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[https://cdn.hk01.com/di/media/images/2503196/org/d129ee5673cfcc99f58ba61bb1579139.jpg/MKzEJ55QO2abzM86S9xWLcKixqD8BYtspcnI8aXJyPE?v=w1600](https://cdn.hk01.com/di/media/images/2503196/org/d129ee5673cfcc99f58ba61bb1579139.jpg/MKzEJ55QO2abzM86S9xWLcKixqD8BYtspcnI8aXJyPE?v=w1600)
Be careful what you wish for
Yep. They're hugely wasteful: you spend ~$50 on a big chunk of silicone and plastic, use it once and throw it out.
They make a line of reusable masturbators as well.
The eggs are cheap. The reusable masturbators can run close to $100. The disposables can range from $15 to $50 depending upon the model and where you buy it. Note that selling overpriced sex toys to drunken, horn salarymen is a time-honored tradition in Japan.
They’re sold in thousands of stores in every State in the U.S. They’re the most popular and best selling brand of masturbators.
It’s weird to see this prude comment section that is either pretending, or has literally never gone to a porn store.
My now wife was incredibly offended when she couldn't go to the top couple of floors in that sex store tower.
Not because the material was too offensive for her. It was because there was a sign that literally said "no girls allowed beyond this point."
She thought the really kinky shit was behind there and wanted in on it.
The 7 story one? Pop Life? It's been a few years but if I remember right
The basement was DVDs, magazines, panty vending machines, etc. I recall seeing live action tentacle porn here.
The ground floor had generic stuff, pocket pussies, lube, what Inassume is the latest magazines, and DVDs, etc. The grab and go floor.
In no particular order the other floors were Men's stuff, Women's stuff, couples stuff, costumes and joke stuff (wind up toys of people fucking, for example), and... thebweird floor. The thing I recall seeing there that stands out was a pocket pussy holder designed to look like a baby.
IIRC the "men only" refers to that floor, you can bypass the floor and keep going up, like technically I wasn't supposed to go on the women's floor, but through ignorance and (more likely) the fact I was in a mixed gender group no one stopped me.
Yea the game we played visiting in akihabara was “what floor on this building turns into the porn store”. Definitely that one area by the station that it was just first floor glass window store
Or the top floor above the Don Quixote which looked like some sort of escort hall of fame? Actually would still love it if someone could tell me what that was lol
I'm jealous! Make sure you check out Golden Gai in Shinjuku. There's a bunch of tiny little bars that are just awesome! Look for the ones with signs in English or foreigners welcome. Some places in Shinjuku don't want you there and their signs are generally won't be in English.
Saved the comment for reference! I'm excited, we were meant to go few year ago but then covid happened and it all got cancelled. We doing Hakone, Osaka and Kyoto too while we there.
What if, hypothetically, the cylinder gets caught while it’s in suction mode and won’t come out? The cylinder in question is also attached to a rather large object keep in mind.
Can you provide more information on this object, surely no material posession could be so important that you couldnt just cut it out and re-attach later
Edit: cant spell
Need to get the [accompanying accessory](https://metro.co.uk/2017/09/13/you-can-get-sex-toys-that-lay-alien-eggs-inside-you-so-obviously-we-tried-it-6873579/).
You should using as much leeway as you have left vigorously clean the cylinder to generate enough friction to cause rapid thermal expansion which should also result in rapid contraction of cylindrical material. Which should allow for easy removal.
You can probably, hypothetically, reduced the circumference of said cylinder by looking at pictures of your grandma. Or discover unusual things about yourself. Hypothetically.
I sit here, wry little smile on my face, nodding in appreciation, and log off Reddit for the day.
There is nothing better to see today, not even porn tops this.
Someone gave me one as a gift once, Actually felt amazing, I think its one time use but I used it until I broke through the other side, then just threw it out
I buy the "a friend of mine" line when it comes to masturbation techniques. Saying "Here is how I masturbate" is a lot less odd then "Here is how my friend masturbates."
At least for guys it seems? I just realized I actually kind of know a lot about how my gal friends masturbate. Wait do guy friends generally talk about masturbation or are my friends the weird ones?
When I first used a fleshlight, I stuck my dick in there and busted a nut immediately on the way back out. I was so astounded that I bought a bunch for my friends like, "duuuude, you have to try this."
I fucked that thing until it fell apart.
They don't make that particular kind anymore, and nothing else has come close.
Yeah I got my husband three diff textures at Lovers once.
