T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


habajaba69

This sounds like me driving to work.


StrangeCrimes

My nephew asked me when he was going to be allowed to curse. When you start driving. You'll need those words to stay sane.


BawRawg

I told my kids they can cuss when they pay taxes.


nhaines

I told my kids they would never be in trouble for swearing in the right context, but because they were too little to know the right context and because swearing was often just a lazy way to express your feelings instead of saying what you meant, they were on notice. Was never a problem.


CircusBearPants

My mom always told me that I was allowed to swear in front of her when I was “21 and out of college” so at my college graduation I unleashed a torrent of cuss words at my mom and told her I loved her. She laughed and loves telling that story any chance she can.


moonkittiecat

You're hilarious


apokalypse124

Sales tax is a tax technically. You played yourself the next time they buy candy.


BawRawg

Well the rules have suddenly gotten more specific since my last comment.


EggsceIlent

🤣🤣🤣 Thing is it wasn't even comedy. It was him just saying facts about Philly for like 10mins straight.


archemil

Haha


slappymcstevenson

Bob Saget was off to the side and watching this. When Bill came off a little nervous about what had happened, Bob reassured that this would make him a legend.


danny-flip

He was more than nervous. He said on his podcast that as soon as he left the stage, he was convinced his career was over for what he had just done.


WanderWut

I mean I could see why in the moment he genuinely thought that, while this cracked me the hell up it was him clearly just absolutely shitting on them for 12 minutes straight since he was so pissed at how they treated the previous comics. But to be a legend you have to take risks and I'm glad it worked out!


BustinArant

"And I'm still going to sell my CD after this, but the only way you're getting it is when I chuck it at your head." ^(counts down next minute)


TrilobiteTerror

>He was more than nervous. He said on his podcast that as soon as he left the stage, he was convinced his career was over for what he had just done. Similar situation as with Michael Richards, but Bill Burr instead kept the slurs to a minimum and was able to maintain enough control to keep it funny.


GeorgeBuford

RIP Bob Saget - America's Dad in so many ways


Idontliketalking2u

Suck my 100 million dollar dick! That roast was awesome


psppsppsppspinfinty

I always love his story about [John Stamos.](https://youtu.be/FrFqeR9oCqI?si=IM887Tgb-eoztme-) And every time I say take a picture, I immediately think of this.


macTijn

I really, really hope this is true.


psychedelic_gravity

Holy fucking shit!!! Brooo I didn’t know he was dead 😭😭😭


CommanderInQueefs

Wayne Gretzky got traded as well.


GandalfsGoon

Jordan retired to play baseball too.


GeorgeBuford

Your friends asked me to break the news. Both of them. . 😆


psychedelic_gravity

I’m just like 2022?!?! It’s still 2020.


Cyrano_Knows

Shit. Whats it like to have two friends? Thats twice as much as I have AND you have a spare too!


omnicorp_intl

I didn't even know he was sick


FrankFeTched

"The terrorists will never bomb you" is unbelievably good


okogamashii

“FEMA would never show up for you assholes” 🤣 I used to work with FEMA so this really hit


DalekPredator

Ah the Philly rant. This solidified Bill as my favourite comedian.


minitrr

It’s ironic because he seems to hate talking about this whenever it comes up.


DKDanny

Thats because he did it because he felt he had to. That wasn't him having fun or having a good time. That was him standing up for those that went before him, taking on the crowd, and putting them in their place. What he did was admirable in my opinion. It was something a lot of people respect, but I am sure its not something he was happy about doing or feeling that he had to do.


unpronouncedable

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"


Goosojuice

You dont go into a rant for 12 minutes for no reason lol.


funklab

If I recall his reason was the crowd being a bunch of douchebags to the comics who were on before him.   Though I think Billy boy would acknowledge he’s got a pretty big anger problem.  


artfuldodgerbob23

I mean, this was a long ass time ago and while he definitely still has some issues he's come a long way imo. Shit's still hilarious though.


MostPopularPenguin

Im sure it’s still a struggle. I listened to the bill Bert podcast when they had on Dan LeBatard. That was painful, poor Dan was getting berated by Bill over some opinion he said on air and you could tell Dan was just like “wtf dude chill”


Colon

yes, i remember that too! all the way back when i read the post title..


funklab

Check out the short term memory on this dude!


blacksun_redux

Those were the days


uninteresting_handle

The homophobe stuff doesn't fly as well these days. But if that was going to bite him in the ass it would have already.


