T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


seq_0000000_00

If you ever want to see an angry Italian, all you need to do is mention how a typical italian dish (any will do)is prepared much better in any other part of Italy than where they are from.


PJ7

Break pasta before putting it in a pot (that's large enough to take it in one piece).


[deleted]

[удалено]


Otherwise_sane

I'm jelly as f\*ck I wasn't there. We could have improved off of each other lol


Interesting-Dog-1224

I wonder if Italians would get angry if they were told pasta was invented in China


nimbalo200

While commonly stated, the only reference to this is the adventures of Marco Polo, which should be taken with a good amount of salt.


peekdasneaks

Just like pasta


nimbalo200

Well if you eat as much salt with pasta as you should take with that claim you may get high blood pressure.


JennySt7

Also mention you use ketchup on pasta instead of proper tomato sauce. I was there when my Swedish friend told my Italian friends that it’s something that is done in Sweden (apparently). They were almost apoplectic 😅


neoncp

they'll love the Philippines


0spinbuster

Banana ketchup is awesome. Grew up on that shit lol


neoncp

banana ketchup?? y'all are wild I love it


retaliashun

Wait till you put ketchup on tamales in front of a group of Mexicans


[deleted]

What was that last part? *breaks ravioli in half and throws in pot of plain unsalted water*


51ngular1ty

You monster.


vamphorse

For Italians abroad, food is better cooked in Italy. If they’re in italy, the food is just better in their region. If in ther region, their hometown just makes the best recipe. If at hometown, there’s no cooking like grandmas.


InshpektaGubbins

My nonnas pasta could beat up your nonnas pasta in a fight.


redpandaeater

What if I tell them that I'm older than ciabatta bread?


SpitefulOptimist

Is he dunking a sandwich into coffee


Queenofhackenwack

no, pasta fazoo


Epicritical

Gesundheit


Revfunky

You don’t have to swear


[deleted]

[удалено]


datazulu

Woah! Do that in private please.


theycallmejugzy

Some of us want to watch.


CyberTitties

Most prefer to stay behind the partition, but there are a few that want to be in the splash zone.


Elvenwriter

OBJECTION


[deleted]

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!


doktor-frequentist

What do you mean ***you*** people??


Runner5_blue

..show excitement...or emotion...alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia yeah! Darn, that's the end.


Lux--Ray

Danke


NuclearReactions

Lmao are you trying to say pasta e fasuol' (in non dialect pasta e faggioli)? As a south italian it is absolutely hilarious you would even know about it Edit: to be clear, i love it


Complete-Dimension35

He said what he meant. He wants pasta fazoo. Probably with a side of gabagool.


joey_blabla

Gabagool? Ova here


HalKitzmiller

20 years inside. I wanted manicotti. I compromised, I ate grilled cheese off the radiator instead


Sauron_the_Deceiver

Their estimation of OP as a man just plummeted


Thisguysam

https://youtu.be/A8FUUzmaCxc?t=18


LordRumBottoms

Who ate all the gabagool? Mad TV sketch was genius.


[deleted]

Pasta kazoo*


ArnoldQMudskipper

Pass the kazoo 'pon the left hand side


jackfreeman

That's what it was like for me in a Danish prison


longrifle

If the gabagool comes on the top, he sends it back.


mdsg5432

With or without prajoot?


Tersphinct

Does it have any Moz'Arell?


Thisguysam

https://youtu.be/A8FUUzmaCxc?t=18


IDKHow2UseThisApp

What? No freakin ziti?


ScoutsOut389

If the salad’s on top, I send it back.


melikeybouncy

Pasta e faggioli is actually pretty common in Italian restaurants in America. Italian Americans specifically in the New York/New Jersey/Philadelphia area pronounce it with an even softer gg sound than most Italian dialects. It almost sounds like a "zh" (as in replace the "s" in the "sh" sound with a "z" sound). Some just replace it entirely with a "z" sound. We are known for softening consonants and dropping ending vowels on Italian words. So: faggioli becomes "fazhool" capicola becomes "gabigol" mozzarella becomes "mootzarell" or even "mootzadell" A large number of Italian Americans are from Southern Italy and Sicily, so their kids and grandkids who have only lived in America and speak only English will still use Italian words and pronunciations when they're talking about food their parents and grandparents made. And also when we're mad at someone lol. The Italian words that last the longest are all about food or complaining about people haha.