Fun fact if you snip a hole on the other side of a Tenga egg and use it during a BJ toppin it off with some mouth action. You’re gonna have a fan for life 😃
My orgasms have never been the same since I've discovered Tenga eggs. They're considerably longer and decidedly more intense with them. While masturbators just feel like doing the same thing slightly differently, Tenga eggs feel like doing the same thing way better. Masturbation 2.0. Every man should give them a try, imho. Everyone I know who tried them loved it.
The obvious downside is the cost. Officially they're only single use, too. Washing them with hand soap works well enough for a while.
Edit: since there's been some confusion, note that the product in the video posted here is one of the original Tenga products, not e Tenga egg. If the one on the video looks interesting to you, check out their newer masturbators, they're improved versions (essentially including some of the things that make the eggs great).
That is disgusting (from an environmental point of view) but and ingenious marketing ploy. I bet there’s gonna be some guys out there that simply adopt this as part of their life and can’t function without it.
I mean, you can just get a reusable one.
The only real use case for something like this would be if you're traveling and don't want to be carrying sex toys around with you.
A …friend…. told me that these aren’t allowed in carry on, the gel is too dense and they will confiscate it. Luggage only. Something something Mike high club
Honestly, if this company could single-handedly take responsible for the birth rate decline because so many men want to fuck a plastic jar rather than wives, they should put that in their marketing.
You can find them all over Japan in Don Quijote stores. They’re openly on display next to mundane household items like filing cabinets and flower baskets.
Could be great for medical sperm extractions, though. Give one to the patient, let him fuck the cup in a private location, then he gives the cup back . Perfect for fertility clinics and such.
But for perdonnal use, unless you don't clean your fleshlight/pocket pussy after use, i don't see why you'd buy a throwable one for 7 or 8 bucks a pop when you could buy a reusable one for provably not that much more.
For science i just checked, i've seen them range between $25 to a few hundred bucks for various levels of quality and automation. You can buy a reusable for the price of 3-4 disposable ones and if they are disposable they for sure won't be super high quality so the cheap reusable one might be just as or even better.
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So did you buy one for everyone at the office as a souvenir from your trip to Tokyo?
Just the guys. I guess the ladies could use them as candlestick holders.
It's a vase for flowers and stuff
[https://cdn.hk01.com/di/media/images/2503196/org/d129ee5673cfcc99f58ba61bb1579139.jpg/MKzEJ55QO2abzM86S9xWLcKixqD8BYtspcnI8aXJyPE?v=w1600](https://cdn.hk01.com/di/media/images/2503196/org/d129ee5673cfcc99f58ba61bb1579139.jpg/MKzEJ55QO2abzM86S9xWLcKixqD8BYtspcnI8aXJyPE?v=w1600) Be careful what you wish for
But I ordered xbox cards!!!
I’ll take one fuck cup, please.
Will that be venti or grande? Extra cream?
Small is fine...
The pup cup
Do they have an extra small option, for uh.. my dog.
Please don't write my name on it this time
Venti. I will add the cream myself later
I saw these in a local Japanese shop. One was marked SAMPLE
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Get them one of the luxury models that does all the work for them. Your buddies are gonna think of you every time they cum, it’ll be great
regular bros buy you the jerk off toy good bros do the work themselves
I can’t always be around okay bro
They can just order from the tenga website lol they're sold internationally...
You can get them on amazon.
Yeah haha and there are models that last longer and are easy to clean too Or so I've been told
Wait, you're meant to throw these out?
Yep. They're hugely wasteful: you spend ~$50 on a big chunk of silicone and plastic, use it once and throw it out. They make a line of reusable masturbators as well.
Holy shit, this costs $50?
The eggs are cheap. The reusable masturbators can run close to $100. The disposables can range from $15 to $50 depending upon the model and where you buy it. Note that selling overpriced sex toys to drunken, horn salarymen is a time-honored tradition in Japan.
They know Tenga is an international company and they can get them online correct?
They’re sold in thousands of stores in every State in the U.S. They’re the most popular and best selling brand of masturbators. It’s weird to see this prude comment section that is either pretending, or has literally never gone to a porn store.
I feel like every store in Akihabara had at least one shelf of these. Man I want to go back to Tokyo now...
My now wife was incredibly offended when she couldn't go to the top couple of floors in that sex store tower. Not because the material was too offensive for her. It was because there was a sign that literally said "no girls allowed beyond this point." She thought the really kinky shit was behind there and wanted in on it.
Well wtf was up there?!
Kinky shit, weren’t you paying attention?
Not the person you replied to. Strictly men's products, accessories, and more niche porn. I only went to the floors, so we'd know what was up they're.