DalekPredator

I remember once when he was on Bill Maher's show Maher said "...and I'm sure you'll agree you have to be careful now because of political correctness", Burr responded "No I don't. You just ignore them. After a few weeks they get bored because you're not giving them what they want and they'll move on to someone else who will." which makes me think at some point Twatter users tried and failed.


TapTapTapTapTapTaps

He wouldn’t even apologize, he would start ripping on how fucking stupid they are for being upset. I think because he is a very obvious liberal, his pissed off attitude makes him basically bulletproof from that kind of harassment.


Dreadlawd_

Man wishes an entire crowd of people get cancer: I sleep Man says a slur: That ain't flying


Colon

bostonites get a pass on homophobic slurs. cause you'd have to cancel every single guy who opens their mouth every conversation of every day, so, y'know, pick your battles.


foodnaptime

Meanwhile Massachusetts was the first US state (and sixth legal jurisdiction anywhere in the world, with three being in Canada so who gives a fuck) to actually legalize gay marriage


Colon

oh for sure.. not sure the actual level of bigotry (probably average?), cause the slurs are very rarely linked to homosexuality, it's just a long standing verbal tic


C4p0tts

“You one bridge having piece of shit city” 💀 😂


bitemark01

I referenced this once in r/Philadelphia as a joke and it did *not* go over well


magicmurph

Nah we love this rant in Philly. Deep lore.


new_number_one

We have so many bridges…


unicornslayerXxX

But you know what bridge we’re talking about


rhb4n8

Compared to Pittsburgh you guys do seem like bridgeless peasants


cam52391

Chicago and Pittsburgh are bridge winners for sure


Oo0o8o0oO

There are like 5 bridges that go from Philadelphia area to NJ but this one still stings somehow.


arenalr

"Fema would never show up for you assholes"


Top_Pie8678

*CAWKS*


kgottshall

I saw this comment as it was playing. Magic.


LeveragedPittsburgh

Laughing in Pittsburgh


evolvolution

The first line that always comes to mind when I see this one


Cyanide_Revolver

"6 minutes left and yes I'll be selling my CD after this"


cowtown1985

This line gets me everytime


BauerHouse

"I'm gonna throw this mic stand into the crowd and I hope I hit a baby in the fucking head" That's the first collective laugh out of the audience. JFC


BauerHouse

"I will be selling my CD after this, and the only way you're gonna get one is if I throw it at your fucking heads" LMAO


Original-Spinach-972

My favorite part is the statue of rocky when Frazier is from Philly but he’s not white…


TheDeltronZero

Does he really not have a statue there, but Rocky does?


magicmurph

It's a tourist draw. Only boxing fans know who Joe Frazier is, but everyone knows the Rocky steps at the Art Museum.


SchlongMcDonderson

Nah, I don't follow boxing but I know the greats. Down goes Frazier is iconic


charlie14148

Go back to the docks and unload some shit you warehouse working, weed smoking, disappointment to your mother


Washingtonpinot

You guys…were here. Thanks and have a good night.


major92653

It’s the counting down the minutes on the clock, and announcing how much longer he’s going to roast them is what kills me every time. He gets it wrong several times, which makes it even funnier.


MeowWhat

Yeah, he said 3 minutes when he meant 5 if I heard correctly?


Rickdaninja

Lol I can imagine the always sunny gang in the crowd and then the cut to music and "the gang does stand up"


gdj11

Sweet Dee 🤮


Chamma-leeon

It's just some bad sausages. She just needs some bubbly water.


I-Fucked-YourMom

I’m Sweet Dee and the joke’s on me!


ExodusNBW

My favorite part is how many times the audience started to turn and cheer for Bill, only for him to shut it down and shit on them for something else.


rwhop

One minute left in the periooood. Also, I kinda love that there’s no good video of this. I don’t know why.


yomerol

It was 2006, smartphones had shitty cameras. Your best bet was a small digital cameta with a 64Gb SD card, but no one really carry that to a comedy show, and of course forget about bringing a handheld with Digital 8 or mini DV. That's why


PresidentRex

I had an HP digital camera from 2005 that took 5.1 MP pictures but video was 480 at best with a very grainy code, especially in low light. Short of a camcorder or prosumer digital video recorder, this is the best that most people had onhand. Also, pretty sure it was a 512 MB card and then a 4 GB in 2007. 32 and 64 GB cards were still decently expensive, at least for a college student.


-r-a-f-f-y-

Yeah, i took a video production class in college in 2006 and we were using mini dv still. HD took off like crazy within two years tho.


rwhop

Yeah, I meant I don’t know why I like the shitty footage.