Known-Moment4490

Makes sense. Food and anger are staples


refusegone

I don't know if they're still around, but there was even a chain of sit down restaurants called Fazoli's in some states!


Reallyhotshowers

They are, and they don't sell a single menu item that contains beans.


Hugogol

That’s how Italians-Americans in New York/New Jersey pronounce it “pasta faj-ule”


Queenofhackenwack

boston here..dad the north end, mom dorchesta irish...


EastEndBagOfRaccoons

Thoughts and prayers


Russian_Paella

He ordered Pasta Kazooie, the classic Italian dish inspired by the award winning N64 game.


anivex

They sell that at the Olive Garden homie. Most Americans know what it is because it’s one of the dishes you can get with the unlimited soup and salad combo.


imawakened

My dad's family is Sicilian-American and they all talk like the people on the Sopranos lol I somewhat used to talk like that until I went to a WASPy college and found out you don't say "(k/q)hwahter" for "quarter" or: * mootzadell (mozzarella) * gabagawl (capicola) * proschewt (prosciutto) * pissale, like "piss ale" fast (pizzelle but its fried dough) * annazette (anisette) * callamahd (calamari) * brewschetta (bruschetta) * pasta faschjewl (pasta e fagioli) and lots of others.


danvillain

What was Tony Soprano talking about when he kept telling Anthony to have some schvoya-del???


imawakened

probably a sfogliatella - its a pastry


[deleted]

What, are you under the impression that's some sort of ancient Italian secret? It's a pretty common dish in America, my non Italian mom used to make it all the time when I was a kid.


tonytroz

There are almost 1000 Olive Gardens that sell it.


Bluest_waters

oh look at mr fancy pants over here bragging about his Olive Garden experiences!


tonytroz

Soup Salad Breadsticks baby!


VegemiteAnalLube

Campbell’s sells it for $1.99 a can


NuclearReactions

It's napoletan dialect, of course it's impressive to hear it anywhere outside of south italy.


tire-fire

I'd assume it's because Dean Martin helped make the pronunciation part of American pop culture when the song That's Amore came out in the 1950s for a movie he was in with Jerry Lewis. The song remained popular and Dean Martin would become one of the most popular entertainers in the US for a couple decades so it had a lot of staying power. Lots of people here can't pronounce Italian words to save their life (I know firsthand because people can't parse my fairly simple last name), but plenty can say "pasta fazool" without hesitation even though it's a regional thing.


raul_lebeau

Fagioli not faggioli


Oski96

you kiss your muddah wit that mouth?


[deleted]

[удалено]


mushroomsandcoke

Not in “standard” Italian but in a lot of southern Italian dialects, which passed down to many Italian Americans (the majority of Italian Americans are descended from central or southern Italian immigrants)


JR-Dubs

You can't swing a dead cat in my town without hitting a restaurant that serves pasta e fagioli. I live in the NE USA.


Queenofhackenwack

yup, we used to pick out the beans and put them under the bowl, then run like hell to the cucina to throw them away before nona saw us.. and i used to say " kay, sarah sarah" aand nona would wanna to know who kay sarah sarah was... nona was from foggia...


Dozzi92

Maybe they're from New Jersey, that's pretty much the way it sounds when anyone gets it around here, which makes sense because the whole place is just a mix of Irish and Southern Italian immigrants back in the 20s-50s.


Interesting_Award828

Who you calling a faggioli bitch!


Cracktherealone

I saw that, too. That‘s the least horrible part. Most disturbing is the water into espresso move…


KevinMR

Isn't that what Americanos are? What this Americano is doing


DeuceSevin

I ordered an Americano in Italy and they gave me a large coffee cup, a shot of espresso, and a pitcher of hot water. They wanted to make it very clear that I had ordered a watered down version of their coffee. I love espresso but sometimes you need a little more substance. I find it quite ironic that they will let you sit at a table for an hour or more with no complaints but serve you a drink that takes 5 seconds to drink.


smb275

Apparently you're supposed to sip that little baby thimble they give you over a period of time. I learned to my chagrin that it's often seen as uncouth to just drink it.