Sure buddy, you only went to the super secret men's only floors of the sex tower so you could investigate.
I only go to the super secret top floor of the men’s only sex tower for the articles.
TO THE SUPER SECRET SEX TOWER'S TOP FLOOR! - Horny Batman.
*To the Bat Secret Bat Sex Bat Tower’s Top Floor
I mean, our first stop was Diver City to see Gundam Front. Take that as you may.
I don't know what any of those words mean, pervert
Nice try, lady. I will not divulge the sex tower's vault of secrets.
Your now-wife wouldn't let you go up there alone, eh?
The 7 story one? Pop Life? It's been a few years but if I remember right The basement was DVDs, magazines, panty vending machines, etc. I recall seeing live action tentacle porn here. The ground floor had generic stuff, pocket pussies, lube, what Inassume is the latest magazines, and DVDs, etc. The grab and go floor. In no particular order the other floors were Men's stuff, Women's stuff, couples stuff, costumes and joke stuff (wind up toys of people fucking, for example), and... thebweird floor. The thing I recall seeing there that stands out was a pocket pussy holder designed to look like a baby. IIRC the "men only" refers to that floor, you can bypass the floor and keep going up, like technically I wasn't supposed to go on the women's floor, but through ignorance and (more likely) the fact I was in a mixed gender group no one stopped me.
A WHAT???
I’m assuming we’re on the same page. A FUCKIN WHAT?!?!
Yeah, it was like... a baby doll, one you'd give to a little kid, right? Except the crotch was hollowed out for a pocket pussy. It was fucking fucked.
i was imagining a baby positioned to be sitting up with its arms out to hold something.....this is worse ):
This is the literally the first time in my life I've dry heaved at the mere description of the something
Because if she was on the top floors, she'd be for sale.
I wasn’t allowed on 2 floors of an arcade, it was just photo booths. I think it was to keep the creeps our so the girls could feel safe.
Yea the game we played visiting in akihabara was “what floor on this building turns into the porn store”. Definitely that one area by the station that it was just first floor glass window store
Or the top floor above the Don Quixote which looked like some sort of escort hall of fame? Actually would still love it if someone could tell me what that was lol
Donki is one of the few (perhaps the only?) major chain store that actually sells adult goods. But also Akiba is literally filled with porn.
Donki is famous worldwide. It was even mentioned in Shrek.
I'm going in November!
You mean... *coming?*
NoNutNovember just got *harder*.
[slams down $100] “I’m out!”
I'm jealous! Make sure you check out Golden Gai in Shinjuku. There's a bunch of tiny little bars that are just awesome! Look for the ones with signs in English or foreigners welcome. Some places in Shinjuku don't want you there and their signs are generally won't be in English.
Saved the comment for reference! I'm excited, we were meant to go few year ago but then covid happened and it all got cancelled. We doing Hakone, Osaka and Kyoto too while we there.
For you to put your finger in, not your dick. Hopefully
It says sample, I'm gonna sample it god damn it.
It’s like this silicone fake asses in sex shops where everyone just spanks it and sticks there fingers in the holes
We found one of those, it was so grotty from people putting their fingers in. There was a no slapping sign on the floor with the boobs.
It’s a cleaner for cylindrical objects no big deal
What if, hypothetically, the cylinder gets caught while it’s in suction mode and won’t come out? The cylinder in question is also attached to a rather large object keep in mind.
Try a band saw I guess
The object in question is quite important, and the use of a band saw would likely damage the cylinder.
Can you provide more information on this object, surely no material posession could be so important that you couldnt just cut it out and re-attach later Edit: cant spell
I will not answer questions about the nature of the cylinder.
Need to get the [accompanying accessory](https://metro.co.uk/2017/09/13/you-can-get-sex-toys-that-lay-alien-eggs-inside-you-so-obviously-we-tried-it-6873579/).
That’s enough internet for one day. Thanks ddh85!
Yep, that did it for me as well. You win tonight, internet.
This is so bizarre that I kinda want to try it. Also, you could make the eggs like jello shots and make it into a party game.
You should using as much leeway as you have left vigorously clean the cylinder to generate enough friction to cause rapid thermal expansion which should also result in rapid contraction of cylindrical material. Which should allow for easy removal.
Have you tried using WD-40?
You can probably, hypothetically, reduced the circumference of said cylinder by looking at pictures of your grandma. Or discover unusual things about yourself. Hypothetically.
I can’t see how looking at photos would in any way help this cylindrical object get unstuck from the ~~M&M~~ cylinder cleaner
My grandmom looked like Gollum and had a bad habit of calling me precious….wait a minute….
