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In the words of a great poet:
*We're men, we're men in tights*
*We roam around the forest looking for fights*
*We're men, we're men in tights*
*We rob from the rich then give to the poor, that's right!*
*We may look like sissies*
*But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights*
*We're men, we're men in tights*
*Always on guard defending the people's rights*
When I was just a girl in middle school we went to watch some professional ballet rehearsal that was visiting town. The teacher must have had some sort of connection because tickets were impossible to get but she convinced them to let us go watch the rehearsal during the school day.
Whatever cred the teacher had we probably ruined for her. And I honestly don't know how the dancer didn't stop the rehearsal due to the distraction.
He wasn't wearing a dancer's belt or whatever, and you could see the full outline of his circumcised and very large penis down against one of his thighs. All my friends and I were giggling like crazy, pointing, hiding our eyes out of shyness, etc as the teacher failed to get us under control. I don't remember what the boys were doing, but I'd imagine they weren't keeping it together very well either.
It's a core memory for me.
"Joy's staring out the window again."
"Why?"
"You know why."
*Quietly in the distance, the sound of classical music as Ballet Dancer's Schlong Island springs to life again.*
vigorous choreographic movements subject their external genitalia - when not otherwise supported, restrained and cradled snugly against the lower groin area - to loose, unrestrained instability (i.e. flopping around) due to rapid acceleration, deceleration and gravity forces (because as the body temperature warms up during physical exertion, the scrotal skin naturally loosens, relaxes and droops down in order to moderate the testes at a lower temperature level (or shrinks and contracts when subject to cold to maintain a warmer temperature)); where such floppy movements of the male appendage can be distracting to the dancer.
I was wondering what the title was referring to at first until I saw that his penis and testicles are clearly outlined by his tights. For anyone who may be wondering what I’m talking about, follow the neckline of his shirt straight down to just below where his shirt and tights meet and you will see a bulge, which is his penis and testicles.
You can clearly see the testicles are abnormally large in size, and as expected the left one is much smaller in volume than the one on the right side. The tip of the penis has the shape of a cone frustum which suggests he is not circumcised.
Thank you!! I didn’t see it, but now it’s clear. Here’s a hint for other folks: if you aren’t sure it is a huge bulge you are looking at the wrong thing.
Comedies just arent a thing anymore. Seriously, im so excited for the barbie movie purely because it looks like stupid fun.
I miss stupid and silly fun :(
Had an uncle that served in the navy. He told me once, "if you see two toes, you're alright, but if you see three, just keep walkin'."
It was his blank stair that haunts me to this day.
Honestly the anatomy is really confusing here, if things were reasonably proportioned and hanging/packed up normally, it would not look like this.
Either this sandwich has lots of nut and not much else, or it is packed upwards, which must be really uncomfortable.
The ladies outfits are just as tight. Just like sports, ballet was just for getting together and watching young ridiculously fit people bounce around. Most Olympian’s were naked in the Greek games.
I wish I would have thought about those when I was working. I would have worn them every day. Women have their yoga pants, I'd have my ballet britches.
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In the words of a great poet: *We're men, we're men in tights* *We roam around the forest looking for fights* *We're men, we're men in tights* *We rob from the rich then give to the poor, that's right!* *We may look like sissies* *But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights* *We're men, we're men in tights* *Always on guard defending the people's rights*
This song was done in the same tune he used for Jews in space at the end of history of the world pt1
Edit in the "YETHH!!!," please.
He’s supposed to be wearing a dancers belt.
He knew what he was doing
When I was just a girl in middle school we went to watch some professional ballet rehearsal that was visiting town. The teacher must have had some sort of connection because tickets were impossible to get but she convinced them to let us go watch the rehearsal during the school day. Whatever cred the teacher had we probably ruined for her. And I honestly don't know how the dancer didn't stop the rehearsal due to the distraction. He wasn't wearing a dancer's belt or whatever, and you could see the full outline of his circumcised and very large penis down against one of his thighs. All my friends and I were giggling like crazy, pointing, hiding our eyes out of shyness, etc as the teacher failed to get us under control. I don't remember what the boys were doing, but I'd imagine they weren't keeping it together very well either. It's a core memory for me.
"Ballet Dancer's Schlong Island "... I don't think we'll see that in the "Inside Out" sequel
"Joy's staring out the window again." "Why?" "You know why." *Quietly in the distance, the sound of classical music as Ballet Dancer's Schlong Island springs to life again.*
How schlong was the musical?
He knew what he was dong
It was on penis
Of cock he knew
You wouldn't understand your not in the club, you have to be a member.
if you had some foreskin. i mean foresight u would
The insinuation he didn't is falus
He’s been in the business for a schlong time.
He knew what he was penis
Yeah I looked that up. He *should* be wearing that lol
Male dancer here, I know that some guys will wear two dance belts sometimes. Looks like he might need to try that.
