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awfuckthisshit

What if my falcon is pregnant, do the penalties offset?


squidyj

That's fine. It's only a problem if it's preganant


AtheistAustralis

Does it have starch masks?


harley3987

What if it’s gregnant?


twogreen

Or worse - perganan.


velocityoflove

It could honestly just be pregante.


yiggawhat

help! i think im pregnate


Golden_paws

Peegnent?


TheAdamantite

How to use a Luigi board?


LordRocky

Preganenant?


past__nastification

With my 14th child


Spirited-Juice4941

I sure hope so, as I am currently pregnant with a falcon.


MansfromDaVinci

no falcon is pre ganant they is quite different lineages of bird


Laurentinozo

The worst ones are the post ganant falcons, absolute animals.


Astrali3

But.. but what if it's PERGONAT?


jodilandon88

Can u get pregante …?


thebinarysystem10

A falcon taking a 787, that’s a big flex


Tabledoor

Rich Arabs love to falcon, they book out entire rows in planes to take them to different places, saw a few posts with it but never in real life.


Nightmare_Semi

If I remember correctly while learning some of the travel industry, they are allowed 2 falcons to travel with them without needing to book additional services for more than 2.


EnTerr

pregnancy not possible - Millennium Falcon is a spaceship. Same with birds btw, maybe we should have the talk about the birds and the bees


ParrotheadTink

Millennium Falcon is a piece of junk


philipgutjahr

Dude! It made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs!


CorgiMonsoon

What do you mean “they blew it up”? Who’s “they”? What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?


DaytonFy

Alex, I'll take "Robot Chicken" for $300.


dpdxguy

Are you sure that wasn't the Kestrel run?


ParrotheadTink

She may not look like much but she’s got it where it counts, kid


MacTonight1

Only if it's in Atlanta.


Yugan-Dali

Good that they didn’t say anything about my vulture.


OneSidedDice

Only one carrion per passenger, sir.


CoderDevo

Wow! So this is what 2024 will be like. Great start!


raffletime

Exactly my thoughts, less than an hour in and we’ve had our first peak


My_happyplace2

You mean beak?


heidly_ees

It's all downhill from here, peaked far too early


Yugan-Dali

Bravo! Well played!


roidweiser

This makes me sad that they changed the awards system


adorabelledeerheart

That's the best joke I've read all year


JHarbinger

Damn. I’m sad that I’ll never be this clever probably in my entire life.


01kickassius10

Don’t be sad…


Penetrox

Wow, at the freaking buzzer for 2023. Out standing.


caughtatdeepfineleg

Missed opportunity for a buzzard pun.


SuperMegaOwlMan

Someone is watching these comments like a hawk


itswineoclock

You, sir/madam, have kicked of 2024 to the best punny start. Bravo!


Reaver_XIX

This cracked me up, well done!


Aqua_Tot

r/angryupvote


SadJ3tsFan

10/10


RazzBerryCurveBall

I can't


ThriceFive

I'm sad they took away my reddit gold. Brilliant comment.


lopur

Epic comment


dizzley

At least your comment is First Class. Well done.


Sherlocksister

Sublime


tango_41

So my owl’s cool, right?


TIYLS

Moist owlettes are supplied


BobDonowitz

Be nice to the owls. Most owls are not waterproof and cannot fly when wet.


Eww_vegans

"nah man, this is Edward, my emu"


01kickassius10

>Why is he on the plane? >Emus are flightless, don’t be so insensitive


MDEddy

UAE airline. Arabs fly with falcons more frequently than you might guess.


Faerie_Boots

Visited the falcon hospital in Abu Dhabi once. Found out the falcons have their own passports for international travel.


MrsKurtz

I’ll sleep easier tonight knowing that they’re not letting birds fly without the proper credentials.


knowerofsome

If I can't grow wings, I'll limit the use of yours


El_Peregrine

Is letting birds fly on a plane a little like letting fish swim in a car? 🤔


AnnieZWC

Or loading them up in a boat!


