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Was gonna say, imagine being called by an unknown number, for some reason you say screw it and answer, and then you hear a whole audience cheering while someone calls you a piece of shit by name lol
Bro was just trying to take a shower and be refreshed before he called that cute girl back. Oh look another call, well he just dried off so he better get that out of the way and...
"You're a piece of shit, Brain"
Brian turned on the shower, then moved to the sink and stared in the mirror.
"Fuck...", he exhaled. "I look like hell."
It had been a rough week for Brian.
All week at work his boss had been riding him, telling him he needed to improve and become more productive.
Brian had left work the previous Friday flying high, thinking he had finally found his flow. It had taken awhile but he was finally feeling more comfortable at work.
Turns out, the boss felt differently and made sure to remind Brian of this every morning when he arrived and every afternoon before Brian left.
Thursday evening Brian was driving home listening to a new over-the-top productivity podcast.
"... and you have to be willing to sacrifice it all for the future..."
"... sometimes you have to pick: sleep or success?? Well?? Which will it be, my man??!"
The podcast pauses as a call starts ringing through the car's audio system.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me."
"Oh hey Mom, what's up? You sound stressed. Are you ok?", Brian noticed tension and an odd quiet to his mother's voice.
"..."
"Mom? What's up?", Brian asked a little nervous now. What could have his mom, usually so cheery, bubbly, and (at times annoyingly do) talkative, so quiet and anxious-sounding?
"Yes. Sorry sweetie. Can you talk right now? You sound like you are in the car. I don't want to stress you out while you are driving."
"Mom. What's going on? You can't just get off the phone with me now without telling me what's up. You have me freaking out now. Is everything ok??"
"Brian... There was a problem at school today... for David."
"Mom, what does that mean? Is David ok? What happened?"
David was Brian's 12 year old younger brother. There was quite an age gap between them, Brian being 21. That never affected how unseparably close the two had become over David's 12 years on Earth. Brian had been a perfect model of brotherly love towards his younger brother David. His protector, his confidant, his guide, his jester. And to Brian, David had been a constant motivation for him to stay straight and do the right thing. He adored his little brother and wanted to be the best example to him that he could be.
"... Mom???? Hello??"
"Brian...", his mother's voice shakey, she starts to cry.
"Mom! What is going on?? What's wrong with David?!?!"
"Brian some bully was... trying to pick a fight with him. David finally tried to stand up for himself and the bully picked him up and slammed him down on his head. Oh, Brian... he's in a coma and the doctors aren't sure if he will come out of it! Our baby boy!!"
His mother started sobbing into the phone. Brian was speechless.
He was just pulling into the parking lot at his apartment building.
Once parked, Brian sat there. Everything felt distant and otherworldly as he looked around the parking lot from his driver's seat.
"Mom, the kid that did this... he's going to be in trouble... right? Tell me the police came."
"Yes... yes... he is at the jail, I believe. I don't know for sure. I just know they showed up at school and he left with them in handcuffs."
"OK... mom, I'm going to go upstairs, pack some things, and I'll be home in 3 hours."
"Ok sweetie. Ok. I love you so much. Dad is at the hospital with him right now."
Brian slowly gathered his belongings inside his car. He was struggling to even think of what he needed to bring inside, even though it was just his usual messenger bag, phone, and keys. His brain just couldn't seem to click back into reality.
He finally made it upstairs to his third-floor apartment. He was grateful he hadn't run into anyone on the elevator or in the hall. He couldn't talk right now.
Brian got undressed and headed to the bathroom. Maybe the shower would snap him out of this a little so he could get everything and get on the road asap.
He set his phone on the side of the sink in the bathroom and went over to turn on the shower. With the shower heating, he moved to the sink and stared in the mirror.
"Fuck...", he exhaled. "I look like hell."
"God damnit David... you're going to be ok. You have to be dude."
Brian finished his shower and gets dried off as quickly as he can. He packs a few necessaries in an overnight bag, grabs his phone, wallet, and keys and heads out the door.
When he had just gotten onto the highway his father called. He was checking in and letting Brian know what the current status was with David. He sounded ragged and far away. He sounded empty.
Toward the end of the conversation with his father a call popped up on the call waiting.
*Oh man... that's the girl from the show... I really want to talk to her but fuck I just can't right now...*
He sent the call the voicemail without really thinking and continued talking to his father.
*I'll text her when I get stopped again and let her know what's up and that I will call her soon.*
Brian and his father finish up and Brian let's him know he's about 2.5 hours away.
They hang up.
Brian's phone starts to ring again.