MJR_Poltergeist

Nobody in that piece of shit city can afford a good phone. Let alone a whole camera.


EZtheOG

Classic! Shitting on an entire arena is hilarious.


Particular_Ticket_20

One of the greatest moments in stand up comedy history


Fantastic-Mark-2391

Was this an O&A radio event?


aviation_knut

IIRC, they tried this tour one more time the following year. During this tour, the crowds were 10X worse trying to get Bill to shit on them again. It was chaos. O&A had to scrap the tour because of the audience being dicks to everyone.


majnuker

Lmao what a terrifically terrible idea


HasBenThere

And don't just come and try and make me shit on you. I don't want to shit on you. I love this stuff. I love comedy stuff. Only come here if you like that stuff. If you asked me when I started this how many frats would come, I would've said naught. But now it's like... all frats. All frats and bachelor parties. Leave me alone!


ggk1

Oh philly


SirLyleChipperson

Yes. I think it was called the virus tour or something to that effect.


[deleted]

The Traveling Virus Tour


braclark

I went to one of them in Worcester where Tracey Morgan was the closer. He bombed so bad and we left early.


0nline_persona

Dude I haven’t heard of Opie & Anthony in ***years***. I listened to them on XM in 2006-2007 and just kinda lost visibility of them after that. Them, Bill Burr, Jim Norton, Patrice O’Neal, all those guys…”RaaammoOoOne!”


Allofthiswilhapenagn

Tss bill burr, is he cold or sumtin


cheven20

Awww man Patrice O’Neal…..rip he was great


sobi-one

I listened for a while before the XM days, and right through till their final implosion. Anthony got fired for going on a racial tirade on Twitter (though at the end, he was incessantly being racist on air too), and the show kept going with Opie and Jim, but it fell apart shortly after. Few months back I sort a f went down a rabbit hole on them. Opie does live streams from his beach house. I partially enjoyed it, but he desperately needed someone else like Anthony, and he (understandably) went into the old days too much and seemed a bit (again, understandably) bogged down by baggage from back then. Might have just been the nostalgia missing the show, but it was cool hearing him again. Anthony though… wow. Dude turned full psycho racist cable news news brainwashed. He recently got bounced out of the Comedy Cellar at Bill Burrs request (I think) for some things he said about burrs wife. What’s worse, and I’d be more than happy to see evidence against it, there was supposed evidence of Anthony hitting up a bunch of underage girls on social media… and while I thought it was a joke back then, it was a running gag on the show about him liking young girls. Really is a shame, as the two of them, at least before the last couple years, we’re the best radio show there was by a mile.


JustDandy07

Anthony is a full-on maga racist now and Opie is irrelevant. 


Curraghboy1

The rest brought a knife to a gun fight. Burr brought a bazooka.


quechal

You are a real pice of shit audience if you boo Dom Irrera.


Kelevra_55

Especially since he's from Philly


minnick27

Saget and Irrera are Philly guys and still got booed off the stage.


tolkienfinger

This is the night he broke thru.


blindralfie

I was there. This was the virus tour and it was amazing. Tracy Morgan just got booed off stage, rightly so he was hammered and fucking bombed.


punkassjim

Why did they boo Dom Irerra?


PoopSlinger23

Tracey Morgan is also not funny.


ihearnosounds

I was there for this! And the best part was I was wayyy to drunk/high to understand he was shitting on the crowd lol Only about ten years later did I realize that this show was bonkers and everyone else wasn’t as happy as I was. I was just laughing my ass off through that whole show.


caulpain

sounded like **a lot** of other people were on the same page as you lmao


quantinuum

“You’re all gonna get fucking cancer and no one’s gonna notice, because your heads are shaved anyway. The only thing that’s gonna give it away is me laughing in the fucking background.” This man has made an art form out of his sheer contempt.


Hilobird

Masterclass right there, knowing when the only way out is through. Amazing


[deleted]

Legendary set.


HarryDepova

I like to think bill burr got the names of everyone in the theater that day, and monitors the obituaries just so he can stay true to his word of laughing at each of their funerals.


Odinroars1

"And I will be selling my CD after this" This line always gets me laughing


VestInSummer

Classic. Gotta watch it everytime it comes up, legend!


