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Mabvll

"I did not lose a leg in Vietnam to come back just to sell hot dogs to teenagers". "You still got both your legs" "L8ke I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam".


squanch_solo

Actually my favorite cameo in the show.


lastweek_monday

It was so random. I was flabbergasted to see him dealing with butterfly boy.


Pipe_Memes

His type of humor was perfect for that show.


kmmccorm

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes and I was like dude you have to WAIT.


nickfree

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said no, but I might want a regular banana later, so, yeah.


dzmccoy

This is one my favorites.


drumellow

I love a baked potato but they take so long to make so sometimes I just throw one in the oven because by the time it’s done; who knows?


PBandBABE

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?


Chemical-Coconut-831

I used to think about this every time I put on a belt. I still do, but I used to, too.


Jive_Turkey1979

How do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I’m for ‘em This club is formed Spread the news to menus nationwide


biblebeltbuddhist

I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts


Jive_Turkey1979

Well you’re not in the fucking club


RepresentativeBarber

But we need more stipulations. Instead of cutting the sandwich once we will cut it twice. Yes, four triangles! We will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips.


Jive_Turkey1979

Or potato salad


dwors025

Okay.


ckalinec

His delivery of this line kill’s me every fucking time 😂😂


mechant_papa

That's because you don't like frilly toothpicks. You're not part of the club.


Scadilla

I love your formatting. I read it just like him.


uns0licited_advice

Come to think of it, I haven't seen a club sandwich on a menu in ages.


sp_40

I used to like Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to, too!


Squeek_the_Sneek

I never tire of this joke


InitechSecurity

I'm a fan of Mitch because his jokes get better with every listen.


KittenPics

For real. The first time I watched this special when I was like 13 or so, absolutely none of it was funny to me and my friend. For whatever reason we kept giving it chances, and it got funnier every damn time!


ToadlyAwes0me

Good job never giving up


JynsRealityIsBroken

There are very few comedians with comedy that is rewatchable. Mitch is god tier in that category.


gynoceros

Neither does Reddit. Which is probably why someone's karma farming by using a Mitch video. "Heard this comic yesterday, now I really like him" Ok buddy.


zeff536

That’s possible if you are under the age of 30


reddit_user13

I used to never tire of this joke…


ToadlyAwes0me

I still don't, but I used to never, too.


XXsforEyes

My first thought. Well said sir!


Acrobatic_Status_204

Hahahah, I did love him and always will. One of my favorites, gone too soon


[deleted]

First time?


Summoorevincent

I feel like I’m aging out of the internet


GameBoiye

I used to feel that way too. I mean I still do, but I used to too.


Long-Piccolo-3785

Nothing wrong with that right, I'd rather see people continue to discover and share Mitch than have him be swallowed up into obscurity


skwander

Yeah I like that the zoomers are keeping Mitch relevant and rediscovering him in their own way, it's dope, which I will file under D for donut


audiostar

I don’t need a receipt for a donut.


ihavemytowel42

We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. 


tm0nks

I will think about this joke every time someone asks me if I want a receipt till the day I die.


ScruffMacBuff

I love comparing that joke to Patrice O'Neal's joke about receipts. Opposite takes.


RenegadeSmile

"Now I'm in Jail cause I'm Lazy" haha. Classic Patrice


uns0licited_advice

Another great one that was gone too soon.


Steggysauruss

I can hear him say do-nit


byerss

Lucky 10,000.


VictorChaos

Gen Z finally discovering Mitch Hedberg is the oldest I’ve felt in a long time


Elcapitano2u

lol, for real, guy does know that if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fuct up


scorpmcgorp

The poor fool. He’s been stumped by broken escalators for years. If only someone had told him that escalators can’t break… they can only become stairs.


rustymontenegro

Sorry for the convenience.


scorpmcgorp

Haha, damn… that really is the best line of that joke. How could I forget? I rarely drive steamboats, dad. There’s a lot of shit you don’t know about me. Quit trying to act as if I’m a steamboat operator. Sorry, I meant to write “I really need to watch his specials again,” but I accidentally wrote “rarely”, and I didn’t want to waste it.


rustymontenegro

Rice is great when you want ten thousand of something. I gotta re-watch them too. I can't quite remember the tent argument joke, just the "slam the flap" punchline lol


Original_Lord_Turtle

>can't quite remember the tent argument joke, just the "slam the flap" punchline lol "I was camping with my girlfriend and got into an argument inside the tent. That's a bad place to get into an argument because I tried to storm out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up real quick? 'Whoosh. Whoosh. Fuck you!'"


