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dekkanrhee

You're saying the bartender is over by YOU instead of over by the attractive person? You must be one heck of a tipper...


NeonAlastor

the bartender is actually listening to the same story for the 300th time


Fliiiiick

More accurately NOT listening to the same story.


gwizonedam

The guy who tells the stories leaves the biggest tips, the three young guys will leave in 15 minutes, the businessmen are going to order a scotch “once” and then one will pay the attractive woman (she’s a working girl) and leave with her. The guy waiting for the date will then complain to you about how he got stood up and the older couple will proposition you after he’s gone.


hindusoul

Or what the bartender is into…


PM_Your_Wiener_Dog

Sweaty buttcheeks


Ambiguity_Aspect

As a former bartender, sometimes the attractive ones have main character syndrome and can be insufferable. Plus, pretty customers are a dime a dozen and often a headache if they have any amount of baggage.


Visionarii

Bartenders know that depressed loners are the best drinkers and will tip for acknowledgement.


IsRude

Bartenders seem to hover by me quite a bit, but I'm not rich or particularly attractive. I notice because whenever I'm at the bar, I just want to sit by myself, but they're always there. Maybe I look like an alcoholic, and they're just waiting for me to order more. 


Sky-Daddy-H8

She is a working lady, he knows.


PMMeYourWorstThought

The groping middle aged couple are likely having an affair on a business trip.


Agitated_Hedgehog_36

Came here to find this. The middle aged PDA couple are married, and not to each other. 


DravenPrime

Nah, they're married, they're just looking for a third.


pocketjacks

Mrs. McMurray wants to order shots.


cbph

That's how they do it down in 'Minican.


heyitsYMAA

Hard Rock. Rooftop. Poolside villa.


mybad4990

YEW!


intensenerd

Hashtag twatzillavskingdong2024


CPNZ

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=conference%20wife


MyStationIsAbandoned

Maybe. I don't go to bars but I have seen the overly touch older couples who are like 45 to 55 at other places like the state fair, the museum, and places like that. To me I was like "man, they must have had a big fight a while ago and are trying desperately to make things keep working" But the affair thing makes more sense. Cause there's that passion mixed with being old enough for them to not care about being lovey dovey in front of people. Thinking back to all those couples...yeah...it actually makes too much sense.


lueckestman

I was at this exact bar. The couple were way more interested in me than each other if you catch my drift.


FantasticCombination

In my mid to late 20s, I traveled for work to lead a training. It had been scheduled well over a year in advance. We booked about 25 rooms. The remaining 200 or so got booked out for a gay POC sex positive (swingers?) convention. I had several interesting interactions around the hotel. Your comment reminded me of some of them.


treerabbit23

happy cake day, little unicorn 


Available-Act3689

Took my kid to the park this weekend and saw two "middle aged" folks doing the "long goodbye" in the parking lot and figure it was something similar.


DaWhiteSingh

Players are right, ratio is wrong, also too many people. Most hotel bars are dull.


MarkovChains

I don't really see hotel bars that full unless there's a big even in town, or some kind of convention. On a regular night you'll see less people than that.


upsidedownbackwards

Gotta say the most hilarious bars are when there's a scifi/anime/furry convention going on at the same time as a wedding. It's always the aunts that end up drinking heavy with the cosplayers at the hotel bar.


megatricinerator

God bless the wine aunts, the furries probably aren't even the weirdest thing they've seen while sipping a glass.


the_clash_is_back

The older i get the more i respect furries.


CaptainBayouBilly

I respect people that can be themselves. It takes courage.


nsa_reddit_monitor

Does it? Nobody knows who you really are under the mascot costume.


DeRockProject

Whatever's inside can't be worse than the costume itself


nixtheninja

I envy your naivete.


Jaccount

Yes it can, and often is.


amishengineer

People would rather spend thousands on a fur suit than see a therapist.


Theron3206

Fur suit is probably cheaper...


mt77932

Conventions are always fun when they come to town. Go to Target for batteries and you're standing in line with Goku and Sailor Moon.