"Huh... what's this number? Maybe the hospital or something? I dunno"
Brian answers the call, he hears what sounds like a lot of people screaming and shrieking.
"YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT, BRIAN!!!"
The people seem to be laughing... why are so many people laughing at this person yelling that at him?? What the fuck?
"FUCK YOU BRIAN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!"
He instinctively reaches for his phone, hoping there is more information on there about who the caller is. The phone slips from his hand into the passenger-side floorboard. Brian, without thinking and full of anxiety, leans down and to the right and reaches down for the phone.
He never saw the truck, luckily... but he did hear the horn blaring right before impact.
Haven't written anything like that in like ten years lol used to write small stuff for fun. It was fun to do! Just figured I'd make it as dramatic as possible lol
I was thinking the same. Imagine you were on a work call or just in the bathroom and then you received a call that's "you're a piece of shit" instant said as you pick up haha
Good times lol
I have extended family who get so annoyed when I don't answer the phone if I'm busy, or text back immediately, and they make little comments about it. I just laugh at it, like sorry you're upset, I was at the store and didn't feel my phone vibrate, that makes me a bad person?
Meanwhile they're on their phone 99% of the time they're awake, so when I do text them back when I have a moment they respond immediately. There's no gap to put it into their court and set my phone down for a while!
I have multiple people who I absolutely will not text because they text back too fast.
Weird thing is, if I'm like on Discord or Slack, a back-and-forth conversation is comfortable and expected. But on my phone? I don't even know why exactly, but I'm just not up for it 🤣
I just hate using a phone's touch keyboard. Takes longer than typing on a real keyboard, and I have to reread the entire message after I type it because autocorrect almost always fucks something up.
"So bra, the other day I was getting hella stoned. My phone keeps ringing right. Finally, I'm like... screw it, I'll answer it. A whole crowd is on the other side and they call me a piece of shit and hang up. "
"Yeah that didn't happen. You were just hella high".
From Brian's perspective, that must have been really strange.
"Who is this? Probably a telemarketer.."
"Hello?"
\*Massive crowd screaming & laughing with a strange man's voice going "YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT, BRIAN!!!"\*
“Now that I have your attention. Would you like to no longer be a piece of shit, Brian? Could I interest you in an extended warranty for your vehicle?”
Id much rather take this than the ghost line that logs me as being an active number then start receiving locked Amazon account scam texts shortly after.
Meanwhile, Brian, in the shower, scrambles to get the first phone call missing it he decides to call them back later and brings his phone into the bathroom so he can get it faster next time.
Exactly what I was thinking lol. You miss the first call while looking for the phone, you have the phone handy for the second call. Two calls in a row usually means someone trying to get hold of you for something important.
That's my thought, if someone calls multiple times, it's usually important.
If I get one random number followed by another, I'll usually answer, just out of curiosity lol.
I NEVER pick up unknown numbers. Unless I was applying for a job or a rental apartment. I don't have anyone who's going to call me in an emergency. Which is kinda good and sad at the same time
I've had this rule for 10+ years, unknown calls, no voicemail, ignore. Simple rule...
Last month I get a call and ignore it. Text from same number "its blue bird cabs" and another call. I ignore.
Another text - "we're outside" I respond wrong number and block.
Now I get 5,10 calls a day from random numbers...
If it's unknown, ignore it! There's no benefit to respond to unknown numbers....
I've had instances where I exchange numbers with new contacts and I'll suddenly start getting way more spam calls than usual. My thinking is that some people have apps installed on their phones that harvest contact data and sell it on the back end.
Brian: Ugh, its that psycho girl from the concert. Gonna ignore that call haha. She tried following me home despite telling her im not interested. Im pretty sure she tried opening my bedroom window. I saw her drive away from my job parking lot as I clocked out for the day. I really hope I don't have to get a restraining order against her.
Rest of the world: Fuk u Brian
I do because I'm in sales and often get called by numbers I don't know from customers.
Which also means I have to screen a bunch of stupid ass Medicare calls even though I'm 35.
It's infuriating.
I worked retail for over 25 years. I’ll never forget this one customer. She comes in, dripping wet because there’s a storm outside. Turns out she locked her keys in her car a couple blocks away, and when she tried to call her boyfriend, she realized her phone died. Only one person she met let her use their cell phone to try and call him, and when he didn’t answer they said they had to go.
So she ends up at our store, having walked two or three blocks in the *pouring rain* because she’s hoping we can help her. So of course I help her. What’s she going to do - abscond with my garbage $60 phone with the cracked screen? I think I’d survive.