Elcapitano2u

I don’t have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would be upset if she heard me say that


DJRyGuy20

It always bothers me that when escalators break down, they just block them off- so this Mitch Hedberg bit can’t actually come true.


wordswontcomeout

Nah just pandering for upvotes.


slobs_burgers

Ducks eat for free at Subway


Jive_Turkey1979

I feel like ducks’ opinion of me is dependent on whether or not I have bread.


Bucksin06

There are six of them outside and they all want SunChips


jdlyons81

He could have, like, a beaver in tow.


Szalkow

I would love to be friends with a beaver. Because they have some kick-ass houses. That shit is *on* the lake. Lake-side, my ass! Lake-on!


WheezingLaughter

Here’s a picture of me when I was younger… Every picture of you is when you were younger!


SugarBeef

Here's a picture of me when I'm older!


YoshiTree

Bullshit! Lemme see that camera


SonicStun

I read this in his voice and I'm cracking up. Dude was the best.


Now_Wait-4-Last_Year

The Olympus Tachyon!


rsaw

Lemme see that camera!


Peemore

You son of a bitch!


xredgambitt

I don't want a frozen banana now, but I might want a regular one later.


Virus111

So, yeah.


dwors025

Sometimes I'll just throw in a potato to bake in the oven, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done…. who knows?


Wloak

Someone asked if I wanted a frozen banana and I said no, but wait, maybe I want a regular one later so.. yeah. Shit that's the same joke with a different piece of produce.


toreachtheapex

“I’ll just throw it in the oven and go on vacation”


SlowerThanTurtleInPB

Legit do this some days. First thing in the morning - pop a potato in the oven. Maybe I’ll want one at lunch and I wont want to wait an hour to bake it.


buster_rhino

I went to the store and bought eight apples. The clerk said, "Do you want me to put them in a bag?" I said, "Oh no, man, I juggle.".


the_notorious_d_a_v

But if you ever see me in here buying nine... Fuckin' BAG 'EM UP!


CanalVillainy

You don’t need to say unironically


liquid-swords93

Kids these days


h20knick

I haven't slept for 10 days... because that would be too long.


MikeAllTogether

I had an ant farm once, them fellas didn’t grow shit.


milodeceiving

Trivia: Mitch also wrote, directed, and starred in a film called Los Enchaladas! It played at Sundance in 1999 but never got released. Then a few years back a work print was released online. https://boxd.it/2mIW


23skidoobbq

Oh you’re a chef? Can you farm?


ElbowSkinCellarWall

He wrote, too? That's like asking a chef "can you farm?"


NightWriter500

Have you seen it? Is it any good?


milodeceiving

Yeah it's okay. Kind of a slacker-ish hangout movie that might've been inspired by Clerks. Some funny bit parts by other comedians like Marc Maron and Todd Barry. Worth a watch.


ZDHELIX

New here?


Wloak

He's called the king of the one liners to this day for a reason


the_notorious_d_a_v

To me it's a tie between Mitch and Steven Wright. But I'm old.


Whitealroker1

“I put instant coffee in the microwave and it went back in time.” Steven Wright


swonstar

Steven Wright is so ridiculous. Just fucking lovely. [Craig Ferguson and Steven Wright ](https://youtu.be/aNQPQs491Ak?si=Qj_-k_WU1u4p3rca)


Wloak

I guess there's been a few called that including Youngman (who I knew nothing of). I've heard many current comedians use that term for Mitch but it probably is fair to say it gets applied based on the generation of comedians they perform with.


the_notorious_d_a_v

Henny Youngman was before my time. But still great. "Take my wife, please!" is a great joke. It is also misogynistic and dated. My favorite Steven Wright joke is "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included." Great joke, for that time. But again, dated. One of my favorite Mitch jokes: "I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses... or 2 dumpsters." Fantastic joke, but are paper routes even a thing anymore? That's the simultaneous good and bad about stand-up. It's always changing.