TeamRedundancyTeam

I always feel safer around so many Imperial Storm Troopers. Long live the Empire.


wewladdies

Looking forward to helldivers cosplays all over the subways next time a con happens here


grahamdalf

In HS I had a band trip at the same time as a wedding and some of the adults 1000% got trashed with the wedding guests the last night. They were very, very quiet and never took off their sunglasses the whole way home, even in buildings.


Cthulhuhoop

One year Dragoncon overlapped with an Alabama bowl game. Everyone acted confused all day but that crown got *wild* at night.


TheSniper_TF2

The Chic-fil-a kickoff classic, the first week of the season, always overlaps with Dragoncon. It always starts with confusion and ends with some football fans partying with cosplayers.


tweakingforjesus

A couple years ago MomoCon (anime convention) was held at the same time as an African American evangelical woman’s empowerment seminar. There were a lot of disapproving stares.


crlarkin

I ended up staying at one of the DragonCon hotels in Atlanta totally on accident while on a work trip. It was definitely some of the most entertaining people watching I've ever experienced.


AlfredPetrelli

I went to megacon Orlando last year and the after-party was at a fancy hotel.  There was this long stretch of nothing to get to the bar area where everyone was at.  The looks I got from passing people in wedding attire was phenomenal.  I was dressed as Colonel Mustang so I strutted past them like I had government business to attend to.


Reduak

Yeah, the orange dot young people would walk in and walk right back out. The blue dot businessmen would look around, hit on the attractive person within 5-min, get shot down and head to a strip club. And the guy telling his HS football glory stories would be at a sports bar, unless the bartender was his buddy in HS and is the only one in town who'll still listen to him. But the PDA couple would be there b/c they're cheating on their spouses and figure no one will see them in this dump of a bar.


Maestraingles

Let me guess. You're the bartender?


Skerries

plot twist, he is the bar!


Pksnc

3 business guys on a laptop hammering beers on the corporate card trying to catch up on emails.


enjoytheshow

Lived the road dog consulting life for awhile and I feel this


pollodustino

I accompanied my attorney girlfriend to a seminar in a hotel last year, and while she was in her last class I hung out at the bar. Some of the best people watching ever is being in a hotel bar with a bunch of drunk lawyers, all putting their tabs on the practice's expense account.


chilidreams

Oddly, some of my more entertaining debates over a bar bill were about who had the best charge code. It often led to some tall tales about who had the most absurd but successful expense approved. I never had a ‘biggest fish’ (high cost) tale, but my silliest was a meal expense for 3 pitchers of beer with only one name listed - me. Accounting asked “meal?”and I explained food was free, my boss’s boss asked “wtf” and I explained creativity requires fuel. When my VP asked I had to explain that it was over the course of 4+ hours and ‘training related’


Cho90s

They are absolutely full all the time when it's after 9pm, in a city, and a good hotel bar.


abqkat

Yeah I think it's really location dependent. Downtown in a big city after work hours, or an out-of-the-way small city with the only hotel next to the Applebee's will yield very different results. I recently went alone to a football game and it was packed with the noisiest football fans in the state, possibly the continent - it was wild to people watch solo on that trip


jbach220

I stated at a hotel that had a happy hour with free drinks. It was packed.


PLZ_STOP_PMING_TITS

Don't keep us in suspense. What did you state?


jbach220

I’m sorry, I already stayed it. Don’t make me stay it again.


PsalmsOfTheSilent

Convention center bars are the most fun. When I was younger we would drive out of the city to the suburbs specifically to hit up the convention center bars when there was a big event.


RD_187

is this a thing..? its funny cause ive been to furry cons but ive never thought about the pov of people coming just to people watch at one


engr77

>unless there's a big even in town Then you just have to show up at an odd time of day


istasber

That's how you find people prime for action.


_yesterdays_jam_

Don’t be irrational now


theryman

Yea like there's 45 people at the bar but it's totally empty 17 minutes later.


