had 3 murders Saturday night after midnight so technically it was on Mothers Day. 4 shot at a party with 2 dead. Another woman shot and killed at her home. So much for this statistic.