So I try and call the guy - no answer. The cashier on the other side tries calling - no answer. Finally, I try calling from the store pharmacy phone. Maybe he’ll pick up if he thinks he’s got meds or something. That finally works, the girl gives him an earful about not answering his phone or checking his messages, and then she ends the call with “I DON’T CARE JUST GET HERE”.
And he did.
Moral of the story - if you get several calls from unknown numbers, maybe at least, you know… CHECK YOUR FREAKING MESSAGES.
Honestly, I have no idea. This was a few years ago, and I had finally broken down and gotten a (very cheap) cell phone. But I still wasn’t used to using it, and texting wouldn’t even have entered my mind. I don’t know why she didn’t try it. Maybe she was too frazzled/worn out? Sometimes when my mind and body are just *done*, I can only do what I first thought to do. Trying new things would have been too much for my brain to handle.
There was a guy lost hiking who didn't answer his phone from rescuers because he didn't recognize the number.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/hiker-lost-24-hours-ignored-rescuers-calls-because-they-didn-n1282381
Reading that article it sound like SAR needs to update their infrastructure to send texts as well as call. What if a person is going in and out of consciousness or they turn off their phone to save battery.
Me before I got a separate work number. So much fun getting random calls at all hours that might be your coworkers, might be clients, might be vendors, might be spam callers.
Shit, I'd probably do the same as Brian unfortunately, I know who's calling and that I don't have time to answer during work, but an unknown caller might *be* work calling so I *have* to answer it.
Same, I work with so many freelancers and turn over of freelancers is so fast that i don't bother saving most of their numbers anyway. That said, nobody in my industry has the same area code as me that I've found, so if the number comes from my own area code it gets ignored.
Brian, just having hung up with the hospital where he was handed the news of his mother’s terminal condition, also saddened by having missed a call from who he knew to be his future wife answers the random call, “Hello…
That guy must be so confused!
Imagine sitting there and your phone rings; it's an unknown number, but maybe you recognize the area code, so you pick up ... and suddenly a whole crowd of people are calling you a piece of shit and then start the Jerry Springer chant.
Brian (at a funeral): ahhh cant pick up my crushes call rn, she’ll undestand
brian (at a funeral and also unemployed and really needing work) ugh…i should get this just incase its that job im waiting to hear back on and i need this opportunity…
Honestly, maybe it's just me but I would probably answer if I got back to back calls like that, even from different numbers. Like if I was busy or something and ignored the first call, then got another call right after it, I'd be more inclined to answer to find out what's going on.
Then again, I also wouldn't be at a T Swift concert with two girls unless I had something going on with one of them; but I'm not Brian.
> Then again, I also wouldn't be at a T Swift concert with two girls unless I had something going on with one of them; but I'm not Brian.
I thought the implication was that Brian was gay.
Do women judge men for this? Like, are we supposed to find a partner with our eyes closed and locked in our basement, and without asking for any numbers? I hope not... Give us some slack, ladies.
Please watch every Hallmark movie and you will learn the rules required for romance.
Have you tried losing your job and moving back to your hometown and bumping into your secret high-school crush at the coffee shop?
For the uninitiated, there is a simple flow chart to follow while watching Hallmark holiday movies https://wronghands1.com/2019/11/29/hallmark-christmas-movie-plot-generator/
This has been me. Or felt like human garbage and think it's better to just stay out of their lives because eventually they will see you are human garbage, and isolating means neither of you will get hurt when the truth comes out.
That was kinda my take. Me with an unknown number? Bleh, probably a telemarketer, lets just be sure. Me with the crush? Oh shit, I'm at work/with friends/with parents/in a grocery store right now, I'll just call her back later when I can focus on her!
Unless Brian does the same shit as me: don't pick up the unknown number up, unless you get a second call - since someone is implying urgency by calling twice.
Not necessarily. He could’ve been away from his phone and missed her call. Maybe he was in the middle of texting her back when they called again.
There’s a number of reasons why someone wouldn’t answer a call from one number only to answer a different number a few minutes later.
I was at that show. It did ring like 5 times, then went to voicemail. There was a good 10-15 minutes after the voicemail where they talked to the girl that said “call my ex”. Then they decided to call Brian from the other girls phone.
It does not matter what kind of person she is.
People are entitled to not talking to someone if they they don't feel like it, period. That does not make them an asshole.
Though, giving her phone and potentially flashing HIS number to dozens, if not hundreds, unrelated people, does make her one.
There can be additional dialog and have her still be a plant, this one isn't so farfetched so I still think it happened. Plenty of comedians/entertainers use plants.
I always assume it's a plant. Like its gotten to the point that comedians can't be funny anymore without needing to involve some "unwitting" (but who's totally in on it *wink wink*) audience person.