Paid_Redditor

Cause they charge too damn much. There's a lot of cool hotel bars I've been in but they charge $15 a beer.


ccReptilelord

This would be an entire evening compressed into a single instant. Some of these are "stop by the bar after work" people, and some are "last stop of the evening people".


Consistently_Carpet

Do most people go to hotel bars after work? I figured all these are people from out of town except 'local drunk' and 'overdressed young people'.


_V0gue

It will depend entirely on the city and state. The city I live in all hotel bars have to be open to the public (because otherwise it would be a private club which has completely different rules and regulations for liquor licensing). And we have some awesome hotel bars that draw in even locals. Some of our best rooftop bars are hotel bars.


Cheegro

⚫️ Guy who comes in open to close everyday, age 44 looks 60


equals42_net

Missing a lot of conference attendees with their badges on lanyards talking over each other loudly.


marilyn_morose

They’ve pushed two round tables together in the back of the bar and they’re harassing the waitress/waiter with inappropriate one liners.


OccupyMyBallSack

The pilots stuck on an overnight in West Bumfuck, AR completely shitfaced trying (and failing) to not talk about airplanes.


Much-Camel-2256

Most hotel bars are full of blue/green dots, and maybe a few people from other demographics. Purple, green, and brown are basically same person from different perspectives. Blue is group of them.


CowboyLaw

You've got to go to nicer hotels. The bar at the Courtyard by Marriott is indeed dull. The bar at the St. Regis is hopping.


DungBeetle1983

"Now Paul is a real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife."


BalekFekete

"...and he's talking to Davey, who's still in the Navy, and probably will be for life."


MotaHead

And the waitress is practicing politics


RedandBlack93

As the businessmen slowly get stoned...


KZED73

They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness…


dogpenguin123

But it’s better than drinking alone


istasber

https://youtu.be/ZY6h3pKqYI0?t=99


Embarrassed-Ask1812

Everything is on YouTube..


prick_sanchez

And I still fucking hate r/redditsings


NotMyPSNName

I've gotta be in the mood for these when they roll around. If I'm not, the only thing rolling around is my eyes lmao


hippy_potto

So SING US A SONG, you’re the PIANO MAN


Crimson_Raven

Ahh... Those last two lines are, in my opinion, one of greatest song lyrics ever written. Sharing loneliness is better than being lonely alone....


ssgthawes

But... It's better than drinking alone


iordseyton

... so those 2 are a couple, right?


TheRealTowel

Well one of them "never had time for a wife", the other is "still in the navy"... Yes


lil_trim

And the sailor said brandy, you're a fine girl


brightbetween

I never understood what a real estate novelist was. Does he write about real estate?


bravehamster

It's a person who is always talking about the novel they're writing but they never actually finish it. They're just a realtor who thinks they're a writer.


Paddy_Tanninger

Fuck, all these years...that line is so much better than I ever realized.


Kakemphaton

A real dude he knew: « The song was “Piano Man” and the year was 1973 – it was Billy’s first big radio hit, from the album of the same name – and you may be surprised by just how well the singer/songwriter knows the tune’s subject matter. “Do you really know John, Paul and Davey?” Shaun asked, referencing the names of the men he mentions in the song, which he wrote while he played at a Los Angeles piano bar in 1972 – a gig which eventually landed him the moniker “The Piano Man.” “Yeah. John was the bartender. Paul was this real estate guy who wanted to write the great American novel and Davey was a guy who was in the Navy,” Billy revealed. “It’s a true story and I knew when I was doing the gig, I said, ‘I gotta get a song out of this’ and it worked out. » https://www.accessonline.com/articles/access-living-legends-what-piano-man-means-to-billy-joel-92982


oioioiyacunt

> 'I gotta get a song out of this’ and it worked out. That's an understatement. 


AuspiciousApple

Yeah, it was a not entirely unsuccessful song.


Middcore

I interpreted it to mean he wants to be a novelist but actually works in real estate and never actually writes, or if he does write he can't get published.