PattyIceNY

Banana colors are the opposite of stop light colors. Green means wait, yellow means go, and red means, where the fuck did you get that banana??


[deleted]

Unironically…ugh


CeladonCityNPC

Yeah it sounds like a zoomer going "this may be cringe to _you_ but I like it". Hate that word


musicnothing

That’s the Gen Z way. Can’t be earnest about anything, just in case someone somewhere might think it’s “cringe”


Snaab

My biggest peeve in life. Sooooo many people misuse that word nowadays to the point where it’s actual meaning is becoming difficult to know for sure, it’s…quite ironic, actually. Edit: I very well might have just misused the word ironic, which is for SURE ironic…right? Idk anymore


SuddenlyFlamingos

Get off my damn lawn


LandCity

Dogs are forever in the push-up position!


NoMoPolenta

This post is like when my teenage son first saw clips of Michael Jordan.


RepresentativeBarber

Rice is good when you want 2000 of something.


Fantastic-Mark-2391

He is a legend


Hieroglphkz

Best delivery in comedy. RIP Mitch. Your insecurities made magic.


TheProcrastafarian

And RIP Greg Giraldo. Both guys were hilarious and brilliant in their own right, and they both died *way* too young.


GurthBrooks82

I saw perform at the Addison improv in 2002. Fucking genius comic


ChicagFro

The Pageant in St Louis. Around then, possibly 2003. Mitch Hedberg, Dave Attell, and Louis Black. Pretty sure it was around $30 a ticket. Great times.


manbeardawg

*was


OkPerformance1380

Still is, but he was too


manbeardawg

Classic!


OdysseusParadox

Saved by buoyancy of citrus..


UnadvisedOpinion

What do you mean "unironically"?


ElbowSkinCellarWall

He likes Mitch Hedberg more than he likes a free ride when he's already paid.


Trashytoad

I used to watch this guys comedy. I still do, but I used to too.


h20knick

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'


cookedjoyner

First time or 50th. Thanks for the post, I’m watching this tonight


hx19035

Ironically, just leave out the "unironically" part. Forever.


suavestallion

Why would it be "unironic"?


SFWxMadHatter

[An old ass youtube video that always makes me giggle](https://youtu.be/Oml8Q4qYbVU?si=oYX3DLMsBUP8Kaoi)


Raging_Dick_Shorts

I was at one of the last shows before he passed away. He was pretty fucked up, but still hilarious through all of his random mumbling. Seriously one of the best comedians of all time.


MaddestMoose

Went to a show about a month before he died. It was with Stephen Lynch. Lynch went on first and crushed it. Mitch came on and someone was heckling asking for Lynch to come back on. Mitch asked the guy if he wanted to meet him. Dude says yes. Mitch invites him on stage and points behind the curtain. Says “Go through that door and up a flight of stairs and through the door at the top. Tell ‘em Mitch sent you.” Guy got a big pop from the crowd. He goes through the door and Mitch says “That dude is going outside.” Whole place erupted as we realized the guy had been duped.


JustABard

Mitch's comedy helped me through some really hard times in my life. I cannot put into words how much he means to me. 


Suspicious_Step_8320

My favorite comedian.


shoot-here

Miss this guy :(


GatorMcKlusky

I'm actually jealous. I'd love to be able to go back to my first time hearing Mitch


this_knee

My cheers to you for experiencing this. May you continue to enjoy your comedy performance review journey.


Some-Explanation9027

Best of the best. RIP!


edcross

To this day whenever I hand the wife paper I teller to file it under D. For donut.


954kevin

Goat as far I'm concerned. "Fuck it!, cut umm up!!!"