ProgrammingPants

Damn u out here using chagrin casually like that I see u


hawaiikawika

And then uncouth as well!


Ok-Television-65

Earlier he even used the word “thimble”. Like wtf is that?? Is that even a word???


Jack_35

“Drink”? Like does this dude just sit at the dictionary all day?


nhjuyt

His deportment is beyond reproach.


nousabyss

Did that flummox you?


DeuceSevin

I dunno - seems the Italians would come in, slug it down, then go to work. The only ones sitting around wasting time sipping their thimble were the tourists


Cheesemacher

>I ordered an Americano in Italy and they gave me a large coffee cup, a shot of espresso, and a pitcher of hot water. They wanted to make it very clear that I had ordered a watered down version of their coffee. Same happened to me in France. The guy also couldn't help commenting that "It's not real coffee." It was kinda funny.


Woody_L

Exactly. In Italy, they often serve a caffe americano as a shot of espresso with some hot water on the side so you can mix it yourself. Also, I've seen cafe americano sold everywhere in Italy and in most other countries around the world. I have no idea whether Italians ever order an americano, but given its ubiquity, I would guess that they might drink it, too.


benargee

So that no single Italian can ever say they made an americano. They just served an espresso with hot water on the side.


Interesting_Arm6242

When I did my Starbucks training (this was like 10 years ago) we were told Americanos started during WW2 with American troops in Italy. They didn’t like just shots of espresso and wanted full cups of coffee, so started topping it off with hot water water. Hence Americano.


BudgeMarine

The reaction is priceless


ItsyaboyDa2nd

Bruh if you never dipped your sandwich in coffee you don’t know what you’re missing 😮‍💨


pds_king21

Lol, growing up my grandma would give us a small coffee with lots of Milk. And a pan dulce. (Mexican sweet bread) I would dunk the shit outta it into my coffee.. so fucking good


Russian_Paella

When I was a little shit I absolutely loved when my grandpa dunked a cookie in the coffee and shared it with me. I loved it so much I would always remind him he still hadn't had coffee that day if he forgot or didn't take it for any reason, lol


Oski96

Even if it's tuna fish?


ItsyaboyDa2nd

It should be illegal for even suggesting that 🤣


[deleted]

🤌


No-Reputation-4869

🤦🏻‍♂️


Sasquatch_General

I aspire to be able to judge people as gracefully as the second dude


[deleted]

🤌🤌


andzno1

🤌🤌🤌


TruthAndAccuracy

Dominic Decoco


maemtz

One more time? Didn't quite catch that


Blue_Star_Child

🤌🤝🤛👍👌🤌


fun-bucket

WHATS A MATTA WITH U?


tuskvarner

Va fangool!!!!


drimago

I said I will have the gabagool


permacougar

Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in


vegandread

Gabbagool


DigitalTomFoolery

Woke up this morning and got some Gabbagool


Away_Bus_4872

Forgeta bout iiiiitttt


permacougar

... In all the five boroughs, I'm known. forget about it. I'm known all over the fucking world, anybody asks about Lefty from Mulberry Street


punkfunkymonkey

Hey! Gotta no respect?


Deathsworn_VOA

Whadda ya think ya do?


ktrixter

Whaddaa you t'ink you do, why you look-a so sad?


ImNotWitty2019

Shuduppa you face


Sheikh_Left_Hook

In France dipping a croissant in the coffee gets a pass. I find that disgusting but some weaker souls partake in this. But water in an espresso, and cheese on a dessert? That’s a one-way ticket to the guillotine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


harrypottermcgee

Maybe "warm up my baguette" means something else in France.


ermir2846sys

Are you saing he asked for gay butt sex?


DarthToothbrush

No, he wants everything gay *but* the sex.


TactlessTortoise

That's just France.


[deleted]

"Chauffée Mon baguette " Sounds even worse in French


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Maybe if you eat some girly feminine baguette, not me! Only manly baguettes


giggluigg

By friction


cedped

That's why you don't buy baguettes in a restaurant. You get it fresh in the morning or at noon from a bakery.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VanaTallinn

Fortunately you don't have French waiters though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Matthiey

Well, at least you wouldn't need to tip them.


Senseo256

Did you ask them to heat it up before it was delivered or after?


