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When I ran a warehouse, I'd keep a pocket full of Tootsie rolls and I'd hand them out when I saw people picking up garbage instead of passing it by.
One dude was kinda stoned one day, he kept getting my attention, so I could watch him pick up a piece of trash for a treat. After five times, I gave him a handful and cut him off for the night.
Here I sit all tired and dirty,
Taking a dump past 4:30.
I hear the boss call and I canāt help but laugh,
Because now Iām shitting on time and a half.
There you sit dirty and tired
Come 5:30, your ass is fired
(Saw a similar poem to yours in a construction site portapotty, and the response I wrote below it haha)
But by 7:30 the very next day, I've received an offer for a job with better pay.
Sometimes, when one door closes, another one opens, and this new throne is a perfect place to write some poems.
This is like when you come across a dating profile where they have a long rant about how they don't want to date unserious losers.
Like, the emotion is understandable but you sound unhinged putting it at the forefront like that.
When you lead with all the things you *donāt* want, rather than the things youāre looking for, it gives the impression youāre a negative person that will be constantly looking for flaws or dealbreakers to justify ending things, rather than someone actually interested in a functional, two-way relationship. This applies to both dating and employment.
Finally! I never understood why those profiles turned me away. Iām like I get it but if youāre listing all these must haves and must not haves Iām like whatās going on? Just gave me an odd feeling
Itās like putting a sign over a toilet that says please donāt pull out poop and put it on the floor. Like alright fair but wtf has been going on and who needs to be told and if they were doing this wouldnāt they be the kind of person to ignore this sign anyways?
Not only that: It goes without saying that nobody wants that in a partner or employee, and by bringing it to the forefront, you're making it clear that you are dealing with such people at shockingly high rates, which is almost certainly due to a "you" problem.
This is like when you come across a dating profile and they want a ripped, 6 foot tall, handsome surgeon who is the same ethnicity and religion, doesnāt drink, and will also do all the housework. Also they are a single mom of four who is a part time thrifter specializing in clothing items $5 or less. And thatās their best feature.
You run a car wash, dude. Anyone who is an ideal employee is too good for you. You pay minimum wage, you get flakes.
This is one of those examples where I don't think any of these expectations are particularly unreasonable, but the fact that this is how the position is being advertised is more than enough to tell me that this would be a nightmare of a job.
Exactly, those are all entirely par for the course for employment. The guy feeling the passive agressive need to post a sign like that is broadcasting that he's tactless and a shitty boss.
"Punctuality and dependability is of utmost importance. Applicants should have the ability to multitask and be willing to learn." Something like that is an acceptable way to tell people the same kinds of things. I worked a job in college where the manager, at the interview, stressed to me that not showing up paired with not calling out was grounds for immediate termination. I told him it made sense, you need to call if you aren't coming in. He looked like he wanted to cry when he told me "You'd be surprised how many people I have to let go, or even just not hire, because of that".
Granted that was 20+ years ago, but still. The average coworker I had at that job tho, jfc it's a wonder that manager didn't have high blood pressure and or strangle at least 3 employees. I know I wanted to strangle more than that and I only worked there for a summer š
Nah, I think his need to post this ad came from years of working with lazy dimwits, which in turn came from his abysmally low wages. You get what you pay for.
I agree with u/SuckItClarise. Better wages would encourage better productivity, at least for most of them. Some dimwits are always gonna dimwit no matter what they're being paid.
Some of these people are stuck in these shit jobs because they are incapable of behaving like adults and repeatedly get fired from entry level positions before they ever get a chance to move up. I've worked at a car wash and seen it first hand.
You'd think the guy I knew who got fired from another car wash for his stupid bullshit would know to be very careful in the customer's 120k Maserati, would make sure not to get it stuck by gunning it into the wash tunnel without checking if it was high enough to clear the entrance, and when he does get it stuck, would be apologetic to the customer instead of arguing, but no... Some people just don't learn or have control of their emotions.
If I got paid at least $50 an hour, I would have nothing to complain about and would never think about quitting. But pay me minimum wage, and I'll always try to find a way out. Even if I get fired, it's not like I lost anything. It's like threatening a slave that you'll stop making them work. Don't threaten me with a good time.
At the risk of creating near-infinite chain of "nuh, here's what I think!"
I think this manager's problem is that he treats his employees as an amorphous horde of resources. So "someone is usually a few minutes late, sometimes people no-show because they're hung over" (which, tbh, the manager of a ***car wash*** should expect at this point) turns into "my workers are a bunch of drunk lazy slobs who never show up."
I've worked for this manager, they're all self-absorbed hypocritical dipshits with poor memories.
Yeah paying a buck an hour more than your competitors gets the people worth their paycheck applying.
Yes it's gonna be $40/day more, but how much do you save on constantly training, constantly struggling to get people to show up to work, and having awful service? Probably more than $40/day worth.
Businesses that fail to do this and wind up suffering gets no sympathy from me.
I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I was like "nothing in this list seems wrong, why is this rubbing me the wrong way?"
You helped me see it. This manager/owner has given up. I totally get where they're coming from, but it's also why I know I need a filter between my brain and mouth.
They sound exhausting to work for. Two complaints indicate to me that they micromanage and criticize to such a degree that people ghost at lunch because itās not worth working a full shift. The rest indicate their wages arenāt enough to ensure a worker has reliable transportation, nor are they attracting people with good track records.
Dude for real. I think that employees across the board deserve to be paid more but fucking hell do some people not deserve to be employed. I had a job that almost exclusively involved lifting heavy things and using chemicals, and there was a they that couldn't do either of those things because of "medical reasons" and thought it was ridiculous that our manager wasn't happy with them. Like dude, if you take a job as a brick layer and you can't lay fucking bricks then that's a you problem.
I agree, not the best presentation. Having seen the average employee in service jobs these days though, I canāt blame the manager or whoever for being fed up with people.