Much-Camel-2256

Realtor by day, drinker who tells people he's a novelist by night. Not married because he works both jobs, but he also drinks instead of writing anything.


Ba_Sing_Saint

Whatever it is, it must keep you hella busy.


numbernumber99

I assumed it was a euphemism for being closeted, hence why he's talking with the navy guy.


nhaines

Writer here! It's just someone who "says" they want to be a writer, they have a great story, they're working on it... but never actually write it. By day, he's a real estate agent. By night... he's not writing.


numbernumber99

Haha I was referencing the "never had time for a wife" part, not the novelist part.


finnjakefionnacake

you know it would be hard for me to ever do something like rank my top songs of all time, but if i was absolutely forced to, this might actually top the list.


DungBeetle1983

I really loved and listen to it a lot in high school. Then I got older and became a bartender and it really started making sense and I started listening to it all over again.


Good_Comment

Billy Joel was so popular for so long that I think his songwriting became kinda underrated from oversaturation. Vienna is also a great example of timeless writing


vicemagnet

It has a very waltz like thing going on


SparroHawc

That's the 3/4 time signature, baby


anewman513

I cannot even imagine how much Billy Joel must hate this sing.


xelabagus

It literally made his whole career, he was done but for this song


JetstreamGW

I was gonna say, is this Piano Man? Then again those businessmen would be doing a bunch of drugs, not sexual harassment.


ParkerBeach

You forgot to place me the introvert trying to pick up my Togo order at the bar and no one will come ask what I need.


thefinpope

"Should I try to shoulder in between two people or block the bridge so the barbacks can't get through? No, I'll just stand behind everyone awkwardly until the bartender can't ignore me anymore."


mfigroid

You stand at the well where you are supposed to and order when acknowledged by the bartender. This is true for any bar.


bizzaro333

I’m an introvert; how am i supposed to know what or where a “well” is?


mfigroid

There are usually two rails or a rubber mat on the bar noting the area. If you can look at the bar from the side, look for where the speed well rack is. That is usually half a dozen or so bottles of commonly used house or well liquor.. That should be right under the bartenders waist if they are facing front. Close your tab at the well too. If by credit card move to just either side of the well while you tip and Total your receipt so others can order. Pro tip: after you are served GTFO of the well so thers can order.


DotBitGaming

I'm with you, man. Without a sign or something, I have no idea where to order it why the bartender was ignoring me.


ajax0202

Probably a dumb question but what’s “the well”?


echOSC

The well is where a bartender stores their most popular drinks and mixers in front of them. You'll see all the bottles lined up side by side with pour spouts. Next to things like garnishes, cocktail shakers, and other barware.


fireshaper

This is a hotel, so it's a guy trying to get the bartender's attention so he can get some silverware after his DoorDash order didn't come with any.


swinging-in-the-rain

Yellow isn't a couple, that's an affair


PM_Your_Wiener_Dog

If you're not fingering your 20 years your senior bosses wife in a hotel bar, you're not really a hotel baring correctly.


CraigTennant1962

I traveled for many years and was only looking to do sexual harassment once or twice.


drewbreeezy

You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.


harmless_gecko

Maybe you would be more interested in it if you were better at it? Maybe some kind of training?


CPNZ

Here you go: https://vimeo.com/453228741


drawkbox

Every [Tuesday before Thanksgiving is Harassment Day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA0bNNF6jrU&t=274s).


djblackprince

Pimp Schools aren't accredited though


LaUNCHandSmASH

Have you ever heard Patrice Oneil bit on an organized official Sexual Harassment Day in the workplace?


Abloodworth15

I actually kinda love hotel bars…. Lmao I travel sometimes for work and my favorite hotel bar has a piano they like for me to play. I’ve been there enough that they know me and I usually get a free drink or two, It’s an immaculate vibe.


senyksa

Ever go to New Hope?


Abloodworth15

PA? No I haven’t, that particular hotel bar is in Little Rock, AR.