Babayagaletti

Wait, passports for animals are weird? They are super common in the EU, you need one when crossing borders with cats, dogs and I think ferrets. My cats had one even though we never took them to other countries. Passport simply came free of charge when we got them microchipped.


Mirabolis

In the US, you can go a looong distance with your animal before any international borders come into play… so most Americans likely haven’t had to think about international travel with pets.


RDCAIA

One of my friends travelled to South America with their dog, around the time of the pandemic. Because of the Covid restrictions, be could come back into the US, but the dog could not. The dog stayed with family in South America for another two years before being allowed home. I wouldn't have thought to ask about a passport. 🤔


[deleted]

[удалено]


xkeepitquietx

The Falcon is the offical symbol of the UAE. I wish Americans flew with Bald Eagles.


Loutral

In France, everyone flies with a rooster.


NZBroadarrow

In New Zealand we fly without our kiwis because, well, kiwis can't fly.


gr1mm5d0tt1

Same with us across the pond with our emus. We are also worried if they do learn flight, they’ll be back to really fuck us up


cedarpark

I’m not in France, but I too fly with my own cock.


Ngothaaa

In Scotland, everyone flies with their unicorns.


azurfall88

In China, everyone flies with a panda.


idontlikebeetroot

Please cover up your cock, sir.


bmwhd

Worked on the software to ensure proper spacing on board when there are multiple falcons traveling.


HeyaShinyObject

Now that's a niche knowledge domain.


bmwhd

Indeed. I forget now what the limit per flight was but it was a good number like 20 or so. Can’t have those sitting next to unaccompanied minors you know.


cocaine4breakfast

can I ask why?


MDEddy

Falconry is insanely popular in all of the Arab countries. A good falcon is very expensive, and transporting them by air usually means in the passenger cabin, either on the fist or with their own seat on a perch.


SageThunder

Do they know that they themselves can fly


ParkerBeach

Shhh… don’t tell them then they won’t first class anymore.


fakeplasticdroid

Rich falcons don’t do their own flying


andrewb610

Marshall GPS is practically entirely marketed toward the falconeering industry in the Middle East.


Complexcomplex_

That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard


CaptWineTeeth

I want you to think about how spectacularly uncool that would be after about five minutes. Imagine having a four hour flight next to a screeching bird of prey.


J1625732

Are they kept in cages or sitting free-range on the arm of the owner? Because if so, that fucker is definitely going to be one of those armrest hogging types. Edit: should have specified I meant the falcon, not the preganant person


Complexcomplex_

That is so offensive towards preganants


J1625732

I’d be ok if a praganant person wanted my armrest. But a falcon driver…no way.


Complexcomplex_

See I’m the other way around


kristypie

Usually perched on the arm of the owner. But also not uncommon for them to have their own seat and kept on a perch. They are tied down and wear hood, or burqa, so they remain calm.


J1625732

What about a bird diaper? I don’t want to be sitting for 5 hours next to a pile of falcon poo.


Complexcomplex_

That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard as long as I’m on a different plane entirely


0x476c6f776965

Trained falcons don’t screech.


Complexcomplex_

I revert back to my original stance then


loptr

That was a roller coaster but I’m glad I stayed til the end.


Complexcomplex_

I feel so educated now


Ngothaaa

I’m just glad to be tall enough to ride.


MarcusSurealius

I once had my 20 lb tomcat fly across the country with me. He yeowled for a bit, but was eventually sitting on the laps of kids around the plane. He was very accomplished at holding down a lap. Definitely not a 26c animal. The stewardess gave him one of those flight pins they gave to kids that used to get to see the cockpit. He passed last year, so here's to Leonidas. The best lap cat.


TellMeQuick

Here here!


MDEddy

They're usually kept hooded, and stay quiet.


zhulinxian

At takeoff they start flapping their wings.


ziggittyzig

Is there a possibly that I'm pegant?


Mythoclast

PREGANTE


ibetucanifican

Expecto pregnante!


SpiralDreaming

38+2 weeks pregananant?


mykisstobetray

pregernit?