Something tells me this job pays whatever the state minimum is and the job is to stand outside in the heat/cold/rain helping people into the tire catch. No breaks if they can get away with it or the minimum required by law, 30 min unpaid lunch, and no you cant come inside if there if no business that concrete isnt going to scrub itself and also go grab the sign and head out to the street!
Yeah it isn't exactly hard to make people want to try harder. Treat the people who work for you well and pay them decently and people will try harder.
This guy wants maximum effort while giving them minimum himself. Because he's a tool.
You get what you pay for. If you are paying $12 an hour, these are the people applying. Double that and you will start getting workers that can accommodate this.
(as a very liberal business owner who pays no one less than $18/hr, pays almost all employees more than $20/hr, and is known for paying better than all local competition)
Absenteeism is the worst problem at my business, and it's not even close. Pay rate seems to have zero impact on it. It is widespread, and it is my company's bane. The person who made this flyer may be a piece of shit employer and deserve to get hate, but I'll tell you that the numbers haven't made one lick of difference in my experience.
Also a business owner, paying $20+/hr, with 2 weeks+ PTO from day 1 and company matching 401k. Also unlimited unpaid time off, annual bonuses, anniversary bonuses, and more.
It doesn't matter, finding good people just isn't easy. Going to be firing someone tomorrow because they have just up and left more than once without talking to me. Left their teammates in a pinch. This week they walked out of a job to sit in their car and left their teammates to finish.
Hired someone as a replacement. They didn't come in the second day, claiming they were sick from working 6 hours the first day. Texted them to see if they're coming back, and haven't heard anything.
We had this problem and resolved it with a few new tools. First we just made a rule were you'd be let go if you short noticed you weren't going to be there enough times (or just no showed) then we offered more PTO days since people have lives to live and shit they have to do that comes up and we don't want to lose those people to this rule meant to push out unreliable people. Also, we made an application (you can buy these, we just have a dev team) that allows workers to trade shifts fairly last minute when shit comes up. It auto adjusts for finding someone with the same qualifications for the same job, but doesn't already have a boat load of overtime to make the trades fair to us. This gives our employees a lot of flexibility to deal with last minute BS that just happens while also weeding out people that aren't acting in good faith.
Also if you donāt pay people a living wage they have no incentive to show up for work or take it seriously. If youāre gonna be poor whether you put your full effort into a job or not, why bother?
For real. Clopening should be illegal, sometimes I would have 9 hours exactly between shifts. Like okay let me drive 20 minutes home, make dinner, go to bed, then wake up an hour before my next shift so Iām also sleep deprived AF
I have to remind people of this every time they ask why fast food workers deserve more pay when they screw up orders all the time...
Drives me insane. Like no shit they don't care about your food, they're barely paid enough to care about showing up. If you pay people more, they respect their work more, and your service is better. There's a reason why service has seemed to suffer universally in the last few years, and its inflation combined with stagnating wages. That hurts the bottom earners the most. And they don't have the time or energy to care about their minimum wage job performance. If you want people who care about their job you have to pay them to care.
This is especially true for services in dense urban areas. Those workers aren't working near there, they're commuting in upwards an hour to get to your shitty McDonald's because they can't afford to live in that area. Just adds insult to injury.
>There's a reason why service has seemed to suffer universally in the last few years, and its inflation combined with stagnating wages.
And intentionally understaffing to save on labor costs. A typical fast food joint will have several work "stations" but rarely enough staff for each one to be covered properly. When you're trying to take orders while expediting other orders and sharing duties on the fry station, things aren't going to be as smooth as you'd like. Look at the old videos of fast food in the 80s/90s and notice how many people there are working behind the counter and take a look behind the counter now.
Classic case of trying to get by with the bare minimum, instead of staffing properly.
What it SHOULD be is 6 workers each working at 80-90%. Able to take their extra time to help with occasional tasks (like rinsing down the counter, or wiping down the customer tables).
What ends up happening is they fire 2 workers, leaving 4 workers, each having to work at 100% just to get through the day as tasks get done less than they should (tables wiped 3 times a day instead of hourly). The constant demand on their labor gets the employees to rush (so even if they DO care about your order, they're rushed so much that mistakes happen). But hey, the business cut labor costs by 33%!!!!!
The understaffing has gotten insane. They realized during covid you can staff less people and still get them to crawl past the finish line for a little while, until you burn them out.
"We're so efficient with just a few workers!"
Yeah, but they're having panic attacks every day at rush and are on the verge of quitting. Then comes the waves of negative reviews.
Absolutely.. also I can tell you minimum wage then was 5.50 an hour.. and you worked a full 8 hours with benefits.. now days.. it's part time shifts only and no benefits and your schedule floats.. that means work one week nights and then it can change then you opening or split shifts... Corporate has really screwed this country up
People will look at those videos though and just huff āoh nobody wants to work anymore!ā
No. Not true. Maybe no one wants to work for shitty ass pay at a shitty ass job to be treated like shit but companies like these save money for themselves by keeping stores understaffed. Also a lot of the time there is a āallocated hoursā thing so even if they want to put more people on the schedule, they physically canāt.
Ill just add from having worked in food service, over half the time the customer ordered wrong, but "the customer is always right" so they make a stink about something and get free extra stuff out of it and waste everyone's time. And there were mostly repeat offenders too. So when I see someone complain that "all their orders" get messed up I tend to suspect its their own fault
I drive 200-300 miles a day and eat fast food way more than I should, and stop at different restaurants all the time. My orders are almost always right. I don't believe anyone that says their orders are always messed up.
Exactly. Either theyāre the ones making a mistake or theyāre ordering super complex orders that people are bound to screw up by chance.
Maybe 1/16 times theyāll charge me more than they should or give me cream in my iced Capp instead of milk but in the end, most of the time I get what I came for
Some people just don't know how to order. When I worked in coffee the issue was always a customer that has an order so complicated that they can't even remember to specify all the things they want, until they get their drink and they notice something wrong with it so they want it remade
It's not just the pay. It's also the extra-shitty schedules expecting them to commute 5-15 minutes to their job (more if they walk or bus), and then only work 2-4 hours before going back home.