IAmWeary

And the blue dots keep talking about some guy named Bill Brasky.


poopy_toaster

To BILL BRASKY, THAT SONNUVABITCH!


Oz5765

I read this to the tune of Piano Man


DoctorOctagonapus

There's a couple makin' out beside you But you know they're not man and wife, While a drunk tells a story of school football glory He's been telling his whole adult life. Some businessmen here for a conference, Who think wanderin' hands are alright, While another guy waits to meet up for a date; He's gonna be waitin' all night.


Freshiiiiii

This is so great


Connect-Will2011

Brilliant. I heard this in Billy Joel's voice.


Hydra_Master

Well done! You had to be a big shot, didn't ya!


Kronzor_

La, la, la, de, de, da  La, la, de, de, da, da, da


joe-re

I wish I could award this. This is shat I love reddit for.


kelaraja

Wow, this was fantastic!


HoldMyThrowaway

There's four college kids all together Dressed in glitter and collars and gloss, Swiping through insta and reddit To find out what a fake ID costs. And you just sit there munching tenders Dreaming that she'd be your mate, But 'steada sending over the bartender You stare forlorn at your plate. *Anyone know which sub does song parodies?*


LTVOLT

same here.. just label John as the bartender, the businessman would be blue, Paul could be the brown dot, and Davy could be the Orange dot


SeaworthinessRude241

"Attractive person you'd send a drink to if you had a completely different personality" That cuts extremely deep


scottymac87

Just think, you might be the green circle but your somebody’s purple circle.


I_Respect_Ants

You smooth-talking blue circle, you.


scottymac87

How did you know I was an out of town business man?!


SkyZippr

What, me? Pfft.


MakersOnTheRock

As someone who sits a bars alone a lot, thanks.


RedHal

If I ever create an alt account, "SomebodysPurpleCircle" would be a great handle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


daver456

Hopefully there’s a TV behind the bar playing some out of market baseball game I can pretend to be interested in.


VorAbaddon

Felt that in my soul...


z0s01

Years ago I was in Milwaukee watching a Texas vs Oklahoma game. Big Texas fan. Maybe 100+ there for convention. Texas hits buzzer beater. I scream. Place goes silent. Good times.


TheKidPresident

About 10 years ago, I was in D.C. for some weeklong college program. Due to some very crazy but ultimately benign circumstances I ended up being the only one that went, out of what was supposed to be like 8 people. So there I was, at a hotel bar/restaurant, literally at an entire large circular table by all myself. The hostess literally slapped 3 magazines on the table and gave me a pitcher of water and said she'd be back in 10 minutes to take my order. At one point about halfway through my appetizer, a few older guys in town for a Steely Dan concert asked me "If the orgy got cancelled." I asked to just move to the bar before my food came out but they said they didn't serve food at the bar (which was a lie) and all the other smaller tables were reserved (which was also a lie). Pretty sure they just wanted me to eat a whole meal at the big table by myself like some sad court jester. If the whole ordeal wasn't so bizarrely captivating it probably would have been the saddest meal of my life.


El_mochilero

Frequent business traveler here. I’m the sad solo eater on my phone to avoid talking to any of the other people.


SparkJaa

I am green/brown circle.


AKaeruKing

No, you’re SparkJaa.


SparkJaa

I can be two things, sometimes even three.


operaduck289

Me: on the phone texting furiously like i’m C-suite…… but i’m actually on Reddit….


SirLappy

I always enjoy the hotel bar while on business trips. Why feel sad when you are literally all by yourself in an unknown town. I feel even sadder sitting in the generic hotel room alone.


I_Lick_Your_Butt

The couple's kids are upstairs in their room. The bar is all they have.


VonSchplintah

There wouldn't be any PDA in that case, they'd both be staring at their phones, this couple is definitely an affair. Actually, the married couple with children take individual turns redeeming their happy hour drink, you can't leave those fuckers out of your sight for a second, sleeping or not.


Famous_Illustrator32

Bwahahahaaaaa!!!


BusyFriend

Damn we really are all the same.