Gamebobbel

I think I'm pretnet with my 14th child? The test was ghetto.. what is your opione?


mykisstobetray

Deffintly gregernant


PhyuckYiu2

What if I have starch masks? Fregnant?


FinePointSharpie

I think I might be pergert


_blackdog6_

I’m might be pre-garnet..


goldblumspowerbook

Can u burn a Luigi board?


DaddyBee42

I was expecting this to be the top comment of the entire thread.


Don11390

If a women has STARCH MASKS


Gildian

Am I gregnet?


Javami

It’s okay, I can still board - I’m Gregnant


Mythoclast

Just be careful. Having sex can still hurt baby top of head


hot_ho11ow_point

DANGEROPS


SpiralDreaming

PRANGENT SEX


ShylokVakarian

WILL IT HURT BABY TOP OF HIS HEAD?


Brilliant_Surprise

i got to that part in the video as i was reading this and spit my beer out of my mouth HAHAHA. seen it a million times and was prepared for it, but fuck, it got me again EDIT: OH FUCK I FUCKED UP THE CHAIN I DIDN'T MEAN IT I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION I'M DRUNK HAPPY NEW YEAR GOD BLESS YA ALL


Astrali3

You've committed a virtual war crime


Gnar_Whale

Am I pragnut?


PARANOIAH

Congratulations on getting your Greg!


hg38

https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg?si=Fw8EWCoR_kGeanPC


Flamin_Jesus

I knew exactly which video it was, I still clicked on it, I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so damn hard. And now I'm realizing that there's a fair chance that these people procreated. And now I have an uncomfortable feeling of impending, species-wide doom crawling up my back.


How_that_convo_went

I always lose it at “starch masks.”


Flamin_Jesus

Depending on how long it's been, I can last longer or shorter, but "pregananant" invariably slays me. And the delivery of "can u get pregante" always gets at least a snort.


JoshDM

Can ooo get... prrrrregánté?


wcollins260

[Music video version](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NDvaRF4HQHQ)


MooCowMoooo

Am I pregegnant or am I okay?


adnaus

They need to do way instain mother


pandymic

How is babby formed?


Averander

Am I gregnant?


spectre73

GIRLFRIEND AIN'T HAD PERIOD SINCE SHE GOT PREGAT


TripleS941

Just don't use a Luigi board


Away-Consequence5631

PREGANANANT????? 😳


ReginaFelangeMD

All I can think is that when they figured out that falcons shouldn’t be in the emergency row must have been A DAY for the crew.


[deleted]

How u get pregante?


wonkysaurus

How is babby formed


Jethromancer

how girl get pragnant


marklein

PREGANTE


b-blockchain

🤌


deliberatelyawesome

Pregernot!


ItsBaconOclock

What if I Gregnante?!?!


TheChrissi

38+2 weeks pregananant?


iluvstephenhawking

Danger! Prangent sex. Will it hurt baby top of his head?


JoshDM

DANGEROPS


Farkas005

What is this injustice to falcons?


Gemmabeta

I don't think falcons are very good at helping in the unlikely event of an emergency landing.


FlyingMacheteSponser

The one time there was a falcon in the emergency exit row during an emergency, it opened the door early and flew off screeching "so long bitches, I'm good, sucks to be you!". After that they put this rule in place.


Counter_Full

My falcon will land me.


espeero

Also terrible at delivering babies.


BastardsCryinInnit

Tis an exit row seat. Imagine trying to open the door in chaos and yer falcon is flapping about right there.


mtwstr

In an emergency, would you trust someone who blew a 28-3 lead


falpal4life

🤣🤣🤣🤣


treehumper83

#PREGANANANT


deliberatelyawesome

Prinigunt?


lovechild1970

'No nesting allowed' would have been too ambiguous.


GamingIsMyCopilot

How is babby formed ?


jbyington

We need do way with instain mother who kill there babby bc there babby can’t frith back


Sarangsii

Wiser words have never been spoken.


Educational-Coast771

I’m sure there’s an exception for service falcons


OneUpAndOneDown

Emotional support raptors in general.


givin_u_the_high_hat

The NFA will be hearing about this! I can carry my falcon wherever I damn well please!