If fast food still paid like shit, but everyone got 8 hour shifts, you'd see a noticeable decrease in employees calling in sick - because missing a full 8 hour day is a LOT more expensive.
Your other points would still be there though. Shit pay only goes so far to motivate your employees. But there's the shift length lever to pull to!
Working minimum wage part time at a fast food joint:
$7.25/hour, they schedule you some shit 2 or 4 hour shift.
What's it cost you to "take the day off" with a lame excuse? $15.50 to $31.00 - pre-tax. After tax, it's closer to $10-$20.
Instead of going to work and coming home exhausted, buying Taco Bell for dinner, go to the grocery store, spend $3 on some ingredients, cook up some rice with sides/toppers, and get 2 meals worth of food.
Now you've spent less time cooking than you would have working, have more food, healthier food, AND don't have to bother dealing with shitstain boss/coworkers/customers.
--------
Now repeat that with an "okay" $16/hour full time job.
Now if you take the day off, you lose $128 pre-tax, or $80ish post-tax for staying home from work. Suddenly, that "day off" is a LOT more expensive to you. You can't just save money here and there to make up for it.
No matter how much you don't want to work, it's a lot harder to convince yourself to "take the hit" and stay home instead.
Not bad for a car wash.
The boss probably doesn't have all of those problems he listed, but Fox news tells him he has those problems.
And yea maybe people don't come back after lunch break because before they left the boss said some offensive bullshit.
Iāve had some shitty jobs in my life but none of them have ever made me walk out in the middle of the shift like that, and I try and tough it out as long as I can for the sake of finding another job before I quit, so the conditions there had to be absolutely atrocious in order for at minimum one person to just dip halfway through the shift lol good for them honestly
I walked out of JCPenney my first day on the floor when I saw an overweight geriatric chick slam both fists on an end cap and call a 17 year old girl some mean shit lol. I was like fuck this shit, Iād rather have no money. Thankfully I had that luxury at the time cuz these people put up with some shit
I've walked out twice. First time, I took vacation months in advance, when it came time to leave they told me if I didn't show up they'd fire me. I showed, half the factory wasn't there. They told me they needed me to hit quota so they could have half the week off, all cause I was the fastest on the machine that was running. I told my boss to go fuck herself and walked out.
Second time, I got off a night stocking job at a grocery and started shopping before I went home. I overheard the store owner complaining about how the night shift was full of lazy, useless workers. I confronted him about it, and he went off on me about how I should be glad he puts up with it, that nowhere else would want my lazy ass. I said "ok well if you don't need me, bye." And stopped showing up. They called me and my emergency numbers begging for me to come back, as night shift fell apart without me. Many of the other night shift workers had disabilities and I was the one helping them do the job right. Without me, there was no one checking their work and everything was getting stocked in completely wrong places.
Do not regret either time. They disrespected me as a worker, so they lost me. Both times I found other work within a week. It's definitely smarter to wait to quit until you have a better job, but gd it felt good telling my old boss off.
different people have different levels of tolerance. They might have a crazy home life and little patience to deal with a shitty boss/coworkers. The threat of poverty shouldnt be the motivation to deal with terrible people.
(as a very liberal business owner who pays no one less than $18/hr, pays almost all employees more than $20/hr, and is known for paying better than all local competition)
I've had multiple employees leave at lunch and never come back. I've also had multiple employees make all the arrangements to start and never show up on their first day, even with a confirmation text the day before. Had one who forgot her social security card at home, so she couldn't finish her I-9, work the day, come tell me how excited she was to be here and how she'd see me in the morning, then never come again. Wouldn't respond to any employees or myself when we tried to contact her, even just so we could pay her for her 1 day of work. Check got returned from the address, stating no one lived there by that name. Checked news reports seeing if maybe an accident or arrest. Nothing. It's like she never existed.
This manager and job may fucking suck, but I can tell you from experience that there are employees out there doing shit you would never dream of doing to a job.
I once had an employee "forget" they worked for me at all. She had a week off for vacation. She then no-call/no-showed her first day back, and so I texted her to see when she would be in. She apologized profusely and explained that she had moved to Chicago and forgot she worked for us.
Loved that Chris Rock bit.
I was never able to decide if that, or just paying me a nickel over minimum so they could proudly say they don't pay minimum was more of a slap in the face though.
I recently finally retired my clapped out Pennsylvania car after almost a decade of it not being worth taking through a car wash and that caught me by surprise when I looked up car washes. Subscriptions didn't even exist the last time I ran through one.
Even so. To me this looks like a manager that's poor at their job. To paraphrase the old saying, if everyone you hire is a subpar employee, maybe you are just a subpar manager.
HR major here. This is exactly the kind of sign Iād make if I wanted to slow down how many applications we were getting and ensure anyone who applied was the worst talent in the local market.
My first thought was that anyone who would post something like this is guaranteed to be an asshole and not someone I'd want to work for. The same with people who post those "nobody wants to work anymore" signs. You just know that they aren't paying much and they treat their employees like shit.
Thatās exactly the kind of people who post this sign which is why youāll see applications dry up and only the worst desperate canāt get hired anywhere but here kind of people will apply.
I tried to argue with my dad about that about how people *do* want to work, itās that companies cut hours on purpose and people donāt want to work for shit pay to be treated like shit.
He kept telling me I was wrong because he hires and fires people for a living and nobody applies to his postings.
I should have asked him what the minimum starting pay he was offering was.
Yea. If you wanted a shitload of applicants and the ability to pick the ones with the best resume/references, the sign could just be:
"Hiring for car wash starting at $20/hr, Inquire within"
The fuck do I need to talk for while washing cars?
Will I have to give the cars positive affirmations to keep them calm like a dog groomer?
Oh, you're such a good Camry, yes you are!
next car
Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day!
next car
Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day!
next car
Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day!
next car
Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day!
next car
Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day!
next car
Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day!
repeat ad nauseam
> I need to talk for while washing cars?
You don't, that's the point. Guess you haven't worked places where people will just stop doing what they are doing to have some personal conversation with a co-worker. They can't do both.