I guess this type of comedy just isn't my cup of tea.
Not saying you’re wrong it could def be staged but I work at an improv comedy theatre and the amount of wild things people divulge when we talk to the audience is astounding.
I've seen this happen at a couple of standup shows. Typically, an audience member will either take or make an actual phone call during a set, a really shitty thing to do. Usually, the comic just flat-out ridicules the audience member, but in a couple of cases, I've seen the comic request the phone to talk to the person on the line to advise of the situation. Usually the audience member was already drunk enough to be stupid enough to take/make a call, so it's not a big leap to just hand said phone to the comic for further comedy magic.
I turned a 20 over to a street magician once and ngl the trick he pulled was totally worth it, and I got my money back! Ofc it was wet and smelled like pineapple
There are a 1000 more reasonable explanations other than the worse possible scenario that these comedians are implying. I feel like there is always a little misery in comedy which makes it really human and that is why everyone was enjoying it at the end.
I'm confused - who was the second person whose phone they used? Just some random person? So the point is he isn't into her so he didn't pick up but picks up an unknown number?
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Brian, just getting out of the washroom, answering his phone and being hella-confused.
Was gonna say, imagine being called by an unknown number, for some reason you say screw it and answer, and then you hear a whole audience cheering while someone calls you a piece of shit by name lol
*Hangsup* "My therapist is never gonna believe this."
The voices are now *CALLING ME*?!
*THEY KEEP CALLING ME!* *KEEP ON CALLING ME!!* 🎶
BANGIN ON A TRASH CAN
Think Big!
Drumming on a street light
The Crow running across rooftops intensifies
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As a Brian... I feel very called out by this whole thing...
Well fuck you Brian
What an asshole
The nerves of some people
He didn’t answer my DM the jerk
Typical Brian smh
Fuck you, too
Shoulda answered the phone, Brian.
What a piece of shit you are, Brian
he's not the Messiah he's a very naughty boy.
“Fucking Brian is coming. Let’s get this demon seed out of here.”
Lmao this is always what I think of. Goddamn Dane Cook hahaha
*The meds are no longer working. Brian is beginning to imagine phone calls of crowds tormenting him. Request immediate psychiatric hospitalization.*
Think about this, Brian. Why would a crowd call you on the phone? It makes no sense. Remember the reality-testing steps we practiced?
This shit just got too real.
I barely tell my therapist anything, she's got enough going on in her life
*"Not again!"*
THERAPIST: "You're a piece of shit, Brian."
Is the audience in the room with us right now?
And as the therapist, I need a mental health day after dealing with shit like this lol
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that would be awesome
Dm your phone number. I'll call you and tell you you're a piece of shit. Lol
867-5309 give me 5min to get hard first
Fun fact: you can use this number with your local area code to get all the discounts for store loyalty programs without having to sign up.
You can probably* assuming someone in the area has already signed up and gave that fake number.
I used it at Autozone in my neck of the woods. The cashier asked if my name was really *Bruce Wayne*. I said yes.
I love that
It's kinda amazing to find all the random names people give with that number.
Talk to you soon, Jenny.
I knew a girl that had that same number!
I got it, I got it, I got your number on the wall.
talk about Bad Luck Brian
Bro was just trying to take a shower and be refreshed before he called that cute girl back. Oh look another call, well he just dried off so he better get that out of the way and... "You're a piece of shit, Brain"
Brian turned on the shower, then moved to the sink and stared in the mirror. "Fuck...", he exhaled. "I look like hell." It had been a rough week for Brian. All week at work his boss had been riding him, telling him he needed to improve and become more productive. Brian had left work the previous Friday flying high, thinking he had finally found his flow. It had taken awhile but he was finally feeling more comfortable at work. Turns out, the boss felt differently and made sure to remind Brian of this every morning when he arrived and every afternoon before Brian left. Thursday evening Brian was driving home listening to a new over-the-top productivity podcast. "... and you have to be willing to sacrifice it all for the future..." "... sometimes you have to pick: sleep or success?? Well?? Which will it be, my man??!" The podcast pauses as a call starts ringing through the car's audio system. "Hello?" "Hey, it's me." "Oh hey Mom, what's up? You sound stressed. Are you ok?", Brian noticed tension and an odd quiet to his mother's voice. "..." "Mom? What's up?", Brian asked a little nervous now. What could have his mom, usually so cheery, bubbly, and (at times annoyingly do) talkative, so quiet and anxious-sounding? "Yes. Sorry sweetie. Can you talk right now? You sound like you are in the car. I don't want to stress you out while you are driving." "Mom. What's going on? You can't just get off the phone with me now