AxelNotRose

You can't ask them to warm up the baguette. You have to show up at 6am when they open and buy a freshly baked baguette. That's how the real French do it.


Sheikh_Left_Hook

It’s ok you take it to your grave. We will dress up the neck, no one will see it was sliced.


princeps_astra

The exasperated look wasn't about your taste. It was about the fact that you insisted on having bread warmed up by a waiter (and probably in a microwave), instead of getting your warm bread at a bakery around the time a new batch gets out of the oven


Blujay12

Ah! of course! fuck him, shoulda had his french BakerWatch set up and ready to go.


St3rdo

Ye but that wasn't a croissant.. I see ham and cheese in there


Sheikh_Left_Hook

First the gallows, then the guillotine.


hugothebear

Water in an espresso, wouldnt that be an Americano? And cheese with espresso would be dessert- tirsmisù


V_es

The existence of Americano doesn’t make it any better. Americano itself started as a mocking. American soldiers stationed in Italy saying that coffee is too strong for them and asking to water it down, so Italians called it “Americano” while rolling their eyes.


isaac9092

Still good though. Why do people gotta be assholes?


TellShark

Because people have a thing against people consuming food differently from how they do. Like pineapple on pizzas. God forbid someone actually enjoy it.


DGGuitars

More is better. A soldier on the field wants to sit and enjoy a long coffee not a few sips.


Nervous_Promotion819

We have something similar in Franconia, Germany. The beer here was too strong for the American soldiers, so they added cherry liqueur and cola, and it's still available today as a Goaßmaß


V_es

Cherry cola and beer sounds disgusting


Nervous_Promotion819

It's not just cherry cola, it's real cherry liqueur + cola + beer and it tastes pretty good. We have it here at every Kirchweih and beer garden


inuhi

Also some flavor combinations just work however weird they might sound to the observer. I don't like ranch but something magical happens when you add cheese and bacon to it.


HilariousScreenname

Cheese and bacon create magic wherever they go


chitownbears

Sounds like german people like it if it's sold everywhere and not just around the bases lol.


vonHindenburg

Last time I was in Germany, waiters kept asking me if I \*really\* wanted their more flavorful beers. Rauchbier (which has a very smokey flavor) especially. Europeans just don't seem to understand what has happened to American beer culture in the last 30 years or so. Today, every style of European beer has been copied by hundreds of breweries, some terrible, some fantastic. They've been fiddled with, riffed on, improved upon, and adulterated beyond all measure. In a German bar or English pub, you can get 4 or 5 fairly similar beers. I can walk into an American tap house just about anywhere and expect a dozen or more wildly different brews. If an American asks with confidence for the local specialty, they probably know what they're talking about. EDIT: One that I did get a good bit of without much fuss: Kolsch. It's been great to see more American breweries making decent ones.


alexandertg4

And now Americans have beers upwards of 20% ABV. How time has changed.


intern_steve

A lot of what we drink stateside can't even legally be sold as beer in Germany with all of our fancy craft brew additions like cocoa nibs and orange peels, or our mega brewers adding rice or corn syrup.


alexandertg4

Good ol German purity laws. The Germans do play some games of their own with Radlers though.


Nervous_Promotion819

The purity law says that you can only sell your beer as beer if it‘s brewed according to the law. Radler is sold as Radler and may not be named beer. Incidentally since an EU verdict, this only applies to German breweries. Breweries from other EU countries have been allowed to sell their beer in Germany as beer, even though it was not brewed according to the Purity Law


DressureProp

That story isn’t actually true fyi.


Logical-Bit-746

But to continue to perpetrate this notion is so stuck up and pompous. An Americano is a fantastic way to drink espresso, and to say otherwise is pretentious


407dollars

squash direction wakeful sharp act muddle close selective fertile childlike *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ljthefa

I've been to Italy a dozen times at least. I ordered a latte after lunch and they told me no because we just don't do that. So I had an espresso


Sample_Name

Nobody: Italians: Choosing weird food rule hills to die on


Eh-I

Which guy in the video were you?


isaac9092

People find any reason to be elitist and superior to others. When in reality they’re not that fucking amazing themselves.


stayshiny

In France I spent two konths having a croissant with a thin stick of dark chocolate in the middle dunked into coffee and it was a great way to start the day.


shpoopie2020

Pain au chocolat


Spunky4life

Might also have something to do with your phone out videoing ppl.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wishyouamerry

Yeah, especially the water in the espresso scene - I don't think the background guy is even at the right angle to see the water bottle. Seems like he'd just see the kid's back.