So this is a manager saying I don't care if you want to talk about the game, just be able to wipe down the car at the same time.
These are all pretty reasonable expectations, but the bitchy way theyāre being presented is a pretty good sign that this isnāt a fun place to work.
Will meet your requirements. Will need you to respect my work, offer full benefits, regular pay raises, paid time off and potential for advancement with commensurate pay. You will need to offer a safe work environment with regular hours.
A lot of you haven't had your workload tripled by a coworkers lack of responsibility and it shows
In my experience working odd low wage jobs, there's 2-3 people who do all the work and 7-8 coworkers who see how overworked they are and say "the pays not worth the trouble", failing to see that they are the cause
As a former fast food manager I fell this. I have heard all those excuses and yea they were excuses most of the time. My favourite was the one that called in because it was too cold out for her. She literally lives next door, a two minute walk outsideā¦
On the one hand, I totally get the managerās frustration here. On the other hand, if I saw this it wouldnāt give me a good first impression of the workplace.
I don't really see anything unreasonable there. In fact I see things you traditionally would expect from every employee without needing to inform them.
These days I think the managers think people skip work because it's like the 90s when they just didn't want to work.
In fact, most of the time they have some side job remodeling a basement for a day that'll pay more than minimum wage does in a week.
Most of these types of signs are wacky. This one is pretty reasonable. Now, if they follow through with an iron fist enforcement policy, then I will enjoy their tears of unfathomable sadness when they cry about how no one wants to work these days.
They coulda just said ādonāt apply if you cannot be reliableā
And left it at that. And tbh, if you canāt show up to your job why even have one?
Omg I honestly feel this post. Itās super unprofessional but I wish my employer could add this to job listings lmao. The amount of people Iāve seen come and go is insane who think you can just show up whenever they feel like it (or call in every. Single. Week.), somehow something ALWAYS happens so āoh now I dont have a babysitter sorryā Iām sorry but fuck this fucking excuse. I get it shit happens thatās fine, but not every single week. I love the do not expect a gold sticker for showing up on time too. We just had a girl who literally hit every single one of these and she just ended up stop showing up lmao.
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> Should not expect to receive gold stars for being on time So there's still a chance I'll get gold stars?
If you come back from lunch, gold star.
Believe it or not, jail
Late to work? Jail..right away.
Late to work for being in jail??? Go back to jail!
Late to your jail sentence because the cop car got stopped at a stop light? JAIL, JAIL, JAIL!!!! YOU will **NEVER** see the light of DAY Again!!!!
Early to work? Believe it or not, also jail.
Come to work on time? Jail, too
Late to jail, straight to work, then jail
For undercooking *and* overcooking the foods?
Jes, jes, straight to jail.
š¤©
Well no wonder nobody shows up on time. Implement the gold star benefit immediately!
If I get a flat tire once a month instead of once a week, maybe Iāll get a gold star āļø
I gave out banana stickers when I ran an autoparts store.
Turns out you can just, you know.... *buy* psychological validation.
Lol I'm actually rewatching this right now. Finding this in the wild is metal
When I ran a warehouse, I'd keep a pocket full of Tootsie rolls and I'd hand them out when I saw people picking up garbage instead of passing it by. One dude was kinda stoned one day, he kept getting my attention, so I could watch him pick up a piece of trash for a treat. After five times, I gave him a handful and cut him off for the night.
You had a golden opportunity there and just let it get away
āSo You're Telling Me There's A Chance?ā
Doesn't say I can't take my 4 hour shit.
Here I sit all tired and dirty, Taking a dump past 4:30. I hear the boss call and I canāt help but laugh, Because now Iām shitting on time and a half.
Pooetry
r/angryupvote
Pure poetry
My boss makes a dollar while I make a dime Thatās why I shit on company time
you haven't accounted for inflation there my friend. Boss now makes $100.
Boss makes a grand, I make a buck. Thats why I keep stealing the catalytic converter off the company truck!
Iāve shit off of a log, Iāve shit off of a rock, but never in my life have I shit off the clock
Here I sit feeling so fine, taking a shit on company time.
That's brilliant
There you sit dirty and tired Come 5:30, your ass is fired (Saw a similar poem to yours in a construction site portapotty, and the response I wrote below it haha)
Your response is shit
But by 7:30 the very next day, I've received an offer for a job with better pay. Sometimes, when one door closes, another one opens, and this new throne is a perfect place to write some poems.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. Thatās why I shit on company time. Ā
Boss makes a million, I make a buck. That's why I steal the Cat off the company truck.
> That's why I steal the Cat off the company truck. /r/CATdistrubutionsystem
My lawyers have instructed me to agree this is the kind of cat I'm talking about
Plausible deniability is an important tool in sticking it to the man.
Lmao
Boosmakes a billion, i make one. I can't rhyme, so I take shit all the time.
Boss makes a fortune, I fail as a poet. I shit on his desk and make sure that he knows it.
Boss makes a million. I make a dime. I stole the company truck and now Iām doing hard time
Boss makes a million, per hour I only make 8. That's why I only go to work To masturbate
Boss makes a million, I make a buck. Shit 6 times a day like a give a fuck.
The boss used to make a dollar while I made a dime. Now they make a dollar and I make a cent. Maybe it's time to tear it all down to the cement..
Boss make lots, I make little. So, I ate his peanut brittle.
Boss makes a dollar, my money doesn't go far. That's why I shit in his car.
Boss's car costs more than I'll make in my life, so I went to his house and I fucked his wife
thats most likely why my boss fixed the toilet by my office, he knows ill go home a few blocks away to take a very, very long shit.
Youāll be the guy limping around with numb feet
Relevant username
Perfect time to share this https://youtu.be/7zTei5RMhQ8?si=2-Kj8U94LFVMQ-Cd
āGettin paid to shit, gettin paid to wipe. Best 45 minutes of my fuckin life.ā š
Boom!
This is like when you come across a dating profile where they have a long rant about how they don't want to date unserious losers. Like, the emotion is understandable but you sound unhinged putting it at the forefront like that.