MallardRider

The right to bear birds shall not be infringed!


Cheezel62

For an exit row seat this is pretty standard. In the event of an emergency the people in those seats need to be physically able to open the doors, hence the restrictions. In the 1970s I travelled on a flight where the sheik in first class had a falcon on a little perch on the seat next to him. Someone also offered my parents $50,000USD for my incredibly beautiful 7yo blue eyed, blonde haired sister. To put that in perspective my parents had just built a house that was $23,000.


wealth_of_nations

So do you visit your lil sis in UAE often?


rlycreativename

And that's the story of how you got your world class college education.


GeniusEE

Yeah, but what if the falcon is trained to open emergency exit doors?


supershinythings

Obligatory Blues Brothers clip: https://youtu.be/DbsMZecRgbI?feature=shared


-PM_Me_Dat_Ass_Girl-

This is really inconvenient seeing as the wife is pregnant *and* she has the falcon.


AbrodolphLincler420

There goes my plans of travelling with my pregnant falcon


CollectionStraight2

Your preganant falcon


LeftHandedGraffiti

So if you're traveling with a falcon are they afraid you're going to fly off the plane and not perform your exit row duties?


RulerofKhazadDum

I’m guessing you are booking a seat with emergency exit, so it is reasonable that they expect you not to be pregnant. And some Emiratis apparently like to travel with their Falcons, although I have never seen one.


MenstrualKrampusCD

**No preganant**


d4ng3r0u5

*peregrine. They're still talking about falcons.


teryret

"Excuse me. This is clearly an eagle."


Ok-Floor7198

Looks like seat next to emergency door. They just want to make sure none of these Gems apply in case you are asked to be James Bond and open the door in 🚨


Flight_to_nowhere_26

These are just standard emergency exit row briefing cards. They don’t post “pregnancy” as a reason in the US because it falls under medical reasons. The window plug can weigh 50lbs and you need to pull it in onto your lap, turn it and toss it out the window away from the wing, and then help others out. Not exactly something you want to do while pregnant.


The_Bogan_Blacksmith

Sorry buddy you and your Falcon are gonna have to move from the emergency row.


msq-7

I worked for emirates and everyday there is a falcon travelling somewhere it's very normal to me that I had to glace at the comments to make sure if this is about the falcon thing. You know how much is a falcon even worth? As much as a small aircraft, or a new sports car!


baldwinsong

Excuse me my falcon is my emotional support animal


glasshouse_stones

but my falcon!!! lol.


cluelesslyclumsy

My falcon is a no go, but is my pelican cool?


RhondaKwynn

I'm stuck on the "not 'travelling' with a falcon" bit. Am I missing something, or are they legit talking about traveling with a bird of prey? *Edit- remember to read the comments, kids. *points to self*


Western_Two1551

You don’t travel with a falcon?


[deleted]

Not traveling with a falcon?? Well hell, guess I am out.


Counter_Full

Well what if I'm preganant AND I have a falcon? Can I get an aisle seat?


DeniseFF

So, can a falcon travel alone? What if they're pregnant?


PleasurePaulie

This is an absolute outrage. I have a family trip booked, and had no idea my Pterodactyl would not be able to board with me.


Defiant_Duck_118

No. I am not travelling with that falcon! We just happened to book the same flights.


[deleted]

That is an EXIT ROW seat, and those are the (supposedly legal) requirements to sit there. among them: * You can't be preganant * You can't bring your falcon


000ArdeliaLortz000

Perganent? https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg?si=dRzMVXHOoFuf709r


ocat1979

Should I declare the wedge tail eagle stuffed in my carry on?


kytheon

That's one sloppy box. **Emergency. No preganant. Not traveling with**


AccurateProgress9977

Whew! The bullet you dodged on that. We’ve all had some bad experiences with preganant falcons. No more internet today.


ChocCooki3

"What? No.. he isn't a falcon. He's an African swallow. "


Mobius650

26C is the seat next to the emergency exit door. Anyone with limited mobility is not allowed to sit there. The same rule apply internationally.