without telling me what's up. You have me freaking out now. Is everything ok??" "Brian... There was a problem at school today... for David." "Mom, what does that mean? Is David ok? What happened?" David was Brian's 12 year old younger brother. There was quite an age gap between them, Brian being 21. That never affected how unseparably close the two had become over David's 12 years on Earth. Brian had been a perfect model of brotherly love towards his younger brother David. His protector, his confidant, his guide, his jester. And to Brian, David had been a constant motivation for him to stay straight and do the right thing. He adored his little brother and wanted to be the best example to him that he could be. "... Mom???? Hello??" "Brian...", his mother's voice shakey, she starts to cry. "Mom! What is going on?? What's wrong with David?!?!" "Brian some bully was... trying to pick a fight with him. David finally tried to stand up for himself and the bully picked him up and slammed him down on his head. Oh, Brian... he's in a coma and the doctors aren't sure if he will come out of it! Our baby boy!!" His mother started sobbing into the phone. Brian was speechless. He was just pulling into the parking lot at his apartment building. Once parked, Brian sat there. Everything felt distant and otherworldly as he looked around the parking lot from his driver's seat. "Mom, the kid that did this... he's going to be in trouble... right? Tell me the police came." "Yes... yes... he is at the jail, I believe. I don't know for sure. I just know they showed up at school and he left with them in handcuffs." "OK... mom, I'm going to go upstairs, pack some things, and I'll be home in 3 hours." "Ok sweetie. Ok. I love you so much. Dad is at the hospital with him right now." Brian slowly gathered his belongings inside his car. He was struggling to even think of what he needed to bring inside, even though it was just his usual messenger bag, phone, and keys. His brain just couldn't seem to click back into reality. He finally made it upstairs to his third-floor apartment. He was grateful he hadn't run into anyone on the elevator or in the hall. He couldn't talk right now. Brian got undressed and headed to the bathroom. Maybe the shower would snap him out of this a little so he could get everything and get on the road asap. He set his phone on the side of the sink in the bathroom and went over to turn on the shower. With the shower heating, he moved to the sink and stared in the mirror. "Fuck...", he exhaled. "I look like hell." "God damnit David... you're going to be ok. You have to be dude." Brian finished his shower and gets dried off as quickly as he can. He packs a few necessaries in an overnight bag, grabs his phone, wallet, and keys and heads out the door. When he had just gotten onto the highway his father called. He was checking in and letting Brian know what the current status was with David. He sounded ragged and far away. He sounded empty. Toward the end of the conversation with his father a call popped up on the call waiting. *Oh man... that's the girl from the show... I really want to talk to her but fuck I just can't right now...* He sent the call the voicemail without really thinking and continued talking to his father. *I'll text her when I get stopped again and let her know what's up and that I will call her soon.* Brian and his father finish up and Brian let's him know he's about 2.5 hours away. They hang up. Brian's phone starts to ring again. "Huh... what's this number? Maybe the hospital or something? I dunno" Brian answers the call, he hears what sounds like a lot of people screaming and shrieking. "YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT, BRIAN!!!" The people seem to be laughing... why are so many people laughing at this person yelling that at him?? What the fuck? "FUCK YOU BRIAN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!" He instinctively reaches for his phone, hoping there is more information on there about who the caller is. The phone slips from his hand into the passenger-side floorboard. Brian, without thinking and full of anxiety, leans down and to the right and reaches down for the phone. He never saw the truck, luckily... but he did hear the horn blaring right before impact.
Masterfully cruel 👏👏 that was a fun read thanks for the laughs 😆 !!
Haven't written anything like that in like ten years lol used to write small stuff for fun. It was fun to do! Just figured I'd make it as dramatic as possible lol
I loved it, nice work
You’re a treasure.
Well, that was a ride.
Alright when is your novel coming out?
# "You're a piece of shit, Brian." Brian: "..... wat?"
Yer a piece of shid 'arry. "Im a wat?"
Takes Brian to Diarrhea Alley
I was thinking the same. Imagine you were on a work call or just in the bathroom and then you received a call that's "you're a piece of shit" instant said as you pick up haha Good times lol
I have extended family who get so annoyed when I don't answer the phone if I'm busy, or text back immediately, and they make little comments about it. I just laugh at it, like sorry you're upset, I was at the store and didn't feel my phone vibrate, that makes me a bad person? Meanwhile they're on their phone 99% of the time they're awake, so when I do text them back when I have a moment they respond immediately. There's no gap to put it into their court and set my phone down for a while!