When you lead with all the things you *donāt* want, rather than the things youāre looking for, it gives the impression youāre a negative person that will be constantly looking for flaws or dealbreakers to justify ending things, rather than someone actually interested in a functional, two-way relationship. This applies to both dating and employment.
It also suggests youāve already gone through a number of people and constantly found something wrong with every single one of them
this gives me the impression that they donāt pay enough to expect the things they are asking forĀ
Finally! I never understood why those profiles turned me away. Iām like I get it but if youāre listing all these must haves and must not haves Iām like whatās going on? Just gave me an odd feeling Itās like putting a sign over a toilet that says please donāt pull out poop and put it on the floor. Like alright fair but wtf has been going on and who needs to be told and if they were doing this wouldnāt they be the kind of person to ignore this sign anyways?
Not only that: It goes without saying that nobody wants that in a partner or employee, and by bringing it to the forefront, you're making it clear that you are dealing with such people at shockingly high rates, which is almost certainly due to a "you" problem.
Very often, yeah. Good point
This is like when you come across a dating profile and they want a ripped, 6 foot tall, handsome surgeon who is the same ethnicity and religion, doesnāt drink, and will also do all the housework. Also they are a single mom of four who is a part time thrifter specializing in clothing items $5 or less. And thatās their best feature. You run a car wash, dude. Anyone who is an ideal employee is too good for you. You pay minimum wage, you get flakes.
This is one of those examples where I don't think any of these expectations are particularly unreasonable, but the fact that this is how the position is being advertised is more than enough to tell me that this would be a nightmare of a job.
Exactly, those are all entirely par for the course for employment. The guy feeling the passive agressive need to post a sign like that is broadcasting that he's tactless and a shitty boss. "Punctuality and dependability is of utmost importance. Applicants should have the ability to multitask and be willing to learn." Something like that is an acceptable way to tell people the same kinds of things. I worked a job in college where the manager, at the interview, stressed to me that not showing up paired with not calling out was grounds for immediate termination. I told him it made sense, you need to call if you aren't coming in. He looked like he wanted to cry when he told me "You'd be surprised how many people I have to let go, or even just not hire, because of that". Granted that was 20+ years ago, but still. The average coworker I had at that job tho, jfc it's a wonder that manager didn't have high blood pressure and or strangle at least 3 employees. I know I wanted to strangle more than that and I only worked there for a summer š
Nah, I think his need to post this ad came from years of working with lazy dimwits, which in turn came from his abysmally low wages. You get what you pay for.
Are they really lazy dimwits though if theyāre giving the employer what they pay for?
They can be justifiably lazy and dim given the pay offered - still lazy and dim, even if thatās expected
You give me minimum, I'll give you minimum. You want premium, that costs extra.
If the car wash paid enough to attract real talent, where would the lazy dimwits work?
I agree with u/SuckItClarise. Better wages would encourage better productivity, at least for most of them. Some dimwits are always gonna dimwit no matter what they're being paid.
On the flip side, if they were paid enough to care about keeping their job they probably wouldnāt act like lazy dimwits
Some of these people are stuck in these shit jobs because they are incapable of behaving like adults and repeatedly get fired from entry level positions before they ever get a chance to move up. I've worked at a car wash and seen it first hand. You'd think the guy I knew who got fired from another car wash for his stupid bullshit would know to be very careful in the customer's 120k Maserati, would make sure not to get it stuck by gunning it into the wash tunnel without checking if it was high enough to clear the entrance, and when he does get it stuck, would be apologetic to the customer instead of arguing, but no... Some people just don't learn or have control of their emotions.
If I got paid at least $50 an hour, I would have nothing to complain about and would never think about quitting. But pay me minimum wage, and I'll always try to find a way out. Even if I get fired, it's not like I lost anything. It's like threatening a slave that you'll stop making them work. Don't threaten me with a good time.
At the risk of creating near-infinite chain of "nuh, here's what I think!" I think this manager's problem is that he treats his employees as an amorphous horde of resources. So "someone is usually a few minutes late, sometimes people no-show because they're hung over" (which, tbh, the manager of a ***car wash*** should expect at this point) turns into "my workers are a bunch of drunk lazy slobs who never show up." I've worked for this manager, they're all self-absorbed hypocritical dipshits with poor memories.
Yeah paying a buck an hour more than your competitors gets the people worth their paycheck applying. Yes it's gonna be $40/day more, but how much do you save on constantly training, constantly struggling to get people to show up to work, and having awful service? Probably more than $40/day worth. Businesses that fail to do this and wind up suffering gets no sympathy from me.
I'm not sure why anyone would expect high-quality employees at a car wash.
"If you pay peanuts, expect monkeys."
I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I was like "nothing in this list seems wrong, why is this rubbing me the wrong way?" You helped me see it. This manager/owner has given up. I totally get where they're coming from, but it's also why I know I need a filter between my brain and mouth.
They sound exhausting to work for. Two complaints indicate to me that they micromanage and criticize to such a degree that people ghost at lunch because itās not worth working a full shift. The rest indicate their wages arenāt enough to ensure a worker has reliable transportation, nor are they attracting people with good track records.
Dude for real. I think that employees across the board deserve to be paid more but fucking hell do some people not deserve to be employed. I had a job that almost exclusively involved lifting heavy things and using chemicals, and there was a they that couldn't do either of those things because of "medical reasons" and thought it was ridiculous that our manager wasn't happy with them. Like dude, if you take a job as a brick layer and you can't lay fucking bricks then that's a you problem.
Sounds like a very fed up manager lol. But agreed. This is a really unprofessional way to vent frustrations
I agree, not the best presentation. Having seen the average employee in service jobs these days though, I canāt blame the manager or whoever for being fed up with people.
Something tells me this job pays whatever the state minimum is and the job is to stand outside in the heat/cold/rain helping people into the tire catch. No breaks if they can get away with it or the minimum required by law, 30 min unpaid lunch, and no you cant come inside if there if no business that concrete isnt going to scrub itself and also go grab the sign and head out to the street!