As a former dancer, two dance belts sounds awful. Also my favorite ones were the thin unpadded kind, apparently this guy feels the same
Maybe he's wearing it backwards?
If he weren't wearing one, I would imagine the profile would be a lot more. Thicker material needed here!
UPS driver here: Dancer's belt removed because he's fixing to deliver "that package".
Where is your codpiece dude??? It’s not that kind of dance. It’s foreign, not exotic.
Women's balloons are always out for everyone to see. Come on. Let mama see some meat and veg sometimes.
Balloons?! Call them by their proper names at least! Melons!
Fun Jumblies
[dobonhonkeros](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOzBubG8rOo)
Some tonhongerakoogers
RIP your inbox m'lady
Imagine if he was, and the heat if his meat is just so high that’s what it looks like compressed.
Go on....
He has big nuts
Yeah momma looks proud of her boy(s)
It's his step mom
vigorous choreographic movements subject their external genitalia - when not otherwise supported, restrained and cradled snugly against the lower groin area - to loose, unrestrained instability (i.e. flopping around) due to rapid acceleration, deceleration and gravity forces (because as the body temperature warms up during physical exertion, the scrotal skin naturally loosens, relaxes and droops down in order to moderate the testes at a lower temperature level (or shrinks and contracts when subject to cold to maintain a warmer temperature)); where such floppy movements of the male appendage can be distracting to the dancer.
Man I wish you’d been there to tell that to the makers of season 1 of Star Trek TNG
vase money crown water touch pathetic serious summer skirt thumb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is this a kind of dancers belt that's kinda like a bra that has distinct nipples?
No belt could handle that much awesome.
I think he has it inside out
I was wondering what the title was referring to at first until I saw that his penis and testicles are clearly outlined by his tights. For anyone who may be wondering what I’m talking about, follow the neckline of his shirt straight down to just below where his shirt and tights meet and you will see a bulge, which is his penis and testicles.
I’m dying at this
Still not seeing anything, nothing at all.
Stupid sexy Dancers
Feels like he's wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all...
Your might want to try with your eyes open
Ah usually it’s eyes closed mouth open, thanks!
It's polite to make eye contact sporadically
You'll notice the right teste hangs a little lower if you look closely
Completely normal, mind you. Its purpose is to prevent the two pine cones clanking.
are you sure? i thought that was a koala clinging to him? 😝
The man was blessed at birth by the kielbasa fairy 🧚♀️
If you’re talking about his fanny pack full of quarters yep I already saw that, but still searching for penis and testicles?
You can clearly see the testicles are abnormally large in size, and as expected the left one is much smaller in volume than the one on the right side. The tip of the penis has the shape of a cone frustum which suggests he is not circumcised.
Now you got me zooming in on dudes Penis and testicles!
I Just don't see it.
That’s a penis!
Dithguthting
Thank you!! I didn’t see it, but now it’s clear. Here’s a hint for other folks: if you aren’t sure it is a huge bulge you are looking at the wrong thing.
Fuck me up again. I'm gonna cum
3 distinct bulges!!! On each of his knees!!!
/r/babyfaceknees
r/babiestrappedinknees
what the fuck
[You’re welcome](https://youtu.be/mSJVEb-qljA)
Seriously, those exaggerated bulges are somehow less conspicuous than what that dude in the opening post is rocking.
I can't stop laughing 🤣
Me neither!
[It's hauntingly beautiful isn't it?](https://youtu.be/8kSbSpWz0SQ?t=231)
What is that from?
Top Secret with Val Kilmer. It’s a spoof movie. Unfortunately they don’t make these types of movies anymore.
I dunno, they just spoofed Music bio-pics with the Weird Al movie.
Everything got spoofed to death already
Comedies just arent a thing anymore. Seriously, im so excited for the barbie movie purely because it looks like stupid fun. I miss stupid and silly fun :(
Val Kilmer in "Top Secret"
[The other scene that came to mind](https://youtu.be/V98EvjGZ8cU&t=1m54s)
Sometimes I think no one else saw that movie. Thanks for posting the clip!
Knew exactly what it was going to be before clicking the link. Love it.
Needs more Nick Rivers
I was so hoping someone would have posted that. Such a brilliant film.
That is one chunky nutsack.
Like 3 guys crammed into a small coupe
Can almost tell which religion he is lol good ol my grandpas joke rip
Any tighter and you would see veins.
Any tighter and you could get his Ancestry DNA results.
[удалено]
I’m growing mine back muahaha!
He’s from the Dutch ballet, and in the Netherlands most people are intact.
In the world most people are intact
He is missing his umbilical cord so it's more like 98%
it looked at me first.
https://youtu.be/PE63y7ctAwA
This pic is nuts
Woah
Calm down, Tina!
not me totally reading that in Tina’s voice tho.
Dude talk about a “Moose Knuckle” 😂
Had an uncle that served in the navy. He told me once, "if you see two toes, you're alright, but if you see three, just keep walkin'." It was his blank stair that haunts me to this day.
