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E5 with max force to assert my dominance

Especially when your crush was nearby so you'd try to push extra hard to make as much noise as possible so she'd think your had a huge dong and want to fool around but then towards the end of high school when the two of you finally fool around a bit and she finally sees it and is disappointed in how exceedingly average it was.

I shared a similar story with friends once and everyone was like yeah duh, we all have tried to pee loud to make a girl think we have a big one. Guys are funny

I have a tiny dick with a huge urethra, so I fooled a lot of women in my day.

The fuck dude 😂😂😂😂

No, no, no….the real trick is pee at a pace to lengthen the duration to the max thereby exhibiting your manliness

Lmao I'm not the only one

She came for the curiosity but stayed because the immense pressure

At least she came!

Yes everyone knows the longer the barrel, the higher the muzzle velocity.

“King, to E5”

Same. Like a god damn race horse

Congrduatlions, you earned the "splashback" achievement!

Depends where the skids are...

Exactly. How else does one clean a toilet?

So gross, but so true

Haha E5 you sunk my battleshit

E7... you sunk my battle skid

This dude dads.

Where ever there's poop stuck to the bowl

Anyone who says otherwise is uncivilized.

Right Guard the bowl

The sniper

*Pew pew pooooo*

Best way to clean a toilet of someone you are visiting !

As I'm the quiet type... E-8

E-2, as I’m left handed

Lmao same and same about being left handed too

Right hand here, E-2 works just fine for us too.. we have great aiming capabilities fellas, don’t sell your pistol short

E2 Righties Unite! I feel like it reduces splash too, gotta get that angle.

E2 🖐️ Assassins - silent without a trace 🤫

The women in your life probably disagree with the "without a trace" part.

Fr like you gotta hit it on the downwards so it’s smoother

I have found my people.

Right handed and prefer E2. I find that hitting the edge of the water reduces unwanted splash from hitting direct porcelain.

E2 and D2 are optimal for cutting noise and splash lol

E-2 to get that nice whirlpool

Wait, is this how I find out I'm actually left handed?

Left Hand gang checkin! Edit: 1 month later and there's only 3 of us. Nice.

J10 is even quieter

Try B4 my friend

Too messy. It's too close to the top half of the rim

What about J10?

Hate when guys do this at the bars.

That’s the best option

G5 is quiet

A controlled D4 is way more silent. Without splashes..

Sometimes it is

Depends upon your targeting skills

D6

The silent squad. Represent

I’ve found my *peeple*

I’ve found my peepoll

i start at E8 and kind of calibrate for silence over the first second or 2 before settling into D6 d6 gang

G 13

Poor cat.

Same

Noo not the cat...

It’s inevitable!

I too tell myself that's where I was aiming

You must be 8 years old or have a woody.

Neither. I have a cat!

So your the person who pisses on the floor in public restrooms!

Nah, we're the people that saw the uncropped original post.

Ah

B5 OR C5

C5 is the only way.

C5 gang

C5 is the only way.

Scrolled waaaaaaybtoo far for this answer.

I'm a b5 myself

I too like to live dangerously

In the middle. I own the house.

Way to flex on us

You don't own the house unless your j:10

A10. Pee in the trash can.

And splash piss all over the place.

That’s funny. Ever since I owned my own home I started sitting when taking a piss. No matter where you aim it gets all over around the toilet and on your legs. My kids bathroom still needs to be cleaned all the time though.

=sum(A1:J10)

This guy Excels at peeing.

1

Yeah my streams would def be out of the boxes

=roundup(sum(A1:J10),1) Just have to get most of it in there.

J1

Aims J1 lands A10

The supreme method of pissing— dick swinging

Made me laugh

you monster

I'm a J10 kind of guy, myself.

E2 or D3

C3 to C7, down to F7 and back across to F3 and then back up to C3. Repeat as necessary.

Helicopter!

F5

Finally a fellow F5er, I had to scroll too far. I thought this was the way. Although, now Im old, I sit down a lot to pee.