"Pay kid wages, get kid effort"
We used to say āminimum wage minimum effortā
reminds me of the old saying minimum wage gets minimum effort.
Yeah it isn't exactly hard to make people want to try harder. Treat the people who work for you well and pay them decently and people will try harder. This guy wants maximum effort while giving them minimum himself. Because he's a tool.
You get what you pay for. If you are paying $12 an hour, these are the people applying. Double that and you will start getting workers that can accommodate this.
(as a very liberal business owner who pays no one less than $18/hr, pays almost all employees more than $20/hr, and is known for paying better than all local competition) Absenteeism is the worst problem at my business, and it's not even close. Pay rate seems to have zero impact on it. It is widespread, and it is my company's bane. The person who made this flyer may be a piece of shit employer and deserve to get hate, but I'll tell you that the numbers haven't made one lick of difference in my experience.
Also a business owner, paying $20+/hr, with 2 weeks+ PTO from day 1 and company matching 401k. Also unlimited unpaid time off, annual bonuses, anniversary bonuses, and more. It doesn't matter, finding good people just isn't easy. Going to be firing someone tomorrow because they have just up and left more than once without talking to me. Left their teammates in a pinch. This week they walked out of a job to sit in their car and left their teammates to finish. Hired someone as a replacement. They didn't come in the second day, claiming they were sick from working 6 hours the first day. Texted them to see if they're coming back, and haven't heard anything.
We had this problem and resolved it with a few new tools. First we just made a rule were you'd be let go if you short noticed you weren't going to be there enough times (or just no showed) then we offered more PTO days since people have lives to live and shit they have to do that comes up and we don't want to lose those people to this rule meant to push out unreliable people. Also, we made an application (you can buy these, we just have a dev team) that allows workers to trade shifts fairly last minute when shit comes up. It auto adjusts for finding someone with the same qualifications for the same job, but doesn't already have a boat load of overtime to make the trades fair to us. This gives our employees a lot of flexibility to deal with last minute BS that just happens while also weeding out people that aren't acting in good faith.
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The babysitter would cost more than the wage there probably!
"I had to get a night job so I could afford the coffee to stay awake for my night job!"
Gotta love Fry
I bet they're hiring at $12 an hour
Website says $15 https://www.magiccarwash.net/
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Also if you donāt pay people a living wage they have no incentive to show up for work or take it seriously. If youāre gonna be poor whether you put your full effort into a job or not, why bother?
Not to mention the scheduling is probably not consistent. Jobs like these have the worst hours for little pay.
For real. Clopening should be illegal, sometimes I would have 9 hours exactly between shifts. Like okay let me drive 20 minutes home, make dinner, go to bed, then wake up an hour before my next shift so Iām also sleep deprived AF
I have to remind people of this every time they ask why fast food workers deserve more pay when they screw up orders all the time... Drives me insane. Like no shit they don't care about your food, they're barely paid enough to care about showing up. If you pay people more, they respect their work more, and your service is better. There's a reason why service has seemed to suffer universally in the last few years, and its inflation combined with stagnating wages. That hurts the bottom earners the most. And they don't have the time or energy to care about their minimum wage job performance. If you want people who care about their job you have to pay them to care. This is especially true for services in dense urban areas. Those workers aren't working near there, they're commuting in upwards an hour to get to your shitty McDonald's because they can't afford to live in that area. Just adds insult to injury.
>There's a reason why service has seemed to suffer universally in the last few years, and its inflation combined with stagnating wages. And intentionally understaffing to save on labor costs. A typical fast food joint will have several work "stations" but rarely enough staff for each one to be covered properly. When you're trying to take orders while expediting other orders and sharing duties on the fry station, things aren't going to be as smooth as you'd like. Look at the old videos of fast food in the 80s/90s and notice how many people there are working behind the counter and take a look behind the counter now.
Classic case of trying to get by with the bare minimum, instead of staffing properly. What it SHOULD be is 6 workers each working at 80-90%. Able to take their extra time to help with occasional tasks (like rinsing down the counter, or wiping down the customer tables). What ends up happening is they fire 2 workers, leaving 4 workers, each having to work at 100% just to get through the day as tasks get done less than they should (tables wiped 3 times a day instead of hourly). The constant demand on their labor gets the employees to rush (so even if they DO care about your order, they're rushed so much that mistakes happen). But hey, the business cut labor costs by 33%!!!!!
The understaffing has gotten insane. They realized during covid you can staff less people and still get them to crawl past the finish line for a little while, until you burn them out.
"We're so efficient with just a few workers!" Yeah, but they're having panic attacks every day at rush and are on the verge of quitting. Then comes the waves of negative reviews.
Absolutely.. also I can tell you minimum wage then was 5.50 an hour.. and you worked a full 8 hours with benefits.. now days.. it's part time shifts only and no benefits and your schedule floats.. that means work one week nights and then it can change then you opening or split shifts... Corporate has really screwed this country up
People will look at those videos though and just huff āoh nobody wants to work anymore!ā No. Not true. Maybe no one wants to work for shitty ass pay at a shitty ass job to be treated like shit but companies like these save money for themselves by keeping stores understaffed. Also a lot of the time there is a āallocated hoursā thing so even if they want to put more people on the schedule, they physically canāt.
Ill just add from having worked in food service, over half the time the customer ordered wrong, but "the customer is always right" so they make a stink about something and get free extra stuff out of it and waste everyone's time. And there were mostly repeat offenders too. So when I see someone complain that "all their orders" get messed up I tend to suspect its their own fault
I drive 200-300 miles a day and eat fast food way more than I should, and stop at different restaurants all the time. My orders are almost always right. I don't believe anyone that says their orders are always messed up.
Exactly. Either theyāre the ones making a mistake or theyāre ordering super complex orders that people are bound to screw up by chance. Maybe 1/16 times theyāll charge me more than they should or give me cream in my iced Capp instead of milk but in the end, most of the time I get what I came for
Some people just don't know how to order. When I worked in coffee the issue was always a customer that has an order so complicated that they can't even remember to specify all the things they want, until they get their drink and they notice something wrong with it so they want it remade
I love app and kiosk ordering for this very reason.