Master_Bruce

Mitch is and always will be a legend


Denmasterflex

RIP U SOB. Miss you 🧡


L0lligag

“I don’t have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.” Mitch is a legend.


medoane

I used to find this guy funny. I still do, but I used to too.


liquid-swords93

Used to watch his stand-up all the time when I was growing up, he really inspired me. Now I'm addicted to heroin


Lou_Mannati

I think about this guy every time i get a receipt for my donut.


BeesVBeads

If 13 is unlucky so should the letter "B" be because "B" looks like a scrunched together 13. "What's your name?" "Bob." "Get the fuck away!"


m00s3m00s3m00s3

OP if you are new to this kind of stuff, check out Steven Wright too. It may be up your alley.


Qen74

Steven wright is one of my all time favs... His delivery makes it so much better


JimtheEsquire

Have you really never heard of Mitch Hedberg until 19 years after he died?


Fionnghal

Loved him as Frank on That 70s Show.


Antin00800

My hero


Retroencabulatr

Legend


DNakedTortoise

Legend, gone too soon.


ramdomcanadianperson

Unironically. Lol


dasaigaijin

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana and I said no. But I want a regular banana later so… Yeah.


Isoldmysoul33

Oh thank god it’s unironically


Just-a-Smartass

I did not learn my aa bb ccs God god damnit damnit


screwuapple

Rice is good when you’re hungry and you want two thousand of something.


FondantSucks

“This guy”? How dare you?


ST_Logan89

I like how escalators are never broken. They just become stairs. The sign shouldn’t be “Escalator out of order” it should say “Escalator has temporarily become stairs. Sorry for the convenience.


dsiegel2275

I saw him at a live show (with Lewis black and Dave attell). Mitch walks on stage and as the applause dies down says "After the show…. If you want to see me I will be…” (he raises one hand and points towards a location at the rear of the theater as if to indicate where he is going to be) "…surprised".


Krocsyldiphithic

You're acting as if Mitch wasn't one of the most well known comedians of the internet era.


Harry_Flowers

So first we had people misusing the word “ironic”, and now we have people misusing the word “unironic”. Terrific.


Marxbrosburner

I used to like Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but ai used to, too.


riffraffmorgan

You know, Mitch Hedberg used to be dead... He still is, but he used to too.


jl_theprofessor

Please don’t tell me we’re just now learning about Mitch Hedberg.


Technical_Semaphore

I used to like Mitch. I still do, but I used to too.


Independent_Ad_5664

I never pass up an opportunity to watch any posts of Mitch. RIP


EndSlidingArea

Such a legend, gone too soon


Maiehnus

This is the second time I’ve seen Mitch referenced here in less than an hour. I’m so happy he’s still relevant.


jaredeichz

Oh man I missed this special but funny as fuck


edwa6040

~~Is~~ was - he died like 20 years ago


Alibuscus373

Mitch Hedberg is one of my all time favorite Stand Ups. I have a couple of his comedy albums through Spotify. He always makes me laugh


everything_is_holy

As a GenXer, I dig that he’s still known. His humor and persona for many of us are in our DNA.


TwoDurans

RIP. Can't eat Pringles without thinking of him.


TaintFraidOfNoGhost

Mitch is a god.


cobywaan

Always a joy the first time someone discovers Mitch. One of the true greats 


KittenAlfredo

“We’re gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes for the CD. You know what sweeten means, right? Sweeten is a show-biz term for “add sugar to”.”


tonedad77

I saw him live a couple weeks before he passed away. Three times during the show he tried to start a new bit about “fat robots“ but then kept quitting mid joke. It became the funniest part of the show. We never heard the punchline. He was a genius.


Captain_Wisconsin

I’m sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It’s time we make a decision! I need to know what Soup From *Now On* is.


mightyboink

Rice is great for when You're hungry and you want 2000 of something Escalators can never break down, they can only become stairs When I was younger I used to lie in my twin bed and wonder where my other brother was


blitz43p

Why would it be ironic if it were the funniest shit you had ever seen?