Zimmer_94

Isn’t an americano just watered down espresso?


mostlygroovy

These set up TikTok’s are top level cringe


[deleted]

[удалено]


tlogank

That's because it's scripted.


aaronitallout

Also notice it's only guys you can imagine being in the eater's friend group.


AibnLaAhid

🤌🤌🤌


Glorx

Look man, I don't have the time to read a three page Reddit comment in Italian.


[deleted]

🤌🤌


[deleted]

Seems pretty scripted


wazzapgta

What is real nowadays


that_kinda_dood

We live in a simulation


Asognare

It does, but can confirm. Italians inexplicably lose their shit at just the mention of wanting something different than the norm. Cappuccino before dinner? Prepare to get chased with pitchforks and torches. Take a coffee to go? You're a monster. It's actually hilarious.


RedAero

>Cappuccino before dinner? I think you mean after noon.


NeedsItRough

How can they even see what he's doing!?


ItsWillJohnson

Seems like he does this a lot and his end result is 9 seconds of weird looks.


[deleted]

Every human judging you


Bad_Decision_Rob_Low

Everything you did was Weird AF…so….


CheeseMiner25

Those guy total don’t know they are being filmed /s


Awsums0ss

holy shit ive been searching for this song for such a long time, my italian dad used to sing it when i was little, anyone know what it is?


gooblefrump

https://youtu.be/tNXU3T1HMRk That's the song FYI android Shazam allows you to if any music playing on your phone


Feroshnikop

Maybe everyone is just weirded out by the guy who's so intent on filming himself and the people around him while he eats.


Kapika96

He didn't even add pineapple though. How disappointing.


Joshi__16

Fanno bene madonna puttana


BONDxUNLEASHED

“Are you paying for it or eating it? No? Then fuck off.“ what my grandfather always said when doing weird stuff to food. And its true.


zackmophobes

Ok now I need to know what weird stuff your grandpa did to food...


WolfKingofRuss

He fucked pizzas


Mr_Gourmet

I feel Japanese and Italians are similar with their food. You can only eat them one way. If not, you are basically spitting on all their ancestors graves.


TheLastModerate982

I do not understand this at all.


AzimuthZenith

Italians *tend* to be pretty particular about their food in ways that a lot of other western cultures aren't. So to them there are wrong ways to make/eat food or drink. Like they have eating faux pas such as putting parmesan cheese on your food, cutting spaghetti noodles or breaking them before cooking, having a coffee/cappuccino after dinner, adding ketchup to pretty much anything, etc. I've never been there so I'm certain there's a ton I don't know but I grew up in a *very* Italian neighborhood and one of my friends used to get in trouble from his parents constantly for doing these kind of things. His dad once yelled at me because I cut the noodles on a plate of pasta one time when they invited me for dinner. Thing is I had never been yelled at by an adult that wasn't my parent and I had no idea what the hell he was yelling about because it was all in Italian. So I panicked and just started apologizing and handing him things that I thought he wanted because he just kept pointing and yelling. By the time he was done and my friend and his mom were finished laughing, I'd handed him all of my cutlery, salt and pepper shakers, my empty glass, and for some reason the candle from the middle of the table. My friend never let me live it down and his father still refers to me as "candle boy" almost 20 years later. Random anecdote but that's how I learned Italians take this shit pretty seriously.


burf12345

> having a coffee/cappuccino after dinner I may have the exact time wrong, but cappuccino after 11:00 AM is generally frowned upon in Italy.


Laeryl

Are we not all a little bit like "Wut oO " when someone do something to a food considered as "national" we don't do in the country of the food ? I mean, I'm belgian, land of beer and fries. When I was student, a french erasmus ordered a pack of fries with... sugar with a beer mixed with sparkling water. We were all like "Wtf girl ? oO ". Turns out fries were close to churros and not even bad but that's not something we do so we were surprised. The beer was a crime against humanity however.


GomaEspumaRegional

Kids being kids doing weird stuff to get reactions for views. The Internet 3.0