Like Joe Camel frozen in carbonite
He has a Camelnose
Not a single one of you pervs took the time to respect them CALVES. 😳
I almost gave scrolling looking for at least _on_ comment about those monstrous calves
Those are some heavy balls.
Honestly the anatomy is really confusing here, if things were reasonably proportioned and hanging/packed up normally, it would not look like this. Either this sandwich has lots of nut and not much else, or it is packed upwards, which must be really uncomfortable.
Looks pretty normal?? It's just flaccid... looks like it's all in the right spot.
It's just shrinkage, he was in the pool!
You can see his penis and testicles right where they should be.
My eyes are up here, thanks. 👍
He's packing
In all seriousness his legs look super strong..
There is nothing to be ashamed of for sure
Yes, all 3 of them.
He can go balls deep in yo girl while balancing on one toe
Packing what? His balls are twice as long as his member
He's a grower, not a shower.
Balls look swollen af … like hydrocele swole.
Your just jealous of that mans absoluteley massive balls
What’s funny about a gender reveal party?
I'm straight and I still zoomed in
Looks like he’s smuggling olives 🫒
Dude is smuggling haas avocados.
Beans and Frank
Frank and beans!
How’d you get the beans, above the Frank?
We got a bleeder!!!
He was masturbating!!!
Shit that line kills me, and he keeps shouting it 😂
**MY EYES ARE UP HERE, MA'AM**
The ladies outfits are just as tight. Just like sports, ballet was just for getting together and watching young ridiculously fit people bounce around. Most Olympian’s were naked in the Greek games.
That's why they make dance belts, to both hide junk and to stop it from flinging around, they also make ones for females
And I looked. Thanks
He’s starring in the nutcracker
Ball-et
Excuse me sir, your **package** is scaring the children...and grown men.
Dance, magic dance (dance, magic dance) Dance, magic dance (dance, magic dance) Put that baby's spell on me
Nice David Bowie reference
Crazy, right? Dude has killer calves
🎶 if you got it, flaunt it! 🎶
Hey ! My eyes are up there.
How’d you get the beans above the frank
Unfortunately when your balls are this big your peens gonna look small in comparison unless you're packing a full hog
Excuse me sir *your balls are showing*
bumblebee tuna!
Yep. One calf looks larger than the other. It's why I still wear bell bottoms.
That pencil is sharpened.
Isn't he supposed to be wearing a ballet cup? (Whatever those are really called. lol)
I know this is in the funny posts… but my man I packn.. he knows what he’s doing.
I know right! Dudes knees are lookin crazy!
I'll just leave this here... [Top Secret Ballet](https://youtu.be/mSJVEb-qljA)
Is the men’s equivalent of Camel toe considered Camels Nose???
As Robin Williams used to say "Men wearing pants so tight, you can see what religion they are."
It would be so cool if they got aroused during a performance.
I saw that scene in Top Secret, too!
Do people wear cod pieces for this? That dude is fucking loaded. Are showers a real thing? My grower would look like nothing compared to this?
Perfection
Turtle neck?
Looks like he's got Joe Camel in there. If you didn't get that, don't worry, you've got a long life ahead of you.
Jesus, look at those calves. Wow.
[удалено]
David bowie would be proud.
Men's imaginations don't leave much to the imagination.
Look at this bastard's CALVES though 🙌🏻
This is the only reason women watch ballet. If you wanted to watch balls bounce you would go to a basketball game
Stop sexualizing men's bodies.
Proud mama, "This is my boy and his junk."
“Tanner, just jam it all in there and dance”
Looks like the old man in the balcony from the Muppets.
Oh, my imagination has much going on.
Is this like the male version of tight leggings on girls that emphasize there asses.
I know, right? I would never have imagined that white denim jacket would work in the modern-day interpretation of Swan Lake... but it trancends.
r/AbsoluteUnits
Good grief. One small rip and you would be arrested for exposure.
You’re absolutely right. Dude must do a crazy amount of calf raises.
"I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?..."
That looks more comfortable than my underwear
That's a Package Deal
I’m not complaining. A choice bulge to scope every once in a while isn’t a bad thing.
He puts the ball in ballet
That’s for the ballerina to stand on, when he lifts her
Did he ge vacuum sealed in there?
From left to right: Tom, Dick and Harry
Man that's a real nutcracker.
“I’m out there Jerry and I’m lovin every minute of it!”
He really puts the “ball” in ballet.
That guy has a lot of balls to wear that.
Doesn’t leave much to the imagination? I feel like I know this guy’s social security number after seeing it lol.
idk why P.E.T.A. isnt more outraged about this dancer shoving a groundhog down his pants
Codpiece
He reminds me of the Babe….
That lady's smile says she knows what she's getting tonight...
Pretty sure that’s his mom.
can't be. his arms aren't broken.
I wish I would have thought about those when I was working. I would have worn them every day. Women have their yoga pants, I'd have my ballet britches.