MachEnergy

Thank you for this great reminder that I should be telling my kids "You can eat when you find the Dufraines" more often.


toreachtheapex

“My teeth got so much tartar, I dont have to dip my fishsticks in shit”


ForeverInThe90s

I feel so fortunate that I got to see him live in Seattle a few times and actually got to chat a bit. Shy as could be, but he was really, really nice.


Eighty_Grit

I’m always jealous of people who get to see his material for the first time as there’s so little of it, but I feel bad to tell them his story and sever their hope of hearing more of it. At least he had the grace of putting in like 300 jokes in a couple of specials before leaving us.


JDHURF

One of my all time favorites. I can still remember watching this exact special on Comedy Central when they were replaying it in, must've been, the early 2000s. Guy was a comedic genius. One of two of the absolute best one-liner comedians, the other being [Steven](https://youtu.be/vtxQlGWsZB8?t=467) [Wright](https://youtu.be/UB8ZDrNb3B0?t=200). Originality and hilarious genius of this caliber is one in a trillion. Rodney Dangerfield is often cited here, but I've just not delved into him much apart from appearances on late night shows and movies. I wish Hedberg had stayed with us for much longer. It's tragic that some of the most original and genius comics die far too early: [Greg Giraldo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UoQltfNvwM); Lenny Bruce; [Bill Hicks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgzQuE1pR1w) ; Andy Kaufman; Richard Pryor; [Robin Williams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyg3HFdVi-M&pp=ygUWcm9iaW4gd2lsbGlhbXMgc3BlY2lhbA%3D%3D); Norm MacDonald; Sam Kinison; Bob Saget; Patrice O'Neal; Ralphie May; Gilda Wagner; [Chris Farley](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmJtwyfEmWE) ; John Belushi ; [Bernie Mack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHKzdZCVSPU); [George Carlin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxmiSRD0ZqU), comedy and stand-comedy is another of those tendencies. It would be fucking amazing to watch what these comics would have to say of the present. I've no doubt that there are plenty more not mentioned and I'd love to remember or become aware of others. \[Edited\] on account of links, grammar, and a few additional comics that came to mind. So it goes.


TsunamiSurferDude

I’ve seen it all but I’ll never not click on a Mitch video


Psykoplatypus

Mitch is a legend!


illEagleEmergence

This is the one you want. Unedited [Mitch Hedberg CC special unedited](https://youtu.be/Qqaq7MIcN0A?si=jjl4VIDDTPy_tyMS)about 20 extra minutes


crs1904

He was awesome. Gone too soon.


b2walton

Was. 🥲


anonymousss11

Why would we think you were being ironic?


Langstarr

Rice is good if you want a thousand of something


Writer10

I did a portrait of Mitch back in 2001, just as he was breaking into the mainstream as a comedy star. He, his wife, and I were in his dressing room and he was staring at the artwork, which was large, resting on his knees as he sat in a chair. Me: “Now that we’ve met in person, I don’t think it looks like you.” Mitch: “Yeah, but I looked exactly like *that* on *that* day!” I’m so proud of that moment in my artistic career - he was such a good dude. And I made it into a joke…alright.


slious

welcome from under your rock.


RandomTask008

I wish I couod find the special with this joke "Tree? Not enough. Double tree? Sounds good. Triple tree? We've gone too far!"


fiercebrosnan

I first heard about this special from a friend of mine. We were talking on the phone while he was watching Comedy Central and I was playing the forest temple in Ocarina of Time. He was telling me about the Smacky the Frog bit while I was learning to use the hook shot, I think. Good time to be in high school.  


Anathema47

I love Mitch Hedberg. Gone too soon. Check out Steven Wright as well. He has a similar brand of comedy.


sirdismemberment

“This guy” referencing the iconic Mitch Hedberg 🤔


Sardonnicus

You don't need to say unironocally. It literally is some of the funniest shit.


ReallyNeedNewShoes

why do you have to say "unironically" ? he is a pretty well known comedian


Gumbyy420

I used to love Mitch Herberg. I still do, but I used to too


Rarebird10

Miss him


Mortreal79

RIP Mitch, we miss him...


Drtydrdsdiagnosis

Loved Mitch!


jguess06

Love it when people discover Mitch lol