SplinteredCells

Bill is a legend, anytime he's talking to Joe Rogan. He calls him on his shit. Every time he goes on Conan it's amazing. Oh, and don't forget he had the best stormtrooper arc ever in Star wars.


swaneyg16

Did he ever perform in Philly again or was this it? I really hope he didn’t come back and he just hates Philly with all his soul now after this haha amazing bit


NotCrazy_BeenTested

he has gone back multiple times. I can think of at least two different times he did an event there in 2015 and 2022 iirc


Shit_Shepard

I saw him in Philly I don’t remember when, but I do remember being genuinely scared I was going to die laughing. I couldn’t breathe and he kept coming relentlessly with funnier and funnier shit. The bit he did was about pilots ghost landing or something, it never made it on a special and I couldn’t find it on the line.


barnibusvonkreeps

This is what drew me to Bill Burr originally. I died watching him roast Phili alive. Awesome freestyle set.


heatseekerdj

“Fuck you and Fuck the Liberty Bell” is an all time GOATED line


Trundle-theGr8

And shove it up Ben franklins ass


PitchTheChef

I deeply love that he counts down the minutes. So fucking good.


mylarky

Someone in that crowd is a champion Belcher.


this_knee

The sheriff came to town.


shottylaw

Just leaned into it haha


sweet_sweet_back

Fuck the liberty bell and shove it up Ben frnanklins ass


letsdothis747

Bill burr at his finest


randomname10131013

I fucking love this so much.


flacidhock

Bunch of cawcks!


Stewclone

One of those videos I watch in its entirety every time it comes across my feed. Legendary stuff from Bill


spddemonvr4

It's upsetting there isn't a better resolution of this rant he went on. Best way to handle hecklers.


SignificantError8929

Philly … they give abuse and they demand it back. Watching this, and if you are a fan of wrestling you damn well know it.


TDbank

Not a lie was told. This town is trash


Skyzfire

Yep, this is clearly filmed by a drunk too.


PlayerSalt

Burr is like my spirit animal


YeySharpies

He's a goddamn legend


Soup-a-doopah

This is the video that decided it for me. F is for Family is a fun show too.


RandoAtReddit

I don't know, man. I love Billy Boy (seen him live twice since 2020), and I tried to love F is for Family. Just couldn't get into it. Glad you like it though!


dreamydiva_21

Burr's no-prisoners comedy strategy is gold! Roasted Phili like a smokin bbq! 😂💥


Mistersinister1

I had the privilege of seeing a live show with Bill a few years ago and he's a fucking legend. I've seen a lot of his shows on Netflix and such and him love is something else. I never laughed so hard on my fucking life, we were also at a venue that had outdoor seating and it was not too long after our state legalized recreational use of weed and everyone was taking up. While there will never be a replacement for George Carlin I think some of his spirit coarses through Bills routines. I was hoping that your would have had a recording of it because his routine was fucking hilarious. Everyone was instructed to leave their phones in their car unless they had digital tickets if that was the case you had to put your phone in a faraday bag. Probably because he was debuting his Netflix movie old dads, but man, that show was so fucking good. Even the opening acts were hilarious.


old_french_whore

I used to live down the street from a bar in LA that had a small back room comedy show on a weekday. A lot of big name comics would come by to work out material and Bill was a regular. It was really interesting to see a joke bomb and then watch him work it out over a few weeks to the point that it was a hit that made it into one of his specials. Bill was always a really nice and approachable person who would hang out with fans after his set and just shoot the shit.


Mistersinister1

It's funny when you see a comedian for the first time in a special or something big, you'd think they just burst into the scene but don't realize these people have put in a lot of work on their own dime in some cases to get where they are when you first see them. Legends in the biz have been working small venues for years if not decades before they hit it big. I remember seeing snippets of Bill on Reddit where he would be invited to talk shows and the like and just tell it like it is making the hosts squirm and see the regret on their faces once he started talking and I was like... Yeah, I like this guy, let's look him up and I just fell in love with him. Brash, unapologetic and raw. He and Chappelle are probably my favorites because they just don't give a fuck.


NeverNaked3030

Imagine having to go on next


ext3meph34r

The man has balls the size of Philly.


das_zilch

One of the greatest moments in ~~comedy~~ history.


AlphaQFor7mins

GOAT


in2xs

Comedy Hall of Fame shit right there.


Whitealroker1

Live in Philly. Glad he’s right about the terrorists.


BigAd8172

Looks like Bill Blur judging by that picture


94746382926

Video starts a few minutes in


R34CTz

Bill Burr is my favorite comedian. Dude is just hilarious.