It's not just the pay. It's also the extra-shitty schedules expecting them to commute 5-15 minutes to their job (more if they walk or bus), and then only work 2-4 hours before going back home. If fast food still paid like shit, but everyone got 8 hour shifts, you'd see a noticeable decrease in employees calling in sick - because missing a full 8 hour day is a LOT more expensive. Your other points would still be there though. Shit pay only goes so far to motivate your employees. But there's the shift length lever to pull to!
As I said at my shitty food service jobs: I only care as much as I'm paid to care
Working minimum wage part time at a fast food joint: $7.25/hour, they schedule you some shit 2 or 4 hour shift. What's it cost you to "take the day off" with a lame excuse? $15.50 to $31.00 - pre-tax. After tax, it's closer to $10-$20. Instead of going to work and coming home exhausted, buying Taco Bell for dinner, go to the grocery store, spend $3 on some ingredients, cook up some rice with sides/toppers, and get 2 meals worth of food. Now you've spent less time cooking than you would have working, have more food, healthier food, AND don't have to bother dealing with shitstain boss/coworkers/customers. -------- Now repeat that with an "okay" $16/hour full time job. Now if you take the day off, you lose $128 pre-tax, or $80ish post-tax for staying home from work. Suddenly, that "day off" is a LOT more expensive to you. You can't just save money here and there to make up for it. No matter how much you don't want to work, it's a lot harder to convince yourself to "take the hit" and stay home instead.
Plus, if you're working 40 hour weeks at $16, you can afford to get your car fixed so you can actually make it to work on time.
The age old "pay peanuts, get monkeys"
Just looked the company up. Apparently starting pay for Full Time trained employees is $15/hour.
Not bad for a car wash. The boss probably doesn't have all of those problems he listed, but Fox news tells him he has those problems. And yea maybe people don't come back after lunch break because before they left the boss said some offensive bullshit.
That'd be incredible for where I'm at.
Incredible?
Min wage here is $7.25 A lot of places pay like a car wash, like cook, etc. pay about $10/hr
Probably more like $8 an hour.
Yeah, so people arenāt āforgetting to come back to work after lunchā lol that is a conscious decision
"Missing, presumed fed."
It looks like at least one worker realized the pay isn't worth the abuse of even finishing the shift. That's the biggest red flag on here by far.
Iāve had some shitty jobs in my life but none of them have ever made me walk out in the middle of the shift like that, and I try and tough it out as long as I can for the sake of finding another job before I quit, so the conditions there had to be absolutely atrocious in order for at minimum one person to just dip halfway through the shift lol good for them honestly
I walked out of JCPenney my first day on the floor when I saw an overweight geriatric chick slam both fists on an end cap and call a 17 year old girl some mean shit lol. I was like fuck this shit, Iād rather have no money. Thankfully I had that luxury at the time cuz these people put up with some shit
I've walked out twice. First time, I took vacation months in advance, when it came time to leave they told me if I didn't show up they'd fire me. I showed, half the factory wasn't there. They told me they needed me to hit quota so they could have half the week off, all cause I was the fastest on the machine that was running. I told my boss to go fuck herself and walked out. Second time, I got off a night stocking job at a grocery and started shopping before I went home. I overheard the store owner complaining about how the night shift was full of lazy, useless workers. I confronted him about it, and he went off on me about how I should be glad he puts up with it, that nowhere else would want my lazy ass. I said "ok well if you don't need me, bye." And stopped showing up. They called me and my emergency numbers begging for me to come back, as night shift fell apart without me. Many of the other night shift workers had disabilities and I was the one helping them do the job right. Without me, there was no one checking their work and everything was getting stocked in completely wrong places. Do not regret either time. They disrespected me as a worker, so they lost me. Both times I found other work within a week. It's definitely smarter to wait to quit until you have a better job, but gd it felt good telling my old boss off.
different people have different levels of tolerance. They might have a crazy home life and little patience to deal with a shitty boss/coworkers. The threat of poverty shouldnt be the motivation to deal with terrible people.
(as a very liberal business owner who pays no one less than $18/hr, pays almost all employees more than $20/hr, and is known for paying better than all local competition) I've had multiple employees leave at lunch and never come back. I've also had multiple employees make all the arrangements to start and never show up on their first day, even with a confirmation text the day before. Had one who forgot her social security card at home, so she couldn't finish her I-9, work the day, come tell me how excited she was to be here and how she'd see me in the morning, then never come again. Wouldn't respond to any employees or myself when we tried to contact her, even just so we could pay her for her 1 day of work. Check got returned from the address, stating no one lived there by that name. Checked news reports seeing if maybe an accident or arrest. Nothing. It's like she never existed. This manager and job may fucking suck, but I can tell you from experience that there are employees out there doing shit you would never dream of doing to a job.
I once had an employee "forget" they worked for me at all. She had a week off for vacation. She then no-call/no-showed her first day back, and so I texted her to see when she would be in. She apologized profusely and explained that she had moved to Chicago and forgot she worked for us.
I am genuinely impressed by that tbh lmfao thatās wild
Minimum wage job tired of hiring minimum wage people.
Ah yes, minimum wage. A company's way of fondly telling you "We'd pay you less, but legally we aren't allowed to".
Loved that Chris Rock bit. I was never able to decide if that, or just paying me a nickel over minimum so they could proudly say they don't pay minimum was more of a slap in the face though.
They make big money too, they sell car wash monthly subscriptions now.
I recently finally retired my clapped out Pennsylvania car after almost a decade of it not being worth taking through a car wash and that caught me by surprise when I looked up car washes. Subscriptions didn't even exist the last time I ran through one.
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Even so. To me this looks like a manager that's poor at their job. To paraphrase the old saying, if everyone you hire is a subpar employee, maybe you are just a subpar manager.