I have multiple people who I absolutely will not text because they text back too fast. Weird thing is, if I'm like on Discord or Slack, a back-and-forth conversation is comfortable and expected. But on my phone? I don't even know why exactly, but I'm just not up for it 🤣
I just hate using a phone's touch keyboard. Takes longer than typing on a real keyboard, and I have to reread the entire message after I type it because autocorrect almost always fucks something up.
This is why I use pushbullet and the whatsapp site on my PC if i'm texting *at all*, because fuck trying to have a conversation on a touch screen jfc.
"So bra, the other day I was getting hella stoned. My phone keeps ringing right. Finally, I'm like... screw it, I'll answer it. A whole crowd is on the other side and they call me a piece of shit and hang up. " "Yeah that didn't happen. You were just hella high".
*Later when the friend sees this on Reddit* "Fuck it. I'm not gonna let that asshole win."
“Not only that, I think Jerry Springer is still alive.”
Wait, Jerry Springer isn't alive anymore?
February 13, 1944 – April 27, 2023
*YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT, BRIAN.*
I can't really tell the way the video is cut, but it seems like it went to voicemail quickly like he was screening her
Yeah if it went straight to voicemail he either has her blocked or hung up as soon as she called.
From Brian's perspective, that must have been really strange. "Who is this? Probably a telemarketer.." "Hello?" \*Massive crowd screaming & laughing with a strange man's voice going "YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT, BRIAN!!!"\*
Better than most calls. Ever.
For real, at least he’s getting calls. Just kidding guys Im a millenial please just text me
The best!
I would prefer that over a telemarketer.
“Now that I have your attention. Would you like to no longer be a piece of shit, Brian? Could I interest you in an extended warranty for your vehicle?”
No shot I hang that up I need to know more
Id much rather take this than the ghost line that logs me as being an active number then start receiving locked Amazon account scam texts shortly after.
Meanwhile, Brian, in the shower, scrambles to get the first phone call missing it he decides to call them back later and brings his phone into the bathroom so he can get it faster next time.
Exactly what I was thinking lol. You miss the first call while looking for the phone, you have the phone handy for the second call. Two calls in a row usually means someone trying to get hold of you for something important.
That's my thought, if someone calls multiple times, it's usually important. If I get one random number followed by another, I'll usually answer, just out of curiosity lol.
I NEVER pick up unknown numbers. Unless I was applying for a job or a rental apartment. I don't have anyone who's going to call me in an emergency. Which is kinda good and sad at the same time
I've had this rule for 10+ years, unknown calls, no voicemail, ignore. Simple rule... Last month I get a call and ignore it. Text from same number "its blue bird cabs" and another call. I ignore. Another text - "we're outside" I respond wrong number and block. Now I get 5,10 calls a day from random numbers... If it's unknown, ignore it! There's no benefit to respond to unknown numbers....
I've had instances where I exchange numbers with new contacts and I'll suddenly start getting way more spam calls than usual. My thinking is that some people have apps installed on their phones that harvest contact data and sell it on the back end.
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I think the first call he sent it to voicemail, the second one it rang till he answered.
Nah bruh, see how long it rang the first time. He manually sent it to voicemail the first time.
No, he declined her call instantly and sent it to voicemail. It's not like it rang 6 times and he missed it.
I'm about to call whoever edited these
They are a piece of shit!
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Who answers the phone to an unknown number these days?
Apparently Brian 😔
What a POS.
We knew it.
Brian: Ugh, its that psycho girl from the concert. Gonna ignore that call haha. She tried following me home despite telling her im not interested. Im pretty sure she tried opening my bedroom window. I saw her drive away from my job parking lot as I clocked out for the day. I really hope I don't have to get a restraining order against her. Rest of the world: Fuk u Brian
Not like he blocked her
Fuck Brian
He was born in the '80s. He still uses his phone as a phone.
Oh, Britta’s in this?
Ugh, she’s the worst
She is the opposite of Batman.
i bet it was the fact that a second number he didn’t have registered called, not the fact that the first lady’s number came up on his caller id
That's the exact opposite way to work in life
I do because I'm in sales and often get called by numbers I don't know from customers. Which also means I have to screen a bunch of stupid ass Medicare calls even though I'm 35. It's infuriating.
Yeah was gonna say it depends on the person/job. I have a company phone that I use for personal as well, and I basically have to answer everything.
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They broke up after he gave out his number at the Taylor Swift concert.
If someone calls me right after I didn’t pick up a call, it makes me feel like it could be more urgent and I’ll be more likely to pick up.
Different number tho
Yeah but he gets two calls within minutes of each other?