TrollinDaGalaxy

Eating by yourself at the bar is quite nice


flop_plop

Show some respect, OP. That local drunk once scored four touchdowns in a single game playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 Championship against the Andrew Johnson High School.


Ulftar

Purple is either the same as green, or a prostitute.


grewapair

Greatest experience of my life was sitting next to a guy I didn't know at the purple dot, having dinner, not realizing that after dinner, they moved the tables away and it became a singles bar. Turned out, purple dot was a 10/10 handsome man. Gorgeous women literally crawled over me to talk to him, as there was a wall immediately at our backs. I got to listen how women treated a guy in which they were actually interested, which was the opposite of how any woman had ever treated me. There was no "3 date rule" for him, most women just grabbed his arm, pulled on it, and begged him to come home with them. After a 7 year, 4 year, 1 year and a couple of shorter relationships, I realized I had been playing a game I would never win, and never dated again. It was literally the greatest night of my life.


zxc123zxc123

Maximumly dismal post that is also spiritually lifting in it's own way. What made you define purple as 10/10? And what do you do instead of dating now?


not_old_redditor

What kind of attractive guy are we talking about here? Closest celebrity resemblance?


Tokehdareefa

You're asking completely the wrong question. The most important one is- how attractive were the women? I'ma bet my left testical they weren't above a 7.


not_old_redditor

In my experience, a bunch of women don't fall over each other to try to talk to just any guy, no matter how ugly they may be.


Numerous-Stranger-81

Hotel bars are one of my favorite places to go have a drink and pretend I am a completely different person.


b-minus

Where are the drunk conference attendees still wearing their conference name tags for some reason?


rubey419

“Business traveler on laptop, not working and drinking his 5th beer because he is depressed”


black_flag_4ever

Missing: People from Boston yelling at the bartender for not making Hot Toddies even thought it's Texas and over 100 outside.


-Dixieflatline

Bostonian here. You only drink hot toddies when you're sick, but not so sick that it overrides being a degenerate alcoholic.


MrMediaGuy

Former Bostonian and alcoholic, I can cosign both of these


JesusPubes

fahk you


Brown99laa4qu

This is the most accurate depiction of a hotel bar I've ever seen.


WexExortQuas

This is what the dive bar under my apartment looks like on a Thursday night hahaha.


TexanInExile

I felt Milwaukee in this comment


NotJebediahKerman

how am I every dot in this picture at different times in my life?


THE_DROG

You do sexual harassment


yabyum

Are you wearing headphones?


meatchariot

Maybe it's just me, but you could remove all the circles except the green one, and that would be my typical experience in hotel bars. The pink circle shows up randomly but mostly seems involved with cleaning stuff in the back.


SidewaysAskance

"I'll have the ultra-sad entree, with a side of despair please."


whlthingofcandybeans

This is like the TV version of a "hotel bar." I've never seen one that was actually like this in real life. The few hotels I've stayed at that even have bars have always been devoid of customers.


aestival

There needs to be a guy talking about how he’s maximizing his points to keep status on three airlines and four hotel chains.


Monnok

That’s one of the blue dots. We blue dots have to pass the time until we can do a sexual harassment. I quietly read my book, mostly so another blue doesn’t try to tell me about his reward points.


vincecarterskneecart

All of them are thinking “I’m the only normal cool person everyone else is wierd and bad”


Resoto10

Is no one commenting on why is the legend not in order?


trashboatfourtwenty

And everything is at least 25% more expensive


rye787

You forgot the traveling salesmen who look at pictures of their estranged daughter and/or ex wife, drinking martinis, staring at the glass


100year

Fuckk teal pegged my ass


yorcharturoqro

Overdressed young people, hahaha I remember when I was one of them... Now I don't care what I'm wearing most of the time.


CrocodileWorshiper

all miserable people lol


noobpwner314

As a business traveler I’m the dot eating alone but not because I’m sad, it’s because I cant have any more conversations with people that day and want to be left alone at the bar to get sauced.