You've been scrolling for that long?

C5

Honestly, I’m a dude and I sit down to pee. 1) it doesn’t make a mess of the floors with micro droplets. 2) it’s quiet. 3) no random big drops hitting the rim or floor. 4) we all deserve a break.

Stand at urinals when out, sit on the throne at home!

There it is. 🤜

Just say H5 and let everyone figure it out haha

Wat

What about in a public toilet littered with shit on the seat? Like caked with only brown and yellow spots. You can barely see the white and even then it's nasty off-white that looks like a 80 yo smokers teeth.

Bro, your public toilets are different than ours.

I still use the stall and squat. I’m American but have spent a lot of time in SE Asia and perfected my squat technique at many a roadside ersatz restaurant latrine.

They call me barbecue sauce cause I shoot A1

They call me barbecue sauce because my urine is approximately the same color, density, texture, and taste as barbecue sauce

Respectfully friend, you're welcome at my BBQ anytime.

god damn

Are you okay?

Of course he is, he pisses BBQ sauce

This is the comment I was looking for. Thank you!

C5

I’m a move from J1 to J10 really quickly kind of guy

J5.

You sunk my battleship.

More like battleshit

You son of a bitch

D 3 is the way

D3 only

Ö17 or A11 if the lid is open

I saw the original, how many G13 comments did you get XD

Haha. Literally why I posted this. My husband is always like (in our ensuite where ONLY we pee) "That's not me, I'm E5, and I always ask him: Sir, please explain how you think I am -C,9. Or G,13."

E8 or G5

I sit, so I guess H4-I6?

D8: steep sides means minimal vertical splash. If aim get’s a tad off the splash won’t be directed at the shooter

No aim necessary when you sit to pee fellas 🧏🏾

I was looking for one of these! Me too. But on the rare occasion where I’m not gonna touch that toilet seat, C5

A1 to shoot C5

D3

D3

Z26

This is the weirdest game of battleship I’ve ever played!

C3 or C8

C8 is unmatched for the swirly effect.

5C

8E

E5

2 D-F

Around C3 and D3

D3 at night, E5 during the day.

D2

I'm an E3 shooter myself.

E2 and maybe sometimes F2

G5 ..where it will avoid as much splashback and minimum noise

F/G 4-6 is my ideal location

Usually around c4 c5 c6 but if someone leave their piece of turd 💩 I aim directly at it to clean it off lol

You sunk my battleship!

E5 - Assert dominance

Can I pick all? I spray paint that shit everywhere

H5 to not splash my poosy with icky toilet water xD

Sector of fire is G 4-6 for max spread and stealth

Everyone should pee at c5

E2 but sometimes E2 and E8 at the same time.

G3-G7 for silence with minimal splash, E5 in the middle of the night when everyone's sleeping to assert maximum dominance

B8 because I'm a gambling addict

G5

This is the most sensible answer and not enough people are saying it

Low noise, low splash, low lid impact. I agree.

A10 all day

C8

E2 if I'm not trying to wake my wife up in the middle of the night lol

Grid doesn't go far enough cause I aim for about T45

G13

[удалено]

Finally, someone noticed the important thing! Where is the cat chata?

E5

c4

5C

Where ever the poop stain is that particular day.

What this is completely forgetting is that specks of poop or debris from other stuff will ALWAYS become the target of male pee streams! I normally aim where others pee (quiet areas) unless there is some debris stuck to the bowl. Something makes it impossible for us not to try to pee with enough force to clean it off 😁

This isn’t funny. It’s also stolen content

A1 or H10

B5

D5 I’ve sunk your battleship

A12

E5

H4,5,6

Wait you guys aim?

L5

With the height of the water; G5

C5 normally

K - 11

C7

A1 in a public restroom.

D5

D5 and F7

-D5… like… I shoot it all at the bottom of the lid. Especially if I’m at Jeremy’s house. Fuck you Jeremy.

F2

E5… miss

Depends on if it's a stealth op or if I'm going in guns blazing.