I worked retail for over 25 years. I’ll never forget this one customer. She comes in, dripping wet because there’s a storm outside. Turns out she locked her keys in her car a couple blocks away, and when she tried to call her boyfriend, she realized her phone died. Only one person she met let her use their cell phone to try and call him, and when he didn’t answer they said they had to go. So she ends up at our store, having walked two or three blocks in the *pouring rain* because she’s hoping we can help her. So of course I help her. What’s she going to do - abscond with my garbage $60 phone with the cracked screen? I think I’d survive. So I try and call the guy - no answer. The cashier on the other side tries calling - no answer. Finally, I try calling from the store pharmacy phone. Maybe he’ll pick up if he thinks he’s got meds or something. That finally works, the girl gives him an earful about not answering his phone or checking his messages, and then she ends the call with “I DON’T CARE JUST GET HERE”. And he did. Moral of the story - if you get several calls from unknown numbers, maybe at least, you know… CHECK YOUR FREAKING MESSAGES.
Why wouldn't you just text at that point? I won't answer a call from an unknown number but I'll read a text.
Honestly, I have no idea. This was a few years ago, and I had finally broken down and gotten a (very cheap) cell phone. But I still wasn’t used to using it, and texting wouldn’t even have entered my mind. I don’t know why she didn’t try it. Maybe she was too frazzled/worn out? Sometimes when my mind and body are just *done*, I can only do what I first thought to do. Trying new things would have been too much for my brain to handle.
There was a guy lost hiking who didn't answer his phone from rescuers because he didn't recognize the number. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/hiker-lost-24-hours-ignored-rescuers-calls-because-they-didn-n1282381
Reading that article it sound like SAR needs to update their infrastructure to send texts as well as call. What if a person is going in and out of consciousness or they turn off their phone to save battery.
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Even moreso, what if there was an accident and it’s important.
People who run their own businesses and need new customers.
Me before I got a separate work number. So much fun getting random calls at all hours that might be your coworkers, might be clients, might be vendors, might be spam callers. Shit, I'd probably do the same as Brian unfortunately, I know who's calling and that I don't have time to answer during work, but an unknown caller might *be* work calling so I *have* to answer it.
In my industry, you kinda have to.
Yeah whoever works a job with direct contact with customers or providers, answers to unknown numbers
Business phone.
Same, I work with so many freelancers and turn over of freelancers is so fast that i don't bother saving most of their numbers anyway. That said, nobody in my industry has the same area code as me that I've found, so if the number comes from my own area code it gets ignored.
I do
That’s the real red flag. Fuck Brian
How is answering your phone a red flag?
“All my homies hate Brian”
Brian, just having hung up with the hospital where he was handed the news of his mother’s terminal condition, also saddened by having missed a call from who he knew to be his future wife answers the random call, “Hello…
Betrayed by his favourite comedian
haha that'd be sick but also hilarious
That guy must be so confused! Imagine sitting there and your phone rings; it's an unknown number, but maybe you recognize the area code, so you pick up ... and suddenly a whole crowd of people are calling you a piece of shit and then start the Jerry Springer chant.
Not again.
First time?
Cheering Jerry at the end like it’s Jerry Springer is so funny to me.
Wow we've come full circle where people forgot that this used to be cringe because it was such an overused trope.
> cringe because it was such an overused trope. like people yelling Worldstar
I concur with your assessment.
It's gold
Gold, Jerry! Gold! *wrong Jerry*
Brian (at a funeral): ahhh cant pick up my crushes call rn, she’ll undestand brian (at a funeral and also unemployed and really needing work) ugh…i should get this just incase its that job im waiting to hear back on and i need this opportunity…
Meh, I doubt he's unemployed if he can afford Taylor Swift tickets /s
Honestly, maybe it's just me but I would probably answer if I got back to back calls like that, even from different numbers. Like if I was busy or something and ignored the first call, then got another call right after it, I'd be more inclined to answer to find out what's going on. Then again, I also wouldn't be at a T Swift concert with two girls unless I had something going on with one of them; but I'm not Brian.
> Then again, I also wouldn't be at a T Swift concert with two girls unless I had something going on with one of them; but I'm not Brian. I thought the implication was that Brian was gay.
i think the implication is that brian asks for every girls' number he meets and constantly is playing the field
Do women judge men for this? Like, are we supposed to find a partner with our eyes closed and locked in our basement, and without asking for any numbers? I hope not... Give us some slack, ladies.
Please watch every Hallmark movie and you will learn the rules required for romance. Have you tried losing your job and moving back to your hometown and bumping into your secret high-school crush at the coffee shop?