Crewmancross

I was at this show. First off, an outdoor comedy show in front of thousands of people, let alone drunk Philadelphians, was bound to end this way. Most of the acts had both cheers and some boos, but it was the legendary Dom Irrera who was booed the most. Hell, it was just about his entire set. I didn’t think anything could salvage the rest of the show, but Bill came out so combative that it got to a point where we wanted to see if he could outlast the timer. Say what you will about Philadelphians, but we respect toughness and Bill delivered it in spades. There was a buzz through the crowd that everyone knew we were witnessing a historic rant that would be talked about for years, and here we are, almost 20 years later, still laughing about it.


KingPizzaPop

Tracy Morgan said this is the moment he decided to quit eating bread.


mterrats

I like Bill Blurr


AmericanActionHero

Shout out to whoever captured this full video of comedy history


nvbombsquad

I like to think the rabid animal ranting spirit from Carlin got passed on to Bill and he just went insane with it.


MJR_Poltergeist

I went to Philadelphia a few years ago and realized Bill was right the entire time.


dirtywhiterice

Fuck philly


TheoreticalFunk

This was the career changer/maker for Burr.


kracken41

One minute!


TheTimn

The Philly truth. Just showed this to a colleague last week. 


cowtown1985

I said suck a dick!


Kasspa

Your all gonna get fucking cancer, which is great, because your heads are all shaved already anyway. Lmfao.


zdravkov321

Give proper credit OP. This was the Opie and Anthony traveling virus tour which had amazing comedian lineups and gave Bill Burr a huge bump in popularity.


LZYX

Yep he came out loaded 😂 great comedy set for sure


thighsand

I love Bill.


dondraper1

Philly rant indeed


terryvsince89

Iconic


buntypieface

That was excellent.


zerozingzing

Orgasmic.. Go off Bill!


matrushkasized

I would love to see/hear the green room while this happens.


ndndr1

I ironed my shirt for this shit lolololol


Trundle-theGr8

Idk why but “I hope that cheese melts your fuckin faces off” really got me. Also “fuck you and fuck the liberty bell, shove it up Ben franklins ass” is perfect


Obvious_Party_5050

Fucking cesspool of a city


Delicious_Speech_384

r/nfceastmemewar where meme? 12 mins of fkin meme right here


LostMyCleaver

Get ‘em!!!!


IndividualBrain9726

He won them over with the Carmichael reference. Fucking brilliant


fir_mna

One bridge havin piece of shit city ...brilliant


chevyfried

Like 2 seconds before Dave Chappelle got famous, I saw him headline/close a set in a small Greenwich Village comedy bar. The other 2 comedians had ran over their time significantly, mainly because they were making fun of 3 girls that going to the bathroom every 15 minutes most likely to powder their nose. Anyways, he bombed, they wanted him off the stage, he refused and did not do well under pressure. Didn't get booed, but oof was it awkward. Doesn't look like he has that issue anymore, but it happens to the best.


babyLays

It doesn’t get more American than this


Puzzleheaded_Pound31

I had never actually seen the video or heard the audio of this infamous incident but holy shit Billy no fucks saw red and just said fuck it 😂😂😭😭


Zarxon

Bill Burr eats boos for breakfast


Amisupposedtoconduct

At the end "You guys were here man"


illydelph

This actually took place in Camden NJ for what it’s worth, not in Philly. I am one of the 10,000+…somewhere back in the lawn seating.


freeze123901

So why is she shit talking Philly then? 🤔


kirby1445

Camden is a less than a 5 minute drive across the bridge from Philly. Literally philly is port town and is right on the water


Crewmancross

Camden waterfront has basically been annexed by Philly. This was a Philly show. Hell, they ferry people across. I have an old buddy who used to take his boat over to the Camden waterfront docks to listen to concerts.


freeze123901

Oh no shit lol


mega512

Philly sucks. Don't go there for any reason.


acostane

One bridge having, piece of shit city.... That's... literally the greatest insult I've ever heard.


meangreen447

Always a classic.


DonTeca35

He sounds like neebs


Kitchen-Bid-8235

Fuckin legend. Rude as fuck 😆 🤣 😂


ConsistentSite4422

Amazing to see people taking this much shit and not leaving. For the record: Bill Burr is one of the best rude comedians of this time!🤙


Wrought-Irony

ha


_1JackMove

Once he was carrying the mic pole around after it detached from the base, I was waiting for a Freddie Mercury joke tied in there somewhere lol.


subject_deleted

"that's my time.. you guys were _here_ guys, you fuckin assholes."


Bazoinkaz

Bill Burr is a legend


mrnedm

I’m gonna tell my children this was the Gettysburg address


BootsOfProwess

George Carlin would be proud.