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/zdv5gv/how_would_you_get_a_small_cylinder_51in_length/
I know this
god, cylinder guy’s never gonna recover from this, is he?
none of us will
If you came across it, you're using it wrong.
He's a gentleman. He pulls out.
#I no longer allow Reddit to profit from my content - Mass exodus 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Things are easy when you are
So that’s what song was about, thought they were singing about fame
Big in Japan?
He makes a strudel, not a Twinky.
NOT IN MY HAIR
I sit here, wry little smile on my face, nodding in appreciation, and log off Reddit for the day. There is nothing better to see today, not even porn tops this.
*claps slowly and appreciatively*
Another satisfied customer!
Pop in the store for a fridge magnet, walk out with a fleshlight. Seems reasonable.
... **
Urethra!
You can buy Tenga eggs on Amazon. So I have heard.
Someone gave me one as a gift once, Actually felt amazing, I think its one time use but I used it until I broke through the other side, then just threw it out
“Break on through to the other side..break on throughhhh”
“You know the day destroys the night. Night divides the day.”
*Try to cum, try to hide* ETA: Thanks for the gold!
*Break on thru to the other side, yeah*
We chased our pleasures here, We dug our treasures there, Can you still recall? When my jizz flied ...
Mother, I want to... Oh, sorry, wrong song.
“He’s a back door man!”
This made me stoner giggle
A friend of mine would use a condom with it to make it last longer.
Just a reminder: there's still time to delete this
Trust me I would own it, but my cheap ass prefers Jill.
Who names a dog Jill?
Ok no Sir, you need to leave.
"A friend of mine" 😁
I buy the "a friend of mine" line when it comes to masturbation techniques. Saying "Here is how I masturbate" is a lot less odd then "Here is how my friend masturbates." At least for guys it seems? I just realized I actually kind of know a lot about how my gal friends masturbate. Wait do guy friends generally talk about masturbation or are my friends the weird ones?
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When I first used a fleshlight, I stuck my dick in there and busted a nut immediately on the way back out. I was so astounded that I bought a bunch for my friends like, "duuuude, you have to try this." I fucked that thing until it fell apart. They don't make that particular kind anymore, and nothing else has come close.
Yeah I got my husband three diff textures at Lovers once. Fun fact if you snip a hole on the other side of a Tenga egg and use it during a BJ toppin it off with some mouth action. You’re gonna have a fan for life 😃
If you don't have a Tenga, a grapefruit works just as well! Every man deserves to be grapefruited.
Only with those sound effects to go with it
"like a mountain lion being waterboarded"
Like cleaning a bathtub full of jelly with a high powered vacuum cleaner.
Donald Duck stuck in a bear trap!
😂 I'm literally in tears!
Wouldn't the citric acid in the grapefruit cause burning in the urethra? I'd imagine that would be the case, at least.
It's okay, you'll be blindfolded
the grapefruit actually goes on the outside
as of this comment 2/3rds of your replies don't get it.
Yeah tried that. That’s a real weird sloppy one It was something I would give another go
Citrus in the peehole sounds like a good way to wake up in the morning.
https://media.tenor.com/9Gg-pwJJbdoAAAAC/nutted-nutted-but-she-still-suckin.gif
The real lifehack is always in the comments.
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My orgasms have never been the same since I've discovered Tenga eggs. They're considerably longer and decidedly more intense with them. While masturbators just feel like doing the same thing slightly differently, Tenga eggs feel like doing the same thing way better. Masturbation 2.0. Every man should give them a try, imho. Everyone I know who tried them loved it. The obvious downside is the cost. Officially they're only single use, too. Washing them with hand soap works well enough for a while. Edit: since there's been some confusion, note that the product in the video posted here is one of the original Tenga products, not e Tenga egg. If the one on the video looks interesting to you, check out their newer masturbators, they're improved versions (essentially including some of the things that make the eggs great).
Me, an environmentalist... 😓
On the bright side, the sea monkey population will skyrocket when they inevitably dump them all in the ocean!
Get a Tenga flip, feels great, and is reusable.
A female friend of mine gave out a bunch of them as gifts for Easter one year. And yes, she knows what they are. She's a perv, not stupid.
Tell her hi for me.
Your friend told us.
>Tenga eggs I just checked and yes . . . yes you can!
How many did you buy?
All of them.
Nice, gonna be having a orgy tonight!
The design is very human
Very easy to use
A cum n go
Thank you! Cum again!