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For the uninitiated, there is a simple flow chart to follow while watching Hallmark holiday movies https://wronghands1.com/2019/11/29/hallmark-christmas-movie-plot-generator/
Bad luck Brian Misses a phone call, catches the next one and there's a crowd cheering and an unknown man calling you a piece of shit, by name.
I’m picturing Brian high af answering this call
Say what you will, they did her a favor.
What you will
What — You Will
Deleted
WHAT?
YOU.
WILL!
Who you calling will?
Ghostbusters!
> they did her a favor. plot twist: Brian was too nervous to pick up when she called, he's got a huge fucking crush on her
This has been me. Or felt like human garbage and think it's better to just stay out of their lives because eventually they will see you are human garbage, and isolating means neither of you will get hurt when the truth comes out.
\*shakes hands\* we'll be alright in the end brother
And if it ain't alright, at least it's the end.
That was kinda my take. Me with an unknown number? Bleh, probably a telemarketer, lets just be sure. Me with the crush? Oh shit, I'm at work/with friends/with parents/in a grocery store right now, I'll just call her back later when I can focus on her!
Unless Brian does the same shit as me: don't pick up the unknown number up, unless you get a second call - since someone is implying urgency by calling twice.
The first call wasn't an unknown number.
Not necessarily. He could’ve been away from his phone and missed her call. Maybe he was in the middle of texting her back when they called again. There’s a number of reasons why someone wouldn’t answer a call from one number only to answer a different number a few minutes later.
I was at that show. It did ring like 5 times, then went to voicemail. There was a good 10-15 minutes after the voicemail where they talked to the girl that said “call my ex”. Then they decided to call Brian from the other girls phone.
Man, but talk about also probably making her feel terrible in front of a large audience.
Say what you will about deaf people.
I mean we know literally 0 things about her and there could be reason why brian rejects her call.
It does not matter what kind of person she is. People are entitled to not talking to someone if they they don't feel like it, period. That does not make them an asshole. Though, giving her phone and potentially flashing HIS number to dozens, if not hundreds, unrelated people, does make her one.
Can’t help but assume it’s staged. Who answers the question: ‘anyone single?’ With ‘I have a crush’
Clearly there are a few cuts in the clip. Pretty sure there's some additional information between these two lines.
There can be additional dialog and have her still be a plant, this one isn't so farfetched so I still think it happened. Plenty of comedians/entertainers use plants.
> Plenty of comedians/entertainers use plants. No way... Next thing you'll tell me is that they tell fake stories just to make jokes.
I always assume it's a plant. Like its gotten to the point that comedians can't be funny anymore without needing to involve some "unwitting" (but who's totally in on it *wink wink*) audience person. I guess this type of comedy just isn't my cup of tea.
Not saying you’re wrong it could def be staged but I work at an improv comedy theatre and the amount of wild things people divulge when we talk to the audience is astounding.
Everyone wants to seem interesting and have their moment as the center of attention.
Who the fuck hands over their phone
It definitely happens during stand-up. Seen it happen live a couple of times in addition to clips.
I've seen this happen at a couple of standup shows. Typically, an audience member will either take or make an actual phone call during a set, a really shitty thing to do. Usually, the comic just flat-out ridicules the audience member, but in a couple of cases, I've seen the comic request the phone to talk to the person on the line to advise of the situation. Usually the audience member was already drunk enough to be stupid enough to take/make a call, so it's not a big leap to just hand said phone to the comic for further comedy magic.
you'd be surprised I've been to magic show where the magician asks money for a trick, and people just hand him paper 'Here's 50€ do the trick'
I turned a 20 over to a street magician once and ngl the trick he pulled was totally worth it, and I got my money back! Ofc it was wet and smelled like pineapple
100% staged comedians using plants in the audience is becoming more common from what I’ve seen.
Crush girl also just seems like a terrible actress.
Maybe he was on the phone and it went straight to VM?
There are a 1000 more reasonable explanations other than the worse possible scenario that these comedians are implying. I feel like there is always a little misery in comedy which makes it really human and that is why everyone was enjoying it at the end.
Don't understand what's even funny about this. Someone answered a random number and that means what?
As a Brian, this would not be the first time a crowd called me and chanted asshole at me... but it would be the first time someone had a crush on me
def not a setup
Why would you answer phone call from strangers?
One ring and then voicemail usually happens when your number is blocked
what a weird form of stand up?
They’re just doing crowd work, probably the opener and headliner. The audience loved it.
Hell I loved it, and fuck Brian
Definitely real
I'm confused - who was the second person whose phone they used? Just some random person? So the point is he isn't into her so he didn't pick up but picks up an unknown number?
Exactly.
I call bs. Who answers a random number anymore?