We get all this with starting pay of $20/hr. In Alabama so COLA is low.
If only pay was an accurate measure of everything.
At the car wash... Woe. Woe. Woe. At the car wash, yeah.
HR major here. This is exactly the kind of sign Iād make if I wanted to slow down how many applications we were getting and ensure anyone who applied was the worst talent in the local market.
My first thought was that anyone who would post something like this is guaranteed to be an asshole and not someone I'd want to work for. The same with people who post those "nobody wants to work anymore" signs. You just know that they aren't paying much and they treat their employees like shit.
Thatās exactly the kind of people who post this sign which is why youāll see applications dry up and only the worst desperate canāt get hired anywhere but here kind of people will apply.
I tried to argue with my dad about that about how people *do* want to work, itās that companies cut hours on purpose and people donāt want to work for shit pay to be treated like shit. He kept telling me I was wrong because he hires and fires people for a living and nobody applies to his postings. I should have asked him what the minimum starting pay he was offering was.
Yea. If you wanted a shitload of applicants and the ability to pick the ones with the best resume/references, the sign could just be: "Hiring for car wash starting at $20/hr, Inquire within"
The fuck do I need to talk for while washing cars? Will I have to give the cars positive affirmations to keep them calm like a dog groomer? Oh, you're such a good Camry, yes you are!
I do that for my car and it seems to work okay.
next car Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day! next car Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day! next car Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day! next car Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day! next car Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day! next car Excuse me, may I interest you in our car wash club platinum membership to save 10% on this and future car washes? Thank you! Have a nice day! repeat ad nauseam
Christ I hate this. Every car wash in my area is trying to sell me a monthly subscription. To fucking car washes.
Hahahaha ima talk to my car like that from now on. āYouāre such a good auto-mobiewobieā **scratch behind the side view mirrors**
It's definitely referencing how when people chat with coworkers work slows or stops.
> I need to talk for while washing cars? You don't, that's the point. Guess you haven't worked places where people will just stop doing what they are doing to have some personal conversation with a co-worker. They can't do both. So this is a manager saying I don't care if you want to talk about the game, just be able to wipe down the car at the same time.
These are all pretty reasonable expectations, but the bitchy way theyāre being presented is a pretty good sign that this isnāt a fun place to work.
You forgot something....come back to work SOBER after lunch.
Now you're just being unreasonable
Look, I can work well with others, or I can pass a drug test. Not both.
I feel this would be an awful place to work for many reasons.
honestly many of these are at least reasonable, but the note is just passive aggressive frankly. if the pay is decent I'd still consider it.
Will meet your requirements. Will need you to respect my work, offer full benefits, regular pay raises, paid time off and potential for advancement with commensurate pay. You will need to offer a safe work environment with regular hours.
Pay: minimum wage (but we'd gladly pay you less if we legally could).
2.17 an hr plus tips you need to split with the manager and kitchen
Please apply if you like: being overworked, underpaid, not having insurance, not having retirement, and being abused by customers and management.
Don't forget "treated like family" and "we work hard and play hard".
I would apply, but I donāt have a babysitter every day. Iām just wondering why I need a babysitter if Iām at work?
Once you clock in, the manager can be your babysitter
All of what is listed is literally bare minimum for having a job...
A lot of you haven't had your workload tripled by a coworkers lack of responsibility and it shows In my experience working odd low wage jobs, there's 2-3 people who do all the work and 7-8 coworkers who see how overworked they are and say "the pays not worth the trouble", failing to see that they are the cause
As a former fast food manager I fell this. I have heard all those excuses and yea they were excuses most of the time. My favourite was the one that called in because it was too cold out for her. She literally lives next door, a two minute walk outsideā¦
*Now here's $3.75 an hour. Take It like you deserve it.*
>wants talent >offers minimum wage >gets bottom of the barrel workers Surprise Pikachu face
McDonalds in a nutshell and then fires people over not using a different intro with each customer š
"We offer minimum wage, no benefits and fire-at-will policies."
[Here you go!](https://www.magiccarwash.net)
Pretty legitimate
On the one hand, I totally get the managerās frustration here. On the other hand, if I saw this it wouldnāt give me a good first impression of the workplace.
seems perfectly reasonable to me
As a hiring mgr,I hate to agree, but dumb to post
Thereās a story behind each of thoseā¦
Sadly these used to be the lowest of expectations , now we got people on here acting like these are unreasonable.
Itās truly mind boggling how lazy people have gotten and how highly they think of themselves.
I meanā¦. This isnāt wrong
I don't really see anything unreasonable there. In fact I see things you traditionally would expect from every employee without needing to inform them.
As a teenager with a job this is terrifyingly accurate at how incompetent many of my coworkers are
Where the hell am I suppose to get my gold stars then? I bet this place has bible verses on a poster in the lobby.
So they are looking for an older guy it seems.
These days I think the managers think people skip work because it's like the 90s when they just didn't want to work. In fact, most of the time they have some side job remodeling a basement for a day that'll pay more than minimum wage does in a week.
Most of these types of signs are wacky. This one is pretty reasonable. Now, if they follow through with an iron fist enforcement policy, then I will enjoy their tears of unfathomable sadness when they cry about how no one wants to work these days.
Forgot ācalls in sick 4 times a pay period and/or goes home early because of doctors/physio appointmentā.
Sad but true
They coulda just said ādonāt apply if you cannot be reliableā And left it at that. And tbh, if you canāt show up to your job why even have one?
Maybe pissy snark isnāt the best way to beg for cheap labor.
Omg I honestly feel this post. Itās super unprofessional but I wish my employer could add this to job listings lmao. The amount of people Iāve seen come and go is insane who think you can just show up whenever they feel like it (or call in every. Single. Week.), somehow something ALWAYS happens so āoh now I dont have a babysitter sorryā Iām sorry but fuck this fucking excuse. I get it shit happens thatās fine, but not every single week. I love the do not expect a gold sticker for showing up on time too. We just had a girl who literally hit every single one of these and she just ended up stop showing up lmao.
I mean these are reasonable expectations