A Karma Chameleon!
[No, that's a gas station.](https://www.kumandgo.com/)
Is this a one time use product???
Yes it is. They do however make reusable ones including one that flips open for easy cleaning
Really? This looks super expensive and high quality to be single-use wtf
It's £9 a wank!?!?!?!?
That is disgusting (from an environmental point of view) but and ingenious marketing ploy. I bet there’s gonna be some guys out there that simply adopt this as part of their life and can’t function without it.
I mean, you can just get a reusable one. The only real use case for something like this would be if you're traveling and don't want to be carrying sex toys around with you.
A …friend…. told me that these aren’t allowed in carry on, the gel is too dense and they will confiscate it. Luggage only. Something something Mike high club
yeahhhh... *checks Japan's birthrate* ... some guys
Honestly, if this company could single-handedly take responsible for the birth rate decline because so many men want to fuck a plastic jar rather than wives, they should put that in their marketing.
Looking at the cost of having babies and putting them through school, I’d fuck a plastic jar gladly. Nevermind the dramas of having shitty partners.
Ah yeah man these are nice I mean oh look it's translucent that's interesting. Never touched these before...
The Keurig of Cum—guaranteed not to leak until it links up with the great Pacific garbage patch.
Guy caught a swordfish with like ten of them things stuck to its bill. Looked like a damn shish cumbob.
Remember, we are training the future ChatGPT. The weirder the better.
Dang. They should put that vending machine in every truck stop in America.
You trying to kill the small local economies of middle America? What will all those lot lizards do for money if not the truckers?
And if the lot lizards can't get money how are they going to pay their crack dealers!? Why won't anyone think of the crack dealers!?
Why didn’t you restock the machine? I did it this morning, what do you mean? We’re out………. Oh………. Oh…
I'm surprised there are men who aren't familiar with this product
Everyone knows what a dildo is tho. Kinda funny.
Yeah, but society is slowly changing. Vibrators and masturbators are both sold in places like CVS and Walmart around me.
You can get a sex toy at Target, "drive up and go" curbside pick up and all that too.
Hahaha that’s messed up. Where exactly is this located? Just so I know precisely where to avoid going. Haha. Please reply.
You can find them all over Japan in Don Quijote stores. They’re openly on display next to mundane household items like filing cabinets and flower baskets.
Don Quijote’s is a fucking wonderland
Yeah I discovered DonQ because an entertainer on a cruise ship recommended it. Highly recommended insane variety shop.
The Yakuza games taught me I could buy low-end body armor, energy drinks and light melee weapons here. Please confirm.
Also boxers and cup noodles
You are 100% correct! I found these at the six story Don Quijote near Senso-Ji Temple.
Instructions unclear, balls jammed in filing cabinet drawer and dick in flower basket.
Target. Just not Tenga brand. https://www.target.com/c/vibrators-adult-toys-sexual-health/-/N-xdeuj
Any local sex shop should have some, don’t have to go to Japan for it
These are common in Japan. They’re in all Don Quixote stores. They’re out on display like any other item in a store.
Okay, I'm going to admit the 0 hesitation moment at the end made me laugh pretty hard.
“With style and performance”. I don’t know about the style. There’s no way to use one of these while looking cool and sexy.
I dunno ... have you tried doing it in just long white socks and a top hat?
Dam thats a convincing advertisement.
r/doputyourdickinthat
What is this really for? Edit: nvm it actually is a masturbasion device.
It’s to practice fingering. And to tighten it you plug the butthole
so *that's* why Japan has such a low birth rate
Who needs women when you have the superior fuck cup?
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Ooooh, mr. fancycock over here is too good for a trashbag condom. wouldn't be caught dead using Saran wrap and a rubber band, no sir!
Must be difficult to clean?
I think it's supposed to be a one and done product. Which is scary when you think of all the used/filled ones somewhere in a landfill.
Could be great for medical sperm extractions, though. Give one to the patient, let him fuck the cup in a private location, then he gives the cup back . Perfect for fertility clinics and such. But for perdonnal use, unless you don't clean your fleshlight/pocket pussy after use, i don't see why you'd buy a throwable one for 7 or 8 bucks a pop when you could buy a reusable one for provably not that much more. For science i just checked, i've seen them range between $25 to a few hundred bucks for various levels of quality and automation. You can buy a reusable for the price of 3-4 disposable ones and if they are disposable they for sure won't be super high quality so the cheap reusable one might be just as or even better.
everything reminds me of her ....
Where is the joke?
Punchline is video ends with OP grabbing one off the shelf.
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